LadyGang - LG QUICKIE: Happy Birthday Ford

Episode Date: February 16, 2023

Keltie and Jac are here to protect Becca at all costs and get an update on everything that’s been going on. From the power outage, to Ford walking and his first birthday, it’s been quite the eventful past month.  Check out our amazing sponsors!!! Nutrafol: Grow thicker, healthier hair by going to Nutrafol.com and use code LGPOD to save $15 off your first month’s subscription! Progressive: Quote at Progressive.com to join the over 29 million drivers who trust Progressive!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey guys, it's Kelty, and I wanted to let you know that we're still having the $10 sale on our tour t-shirts over on the website, theladygang.com, the softest, most beautiful, killer tour t-shirt. Who f***ing cares if you didn't come to the tour? The tour t-shirt was better anyway. It's super cute, we bought too many, we're having a blowout sale, they're $10, head on over to theladygang.com, you can get them right now. And by the way, while you're there, both of our books, Act Like a Lady and Lady Secrets, are in stock, signed copies, and we're so excited for you to get them. And if you've read Act Like Lady, but you haven't picked up Lady Secrets, it's like the perfect summer beach read, which will be so great. And summer's right around the corner. So please pick them up.

Thank you for the support. Thanks for keeping our business afloat. And we love you guys. It's time for a quickie. Podcast One presents The Lady Gang, the Hollywood girl posse with Lady Gang Quickie. Here's Kelty Knight, Becca Tobin, and Jack Vanek. Let's make this quick. Hello, hello, hello.

welcome to the league and quickie i am becca here with jack and kelty i pretty much slurred that like i was hi kelty and i were also doing some like eyebrow raises to each other like ew what's up really really feeling it kelty you're in the thick of your gut renovation renovation gut yeah can we get some updates because i'm not gonna lie i haven't really been following along your Instagram stories. Cause it's too much. Like I have been, but like, it's too much. Listen, today, first of all, I love that both of you for anyone that thinks these girls don't want to hear about sconces. You are wrong. They love me and they love my sconces. Um, and I'm so excited to give you an update, but first I really, I'm, I'm, I am naming this episode, protect Becca Tobin

at all costs. Okay. We need to protect Becca Tobin at all costs because the world is coming for her and I need to discuss it because I also have only been watching my own stories over and over again and not checking out any things. And I didn't realize you were in the dark for five days. Now you've strep throat. Like there's so much going on in the Becca Tobin world and I just, we need protect Becca Tobin at all costs. So Becca, are you okay? I'm, you know, it's weird. Cause like when you say everything, I should not be okay. But it was crazy. There was an ice storm in Texas. I'm sure everybody's heard about it by now. Um, and we lost power for two days. Um, the first night that we had lost power, we were like, okay,

we're gonna all sleep in ford's room but you know ford is still not even one so it's like hard to you can't put him in the bed he'll never sleep he's never been in a bed with his parents he'll like be up he'll be you know it's so we needed to be in his crib we just like put a bunch of layers on him but until they're one years old technically you're not supposed to put a blanket in their crib with them right because they can strike right yes so i was like i will not put a blanket in there also i did not have my monitor even though we're in the same room it's pitch black because we have no power i was like i don't have like my monitor because we have no power to watch him and make sure he's okay not strangled in a in a blanket so there was like so much stress

then i had zach had his meat thermometer in the room because it was the most accurate reading of what the temperature inside the room was. No, you did not take a temperature of your baby with a meat photographer. No, no, the room. Oh, the room. Yeah. She's like, here it comes. I've been in raw meat right before that. Exactly. I'm so sorry. This is why I can't be a parent. I want everyone to know that I am aware of the lunacy and the insanity of this whole thing, but when you're in it and you're stressed and you feel like, you know, I don't know. I, in hindsight, I probably could have chilled out a little bit, but anyways, we're in the room. He has like a day bed, queen size day bed in there. Thank goodness. So that me and Zach were on that bed with the dogs and it

was about 11 o'clock at night, no 10 o'clock at night. And I was like, it's getting really cold in here. Like it's the temps are dropping. What are we going to do? And then like a gift from God, the power returns. Oh, wait. So was it, how long was it off for? The first time it had been off for like 10 hours. Okay. But daytime hours. Daytime hours into about 10 or 11 o'clock at night. And then Zach and I were like, oh my God, it was the most exciting thing ever. We could like leave his room. His monitor was working. His sound machine was working. Mind you, I have now bought everything on Amazon that is battery operated. Why on earth are there not enough? There's not enough things in our lives that just use a battery, like a good old fashioned battery. Because it's hard to use

batteries now because then you have to have batteries. It's more of a pain in the ass than charging something. That's true. Until the power goes out, then you're fucked. But I just went crazy on amazon i bought like a battery powered monitor for a baby that doesn't require wi-fi i bought some little table lamps that have you can pop a battery in them you know you can almost live a normal life with the power out but then zach was like this we're getting a generator so we will be getting a generator okay um but it's expensive it's expensive and um but he he said it best we spent a ton of money going to a hotel the second night because the power went out again And I was like, I'm not doing this. Okay. So you did night one, you tried to make it through

and it was a freeze that caused this. So it was frozen. Everything was frozen. And then, so what happens is the branches of all the trees, these like heavy trees, they get ice on them and then they become very heavy and they fall on things and on power lines and on houses. And And so is it like an ice storm where Texas is not used to ice storms or this was just like a freak storm where it was an ice storm and then the heavy branches and like, so this doesn't ha well in the last couple of years it's been happening, but before this, it really hasn't been a thing here. So when I think of Texas, I think of like a warm, mild winter.

I don't think of a freeze. It normally is. So there are arguments about, you know, fixing the grid and putting the power lines underground, but to do that, it's like billions of dollars. And, you know, so it's just, it's a city that's not equipped for winter. Yes. Um, so then we went to a hotel. What are you wearing?

Sorry. I want to go back to the night. Not right now. I want to go back to the night where you were freezing and you're sleeping in Ford's room with him, trying not to strangle him with a blanket. Like what, what do you and Zach have on? Paint me a picture. No, no, no, no.

I'm more concerned. What is Ford wearing for? Yeah. What is Ford wearing? Do you have a photo? Okay. Ford is in every night. he does a double diaper cause he pisses himself like a, like a frat boy. So he's in a double

diaper. He's in a onesie footed onesie Burt's bees. They make great onesies. Yeah. They make really good like pajamas for babies. Who knew they made clothes? Who knew? And then I have a, so they sleep in a, it's called a sleep sack and it's like the little sleeping bag that's, that they wear. Right. Like I wish I had one. Yeah. Yeah. It's a dream. Jack Van Dyke basically like exists in a sleep sack. If we just sewed up the bottom of your thing. That's actually exactly what the second layer looked like is if she, the barefoot dreams robe, but zipped up at the bottom and then another sleep sack on top of that. So he was in like triple layers and one of the layers was really heavy. Um, so, and it wasn't like, it wasn't like 30 degrees in my house. It was still

pretty insulated so we were working around you know low 60s so i didn't want to like go crazy and then zach and i were wearing i was wearing just sweatpants and a hoodie and socks because i didn't want to be too bundled because we both wanted to have a perspective on what it was gonna what it feels like to be not under a duvet you know to be forward but you know those babies they can survive anything they can those babies and like plane crashes and then they're like babies into the snow and then they and then they survive like a blizzard no listen i think that i had like a lower likelihood of surviving this than ford did and i was the whole time i was thinking there are so many babies that are do not have any of this modern technology no heating and

air like get your shit right but i just couldn't no you know not oh my god wait can i ask you a side question that doesn't have to do with this exact story. How often on a normal night are you checking that monitor? Because I feel like if I was a mom, I would be so scared that my baby was dead every five seconds that I don't think I'd take my eyes off of it. Well, I have the parenting hack of a lifetime. The mothering hack of a lifetime. We established early on that Zach was going to have the monitor on his bedside table. I would make Jared do that too. I just don't trust myself to not hear something i don't i think i sleep a little deeper and i wouldn't allow myself to fall into the deep sleep if i knew that that was there and it was my responsibility

so that's what we have going it works really really well i mean and he's in our room he was in our room for the first five months of his life like in a crib could hear him yeah which was like much easier once he went into the nursery i was like a little more anxious but that's when zach was like you know just sort of took over the the monitor situation but i'm i'm lucky but i highly recommend this if you're having a baby or you just had one put it on the dad's side unless you don't trust unless he's useless like bump on a log give them responsibility that's a really good idea yeah it's a really good idea this episode of lady gang is brought to you by neutrophil and my beautiful head of hair i've talked about this i just made a powerpoint presentation to give to the owners

of Nutrafol to be like, this is what this has done for me. I don't know why these are the things I do like at three in the morning, but like my before and afters before taking Nutrafol to after is insane. And I truly believe I have sprouted more hair. My hair stays on my head. It is more adapt to blow dries and heat tools and holds its color longer. And I just feel like I have the hair of my dreams. And by the way, I was not born with this head of hair. This is Nutrafol because I always, as a kid had thin hair. My mom always gave me a little bob cut. I hadn't one of those girls that were like mom could put rollers in your hair and then at school pictures you had like all this beautiful hair. I've never had good hair in my life until now. In a clinical study,

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29 million drivers who trust Progressive. Progressive casualty insurance company and affiliates national average 12 month savings of $698 by new customers surveyed who saved with progressive between June, 2021 and may 2022 potential savings will vary. Discounts are not available in all States and situations. The lady gang. I want to say that like, I'm so glad that you had a baby and like Christina and all my friends are like in baby land because it gives my mom, Sheila, something to do rather than just give me notes on the way I'm living in my life. Like she was not excited about the pantsless Grammy's dress. She was like, this is too much. But my favorite thing about this is that Sheila now, her favorite saying, you were just talking

about all the technology. And she's like, she's literally that, like not a grandma, a grandma that's like, Oh, might be nice for Becca. All these monitors that tell you the baby's breathing. we just went up to you and licked your face to see if you still were making air like back in my day i walked 15 miles back and forth to check on my baby and she's like oh that little baby seat that rocks itself well when you were little i stuck you in the car and drove you drunk like i'm fully aware that i would not be able to be a parent in any other time no only the future but not anything earlier than this even my sister when she had her first kid it was 10 years ago they didn't have any of this she had the thing under his mattress where they still have that

people use it but it's this sensor that you put under the crib mattress where if they sense that your baby stops breathing it goes off like a freaking fire alarm and you know what do you have for that? So I have the Owlette, which, um, we used a lot up until he was about seven months old that goes on his little foot. Um, and now we also have the Owlette. What is it? You could not get over the Owlette. It's amazing. I mean, I need it for me. Is my heart beating? What is it? for a baby it's the it's breathing it's pulse movement it can sense when it makes me feel better in like a deep sleep like i could open the app and be like oh ford's been in a deep sleep for 30 minutes like it's crazy it's mind-blowing imagine sorry imagine back in the

day when there were no monitors and none of that shit your baby could have been kidnapped and you wouldn't know for nine hours if you were asleep like that's so crazy no my mom told me a story and she was like what sorry not to go back to Sheila it's about Becca this is protect Becca at all costs but she's like when you were young you crawled under the bed and I couldn't find you for eight hours you were such a quiet baby you were just under the bed and we didn't know where you went I'm like oh my god oh my god this is a lot of childhood trauma but anyway okay eight hours protect Becca so night one the the heat stuck it out it came on but it came back on yeah and then good. When did it go out again? The next afternoon. Oh, so you were like, we're out of the

clear. That was a really hard night. We made it. Yep. And then, um, I said to Zach, I was like, we have to find a hotel that's like, they were all booked. So many hotels were booked because everybody was dealing with this. We found a hotel downtown and we booked it. We were like, this will be great. It'll be wonderful. You know, we, we were there with some friends who also who didn't have power, but two dogs and a baby in a hotel room and one dog, Barbara, who decides she doesn't go to the bathroom if she has a leash on her. This dog will not poop or pee if she has a leash on her. She is a yard dog only. She'll go for a walk for seven hours and never take a piss. Oh my God. No way. She's a demon dog and she, it was the most stressful part of

being in that hotel was because I took her out before we left our house that afternoon at like noon. We get to the hotel, doesn't pee, doesn't poop. Like many times that I've taken them both out. Zach comes back. He's like, I'm going to take her out one last time before I go to bed. Doesn't go. So I'm laying in bed and I have this little blackout tent, which is amazing for Ford. If you're in a hotel room or sharing a room with your baby, you have a little pack and play, which is like a portable crib. And then it's called a sleep pod. And it's like, it's a tent that goes over the pack and play that blacks it out completely.

Oh, so it's like having a little tent in the corner of your hotel room. Okay. It's awesome. So the baby's fine, but Barbara is. Barbara all night long. i'm like waking up being like i just i can't understand how she's not dying she's has not gone to the bath it she almost went 24 hours without going to the bathroom poo or pee animals are insane but i will tell you this is that we have gotten on the lady gang instagram a ton of

dms people wondering about what happened to barbara because they were like that it was like because you were on tour and you're like orly's on tour and like everyone's like orly came on she has this baby and like no we never talk about you don't talk about no no no but barbara is not getting talked about because this is a praise only podcast and barbara is causing us stress she causes me so much stress and she she's right here because she's also an appendage this is the most needy dog if anybody has a doodle mix of some kind like every, she will literally get on top of my body at night. It is the most annoying thing about this dog. Like you want a dog that loves you, but you don't want a dog that smothers the

out of you. This dog smothers the out of me. She knows that she was like, but she's like the younger child, which usually I feel like gets treated better, but like she needs to prove herself. So she needs to become the favorite. this is knows exactly birth order at its finest she's a middle child like oh yeah she's a middle child she's a middle child so there's she i mean technically she's older than a ford but she came into our lives or no she's no that's right yeah so it was orally who's like the favorite like angel child got everything i tell my sister it's always i'm like i want to die in each other's arms and even if that's in a couple years for orally like i don't want to live without her

and then barbara came along and it was like oh cute and fun and whatever but she was only the star for like like two months and a minute barely barely and then ford comes in of course he's the young like little yeah you know bouncy boy we haven't had a boy so she's just also also a human which makes a little difference well i don't know you line up orly and ford it's a tough uh Oh, yikes. Okay. Um, and then, okay. So I have one more question. So then when was the cute video of Ford is walking? First of all, like, were you with him when you took the first steps? I know. Have we not, we haven't even talked about him walking. He's walking. Is he talking? I didn't even know. And then like Becca, I know you don't like to like really play that deep on the internet,

but can I get a real afford walking? This is a big deal. When were his first steps? We have no idea. I only saw all of a sudden the lights are out. She has no power and Ford is leading the way through the house with the lantern. I was like, what is happening in Becca's life? She needs help. Okay. Well, here's why I didn't have any kind of like, yeah, he's walking. And I think this is pretty standard. Now I'm realizing with children, there's not just like a day that they start doing anything. It's like a gradual weird thing where he was, he was pulling up on furniture since he was six months old, like six and seven months old. He was like pulling up a furniture, climbing stairs, like the whole nine yards, but not like actually properly walking.

And then they do this thing where they're like pulled up on furniture and then they like walk between furniture where they're not fully letting go of either thing. Right. And then one day he just decides that he's going to like, try to take a step or two steps or whatever. And then boom, it's like, he decides to take four steps and then it's off to the races. But it's not this like, we're like holding them and they're like, no, there's a video and they're like, come on little boy. No, it's like riding a bike where you take your pedals and then you're, yeah. Yes. So it's like, I just don't, or at least with him, there wasn't like those moments of like, of he's walking and he's not, it suddenly he was just

walking. Now he does not crawl at all. He just walks. And I'm, I'm pretty stoked about it because I, what? Baby shoes. There's nothing cuter on the world. The only reason I would ever have a child is that I could put them in baby shoes. Here's the problem. His feet are so fat. Not a foot model like mom. Nope. Did not get mom's feet. They are the fattest things. And also they're as they're like, you know, they're, they're high. They've like got a pad of fat on top of the arch it's a brick no it's just like they're like a they're like a sort of like a sphere it's a loaf of bread it's like a cartoon wait do they not fit into baby shoes no so i have the cutest sneakers ever you've got to have a wide fit they do there's

new balance and i know this because my nephew had the fattest feet ever and he was always in those really ugly dad shoe like with the velcro across new balances and every single one of my friends was like yep if i if you have a kid with fat feet don't bother with anything except for the new balances for fat feet so placed an order today i did order a pair of vans that i'm hoping for his birthday party are going to be okay checkered slip-ons he has checkered slip-ons um from when he was like smaller, which worked. Cause they were kind of like a slipper meets a shoe. Um, but then I got him like this really cute, like tan pair for his birthday party. Oh, baby shoes are so freaking cute. Oh, it's his birthday today. Oh, happy birthday.

Happy birthday Ford. Good thing we talked about him like the entire episode. Yeah, this is great. This is a birthday episode, AKA protect back at all costs. So listen, we, we are out of time for today, but here's what I want to say to everyone. I want you to go on over to at back on Instagram and I want you to leave Becca Tobin, our new mom who made it through year one of having a baby. Wow. Something really nice and really wonderful about her. It could be her excellent style. It could be how great she looks in tons of layers when the power goes out. It could be her opening up about parenthood here on this podcast, whatever. If you're a Becca or you're a fan of Becca and I know you are, let's go over and give her some love because she did it. This

been a crazy year. She did it. She kept this baby alive till one. And I want to celebrate her because a lot of weird, why is this happening? Stuff has happened in this year. And you made it through like a champ, Becca. I did it. I did it. I'm so proud of you. Thank you so much. All right. Well, happy birthday. We weren't here for a long time, but we are here for a birthday time. Happy birthday Ford. Thanks for listening. The Lady Gang is produced by Alex Ingber, steve delameter and jared monaco make sure you subscribe rate and review our podcast and if you love it share it with your friends on social media like oh my god i just listened lady gang this episode's are great swipe up to listen and if you really want to which we know you do please

follow us on social at kelty at becca at jack vanek and at the lady gang sign up for our newsletter at the lady gang.com and join our secret facebook group it's super fun see you next tuesday We'll be right back. Play the free Pluto TV app on all your favorite devices and start streaming now. Pluto TV. Drop in. Watch free.