LadyGang - LG QUICKIE: Keltie’s 40 Things Before 40

Episode Date: January 27, 2022

It’s Keltie’s birthday and even though she’s turning 40, please refer to her as “30’s.” Her hair is the best it’s even been, she has legs for days and to celebrate she’s sharing the 40 things things she wished she'd known before 40. Plus, make sure you listen to the end, there’s a special snack.  Check out our amazing sponsors!!! obé Fitness: Use code LADYGANG to get a WHOLE MONTH FREE at obefitness.com  ThirdLove: Get 20% off your first order at ThirdLove.com/ladygang  Progressive: Take one small step today and get a quote at Progressive.com See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Attention, attention, all the things you've been swooning after on theladygang.com, all of our clothing and beautiful merch, there's a huge warehouse sale happening right now. It's not going to last long, but go over to shop.theladygang.com and you're going to find some epic things like you can get a velvet dress for $39, you can get a hat for $10, the Swacket is $99, head over there, there's so much greatness and you know what? You're welcome. it's time for a quickie podcast one presents the lady gang the hollywood girl posse with lady gang quickie here's kelty knight becca tobin and jack vanek let's make this quick

hello hello hello welcome to lady gang quickie i'm becca here with jack and kelty but what i should have said was hola hola hola because we're celebrating our almost fluent spanish speaking today and by almost fluent i mean not really i'm just kidding you um excelled at all in with the spanish learning like in the past year you haven't actually talked about it as much as i would assume you would for somebody that is like this is your hobby because she fell off um voy a voy a habla Español mucho con Mariana, con Kristen, con... You're practicing with Mariana and Kristen? Yeah.

Kristen DeCesar? Mm-hmm. She speaks Spanish? Mm-hmm. She's my Spanish teacher. Oh, my God. That's incredible. She was.

Now I'm using apps. um yo tengo uh um es estudiar espanol uh cada dia on mi telefono oh i saw your instagram ad si it looks cool so here's the truth i am using my spanish and i'm studying it every day but native speakers of Spanish speak very quickly. Like I'm, I'm basically a baby toddler. I'm a three-year-old. And so it's really difficult. I'm finding it really difficult to like do Spanish because when I talk Spanish with other people or I'm hearing Spanish, they go so fast. I can only hear like, well, I can pick out one word or two words. So the people that I'm good with speaking at, like the guy that made my cabin speak Spanish. And so I speak with

him and he knows that I'm learning. So he speaks super slow and super simple, but you kind of need like idiot level spanish so um but i am studying and it's going to be a big year well i'm proud of you for you i'm very proud of you learning a skill as an adult is really hard a skill like that learning a language as an adult is almost impossible so language it's literally instrument um i have i was gonna say in spanish and then i got exhausted i have enough spanish where i can basically say everything i need to say in a broken terrible probably poorly grammatical way that's okay it's better than better than what i can most people i've like i know how to say like i studied i spoke i have i want i i need you know i don't like i like i know the days of the week i know

the numbers like the pretty much that's gets you by so congratulations thanks more importantly it's my birthday oh god how are you feeling i feel great the big one the big one i've been i am no longer 30s i am now 40s however wait you know this is so great because 30s was like our lady gang brand so now we can expand into 40s that's a whole new territory that i'm so excited about but i do want to let you know that until i'm 42 i'm still going to be calling myself 30s because I believe that thirties go into early forties. No, because I was twenties until I was 32. Okay. That's fine. Whatever, whatever makes you feel better. Nobody, I, I actually kind of want to stop altogether knowing or telling anyone's age. Well, age is a, age is a con time

is a concept. So age doesn't exist. We're just, we're all existing in a weird plane and in a, In another dimension, time is not real and it's all just one thing. So what if, what if when people ask me how old I am, I said, I'm on my Saturn return or I'm post Saturn return, post Saturn, post Saturn return. Cause it's like your late twenties is when that happens for most people. Yeah. Well, Saturn return. That's great.

And then it's like, you can say that for the rest of your life. I mean, I love this. I think we're just ushering in the sexy mature era. Like it's been coming and now it's officially here. And there are things that I feel very young and hopeful. And like, I feel like I'm not falling apart. Like I have, I feel like I've kept my face nice. I think my hair is the best it's ever been in my life. Like I feel confident. I feel, um, like my heart and my soul, even though I like had the biggest cup of all time, which I will tell you offline yesterday. But, um, my, the way I exist in the world, I feel like I'm growing and getting better

and better. Now there are some things that are gone to shit at 40. The neck is out. My feet arthritis is so bad. It wakes me up every night if I don't have CBD oil on it. Like my hips, um, just like my, do you actually have a real arthritis? Yeah. I have like, you know, arthritis is like when there's no like lubrication between your joints.

Yeah. And I think growing up as a dancer, I don't know if you have this at all, Becca, but like my foot joints are just like, anyway, mine are, I mean, we'll see. Stay tuned. I'm sure diet your entire life. Probably. The whole thing is like a diet coke, osteoporosis, whatever, but I feel really happy and I actually no nutrients at all going in that body.

Nope. um i prepared something really special for you guys for this 40th birthday episode because i wanted to say i've prepared something very special for myself i thought you were too well it is for myself it is for myself but it's it's for you and it's for everyone out there so you know how glamour magazine has that like 30 things i wish i knew before i turned 30 yeah i have made a 40 things i wish i knew before i turned 40 i love this today on the podcast wow I love this. And you're going to talk about them as I read them. Okay. I love it. So I've been putting this together for about six months and some of them are silly and some of them are

serious, but, um, I just, I wanted to usher in 40. Like, so I wrote this whole essay that's coming out in our book about that. I do not want to be 40 and I'm talking all about it, but I'm going to say now here that it's here, I feel honored to age. I feel honored to get old. I feel like so many of my friends have passed. Like I've had friends pass away. I've had family members pass away. We've had people have horrible things happen to them. Like I'm here. I'm happy. I'm healthy. I'm safe. And like, that's a blessing. So all the neck jokes and stuff, like I do feel happy to be here on earth at 40. I love that. Okay. Here we go. 40 things I wish I knew before I turned 40. You can spend endless amounts of money keeping your face young, but your neck

will always tell the truth. What about if I've been using my same skincare on my neck? Is there, it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. I have used the same skincare on my neck and Vivace's and Botox. And like, I, it's the number one thing I see when I look in the mirror, it's like wrinkly old lady neck. I'm going to Diane Keaton. It's going to be turtlenecks in the summer pretty soon, but um okay number two enjoy your parents while they're young by the time you turn 40 you will have missed out on their best years dark sorry i just spent a lot of my 20s like wanting to be so independent and avoiding my family and i wish i had spent more time like taking a cruise with that's what cam's song is about yeah redwood tree she's like you saw my parents grow old

like she was out and that tree watched her parents it's so sad it's heartbreaking it makes me cry um number three enjoy your natural hair color while you can oh yep until the grays so yeah because i was always like oh i don't have gray hair so like i could let my root grow out and i could like have that like lived in blonde that you just grow for six months and then whatever but now i'm at the point where as soon as the inch of roots come out it's like you can see the line of demarcation of the gray yes and that's it sucks yeah it's not great not looking forward to it um okay being popular and having tons of friends is overrated yeah yeah this is what this one's for the lady gang i wish i knew to lean into your lean into your crazy years stop worrying about

what you're supposed to do and what you're not supposed to do party as hard as you can sleep with as many people as you can live it up don't try to win the race to maturity it's not that fun when you get there oh yeah amen to that one jesus so true maybe party hard but be careful i mean party hard reasonably party hard reasonably drinking no unless you have an addictive personality and then maybe skip don't party that hard when just like go do it go be messy go live go don't try to act like you have your shit together or you're like the youngest ceo in america like nobody gets an award for that you know who's sad 30 under 30 people i bet they're sad it is i like i the more the older i get the more that i realize i'm like your 20s i know we're

talking about up into your 40s but like your 20s are literally the time to everything up like you need to like experience and get up so many times unless you work for the lady gang unless you work for the lady gang which is work 14 hours a day and never sleep i just saw an article that's like watch out everyone gen z's are entering the workforce oh my god okay hold on um okay next max out your 401k uh with whatever company at whatever time you can every time um i started maxing out my 401k when i was a rockette we had a rockette 401k which was like bananas hilarious but i i think at the at the time we made about forty thousand dollars and i think it was like 16 or 17 or $1,800 was like the contribution, but you were like, Oh, like I really need that money,

you know? Um, but I put it away. And then over the 20 years that it's been sitting there, it's been like such a good investment. So please try to do that. Absolutely. Um, little money thing. Um, next never buy anything that you couldn't pay for in cash. So besides your house and your car, I believe that you should never put anything on your credit card where you couldn't like take it out of your debit card too right and that's a there's there's some quote that jared's been saying recently it's like never buy something once you can't buy twice same kind of an idea what never buy something once can you explain that like if you if you only have i mean i've done this i had eleven hundred dollars to my name in my 20s and i spent

a thousand dollars on a plane ticket like i couldn't buy it twice right you can only buy i see okay got it okay got it like so if you're like okay got it i'm like kelty explained it because i'm like i don't really know i was gonna call jared over to explain it i'm like uh is that what he means yeah it's like if you buy if you buy a gucci bag yeah it better not be the last two thousand dollars you have left in your account yeah right exactly um are you guys enjoying this yes i am very much okay every single thing that you do to your body will eventually come back and haunt you i mean those things like in what way like uh belly button piercing it does

your belly button piercing your bad tattoo your hair bleach like if you when they tell you not to look at the sun and you look at the sun all the time your retinas will burn you won't be able to see color unless you're sun gazing true either in the last 10 minutes of the day it's how some people get their sustenance when they don't eat food oh wow oh shit this one's i'm not i'm voting no on that one 39 things i wish i learned before i turned 40 um okay babies are harder to make than you think yep sort of yeah for some people for some i think that as i got closer to 40 less like every single person that we spent our 20s being like oh my god i hope i'm not pregnant like every a lot of those people were like oh i can't get

pregnant you know it's just hard well it's more like 30s yeah 30s yeah um okay uh learn to include your opinion in a group by asking your higher self what it wants as if it were another equally valid member and learn how to verbalize it can you repeat that that's a little deep like there's got to be a simpler way to say that basically like um like kind of what walter said on the obey quickie last week like treat yourself like your friend like oh okay you know like you learn to say your opinion and it's like we really can't do this guys because becca like she gets really upset and like i'm watching out for her because i'm carried about her but like be able to do that for yourself yeah hey i can't do that because but your thoughts are valid and you're able to say it

out loud i love that okay because i think sometimes we can do that for our friends or family members but it's harder to do for yourself you deserve that raise girl boss i mean i just think like unless you don't that was unless you don't if you're healthy you deserve grace always hands down straight yeah across the board overachiever but i think it's always good to ask because wherever you are whatever your company whether it's here at the lady gang or you work for amazon they have their budget too right so it's like it doesn't ever hurt you don't sit at your job for six years and be like i can't wait until they notice that i'm doing a good job and i get that raise like go out and get it and if they can't they can't but if they can

they won't unless you ask because here's the thing even if you don't get if you work your ass off and you ask for a raise and but it just so happens like the money's not available to you no one's judging you for asking for that raise like everybody agrees that you deserve the raise so it's like you're not going to ever embarrass yourself for asking for more even if it means you don't get it unless you're a slacker and you're asking for more well and it's like the worst thing that can happen is they say no and then you're literally in the same position as you were before you asked like they're not going to fire you for asking for a raise so i think that that there's no harm in asking but be careful who you're who's asking like you better be on your shit girl and

also have reasons why you deserve the raise yeah you don't come in empty-handed and be like i don't know, but give me the money. That was good advice we got from someone who came on the podcast that was like, I think it was Mr. Wonderful or something. Yeah. Like all the reasons, all the data, like show me the data. Yeah. Yeah. This episode of Lady Gang is brought to you by Obey Fitness. You know that I'm the biggest obeyer out there. I've been with this platform since the beginning. It has been the only thing that I've consistently been able to stay with for years. So head on over to obeyfitness.com. Use our code Lady Gang for one month free. That's obeyfitness.com use our code lady gang there's 28 minute classes there's 45 minute classes there's

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buy. The Lady Gang. This is one that I learned later in my 30s than I care to admit. The best thing to do in the middle of drama is nothing i think in my 20s when girl when my friends were fighting with each other when i was in relationship i would stay up all night waiting for the text and then text back and like patch my evil plan and i mean the best thing to do is to just do nothing like that it's the most cutthroat reaction it's the most it's the easiest way for everyone to move on, just do nothing. Cut them out. Wait it out. Wait it out. Pause. And that leads me to my next one, which could have been one, but I needed 40. Um, when you don't know what to do, pause. Yeah. Sometimes you don't take this advice. I know. That's why I'm, that's why I'm spilling it

when you're, yes, it's, it's kind of like the idea of having a night's sleep before replying to an email or like if something is really upsetting you like sleep on it come in with a clear mind and then proceed i was just i used to never pause yeah 365 now i don't pause like 10 times a year which i feel is most improved the word it's an improvement it is huge improvement recently heard a podcast that changed my fucking it you think i could remember who or what or when or why but i'm so old i can never important i have no idea what it was it was the idea of it was your first response or your first reaction is always your ego. So you get a text message and you're like, Oh, this is annoying. Yeah. That's your ego. So it's like taking the beat

and being like, okay, ego, you got your say. Like you can go away for a second and let me just take this in and take a moment. That to me was major. Cause I do receive a lot of text message throughout messages throughout the day where my ego is like, this is so annoying. It's not work related, but sometimes it probably is. Yeah. No, not really. Cause that's like, that's a mess. It's my, it's a job, you know, it's necessary, but sometimes you're like, I can't believe the nerve of this person. And then I'm like, Oh wait. And then you're better. And then you don't make the mistake of writing back and being a bitch. You're taking it personal. And then you're also on the defense it's like oh yeah bad combo totally true yeah I love that one okay next up is keep moving

every day any way you can it's a big ask it is a big ask and I think it's just doing the thing like when you're at the Ralph's that has an elevator take the stairs when you're at school take the stairs when you get home just stretch move your body like I'm looking at 40 year old body and I'm like man what would it be like had I kept my flexibility from being a dancer had I done more yoga have I done more stretching like I think I would feel better like I you know I just think moving every day it's so good for your mind and if you need to get inspired by that go back to last week's quickie with walter also walking is underrated i went for a walk this morning in the super crazy cold weather love walking i was just like it's so beautiful you put on a good

music you look at nature like it's very calming on your soul zach's biggest flaw his walk and flaw he does not like to walk what he does not want to go for a walk what nope nope that is so weird that's so strange my friend megan's husband won't either she's like he literally says he's gonna hire someone to walk me like a dog because he so doesn't want to have to go on walks with her what like what are you doing during these walks that make it so bad walking is like so innocuous like you live in a beautiful neighborhood hold on let me ask you don't like walk the dogs around the block i mean we will but it's like it's as if i'm asking him to go to the dentist that's so weird i'm gonna ask him i need an explanation on a hour long walk probably three

times a week if i could jared and i do it like at least like five times a week yeah if i could change anything about zach martin it would be that yeah that's a big one deal breaker he says he can't come here right now he's on the phone okay well zach we'll unpack this in another episode of lady gang biggest flaw huh who who hurt you as a child zach that you don't enjoy walking hand in hand strolling yeah nature um okay this one's gonna really hurt me spend more time taking photos of the people and places and things that you love instead of photos of yourself you're both yeah so here's the truth i actually do a really good job at this they just don't get posted on instagram that's good yeah see i do a very bad i don't know i i

do a really bad job of this to the point where i like have gone on amazing trips or my family like because i am a little more private about my family and i don't post them on instagram like we never sit down and just take pictures of ourselves and then i'm like well if someone remember my family passed away today like the great picture i have with my mom is from two years ago like i just saw her like why did we not take a picture um and then it's like people are like oh show me your old house show me your old renovation show me your first apartment in new york show me your first apartment in la and like i have not a single photo because i was just taking pictures of my outfits and my hair so just a thought um i got a polaroid camera for christmas and it's been

i mean it's so whatever but it's been so nice to like bring it to different moments and actually like capture a photo and have it physically with me because we take all these photos on our phone we post them on instagram but it's like everything gets lost in the shuffle that i really like having that kind of like physical remnant of memories hot tip midnight not a sound from the pavements. Are you singing Fianna Fáil? Cats. Cats. Alright, so the next thing is further to

further you on, Jack Vanek, with your Polaroid. Document your life in some way because there's so many things that you think you're going to remember forever that you won't. So I know not everyone's a journaler. You're not a

scrapbooker. Oh my god. I think I might become a scrapbooker. i used to scrapbook all the time tracy from the stacks she does a scrapbook for every single year but how amazing is that to look back on it's like the coolest coolest thing ever that's what i thought after i got my pool i have all these pool rides i'm like well where do i put them they're just on a stack in my kitchen right now because i don't have anywhere to put them in my apartment but i'm like scrapbook might do it i was a big scrapbooker during my rocket days and i have a scrapbook for every season and it has so much stuff in it that you wouldn't even remember

happening um and the way you thought about things the way culture was like it's just it's so amazing and you know i'm a big journaler and just being you think you're gonna remember all these little things and i go back and and look at some of these entries and i'm like oh my god i remember that happening and and more importantly than that it's so cool to look back and actually have a barometer of your own personal growth like the way i used to be in relationships and i was like just spazzing out it's four in the morning oh my god i haven't heard from him in three days do you think he still likes me i don't know why he wouldn't like i'm just a psycho and it's just nice to be like and now my problems are different i don't know yeah um okay i i have three more

for this episode it's okay to ask for help um i mean you don't have to explain that but it's like my dad always says to me baby girl everybody has a job to do and it's like i think he means like you don't need to this kitchen yourself but what is plumbing a kitchen like putting the plumbing in myself off a youtube video you know do you think that's the right terminology i don't know just plumbing the kitchen it's not a plumber doesn't plumb he doesn't i don't think so yeah what do plumbers do hold on that's not even does a plumber plumb

you have the weirdest adjective or a verb that's what i'm saying does a plumber plumb let me tell okay the term can be used as a verb to describe an activity of a plumber running water spline drain pipes in a building holy shit a plumber does plumb she don't ever question your elders again i have to because on a recent insta story you said we're gonna we're gonna rail it in instead of reel it in so i always have to catch and make sure you're using the english language you're usually not so that's why i had to check i'm shocked that plum is a is a verb the house anyway my dad's point is that everyone has a job to do so you know you don't have to make your own flowers for your wedding you can get the florist like you know you can everyone

has a job to do you don't have to do it all you don't have to do it all and you don't have to be good at everything if you don't know how to do blah blah blah you can get someone to do it for you okay two more and then we have to wrap up i'll continue uh these last two are a little serious they're ones that i added while i was on my trip tolerance just because someone doesn't do something the way that you would do it doesn't mean that it's wrong wow no shit wow she just came to this realization two weeks ago i didn't come to the realization but i was it was thrown in my face and i was like i think that i'm not even going to tell you but tolerance very important perspective whenever you have chris well yeah it does has to do with everything

from the big global ideas to like the little mediocre like which way do you cut a sandwich ideas i think yeah i think the big global idea we've all come to that big realization over the past two years so yeah and also jack vanik like you i i gotta be honest like i have learned like the way we essentially work in our metadata of like yes our insides as far as work goes is like could not be more different you're like an ultimate creative and i have i tried all for many years i tried to like bring you to the dark side to my side and like and then it never worked and then at some point i was like you know what just because jack does it this way doesn't mean it's wrong you know it just means we get to that we get to the ending together we always get to the

ending and it's always brilliant i'm actually never late i never finish i finish everything at 11 59 yes that's how that is so stressful for us but like it's still done like i always speak on behalf of me not us you and alex right yeah yes it's stressful for us anyway but the tolerance that it's just like you know what yeah yeah you gotta you can't look at that and be like the way jack does her timeline is wrong it's not it's just the way you do your thing you know last one perspective whenever you feel really overwhelmed spend some time in nature i know these are so stupid you guys but it's really true like we get in our little busy lives with our to-do lists and our groceries and our amazon packages and our children and our houses and our

bills and our mortgages and taxes and relationships and sex lives and utis and you just forget and you think all these things matter so much like it just matters that list you just gave made me like hate being a human why when you're like groceries and bills and taxes and mortgages i thought you meant the whole 40 list no no no no no what you just did like bummed me the out yeah no fun yeah and it should bum you out because it's like it sucks but it's like whenever i get too much i like take the dog for a walk or like you know going getting outside looking at the trees looking at the birds looking at the squirrels like we are all just like some dust we will be dust again it's not that deep

we're gonna be okay and on that note happy birthday me thank you for joining me we will continue the 40 things because next week because i'm so elder that if it was the 20 things i learned before i was 20 we would have been able to get through them but there's so many that we have to have a two birthday episode for kelty can't wait for when you turn 80 the 80 things episode 80 things i wish i knew i'll be on my ninth face it'll be amazing anyway happy birthday me happy birthday kelty thanks for listening the lady gang is produced by alex ingber steve delameter and jared monaco make sure you subscribe rate and review our podcast and if you love it share it with your friends on social media like oh my god i just listened lady gang this episode's so great

it's my bub to listen and if you really want to which we know you do please follow us on social at kelty at becca at jack vanek and at the lady gang sign up for our newsletter at the lady gang.com and join our secret facebook group it's super fun see you next tuesday hello hello hello and welcome to the lady gang follow-up zach martin why do you dislike going on walks i never said i dislike going on walks yes you did you project that what do you want to go for a walk i have things i have to do i work throughout the day when you like going on walks if you want to go first thing in the morning or in the afternoon i'm happy to do that i went on a walk yesterday at 5 p.m you didn't join me because we have a crew of 13 people in

the front yard doing landscaping off yeah okay hold on on a one on a zero to ten on a zero to 10 how much do you enjoy a walk as like a daily activity three see yeah is there anything we could do to improve the experience of the walk like a sexual walker do it faster now like a run my number one question is is it the company you're keeping on this walk no it's the time it takes to go just for a leisure stroll it's good for your mental health though okay well that was riveting. Thank you guys. Thank you so much. I'm glad we didn't have a better answer.