LadyGang - LG QUICKIE: Sara Bareilles Hates Becca's Tone

Episode Date: May 17, 2018

The Ladies talk about recharging their amazing Womanizers while answering your questions about dating offline and handling your boyfriend's friend.  Follow the podcast on Instagram @theladygang and you can email Jac, Becca and Keltie at Hello [e-mail]!  And thank you to today's sponsors:   Amazon – Go to amazon.com/shop/ladygang to find their favorite products while keeping the podcast FREE!  LOLA – For 40% off your first order, visit mylola.com and enter ladygang40  Tamara Mellon – Visit TamaraMellon.com and enter promo code LADY for $100 off your first order Woo For Play – For 10% your first order and free shipping visit WooForPlay.com and use promo code LADYGANG See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey guys, the following podcast is a Lady Gang Network and Podcast One production, which means it's going to be awesome. Hey Ontario, come on down to BetMGM Casino and see what our newest exclusive, The Price is Right Fortune Pick, has to offer. Don't miss out! Play exciting casino games based on the iconic game show, only at BetMGM. Check out how we've reimagined three of the show's iconic games, like Plinko, Cliffhanger, and The Big Wheel, into fun casino game features. Don't forget to download the BetMGM Casino app for exclusive access and excitement on the Price is Right Fortune Pick. Pull up a seat and experience the Price is Right Fortune Pick, only available at BetMGM Casino. BetMGM and GameSense remind you to play responsibly. 19 plus to wager.

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Let's make this quick. Hello, hello, hello, and welcome to The Lady Gang Quickie. I am Becca Tobin. Across from me, Kelty Knight. To my right is Jack Vanek. We've gone through an entire box of mango slices. I'm eating the last one. Are these mangoes?

Are these bad for you? I love mangoes. Yeah, it's all sugar. Okay. Congrats. That's right. Yeah. Yeah.

That's why I have it today. It's really covered in sugar. It's like candy. Yeah, it's delicious. Okay, what's our mantra today? Oh, okay. Mirror message. We're ready.

It's from Dame Helen Mirren. Who? Helen Mirren. Helen Mirren. Or those of you who don't speak Canadian. Okay. I love this one. I think this is one of the best I've ever found.

I love her, so I hope you don't disappoint me. I have a feeling it's not going to be good. How dare you? What an asshole. Okay. Helen Mirren said, she once said, at seven years... This can't be real. I can't read.

How do you have a job? Reading. I don't know. All you do is read and speak. Your job is literally reading. No, sometimes I'm like, I screw up because I can't read the teleprompter because I'm blind. But the truth is, I just can't read. i just can't read okay i think i need to get my eyes tested okay you're not me okay at 70 years

old if i could give my younger self one piece of advice it would be to use the words f**k off much more frequently oh my god this is my mirror message oh my god i wanted to tell someone to f**k off this week but i couldn't are you guys so so you're saying this is our type of that's lady gang mirror message yes you finally did it how many weeks has it been how many years has it been she just really let me down with that one mirror message that was not any inspiring at all no it's kind of uninspiring so uninspiring okay no it's true no i think it's great i would love to say but like no thank you moving on i would love to say use the power i think that there's a book

that's the power of yes. I think that there should be a book that's called The Power of No. Have you seen how hot Helen Mirren was when she was young? I mean, she's still a beautiful,

beautiful, hot, sexy woman. But like her as a 20, 30 something, damn, the dame. Smokey, smokey, smokey, tokey, tokey. Smokey McSmokerson. Okay, today we're going to do

a gratitude circle. Oh, shit. I forgot what it was. I love the reaction to like, let's all do a gratitude circle and you guys are like, oh, yeah.

Okay, fine. I'll do a gratitude circle. Wait, is yours going to be, like, sentimental, or is it going to be, like, shallow? Why do you have to precursor this, Jack? I'm not grateful for the shirt you're wearing. It's a mammoth shirt. Okay. You still buy shirts from places you go to.

My dad bought it for me. Oh, okay. That's super cute. I like it. But I love that she has made it a crop top. She tied it up in front. It literally goes down to my knees, too. It's like a sleep shirt.

It's a sleep shirt that you wore. I honestly look like garbage today. Oh, by a huge present. Well, we went to Mammoth for Christmas, so he, like... Bought everybody. Yeah, we, like, each bought each other a cute little thing. Oh, that's cute. When I got my first job on the cruise ship, and I went for two weeks and then had to go

back to high school, I bought, like, three t-shirts from the gift shop that said SS Norway, and I wore them like they were gold medals. Like... You worked on the cruise shop in high school? Yeah, I got my first gift shop while I was... I said cruise shop. Oh, it's so embarrassing. You can't talk.

I don't speak Canadian, right? No, I got my first job as a swing, which Becca's talked about what that is, like a backup, while I was already in high school. But I had finished high school early because I had enough points. And so I went. Credits. Credits. And then I came back and I wore my SS Norway shirt. Like, sometimes getting a shirt from where you've been, Becca, is iconic.

I remember I used to get them from Joe's Crab Shack. I have a Joe's Crab Shack shirt, too. When I was on spring break. What? Can you imagine the amount of merch that you got? joe's crab shack there's nothing trashier than joe's crab shack i love it i haven't been since i was 16 but wow it was the place to go why was it so cool i don't know it was just popping and they have like weird drinks with like weird because it's like glasses it's probably like

the closest that you can get to going to a bar when you're in high school right because they serve alcohol and it's kind of wild yeah but then like adults making bad choices yeah but then you're 16 and you're drinking like your parents vodka and a gatorade bottle yeah um okay what i'm grateful for period i don't know where this went to what i'm grateful for is the womanizer oh my god you know what okay wait i have a question this is probably i whatever is it charged just on a us like a micro usb because i can't charge mine is it not a battery is it a battery i think it's just a regular battery i did and i haven't figured out how to recharge it i don't know if it came with a special charger or not i'll let you know i washed mine this morning it truly is i wish they would

sponsor us womanizer you guys if you don't know what this is look it up it's a sex toy it's a vibrator but it simulates oral sex it is with air somehow it is just science at its finest deserves the nobel it does it is insane i can look at it and be like almost off yeah no i remember when we talked because when sex with emily gave it to all of us and we talked about it i think the next day we recorded a podcast guys me and becca both went home and used it immediately my mind was blown yeah like one minute it's like a one like so fast great i highly recommend as well there you go um i'm grateful for i don't know if you guys have watched this show yet it's called nailed it on netflix oh people are talking about this no it's

a cooking it's a baking show and it the goal of the show is they have all these like pinterest-y type of like amazing they have these like awesome cake pops that are intricate nailed it they had like a wedding cake and then people it's like chops people compete to bake these things however they're not good bakers so they're having just these like shitty cooks come on and try to recreate these like beautiful iconic cakes we could do it i want to go on so bad because i can't cook worth shit either like what if us three went on it let's do it everybody is so bad it literally comes out like people's like their shit's like melting off the table like not even cooked it is unreal i highly recommend it it's made me very happy great wow damn okay girl we should try to

go on it let's do it it'd be so funny right i am grateful for sarah borealis's album little voice That is so random So obscure I'm just saying I mean you're thankful for a sex toy Come on Stand behind that Sarah Bareilles' record

Little Voice Is an excellent self care Sunday It's like a record I come back to I keep coming back to it Time and time again Not gonna write you a love song Doesn't she have that song that sounds like

The Katy Perry song? Yes, but Katy Perry sounds like Sarah. Sarah's came out first. Anyway, I just love that record, and sometimes I put it on the record player, or I put it on my Sonos, and, like, every song is good. And it's a couple albums ago for her now, but it's, like, a classic, and I'm thankful for you, Sarah. It never disappoints.

What's wrong? You were supposed to be my waitress, and they didn't pick you. I had an audition for a waitress. Yeah. Not even for the lead. For the nerdy girl? For the nerdy girl. I crushed it.

Yes, I did. But the feedback was that Sarah didn't like my tone. wait are you serious that's my clothes oh wait i'll call her she wasn't into my tone the tone of my singing voice is sarah the main girl on it for that role i'm gonna talk to her no it's fine i'm over it sarah i don't care i don't want to be in waitress anymore well it not as not the lead well i would i don't want to be the lead i don't want to be the lead of anything that question though that part sorry one thing that part of waitress is like the best role it's the best because i don't love the jenna lead role in waitress the best role yeah don't want to hear

is sarah can you sing a little bit no i don't know we'll judge your tone i seriously we will judge your tone no i have a very five six seven eight sing it i don't even know i swear when was this my head i sugar butter you know it that's not what i had to sing put it on elena i don't remember i had to even sing for the audition it was a while ago it was like right after the show opened on broadway oh so it's been a minute can i ask a question now just say something so we can judge you no is it sarah like is she the main lead she wrote the music in it yeah she plays the lead okay sometimes a lot so she's like boss lady can choose oh yeah it's her show a lot of songs is it good believe that yeah i can't believe she wouldn't pick you for your fame alone no i'm not i'm not

famous enough to get anything from my fame alone right now they have the girl from pentatonix for like free makeup sometimes but they have the girl from pentatonix who's kristin who is on our show Yeah, but she has like a Grammy. Yeah, they are very famous. I have a Teen Choice Award nomination. Okay. I'm mad now. You know what?

Yeah. I hate that album. Scratch that. Do you know what it's like to hear that somebody doesn't like your tone? Well, that's what you're born with. You can't change. What is your tone? I've never heard you sing.

Yeah, what is your tone? Just sing a little something. I'm not singing anything. But I sound a little bit like a cartoon character. You do? Like a chipmunk? Look up a Glee quote. Pull up a Glee quote.

We need to hear your tone. The listeners of the world need to know what your tone is. Whatever. I'm fine, Sarah. I mean, at least you didn't sing it on audition and then Jerry Mitchell says, it's a good thing you're so pretty. That's way worse. Wasn't that when you're like, hey, Jerry, you're so funny. Hey, that was the first time I met Kelty.

Hey, Jerry. She had tragic hair extensions. Yes. Short shorts. 2% body fat. I was so skinny then. And a lot of pep. Yeah, a lot of pep.

Sounds like a lot of Adderall. I was like, who is this girl? Because I've been 60 years old my whole life. You're like, you're Judith. like you're Becca but like your real personality is Judith who's just like an angry old mom Judith's like 90 and she's like these f***ing kids

kids these days Joey's agent on Friends what was her name she was so great while Alayna finds that what episode are you on 7? how dare you was there a 7th season of Glee? ok when we come back

no there's a 7 that's probably like the greatest hits when we come back we will listen to becca saying no we won't but we're gonna go in the box don't shake it too hard what's in the lady gang box what's in the box okay here we go wait just sing what's in the box as you're singing no she's not gonna sing guys no okay i'll open the box she needs a vocal warm-up first what's in your body that was healthy by the way okay um remember when Michelle Williams complimented your high belt.

I don't even remember that. She was like, give me that note again. And I was like, ah! It's amazing. Okay, where to meet men besides online? Jack, take it away. Well, actually, you know what? Life?

I have to say. Airplanes. Hell no. Garsher's doors. No. I will say just in general, after deleting my dating apps, and now the only place to meet people is in real life are you i've met more people in real life yeah i think that there's something to be said about like the energy whatever you're doing within

your life with a dating app like i i'd be out at a bar or whatever i'd see a hot guy and it's like you know nobody would say anything to each other but in my mind i'm like that's fine because i'll just go home and sit on my couch and swipe around and i'll meet with somebody that'll give me attention so now knowing that that's my chance i feel whatever energy i've been putting out when i go out men have approached me more often in the last two months than they had approached me in the year of being single before i'm gonna say joe's gym on the cbs lot is a threshold there's jeans men extraordinary there's there's so many guys but i will say this i always say that it's very annoying you gotta like if you want to meet guys you have to like just chill out a bit on your

expectations because like there's a guy at my gym hot mike who is hot he's such a nice guy he has a christmas carolyn group i mean he's amazing he does magic he has two jobs he has a big pension no i i tried to set you up with him you know you didn't it's not tall enough for you anyway my my brains are on the walls in this room you don't want a guy that's like let's get a bunch of friends together and go christmas caroling that sounds so fun that one's so weird he wears the costumes he wears the costume no no i like i love a costume like the proper caroling costume yeah no that is creepy that's somebody that loves disneyland and he does magic and i love disneyland no i don't i hate disneyland i

was ready for jack to be like ew magic and she's like oh my god i love magician no that's like another one of my weird, I freaking love magicians. You should go on a date with them. I have gone to the magic castle many times. Anyway, my point being is that Mike is a catch. This man is going to be an incredible husband, an incredible dad.

He recently lost like a hundred pounds. Like he's so hot now. I can see him do pull-ups with his pinky. And I've tried to set him up with five people and every time they meet him, they're like, because he's a little nerdy. I love a nerdy guy. Is he tiny? No, he's like five nine five ten five eleven that's fine you've never tried to set them up with me i haven't

no all right i will um next question okay becca i want to take one i didn't say how to meet boys oh okay how do you meet boys i mean i don't have any pointers i don't know i mean honestly the only way men flock to me is if i'm wearing makeup so and sometimes a real bra like a proper bra oh No, I met the, okay, I met a guy like two weeks ago at Rose Cafe while I was, the last time that I was sick, looked like shit, wearing just pretty much what I'm wearing. And he like approached me. I'm like, imagine what I will look like on a date when I actually have some makeup on and my hair down.

That's what I'm saying. Guys go for women no matter what stage they're at. And women are always looking for like the hot guy that's pulled together. Like Chris was a seven when I met him and now he's a 10. I fixed him up. I got him wearing the right color kind of shirts he's colorblind so I was like ooh no more green and navy blue and black it was weird

you think they're all gray he thinks everything's gray he's like what color is this it's gotta be so weird to be colorblind I want to get him those like glasses have you seen the YouTube video you put the glasses on and then they can like see should I get them you should that's actually a cool present he's listening so

my topic is the boyfriend's friends what does that mean oh god like how to handle or something they never go away you only just grow old with them and have to go to their weddings all over the world can you tell i'm bitter i'm just kidding i'm one of those bad people who's always trying to people please and be like the cool like i want chris's friends to be like wow chris did so well he got to marry such a cool girl oh god i'm so over that yeah you still feel that way yeah like i just went to engagement party and

i was like okay i gotta be like extra cool for chris because i want him to feel like yeah i got the cool way chris's wife is so hot do you think it works like no probably not i've probably come up so annoying i'm pretty sure all of sock's friends are like oh my god he married such a bitch do we tell him too late too late i think what's harder than the boyfriend's friends is the boyfriend's friends lovers friends yeah or like now that we're old it's like the other wives because sometimes you get you didn't pick them but sometimes you get a great one and sometimes you get a not so great one and it's hard especially when you're navigating like going on trips yeah i'm like oh zach i'm so happy you're going away with like your best friend it's gonna

be great while i sit around in small talk for 72 goddamn hours because we have nothing in common yeah and i hate the small talk oh there's nothing worse small talk is the worst and like chances are you probably don't have anything in common like i mean there's a handful of the significant others that i love being around and i'm so lucky like i would have chosen to be their friends even without the men but then there's some where they're quite a snooze and you just have to like put on a happy face like you're having a freaking blast even worse is when your friends marry someone and you don't like the husband i think you can ignore that though really yeah i have so many friends whose husbands are like me that's yeah you just make plans with just your friend okay

yeah i feel like yeah it's easier to circumvent that problem don't be the girl who your friend asks you to hang out and brings along her husband every time every time oh there was some girl that posted in our group about that and she was just like it was like her longtime best friend and it was literally every plan that they'd make if they like made a dinner plan or like drinks after work The freaking boyfriend would come every single time. I had that happen. Don't do that. It's not cool.

No, it's not cool at all. Like, you live with this person or you probably spend so much time with them. Do they really need to come with you on your, like, once a month that you hang out with your friends? Like, that's ridiculous. It's not the same. I will say I'm 99% the same person I am in front of Chris. But when, like, I'm having girl time, it's like there's stuff. Like, I can't be that same person.

when your friend doesn't want to talk about like her dating or yeah yeah girl shit or like the stuff we talk about with like your husband around no and that's chris's rule for lady gang he's like if you can't say it to me you shouldn't say it on lady gang and i was like oh god sorry on the lady gang is because zach doesn't listen yeah this is your dad hi dad hi dad we love you okay well this was really fun what a great quickie oh my god with a womanizer it's just

it is you do have time to moan over sorry dad it's over before it begins okay sorry dad guys head on over to

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