LadyGang - LG QUICKIE: Keltie's Broken Leg/Ankle/Foot?

Episode Date: September 26, 2019

Ketie broke her leg! Or her ankle...or her foot. It's really a mystery. And how long did it take until she knew that's what had happened? (Also, tip, don't fly with a broken anything.) Shout out to today's sponsors! Ship – Start swiping with friends, get the SHIP app by searching “SHIP Dating” in the app store.  The Farmer’s Dog – Save 50% off your trial with free shipping at thefarmersdog.com/ladygang.   See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey guys, the following podcast is a Lady Gang Network and Podcast One production, which means it's going to be awesome. It's time for a quickie. Podcast One presents the Lady Gang, the Hollywood girl posse with Lady Gang Quickie. Here's Kelty Knight, Becca Tobin, and Jack Vanek. Let's make this quick. Hello, hello, hello, and welcome to the Lady Gang Quickie. I am Becca here with Jack and Kelty.

Hello. I love how Kelty goes, action. Action. It's time. Director Kelty. It's time. And clap. And go.

What's so hard for me is that behind your head, Jack, one of the pictures is skewed. Oh, I see it. You want me to fix it? It's the one of you outside the royal wedding. Yeah. It's actually just next to a red wall. Oh, my God. Or a red.

That's a double-decker bus in London, Jack. Don't you follow my Instagram? Speaking of your Instagram. It's doing well. Okay, well, I'm about to tell you something. Yeah. I think she's going to bring you down. I am.

Oh, no. I need you to hire someone to make your captions for you. Why? I love that. You're using the same thing for everyone. She's like, wear a boot, but make it fashion. Wear some plaid, but make it fashion. Yeah, you need to stop with the make it fashion.

Yeah. But it's going so well. I think the first one's good. Like, wear a boot, or whatever. Broken leg, but make it fashion. Yeah. But then, like, don't do it again. Oh, like wear a plaid suit, but make it fashion?

Yeah, yeah. That also doesn't work. Like, you're supposed to make something fashion that's not fashion. yeah so like a plaid suit is a fashion statement yeah oh like a boo is not fashion well this is a perfect segue into what i think this show should be about okay i am losing my marbles they're gone from your foot you guys i feel like my eyeballs okay you know when you go in to get your eyes tested for glasses and they're like what slide is better yeah this one or this one yeah and you do it and then you like end up with your prescription i feel like the world is going like which one is

better fuzzy fuzzier fuzzier i feel like my eyeballs i don't understand this at all either you don't i thought it was a foot thing no my head like everything is fuzzy i'm like existing is it because you're on painkillers no i'm not on them anymore i'm just like everything is like what is that because of the foot focus obviously because i can't understand we started doing this 20 minutes late and i was just like let's start whenever like since when have i ever been like yeah i don't think you were like let's start whenever you were giving us both daggers and every three seconds you're like okay okay we're also doing other work it's not like we're just sitting here i felt chill you didn't look chill at all i can always feel your energy just

i just staring at me and stabbing me i just don't want to work yes you do no i don't i had four days Like I had two days off and then a weekend off and like, it was a re like, normally I'm like, let's get things done. Where's my Bujo? Where's my to do list? I can't wait to water the plants and cross it off, you know? And I was just like, okay, I'm going to stare at this wall. You stare at all.

That means you're taking the universe's lesson to heart and they're not going to, they're not going to do this to you again. So when Kelty hurt her foot, I need to finish chewing. Yeah, this is disgusting. I remember this part. What? Well, I can lead up to the story. Well, every time Kelty gets hurt, it's the universe telling her to slow the fuck down.

Yes. And she usually gets hurt and then goes faster. Yes. No, I think you slow down a little bit because of the pain pills. And then you pick back up. Like when you broke your wrist, you kind of slowed down for a bit. You're a little like spacey for a while. And then you picked right back up.

Right. And now you broke your foot by walking. This is the universe being like, it's okay to be so chill. And we wanted you to slow down This was the point And they want you to take what you're doing in this And adapt Apply it

Apply it to your normal life Yeah They don't want you to hit the ground running No With that boot on Or you're going to get hurt again I know Also, do you have a broken foot or leg?

I have a broken Angle Foot Okay, well today on a conference call You said I have a broken leg So this is another thing that you do You lie Well, this whole leg is not working the way it is supposed to

The leg is not broken It's not like you have a full leg cast. You have an ankle cast. It's true. A metatarsal cast. But also, if you walk on that foot and you f**k it up, then it'll be f**ked up for the rest of your life. I know. But it's a metaphor for your mind.

I know. You want your mind quiet. My mind is silent. I don't know about that. I don't know. My mind is like, I would love to see, I would love one day to live in my brain. Inside your mind, and then I want no more. No, I'm like, it takes so much energy.

Like to the point that yesterday when we were filming E.T., I filmed the show live and then after we went back and they were like, we're going to have to do the whole A block again because you're too chill. Oh. Like I wasn't even like amped up. Are you sure you're not still on the pills? I'm not. That's what it does.

I know. Maybe it was residual. Yeah. It's like the day after I smoke weed. I'm always a little slower. Yeah. Or like a two day hangover. Yeah.

They're like, your energy was low. I was like, oh, I feel like my energy was the same. Or maybe you just don't give a f*** anymore. no i care i was trying i don't know i didn't maybe i wasn't i don't know i just i just want you guys to know that there's a new me in town she's slow we're not gonna get she's slow she's slow like we like slow i just met with this healer woman and she said every time you do something and like you even it's like bump your elbow hit your head blah blah blah any kind of ailment or accident she's like it's never just an accident the universe is trying to tell you something well

that's kind of, I mean, I don't mean that's true, but you know, when you're having like a terrible day and then shit just keeps going and you drop stuff and you like, yeah, you bump your knee or whatever. I think that that's, that's pretty telling. Yeah, it definitely is. I will also say that now, well, I was on crutches and then I was on the scooter and something that I cannot do at the moment is be on my phone while I'm walking, transporting myself from place to place. Like, i mean i can't drive but um so oh is it your driving foot yes oh that sucks um what have you been doing ubering well alex has been driving me around and also like i've been like grabbing drives with producers and stuff but i can't like talk and text anymore i mean walk and

text and so i've noticed that i'm actually less focused but more focused so you're actually seeing your surroundings present like so when i'm scooting or crutching or sitting i'm like conversating with the people next to me and i'm like la la la la and then when i sit at my desk i'm like okay now it's time to email not while i'm walking i wish you would compartmentalize work yeah that's what i'm doing that's good you should take that with you beyond forever beyond the cast don't you think i'm so sick of talking to you and you be looking at me straight making eye contact but not hearing but I'm not looking no you yeah mine was somewhere else yeah I think that that'd be a really good exercise for you to do is like when you're working like actually working and not

10% work yeah then 90% in your head and I also think like this morning we were working on this video stuff and they're like do you have any notes and I was like you know what I'm just gonna call and I called and I was like hey it looks great because that was the truth I watched it it looked great and then i was like you guys crushed it i was like i have one thing and then i said the thing and i was like cool great work and then i hung up the phone like it and i was like i'm so nice that's how people should operate yeah no this is threes don't always well no you're three two three anyway i don't have this conversation the other day becca and i that you guys cannot possibly be the same and we absolutely are there are moments though where i'm like we're we can't

but our wings are different probably our wings you know okay yeah like you probably have a wing two which makes you like empathetic and sweet lovely and i probably like have a four which makes me like hide and also think i'm like the only person that has to deal with anything in their life like that's like a broken leg yeah i'm broken wait how do you get your wings on the enneagram i don't know what mine are it's like what's next door to you it's part of the So seven, you would have like an eight or nine. Oh. Yeah.

I don't know. Okay, whatever. Yeah. I think you're a nine wing. But anyway, we're not going to talk about this again. Anyway, so I feel like spacily newly focused. Good. Like I feel chill.

I feel like, you know what? That's how I am. I'm spacily focused. So welcome to my life. No, I don't think that I'm the same as you. No. I think, like I still was like sweating it a bit this morning. We had like a deadline and we missed it by like a day.

But I was like, we'll get to it when we get to it. Like, it's got to be perfect. The way I feel about deadlines is this. It's a loose suggestion. Also, when we send in what we're sending in for the deadline, it takes them about three weeks, seven days at least to open the file. So I'm like, I think I'd rather just take a few more days to us. Yeah. Nobody's emailing us, knocking on our door.

They don't even remember the deadline they gave. I know. And that's why I'm chill now. It's different if somebody was like, hello. Hello. where's this thing i know waiting on it nobody said anything no no it's just like great let's do it you know live your life okay no i don't want to make this quickie all about me so what's going on with you guys see how present i was there i wanted to go into another story

about me and i do the other story everyone loves listening to you no that's literally nothing that i hate more in life when somebody is like what's new with you and because then i forget every single thing that is ever going on in my life and i don't know so what's going on with you kelty well i i this is insane what no i'm telling you thank you for asking becca you're such a nice compassionate friend um when i was the one that asked okay when i when i broke my hip wait just now it's your hip when i broke my left side body um it's my right side body uh did you break your right hand too yeah so everything on your right is just falling apart and what's the right brain it's not what you think the right is creative i thought oh is it is the right brain the creative

no i think i think fast right brain is the like analytical oh it is creative i think i so it was turning that like pressure that's why i'm healing the right side so my right brain is not as sharp my only i'm creative but yet not anal yes thank you anyway so as i was falling on the streets of new york um and breaking my foot oh no right is creative told you right hemisphere creative left hemisphere analytic why do you guys even second guess me i don't know though always the no but wait the right hemisphere controls the left side of your body oh that's what it is so it is trying to kill your analytical side i love that that's what happened okay when we come back i'm gonna tell you how i broke my foot the lady gang okay we're back well no first of all i had it how

kelty broke her foot is my idea for this quickie don't you do you want to know honestly the world wants to know even though i'm sure you've already told instagram i didn't tell anyone i saved it for the podcast i'm saving this content for the podcast bitches all right thank god so i was I was wearing a beautiful wide leg pajama set designed by the Lady Gang and a Louboutin heel. High low, babe. High low. High low.

I had just appeared on The Morning Toast in New York and was rushing to get to E.T. to do a shoot. And there was traffic in New York. I was in a taxi. Morning Toast films in Brooklyn. Didn't know that. Long Island City. it's not in manhattan queens queens so i island city right so i was rushing rushing rushing we

get to 58th street columbus circle and the traffic is dead like we are not moving and i was like i am late for a live television show i've got to go so i got out of the car and i decided i will just walk these four blocks right to the studio which is on 53rd or whatever and i'm walking i'm walking And then in New York, you know how you don't, you kind of jaywalk in New York. Like you don't, only tourists like wait for the cross signal. So I look both ways. I'm like, nothing's coming except a truck like a block away. I'm good.

And I'm like, pitter patter, pitter patter, pitter patter across the street. Were you texting? I was holding my phone, looking at that I was late at the time, holding my tote bag and just like kind of crunch, crunch, crunch, crunch. And that Louboutin heel caught in that beautiful wildlife pant. Oh no, it was the pant. Dancer down. And I crunched on my foot So did you roll your ankle?

I fell and I caught myself On my left knee And my right edge of foot That's what braced the fall So the kicker is That I had a New York sneaker In my tote bag I could have changed into that sneaker in the cab

And been like let me walk safely in New York City But instead I was like Louboutin Then I got up and I was so embarrassed Some guy was like are you okay? And I'm like yeah I'm fine And I couldn't walk And then I like hobbled like back to, um, the studio. And I got there and I was like, do you have any ice to the producer?

You know? And like ice my foot. I'm like, I think I twisted my ankle. And like my friend Randy's like helping me get into the seat to do the live show. And I'm like, God, I had such a bad fall. I'm still like, I think I've just twisted my ankle. Cause you know, we have dancer blood. So you're like, I'm fine.

Shake it off. Shake it off. Right. So then that night I finished work. I, back to the hotel, which is like another five blocks. You walked five blocks. Yes. And I'm like, my foot really hurts.

Did you change into the sneakers? This is when I got out of the elevator. Becca was staying with me. She's like, oh, and I was like, yeah, man, I hurt my foot. She's like, can I get you anything? I'm like, no, no, I'm good. So they go on their way. And Chris is also in the hotel room because he's leaving.

And I get to the hotel and I was like, can you get me some ice? And I'm sitting there with ice on my foot. And immediately Chris starts talking about one of his clients. Like, he, like, puts the ice on my foot. He's not like, how are you? Let's take a look. Do what you think it's broken. Let me love on you.

Like, what a hard day. Oh, babe, you always hurt yourself. He was just like, I got to go to work. And then I blew up at him. Then Chris Knight and I had our second fight ever. And I was like, I looked at him. I said, you know what? I'm going to need a minute to decompress right now.

And then I slowly body rolled into flat on the floor of the hotel with the ice on my back, looking at the ceiling. And he just sat on his phone silently for, like, 15 minutes. And he was like, I'm sorry, that was really cold. And I was like, I just need you to love me. Anyway, so then that was our fight. It was pretty boring. So then I went to sleep. The next morning, I had to get up really early.

Shocker. And Becca's still sleeping in the bed beside me. We're cuddling. And I go to the bathroom. And I'm like, my foot's broken. Like, there's no way this is not getting better. It was worse. So I texted my makeup artist.

I was like, can you get me some crutches? so then I did the whole day in just a crutch self-diagnosed broken foot yeah I flew to Toronto the foot is like this big and purple oh god it probably didn't help that you're on a plane no and then I got to Toronto and I was like can I have a wheelchair and they're like it's an hour and a half wait I was like don't have time for this so I crutched myself through the entire Pearson airport my armpits are bleeding I went to the doctor and they were like okay let's get an x-ray it'll be the results will be back in three days so then I had to bribe the x-ray technician i was like can you just look at my x-ray and tell me if it's broken he's like what

the x-ray technician and by the way this is where the story gets so good i know you guys are bored but this is a crazy long story sorry but listen i want to know if this is weird okay this has to do with you jack oh okay the x-ray technician was hot was wearing open-toed tiva sandals oh is that medically i don't think it should be appropriate in a hospital with an open i think that it yeah i feel like that's illegal no not illegal he had a beautiful like he didn't have a gross foot no they should definitely canada it's different they like yeah they go out in like the freezing cold with a flop yeah no but for sure they're carrying around like medical equipment and scissors and stuff or not but like body scissors probably scissors like a scissor to

cut like muscle which are sharper no he wasn't cutting my muscles he was the x-ray technician But I'm saying they should wear closed-toed shoes because people are carrying around body scissors. Scalpels. Body scissors. There has to be a – wait, is a body scissor like a razor or is it a snip-snip? I mean like a scissor that they would use to cut open like skin to get in for surgery. I don't think they use a scissor. I think they use a knife.

Well, they probably have scissors as well. Can someone tell us? I'm telling you right now. Go Google it. Body scissors. I bet you $5 million that body scissors exist. yeah bodies trauma shears there you go whatever body scissor trauma shear oh my god trauma anyway that should be a name for a band he had open toe shoes which was freaked out

anyway i was like yo can you and he was so weird and then he was like so aggressive with my foot i'm like it's broken don't move it like that anyway he was like your foot's broken he's like your foot is broken i was like okay so then i drove myself in a taxi to the medical supply place yes and i got a boot and then i didn't go to the actual doctor until i was home in california on friday so is it it's more than a hairline fracture it's like a full-on broken bone it's a broken bone do you want to see it's a chip you don't want to see it you can't see it this podcast there's like a piece of my metatarsal that's just like a little half moon and it's gone it's gone it was terror shield what is it the terror shears terror shears trauma trauma shears

someone trauma sheared it off anyway that's how i broke my foot thank you for coming to my ted talk well that was that was a roller coaster of emotions it really was all right well that's the end of this quickie i'm glad it was great i could have done this one myself sorry for making you guys come in you should start doing quickies alone no i feel like you could you could probably talk for 25 minutes thousand percent i would last 10 seconds i'd be like okay same i'd be like so then five hours later would you guys like to see me do a solo show please swipe up on my instagram i still think you should do like a limited k-type series a limited k-type series i think if you don't give her another job oh yeah no my job's way i'm look at new chill me

i could add more jobs because i'm so chill chill people don't want to add new jobs chill people want to chill i mean i still don't want to okay anyway all right well bye this was fun we're not here for a long time we're here for a good time good time bye thanks for listening and make sure to rate and review this podcast wherever you get your podcast we have new episodes of lady gang every tuesday and thursday follow us on social media at the lady gang uh follow us personally at kelty most importantly at becca and at jack bannock and we will see you next tuesday Thank you.