LadyGang - LG QUICKIE: Not Today, Satan!

Episode Date: July 12, 2018

With a cameo from a whiny Calle "The Street Dog" Knight, the Ladies examine the difference between Brittney Spears amazing catwalk videos versus her stilted photo pose before answering box questions about ideal tattoo messages, handling work trolls, bachelorette parties and finding some self-love. Follow the podcast on Instagram @theladygang and you can email Jac, Becca and Keltie at Hello [e-mail]! And thank you to today's sponsors: Amazon = Go to amazon.com/shop/ladygang to find their favorite products while keeping the podcast FREE!  digster.fm = Go to digster.fm/ladygang to follow, share, and listen to our “Lady Gang” playlist  LaCroix = For more information join the LaCroix community at @lacroixwater or check them out at www.LaCroixwater.com  LOLA – For 40% off your first order, visit mylola.com and enter LADYGANG40   See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey Ontario! Come on down to BetMGM Casino and check out our newest exclusive, The Price is Right Fortune Pick. Don't miss out! Play exciting casino games based on the iconic game show, only at BetMGM. Access to The Price is Right Fortune Pick is only available at BetMGM Casino. BetMGM and GameSense remind you to play responsibly. 19 plus to wager. Ontario only. Please play responsibly. If you have questions or concerns about your gambling or someone close to you, please contact ConnexOntario at 1-866-531-2600 to speak to an advisor free of charge. BetMGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with iGamingOntario. Hey guys, the following podcast is a Lady Gang Network and Podcast One production,

which means it's going to be awesome. It's time for a quickie. Podcast One presents The Lady Gang, the Hollywood girl posse with Lady Gang quickie. Here's Kelty Knight, Becca Tobin, and Jack Vanek. Let's make this quick. Hello, hello, hello, and welcome to The Lady Gang. I'm Becca with Kelty.

Kelty? what was my name that they call me Kalit Knight someone on podcast one not to call them out but like girl it was a different podcast and you know how sometimes we promote other podcasts in the network and she was doing

an ad and she was like hey you should check out the podcast I love Lady Gang and it was like hosted by Becca Tobin Jack Vanek and Kalit Knight and I was like you've never listened to this show liar she's a liar

okay can we have a quote please yes you sure can thank you so much for asking this is also a Meryl Streep quote because there were two and I couldn't decide which one to get so there's like Meryl after Meryl or Meryl Meryl sorry okay put blinders onto those

things that conspire to hold you back especially the messages in your own head I'm not gonna lie I wasn't listening to that say it again one more time for the cheap seats in the back

put blinders onto those things that conspire to hold you back especially the messages in your own head put blinders on to your nastiness but I can't put blinders on to things I hear you can't put blinders on to your own brain yes you can

you have to teach yourself no I know this because after my accident every time I drive I see the accident again and again and I constantly think I'm going to get in the accident and then I go down like a deep dive hole and I'm like nope pull yourself out of there not thinking these thoughts right now pull it up blinders on

Satan brain I actually did the same thing I used to have the worst anxiety once my head would hit the pillow to go to bed like I'd start worrying about every like money and relationships and like I'm going to die one day like every single worry would come to my head this is before I started smoking

weed too i'm gonna die i had to teach myself the same thing i had to like literally train my brain to be saying is this quote is amazing it's better than i thought it was when i wasn't listening to it it'll do it'll do okay what are you grateful for girls if i had blinders on though i wouldn't do anything you just nap i wouldn't think you're so great you're like i don't need to do shit no because the only reason i the only thing that drives me is like see other people i gotta do that you gotta keep up look at that person crushing life i should do that i don't yeah otherwise i i would live in like a shack on the beach shocking to everyone in lady game land becca still hates the inspirational quote see i always end up coming around do you think i'm a

contrarian yeah you do kind of what does that mean i think i'm okay never mind no i mean are you like always like kind of go like against the grain of like what i like to play devil's advocate i like to see no i think you do i think you are but i think a contrarian is more somebody that's like just for the sake of of being opposite yeah like people like that yeah yeah people that are like oh my god i hated hamilton yeah you didn't you just don't want to admit that you like it because everybody else did a guy like that was so annoying because i love basic things that everybody loves because there's a reason everybody loves it yeah it's usually good yeah uggs are comfortable the population speaks they do it's true froyo's great froyo's delicious all right

are we doing gratitude yeah i just asked you guys oh um i'm grateful for thanks underwear because sometimes you get your period a week early in the middle of the night and sometimes you don't have a tampon yep and thank god for my thanks underwear not an ad but yeah they're great hashtag not sponsored but like please sponsor us no i i love them stock up on oh that makes me that reminds me i really have to get toothpaste after this oh my god i'm so inspired i was gonna say stock up on tampons you do you only buy enough for like a week no i usually do but then you know you run out and then you're off your period and you don't think about buying tampons when you're not bleeding so right you're right i steal so many tampons it's like my jam so where my tampons

in my office went i've never stolen them from here okay it's just my new thing because i'm really annoyed that i have to start buying them again yeah it's like it's like a smoker that like isn't really a smoker you'll only like have somebody else's exactly we were on location in canada and shooting in this like weird country club situation and i was like this place is lux look at that box of tampons i'll take seven thank you better than buying them um i'm not grateful Kelty I am grateful for

apps for apps like appetizers apps apps on your phone you guys we get to live we really went to

two completely different things that was not what you Jack's like what a time to be alive curly fries I was like ooh apps and drinks

me too no sometimes I think about the sad days like last week I was trying to deposit a check and I couldn't deposit

online because the app was down and I was like, oh, like I have to go to the bank. Like, how easy is it to be like, here's my investments. Click. Here's my bank. Click. Here's where my Nordstrom order is. Click.

Here's where my last photo was a year ago. Click. It is very nice. You know what I mean? It's kind of crazy. Like, oh, I need to know what my, I need to know when my next flight is. App. App.

App. Like, I can't wait till we make the Lady Gang app. You don't have to talk to anybody, which is great. Or interact with another human whatsoever for anything in life anymore. Apps are amazing. I love apps. I love technology, and I especially love my good apps. And an appetizer.

And a nice bloomin' onion. And abdominals. Abdominals. Okay, are you going to be grateful or are you not? I'm grateful. I got, I got, no, I forgot. I think I just had a stroke. Let's move on.

Cool. Great one. Oh, I know what I'm grateful for. Okay. It's been months of some skin issues, and I'm out of the woods, and I haven't had a pimple in a while. Because of your retin-A? From a combination of many things. So your detox phase is over.

Yeah. Detox is over. Yeah. Congrats. Thank you. Thank God you didn't have zits on your movie. Yeah, I wouldn't have really cared. They can cover that up later, but you can't be the romantic lead and have a zit, Jennifer Aniston.

What happens when they do? Sometimes they pay. Makeup, or they'll pay to fix it. Like, Facetune it later. Like, on camera. Oh, wow. Like, Photoshop it out? Holy crap.

Digital. It's really expensive. That sounds expensive. Yeah. Sometimes, well, most music videos, Facetune. So it's like the Mariah Carey's Christina Aguilera's shares of the world. They all, like, make themselves taller and stuff. Okay.

When we come back, we're going to go inside your box. Becca! Why me? That's not it. Don't shake it too hard. No! What's in the Lady Gang box? What's in the box?

Okay. We're in the box. Get in the box. Get at me, box. You ready? Yeah, better be good. Becca's going first. I put some new ones in there.

Oh. Biggies. I circled the one I want you to ask. Oh, Jesus. Okay. What do you feel more often? Gratitude? Oh, my God.

What? Or envy? What are you most grateful for? Wait, no. Well, this sucks. That's not good. Why did I do that? Well, I'll say I feel...

I think I... I feel envy more. I feel very... I feel like it's hard to not feel envy in this day and age. Great job, everyone. Envy is the thief of joy. Thank you, Meryl Streep. Are these all new questions?

No, there's old ones, too. Okay, if you had to tattoo your arm with a message to yourself, what would you write? I already have tattoos on my arm. Great. What are they? But they're not really messages to myself. But I have a... This is a tattoo.

If I had to give a message to myself... On a tattoo that you had to look at every day. Work, bitch. You better work. Oh, my God. Do you guys follow Britney Spears on Instagram? She's amazing. Duh.

She's amazing. I can't get over her catwalks that she does. I love that. And also that she poses for pictures just standing up straight like a log. Yeah. Like a log. With her arm. You could really teach her a thing or two about Instagram posing.

God, you could. Oh, my God. We need to do that on the TV show. Me teaching her how to Instagram pose? Fashion. Let's do it. Please. Oh, my God.

God. So funny. I went down to K-Hole on her Instagram the other night because I'm like, it's so good. You're like the best performer of our generation and you stand for a picture like the most rigid. Like a cheerleader. Yeah. She's like, I love it. I love it.

I love that hot boyfriend of hers together. He almost has a million followers on Instagram too. He's hot. He should. He's Britney Spears' boyfriend. I know, but who is he? She's a slave for him. I think he's an actor.

I think he's a trainer. He's a personal trainer slash model. They met on the, he was a love interest in the Slumber Party video. Oh. I don't know why I know that. I don't either. I know so many useless information things. That's so weird.

What tattoo would you get on your body? This Too Shall Pass. Oh, that's a good one. I mean, I won't get that. Original. But like, that's what, okay, haterade, have a sip. That's what I need on my arm. George Harrison is a classic.

That's what I need. That's what it is? Yes. Oh. This Too Shall Pass is George Harrison lyric? It was an album. What? It's also before that, like a pretty like Shakespearean, like this too shall pass.

Anyway, because I always get like really in the moment and I'm like, ah, but like the truth is in 10 years, I'm not going to care about you bitches. Oh yeah, sure. I'm going to be in Costa Rica with my baby goats and little Callie is going to be eating squirrels and I'm not going to have to pay for dog food and it's going to be amazing. There you go. I would actually tell myself to be in the moment more. Oh.

Because I can't. But is that like a tattoo you want on yourself? Be in the moment. actually have on my arm yeah i don't know i always wanted to get a dm i was carpe dm um you know what i was actually thinking about is how joe jonas has yolo on his finger yeah like does that get old it's already old i would think but i feel like it might have a resurgence now so i love priyanka and no nick together no wait what no yeah how old is she 35 how old is he 25 i love it holy shit i love it i don't know why i love it i hate it it's

probably like a tigress in the bedroom yeah probably like a little like i feel it i feel like he's probably like pretty good he's probably good in bed no he's shorter than her he's in my opinion she is dating down at the moment i disagree i just think it's weird it's she's miss india she's miss world so he dated miss universe olivia colpo nick jonas is like a exactly was she dating down she was dating up he was more famous priyanka's more famous i don't think she's more famous than nick jonas no way i was like a household name everybody knows who nick jones compare their bank accounts okay he's like could literally buy her and sell her 45 times he's more famous he's a mogul at

this point she just seems like such a woman and he seems like such a little pips week in a sneaker i actually think that if i had to be single again which please god don't make me i would date like a 20 year old i'm into this i have recently had some things with some younger men and it's exciting it's not the worst yeah because it's like things like i kind of fell in love with my skydive instructor in hawaii who's 25 well it's it's fun because you're not number one there are some guys that are 25 that are way more together than somebody that's 40 i don't want them put together i want it to be a big mess and just hot i want to just write you i made you a mixtape they're hot they are yeah this is the only way you can show his love

i made you a playlist on spotify like remember he nick jonas likes women like he was with kate hudson yeah he loves a woman he but he's so small i mean listen i wouldn't date him he i don't know i think that he did wish me a happy birthday on the live grammy telecast that no one saw because golf channel was on that's right that was nice of him elena told me elena told him but he did it pay it on so happy birthday did you record it are you gonna keep it forever well i wish i could but they created us with golf so no one saw me okay great what's in the box okay next callie don't cry callie what's the matter baby go to the bathroom she probably does come here okay next question in the box if i can compete in an olympic sport i'd like it to be curling oh shit because

you drink beer during it you do yeah they drink beer while they curl it just looks so fun i feel like the winter olympics is a really sexy vibe for women like the downhill skiers oh yeah like our snowboarders snowboarders are so sick yeah actually fun fact becca wanted all of us to dress like apres ski for her um night before the wedding party and she was like everyone's this apres how you say apres ski yeah apres ski party and jack and i for months planned our lycra onesies which did look a lot like a down hair skier outfit it was like head to toe lycra skin tight whatever we were so excited we were like we are going to represent like we can't actually cozy chic oh it was wasn't it no i thought it was apres anyway no we went there we were the only people

dressed up it wasn't a costume party it was just like a vibe no no that's why i never ended up wearing mine because mine was like this printed maroon one tight onesie and i remember getting dressed being like I feel uncomfortable. Yeah. So I think I ended up wearing a furry hat and then that was it.

Yeah. Anyway, we tried. Callie's eating the microphone. She's trying to talk. What sport would you do? Oh, figure skating for sure. Really? Oh, yeah.

Yeah, I can see that. I love the outfits. You're so Nancy Kerrigan. I'm so Nancy. Why? Why? I just met the actress that played her

in I, Tonya this weekend. What was her name? Katie something? Oh. Yeah. Next question. Oh, Kelty is hashtag not impressed. I'm like, who's next?

Jack's next. Callie, what's in the box? What's in the box? Callie's not a virgin. She's not. I know. I'm saying I can't believe it. She had a baby.

Dealing with work trolls. Oh, God. So many things to say. Becca, why don't you go first? I haven't really experienced work trolls. Just say maybe trolls in general. Just trolls in general because I don't have work trolls either. Well, it depends what these work trolls are doing.

If it's not affecting you and they're just, like, annoying, ignore it. I also find that when I want to really hate somebody, I say to myself that everybody is is just doing the best that they can with what they have and for some people that's not a lot and I mean like you know so I don't know I think I have

I think you have to use a little more empathy because you also can't perpetuate the thinking that this person is a troll because then everything they do is just going to like compound and you're just going to be like blah so instead it's like maybe take a deep breath when that person does something if it's affecting you

like you know completely I don't know what I'm trying to say. Anyways, you can say to them bitch, step off. But if it's just that they're like annoying or like whatever. Well, I've done a case study

in work trolls and I will tell you I've done it both ways. The first thing I did in Kelty fashion was I didn't like the conflict so I went with my tail between my legs even though I did not do anything wrong to deserve this troll dumb in my brain. I did not feel I did. And I went and said, hey, we haven't been our best selves.

Let's have a come to Jesus. I'm going to apologize for what I've done to make you feel bad, even though I don't think I'm doing anything. But I'm going to apologize. I'm going to put my tail between my legs. And we had a come to Jesus moment. And then two weeks later, it was like back to the same old shit. If you're dealing with a psychopath or a troll, they will never change. The best thing you can do, which I have found out, is to not feed the fire.

so you can't talk about them to anyone else unless it's your husband trusted best friend who doesn't work in that building like not even the person at work that's your friend because that friend's probably backstabbing you by telling the person they can have zero flame nothing gas to go off of and to like make the fire worse they can know nothing you do not look them in the eye do not talk to them do not say hi in the hallway pretend they don't exist ghost them well that's the only would do that with and but with any kind of trolls like if you're dealing with people online or if somebody's doing something to you in any capacity engaging never works even if you have the best intentions are you trying to justify something that happened or you're trying to like

show your truth it never ever works by trolls you be killing with kindness ignore ignore them i like killing with kindness no makes people really uncomfortable doesn't work not a troll though Like, oh, my God, girl, you're so pretty. No. Not phony. Just, you know. Oh, my God. Best bachelorette parties and their themes.

Oh, no. Do bachelorette parties also have themes now? I don't know. I've never been to one with a theme. Honestly, I haven't been to that many bachelor parties. Bachelorette parties. I have. I'm not that fun.

I don't think I have that many friends that want me to be at their wedding. All my friends are still single. um i mean i think anytime it's like a fun trip that doesn't cost you too much money that's my favorite theme my favorite theme is one night only in the town i live in yeah here's a theme don't be a psycho and also just let everybody do what they want to do uh yeah it sucks like when you go to because i had a bachelorette party i'm not gonna say which city it was because i don't want to like give it away who a friend it was but i went to a really cool city i had never been to and all she wanted to do is keep going to the same bar every night like for hours and hours

and hours hell it is i'm like i want to see all the things i want to do all the activities it was a super sick city so like if you want to do this one thing or you know not experience things like don't get mad when people want to that sounds like hell go experience the city hand me the box what's in the box what's in the box Callie's eating oh this is such a nice one to end on you guys so nice

self love what about it just this is the topic we have to talk about oh cricket cricket I don't know what go ahead I had a week like a full

week where I was finally back in LA and I was like oh I'm so tired of like being on somebody else's schedule like working and blah blah blah blah blah I want to like take advantage of the free time that I have to do self-love yeah but here and so here's what I realized like halfway through this time I kept committing to bullshit things for other people like I just kept saying yes to things and I was in my car one day and I was like, I haven't spent a single moment since I've been back for myself. And so I just, my new for the rest of 2018 is like, I'm not doing anything for anybody else. That's why I never do anything for anybody else. My new life motto is you're

out of luck, Pete. Yeah. I'm not going anywhere. I don't want to go. I'm not seeing anyone Then I won't want to see. I'm not doing it. The power of no. It's really nice. It's going to be great. I'm not doing shit you don't want to do. So does that mean if I ask you to do something and you say yes, that means you really want

to do it? Or do you feel because we're in Lady Gang together, you kind of have to? Well, that's also work. That's like work. So I actually have to do that. But like just stupid shit that I found myself driving all over and committing and being tired. No thanks.

Yeah. No thanks. Bye. Not today, Satan. Not today, Satan. You friends. um i'd say okay so i know everybody is their worst critic in everything in life i just constantly like i'm thinking about everything that i could be doing better or whatever and especially when

it comes to like how i look i've always had problems with like self-image and stuff you grew up in la yeah but i yeah being in la is awesome you're a four even if you're pretty um but i've really been trying to look at myself in the mirror and actually look because i have a weird thing with my face i don't know what i look like i have like body dysmorphia yeah totally i get that so i feel like a little control in like every picture i take and i've been trying to look at myself in the mirror and being like okay i like this feature about myself and really thinking about it and starting to believe it because usually i look in the mirror and i'm like oh my god my eyes are asymmetrical oh my face is going this way oh i have a wrinkle here and it's really

easy to get caught up in like all your flaws and i'm just trying to not it's hard but i think it helps a little bit i love that at least to be like a little bit proactive self-love you really are beautiful though there's been so many times i'm like i wish i look like jack just fyi all the time i think you just have a cool face i feel like a troll anyways especially now that your eyebrows are done it's like microblading changes everything that changed everything yeah that was like such an insecurity they're so good thanks okay self-love for me um i don't really know i'm pretty good at it you are i know yeah you are but i love to be alone and just do my own thing and i'm i have no problem being super selfish about the time like you're like oh i'm saying

no to anything i don't want to do i'm like that's been me my whole life like me too i don't go to your party i don't say yes to things just because i feel like i have to like i just don't go like and everyone knows about me that's probably why i don't have any friends but that's how i am like i only do things like my five friends here's the thing that pisses me off though it's like i have friends and like some of them can handle it if i just don't go don't go and like i've tried to amputate the ones who care but those are the ones that are the hardest to fucking get rid of 100 but i've cut yeah no i don't have a god like it's right here with our lives it's really tough like it's like and you don't want to hurt people so then you're like i can't be a dick and be you

know they didn't do anything wrong right it's who they are but also like everybody can't just assume that you're gonna put your life on hold to be at x event or whatever it is like i don't know it's just hard i have friends who like if you don't reach out for a while they make like snide comments to like i haven't heard from you in a while yeah or like they'll compare with other friends have you seen her lately and if they've seen me it's like oh my god it's just what the sounds toxic that sounds like a not good friendship yeah that sounds like a bad friend it's like me yeah i don't have needy friends well on that note thank god we're all friends sort of not really me and elena no it has to be my friend when's the last time you and elena did something for fun

as a couple we went and got lunch yesterday while you were working yeah but we didn't Did we talk about work? No, we talked about working and fun and visiting. Did we talk about work? No, we talked about work. We do fun things. We've been to, like, a little party thing. Yeah, we go to parties.

Sometimes I take her to a party. Like, once in, like, two years. But your job is to go to a party. Okay. Well, anyway. Elena and I went to go see Larry David once. Oh, we did. Are you going to do the tagline?

Becca's upset. I was drinking. Okay. We're not here for a... Shut up, Jack. I'm an actress. I know my line. We're not here for a long time.

But we're here for a good time. That escalated quickly. Thanks for joining us on Lady Gang Quickie. Check out new episodes of Lady Gang every Tuesday and more quickies every Thursday on PodcastOne.com, the Podcast One app, and Apple Podcasts.