LadyGang - LG QUICKIE: Holiday Review

Episode Date: January 6, 2022

Although this was intended to be a holiday review, the ladies fell into a rabbit hole discussing the future career of Becca’s niece. Find out if she got the role in Alice and Wonderland, how Jac created the Jerri Doll, and the non-tourist activities that Keltie explored in Middle East. Check out our amazing sponsors!!! Daily Harvest: Go to DailyHarvest.com/lady to get up to $40 off your first box!  Chime: Get started at chime.com/lady - sign up doesn’t affect your credit score! obé Fitness: Use code LADYGANG to get a WHOLE MONTH FREE at obefitness.com  Universal's Redeeming Love: Find tickets to a theater near you to see Redeeming Love at RedeemingLoveMovie.com See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Oh, Lady Gang, you know the year was quite a year and we have a present for you. If you didn't get Lady Gang clothing, now is your chance because shit is on sale. For instance, the velvet dress right now, the beautiful velvet dress with the jewels on the arm detail, it is $59. But then on top of that, everything else is an automatic 20% off. So head over there, get a sweater dress. I've worn mine 15 times already. The Swacket. That's right. You can be cozy all year long with the Swacket. 20% off. Go to shop.theladygang.com. Shop.theladygang.com and get yourself some goods. It's time for a quickie. Podcast one presents the Lady Gang, the Hollywood girl posse with Lady Gang quickie. Here's Kelty Knight, Becca Tobin, and Jack Vanek. Let's make this quick.

hello hello hello welcome to the lady gang quickie i'm becca here with jackie kelty oh my god i missed you guys so much i know you did but i did such a good job let's and talk about my gold star first time in six years i did not bother you during the holiday break no but because you were in the middle east yeah i could have bothered you and i bothered other people we did have like an emergency not emergency but it was work call that popped up in between christmas and new year's that kelty's like we got to take it and during the call like all kelty could say is how much she missed us yeah she heard our voices like it's so weird we haven't talked to each other in like three weeks i can't believe it i miss you

guys so much i know and like you guys are like cricket cricket cricket and you're like i'm not missing you at all since you've been gone i missed you guys i missed you guys a lot like something didn't feel it didn't I didn't feel complete like yeah it's like a little bit of an anxiety like a looming funny things were happening and I wasn't texting you them oh and then did it even happen no if you didn't talk about it didn't text another friend I had like a delusional moment where I forgot that we like consciously decided to take time away from each other and I was like god I have so much free time do I start another business like I really oh my god that moment you guys yeah same and then i was like oh wait no kelty's gonna be blowing my shit up for any days any day with

all this free time i thought i was gonna have then i was like oh wait we have to rewrite our entire book so never mind so in a week hey um anyway but i did have a great i had a great holiday and i really did miss you guys though and thank you for getting on the phone and doing a meeting um in the middle of the holidays but other than that it was great so uh everyone was Mary, Becca, your little niece is so grown. Oh my God. Everyone wants an update about her audition. Yeah. What happened? So my sister didn't really know. Can you explain, can you explain? Okay. So Quinn, I've gotten DMS from lady gangers saying we need an update from Quinn because one of my good weeks was that I was coaching her for an audition for Alison Wonderland in her drama

class and she is in, she's six and my sister is not a crazy stage mom. She doesn't have time to think about it, nor is that in her DNA. And so I'm the one who's a lunatic about it. And she, my sister just didn't have all the information and she didn't realize that there were older kids auditioning for this show. And so they're not going to give a six-year-old the lead role when there's like fifth graders auditioning yeah and so my sister gets an email telling her quinn did so great in her audition she's going to be playing mama pigeon in allison what's mama you gotta start from the bottom i have no idea what that role is it's a quote lead role but my sister had did you google it i did google it i did google it you did of course

you did. Okay. Well, because here's the thing at first I was pissed because I thought at six years old, if you're trying to just start kids at that age, like ignite a passion for something, my opinion, if you're going to put on a show is to tell the kids, Hey, you're auditioning for mama pigeon this week. And then to the girl that's going to get mama pigeon. And then to the girl that's going to get Alice. You're going to say, and you're going to audition for Alice. So that like, there's a confidence, their first experience with an audition and learning material and putting in hard work is actually, I know this is going to go in the category of not everybody gets a ribbon, but it's also not sports where it's like, this is just me being on a soapbox. Like it's,

it's not subjective. It's art it's performing. So you don't have to be the bearer of bad news. if your kid sucks at soccer, the game is going to tell your kid he sucks at soccer. He's not going to score. But if your kid's auditioning to be creative and sing and dance and act like, I think your first experiences with that have to be a little bit gentler. Like you can't have a girl because or else you turn out like healthy, like a psycho. Exactly. Constantly gripping for. Yeah. That's all I could think about was the negative. The positive experiences are the things that you have to have like outweigh the bad if you're because it's also the first thing she's ever shown any Tristan Tristan she's well yeah but is she excited about mama pigeon or no

we had to talk her into being excited about it god she was pretty good I said to her listen I because she's in this phase now where she wants to she tells everybody she wants to do what her aunt Becca does for a living like oh my god mini Becca which is really cute because like she's the You know the only child in my life who has ever like been impressed with what I do My nephew just wants to be like a you know, professional baseball player So she tells everyone that and so I said to her I said quinn listen There have been so few times in my life that i've been the lead of something I started off as ensemble character. I was an orphan in annie. I was never annie

I said I just the key is to work really really hard at that one thing It doesn't matter how big or small. And like, that's the key to success and continuing to get more things. And she was excited and she was very receptive to that, but I'm a little bit annoyed with this is how parents become psychotic. And I'm scared for myself. Well, it is better. I think it's better that the first thing that she auditioned for, she got knocked down a peg because then if she got Alice, then anything that she would audition for coming in the future, she would think that she would automatically get what she's going for. So it is like a bit of a life lesson for her to learn immediately.

So she'll be a little bit more grateful or think that she earned something if she does get something in the future. I think, I think so. But I, there was like a better way to approach it. I don't think you should. It's like, if you are in your kids into art, like you're, you're tell them to paint the best thing that they can possibly paint to be on like the big wall at the gallery. And then they show you and you're like, oh, you know what?

It's not going to go on the big wall, but it's going to go over here at this other shitty wall. yeah so it kind of like i don't know i know maybe i'm stupid and maybe i'm too sensitive and i've been too affected by this but i just feel like you don't have to get knocked down until later like your first experience with an audition should be positive for everybody but then what what about the people that didn't get so are you saying did everyone get a role for sure oh so it's like there's a role for everyone so couldn't they have just given told everyone here's your grade you're six years old and you're going to be auditioning for this and this and this

and this it is bizarre they had her audition for alice when they're like 15 year olds auditioning that's what i'm getting mad about like that's weird they've at least be in the same grade auditioning for these things yeah like manage her expectations before she works her ass off yeah i don't know i just had such a giggle because i was like the holiday review has turned into quinn's career analyzing like children's but i just found my brother's office i had more dms about the update on quinn than anything i've talked about on the lady gang oh for sure yeah yeah so what else did you do random shit you know yeah i just found a back scratcher in my brother's office i see that um i don't know if i'd share that with someone even that's gross

actually that's true he probably uses it on his butt why don't men have that jared i don't understand why men have the scratch the itchiest backs it makes no sense to me i get so annoyed when zach's like will you scratch this part of my back the very middle yes like in between the shoulder blades yes like what is that i don't know um okay well thanks for asking i had the best adventure in the middle east it was incredible you didn't you haven't had anything to gloat about that's so weird i felt like your entire vacation was gloating that you were on a fancy vacation yeah gloating for like two weeks straight you guys i reserved myself so much from your trip on instagram yeah i only did three nights of stories you did it felt like it was

every night it just felt like you were batching them like you didn't post all day because you probably didn't have service. And then when you got back to the hotel with service, it's like, yeah, but I was gone for 10 days and I only did three big story halls. And I honestly, there's 500 more photos that I didn't even share experiences, mesmerizing, enchanting, enchanting, enchanting laces. Um, so I, I did feel like I tried to keep it low, but I guess, wow. I do have a bone to pick with you because you did post a picture of you doing the Jack pose and you know that is triggering to me so oh oh yeah i know and then everyone was like you're bringing back the jack and i was like i forgot that we retired this and then it was like chris

never wants to meet a photo it's his only time that he's like happy to take a photo with me is when i let him do the jack so he was like stoked and it was like a nice picture so i'm i apologize in advance i should have done like a trigger warning on that photo for you i'm so sorry um but I'll just tell you that uh my tour guide Adnan is in love with me I've never felt more beautiful in my life I have a big bone pick to pick with Chris Knight because Chris Knight is not a words of affirmation kind of guy and this tour guide was like you have the most beautiful eyes and you know like the language he speaks German and Arabic and English so his his English is like a little choppy and he's like your eyes and then like i'd be like adnan take a picture of

me and i'd have my sunglasses on and he'd be like sunglasses off like he just loved my eyes so much and then we're at petra and you know i don't do junkie tourist shit so i'm like i'm not buying the you know indiana jones whip or the t-shirt or whatever like i don't do that jank and but we walk by this bedouin guy and he was like and adnan's like you have to try this just try it it's free. You just have to try this. And I was like, okay, what is it? And he's like, it's eyeliner. It's, it's coal. And I was like, well, I hate black eyeliner. Like I hate it so much. And, and he was like, no, no, it's going to be beautiful. So like for 20 minutes, we're sitting there, this strange man who doesn't speak English is dipping his little thing into a pot where the

he got this pot. What's in it. I don't know what other eyes has this touch. I'm in the middle of the middle East. Like, what am I doing? It's COVID like idiot. And then he just rub, puts it in the bottom of your lash line and then he just takes his fingers and like smushes my eyeball together so the coal goes on the top of the eyeball and then adnan is egging him on and he's like more more she needs more because like in the middle east that's very much the look is like the coal around the eyes like they don't they don't do a bronze smoky over there okay carrie does it in sex in the city too she does the coal oh well i didn't know that i don't remember it was so bad i've like blocked that out from i love that movie anyway so i i did it and then i got

roped into buying my own pot and i was like whatever it's fine it's gonna be like this i'll keep it and on my shelf and it'll be this like cute little memory and then i got home and i was unpacking my bag and the bottle says pakistan on it doesn't even say jordan it's like it is such a it they probably made it in china like it's like the worst kind of you know when you get like something from like they're like we locally made this you mean ow you bit my tooth jesus you mean like when anyone comes to the united states to go shopping and they bring home stuff and it's all made in china yeah or like it's like oh i went to greece and i got this beautiful scarf but then you look at it it's like made in china so i'm like i don't want to do that

but then anyway so anyway do you think you'll ever use your eyeliner again well here's what i'll say is that I instantly washed it off, but it stayed. So if you are interested in a black eyeliner, which I am not, it was like three days. It was in my lash line. It would not go away. And Adam was so disappointed the next morning when I came down and had like clearly scrubbed my lash line with a baby little tooth or not a toothpick, a Q-tip. Like he was like visibly like disappointed it in me. But anyway, I've never met a man that loved me more. He was like the best man. He works on tips, but he was like, he was just so special because he, he, I've just, he knew I was going into my 40th year and he knew I was having a mental breakdown on this trip about being an old

broad. And he was just like, you're so beautiful. He's like your energy. He's like, you've renewed my love of travel. And he was just, he was like, I really wanted to sit by you at the fire, but I don't want to make Chris mad. Like, but Chris was like, Chris loved it. Chris is like, he loves you so much. And I was like, I'm going to need more words of affirmation from you. So I made Chris say, I love you to me five times a day. And he got to choose whenever he got to say it. So he would say it at like really inopportune times. Like when I was skirting hand sanitizer on him or like when I actually farted under the bed, you're making him say, I love you five times Cause he won't. I said, you know what would make me happy on this trip? Words of affirmation. So

I'm going to let you tell me you love me five times a day. You can choose one, but I'm going to need that to fulfill me. Now, who was, who was keeping count of that? Was that you or him? It was me. And there's some days that he didn't, he gave me two and I'd be like, it's 10 o'clock at night and you're short, you know? And he's like, I get to choose when I do it. Like it was fine the only we had one little we had one little fight because um we slept in this dome and you know chris is all about the power of the earth he is like he's a psychopath for the power grid like he really for a man he's a green guy he he's like no but only on certain things it's like he'll use paper and a million papers and throw out the junk mail and read a paper

magazine. But then he's like, we can't turn the power on. So we're in the middle of desert. It's 30 degrees. It's so cold. And we're going to like the dinner to have the dinner in the little hut or whatever. And he's like, let's turn off the heat of the dome. And I was like, no, let's just leave it running for an hour. So when we get back, it's warm. And he's like, no, we can't. I'm like, he's like the power grid. I'm like, oh, God damn it. So he turned it down. And then I got back. I was so cold. I went in a ball. I had a little cry. I yelled at him. I was like, i don't understand why you don't want me to be happy and you guys also like flew across the world like does he think that doesn't pick up any energy being on that plane

where he can control it he controls it i was so mad i was like i don't understand why you want me to be so cold all the time like i just i hate you so much and he's like i don't want this air just blowing on my face anyway whatever it was a great vacation we did fall back in love which is wonderful i mean we've always been in love but we're like extra in love now you are yeah that's good yeah it was good and he barely went on his phone he only did one conference call from the middle of nowhere i did love the instagram story of him on the conference call i was like oh shit let me just set the scene we drove two hours into the wadi rum desert it's the middle of it's like you're in the middle of the grand canyon except way vaster we're in a camp sun city camp that has

eight giant domes, only cold water showers. The whole thing is solo powered. And the, what you do at night is you go sit around a fire and they give you tea, but the chairs are like, it's so janky. You guys at the chairs are like from the motel six in Pittsburgh and they bought them on eBay. And there's just like six dining chairs from like the motel six banquet room. Like that's what you're sitting on. Like, it's just, this guy comes around, he has a, he has a teapot that he puts in the fire to keep it warm i'm like i don't know where this water came from i don't know where this cup came from like it's just so many thoughts and then chris is like i'm gonna do a call i'm like we're in a fucking canvas tent like anyway but you had a great time so much i ate so much

bread oh my god i ate bread every day did you have like a gluten breakout i had a huge belly like a little um not a breakout like i had a little like pooch like a little like all the gluten sat in my stomach until like yesterday, I swear to God, but I, it was fine. That's all I have to say. It was great. Thank you for your warm hospitality. When you would come back Jack's vacation. I feel like daily harvest is one of those sponsors that every time I prepare my smoothie, I am grateful. I am so excited that daily harvest delivers all of this to my door because I'm the laziest person on the planet. And yet I can get all my fruits and veggies in and not even have to think about it. I just love Daily Harvest so much. They deliver harvest bowls, flatbreads. I'm

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Jack, how was your vacation? I mean, I laid real low. Like I said, I still don't feel that great from my surgery. So I kind of, I canceled my new year's plans and Jared and I just like hung out at home. I went to big bear for Christmas, which is beautiful. It was a white Christmas, played scattergories, made cocktails, and that's about it. I didn't do shit really. Yeah, but that gift was amazing.

I saw that you canceled your new year's Eve dinner reservations because it had been on my calendar. And I do not know why this keeps happening. I also know you're about to take a trip to Philadelphia. So have a great time. No, I'm not. That's probably Alex's that are popping up on our lady gang thing. Are you sure? I don't know what it's like. There's something because it goes through my jacket, jack vanek.com email. Then it like adds to the lady gang calendar. I am going to Hawaii.

And I noticed that my entire Hawaii hotel was on the calendar. So annoying. I, the entire break, I saw like you're going somewhere called the stay or you were supposed to stay Phoenix or some. yeah you're going to phoenix oh yeah i'm going to phoenix in a couple weeks yeah that hotel's on there and i'm like i want to delete this but i also don't want her to like not have her itinerary yeah i don't know what it's like it just automatically goes into the litigant calendar i mean i guess it's good that you guys know but i guess jack's out of town shocker i'm out of town tell me about the process of making jerry's gift i thought it was very special thank you yeah i made Jared, Jared, uh, the Jerry doll. It was, uh, a Ken doll that I customized myself. It took

me for ever. Um, but I basically found a long haired Ken doll on Etsy and I bought it and I waved his hair and I put freckles on with Sharpie. And then I found all these little, if you're looking to make a custom Barbie doll, go on Etsy. There's anything that you could ever imagine is on Etsy. I got him a Jerry jacket. I got him Taco bell. I got him Jack Daniels. I got him a little computer and put our picture in it. I got him everything that he could have ever wanted or needed. And then I like made the whole thing on Photoshop, printed it out, put it together. It's kind of janky, but I thought it was really cute. Now I have a question for you. Yes. Zach, the first year we dated for my birthday, he didn't get the memo that I'm actually not

whatever the opposite of that kind of gift receiver is, is what I am. And I was skiing a lot that year and he made me a trophy and it says world's best skier or world's best Becca or some bullshit. Okay. There's a skier on top. And like, I'm not kidding you. Every move we've had, every garage organizational moment that I have, I'm like, I want to throw this away so badly. so in in your apartment like where are all these where's the jerry dog going this is the problem you guys know my apartment's tiny and i have no storage at all so that is that is the problem there's nowhere to put any of this shit at all i'm like okay we're gonna need some storage in our house when we get it's literally just sitting against the fucking hemjury box that i made last

year that's the thing on the floor every you make something every year i know i can't help myself i think you should spend less money on etsy and more into the house fund oh my god i probably spent so much money because each one of those little things is like like six dollars for this little bottle of no jack daniels that's like a half of an inch tall i'm like this is gonna be great for the gift this reminds me of my etsy shopping spree when i was buying beads for all my necklaces never got mine i was like oh i'll buy waiting on my maybe it's by Becca, but live your life. It's over. The phase is dead. Cause I would be spending like hundreds of dollars on Etsy. I know you can find any Etsy is amazing. And then you're

supporting a small business. I'm like, how the are these people making these tiny bottles of like hand sanitizer? I thought I was going to make one for my parents who took me way too long, but I have the accessories from it. So I have a mini cause my mom is a germ freak. So I have a bottle of hand sanitizer. That's like a quarter of an inch tall, mini little masks. Like they have everything for that reminds me of your friend from turn on who to like we interviewed and then like had a bunch of minis and had like traveled them to her house in vancouver yeah that's probably where she gets them all on etsy she gets a lot of them on etsy and then they have actual like tiny collections like there's collectors all over the world for these miniatures

my favorite my first gut reaction when i saw the jerry doll was like oh this is why jack didn't want to do anything in December. Why? Cause I was too busy with your tiny Jack Daniels tiny. I was like, wow, it was really kind of difficult to get that flyer from Jack in December. It didn't seem that busy, but I don't know. Well, yeah. Cause you were designing a Barbie box for your boyfriend. Oh my God. You know, I, and now I've like put myself into this, like now I have to do it every year and I have to make it better and better and better. It's just, I'm in a competition. You don't have to you can give up once you get married you can give up you only have like one more of these i have one more year left exactly well i did miss you guys so much and i'm so excited for january

because it's becca and i's birthday month whoop whoop whoop whoop dada yeah are you gonna be okay no not at all i think you're gonna be fine not at all because you keep waiting i keep being like um people like why'd you take such a big trip i was like oh i'm turning 40 and they're like oh yeah yeah i get it now like all my mom's friends were like yeah oh yeah oh and then like right before the holidays i decided to test my eggs just to see oh and how was it i have none so you literally have none it's a dry and vast desert and then i got a notification that i'm gonna hit menopause like 10 years earlier than everybody else normally does why i don't know they were like your average age for menopause is your your age for menopause is

44 and i asked my mom because it's usually like based on when your mom yeah and she was like i think i was like 55 oh well this period will stop that'll be nice yeah and anyway whatever we're going to talk about this later in this month when we talk about periods we were here for a long time we were here for a good time thanks for listening the lady gang is produced by alex ingber steve delameter and jared monaco make sure you subscribe rate and review our podcast and if you love it share it with your friends on social media like oh my god i just listened lady gang this episode's so great swipe up to listen and if you really want to which we know you do please follow us on social at kelty at becca at jack vanek and at the lady gang sign up for our newsletter at

theladygang.com and join our secret Facebook group. It's super fun. See you next Tuesday.