LadyGang - LG Quickie: The Voles Have Eyes

Episode Date: June 12, 2025

The ladies dive into Stephen Colbert’s famous “Questionert” — and things get deep and delicious. From the scariest animals to our favorite sandwiches, and yes, even what happens when we die (spoiler: Jac’s convinced we’re living in a simulation). It’s a not-so rapid-fire round of laughs, revelations, and a little existential crisis.We have summer time deals for YOU!!Hiya Health: Your kids need good vitamins! Get 50% off at HiyaHealth.com/ladyTropical Smoothie Cafe: Smoothies and beachside bites made just for you! Earn rewards with the Tropical Smoothie Cafe® App! Learn more at TropicalSmoothieCafe.comOld Navy: Need summer activewear? Shop in store OR online at OldNavy.comSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

It's time for a quickie. Podcast one presents the Lady Gang, the Hollywood girl posse with Lady Gang Quickie. Here's Kelty Knight, Becca Tobin and Jack Vanek. Let's make this quick. Hello, hello, hello. Welcome to Lady Gang Quickie. I am Becky here with Jack and Kelty. Kelty just looked over at Callie on Frampton and said, Oh, Callie, you're so old.

She is. She's like, how old is she? she's resting her head on her becca's knee right now and her eyes you know when dog's eyes are like just about to sleep yeah but it's like sleepy she's just sleepy but it's like she's should not be that how old is she i don't know oh yeah i have no idea how well at all generally in general i think she's nine i think you're wrong you think she's older orly was 10 and they were puppies around the same time and orly was 10 last year well you think she's older you got her what year 2017 and we thought she was one in 2017 you got her after yeah so that'd be eight yeah eight or

nine weird okay for some reason was 11 months based on her teeth but i've always thought she was older because she already had children she was a teen mom that's a stupid theory i think dogs have puppies when they're like six months old yeah okay um anyway she's just giving me like i can't do it anymore i'm like girl we're podcasting we're recording this late at night she's tired she looks good i was gonna say her body type is looking good thank you so much she puked in the uber when i dropped her off i'm we're doing farmer's dog again oh i was taking her uh i was going away so i took her in an uber and did a two-stop so stop topped her at chris's assistant molly as house to drop her off and on the way over she puked all over the uber

and i had to lie about it can i ask about farmer's dog because barbara's getting really curvy yeah will it help her lose weight it's not so much weight but i do think there's a lot of like fluff and added things in the other foods like there's it's weight but it's like a leanness but it's like a shininess a leanness like their poops are softer like it's like is it gross giving them that no they love it no but for you sorry about this tangent no it's not i mean it's real food it's real food no it comes in a frozen thing and you just put it out and like you just kind of push a little like it's like a meatloaf kind of looks like a meatloaf but it's all cooked and honestly it doesn't even look like meat oh she just farted it smells like so bad okay anyways

okay anyway so today on the lady gang we are you know i love when someone gives me something that already exists and i don't have to do the work yeah and so that is why you don't admit that on the podcast okay you know well i was really excited because she spent so long putting this episode together um all these years there's been the vanity fair pro prost prost questionnaire yeah at the end of day and we've done that on the podcast go back and listen to it but then i saw this colbert clip and he had now has his own questionnaire the colbert questionnaire it's a little more everyday people yeah and i was like this is perfect for us because the first question is what is the best sandwich and all the celebrities that go on the colbert show answer

this question i thought it would be so good for us and then we'll put up the list and lady gangers can cute also add in okay so becca begin best sandwich the sandwich that my mother made me every single day in my lunchbox as a child which was what white bread she did change to wheat later because my mom was an almond mom but before that actually don't love it white bread uh turkey like deli turkey swiss cheese mayonnaise done done that is the perfect sandwich it's perfection yeah swiss cheese i think it's cheddar the swiss is nice too but just like there's something because it's very sticky yes like when you get stuck to the roof of your mouth it's so good every single day I would think I just wish I had more than one sandwich but I never once asked can I just

have another sandwich she was an almond mom the answer would be no it's true she's like you're lucky I'm one you can save it for five days there's mayonnaise on that relax okay um well I was gonna say large amount wine and cheese is my favorite sandwich aside from Jersey Mike's but Um, thinking about mom's sandwiches, my mom sandwich that she always made, which now I've had many variations in Japan is the egg salad sandwich, which is my mom makes a different because hers is white wonder bread. She would make like scrambled eggs, mayonnaise, tomato, scrambled, not hard boiled. No, they're hers are hot egg sandwich.

It is delicious. I'm not kidding. It's the best thing I've ever had. We should make those. We should make them tomorrow. Let's do it. They're so good. Yeah, that's all it is.

Scrambled eggs, mayonnaise, tomato. Do you chop the tomato up tiny? Yes. No, sliced tomato. Oh, it's not mixed into the egg salad. No, just tomato. But in Japan, the ones that I've had, more egg salad sandwich. But I did have the omelet.

But with the egg salad, they do the same thing, but just cucumber. Oh, yes. Dill? No, but I love dill. Me too. I'll always add a dill. Yeah, I love dill. Kelty?

Wow. Okay. well just a few weeks ago uh my co-host at e-news justin sylvester who's also going to be at lady world he um i just always get that in um he ate an egg salad sandwich from the vending machine and got like uh i was gonna say gonorrhea but it wasn't gonorrhea it was like what's it called the plague i found him on the floor in his dressing room with a fever of 102 well see this is the difference the show at night from vending machine egg salad there was a an article that went out that like 100,000 egg salad sandwiches went out with like a problem with salmonella listeria yes

that can kill you yeah i can't kill you i thought he was gonna die everyone was like justin are you ready are you dressed i was like i don't think justin's gonna make it and then i had to we called the medic did he make it on the show no he had to go home he actually laid on the floor till 10 30 at night because he was so sick that if he stood up he was gonna barf this is a story that should be on e-news i know lead story well this is the difference between japan and america because the Egg salad sandwiches from 7-Eleven are like the best thing I've ever had. Yeah, fresh. Well, I recently discovered the best sandwich of all time.

And by recently, I mean just a few weeks ago. I was in Orlando. We were shooting E! News. And the best thing about shooting E! News at Orlando at the Universal Epic Universe was that there was a lady and she followed us around with a craft service cart everywhere we went. Becca understands how wonderful this has been. I've never had this on the show. They don't do this in the news. craft services and news no you don't get news you did you have it on sharknado i don't think so i'm

not sure um and she followed us around and she would and she and she stalked at the beginning of the week our favorite celsius it was incredible anyway what i found was i was hungry for something but it was really hot and i just wanted something easy and i had an uncrustable now i have to tell you something i am not someone that has ever been privy to an uncrustable because Like a pre-made sandwich is not something I go for I mean, I love that you're doing sandwich, right? Yeah, what temp was the Uncrustable at? Because you know that they can be eaten from frozen to thawed

And anything in between, which I think is pretty fascinating I know, that is And it tastes good at all levels All levels All temps It was just, it was broom temp But it was kind of hot But it was like, it was, oh my god

You can toast them, can't you? Wow, you probably can Yeah be delicious hot pocket strawberry jam i didn't realize how much i didn't need a crust in my life i know all these sandwiches i've been like you know i'm always never a picky kid i wasn't gonna ask my mom to cut the crusts off like that was valuable money we're spending on crusts yeah you know no you don't need the crust personally good if it's toasted that crust is the worst part it's a soft little pocket of joy that uncrustable and i am on a new mission to get uncrustable

to sponsor lady world because i want everyone to walk into lady world scan their pass and be given an uncrustable sandwich to just enjoy at their leisure on the beach i think it's a great idea you know it's a great beach food it is easy wow everybody makes a pb and j for the beach there's nothing left and this is done for you and the way i like that it's pinched like a dumpling it there's no leaks it is a dumpling no never you're not getting any on your hands like it is the perfect oh well she has them at her house right now no two boxes that's two boxes because I was like I'm gonna have a midnight snack I know should we have a midnight Uncrustables is amazing and I just I want to thank you for your service Smuckers it's Smuckers who makes it right yeah I have no

idea anyway they're amazing okay what is one thing you own that you should really throw out god mine is some pairs of underwear also at least it's not a celsius also um i keep running shoes oh and i don't know why i will buy new ones when the old ones get worn out but i it's one of those things where i'm like oh i might need i might need shoes to like garden yeah but i don't do that with any other item in my whole life so if i was gonna go like garden i don't have a single thing i could put on my body except for the sneakers like i don't think that way with anything she doesn't keep it your sneakers it's so weird that is really weird i need to get rid of them and underwear obviously and underwear

is so upsetting mine was like that but with like a few special occasion things that i have like i have this pair of pants that my friend gave me that works for Marquesa and they're like embroidered with some like sequins on them when am I gonna wear those well Jack you of all people can pretty much find an equation to wear anywhere very soon you guys I haven't gone to anywhere that I should wear a sequin to in so long you could have worn them in Japan no so they're really formal yes they're like a what color are they navy but with like with floral sequins all over them i'd like to see a picture of these i think i'll take a pic when i get home because they're in my drawer with my bridal stuff do you think i could wear them to a wedding in tune yes they're like they're

gonna be way too long on you but if you never wear them and you're supposed to get rid of them i can hem them i don't want to give them away i can do a temporary hem you can do a temporary hem but i want them back because i can't think of partying with them are they high-waisted they're really oh my god great oh i love this oh see now i'm like in my low waist era that like they're like the highways that almost hits like under your titties yeah i love that with like a little yeah yeah yeah yeah you try them the bow tie ticket okay bow tie sorry no i understand i understand um the thing that i own that i should really throw out is i mean so many many of my hats I recently got rid of the hat that you wore in the Lady Secrets ad that was a detective hat.

I thought you were going to say the one I wore when I was the Olsen twins from It Takes Two. No, I would never throw out. I love it so much. The thing that I should throw out that is embarrassing and I continue to wear it is my People of the World sequin. Are you okay? What's happening? I'm starting to get like restless leg. Okay.

Sorry. I have this very old vintage jacket. it's called my people of the world jacket i hate it so much and i literally wear it all the time i bring it to every formal names no it used to have a different name no it's always been people of the world i don't know ladies of the world embroidered ladies of the night no it's sequined and it's like a skyline it's disgusting and the stars have a little tassel yeah yeah and it's made by a brand called everybody a exclamation point yeah but so you wear it so i wear it all the time why would you get rid of it it's the perfect jacket to wear to an event when you don't

want to wear a jacket like i'm not cool enough to just be like let me throw this blazer over my you know like that's too cool that would be what a cool person would do so you do the opposite like the polar opposite what a cool person yeah and i love it she does and i know it should go and every time it sparks joy for you and chris is like he doesn't love it no totally the things should go or the things you don't wear that should stay. I wore it to a wedding recently and I was sitting, uh, next to like the grandma and she loved it. Well, I did actually hold it up for her. And I was like, I bet you have some of these in your closet. And she's like, no, I got rid of them. But I was sitting next to a woman who had a beautiful, very tiny Birkin. I'm

not a Birkin girl, but it was a Birkin that I actually could get into if I was a Birkin girl, but I'm not, but it was like a tiny little Birkin. And then we were like going over to watched them cut the cake or something. And I said to the wife, she was like, are you just going to leave your stuff here? And I was like, my people of the world jacket. Yeah, I think I'm good. They'll take the Birkin first. And she was like, you're right. And then she took the Birkin. My people of the world jacket. I was like, nobody's taking that. I think I'm good. Like, I think I'm safe. Hey, Ontario, come on down to BetMGM Casino and see what our newest exclusive, the Price is Right Fortune Pick, has to offer. Don't miss out. Play exciting casino games based

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please contact ConnexOntario at 1-866-531-2600 to speak to an advisor free of charge. BetMGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with iGamingOntario. The Lady Gang. What is the scariest animal? The vole that we killed in my pool room. The what? And the one we saw in the pool. What did she say?

Vole? A vole. It's a mole, but it's worse. Jack? I bet it's cute. It's a mole with two huge beaver teeth in the front to eat through your skin at night. Your skin? Whatever it wants to eat.

Is it a carnivore for humans? I'm going to look up a picture of a vole. No, but you can't. Yes. No, don't. Please don't. Because the voles have great PR, and the fucking vole internet makes them look cute. They're not.

I told you they're cute. Wait, are you kidding me? No, the voles, I've already had this discussion with my friends at work. The voles look cute. They look like little cute mice, and then I felt bad for killing them, but if you've ever held a vole- You killed it? Yes.

If you've ever held a vole in your hand, you know the terror that it incites in your brain. The terror. That's not a fucking vole. That's what I'm saying. That is not a vole. Are you sure what you had was a vole? It's a vole. That is not a vole.

Put vole teeth. Vole teeth? Stop it. Okay, continue. Okay, keep going. I'm worried people are Googling in their car. What's the scariest animal? Yeah, but like all-

Yes. I don't want to talk about it anymore but he's small and it's my final answer goodnight I think he's cute when you need to get an exter... don't ever do that again that was great I don't I I'm the wrong person to ask

because I think like everything is cute you think snakes are cute yeah but I are you f***ing kidding me I love snakes especially either little tiny ones do you think maggots are cute no I was going to say the only thing I don't think are cute are like roaches

Those are bugs. Those are not animals. A bug is an animal. Circle back. Technically. You would hold a snake. Yes. Are you?

What? I would. They're not scary. I would sooner. I actually like a snake because they have a very interesting body type. Ew. No. No thanks.

See, I told you I'm the wrong person to ask. Yeah, it's true. I'm afraid of animals. This is bullshit. I also don't like crows. There's 15 questions on this questionnaire. We're on three. Okay, sorry.

Keep going. What are you scared of? Well, snakes. but crows are also terrifying because they're very smart i have a crow story i'm saving it there's two crows that live outside my house that watch callie every day they sit on the wire and they look in to see what she's doing and then she goes out on the deck and looks at them and they come for her and she goes back inside yeah they're so smart super did you ever see gifts did you see the crow the movie in the 90s the crow no come on am i that much older than you

it was like brent no i know i died yeah brendan lee no i don't know okay anyway all right apples or oranges oranges oranges apples with peanut butter delicious so good have you ever asked someone for their autograph mini mouse at disney oh that's a good one as a child um the green ranger power ranger my first crush second crush myself oh my god that's it i don't think i i didn't have access to fame until i or activities until i was like already 20 so it was past the time past the autograph yeah i don't understand an autograph um what do you think well we signed people and they have it tattooed on them i don't understand it wild what do you think happens when we die cobalt turns so dark the autograph i'm sorry i'm just circling back

the autograph was such a thing because there were no camera phones that's true so if you were out at a restaurant and george clooney walked in the only proof that you had that you saw george clooney was him signing your napkin but like how much of a proof is that when you could just like forge an autograph well because there's people that study autographs and they authenticate it yeah how every autograph is different not really i never understood signatures either really because you know you're all different no i just don't understand them it's so because they're like they're they forged the signature i'm like it's easy it is weird but i like handwriting analysis people i like listening to like how they yeah i do too do you think when

they're talking and like the john benet ramsey documentary one of them where they talk about the handwriting i think to myself this is just making people that do crime better but also it's like that's not like real science like handwriting analysis i was gonna leave a ransom note i would just listen to this person see say what they're looking for I would also just if I was going to do something like that I would write with my left hand they still say but I was like don't say that out loud that's super dumb I don't I think I said it and then you said it I was like yes that's what I would do too yes no I just or I would write differently I will also I would be a bad person to analyze because like you know they're like oh they write their e's with like three different

lines i'm like because i don't write a lot anymore every one of my letters is different like sometimes i do it a one way i bet you i do it a different way now we can do ransom notes on the computer this is a real tangent when we die i believe that our cosmic energy of like our life force goes back into like the cosmic energy cannot be explained portion of the universe and i believe our particles go back in and make up everything so like the trees the sky like we are matter on the ocean gate when it when it banged the ocean gate thing and everyone it's there like all of their cosmic energy goes back into the cosmos you use the ocean anyway and then i think our body energy like the matter that makes our hair and things like that that goes back into the world

and like fulfills the next like forest ground like whatever that is so i think there's two well we know what happens to our bodies right they decompose that's not a mystery you're right okay well the question was what do you think happens when we die that's true well she just told us something that he said that's a fact what if i was like well your heart stops your organs shut down your skin's deteriorating it takes 48 hours to go into rigor mortis are you guys gonna answer um well action movie you know the closer that we get to like quantum mechanics and like everything that's going on in the world i really am truly believing in the simulation theory ah i don't think anything that we think happens is what happened i also don't

think that death is like a finite thing. It just, I'm not buying it. Um, so I'm buying simulation theory. There was an article that came out of this girl that had, that died and then like came back to life. And she's like, death is like a complete illusion. Like it's not real. What, what meaning what? I don't know. Okay. Well, that's what my dad said when he had his near death experience. Well, everybody's near death experiences are like all like almost the same. Yeah. that's but what does that mean death's nothing does your dad say death is nothing well he said it was like not scary and he was very comforted and he felt like it was eternal like he was like continuing so yeah but that doesn't feel like a simulation into the matrix oh well i don't know

what i mean that feels like two very different beliefs simulation and then something quite spiritual no but what if spiritual is really going back into the simulation yeah it can be a spiritual simulation it's just how every spiritually yeah isn't that just life right now it's just our souls having an experience simulation experience who's who's the simulator god right this is a very traditional thought so basically you're very christian you think there's god simulating literally you're just talking about christianity right now you idiot no i don't think that i mean you're basically circling back to christianity everything does circle back to the same thing crazy theory that there's this guy god wow he there's an article that came out about him

and i read this article about the simulation and guess how mechanical mathematic engineering this our souls are being simulated by this guy named god yeah and when we die you literally just came i can't it's just the facts it's just the facts okay on that note thank you guys so much for coming for the colbert my theory please please rebecca what did i write oh i said absolutely nothing oh or everything what's right possibilities are endless in the matrix i think it's 50 50 you either bye bye night night because you know when you go to sleep yeah you don't know when you've gone to sleep it's very scary anesthesia don't get me started about dreams now and what reality dreams are does god

do those too no but I have a fear that dreams are the real reality that we're living that we're on the other side of the simulation and then our life now is somebody else's simulate like our I need to be high for this so unhinged no I have a fear that like the dreams are real because all my dreams are horrible and I'm like if that's the real reality no your dreams are horrible because you're an anxious person i know because you read articles about god yeah the girl who said death i gotta find that please tell me the headline i'm not gonna lie because i only read the headline i didn't read the article that's why i couldn't describe it let me find it okay anyways go ahead just we'll post it if she ever finds it we weren't here for a long time we're

her for a good time. These bitches are crazy. Get me out of here. Social support from Kali Correra. Editing from Jared Monaco. Producing from Steve Delameter. And iconic hosting, creating, and being the gang gang of all gangs by Becca Tobin, Jack Vanek, and Kelty Knight. Kelty Knight support by Derek Haley.