LadyGang - LG QUICKIE: Keltie & Her Sister From Another Canadian Mister Kaitlyn Bristowe!

Episode Date: June 13, 2019

Join the one-on-one spectacular between Keltie and her good-friend-turned-Bachelorette and podcast host behind Off The Vine for some real talk about life, love, and Ramen Noodle. Follow the podcast on Instagram @theladygang and email Jac, Becca and Keltie at [e-mail]! And check out the TV show page's official page @ladygangtv! Check out new episodes of the LGTV show every Sunday at 11:00 only on E  And thank you to today's sponsors:  Amazon = Go to Amazon.com/shop/ladygang to find their favorite products while keeping the podcast FREE!   ScentBird = Go to Scentbird.com/LADYGANG and use promo code LADYGANG for 50% off your first month  Dole = Find Dole Crafted Smoothie Blends & Dole Acai Bowls in the frozen section See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey guys, the following podcast is a Lady Gang Network and Podcast One production, which means it's going to be awesome. It's time for a quickie. Podcast One presents the Lady Gang, the Hollywood girl posse with Lady Gang Quickie. Here's Kelty Knight, Becca Tobin, and Jack Vanek. Let's make this quick. Hello, hello, hello, and welcome to Lady Gang. This is a special edition of the Lady Gang Quickie.

I'm out of breath. Why is that? Because you're eating biscuits and you were chasing my dog around. I'm in Nashville. It's Mick Kelty solo, the way it was meant to be. Becca and Jack are in LA. They're missing out. You're like NSYNC Justin Timberlake.

I am now the Beyonce for real. Yeah. Screw the lady gang. So I'm in Nashville and we're a little tipsy because we just recorded one of Caitlin's podcasts for Off the Vine. And we all know we drank wine on that one. Well, we drank an entire bottle of rosé, and now she's drinking red. Oh, not an entire bottle, but most...

Nope, nope. Just a little splash. Anyway, this is the Lady Gang Podcast. If this is your first podcast you've ever listened to, definitely don't listen to this one. Take a break, go back, listen to one with the three of us. Wait, I'm insulted! Listen to one of the three of us, and then come back. Listen to Caitlin like...

Circle back. Like season one. No one's going to start with solo Kelty of a quickie. No. They might. I'm not saying that. When they see your name, they might be like, oh, I'm a Caitlyn fan. And then this is not a real representation of the Lady Gang podcast.

No, because everyone knows if they're a Caitlyn fan, they're a Kelty fan because they listen to us both. Okay. Anyway, we're here and we're doing, oh my God, we're doing a quickie because we want to introduce you to the world. Ramen Noodle. Ramen Noodle. Ramen Noodle, Caitlyn's new dog, rescue dog, is sitting here licking his paw.

Hey! Diligently. Is your paw okay, baby? don't lick your paw you know what i think that paw bothers him yeah because he just had surgery on it no he had surgery on his back and i saw in a picture he was holding up his paw oh so he might have but he's going to the vet tomorrow okay ramen noodle is freaking adorable and caitlin is hopeless as a dog mom trying to train ramen noodle she made the beginner mistake of taking him to a new place to pee yeah everyone knows you take the dog back to the place they peed before they smell the

pee then they pee there what's wrong with me i thought i was better than you know what i it's i got my old dog when he was nine he was done so i i didn't get the training part no but i'll help you caitlin thank you okay so we're here with caitlin at her house um i'm gonna describe it to you it is massive it's a big old mansion so thank you for listening to off the vine the podcast got a big old house her podcast room is so zhuzhy it's black lacquer crystal knobs but you have to also understand that we're in nashville and when i bought it was not nashville okay so right so nashville's fancy now nashville that's and i will still do well now because i bought the house before right yeah like you could sell it for millions no kelty fixer-upper it's

not a fixer-upper but it's close yeah your house is in better condition and you've lived here for five minutes yeah then my house that i've owned for many years right but you knew that going into it right yeah oh do you want to talk all canadian on this my oh yeah my host has good bones yeah and and when the bones are good the rest don't matter that's what mary morris says oh yeah it's true yeah oh yeah you know well keaton and i of course you guys know we grew up together in canada our moms are friends uh and uh now we're here i turned a french canadian yeah you always switch accents okay so on this lady and quickie we're gonna talk about what you're a lot of your things about caitlin so oh okay what is your biggest fear caitlin i'll eat the biscuit my biggest fear

is somebody falling out of love with me well that already happened about eight times yeah well wait so i have a question before sean give us a love life who is your love you had a hockey player yeah you had a barista a barista did you just make that up didn't you have a guy in vancouver there's a barista no waiter he was a ballet dancer oh oops and he had meningitis twice and lost his hearing and he was deaf and he had a cochlear implant and he could hear only electrically like electric sounds and he was it still is a magnificent dancer kai glover oh i want to ask you something now about that okay have you ever had better sex than you had with a dancer yeah oh i think when you have sex with a dancer it's the best dance it's the like a male dancer

is amazing really because i well oh sorry kai what's his name kai and sorry kai i to be honest i mean i was like 20 and i don't even know if we were you know you weren't doing it really yeah okay i'm almost 30 i'm 34 in like two weeks you're so old no i don't feel old at all i just don't remember my 20s okay okay so then you dated the dancer yeah you date a hockey player yes and that was serious so serious we looked at rings i moved to germany he was a hockey player so i had to move for him and that's when i realized that i'd completely lost myself and that i was supposed to do things i was like i am too much of a force i need to do things for my own i need to be this independent person otherwise i was honestly having out-of-body experiences where i would look at

myself and be like who is this person you're lost know her you're a skeleton of yourself and you're not a healthy person in this relationship and thank god that they broke up with me thank god because i was too weak at that time in my life to break up with them and what oh ramen you sweet angel god damn it ramen and your cuteness i'm obsessed i'm so cute okay you're so lucky all right next question how much of that hair is real this yeah please feel is it all real kelty no i am no so no i am so honestly no i am so flattered that you think any of this is fake i have the finest thinnest hair in the world beautiful and i'm trying so hard to just not so beautiful so beautiful so beautiful girl you look so good i love you okay what is the dream

that you secretly dream that you would never tell anyone but you hope it happens oh wait i feel like i should have been prepped for this interview no okay the dream that i dream that i secretly wish would happen um like for me i'll give you a minute please give me an example like i dream of the day the paparazzi is just waiting outside and i don't have to call them myself that is my nightmare that is my nightmare you don't want the paparazzi no i walked in today to get ramen and i came to paparazzi there i don't know but i don't know if there is paparazzi in nashville i know there used to be and maybe there's because cmas but i walked in and she goes are you um picking up a dog and i was like yeah and she goes do you have visitors and i went what

do you mean and she was like well i got a call saying someone notable is that the word notable sure yeah yeah yeah was coming in to get a dog and that there might be media waiting for you because of their social media and i was like oh and i started feeling sick to my stomach i wanted to poop i want my dream get out a back door i didn't want because i was like oh my god no i can't handle that so no that's i mean everyone's allowed to have different dreams yeah that's definitely not mine okay what's your dream my dream would to be to live on an island of nobody and have nobody and still be able to have my platform i know to thing but i feel like i feel like i disappoint people when they see me in person because i feel like everybody thinks i'm

this big personality which i am but you're also an introvert i'm an introvert and i don't like disappointing people and i feel um anxiety yep and if i snap he just stops good boy um i feel anxiety yeah and pressure to to be somebody you want to be off the vine in real life but you can't be off the vine all the time right and that and it's not saying that's not who i am because this is me yeah it's just part of you part of me when i'm comfortable and in my own home and yeah you know talking to judging yeah yeah so my dream would be to live on an island with ramen noodle and still have a platform to inspire people the lady gang okay do you think that jason and you will get married 100 you think he's your guy i have never been more confident about anything in

my life now will you have a big wedding and have like the chris harrison come and do it um okay so i can see you getting married in mexico my i've had this conversation with jason and he goes here's where we're going to disagree because he wants it to be like you know family friends yeah everybody big party yeah and i'm like i would go to vegas and dress up in a funny costume and marry you yeah i would go to the courthouse and then i could have a big party fine but right i've never the person that's dreamt about my wedding yeah but i would do that if that meant something to him i was he was like i would love to get married in buffalo i'm like cool let's do it i don't care what's in buffalo that's very strong oh weird okay well it's cold there a lot so

so is it in alberta why don't you get married at the mutah conservatory in edmonton alberta caitlin is that you know the mutah conservatory building it's the triangle building in edmonton yeah the pink one it's the oh the green it's green it's not pink when is it green it's glass it's the mutart conservatory i can't even see that's where people get married in the desert room come on caitlin i don't know there's no way to get married in leduc i'll tell you about that i know 100 you're not having that wedding in leduc but if you did it would be the biggest thing since oil which is pretty big they're like we invented oil and caitlin bristow leduc was an answer on jeopardy one time for i believe it for oil yeah okay so jason is the guy well i

don't even have a doubt of my mind okay i'm renewing my vows this christmas with chris so romantic but here's the thing okay i need to ask the lady gang and i want to ask you okay do you think it's cheesy if i like rent a dress to wear in the photos or like get given a dress or should i buy a dress are you nuts i want to wear like you're a content creator you're an instagram influencer thank you caitlin wait i'm going to change my headline on instagram to instagram influencer caitlin bristow quoted by but you why would you not why would you not do a dress yeah okay i just didn't know it was cheesy to be like oh my god i got this dress no for okay whatever you want i can't wait to remarry chris because when the first time i we

got married i said my vows and it was like i meant all of them yeah but it's like you know you're gonna be saying them in front of your mom and dad you know what i mean so you don't really know what to say my new vows like when it's just me and him eloping like renewing the vows it's gonna be like baby every day i'm gonna do good like it's gonna be and i'm gonna be in the back being like oh yeah oh yeah okay and then i'm gonna be like yeah i'm gonna cook you one meal a week oh yeah you're not gonna know what to do with it yeah oh yeah i'm gonna put away your underwear when the lawn when the maid does the laundry yeah she leaves on the end of the bed oh then it's in your drawer hey yeah oh yeah i'm gonna text you in the middle of the afternoon and ask you if you

paid the electricity bill it's gonna be so good it's gonna be so real it's gonna be so real like my vows like vows number one i was like right uh well it's gonna be six years but we've been together 10 years oh yeah okay so i you know our first vows were like i'm gonna believe in you and no one believes in you but like now i'm like oh i'm not gonna say anything about the stench coming out of the bathroom after you leave i don't believe in you anymore oh you're gonna have adult acne and i'm not gonna care oh yeah you know what i mean like we can all see you're losing your hair but i'm not gonna bring it up hey you know the most real valve don't you think that is so 2019 of you i'll be like i can really tell by the broken capillaries in your nose that you're

getting old but i love you anyway your balls are sagging but i don't care i'm still gonna suck them anyways oh yeah i'm not gonna suck a ball oh you suck a ball i mean i would if it made him happy oh god no not thank you yeah i might be just lying okay you're like oh i sound cool i suck balls caitlin if you want to lie to sound cool don't do it about just crotums you know what i immediately oh yeah she loves to suck a ball oh no that's gonna get me in some nasty headlines again okay so what would your if you have a real stagram okay what would your real vows to gram be i'll do yours oh okay oh yeah oh you're oh you're doing the background this is for jason okay oh you have better eyebrows than me oh yeah i don't care no we don't but i

kind of care and where do you get them provided oh yeah honey lady deserves a tip oh those microbladed babe oh oh yeah okay next okay you left the toilet seat up a few times every time first 48 48 hours that we lived together oh yeah not gonna lie it threw me off threw me off wasn't sure about you but i'm still gonna take you to the wedding you snore oh oh shit really snore a lot it's a problem and sometimes i find it hot oh a sexual snore yeah yeah because i'm like oh he is at peace this guy does not have problems can we get you a blue breathe right strip honey that's sponsored baby he's so stable that he snores because he he does not he's in rem baby you're so stable you snore like you're in rem oh you get you get so deep in your sleep you're in rem

it's so hot the deepest sleeper of all time you know you got a retirement fund baby oh yeah 401k 401k so hot yeah okay what's next oh yeah yep there it is and use more uh hair product than i do oh yeah oh yeah you also have more hair than i do oh yeah it's so good there it is wait i was supposed to do a break for our commercials oh break it okay this is our break okay when we come back caitlin's gonna answer one final question oh yeah the lady gang we're back just like that we're back oh yeah okay question ramen ramen is okay i have a question so the girls always make fun of me because no matter where i go in life i always care what my exes think like my ex kevin duff from high school

who lives in a van will like hear what he thinks yeah i'm like still posting being like i don't live in a van well no i'm just like i'm great like i turned out awesome yeah okay do you care what dancer german i don't care what dancer thinks because i think he's like awesome i think he's the sweetest person and he's probably so happy for me is there any part of you that like getting ramen noodle you're like i hope everyone in the world sees that i'm happy with a new dog um i want to answer this really genuinely like i don't want to say something that's just trying to be like i should say this because it's right yeah i have always since i was little wanted a golden yeah a golden was something that attracted me to sean because he had it i was like

that's so hot he is a golden retriever that's my dream dog fast forward i always wanted my own that loved me that i rescued yeah so i don't feel like i did it necessarily to for any um you know malicious reasons yeah but does a tiny part of me think no you know what i don't you don't uh-uh i'm trying to be really honest yeah no you don't feel it no because you've been to therapy yes and because i genuinely want him to be happy yeah even if he hurt me even if he did me wrong even if deep down in my soul i'm like i want good things for him yeah even if i in my head i'm like no don't want good things for him i really do yeah but that's because you're canadian my friend christina is like you know the problem with you you're canadian you want the best for people

she's like if you could be a little more american you would be a little more savage and i was like i'm hardcore in business yeah but like at the bottom of my gut if you go all the way down to my uterus yeah i'm like i want the best for you i do that's hard like sometimes i just want to give him a hug and be like i hope you're well yeah hope you're okay yeah what do you think nudes oh my god he's like noodle the podcast dog noodle what do you think about your mom oh my god his side eye is so aggressive he's the best side eye of all time he's got a sass to him he's like he's like are you awake right now i think he's been through such hard times yeah he's like do i trust you he's like i'm not sure about you okay well caitlin you're fabulous thank you for being on

this quickie i don't remember what we talked it's so quick god i hate quickies no it's great well usually but i'm like i want to talk more you're like it's three o'clock in the morning because someone's off to work tomorrow um caitlin how many shows do you have now off the vine grape therapy great therapy and then call it out drunk down yeah three a week yeah so much content it's a lot and i feel like i'm boring people so i asked i'm like do you guys like this or no should we just do one yeah and people seem to like it because they're all different yeah yeah okay my drunk dolls are like yuck cookies yeah quickies yeah yeah drunk tell quick yeah we'll do drunk okay bye uh okay wait so sorry jack and becca you missed out on our friend caitlin and

ramen the noodle yeah love you guys okay uh we weren't here for a long time but we're here for a good time. That's our sign-off on Thursdays. That was my sister's graduation song. I'm here for a good time. Not for a long time. So have a good time. The sun is gonna shine every day. Is that how you do it?

That escalated quickly. Hey guys, thanks so much for listening to The Lady Gang. You can subscribe if you love the show and check out new episodes every Tuesday and Thursday on Podcast One or wherever you get your favorite podcasts. Follow us on social at TheLadyGang or follow us personally at Kelty, at Becca, at JackBannock. And head on over to our website, TheLadyGang.com, to ask us a question, sign up for our newsletter,

or buy all the cute Lady Gang merch you see us wearing. Thanks for listening, and we'll see you next Tuesday.