LadyGang - LG QUICKIE: RANTGANG

Episode Date: June 6, 2024

Sometimes we just want to RANT! For today's quickie we go on an epic rant about tipping for things that don't require tipping, the worst dates we've ever been on, and things that are a lot worse than people think. Rant with us GANG! Check out our amazing sponsors!!! BetterHelp: LadyGang is brought to you by BetterHelp! Visit BetterHelp.com/ladygang to get 10% off your first month! Aura: Get a 14 day trial PLUS a check of your data ALL FOR FREE at Aura.com/trust  Huggies: Get your baby’s butt into Huggies’ best fitting diaper! Huggies Little Movers. We got you, baby. Visit Apartments.com - THE place to find a place!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

It's time for a quickie. Podcast one presents the Lady Gang, the Hollywood girl posse with Lady Gang Quickie. Here's Kelty Knight, Becca Tobin and Jack Vanek. Let's make this quick. Hello, hello, hello. Welcome to Lady Gang Quickie. I am Becky here with Jack and Kelty. Hello.

Hi. Gloomy Monday morning. I mean, gloomy. I don't know what day it is. Morning in LA. I'm in the clouds. you know i live up in the hill and i woke up in a cloud this morning june bloom sexual is real i hate it i it is a bummer well california weather is so weird it's like delayed

our summer doesn't start until like july and then it lasts until december and we're all screwed up yeah why is that i don't know the marine layer i don't even know what that means science podcast science we're smart we're so smart well today on the podcast we're gonna do a show called the rant gang i'm really big on putting words instead of lady in front of we had sex gang and there's more coming by the way there's more coming um and i just thought i am filled with in the words of taylor swift i think it she calls it female rage um oh yeah i don't She invented that. Oh, no. I was going to say it feels pretty like part of their English vernacular. Anyway, so I feel male rage. I am so ragey. And I don't know why. You know,

it's all emotions, of course. But I feel like ragey anger. Like I need to – I was feeling really ragey yesterday. And so I was like, okay. And I went to a Pilates class, but I went to the really advanced Pilates class where you do like the splits and then you flip upside down. And like, it took a lot of effort and I was like sweaty and I was like, rage. I was like, so happy to rage. I just am ragey. And so I thought we'd do an episode based on my own emotions called the rage. Oh no, no, this is not the rage gang. This is the rant gang. We're going to rant and it's going to get me out of my rage. Sorry. I don't know where rage came from. Yeah. That went all over the place. Okay. So I'm going to ask you questions and you are going to rant on the

question. Are you ready? Yep. What do you consider a total waste of money? Oh Lord. Um, new underwear, waste of money. That's like the best spent money ever. I can, I have such a hard time bringing myself. I think we've talked about this on here. Like, yeah, not that it's a waste, but I just, it's crazy. Cause I'm like, I'll buy a new pair of jeans, even though I have perfectly fine jeans in my closet and not feel like that's a waste of money, but maybe cause no one sees my underwear. I'm like, well, what, who is this for? But I need to have more self-love. That's what this is. No, but you'll pull out the stringiest, worst, crinkled, like, you know, whatever little metal tassel, not a tassel, but you know, like the little connector pieces are like hanging by a

thread do you guys remember the thongs that just had the little triangle in the back like that was my first thong that I ever got in seventh grade and I thought I was like so sexual yeah I have the worst news Chris Knight requested one of those oh wow like he showed you a picture does he have a Pinterest board I've been thinking about you in because I think it's like a junior high I think so too. I wear like normally a hanky panky or a skims kind of lace thong, you know, but like I don't wear like the floss. It does nothing for your figure. It just kind of sits there kind of sideways. My sister, speaking of hanky panky, I couldn't stop laughing the other day. She doesn't get regular spray tans. It's really like a once every year for a wedding or

an event or something. So she goes and gets a spray tan and she sends me a picture after and she left on her hanky panky. So she had like a lacy, it looked like a doily across her ass. And I was like, Jessica, why did you do that? And she goes, because they told me that I could either be nude, which I didn't want to be or keep the underwear on. And I said, they meant the disposable underwear, like the little teeny tiny thong. And I go, so you walked out of there with not only an imprint of a doily but also soggy spring tan panties like well number one that's the tanning place's fault like why would they do that to her they knew that she was like a first time tanner when jessica walks in with that pale ass skin you know she's not been here in a year you

just you know you know when people are like jack comes like fully prepared in her in her like zip up like hazmat suit. And she's like, don't touch me. Well, also I'm like, is this the new thing? Like, you know how we had like the playboy bunny stickers? Like maybe this is the new cool thing. And she started a trend. Like it looks like a skin disorder. Yeah. Probably a rash of some sort. Um, okay. Well, total waste of money. I am, I am a really good tipper. Like I will tip I, and I tip people that I know are making their money on tips. Like if I go to a restaurant or if I go to a Starbucks, I'm like, you know what? You 25%, like a boom dropped it on you. The thing that's bugging me about the tipping is when I'm tipping

you for nothing. Like I, I, I don't know that I need to, as an example, to be tipping the CVS pharmacy. Do you know what I mean? Like I'm like, is that an option? No, I know. But you know what I'm saying? If someone really wants to make a splash, you know, they'll, they'll open up an establishment where it is just the walk. Cause you're talking about when you go to a coffee shop, you're like, you know, the burrito, but a grab and go or even a grab and go. Cause even a barista, you should be tipping the barista. So people who have a problem when you go to a coffee shop and then they're like the airport grab and go. Or the smoothie bar. No, it's more so things that like aren't service-based that are asking for tips now. Like it's just, it's like

random thing. Like you buy something on a website. I've seen literal like clothing stores on websites where it's like, you want to leave a tip? I'm like, for what? I'm just confused. Well, I would, I would challenge you this. I know everybody's upset when you go to like a walk-up smoothie bar or whatever, because you're like, but nobody waited on me. Nobody did this and that. Think of it as you're not tipping the person who's plugging in your order in the computer in front of you. You're tipping most of those places, pool tips. So you're actually tipping the person making your smoothie, making your coffee, making your sandwich, whatever. So don't think of it as like you're tipping a server. You're tipping the staff at a restaurant because most restaurants

don't pay a great wage outside of the tip well that's i mean that's the bigger issue nobody's paying a living wage so we're relying on tips right but that's another conversation another combo but yes i'm my thing that i've spent way too much money on and i think is bullshit is face filler and any and a lot of these like non-invasive procedures that med spas are like pushing on you that don't do anything and cost as much as surgery. Like it's crazy. Some of these lasers and like injectables that have like no results. It's scary. I mean, you've been the guinea pig of doing things to your face for this lady gang. And I appreciate you saying this because you know what? Being lovely and happy is the best medicine. Like how many times,

I honestly, I just went for an IPL, which I live and die by an IPL. And I was like, I just paid $700 and I still have swatches on my chest and I am pissed. And I even wrote them. I was like, I don't think your machine works. And they're like, no, you just can't expect that good of results anymore. And I was like- It's like a 20% result. You're like, that was $3,000. Yeah. I'm like, well, 700. Okay. I want $300 in results. And I don't feel like I got that. Yeah. The best thing I ever learned from, you know, the beauty broker, we had her on the podcast a while ago. She's really amazing at pointing out that everyone's using marketing tactics, like lifting the skin, lifting, lifting, lifting, whether it comes to fillers or lasers or

certain microneedling techniques, but really like there's only one thing that's going to lift your skin and that is a facelift. So until then you can do other things like the lasers that help with dark spots and all that stuff where you can see the physical change from dark spots to getting better. I still think those are great, but I love that now we're busting the myth that you can do fillers and all these other crazy things to your face to give yourself a younger looking face. Cause I don't think that that's the case. Well, it's like fillers, not lifting your face. no it's stretching your chin did you do threads yes oh yeah yeah didn't work right no well and then the threads wasn't a dr diamond that was telling us that the threads end up leaving like

all this scar tissue in your face so when you do get a facelift it's a lot harder to do that because it's just like so much junk underneath your face yeah i don't know there's just so much shit out there like all of these doctors and med spas it's like this and this and this new cellulite any cellulite treatment doesn't work oh my god you did that too right yeah you are a guinea pig but none of them were i mean i've given up i don't care about cellulite anymore but like any all these things it's like yes 20 improvement but then you again paid like five thousand dollars to do something i was fortunate enough that i you got a lot of these procedures for free through like influencing stuff but like i can't imagine people are they're paying full price for these

things that it's like, I'm the biggest skeptic too, though. Like I look at myself and I don't think anything works, but then I look at old pictures of me. I'm like, okay, maybe a little bit, but 20%, maybe a little bit. Yeah. The lady gang. Um, what is a lot worse than people seem to think it is getting a tattoo removed. Oh my God. People are like, Oh, you can just get it removed. Let me tell you the fires of hell that exist on my tramp stamp through the removal of the tramp stamp. You can't just get a tattoo removed guys. And when laser away puts their, you on their email blast and they're like, come on in, in six sessions. Nope. I'm 25 sessions in that the tramp stamp is still there. It is so painful. It's the worst pain I've ever felt in

my life. The skin bubbles up because it's, you're essentially burning underneath your skin. I mean, it's doing pretty good. Like it's, but you know, about three years from now, I won't have a tramp stamp anymore, but holy man, it is so difficult. Also, also when they, um, what's it called when they thread your upper lip or eyebrow threading, it hurts freaking crazy. Yeah. I was going to say I went with my best friend to get to one of her sessions to get her tramp stamp removed. And I have never seen anybody in more pain in my entire life. And then they post about like they do instagrams where they're like doing tattoo removal it literally looks like it's just like oh it's like a magic eraser yeah it's like oh it's gone we're blowing the air on you and i'm like

no no no can you do laughing gas there's no laughing gas available at laserway sherman oaks but well maybe you should find a place that has it yeah dude that pro what is it called pro football is pro the i'm not pro football what's it called no what the hell is it called whatever i did it yeah that they do at med spas i don't know whatever i did it when i got my that morpheus treatment done i'm like i was catapulted into a different universe and i'm like and then i drove it was very weird what i think because it wears off pretty quickly it wears off immediately once you like don't breathe it in your next breath it's gone but i'm like that i'm like this is probably what salvia feels like when you're just like what's

salvia salvia is like this legal like hallucinogen that used used to be able to buy it like smoke shops and it would get you like massively high for like five minutes i think it's probably illegal at this point but everybody used to do it when i was like it's like um what's the huffing thing that poppers oh yeah not a popper it was like yeah becca what's worse what's something that's worse than people seem to think it is? What's a lot worse than people seem to think? Changing a diaper. No, actually all the, all the parenting stuff people say is so hard is actually not that hard. I think cause there's, we've done a really good job with like making like child rearing sound miserable. But if you prep people that it's going to be miserable, then you get there and

you're like, Oh, this isn't actually hell on earth. Oh, um, nothing with children actually. I mean, I've never given birth, but I'm sure that's pretty terrible, but we kind of know that. Yeah. Oh, I know. Well, no, no, it's not worse than people think it is because everybody's experienced it. But pulling a muscle in your back is so bad when you try to explain it to somebody. We're so old.

My lower back has been pulled out for two weeks and I'm scared it's never going to go back. But like, you know, when you pull a muscle and it's literally the worst pain in the world and you're trying to explain it to somebody, but like, nobody's going to have the empathy for you that like you really want because you can't see it it's like please feel bad for me I had something like that with my neck sometimes every like once a year I'll get like a crick in my neck where it is so painful and it's debilitating like I would rather have any other ailment in that moment than the neck it's so bad yeah so bad okay this is something we've

talked about on lady gang before but we have so many new listeners so I want to bring it back to the front. The worst date you've ever been on. Rant. Oh my God. There's so many. Mine was the one that the guy pretended to be roofied when in fact he had just drank too much. Explain this please. Okay. He was 28. I was, I think 18, which already red flag. I was living in New York and I met this guy. I don't remember where I had met him out, maybe at a bar, blah, blah, blah. And we went on a date to Tao in New York, which was like the place at the time. The place. And we had dinner, a lovely time. And then we went to a bar. I wish I could remember the name of this bar because anybody who lived in New York would

remember. It was like 80s rock hair band music. It was kind of divey, but that's all that they played. It was really fun. And he had been drinking like all night, you know, pretty steadily. And I remember him getting increasingly more up. And at a certain point I looked at him and he was like cross-eyed about to fall over. So then I was like, okay, we're going to get you in a cab and get you home. So I managed to get him in the cab. I got him back to his apartment. He had a doorman. So we went up and I put him in his apartment and I was like, okay, bye weirdo. And then I left. And the next morning he called me like over and over and over. And then finally I answered and he was like, you're never going to believe where I am right now. And I was like, where? He goes,

I'm in the hospital. Last night, my doorman found me with the door, a jar and me on the ground. And they called the ambulance. And it turns out last night I was roofied. And he's like, do you remember those guys trying to get you to take a shot? I think there was a roofie in it. And I was like, I'm like, I may be 18, but I'm not dumb enough to think that there were guys wanting to roofie me at a bar when I was there on a date with you. Like they're not going to benefit at all. Are they going to knock you out and kidnap me? Like it was so farfetched and so insane. And he was so his name was Jake. So we referred to him as Jake the fake forever. And then later when Facebook became more, you know, of a thing, I had found him on Facebook and saw

that he had a daughter and the daughter predated this date with him and I. So he definitely didn't live with another person. He had an apartment and it was clear that it was his own, but I'm like, he either had a daughter and had, and just didn't tell me on a date that he also had a child, which is also shitty, especially when you're a child, especially when I'm a child. So I will never forget. I'm like, wow, he's just doesn't know how to hold his alcohol. And he just claims he's gets roofied all the time. Cause he's so embarrassed. That's a classic thing to do. Classic, classic thing to do. I just want to, when was the George are, when was he on the ground? You put him to bed. Exactly. I'm sitting there. I remember I was like out shopping with my

girlfriend and put him on speakerphone and it was so dramatic. And I'm like, well, I guess there could be a slight slight chance that he could have gotten himself back up open the door and like was heading out the door up or something but i think he just didn't know how to uh like how to have it be uncovered that he had been roofied so he needed some person to lie quote discover him discover he definitely lied i'm like uh i was 18 and i knew how it worked when you drank too much you blacked out. Like it was very, very simple. Jake the fake. Jake the fake. I love that. Was Jake hot? Jake was so hot. I forgive you, Jake. I forgive you. The loseriest ones are the hottest. It's true. My worst, well, I don't know. I've had so many horrible dates, but this is one

that comes to mind. I went on a date from a guy from a dating app and we had like the best banter, like blah, blah, blah, blah. He took me to La Pubelle, which is like a really cute French restaurant in Franklin village. It's where the Scientologists hang out. It is right across the street from the celebrity Scientology building. And we were on our day. It was like fine. Like we weren't like having all the chemistry in the entire world, but it was fine. And halfway through our day, he went up to the bathroom and he was gone for like 30 minutes, like a long, long time. and he had just broken up with somebody. So I'm like, is he like calling somebody else? Like, is he like, I don't know what he's doing. And he just like, did not come back. And then when he

finally came back, he was like, I got to go. Like something happened. Like, I got to go. I got to drop you off at home. So I was like, okay, I don't know what the going on, but he seems like emotionally like disturbed. So he finally drops me off at home. And I was in my era where I'm like every single day I have to make out with a guy. Like I have to for like a success. So I kind of like pushed it on him and we made out and because i was like i gotta know that he likes me so we have to kiss i don't know it was like something weird that i was doing and he he dropped me off and then like an hour later he was like i'm so sorry that i cut our date short i had food poisoning and i was throwing up in the bathroom the entire time did i tell you guys this story

already i feel like you have but i always forget it's always still so shocking it's so shocking and he was probably sharting himself when you were making out with him oh yeah no trying to like hold it in for dear life and i was just like no we have to make out no not that i remember i can't remember if he was shitting himself or puking oh my god but either way he was like i barely made it home did you guys go out again yeah so he asked me out and i was like i have to go out with him again like maybe he was feeling sick the entire day and it was like you know I have to give him another chance yeah and he was so boring which is the most exciting thing about him was his shart yes it was but I felt so bad I'm like I should stop forcing people

to make out with me yeah what's yours well I actually just I I want to know if anyone has this you know, I journaled my whole life and I have left out some things of my journal. And I, I have a memory of living in New York city. I lived in this crash pad in Queens. It was after my first divorce. I was kind of nuts. So bananas, super broke. And I remember meeting like this hot guy out at a bar and he was in a band. Everyone was in a band for an entire decade and he had eyeliner. And like, I, I remember him living really far out in Brooklyn. And did we have cell phones? Like, how did I communicate with him? I don't know. Somehow the date was you get on the train for two hours, come to my apartment, which he lived over top of like a restaurant in

Brooklyn, like super shitty and like, give me a blow job and then leave. Like that's the date. And like, wow. I just think about, I was thinking about this and like, I've had bad dates like yours, Jack, like where it's like something happens on it. But I was like, the desperation of being a 20 something girl and wanting someone to like you is so feral. Like, it's just like, what was I doing with my life that I was like, yes, you know what? I'll come to Brooklyn. Get on the train in the middle of the night. Get there. I don't know this person. like and then we have nothing to talk we just make out and then like he's like okay bye and I'm like okay and then I never hear from you again like it was just like so I can't believe

Kelty this is what they call a booty call I know but like I I don't know that I I just it's still a booty call girl I can't remember his name I don't know who he is I want to look him up I want to make sure he's following me on Instagram to know that he like really missed out you know like normally when I had a boyfriend or I dated someone I was so obsessed with them like i really have kept them in the wheelhouse and i've been able to like check in on their like love of me you know anyway lady i don't think you realize how men's brains work i know no i don't think they're like wow nobody's thinking of you sick outfit she gets to wear on e-news tonight like that's what women

do women are watching you being like what a sick outfit she looks amazing men aren't like like, and while she's interviewing Jennifer Garner, men are like, I, they're like, what are those? What are those boots? Yeah. They're like, they're like, she's crazy. Yes, exactly. You're right, man from Brooklyn with you. I just wish I knew what happened with the band. Did the band go? Like what happened? Like, are you Matt Healy? Like, I don't know. Did I make out with you? Like, I don't know. Anyway. Oh my God. Okay. Um, anyway, lady gate, we want to hear your worst date. I'm going to post this in the Facebook group. What is your worst day? And what's something you just want to rant about? I love to collect a rant. We'll come back to the podcast. We'll talk about

more things we want to rant about. The dumber, the better. I love to rant about something dumb. And we weren't here for a long time, but we're here for a ranty time. Good. Ooh, ranty time. Thank you so much for listening. The Lady Gang is produced by Steve Delameter, Stacey Parra, Jared Monaco, and social support from Amy Ryerson. It really means the world to us when you show up in our community outside the podcast. So sign up for our secret Facebook group. Just search The Lady Gang under Groups. Follow us on Instagram and TikTok at The Lady Gang.

And the most important thing you can do is share this episode with a friend. We would love that so much. Thanks for listening. She talks about etiquette. Get your fingers out of your mouth. She talks about where to find a deal. You know, if you sell me something on Instagram,

I buy it. Whoever markets to me does a fabulous job. She talks about the economy. We used to joke that'll be the thing to send them to therapy. Okay, we're creating jobs. Can we look at it that way? She talks about parenting. These kids want to come home. They don't want to leave. They don't want to drive. They want to stay in the womb. Let's talk with Heather Dubrow every Thursday on Podcast One or wherever you get your podcasts.