LadyGang - LG QUICKIE: Insecurities

Episode Date: November 28, 2019

Insecurities. Everybody's got 'em. But maybe if we talk about 'em it doesn't make them so bad? Some things can't be avoided but not all of them have to bring us down! Thanks to this episode's sponsors! Hulu – Start your free trial today at hulu.com . Zazzle – Receive 20% off sitewide now through December 31st at zazzle.com/ladygang . Thinx – Get $10 off your first pair by going to periodbetter.com and using code L ADYGANG.  See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

It's time for a quickie. Podcast One presents The Lady Gang, the Hollywood girl posse with Lady Gang Quickie. Here's Kelty Knight, Becca Tobin, and Jack Vanek. Let's make this quick. Hello, hello, hello, and welcome to The Lady Gang. I'm Becca here with Jack and Kelty. Hello, hello.

Kelty, I have a question. I had a thought as I was driving here. I was listening to the Trashcast, and the word Celtic was used. yes now is there any origin between kelty and celtic even though celtic's a c and kelty's a k yes is it a nod to yes i'm so glad someone has finally noticed are you celtic yes well when i performed uh okay nope nope yeah that's not no but i'll tell you do you think you should have a podcast instead of the k-type call it celtic with a k no no no but i did do um when i was

19 years old i was a featured performer on the norwegian sky cruise ship and i did i did a show called sea legs circ and as a part of circ just like a show okay yeah sea legs get it yeah sir yeah get it um and as part of the uh sea legs circ performance we started with these like giant hula hoop costumes and like and then we're like aliens and then at some point in the middle of it it turned into river dance which is like tight anyone that knows a cruise ship show knows that like it aims to please everyone yes so it's like we are cirque here's a gymnast here's a ballroom dance couple now we're doing river dance but like in our Cirque du Soleil costumes like it's like a small world entertainment buffet yes and so I do remember that we had like these hats and then

these little fur things and it was like I was doing a little like and that's as Celtic as it's ever gotten all right but Kelty what a way to who knew that there was gonna be a whole story behind that i did i did too um then uh i will tell you that kelty the name guess what it means you guys guess jack becca you guys guess i don't know those weren't very good guesses it means warrior and my dad saw it on public access television in canada and my mom was like i want to name her elizabeth and oh my god i cannot imagine my dad i'm lizzie are you so fun you could be lizzie she's so fun lizzie is lizzie's are spazzy so lizzie is our spazzy yeah yeah in a good way

in an adorable way like so yeah and then my dad was like no she's being named kelty um what were your what was your name supposed to be jack um raven god thank you was it so my mom was kind of like in the hippie names it was raven or skylar or veronica thank god you didn't get named skylar there's so many skylar's but not an rh skylar's the new amanda really oh yeah ava is the new amanda i don't like the name ava but yeah or yeah no offense to all the avas and skylar's out there i like the name skylar i like it a lot i think it's cute i think it's not a lot of girls rh have the name skylar and i liked the name raven so they were both good names but my dad was like i don't want a hippie name so then jacqueline it was then you'd be named jack

yeah little did they know what were your other names natalie natalie seems the right amount of bitchy bitchy yeah and then i was supposed to be zachary if you're a boy i was a boy oh if you're a boy okay as a woman well i didn't know i was like wait it would be zachary and zach i mean it would be weird it is weird though that my name was gonna be zachary although it was like the name of the year like yeah there's a lot of zacks so many zacks in that like 30 mid 30s range right zach ryan yeah chris christophers are everywhere so many christophers like the amount of chris's i've dated like probably 10 i've dated a lot of chris's you have yeah i dated a lot of ryan's and i dated some chris's but that's everybody's just named all the same shit all right when we

come back we're going to talk about our biggest insecurities the lady gang we're back what do you hate about yourself girls everything i just feel like as we get older it's just harder to be confident and now i understand this is what i'm so i'm so bummed out about is like growing up in your early 20s you think I'm never gonna be one of those like weird older women like I'm not gonna be weird and bitter and I'm not gonna be obsessed with like my my looks and aging and blah blah because I also didn't have a mom who was come to find out she was she just was very conscientious about not being insecure in front of my sister and I which is a big thing we'll get on that tangent later. But like, I didn't know that that's just what happens. You cannot avoid it. It's like

death and taxes. If you're a woman, you're also going to feel really shitty about yourself in your thirties. When you start drooping, everything changes and it is a real bummer. However, I am happy to hear that all these myths that women talk about because it's from quote babies. No, Women just didn't wait long enough to have the babies. Your boobs sag because you get older, not because you have babies. You get cellulite and you get softer, not because of babies. You pee yourself, not because of babies. Women just never got to the point where they were 33 without children.

That's true. It all happens. That's true. Well, physically, the thing that I'm the most insecure about is that I have a very rectangular body. I've never noticed that about you. a rectangular body so like you know how you're supposed to be like hourglass shoulders and then a waist and then out to the hips yeah my body goes straight up and down and it doesn't matter stanley i'm flat stanley shaped oh my god thanks for bringing it up no only because wow no only

because you i'm so thin from the side like a cart like it's literally straight up and down like yeah inches wide yeah but from the front because you can't have it all because you have hips i don't have enough no it's because she doesn't have like an hourglass figure like yeah like i'm i'm gonna stand up now like it's my boob is the same size as my waist is the same size my hip so when i'm in like a bikini from the front it's just i'm never and i even went to the trainer and i was like how can i have like a little indent and they're like your body's just not made that way yeah so like i'm just it's better than knowing your body could be that way and just never getting there yeah right like i've tried everything i'm not gonna have a little baby waistline unless i

kim kardashian myself at the met gal in that corset like it's not gonna happen you gotta get like a rib but it does really bother me because i i am a thin person and from the front no matter how thin i get i'm always the same shape and then i have to be like over the show anyway you i think me you do a good job for dressing for your body though like you have amazing legs and you're super thin and so you dress correctly for your body well i've started wearing a very wide belt like on a lot of my tv dresses so it kind of gives me like the illusion of a cinch but yeah i really hate that about myself if you got a boob job if you would notice i think i would look really good with a boob job i've actually thought about it i was anti-boob job for so long my mom had a boob

job and then she was like you should get a boob job and i was like i would never um and then like dancing for it for like a later in life i know but did you getting a new body like halfway through your life it sounds amazing and a new face but like now the boob jobs are so beautiful boobs i think i think i swear to god they're called bunny gummy bears i don't think they're called gummy bear i don't think you go into the boot place they're like all right you want the gummy bear? Do they feel like a gummy bear? Why would I have made that up? I've got a tear drop. Anyway, I could get a boob job, but I'm not. So you're insecure about your body. I'm insecure about my flatness of that. I'm very insecure about my janky fake teeth.

Why don't you just get them? I know. Can't you get a new veneer? The problem is I've been so traumatized that the thought of them pulling these teeth out and putting a new beautiful set in is so traumatic because I've been through it like five times now and, like, I keep knocking them out. I'm like, if they're in there and they're staying, I'm just not going to move them. Okay. Okay, by the way, gummy bear boob job is a real thing.

It is? What is it? I don't know. I can't, like, read through it now, but it exists. It's a thing. But the thing that you'd be surprised to hear that I'm insecure about personally is that I do actually care when I can tell people are mad at me

or talking about me behind my back. For real? Yes. Like, I know you guys don't think I care, but I do well we don't talk about you behind your back no no I know I wasn't saying it for you but like I'm like I don't care what anyone thinks I I have learned to not care but like and it's actually not so much in business but like the other day I went in neighbor jail because I cut down a tree in my neighbor's yard that was on my yard falling onto my yard but it started in his

yard and then he yelled at me and then like I couldn't not stop thinking about it for like two straight and i felt so bad and i was like oh he thinks i'm a bad person like that really hurt my feelings wow okay feeling not what i would have expected yeah and i do like not like it when i can tell that people are like kelty what a dick you know yeah you know you don't i have to be a dick yeah you don't have to be a dick you know then people won't call you a dick they probably still will because even like my good like when i'm like be careful kelty you're still offending somebody somewhere yeah but i hate that because i want to be a nice person you are a nice person do you want to hear what i'm insecure about yeah so i think i realize something about myself that's

very important i have a trigger and it's i like to think of myself as a reformed mean girl so like everybody comes to these live shows and they're like becca oh my god i'm a becca because i'm such a bitch and i'm so mean to people and i'm like or i'm a mean girl and i'm like here's the thing if we go back in the hours and hours and hours of content of the lady gang usually i'm just a bitch about myself a bitch about like certain things or like types of people but i never truly target anybody in particular and if i have a one-on-one interaction with someone 99 of the time i'm really nice to them and i wouldn't walk away and talk shit about them like that to me is a mean girl, someone who talks a lot of shit or gossips or like, I don't know, just like

petty behavior. So like Zach the other day was telling me I was being a mean girl because I was screenshotting an Instagram of someone that I don't know. Yeah. But my friend and I have this running joke about like specific types of content on Instagram. And when people do certain types of things, we don't even know this person. It's just an example of things we hate about Instagram. So I'm not targeting.

I don't know this person. I don't know anybody who knows this person. Right. I'm not targeting her. It's very general. So is that like a mean girl thing to do? No, you're like a groupie mean girl. Like you hate particular groups.

Yes, but I'll never target. But you don't target an actual human. No. And that's also something that everybody does. And men, I think, see it as being catty. However, it's just something that women do. when they're just talking to their friends we love shit talking in general

like that I agree that it's different if you're specifically targeting a certain person like I hate Jenny here's all the things I hate about Jenny or like did you hear Jenny's husband cheating on her those are words that don't come out of my mouth

I don't stir the pot I don't like for me I'm very insecure I get very insecure and I lose sleep over it if like people think that I'm coming from that place. So at live shows from now on, girls, please don't say you're a Becca because you're a mean girl. I feel like Kelty's way meaner than me. Yes, and she wouldn't be wrong.

I'm obviously insecure about my looks. I have severe body and face dysmorphia. This is nothing new i won't get into that but i i have a little insecurity within the lady gang oh god because this really only came out when we're doing lady gang tv because when we do the podcast it's super casual it's really low pressured but when we're put in a situation where we had to perform i'm not in the entertainment industry i am not competitive in nature with professional kind of stuff so me being put in a high pressure situation where I had to basically like put on an extended version of myself to try to impress a group of people that I don't know yeah that's where I felt insecure because I'm not as outgoing as you two when it comes to that so I always felt like lesser

than in a sense because it was very it was a I was like a fish out in the water I get that it was hard. That was a really hard experience. I'm super grateful for it, but it was very challenging because, and you weren't alone in that. You know, what's so crazy is that every taping I would walk away and just be like, I don't feel like my best self. Oh my God. I really bawled my eyes out. Like probably more than half of the times. Yeah. It was not, it's that's not where I shined. I don't think yeah it's hard it's like a really hard place to live because it's also you're being critiqued on who you are versus like if you go do something on tv that's scripted and you're playing a character people can talk about your ugly face but they can't be like she's an ugly

person on the inside but after lady gang tv people definitely walked away being like she's ugly on the inside yeah well what are you thinking about what do you what are you stopping yourself no it was really it was honestly it was really hard it was really hard because i know you would stay over my house the night before and i could like just see the dread in your face and it's like it's really hard when you don't see yourself the way other people see you and so it's like that's that's what we need friends for in our lives like i think like more than husbands or boyfriends or lovers or whatever but like it's just like when your friends find the courage to like stand up to you and tell you something like your guy's a moron or like you are better than you think you are

you're prettier than you think you are you like have to open your ears and like take that in because it's like that whole time i was like i just wish jack could see herself the way that i see her which is like the ultimate cool girl who's so beautiful who's like face looks perfect on can't like you know what i mean it's like but like you could not see that you had like blinders on for your own goodness yeah which is so crazy well that's what being under a microscope does very few people rise to that occasion yeah most people crumble which is why people who live their lives in front of a camera are normally crazy psychos yeah like yeah we've talked about a million times but it probably takes a certain level of crazy to be okay with that and to thrive

in that like that is a soul it's soul crushing that's how i like the experience was soul crushing it's soul crushing it really is it can be very it's not what people think it is you don't go to work and you don't go on set and have people fluff you up and tell you you're amazing you're basically fighting an uphill battle the whole time the entire time people are telling you what you're doing wrong not what you're doing right granted it's like you know part of being an adult like no one's gonna give you the trophy but that's it's extra hard when what's what's weird about it Is they give you the trophy all the way up until it's like because their jobs are on the line. Like we got the trophy because it's like everyone's excited.

Everybody's pumped. They want us. It's like they've courted us where they got us. And then it's it's like what I did with Zach. Right. I gave him the trophy and then we got married. I'm like, you should fix these things. I'm not sinking on this ship with you.

Bye. Yeah. No, it is really, it's a real, and then I'm like, now I'm thinking like, why am I good at that? Like, am I insane? But you're, I mean, you guys both have like over 10 years of experience in that world. You also have a thicker skin than most people. Way thicker skin.

Right. Like I'll take a, cause obviously I'm not used to that kind of critique at all to begin with. So it's like, I'll take it. I'll think about it like every day until the day I die. But you're the best critique taker I've ever met in my entire life. It's like water off a duck's back. You're just like, okay, all right, fix it and move on.

And you don't, I mean, maybe you do think about it again. Do you think it's because that's your mom? Like your mom kind of always told you, not that she's horrible, but like. No, no, no. Yeah. She critiqued you? I think it's a mix of growing up in the way that I did. My brother was in trouble a lot when I was young.

He was into drugs and was arrested. And then he was in this horrible accident and like spent all of my growing up years like being sort of like this. The screw up. not a problem child, but like he had a lot of problems, whether they were his own doing or after this accident, like a lot of energy in our family went into taking care of him. And so I think I felt like I needed to be this like perfect version that didn't rock the boat at all. And then I think we're talking about like confidence. Like, I think that my mindset has always been

to prove everyone wrong. Like I knew that everyone was doubting me. Like I know when I walk in a room no one's like she's the best and the prettiest and the greatest but i'm like i'm gonna prove to you that i can win anyways right and that's just i don't know i don't know where it comes from it's like i think my mom was hard she'll be like you need a spray tan you need this like don't bite your nails don't you know but i don't know like i don't think your mom probably was like go brush your teeth becca like my mom yeah my mom never really told me that i looked hideous when i did yeah okay oh my god my mom should have for sure definitely should have drag me out of that tanning bed right like yeah there's so many things but I mean I don't know

there there's just like something to be said for I go ahead I was just gonna say I really like that the thing that I the thing I like the most about myself is my resilience yeah like I love that about myself I love that like I have learned that like it can bug me for a day and I wake up the next day and like it's gone same and i've learned how to like apologize well and i think it's like the greatest service of my life especially in the last like five years i think i've become really good at being aware realizing i've hurt someone going to them being sincere and being like i am so sorry like let me fix this for you and then being able to be like all right you learned you can move on and not like holding it with me like you're not holding on a girl don't

beat yourself up i don't beat myself up i should probably beat myself up a little more but maybe just sometimes maybe sometimes like with the emails yes she recently made someone cry with an email yeah and that was because she went back on the rule that we made the rule that is i broke the rule if you are heated and you're you're festering you have to run it by us and then maybe sleep on it before you send an email yeah there have been several emails sent since that we've softened the edges of and we did a great job we did a great job and then the one slip up But you did make somebody cry. Can we actually, I think this is a very good thing that we discovered through this trial

and tribulation. Yeah. So Kelty sent an email. It was very direct, slightly rude, a little mean, aggressive, a little mean, a little abusive. Depending on who you ask. It was a mean email. So she sent this email.

I was like, oh. She sends this email and I am copied on it so I read it and I take a moment and I'm like how do I explain like what why does this feel so wrong what is it that's happening and I took a moment and then I came to the conclusion that so we have the conversation in the lady gang all the time about how when women are direct and ask for what they want or demand certain things we're looked at as being bitches. When men do the same thing, they're looked at as being strong and direct and knowing what they want and they get celebrated. But we, Kelty, has sort of taken that and she's like, I don't care if people call me a bitch, which is great because most of the time you are direct. And if you were a dude, you'd be seen as being very direct and on your shit and no one would think you were mean. But then I kind of use it as a crutch. She used it as a crutch. And when I was reading the email, I thought to myself, if a man had sent this email, that guy would literally be told that he was verbally abusive.

In HR. He would be in HR. He would probably get into major trouble because when it comes from a man, it's also seen as more aggressive. So it's like we need to swing the pendulum just slightly more center. her and if now when kelty sends an email she has to say if a man sent this email would he be seen as abusive aggressive inappropriate well i think that there is i mean there are so many powerful qualities of women in general and to bring a few of those back into the fold is okay it's good it's good to have like connection and emotion and yes empathy and stuff while communicating yeah

and it's good you now know now you have to proofread it and be like if i were a dude would somebody try to get me fired and the answer is often yes it is but good for you for trying to you know you have to always you have to over correct you gotta try also you gotta yeah you gotta try you won't know what happens is it's like i'm a little bit like a girl on a diet right Like I, I go like, I go three months, I go three months and I eat perfectly. And then I had a binge day and the binge day was like my treat day where I got to like act however I wanted. And then instantly, as soon as I sent it, I was like, Ooh, that was some like Kelty

2.0. That wasn't Kelty 4.0. That wasn't up to the level in which I want to live my life. I knew it as soon as I sent it was like smoking crack. But that's the thing. Usually I think people with that kind of a personality don't have the self-awareness that you have that you've gained to feel that like immediate, like right away. I walked into that room. I sent it in this room. I walked into that room. I turned to Chelsea and I said,

I just sent a very mean email. Like I knew it was the wrong thing to do. Like I went back and my ex-boyfriend who was with someone else, Jack. Just kidding. Right. Yeah. On that topic, it's the end of the show. We have to go. But, um, happy Thanksgiving, everybody. If you so Celebrate American Thanksgiving And try not to be so insecure Ya bitch We weren't here for a long time We're here for an insecure time

Thanks for listening And make sure to rate and review this podcast Wherever you get your podcasts We have new episodes of Lady Gang every Tuesday and Thursday Follow us on social media At the Lady Gang Follow us personally at Kelty Most importantly at Becca

And at Jack Bannick The Lady Gang Network is produced by Will Sterling, Steve Delamater kirsten woodward and elizabeth baquet thanks for rating and reviewing wherever you get your podcasts and tune in for new episodes every single week