LadyGang - LG QUICKIE: Not Gonna Lie Part 2

Episode Date: August 25, 2022

In part 2 of the game, Not Gonna Lie, the ladies are answering the NSFW questions you’re dying to know. Plus, find out some of their secret beauty hacks. Check out our amazing sponsors!!! Hyundai: Check out the new Hyundai Palisade! It’s your journey. Learn more at HyundaiUSA.com  Progressive: Quote your car insurance at Progressive.com to join the over 27 million drivers who trust Progressive!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hi, Lady Gang. Just in case you've been living under a rock, our brand new book, Lady Secrets, is available for pre-order. It comes out September 20th, but if you go to theladygang.com slash books, you can get this amazing bonus offer if you pre-order it. You can get an exclusive clip from the audiobook, and it might be a little story about how Kelty may or may not have gotten kicked out of George Clooney's party in the south of France. And then you can also get a promo code for the Lady Gang shop for $20. So go check out theladygang.com slash books to pre-order yours now. This episode of Lady Gang is brought to you by the new Hyundai Palisade. When it comes to your journey, Hyundai is thinking of every mile. Learn more at HyundaiUSA.com.

It's time for a quickie. Podcast One presents the Lady Gang, the Hollywood girl posse with Lady Gang Quickie. Here's Kelty Knight, Becca Tobin, and Jack Vanek. Let's make this quick. hello hello hello welcome to the lady gang quickie i am becky here with i am drunk i can't do that again kelsey you did that last time oh my god i have i'm so drunk that my back hurts you know when you get like a little bit of back like no actually i have a fun fact i should have put this in the lady secrets book if i'm drunk and i'm wearing a skirt or a dress this is so specific i will get a hemorrhoid the next day that's weird would the hemorrhoids just pop out even when you're not having a baby excuse me they don't pop out like internal or outternal they can

be both how are you getting it from wearing it how are you getting it from wearing a skirt i think something happens to your body air no when you have ultimate relaxation and you don't feel like a pant against you or something. It wants to let everything just wants to open up and be released. And if I, if I have an airy situation happening, there's nothing supporting my sphincter. And so I swear to you, I have gotten after so many drunken nights. That is so weird. And after wearing something that is light down there i will get hemorrhoids but you're wearing you're wearing underwear yeah always wearing it's not like a jean is holding your butthole there's something about the reminder you know what it is it's like the sometimes for like posture you know

they have those yeah yeah it's like almost when my body feels my butthole feels like there's something holding it holding it reminds it to cinch it up but if it feels nothing below it other than a thin thong like a dna thing or is it just anyone can get it because i've never had a i think it's probably genetic and also how does a poop feel like with a hemorrhoid is it paint like is the hemorrhoid like what size is it like a big zit or is it like a full like date they range yeah it depends some people have them so badly that you have to go and surgically remove them yeah i've never gotten to that point oh if i had probably been pregnant and delivered a baby it would have been on fleek for sure because my sisters were i'm so sorry jessica i told you i

wouldn't do this again but i'm sorry you've said it before yeah the bundle of grapes that came out of her butthole after she pushed but you could have multiple multiple you could have many oh that's so and it i just feel like bumholes are already so sensitive yeah well that's i don't know how we got here but i don't have a hemorrhoid now okay well we are playing uh not gonna lie ngl not gonna lie we got a kelty jack question okay how did kelty jack first connect meet how soon after they dated ryan ross did they begin they obviously know how you met if they just said that yeah so we don't need to tell them that part of it well i i remember the first time I met you in real life. Yeah. We were having sushi with Alex DeLeon. Do you remember? No,

you don't know. Alex DeLeon, our mutual friend was having sushi somewhere in the Valley or something. And Chris was managing him, the cab already. And he was like, come. And then we went and you were there. And I was like, hi, I'm Kelty. But I like knew who the fuck you were, obviously. And we like had a little kiki. We had like, we were just meeting. You were super cool. like it was i think anna rose was there like it was very chill and i was like she's so cool and then i don't remember how i got your phone number because i had your phone number when i wrote you and said do you want to do lady gang so i already had your phone number i don't remember when we connected over like full phone number moment but i remember that but this was like years after ryan

oh yeah i mean it was well if you were with chris yeah yeah because i was single for years and then met chris and then is ryan in a relationship now i have no idea no one knows where ryan ross is literally should we do it like a 60 minutes i think we should but like i don't want to be a part of it i don't want to be a part of it but like i yeah that's how i i remember first he doesn't have social media he doesn't post on it yeah he's like definitely someone i think that got like here's the thing we had we what he got away not that he got away I really really and I'll say this from my heart of hearts like I I was really messy and he was really messy and I've always felt really bad about it and then I fucking wrote the book like I was really messy about it

and I've had many regrets about that okay but my biggest regret is that we had lost touch when hobo died yeah and we had this dog together and he originally had gotten her and then could not take care of her and i took care of her and she was the love of my life like i love callie but she's not hobo like hobo was the most special dog on the planet to me and my best friend and i felt very emotionally connected to this animal and when i had to put hobo down when she was sick the only person in the world that I wanted to talk to about it was Ryan. I wish I had his phone number. I mean, I had his phone number. He had changed it, but like, I wish that we had stayed some sort of weird friends, even though that was impossible. But like, I wish that I could have

been like, I'm putting hobo down today because like, I remember us getting her and she was so, such a lover and like ate the fucking stairs and was like a terror. And I just like, there was no one that could have brought me comfort in that than like him. But like, we had that point of like already hated each other. And so I always have felt really bad that like Hobo died and he doesn't know. I mean, I'm sure, I'm sure he knows, maybe he knows, but like, I never got to be like, I have to put Hobo down. Do you want to come say goodbye or whatever? Cause like he loved that dog, you know? And it was like, that's hard. That's always really hurt my feelings. So if you're out there, Ryan, like I, I tried to contact you. I, so you did try to contact you. I did like go

to people that were in his circle and was like, Hey, did Ryan change his number? Cause I had his number for a long time and i was like did you change his number he's not responding like i did want to be like that we have to put the dog down do you want to come see her before we put her down you know like and i was already married like yeah you know and it's like water under the bridge right like shit that happens when you're 20 like you think it's so important and it's not and i felt really bad like i really wanted to make peace with that but i just we never got the opportunity so sad well kind of dark get yourself a greg somebody really called me out did becca ever finished college after she told her mom she would during covid what were you going to finish college

during covid during covid i made a deal with my mom i didn't know this that i would finish i have one degree one credit oh my god even a like a full class is like three credits okay one credit i told her that i would finish and i it has been lingering but she's a lot of time i'll do it for you yeah i'll literally do it for you hire somebody i don't know how to get started i mean i do but i don't you know what i mean i just i'm also pissed i'm pissed at the new school university because that is where i got my degree my bfa in musical theater and i said to them listen look at what i've done since leaving the school give me like a can i have an honorary god doctor i took as many credits as I was supposed to, but my advisor, or maybe I heard them wrong. I took one class that

wasn't technically the right kind of class to finish my degree. And I'm really, I don't want to give my money to the new school. I've, I've been on this tangent before. I'm so sorry, but yes, I do have to finish college and it's going to be so embarrassing. Can I tell you something about my college education that you don't have one? No, I do. Well, I mean, I went to hair school that's not college college well i went to the long island beauty academy and let me tell you something so you need 10 000 hours or whatever to get your hair degree or whatever it is and like i was very very close and then i got the rockets and i went back to the owner of the school and i was like hey i gotta go be a radio city rocket and he literally like pumped me up that like hours

why can't the school do that let me like yeah i never took i never took the state board i never do anything with it but like he was cool enough to be like i see that you're hustling you have you have enough hours quote unquote yeah you new school wow i'll come back and teach a class on like how to work as well it's also like that's rude i feel like i should like if taylor swift can have a doctorate you can have a degree thank you if jared leto can go to harvard or whatever is it jared leto that i have no idea anyways i feel like jared leto would go to harvard a lot of people are acting asking about our past relationships yeah people are very interested but guess what the dick is trash

let me just be honest we never had an orgasm okay this is great elizabeth arden sent us some products today and i'm like really loving this lip chap yeah it's good introducing the new 2023 hyundai palisade when it comes to your journey Hyundai is thinking of every mile. We love our Hyundai. I drive a Hyundai. The Palisade offers all the technology, safety features, and comfort a family needs in the journey ahead. You can stay connected with the Palisade's Wi-Fi hotspot capability. The class-exclusive safe exit assist prevents the rear doors from opening if the vehicle detects traffic approaching from behind. And there's an available third row heated power folding seats. I love my heated seats. And it

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casualty insurance company and affiliates price and coverage match limited by state law the lady gang what's a shameful but effective beauty tip no one talks about but everyone does shaving our faces I mean it's not shameful no but it's definitely a life hack people oh no we're at this wedding and Chris was like you know one thing I'm like I can't get him to be like you're beautiful but he's like you know one one thing I'm really thankful for and I was like what and he was like you don't have a mustache he really notices a female mustache i think everyone notices a female mustache does he know that you have one that you shave off i didn't let him in on that but like probably but but i but i did say when i was going to

abiza i was like i forgot my razor can you bring me my face razor so he understands that they're shaving involved but he's like i'm so glad you don't have a mustache yeah he knows everybody has under there he just is glad you take care of it exactly yeah but like i thought i think shaving the face is like the most underrated like it is there is nothing that feels better than a freshly shaved, freshly shaved. Yes. Like it is something. And now when I see a woman with like a lot of peach fuzz around her jowl line, I'm like, you got to shave that baby, which is so weird because that was like Marilyn Monroe's like whole thing is like, she had a lot of peach fuzz on her face and that's why she like looked so like flawless. Oh really? I didn't have HD

cameras. It was like a blur. It was like, yeah, it was already a blur. Um, no, every girl's like, i can't do it it's gonna grow back thicker it doesn't no it doesn't when it starts to grow back in it you can feel it because it's shorter oh this is a good one have you ever faked an orgasm yes yes no of course you never have i won't do it ever i won't do it i find that it's actually a gift to myself to fake an orgasm it's not like a right it's like a yes that's for me well i i have i had something against it when i was dating because i'm like yeah i can't get training a dog yeah you're training a dog then yeah but then i also but that's why i feel like that's not why but it probably doesn't help the fact that a lot of men don't know what the

they're doing when they're like going down on you because some people fake orgasms they think that they're the man when they're not they're like licking the side of your leg they don't like it's like a whole thing yeah and then yeah but here's the analogy that i have it's like if it's that off base and you're like refusing to fake it it's the equivalent of going to a restaurant and ordering like let me have the lasagna please and they bring you out a steaming pile of dog shit you're not gonna be game to be giving notes about that dish and risking having another shitty dish come back so i'm not going to be like could you actually make this adjustment don't suck like don't suck completely at oral sex like if you're that off i can't it's my time

it's my meal and it's my time and i don't have the patience and i'm scared to see what you're going to come out of the kitchen with next if you're that off so i can't i don't have time to tutor you and then as soon as men know what they're doing sometimes it's just nice to be like this feels nice but i am mentally not going to get to the place where i need to be to be able oh yeah so i think sometimes it's like it's not faking an orgasm but it's like being like i'm good like this was fun i'm happy you're happy i'm feeling like a prowless like a hot bod but like i have so many things on my to-do list that i am not able to switch my brain into orgasm and sometimes it just doesn't happen. It really is a miracle, you know? And so I think we need to like

give ourselves that, like, it's not about faking an orgasm, but sometimes you cannot reach the orgasm. And I also want to give like guys, I mean, it's a little different for them, but like sometimes they're also exhausted and it's like, you know, they're like pumping for Jesus and you're like, it's okay. Like we can go to sleep. Like we, we made out a little and we're good. you know like I just think there's so much pressure on it that's unfair I think where like I got in trouble is like in my 20s and I would be like I remember my god I won't even tell this story because Chris will just like be so embarrassed I had sex with this guy who was so hot and I knew nothing about sex at this time in my life but he was so hot oh my god he's still hot and um mom I'm

so sorry i told you not to listen to the podcast anyway so i'm like having sex with him and i'm like giving it's like an oscar worthy performance i'm not feeling anything i'm not even like i don't even know how to have an orgasm at this point right like i'm just not even like i haven't even done enough to know but i'm giving like an oscar worthy orgasm performance and he literally was like you need to stop he like called me out in the middle of it like stop picking your orgasm it was so embarrassing but i can picture what you were probably doing it was did you guys oh my god this is reminding me it was so hot when he was like no no like i'm actually gonna make you confident did he did he yes oh wow wow oh my god but that reminds me of the meme that's going around

right now and it says the what the equivalent of somebody who keeps repeating the word over and over during sex is the same as yelling parkour oh my god parkour i wish that i could find the meme and word it perfectly but it's like you know like michael scott on the office he's like he's like announcing what he's doing yeah it's like people that there are those people that just repetitively just say the word during sex yeah yeah i'm not i don't know something about it was just so funny to me because we've all had somebody's i know do that i love it i that's why i like married sex because it's like safe you know what's gonna happen but it's also can be fun and also you can be like i'm not getting there so that's okay yeah and you're like you know what

babe i'm tired and i really had a hard day of organizing the drawers yeah like let me live you know what i mean have you ever made out with a girl i haven't i wish i would have i like not in like uh do you want to try now please don't i will quit i would quit i've like kissed girls but it was like during like drinking games like back in college okay not like kiss with tongue i can't remember oh wow i don't think so it wasn't obviously that memorable i know it wasn't memorable practiced kissing in the seventh grade with my friend melissa and we put like a washcloth between our mouths because we were like what's gonna happen i don't know what to do like that's cute so then we and then i think maybe at some point we lost

the washcloth because we're like this doesn't feel realistic practice kissing on her but that was for practice yeah and then i did i think i was like drunk in high school and like you do that stupid thing where you like are like trying to impress a guy yeah and you like kiss i don't have your password so none of us are that exciting no no i'm really boring like i remember there was a time in my 20s when everyone was going to what are the clubs in new york oh my god i can't remember vikisha and like all the next girls and that's girls would go and everyone's making out with a girl and i was just like ah like just doesn't seem the thing for me it's so crazy the shit that you do as a girl in your 20s because you think it's going to impress a people i know the weird

okay this is a great ending the weirdest place you've ever done it i did it in i've done it in many weird places because when you have no apartment when you live with six people and the upper west side of manhattan you get creative you get creative because you can't actually have sex alone um i think the grossest weirdest place i ever had sex was in the angels and kings bathroom oh no new york city i've known so many people that have had sex in that bathroom and there's angels and kings only had one bathroom and it was fucking disgusting it wasn't like a stall where like there was four stalls it was like literally a room with a toilet and so for you to take the time out of your life to have sex in there like so many people were pooping their pants like it

was crazy it was disgusting and like all you could do was lean over and touch the floor because like you were like just yeah it was that was so nasty nasty nasty but it was hot because the light was red the light was red uh i had sex in a club bathroom yeah um but it was with a boyfriend so like i guess it wasn't that exciting i think it's fun uh oh i had sex on the 50 yard line at um a high school when i was in high school so it wasn't that creepy like we're ending on our hours out of high school two months ago no this was after hours and i'm arrested and she's on the what is it the child predator like don't you get for peeing in a park yeah what is it um the what's the where you can look on a map like to see who's a no idea but

like i don't want sex offender oh sex offender oh my god that reminds me of the funniest story i've ever heard the funniest story about a sex offender no my friend so my friend's husband had his family in town we're all very close and we have dinners together and we've gotten really close with like his parents and and so we're all telling stories about them being young and he he comes from three boys in the family so it's just chaos you know and she's his mom was saying that one night she got out them all out of the bath they're all under like seven and they're like wrestling and they're doing this thing and they're doing this thing and she said she walked in the room and like one of them was butt naked with like their balls on the back of their

brother's neck oh my god and he was like hey get off me you sex offender and she was like where did you hear that word and her four-year-old screaming at the other kid that he was a sex offender oh my god so now we call him the sex offender it's not funny but it So it's literally not funny at all, but like kind of funny. Get off me, you sex offender. Okay. Jack? When you have an ex-boyfriend that is crazy, narcissist, psychopath, that is obsessed with

that kind of stuff. Yeah. I've had sex in many weird places. Everywhere. Yeah. Lots of public places. H&M bathroom. No.

Top shop dressing room. Ew. Gross. Top shop? sexy mature wasn't great oh my god i know i could see that okay well on this note what was the like what was he trying on highest stakes yeah highest stakes i mean that's a pretty high state that's why i'm asking i'm pretty sure that they have um cameras curtain curtains yeah like there's no door no there's no shower curtain yeah okay that was the highest it's pretty high

that's i think that's high yeah for sure but not like one time i was behind a couple on a plane they were so drunk that the guy was fingering thinking they were being incognito yeah like that's pretty high stakes that is disgusting and should be illegal i think it probably is illegal i hate it so much you know what i love the lady gang our book the lady lady the lady secrets i said the lady secrets lady secrets is available hop on now to the lady gang.com slash books you can pre-order a book right now wherever you get books walmart barnes and noble amazon tarjay your local bookstore and when you enter your receipt number in our website you're gonna get a 20 gift card to our site so you can buy a shirt you can buy whatever

and you're gonna get an instant digital download of my essay about george clooney which is i know George Clooney seems like an elder, but it's actually really funny. So we're so excited about the book. We're so excited to come on tour. We'll see you in your city this fall. And we weren't here for a long time. We were here for a good time. Thanks for listening. The Lady Gang is produced by Alex Ingber, Steve Delameter, and Jared Monaco. Make sure you subscribe, rate, and review our podcast. And if you love it, share it with your friends on social media, like, oh my God, I just listened to Lady Gang. This episode's so great. Swipe up to listen. And if If you really want to, which we know you do, please follow us on social.

At Kelty, at Becca, at Jack Vanek, and at The Lady Gang. Sign up for our newsletter at theladygang.com and join our secret Facebook group. It's super fun. See you next Tuesday. This episode of Lady Gang is brought to you by the new Hyundai Palisade. When it comes to your journey, Hyundai is thinking of every mile. Learn more at hyundaiusa.com. All month long, the biggest movies are streaming free on Pluto TV's Popcorn Summer Movies.

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