LadyGang - LG QUICKIE: The Cooter Board Check In

Episode Date: February 18, 2021

With Becca in Canada and Jac and Keltie separated in Los Angeles, it’s time for a much needed check in. We’re getting some more clues from the set of Becca’s new show, behind the scenes info on Jac's recent trip to NYC and an update on Keltie’s new lashes for her very important meetings.  Check out our amazing sponsors!!! Total Wireless: Do amazing with Total Wireless! Get an unlimited talk, text and data plan for $25 per month. 1 gig at high speed, then 2G. Terms and conditions at TotalWireless.com  Best Fiends: Download Best Fiends FREE today on the Apple App Store or Google Play. That’s FRIENDS without the R – Best Fiends!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Do amazing with Total Wireless. Get an unlimited talk, text, and data plan for $25 per month. One gig at high speed, then 2G. Total Wireless, do amazing. A month equals 30 days. Terms and conditions at TotalWireless.com. It's time for a quickie. Podcast One presents The Lady Gang, The Hollywood Girl Posse with Lady Gang Quickie. Here's Kelty Knight, Becca Tobin, and Jack Vanek. Let's make this quick. it's time for a cookie i mean the false starts of the podcast with kelty knight are in truly remarkable yes a podcast that sorry hello hello hello welcome to the lady game quickie i'm becca here with jack and interjection kelty oh my god we had a podcast recently that

aired and it i said the hello hello hello and kelty just got up from the computer and walked away to do something do you remember that yeah and i just don't understand it's you worked in live television we're live babe we're live it's just like the disregard sometimes guilty i know this is trust in my partners i know that if i have to go do something for a memento it's awkward yeah it's honestly is really awkward when like you're supposed to be listening to something that's going on and then you can just leave live your life we love you your hair looks great though live your life thank you so much um i'm so excited for this quickie today because the truth is and i want to explain this to everyone we've been apart a lot like this

is the most we've been apart as a trio ever you know and i remember last time we saw each other well before you went to Vancouver I think it was 100 million party 100 million party right before you left so in October oh yeah like October and so we've been doing I mean I think we're working harder than ever I mean from the morning to the night we are putting out fires making deals you guys are too I don't want you to know 2021 you can hold yourself accountable for your success um no we're working really hard we have a lot of irons in the fire and we're we're really crushing what we're trying to crush. We're not crushing. We have a garlic press and we're putting the garlic in and we're trying to press the garlic. Anyway, we've already smashed

the garlic with the top of the knife to get the skin off the garlic. Yes. And we're trying to make a pasta. Totally. And so we are talking all day long. Like we talk all day long, like on Slack, whatever. We have like a hundred different channels we're talking on. But the moments where we used to like just hang out in the studio after and like talk about something that's going on in our life or like jack comes and becca's not there yet and we have a like a little visit and like a life visit i miss it and i feel like we've been saving all these stories for the podcast and the only time we really get to talk as a podcast which is why our podcasts have been long lately because i think we just miss each other so much that we're like and then this happened

so i wanted to give us a a cootery what the is it called a cootery board a charcuterie oh wow a cooter board a cooter board wow i wanted to give you a cooter board i wanted to give us a cooter board of open talking oh my god you just came up with a genius idea what if someone did a charcuterie all shaped in a vagina like a cooter it's cool and honestly you can do a lot with um with eggs with meats it's true but like meats you can make meats into little roses you could absolutely make them into mini vaginas on the cooter board i mean a salami clitoris hello i was thinking more of a burrata for the clitoris oh why meldy you know what you need to call your friend over at the cheese plate so she can start doing cooter boards for um we should do a

bachelor and bachelor parties yeah that's probably more of a baby shower one you know how they do the cakes with the baby coming crowning like you could do the charcuterie the board and a baby doll head in the middle of it yeah have you seen those cakes with like the baby it's like a baby coming out of a vagina yeah so it's like that but like these are more abstract graphic yes yeah just another thing to keep us busy we'll add it to the list and then they cut the baby's head open to get of slice of cake. Yes. Anyway, I wanted to give us a charcuterie where we can just kind of have a visit and have a, like a, you know, like a check-in with each other, because I think that people want that. First of all, they want us to talk about our real lives. And then we have not

had a chance to really do that. So I love how you act. I love how you act. Like we don't talk about our lives on this podcast. We do, but it's like, you're right. We only talk about good week, bad week. That's really the only time it's about us. And then, right. And then we're kind of interviewing someone and then we have other times that we do. But I think it's like, honestly, Becca's in Vancouver. We have been studying the clues for the show, which I've talked about. And actually Becca, now that you've been, you took my note and you've posted two more Instagram stories since a few weeks ago, I said, I know nothing about your show. Here's the clues I have. And now every time you post an Instagram story about the show, like hundreds of people DM me your story

and say another clue that's so funny oh my god it's hilarious so you posted um a picture of you playing uno yes and then you posted the dog again and i think you posted um a hallway so we really know it's it's going hot now what hallway well i'll um what is it called crumb breadcrumb cooter breadcrumb yes i'll throw some breadcrumbs on your cooter board yes okay and uh The Uno game was being played with a lovely child actor named Jeremy Maguire, not to be confused with Jerry Maguire, but Jeremy is in the show and he is known for his role on Modern Family as Sofia Vergara and Ed, why am I blanking on his name? O'Neill.

Ed O'Neill's son. And he started working on Modern Family when he was like three or four years old. How old is he now? He's, I think he's nine. and he's the cutest, sweetest kid. He's the opposite of what you would imagine an actor kid to be. Oh my God. What? Babe. Oh my. Do you have a story? Yes. About the kid? I have the greatest story about Jeremy Maguire of all time. Oh my God. I can't believe this is this kid. okay okay so jeremy beguire is like a tiny little baby bieber with a little butt like a little bowl

cut he's so cute and so cute during the reign of modern family he was like the littlest one in the cast and he's got these really great parents and he would come during emmy season to all the red carpets and sometimes he would wear a silk cape he would like have a little like a little what would have a hair cape that's so cute he had like look he had a little he had like a little suit and then a cape on the back oh my god that's the cutest picture ever and he was so sweet and he's got such a great little personality and he's just adorable so i can't remember what emmys it was i was at the fox emmy party doing my job and i was wearing it was the year of the yellow dress the yellow neoprene dress that i still stand by looked bad in person photographed beautifully if you ever

want to look beautiful in a photo wear a dress made of scuba it's embarrassing in person but like not a wrinkle anyway so i'm at the fox party and it's like midnight right like we have to sit there till two in the morning we're waiting for people to come in and out and this carpet is dead like modern family i think they won but they're like this is like my 900th me like i'm not you know so really the only person we got was jeremy mcguire and i'm on the red carpet and and i think that year there was some shtick where we're doing like what's your best after party dance you know how we ask these like really great questions and when you're interviewing like a seven-year-old you're like you know you're not gonna get like a really poignant answer right so

i was like are you ready to party and he was like yeah i'm ready and i was like let me see your party dance he starts dancing in his little cape and he's so cute he's wearing the tuxedo shoes that you know no mom and dad didn't know yet that you need to scuff up the sandpaper on the bottom slippery baby boy being outed front knocked his head like holy flat sandwich went down i have the video because I pulled it up and I, we literally, I send it back and forth to my producer like once a year. It's so funny. He hit his head so fast. Dad was there in 0.2 seconds and was like, you're fine. You're fine. You're fine. I mean, the kid out and the dad was like amazing. And I was like, you're good. You're good. It's the greatest video of all time. He's so, so cute. And you know,

he's getting older, but he's, he's not, I think he's nine now. I mean, he's still so cute. And he actually is constantly like rehearsing dances that look like tiktok dances between takes but i guess he does it on fortnight you can buy dances of some kind i don't know but talking to him made me realize that if we have boys i'm gonna need to really brush up on what the boys enjoy um but he is so freaking cute so we play uno together that's so by the way you know are you allowed to tell us what what is what who does he play in the show he plays the nephew of the main guy nephew okay that's cute yeah um and he's just he's very cute he he loves the dogs and the dogs love him and you know i love working the only little yeah yeah his parents are really nice right i have not met

his dad yet but i've met his mom many times because she's on set with him she is lovely like that's amazing you hear about kids who've been in this business for since they're babies and you kind of get nervous because you don't know what kind of parents they have and she's awesome they're so normal and he just loved you know he just loves doing it and you can tell he just loves being on set and he goes to school when we have breaks it's cute um okay and so everything else is good though becca like everything good you and zach are getting along and you're happy in Vancouver. How's Orly?

Is she still a seasonal depression? Yeah, we all have seasonal depression, but it's fine. We're good. She has her vitamin D light. Yeah. We're almost out of here. We're so close.

Are you almost done actually shooting? Like how far along are you? I'm finished early April. So are you going to be sad? Like, have you really bonded with these people? Are they your new best friends? Like, because, you know, you came from like a glee,

which was like very close to everyone. Yeah. this is different because we all get along really really well but because everybody has families and a lot of people have kids it's not and because of covid we're not doing a bunch of social stuff um so we see each other but it's not overload i do like everybody um a lot and because of the way my character is in this in this series i most likely won't be coming back for season two if they get it so that'll be sad i'll miss everybody but you know that's how the biz goes that's how the biz goes all right we're gonna check in with jack do amazing with total wireless because when you

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All right, we're back. Jack. Kelsey. What's up, girl? Well, I mean, other than my stint to New York for two weeks, i have been staring at the same four walls and that is all that's going on in my life this is like the the highlight of anything that i do talking to you bitches i'm not as new york um it was challenging it was good i wonder if this will be out by the time the show airs but um i

went to new york because i was on a panel show for a true crime after show and um you basically the show is called evil lives here and the show that i'm on is called talking evil and we basically talk about the case that the show was about now the panel is like a panel of experts i don't know why i'm there because the other panelists i know why you're there other panelists are doctors and forensic scientists and people that have a serial killer son and like there's always just a reason for somebody to be there so it was like the most intimidating situation i've ever been in because i'm like i can get drunk and be funny in front of the camera but to like sit there and you know talk about murder and in the midst of real professionals it was quite a challenge but

i need to circle back on something there was someone there whose child was a serial killer so each story is different so the premise of the show evil lives here is basically um people that live with somebody that's like a murderer or like very very evil are you kidding and it's like their story of like growing up in the household of like their son like so for example one of the episodes that i was on it's about um this woman her son ended up reaching out on craig's list posted uh an ad for um like a relationship thing asking for to find love with two gay men he goes over to the uh the men's house murders them both and then goes to back to his mom's house for christmas dinner with a bunch of like fully like a bunch of rifles and then admits to her that he like killed these

men so this that's his story so then i have to go there and like give my professional opinion about things and what was your professional opinion um well that one was a lot was more difficult than the other one that i did which was about um a serial killer and the woman had dated him so there was a lot of um like parallels that i could pull from like my own situations and relationships i think i dated a serial killer who i mean this was many years ago but there was something very a chip missing if you will i think i am a serial killer i think i'm living with a serial killer and it's me it's me no i mean people say that there were signs because i'm afraid what if we have kids and one of them murders us are there signs beforehand sometimes there i mean a

lot of times there are especially with um it's called the mcdonald's triad mcdonald triad and it's animal cruelty thing it's animal cruelty bedwetting and then um wetting your pants when you sleep and that's like the signs of like a sociopath but doesn't every kid i am a sociopath you love animals i mean a lot of kids and that's not like science but that's like somebody's theory about the situation but i mean there are usually signs for sure but then in the one of this the episodes that i was on there wasn't any signs and then the guy ended up growing up and setting all these fires and killing a bunch of people so you just never know but my point of this whole thing was when i was giving my opinion i had doctors agreeing with me no you did not i swear

back i am so smart no i'd like sit there and alexis my best friend and my partner on uh the first degree she's the host of the show so she would be like it's me and two doctors on the panel and she's like so i have a question for the doctors and i'm like fuck you bitch and then i'd answer it and then the doctor next to me he'd be like you know jack made a really really good point i'm gonna elaborate on that and i'm like i made a good point what this is amazing i have a very off-topic question about this topic oh when we did lady gang tv it was an adventure to get your nipples in not showing the the the notes about the necklines and the nipples and the belt like it was every week you know the the network was upset about it now did you learn things on lady

gang that you took into murder or were you like i'm gonna wear in leopard crop top no bra and talk about murder bitches yeah what did you wear um so this is what happened with that i think i went into it knowing that i'd have to be a little bit more conservative with lady gang tv i'm like how far can i push the boundaries you know how low can this neckline get and how many can i just not wear a bra and have a nipple show um i was you know i walked into it being like a little bit more conservative i wore a red um like suit midi dress that had fringe on it for one so you were a party dress okay i like you i like you but it was but it was a professional dress but make it party and then the other episode that i was on i wore this zimmerman jumpsuit that was a high

high neck becca would approve um yes but they were it was fashionable but conservative it's like i like murder but i also love fashion yeah and then the producers were like wow you know you look really good for tv and i'm like i learned some things for oh you're out were you like my friends becca and and kelty taught me how to be this great you're welcome yes i did think about that because i'm like if you would have asked me you know in a few years ago when i didn't even want to wear a stitch of makeup on tv i feel like i've come a long way you have you're like i need some concealer bitches put it on my face yeah i'm like more eyeshadow please by the way jack and i have both done isolation consultations which is which is facetime tutorials with afton jack's best friend

who's a makeup artist and i must say jack and i look divine when we do our own makeup now divine i learn a lot oh my god kelty you have to do one you'll love it because even if you even if you do your own makeup well tricks the tricks that she teaches you and the ways to adjust how you're applying things and the order in which you're applying things my mind was blown blown you guys both did look very beautiful. I honestly, I'm like, I look as good as I did when Afton would do my makeup herself. Like I was actually shot. I put on a fake lash. I can't believe you put on a fake lash. I did everything. Kelty, you are wearing, which lashes are you wearing? Okay. The issue with the lashes. I know they're too big and I understand. No, they're not. I'm just

asking because I'm wondering why you're now a perma fake eyelash person. Yes. Well, I'm not a perma fake eyelash person. Are you wearing a fake lash right now? Yeah. But I had, I had to film stuff this morning. I had to film stuff. Are you filming like a vlog? What are you filming? What are you filming? I am filming many things for the internet. Sex tapes. No, I have like brand deals or, you know, like different things that I have to do. And I don't want to look like a total schmuck. All right. I have so many brand deals that I'm going to be unavailable. I'm running to a meeting and that's culty. Gotta go. Meeting. I have a meeting with Amazon. Oh my God, dude. Becca and I, by the way, we were on the phone yesterday, figuring out something to

do with Lady Gang when you sent that text. And I was like, oh my God, I'm going to a meeting for amazon i'll be back i can't tell me to say i have a meeting but in some meetings i'm still texting you because i'm not paying attention it was an important meeting i wanted to let you know that i was fully going to be unavailable but you also had to let us know it was well if you bitches would go on slack like i'd like you then you can just put a do not disturb and you would know i was busy but instead i had to go on text and say i didn't even amazon i wasn't even wondering where you were. I had it handled. Okay. Nobody was asking. Sorry. We literally just grilled you for communicating. They are mad at me for communicating. Let it be known on this day

of February. I'm still judging you for saying that. I'm saying we're grilling you. We asked you a simple question about your eyelashes to making fun of you or everything that came out of your mouth okay well the lashes so i'm using this i'm well i'm actually i'm not gonna say what brand it is because i'm mad because i reached out and said would you like to sponsor lady gang and they're like no we'll give you an influencer code and i was like go yourself um so it's a brand of at-home lashes that you can do like an at-home lash kit and they last they have they come with like a little presser so you put the glue on you put the little lashes and then you press it every morning and they stay on for like a week or two so it's like your own kind of eyelash extension

kind of and does it attach to the underneath of the eyelash yeah do they do you not wake up with them weird no they're well also have that like special pillow that i sleep on but like no they're totally fine i mean you have to keep your glue really fresh what i'm finding is like if you use old glue they won't stick for as long and you have to be you know careful not to get oils on them or whatever. Same as with lash extensions. But so I'm not an always lash person, but I am an ugly aging person and I feel better when I have a lash. So when I have to do like Instagram stories or whatever, have like an important meeting or something, I'll have my lash on. But once I put it on, it lasts two weeks. So that's why I look like I'm always wearing a lash like this morning

because I had a bunch of filming to do. Now I will wear it for the rest of the week. I will be wearing it on Friday when I'm doing nothing. Cool. All right. Well, Godspeed to those lashes and your endorsement deals. And my meetings with Amazon. I hope Nike pays you the 15 million that they promised. Right. Anyway, I would love this lash brand to come on board as a sponsor. So if you work for them, let me know. And you know who they are. I want to try them, but I have no have no reason yeah like maybe if I was going to like Coachella or something which I will never go to again because it doesn't happen but well here's the other thing about the lashes is that right now so when I first signed up I signed up because my friend Courtney uses them and I didn't know which

lash I was going to want so they have curl they have like super bold they have extreme they have whatever so I ordered like a plethora a cooter board if you will a cooter board of um a cooter of lashes and all different sizes and thicknesses. And I was trying them all out. They're quite expensive. Like it's 20 bucks, you know? I mean, it's not expensive as a lash thing, but like $20 for a pair of lashes. I usually get mine at the drugstore for 99, you know? So it's an investment. So I was like, okay. So I ordered like a couple of different pairs. The ones that I really have loved, I've already worn. This is my last set. They're way too long. They're way too skinny. They're so long that when I put them on, Chris was like, whoa, long lashes. Like they lay reach

up to the eyebrow it's inappropriate for like daily wear yeah it's extreme so i will never order this set again i know that i'm gonna get the b14s not the e18s but i didn't know at the time if i was gonna be big enough because i like a big lash big butt big boobs big lash big teeth that's how i roll i was thinking about your big teeth the other day when i was looking in the year flossing. And I think I have, um, some of my teeth are too big, but they're real. So I think it's okay. Right. Yeah. Big teeth are good. Like proportionately. To the other ones. Yeah. Yeah. Like I have a very strong eye tooth. Yeah. The eye tooth is where it either goes bad or good. You know, that's what I learned. I might go back for another shaping. I'm getting, I'm pretty happy.

Like I, I took some pictures with Claire and, um, I was smiling in one and I was like, wait, i like my smile for like the first time in my life so i felt good about it but i'm still what i'm realizing is that i talk a little bit crooked so this tooth really gets highlighted so i don't like that see how i talk crooked everybody has an asymmetrical face all right we gotta go okay enjoy your cooter board everyone happy thursday we'll see you on tuesday we miss you we didn't even get a chance to fully catch up this is what i mean all right well we weren't here for a long time we're here for a good time thanks for listening the lady gang is produced by alex ingber will sterling steve delameter and jared monaco make sure you subscribe rate and review

our podcast and if you love it share it with your friends on social media like oh my god i just listened lady gang this episode's so great swipe up to listen and if you really want to which we know you do please follow us on social at kelty at becca at jack vanek and at the lady gang sign up for our newsletter at theladying.com and join our secret Facebook group. It's super fun. See you next Tuesday.