LadyGang - LG QUICKIE: MOB WIFE LIFE

Episode Date: March 7, 2024

What's in the box?! The big pink box is back! Get our thoughts on Mob Wife aesthetic, Jac still accidentally being on Raya? The celeb who has been secretly texting Becca's old number (we think!), the reason why mommy shamers shame... it's just us and the box today! Check out our amazing sponsors!!! LadyGang is brought to you by BetterHelp! Visit BetterHelp.com/ladygang to get 10% off your first month! Progressive: Quote your car insurance at Progressive.com to join the over 28 million drivers who trust Progressive!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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wearfigs.com and use code figs ca for 15 off your first order that's wearfigs.com code figs ca it's time for a quickie podcast one presents the lady gang the hollywood girl posse with lady gang quickie here's kelty knight becca tobin and jack vanek let's make this quick hello hello hello welcome to the lady gang quickie i'm becca here with jack and kelty i don't know if you guys noticed but we changed the studio around yeah a little bit i don't know if anybody watching will notice no i don't think so but I think it's nicer and by changed it you mean we just shifted our chairs a little bit I did black out curtains behind the curtain so now no sun comes in oh I have a desk that rolls so it's

rolled into the gym which standing desk my standing desk rolls it's a rolling standing desk which honestly has changed my life I'm not gonna lie changed my life except I got a beautiful desk pad and then I ate a peanut butter toast and the peanut butter toast went and ruined the desk pad and I washed it it's not the same so but no new things this year so I'm gonna have to just go with it but anyway just use shout shout gets everything out i know i well then i put it in the washing machine and the dryer and it kind of flaked into nothing so now it could have just been you just use your desk and then wipe it off if something falls on it well i like the soft padness for my wrists of a desk pad okay but thank you for coming to my ted talk okay wow ready what's

in the box what's in the box what's in the box okay like i'm looking like looking like i have known didn't read all of these oh this one's kind of juicy saucy experience working with nate burleson he never came on lady gang and you never speak of him do you have bad blood whoa um there's no bad blood he never came on lady gang but i don't think we were recording lady gang because we were doing so much press here's what i'll say about this like i when you work in entertainment and I think you would agree with all of your movies there's certain people that you just vibe with and they become your lifelong best friends like a Kevin Frazier I talk to all the time a Michael Yeo I hosted with and then there's people that I've worked with that

I'd never really see again like I like Nate I think he's great he was great on the show we had a blast but like he has nine jobs he lives in a different city he's got six kids like booked and busy he's booked and busy so I just didn't feel like we ever had the time to like really hang out and become like besties but like would I work with him again sure was I hoping we could do a second season absolutely do I still follow his wife on Instagram and I'm so excited about his kids and they're like all playing football now like yes so there's no bad blood and sorry he didn't come on Lady Gang he he is great we should we had also like yeah we were with Lady Gang pre-taping so much I was traveling like I don't even think we thought but about it the lesson

there though is i and i see so many women in our facebook group that are like you don't have to be best friends with everybody no and we feel like we need to it's like the work family like the you know and it's like you can just do your job and go home yeah if that's what you want to do like i actually haven't made as many close like lifey friends at e as i did at et and i think it's because i'm jaded now where i'm like oh we're not a family like i went to all those people's weddings i knew their kids names i was like the cameraman i knew their you know yeah and like i just haven't been that invested in like i don't know if it's a no new friend thing but it's just like i can't i want to just focus on my real life friends and do my job it's also harder like because

inevitably those jobs end much sooner than like normal corporate jobs right so when you get like so into each other's lives and intertwined it makes it it just makes it harder when it ends right and you're like where's my person and then yeah it's awkward and you're like how much should we talk yeah should we talk every day again like we were it was like the summer camp kind of thing summer camp yeah all right thanks for asking mob wife aesthetic so i like i like mob wife aesthetic only because i'm sick of clean girl aesthetic i think it's lasted too long it doesn't look great on everybody what's clean girl aesthetic it's like these slick backed hair like the really clean looking makeup like no makeup makeups yeah

the just the gold jewelry like very simple like minimalistic but like no fun i guess yeah no pizzazz no pizzazz it's like no stealth wealth no yes it's no riz yeah it's like the row yeah and like yeah well like the wannabe row for like normal people but i like mob wife aesthetic because it's like the complete opposite you can more express express have you not seen it no i know exactly what you're talking about okay yeah i like the big fur coats i like the messy hair like the big sunglasses it's more my style so i'm into it but the aesthetics that it's like this and then that and then this and then that and i'm like we don't need that can i wear my leopard print faux fur coat for mob wife aesthetic that's like what it is coming back but I I think as

you've come to realize for me when your fence finds like I don't like anything that's not real like I don't like a faux fur I don't want a real fur apparently now it's okay to get vintage fur it is it always allegedly it always has it oh yeah like celebrities would be like this was my grandmother's coat and it would be like a Givenchy like brand new but like yeah it's kind of like yeah so well a fake fur looks like shit it just looks like shit and I'm like why not just get like I like the original thing even if it's even if it's not as cool yeah like I don't like the like a fur a real fur coat is used to be before it was like totally bad and awful to

have and wear. That was like a sign of wealth. A sign of status. Like a diamond. Like all that like stuff. So I'm like we're so obviously trying to be that and it's just not like let's just stick with

like a beautiful wool coat. Yeah well it's the same thing as the clean girl aesthetic where it's like this fake rich different versions of fake rich. But at least with clean girl they're not like there's no pretending and there's no like piece like the one piece that's like no it's just yeah i don't know it's like you're this the fur coat represented status at one point of course and now the like

stuffed animal that you're wearing it actually is quite the opposite of status i know we'll never forget the christmas that my mom opened a gift for my dad and it was a fur coat yeah me too oh yeah and she was like oh yeah is brin from real housewives of new york like the mob wife aesthetic kind of where she's like in a hat and a sunglass and like a huge fur coat it's like a bit more is more kind of a thing yeah more is more as i love but the thing with i think is so funny about the aesthetics it's like capitalism at its finest because it's like now this thing is in so i gotta buy my fur coat i gotta buy my red bag i gotta buy this this and this and like every person's doing that yeah so it's like now you gotta buy a new wardrobe for the new aesthetic

Right. It's someone decided that in the Barbie CEO office and they were like, we have sold enough camel coats. Yes. Yeah. Everyone keeps wearing their same J.Crew camel coat. We must invent something new for the ladies to want. And they do. This is mob wife aesthetic. OK. Really, really want to talk about it. How do you all manage finances as a couple? Who handles what and how to budget? it. Well, I'm going to throw you back Vivian too. She was just on, um, rich BFF and she talked a lot about this. Yeah. But for me and Chris, we have our joint account. We each have separate accounts. We talk about money. We make goals about money. We have joint investments. We each

have separate IRAs. I know how much money he makes. He knows how much money I make. I have never once asked him his permission to buy anything. Um, I have fought him when he said we can't have a pool heater. And I was like, it's my money. I'm buying a pool heater and I'll pay the bill. Like, and I am lucky because I have my own job and my own money that I, you know, I can't imagine what it's like if you are a stay at home mom or someone's someone else is providing for you and you have to be like, can I go to target today? Like that would feel so weird to me, but I know people have to do that. So I don't, it's different. Yeah. Yeah. And I would just urge anybody, like if you don't work and you stay at home with kids or you just don't work at all

and like your spouse does, he should give you a salary. Well that, yeah, that, that, but also you should definitely be let in on at least know how much you have and how much every month costs for you to live. It helps both people because I find that my friends, husbands who they don't don't have that dialogue with the husbands get resentful because the wives just spend cause they don't have any idea, but nobody's telling you. And then the, and so then, and then if the wives ask, then you can have a little peace of mind and like stay within your means when you're shopping or just know, because also people die and like there are so many people who lose their spouses and then they have no idea how to even get into

their bank account no that's so true and also in a divorce like if you don't if you have your head buried in the sand and you get left and you have no idea and no control over your finances like it's there's no guardian angel that's going to swoop down and help you there people might be able to try but like at the end of the day this is something you just have to do well and especially for anybody going into a new relationship like it's so hard to say that to somebody that's been married for 30 years and it's like you gotta make a change control your finances if you've been a stay-at-home mom or wife or whatever but if you're getting into a new relationship if you are going to be the one that's not working like at least having that communication and that financial

literacy overview yeah it doesn't have to be equal like kelty and chris but like just to know and have logins because like you said people die and then you're like i didn't know my husband's password yeah and then you can't get into their bank account at all like that oh my god that is so crazy. So scary. Yeah. My name is Shannon Maldonado. I'm the founder of Yowie, a gift shop from the lens of artists and handmade objects. I chose Shopify because when I was testing other platforms, it was definitely one of the most user-friendly. It was important to me to think about where we would be in the future. All of the tools for reading your sales, like planning inventory, they're just right there on your dashboard. For anyone starting a small business,

the biggest thing I can tell you is it doesn't have to be perfect. Shopify can help you build upon it. Start your free trial on Shopify.com. or get the app that's r-a-k-u-t-e-n the lady gang sorry well i was just thinking i was just thinking of like um the hidden money like not hidden money but like people's like secret okay actually i'm gonna be honest with you i'm gonna be honest i was making up something kind of because i didn't want to tell you what i was really thinking about and what i was really thinking about is so fucking embarrassing. I was thinking about how excited I am to have, I thought of something I want to put on my to-do list. I'm so excited about it because I really want to go

through all my subscriptions on my iPhone and see what apps I'm still using in 2024 and get rid of them. The ones that I'm not. And like, I probably have like $25 a month of like unused apps that I can put back in my account. That's what I was thinking. And I know it was dumb. And so I didn't want to tell you but now i told you it's like when i was signed up for raya or tinder for like up until two years ago i've really been under plus poor jared he's like wait what i'm definitely still on raya no because like raya doesn't delete your your profile you have to like deactivate it so i'm still spinning out there probably matching with really amazing people can we just go on and see who's on right now or no that's against the rules that's no that's a slippery slope yeah okay

what am i gonna do get banned from raya yeah i'm saying as a married person and it's like some hot person oh and you're like uh i don't want to know like i truly i actually have this i have this with a guy in the business who's like pretty famous yeah and in our 20s late twenties, whatever, we always like hung out together in groups and whatever. And I was always kind of dating other people, blah, blah. Anyways, I did change my cell phone number at this like weird time in my life. It was a couple of months after Matt died. And I was like, I just need to like a clean slate and I needed a new cell phone number and I got a new cell phone number. And then a couple years after that I bumped into this guy and we had this like cute conversation of just

catching up or whatever but I could sense that he was like the vibes were like kind of yeah coming why didn't you know why didn't you reply to my text and then I left and I was like I have this weird feeling that he has been messaging me on my old phone yeah and that old number yeah and I sat there and I was like I'm now in a relationship so I can't be like hey hey here's my new number but then I'm also like do I just continue on and and like after that run in did he send me a text being like it was so good to see you and you didn't respond so I'm like it's this weird thing that like I all I think about often I'm like if if you're in like a bad position in your current relationship like if Zach turned to me tomorrow was like I want a divorce I would

literally be like I need to make sure this person has my phone number he's the first person you'd reach out to yes so like I'm just saying you don't want to have I don't even want to know you know what it is it's like I don't I don't want to know I want to know so badly the person is that got your phone number that this famous person had been texting people sent me screenshots for years of this person responding being like for the last time this is not Becca's phone like they gave my number out way too soon oh no way too soon and I bet you this guy was one of the guys and little did that person know that they were like a famous person I think they knew by then because it was like you're right aggressive it's so many people hey Becca are you available

for this movie and then he's like this is not back and they're like she's too hard to get ahold of and that's why my career sucks it's because I changed my number and I also when I changed my number I never told anybody I just sort of like gave the people the people that I needed to and then i never told anyone else so i think that's why that person got a little butterfly do you think that this person was more into you because there you had not responded to the text one thousand percent i agree i actually was like if i had been responding all this time like yeah it would be too thirsty yeah too thirsty and i think the fact that i was also so nice to him at that time he was probably like what a mind yeah she's like why are you responding to my text bitch like

you're playing games wait do i know who this person is yeah i do i can't know who she's talking about i have no idea the mystery this is like the unsolved mystery of lady gang can we each have one guest and if we get it right you'll tell us not on the podcast i literally can't i don't even have a guess i'll get you an us weekly and you can look okay okay is he still famous like is he still he's doing things currently okay is any is he on the award season circuit maybe what is it jason is this somebody you've slept with no that's the thing is that it's like i've never even like scratched that thing not even kissed him never but we always had like in our 20s like a fun flirtation and then there was a window that he did i think try to kind of like come in and i was just

too you weren't ready wasn't ready and so i was like didn't think about it and then when i bumped into that him that day i was like you're like it's all coming back to me now it's all coming back okay let's talk about competitive moms like with their children or each other i don't have a competitive mom but moms are weird like i know we're not talking about our moms we're talking about women our age to our brothers yeah yeah no offense but i don't think anyone wants to hear about my mom yeah there's all these mommy bloggers and stuff that end up it comes out that they were like starving their children oh my god that root or what was her name so fucking crazy to me whatever her name is and like the hell wrote ruby like starving her children yes she was like

a mommy blogger and she had like four different kids she was abusing them abusing them starving them like oh what didn't a video come out with her like bitching at her kid to say things on camera or yeah i'm saying that she wasn't gonna like feed him that day and shit it's wild her and like it was her friend yeah good to jail i just oh her friend went to jail both of them we're doing they were both doing it oh i thought you meant her friend like called her out and i was like i just when you you very rarely post ford and i love it when you do like i love i i live for a ford post but you very rarely post him when you post him do you instantly get he shouldn't be wearing a shoe like that at this age? No, people are cool. I think if I were to go into DMS of

people who the only DMS that I really open and get and see are people that I also follow or like lady gang listeners who I've had like a rapport with over the years. I don't go into that part of my Instagram. Truly. I never go in to see a dark place over there. Yeah. But like even in my car and in my comments, my comments are filtered that if you don't follow me, you can't make a comment on my pictures i love that yeah so like you have to follow me and i probably shouldn't say that because then like people will just follow me for that time they wanted to write something shitty and then unfollow me but oh so it's not just your you can do that only for people that follow you yeah so like if i'm on a search page that and no and somebody finds my page and

they're like you look like caitlin jenner they couldn't post they couldn't that sounds nice it's very nice it's a nice way to control it i'm sure there are people out there who have like comments about it things and like opinions but i also am aware of the things that really trigger people like you're never gonna win if you post a picture of your kid in their car seat yes i was just thinking that depending on like the angle of the picture it could look like the strap is lower than it is and not like it could look looser than it like people are cray cray that's the first thing that came to my mind about that it's by the way not to make myself sound old but uh when i was growing my dad had like a 62 chevy and we used to drive around it and we've there were no seatbelts

in the car it didn't even exist no car seat and you'd face backwards face backward no and and also when i was like in fifth and sixth grade the fun thing for me to do would be to drive for my four hour trip to the lake cabin my dad would put a blow-up mat in the trunk of his truck yeah because it had like the cover the canopy and we put blankets and me and katie would chill back there no seat belts flopping around like we are in a sleepover yeah on the winter war roads in canada yeah i'm just letting you know and that is why i am like this times have changed that's how it was as kids but now it's like sorry i know this makes me sound so crotchety but it's like that's how we were give everyone a break like they're doing the best they can like a girl i

know posted a picture of her newborn and when babies sometimes if babies have more of like an olive complexion and they're most likely like if both parents are pretty fair skin and the baby has like a really olive complexion sometimes that's a sign of jaundice so like the liver's not functioning whatever properly or whatever so and every baby's like so many babies have it and like they can have like a little bit of it and and still be okay like it's just you monitor it for the first couple weeks of their life so a friend of mine posted a picture of her newborn and she had to go on and in her stories hey everybody thank you so much for your concern but I also don't think it's ever really concern I always think it's just like people being like know-it-alls

hey like know-it-alls and also being like huh mommy shaming like you didn't know this your kid could be dying and like you're just posting pictures of him and she was like he's healthy he just had his bilirubin tested like that's they call it like in the hot today with his pediatrician he's okay. He's fine. My question is where does that come from? Is it because you're so deep in your mommying and it's so difficult and you feel so alone that it's like, when I look at Bella Hadid, I want to be like that bitch because she's like so snatched and so beautiful. And you want to automatically hate the other woman because you feel less than, or is it like, what, what is the psychological thing behind watching other people's children and then like judging their

mommyhood? I think that there's two camps of women. I think there's camps of women who make their entire identity being the best mom ever. Right. And so they take pride in that and they like shun other people who don't appear to be as amazing as they are. They've made that their identity. And then I think there's another camp of women who all feel like they're getting it wrong kind of they fuck up occasionally they like have a little tiny bit of like I don't know what I'm doing blah blah blah and then if they see something they actually know it's kind of like when I was I was horrible in school and if I knew the answer to like the one question my hand would be like this is the one thing I know this is the only thing I know yeah so they're so eager to be

like to to show that they know something because they're also so insecure and I think also they get a little bit of that schadenfreude uh what is it where it's like the term you're making up a word no it's a german term for like getting pleasure out of somebody else's pain i was gonna say there's also just it's the same thing with any other type of internet bullying it's like people are on their high horse they want they probably have their own guilt about something or feeling like lesser than like you're thinking and this is gonna make them feel better about themselves by being like you're doing this wrong yeah so i feel like i'm a better mom there's also just so many know-it-alls people are just assholes it's the internet yeah nobody's gonna say anything

to you about your car seat in public no it's only gonna be when they go back to their phone on the internet yeah yeah can you imagine like being in a home goods and looking down and being like your baby looks a little jaundiced yeah exactly not in a way where it's like oh my like maybe it's like hey i just want to let you know like your baby has jaundice time i should check that the only time I might ever say something is if it's a really young mother, right? Yeah. You know, like a really, really young mother who probably doesn't have a lot of other mom friends who like, but that's pushing it. It would have to be crazy or like the baby's choking or yeah. Like life or death. The other day I was in a Dick's sporting goods because I was trying to find like snow

stuff because it was so cold in Texas. And I was like, Florida has nothing snow related, whatever. so I'm there with Ford and he's next to me he's kind of playing with like some some bullshit and then I look over and there's like another little boy around Ford's age and he's with his dad which I'm gonna generalize here like of course the dad is like eight feet in front of the kid looking at the workout equipment and I'm like that kid is so young like he's gonna get swiped yeah there were treadmills there's a line you know it's a line of treadmills you can sample yeah whatever so the kid's there and I'm like I just sort of picked Ford up because also there's a weight bench. And like, you know, they have the circular that you put on and off to make it

heavier, lighter. The kid is sitting there. It's a 25 pound, like whatever you call that. And he's spinning it. Oh my God. And it's, there's nothing stopping it from sliding off and landing on this kid's foot. And I actually, cause I hate being that person. I'm like, I do not want anybody to feel like I'm like, you're not being a good parent. But I was like, I couldn't, I literally jumped and I grabbed forward. I jumped in front of the weight and I was like, Ooh, you don't want this to fall on top of you and the dad looked at me like i was a the most awful nosy busy body whatever and i'm like if you're welcome you're welcome this kid and and that and that's the thing is like it has to be that extreme for me to step in and tell anybody that something's going on

oh my god and dads dads man like hello we would not exist as a human race if it were up to men to watch toddlers 24 hours a day. I mean, Zach is a real exception, and I know there are some exceptions, but when you see a man usually with his toddler child, you're like, they just barely miss death every couple minutes, just barely. And I'm like, we would not exist if it were for men.

I love you, and you're a great mom. Thank you. Okay, we weren't here for a long time. We're here for a shamefully- Mommy shaming time. Mommy shaming time. Are you a little jaundiced? Thank you so much for listening.

The Lady Gang is produced by Steve Delameter, stacy para jared monaco and social support from amy ryerson it really means the world to us when you show up in our community outside the podcast so sign up for our secret facebook group just search the lady gang under groups follow us on instagram and tiktok at the lady gang and the most important thing you can do is share this episode with a friend we would love that so much thanks for listening We'll be right back. in the womb let's talk with heather dubrow every thursday on podcast one or wherever you get your

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