LadyGang - LG QUICKIE: How’s Your Sex Drive?

Episode Date: August 19, 2021

We are wired to want sex, but why is it that our daily lives get in the way? Cindy Eckert is opening up the convo to make everyone a little bit more comfortable even if it means referring to sex as ice cream. So whether having a sex playlist turns you on or an organized closet, you’ll be screaming for ice cream again soon enough. Visit screamforicecreamagain.com to learn how to sweeten y our sex life!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Welcome to The Lady Gang. You're about to listen to our podcast, but there is so much more our community has to offer. Follow us at The Lady Gang, join our secret Facebook group, shop our clothing line, books, and find out when we're going to be in your city at theladygang.com. We're so excited you're here. Enjoy the show. It's time for a quickie. Podcast One presents The Lady Gang, the Hollywood girl posse with Lady Gang Quickie. Here's Kelty Knight, Becca Tobin, and Jack Vanek. Let's make this quick.

Hello, hello, hello. Welcome to the Lady Gang Quickie. I am back here with Jack and Kelty, and we have a sexy, sexy, sexy lady joining us today. Kelty, give us her bio. Well, I'm so excited mostly because the lady of the hour was recently spotted at a party with Paula Abdul, and I need to find out everything about this. So thank God. I mean, this was before, but now I'm even more excited to see her. And of course she's wearing pink, but Our guest today is making her second appearance on the podcast because she makes us feel rich and inspires us to keep growing with a 25 year career in healthcare. This badass woman has built and sold two massive pharmaceutical companies for more than 1.5 billion. That is billion with a B.

She created a sexual revolution through various campaigns. And today she's here to help us bring our sexy back to the bedroom and scream for ice cream. And so please welcome to the lady gang, cindy eckert cindy welcome back welcome you know i was actually gonna wear my lady gang sweatshirt but it is i wear it every day and it's in such like it's it's embarrassing like it's stained it's every i love it so i'm happy to be here and happy to see you guys your beautiful faces it's a weird thing and i'm trying to get myself out of this that no matter how many beautiful things you have in your closet. When it comes to just being comfy, you will always choose the like most beat up. It's like a snuggle blanket or something. What is that? Oh, I don't know. It's

like comfort food. I have my comfort lady gang, light pink sweatshirt. Thank you. I was going to say, is it pink? Cause she has the, what do you mean? I know. Well, I, I, we don't have many pink sweatshirts. So I was like, it was, it was, I love it. Um, so Paula Abdul. Yeah. Get this on the way. Let's just start there. Let's start there. Come on. I walked into, I got, I was at Paris Hilton's premiere of her. But like, how did that happen? Well, Paris and I are friends and, um, and billionaire friends, just this show, this is so funny. It's so funny. And I walked in to celebrate her cause she's crushing it. She's having such a great year. I think since she really opened up with her documentary and everybody got to see a little bit of Paris. I mean, that's

Paris, right? If you sit down with Paris, you walk to the table, you have tons of assumptions and then you walk away and you're like, oops, yeah, not really. And you know, I love that about women and how people always underestimate us. So she's, she's characteristically one of them and she just crushes it in this new show. But Paula Abdul was there to celebrate her too. And of course I had to fan girl. She's tiny. She's everything that you expect out of Paula Abdul. she's adorable and tiny and she's high-fiving me um for you know the women's sexual revolution it was awesome i love a high five but i mean come on a high five she has to like jump though because she's so small she's like jump up to reach um but my thing was is like paula was just there

because paula's not on the first season i watched the entire first season of cooking with paris because i was like oh paul i saw paula with cindy i saw it on your instagram i was like i saw paula so it must mean that she's on the show. She's not. So maybe season two, she's just actually a good friend and doesn't have to celebrate herself while she's celebrating somebody else. That's the fun of Paris's parties. You just, she has the most unbelievable friend group and you're like, oh, and you and you, and don't get me started on Kathy Hilton as a housewife. I mean, come Kathy's pranks are hilarious. I am obsessed with her. I know Paris because of Kathy. Actually, Kathy came to a talk I gave at sunset tower and she walked up to me afterwards and she said,

I'd like for you to meet my daughter. And I said, yes, please. Oh my God. That sounds good to me. What if you're like, nah, that's okay. I'd like to meet your daughter as it turns out. And, uh, and that's been a romance ever since I love Kathy. She's so funny. Her impersonations, her pranks are hilarious. I love her. And she's so it's like, she's not in on the joke, which is so funny. Like she's not trying and she's just so funny. Yes. A lot like me. Well, she's a Pisces. No, she's a Pisces, which is the people that you, this is, so I know the astrology, blah, blah, blah. You may not believe it, but though Pisces in particular live on another planet in the best way possible. They're operating, you're looking at them and you're like,

where, where are you living? I want to be there. And I can't, I can't make it there. Like my brain won't let me get there. Listen, I celebrated Kathy too. I actually hosted the premiere party at her house for her just to celebrate her joining and she's having so much fun and it was so much fun, but I was over there, I don't know, maybe an hour before the party started. And I'm like, Kathy, go get made up, like get ready. What's happening? What is happening? People are kind to show up in like 45 minutes. I love it. She's a trip. I am a big fan. So we brought you here today because the last time you were on the podcast, we're going to link to that too. Cause I want everyone to like, go hear the full, it's one of our most popular episodes of all time,

but you have gone out into the world and, and you, um, you've done, uh, I wanted to ask you this. So we're talking about sexual revolution today. What are three findings about the brain and sex that you have found through your trials? Okay. Here they go. One, we are all wired to want sex, right? It's survival of the species. And I think that we think men are wired to want sex, but not necessarily women. Nonsense. Biologically, men and women are wired to want sex. Okay. So how do we have sex? We actually shut the brain down. This is interesting. We basically close all the tabs, right? Just like your computer. Think about how we all work. And I mean, look, I'm looking at a bunch of type A's right here, like her brain and we're going all Kelty. I'm talking about you,

like we're bringing through going all the time, right? All the time. And you actually have to be able to close the tabs really to have sex. We're very animalistic in essence when that happens. And I think the third and most important finding is for millions of women, millions of women that goes off. So that basically switch gets disrupted and they're not able to quiet the brain. So these are the women who are lying in bed, doing their to-do list, going through everything for tomorrow. And like literally their partner touches them and they're like, don't even think about it.

And it's what's happening to them is not some kind of mood thing. and it's not some kind of psychological thing, it's biology. And I think that's where the conversation has leaped forward because for so long, we've basically told women like, chill out, have, have a glass of wine, have a bubble bath, just calm down. Then you'll think, and it's like, no, like, this is not how the brain is actually working. Do you think that it's gotten worse as like technology has like taken over our lives and like you, you can't escape anything that's going on. No doubt. I think one is like absolute overload of the information processing center of the brain. And that's really the part of the brain

that's controlling sex drive. So that's a piece of it. And then I think it's also probably some other factors like, you know, nobody has to say it, but of all your listeners, probably a lot of them have been on birth control for a long time, right? We're on it for a long time. What does that do over time to sex drive and things like that. So I think there's a variety of reasons why more and more women are struggling with this issue. But yeah, I think Jack, you're, you're spot on. I think part of it is just those environmental factors. And then it's kind of embarrassing because you, okay. So you like, you turn on your Netflix, right? And like sex life is on and Bridgerton's on and everyone's humping, everyone's humping.

And then all the music videos, everyone's humping. And then Doja Cat's like, I feel like something. And I was like, I have never not related to a lyric in that song. When she sings that in that song, I'm like, really? I feel like eating an ice cream cake, but live your life. We live in this hyper-sexualized world. And so when you are not that person, that's always in the mood or able to like wrap your head around, like having the sex life of your dreams. Um, I think you feel shamed and I think you feel guilty and you feel like you're a bad wife or a bad lover, or, you know, like, I don't want to be one of those people that like Chris is off at a barbecue being like, Oh, the last time I had sex

was the stone age. Like, I hate that. Like I want him to be like, I'm the most sexually satisfied person I ever met. So there's a lot of shame. And so you created a campaign to sort of like allow people and women to, to kind of discuss and talk more about their sort of sexual lives. Yes. Scream for ice cream again. That is it. I thought, listen, it is embarrassing. And while I think, you know, even the lady gang audience, you guys are great about talking about sex, but so many of us are really embarrassed. We don't want to bring it up. Like we might be able to bring it up through a joke, but we really can't talk about it. Like, honestly, when is the last time you sat down with your girlfriends and actually said like, how much sex are you having?

because to your point, Kelty, you, you always feel like you're the only one, right? Like if you're the person not having sex, you're convinced that everyone's having sex, like you're watching on all of those shows and everything else. And yet millions of us are actually dealing with this. So I happen to be on a podcast, um, with a family who's very like, I'll call it a very G rated audience. Like a lot of their listeners listen with the kids in the car and they said, here's the deal. You can't say sex. So every time you want to say, they're talking to me and they're telling me you can't say sex. Say ice cream. And I'm like, okay, this is going to be fun. So I'm starting to be like, is your libido a rocky road? You know, have you lost your appetite? Is

your ice cream? Do you want to scream? Like I'm trying to do it. And yet what was incredible to both of us is the response. Our phones blew up. My DMs blew up. My messages blew up. And I thought, oh my gosh, like I'm so, I've been in this space for so long that I have zero filter. And I realized that for others, it's not that way. So how do we just say, you know, let's talk about ice cream and by ice cream, of course I mean sex, but let's just talk about ice cream. Right. And how do you want to, do you want to scream for ice cream again? And how do I give a platform where women can just learn about the issue so that they don't think they're not sitting there embarrassed, ashamed, and not bringing it up because they feel all alone.

Yes. And I will be the first one to tell you that when I went to the site, I did the HSDD quiz and I felt seen and I felt like I have not been screaming for ice cream lately. And I would love to get back into the ice cream maker and eat me a mint chocolate chip. So I'm excited about everything you're doing. We all have to say which flavor we are. I think it's by the end for sure. I mean, you know, it's, you know, it's so funny is that Jared's out of all time favorite ice flavor is vanilla you can have any like any flavor that you want with all the fillings i mean that doesn't translate to the non-ice cream but it's you know is he vanilla when you want ice cream does he give you a scoop of vanilla i've been pushed past vanilla we're fine

see it's working cindy it's working all right so what i thought would be fun is if we all kind of chimed in on the things that put us in the mood and our love and like all of those things because we're just making all of our listeners feel less alone about their you know sex drives whatever they are and i do want to say in the facebook group some girls were like i can't get enough like they are out there for sure it was a small percentage percentage okay what is the smell that puts you in the mood. Ooh. Oh, a smell. That's an interesting sense. Okay. I have a weird one. Okay. Old spice, Fiji deodorant. I don't know what is in that, but I'm, I'm here for it. Smells like clean, man. You're like, you just got out of this. I know when Justin puts it on,

I'm like, what's going on, baby. I love that. It's called Fiji. Like that has a scent. yeah that's right yeah i'm on a vacay okay becca i mean just anything clean anything that resembles clean because i'm not the girl and i wish i i wish i could be the girl who is like i love it after my man works out and he's so sweaty no no thank you that's like the absolute worst not that he smells bad but it's not the thing i want to do i don't want to climb that tree you know jack um mine might be like a nice like a musky candle because it makes me feel like i'm at like a really swanky hotel then maybe i like went out and got a little drunk and then you're coming back and like that that could put me in the mood i love the smell of a campfire i don't know if

it's because i grew up in northern canada where i'm like the campfire is nighttime and it's like used to like hide behind the barn and like have a makeout like there's something about drinking like malibu rum around a campfire that really puts me in the mood malibu rum is the choice barf okay what is the song that always puts you in the mood jacks is gonna be the best for this one well i i have uh like a triple x playlist that's what it's titled on my spotify can you send that to us yeah i mean it's just it's a collection because my thing so i only really listen to music if i'm having sex if it's at night and we've been out drinking a little bit and i smoked some weed then it's like i have to have all the things like perfect like ready to go

but that's when i put on that playlist and it's all like really like slow like sensual sexual you know jams right it my pony exactly no saddle is it emo sexual music no it's like it's a lot of it's like kind of like ambient uh like oh okay like uh because i don't want anything i don't want anything too jarring like a lot of this well you can't open another tab no lyrics it's very what cindy's saying you can't have another tab no because all the tabs it literally stresses me out. I'm like, I'm not in the mood. Now I got to go to my phone and press the forward button on my playlist because I can't focus the whole thing, but I'll send it to you guys. Thank you. I love it. Um, Chris Stapleton's voice makes me horny. So I'm going to go with Chris Stapleton because

he's Southern and Zach Southern. Like there's some parallels, you know, it's like a rugged man who likes to drive pickup trucks, but always clean, but always clean showers three times a day. It's a real juxtaposition. Cindy, I'm, I'm going with, um, the XX. Yeah. Just put them on. Yeah. They're on there. They're on your list. I know they are, but I want that list. Yes. love that tell me something about me is it am i a psychopath like i sad music turns me on yeah wow feeling so judged it's like i could get down to taylor swift evermore like just like well evermore is a little bit better either anything sad no is it like twilight you're thinking of being like i think so i don't know

sad music and then i'm like it's our last time together like is it in my head i don't know anyway yeah see the whole reason we're doing this podcast is so we can all have less alone feel less alone so all you sad lovers that are like listening to the head and the heart and like oh my god so sad i you're not alone you're not alone what is a non-sexual thing that turns you on like an organized closet oh my god i love that you get sexually aroused when you see an organized closet yeah when chris like folds his t-shirts the way he folds them and layers them like all color coordinated i'm like god i love you oh i have one i was thinking about it the other day during sex uh i woke up in the morning and the alarm goes off and i'm just cranky

and i was like i have to take orly to the vet to get a vaccine or some bullshit it's like it's an 8 30 appointment so it's such a bummer and zach just says i'll take her like out of nowhere just i'll take her and i got to stay in bed and that night i was like yes i do i get it now because my sister will talk about it when her husband does stuff that helps, you know, lighten her load. And since we don't have kids, like we're kind of just on our own islands, doing our own thing, taking care of ourselves. But that thing, I understood it when the moms get horny for the husbands that help out. Oh yeah. I was like in the act being like, I could put out every night if he did something like that every day. Boom. All right. When we come back, we have Facebook

questions for Cindy from our Facebook community. Hello, hello, hello, you sexy ladies. If you've been living under a rock, we are collecting all of our favorite lady secret stories for a brand new project that we are working on. And this week we are collecting your stories, your deepest, darkest, secretive stories about dating. Now, this is something that I can relate to because i pretty much almost exclusively have really terrible cringy dating stories so if you have like a dating app disaster when you thought that the guy that you're going out with was like six five and gorgeous and then you get there and he's five two i don't know if you have lies that you have told to get out of dates before i have bailed on dates for the dumbest reasons ever like

pretending that my grandma died when she died 15 years ago or if you have like first date blunders or, I don't know, accidentally dating your cousin. Somebody out there has had to do that. Write in your stories at theladiesecrets.com. It's completely anonymous. You can put in a little alias. We can't track you at all. Or if you're more of a talker, you can call us.

1-844-SEXY-LADY. That's 1-844-S-X-Y-L-A-D-Y. Make these stories juicy. We want the juice. I'm Lola Blanc. And I'm Megan Elizabeth. And we're the hosts of Trust Me, the podcast about cults extreme belief and the abuse of power now on podcast one we want to

debunk the myth that people who join cults are uneducated because anyone can be manipulated by a narcissist and we should know we both have been join us every week as we explore the world of extreme belief talk to survivors and experts and share our own experiences with cults and the abuse of power get new episodes of trust me every wednesday on podcast one and anywhere you get your podcasts the lady gang okay we're back um so i posted in our facebook community uh just like i just put sex drive tell me your thoughts and we got many many thoughts and so i just want to have discussion it's not they're not all questions but just like your thoughts emotions thoughts thoughts thoughts okay uh she said i need to actively think about sex to at least have some

sex drive. It often feels forced and exhausting. Do any of you have this? Why is it that some people are horny 24 seven and I could go weeks without having sex? It's, it's that switch. I'm telling you, there's something about, and I think when you take that quiz, um, on the site, it talks about basically, have you lost your appetite? Right. I'm going to wonder, I'd love to ask her the question, has it changed, right? Did she used to have it? Is something changed? And is it, it's bothering her, right? So I think that's really it is that she's not thinking about it. In fact, when women are treated for HSTD, so when you treat this biology, the biological basis, one of the first things they say is, my God, I had a fantasy. Like, I can't remember the last

time I had a fantasy. And that's how you know that again, that, that, that balance, that perfect balance you needed went off. And actually when you get that balance back, your mind is doing what we're wired to do, which is be driven to have sex. So I feel like that she's, she's probably one of the women dealing with HSTD. Wow. Oh, we had so many girls in the Facebook group talking about antidepressants, stealing their sex drive. They were like, I had one till blah, blah, blah. I had one till blah, blah, blah. Can you discuss like how those work together? Huge. So it's such an issue. And I would tell you, like, here's a hypothesis for me. Many women who have HSTD go in and describe it and they're put on an antidepressant.

Oh, because our old school sort of societal thinking is you're just, you're just freaking out. Like just, it's, you're just sad. If I make you happier, this will all work out. And it's actually different, right? What's happening in the brain is different for depression versus what this is around sex drive. And so it's important that you can take the treatments for HSTD with antidepressants. That's important to know. You can address both things independently, but it is absolutely true that I think if a woman is sad because of relationship issues and everything else around this issue, she's been for years before there were solutions, she's been put on an antidepressant and it's further killed her sex drive. Because what's happening with

antidepressants from a mechanism, I'll geek out on science for a second, on serotonin is serotonin is an inhibitor. So when you are on antidepressant, you're further inhibited from sexual cues. That's really what's happening with that, just so you know. So it's stoking your inhibition. Interesting. Whoa. It's literally turning you off. It is absolutely. And actually when drugs are studied for, for depression, they actually are required to test women to see how much men and women, how much they kill their sex drive. Like, so they know like it, it's killing your sex drive. Wow. That's crazy. Next lady gang says, uh, I went from being insatiable to literally dreading

the thought of having sex. I love my husband. He's insanely attractive and does all the right things, but having children killed my sex drive. Will it ever come back? This is the story I hear every, every day, every week. This is the story. And it is, again, this is how, you know, right. You were, you were once happy and something changed, right. Something has changed and you can't quite figure out why, why is that? And what I hear from women all the time is exactly what she just said, which is, I love my partner. I love them. I mean, they're so attractive. I wouldn't want to be with anyone else. And yet like, I'm never into it. I'm never in fact, I'm like turned off when they touched me or I just, I don't want to deal with it. And, um, I don't know, I might

have shared the story with you guys when we were on before, but it was in, um, 2019 rumor Willis and I spoke in San Francisco and we spoke to this big, big group of women about this issue. And I got off the stage and this woman came like gunning for me. She was running, running to come say, say hi. And, um, she basically said, listen, I was with the divorce lawyers. She's like, I'd lawyered up. My husband had lawyered up. This was the piece of resentment. Like I just never wanted it. And once you don't want it, all of a sudden we're fighting over everything right we're fighting over the dishes the this the that like all the little resentments get amplified and she said and we decided that was it like he was done I was done and she said

I heard you on a podcast and I thought wait a minute what if this is it like my doctors actually never talked to me about it but this sounds like me and she went to her doctor she she has HSTD and she said can I take a picture with you show my husband we're still together no way my eyes out And I think this, you know, one of this lady gang member who wrote in, like, this is exactly what she's struggling with. Like, I love my partner and believe me, like flip the coin, a partner, we all want to be wanted. Sure.

Right. All of us in the bedroom have an ego. Like we want the person we're with to really want us to think we're the most attractive, most everything. And if somebody is suffering from this, like they just don't want it, that partner is taking it very personally. Yeah. Very personally. And what's so sad about that is if we would just be having this discussion, they would know it's, it's actually outside of her control. It's brain chemistry. She can't

will it away. So, you know, she deserves to be able to talk about it. And you know, if she's right, get treatment for it. And like how hard that has to be so hard to try to talk to a partner about too, to try to convey that exact thing where it's like, it has nothing to do with the partner at all, but no matter what you're going to take blame for, or you're going to feel guilt and have like put blame on yourself for that. So that's just so hard to communicate. It is. It's why I, it's why I'm so passionate about this conversation being out there, because I think the relief I see on the partner's face is almost greater. They're like, oh my God, they do love me. Oh my God. She's still, she is still attracted to me.

and that kind of aha moment is, is just huge. I do want to lighten the mood. I have two hilarious comments that I want to read you, Cindy, just because it was so funny. Okay. So there's two, uh, one post cause they're not all bad, not, this isn't for everyone. This is not a saying like, like we just want to have you on because this is so interesting to us. But, uh, this woman goes, no, slow down here. I'm 50. And I had to take a break just to write this post. I love it. That's so great. And then another woman said, I have zero sex drive because unfortunately my husband is just bad at sex, but he gets it done every time though. My team got a note a little while ago and the woman wrote, and she says it was like,

I'm 76 years old. And up until a year ago, I was a real Tigress in the bedroom. I was like, we all got around the table and we're like, yes. Oh my God. You need to study this lady. Like how do we become her? And she was pissed. She's 76. She wants to have a good sex life. And I love her for that. Um, I think you're right. I'm so glad you said that Kelty. This is not, again, I think we just need to have this conversation. Sex is on your own damn terms. Yeah. Right. There's, there's on your own terms. I just think that if anything has changed for women and they're not happy, they deserve to talk about it. Cause let's face it. We've been talking about men and sexual satisfaction for 20 years. I mean, you haven't watched the Superbowl

turned on, uh, you know, the radio and not heard how wonderful it is to be sexually satisfied. But the subtext of that, that we weren't even conscious of is if you're a man. yeah it's about time we talk about it for us too wow i agree and and cindy i'm so freaking glad you're here and i feel i just feel like i got wrapped in a big like hug of i did not know that i mean i think the last time around i don't know if we talked about that the antidepressant thing because i really don't know many friends of mine that aren't on some sort of antidepressant i mean I think we all are on them. Just so you know, a third of all women are on an antidepressant, which is so crazy because then you're, you're sad because of the antidepressant and you don't

want sex. And then your relationship, I do think like what we always talk about when we have people that are, have been in really super long marriages and stuff, they're like, you have to connect, you have to like stay sexual, you know, you have to be attracted to each other. The men need their eat, like all of that stuff. So it's all connected. Um, Cindy's amazing. We could go on forever, her, but we cannot because she needs to go run multi-billion dollar companies. Kathy Hilton had me to her house and we had a sex confessional and I wish they had filmed that incredible discussion behind closed doors and all women again, confessing like this is where I'm really at. Is that where you're at? And again, she did that on purpose and got women together

to talk about it. So I should give her thanks. And I'm so glad you guys gave me this opportunity to just talk about it. Well, listen, follow Cindy at Cindy pink CEO. I mean, this is an incredible campaign, but you do so much and you're just like the biggest boss lady. Every time I see him like, Oh, what's Cindy? Oh, yep. Changing the world. Um, we're going to post the quiz that you're talking about. If people want to take it, it's visit, uh, you can visit scream for ice cream again, scream for ice cream again.com. Um, you can take the sexual desire quiz to learn. If you may suffer from a hypoactive sexual desire disorder. This is what Cindy's talking about. H S D D. Um, don't feel scared. It's a very short quiz. I've taken it and, uh, and head on over

scream for ice cream again.com. I'm excited. Thanks, Cindy. Thank you. Thank you. My team wants to do a campaign that says, if you're not in the mood for Ben or Jerry or Mary for ice cream again oh my god this is my test case your audience will tell me yeah thank you that's great i will love it and we'll link the quiz in our um instagram too so you guys can go there to to check it out because i know everyone will ask okay we love you cindy love you guys thank you thanks for listening the lady gang is produced by alex ingber steve delameter and jared monaco make sure you subscribe rate and review our podcast and if you love it share it with your friends on social media like oh my god i just listened lady gang this episode's so great swipe up to listen and if you

really want to which we know you do please follow us on social at kelty at becca at jack vanek and at the lady gang sign up for our newsletter at the lady gang.com and join our secret facebook group it's super fun see you next tuesday