LadyGang - LG QUICKIE: Weird Phobias

Episode Date: April 7, 2022

Do you have a weird phobia? Not like spiders or heights, but something WEIRD? The ladies do! From sponges to buttholes in water, dried ketchup and snakes, the ladies are sharing the things that interrupt their daily lives.  Check out our amazing sponsors!!! BetterHelp: Get 10% off your first month at BetterHelp.com/ladygang  Chime: Get started at chime.com/lady - Applying for a free account takes less than 2 minutes! Stamps.com: Go to Stamps.com and use code LADYGANG to get a special offer that includes a 4-week trial PLUS free postage and a digital shipping scale!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Guess what, everybody? We're going on tour. So all of our Lady Gang fans in Florida are always like, Florida gets left off the tour. And that's because it always gets left off because it's very hard to get to when you're touring because it's like kind of out of the way. But we were like, nope, this summer, it's Florida. We are heading to the Tampa Improv on June 26th. It is a nice Sunday afternoon brunch, 3 p.m. Lady Hang Live with us in Tampa. You can get tickets at theladygang.com or tampaimprov.com we'll see you there it's time for a quickie podcast one presents the lady gang the hollywood girl posse with lady gang quickie here's kelty knight becca tobin and jack vanek let's make this quick hello hello hello welcome to lady gang quickie i'm back here with

jackie kelty guys excited oh my god sometimes every once in a while a stroke of brilliance hits me I mean drink that in just like once in a while I think it's more than that thank you I'm so excited how are you guys great great okay so so recently on the internet someone posted does anyone have a weird phobia like don't come here and say spiders or heights or some boring shit I mean weird phobias I want you guys to think about your phobias I'm going to read some of the phobias that exist for the world. Jack, I feel like this is like your mothership. I mean, I know what my phobia is. What is your phobia? Well, I mean, it's not like it's like it frightens me, but like I have, uh, well I have two, one is feet and like to the point where

they make me so uncomfortable being around me, touching me that like, it really stresses me out. like it gives me a little bit of a panic attack to have feet around me and my other one is sponges before you go to sponges can jared's feet be around you no no like if he touches me if we're like sitting on the couch and his foot touches my my leg or something like i like flip the out i can't have feet around me they're so and so many people's feet are so nasty i saw yeah no what about a beautiful foot like becca it's 2007 she's shoe modeling in new york princess pink by opi on the toenail i still don't want it anywhere near me like if she touched her beautiful beautiful foot to me on the couch i would give me the same visceral reaction as somebody's mangled toes

touching that bothers you or the seeing it's both but it's mostly the touching bare feet up on like the coffee table in front of you no can you prop yours up yes i am um uh a little bit uh what's the word i'm looking for hypocritical when it comes to feet like i think i've talked about this before like i can't touch anybody else's feet but like i always want jared to massage my feet that's so weird i like my feet that are uncovered are fine it's just everybody else's and not my own so you're on a hawaiian vacation and you're at the breakfast buffet everyone's wearing their flip-flops can you eat i mean i'm not that bad keep your eyes up but yeah i'm not gonna look at their feet while i'm like eating a breakfast burrito but also you know you can't wear an uncovered shoe to the airport

i saw one lady going through pre-check yesterday that had a flip-flop on that she took off and then put her feet onto the ground while she was walking through i've had to do that before it's so embarrassing when you get there and you're like, ah, I planned so badly. Yeah. It's not great. I mean, we should always wear a covered toe. I feel like at the airport, but you know, I'm trying to get over the, over the phobia. It's, it's not great, but I'm putting myself in situations so I don't have to deal with it. Like, okay. And then sponges. Uh, yeah. A sponge freaks me out. I can use a sponge first use. And then anytime after that, it's, not for me. I'm similar to that. I'm not into the kitchen sponge. It's really gross to me.

It's so gross. I probably overuse paper towels because of that reason, but the harboring of the bacteria in a sponge is so gross. But wouldn't you rather have the sponge be the home of the bacteria than the bacteria just be on the dishes? No, that's why you wash them with the paper towel. You wash your dishes with the paper towel? Yes. What about a brush? Yeah, You don't have a brush, but the brushes also hold, I have a brush right now in my sink because of Jared, but like they still have like the nasty shit in it. I understand that. But the brushes I feel are better because you can kind of like use the soap to clean

the brush a little bit. And you can also pop a brush into a dishwasher. Yeah. They're better than a sponge. And also those little smiley ones that are really just like pieces of plastic, scrub daddy, those are great. But like an actual traditional sponge where all the bacteria is just like sitting in the wetness in there grosses me out so bad like i cannot use one scrub daddy is like what is scrub

daddy scrub daddy it's like a circular daddy circular sponge that has a smiley face but it's all made out of like little plastic pieces laurie made it and it goes back i have a question for you jack do you use a beauty blender those freak me out too i replace my beauty blender probably like and i don't ever wear makeup like i very rarely wear makeup and i probably replace mine like every two weeks because it's the same thing that i bet if you open one of those up there is mold in there like there's no way that a beauty blender is sanitary there's a brand there's a brand that's made of antibacterial material but i'd like to take that to like a lab still it's if it's still a sponge yeah it's like how i mean i know i know copper is really antibacterial but

i'm like but you're still touching like the nasty sir like it's so gross yeah all right before we get to becca's let me read you some of the phobias from the facebook cotton balls styrofoam wait is this what people in our facebook group have phobias of yes um okay uh julie i'm so scared of puking scared to puke baby puke makes me cry i don't know how to explain it i just lose it like everything shuts down and i crouch into a fetal position my chest gets tight and i start to cry you know what this is really common and my sister's son i don't know i mean she probably won't care that I'm saying this, but children are often getting phobias of vomiting and sometimes they stop eating because of it, because they're so afraid to throw up. So like my nephew, when he

was young, got some sort of stomach virus, whatever, was so traumatized from the vomiting that my sister started to notice he was not eating as much and wanting to have like liquid stuff because he wasn't wanting he was so afraid to throw up like that's a that's a real thing it's so heartbreaking and unfortunately it just keeps on coming yeah no matter what he probably won't care when he's at a keg party barfing in the bushes but because it's worth it you know well this next one is also very common i have a phobia of frankie muniz and kevin bacon can't watch either can't watch anything either of them in it um i don't understand kevin bacon i don't either like kevin bacon's so hot i want to watch all of the movies with him in it freddie

frankie muniz frankie muniz why do i always see him as a nine-year-old like i know he's not nine yeah because he's he's forever stuck in that character what character was he um malcolm in the middle yeah malcolm in the middle oh okay all right that's such a weird poem um this one is for you jack i don't know if being scared of feet is unusual hint it's not but i was in therapy about this for a long time couldn't even go to the beach because i knew the evil feet would be bare oh my god wow hers is worse than mine whoa she said uh this other girl says if there's a lemon seed in my water or iced tea i am going to choke on it and die oh my god something must have happened. That's incredible. I mean, it sucks for her, but that's so like specific. I know. Well,

you know, something must have happened when she was a kid. Yeah. I do love a specific phobia. Stephanie said corners, corners that are not my own, meaning at my house or at my mom's house. I can't look at corners in bathrooms or buildings and I can't see facing a wall in any place that is unknown to me. Whoa. Like the corner of a room. Yeah. The corners of the room. I thought like corners of like a table. I'm like, there's like a corner of cheese. Delicious. I wonder if this is like past life stuff. So I, that book, many lives, many masters, they hypnotize this woman and she has all these crazy phobias and they can't explain it. And then she went into like the hip hypnosis and she was speaking as if in a past life she had really traumatic things

happen and in these areas of phobia and that was why she had the phobia like it was unexplainable in this life but in past lives it made sense interesting so the corner the corners one yeah that could totally be something like that yeah all right becca we're taking a break becca what are your phobias i mean i know this is so cheesy but it's very genuine and and when i see a snake I, my whole body, like my entire body freezes. I feel like I could vomit and it is the worst image I could possibly look at with my two eyes. And this came up recently because I went to this awesome sushi bar, like Omisaki style in Austin, sushi by scratch. It's like this 15 course, like, oh my god it was so good and the chef was like does anybody have allergies or things that they

just don't eat and anytime i go eat sushi this omakase style where it's like up to the discretion of the chef i said no eel for me like i can't do eel i can't do eel and everybody's like oh my god it tastes like chicken it's like the most delicious blah blah blah blah and the chef no it's like this 15 person table and it's myself and a friend and strangers he goes let me just ask you something like can i why not eel because i feel like i could talk you into this it's very delicious this bite is everybody's favorite and i said this is going to come across as very immature but i'm just going to be honest here i hate snakes so much an eel is a sea snake water snake it's a water snake and i the fucking sight of an eel to me is oh i had a pet eel when i was a kid

no i'm sorry seven years into lady gang we found out that jack actually was not an only child i had like it was like a little mini eel that you could get from like the pet the like pet store fish store whatever it is he was so cute whenever i think of eels i think of little mermaid and then i also would not eat the eel because it's like so evil and usually i'm pescatarian that i only eat fish that I don't think are cute. And so normally it would be like Dory and the beautiful fish that I wouldn't eat. But I also have a thing against the nasty fish. So you can't eat fish either. Well, I always just, I don't know. I'm all, I'm really rethinking my plan, but like since I was in eighth grade, I had this whole Disney complex where like I didn't eat any animals that

I felt had feelings or that were friendly or nice. But I love that you have decided which things have feelings so it's like dory obviously we're not eating dory but what kind of fish is dory wasn't she like a goldfish no she was like a beautiful angel kind of fish and like we're not eating we're not eating sebastian are we not i am i am okay i don't need eel either but i don't have a fear of snakes you probably don't eat eel because you had a pet eel that's true it's like me eating a dog. That's true. That must be it actually. What was your eel's name? I can't remember. I had him when I was like so young. I'll have to ask my mom. Yes. Please ask your mom. Oh my God. This episode of Lady Gang is brought to you by BetterHelp. I do think there's still

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betterhelp.com slash ladygang. That's betterhelp, B-E-T-T-E-R-H-E-L-P.com slash ladygang. See you therapy. This episode of Lady Gang is brought to you by stamps.com. For over 20 years, stamps.com has helped over a million businesses save time and money on shipping. And one of those businesses is Lady Gang. Let me tell you the amount of shipping and sending that we have to do as a small business. And you know, I'm alone here at Lady Gang headquarters. So I am just always doing it. It's so easy. I go on to stamps.com. I put in the information of what I want to ship. I print out the label home and I literally just drop it off at the postal annex by my house. There's no standing in line. There's no craziness. And you can also save a ton of money. So stop worrying

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feel good about your money situation chime is more than just getting paid early it's an award-winning mobile app, checking account, debit card, and optional savings account. So what are you waiting for? Hopefully not your paycheck. Get started with Chime today. Applying for a free account takes less than two minutes. Get started with Chime.com slash lady. That's Chime.com slash lady. Banking services and debit card provided by the Bancorp Bank or Stride Bank N.A. Members FDIC. Early access to direct deposit funds depends on payer. The Lady Gang. Okay, Abigail, i have an irrational fear of pumping gas oh that also might be from a past life is it like because people i get nervous just because you're gonna light yourself on fire crime no mine is that

like a lot of like carjackings happen at gas stations and stuff oh is it a lie that if you use your phone like is this a myth that if you use your phone your car can blow up yeah that's what i thought is it a lie yeah is it a i mean i do it all the time so i can't imagine that it's true um jaylene said mascots like people in mickey mouse costumes at disneyland i hate that there's a human in there and i don't know where their actual face is also they always want to like touch or hug it's terrifying oh my god have i have i ever told the story it's jared's story about how he was a mascot in high school he worked at this place that was like a chucky cheese in phoenix called makudu's island and this was when he was like 16 years old and his job was to be

the mascot i think it was like a big purple animal or whatever and he was doing like a conga line with a bunch of kids and he tripped over one of the kids and fell to the ground and his mask fell off of his head and one of the kids was like there's a guy in there and like freaked out and ran away so jared definitely like caused this kid massive trauma that's incredible also can we circle back to makudu's island that's the name of this place there's so many oh wow so weird you should actually when he's back in town he has so many hilarious stories about when he worked there it's so good but yeah it was like they had like jungle gyms it was like a chicken cheese plate place but yeah he traumatized some kid that day i want to let you all know that when i was an nba

dancer for the new jersey nets and the new york knicks i don't think the knicks had no knicks didn't have a mascot but the Nets had a mascot can't remember him I'm gonna get roasted for that but anyway but the guy underneath the mascot was like a gymnast and super hot but being a professional mascot is actually a really good job like it's like a six-figure salary they take care of them there's like a fucking union like I hope so I mean hard in there yeah I would hope so that is a thankless job you don't even get credit for praise no because no one sees your face i know you're an anonymous famous person anonymous but like everyone loves you know anyway okay um all right ketchup the smell the taste the texture even touching the bottle because you know that

devil's dip gets everywhere devil's dip oh my god i understand i understand the some of that i hate the smell of ketchup i really hate it and i hate when you walk into a cafeteria and all you smell is ketchup you know that that like metal and like ketchup odor dried ketchup that could get me like that's gross we zach has a rule that he won't actually use like if you're at a restaurant and they have communal condiments on the table he will not eat use them because at one point in time he saw like a little girl at a table with her parents and her parents were distracted talking she was opening up every cap to like the mustard the the ketchup the whatever and like licking around the top of it yeah yeah and he was like never again that's disgusting and you know

kids probably do it all the time he also saw a kid he won't he won't do a communal water spout you know how places now are eco-friendly and they're like here's your water spout fill up whatever he saw a kid pick his nose get a booger out and shove it up into the spout my god i mean you guys keep making fun of me for never leaving the house but it's awful out there it's terrible out there horrible kids are also grimy as so i'm scared anything yeah i think that any sort of thing that you can ingest that has a way for somebody to touch it has been touched tampered with if i want to pick my nose and put it in my water i can do that at home you know what i mean um okay karina says the sound of people chewing breathing while they eat

that's a real phobia yeah whitney holes clusters of holes or clusters of anything really that's also those are both like massive phobias a lot of people have clusters like well the clusters the holes no no the clusters of holes is like not yeah sponger like it comes from in the wild plants that look like that like you know like a plant that has like dot like kind of like holes in it most of the time they're poisonous so it's like this collective consciousness thing that we've had as a people yeah exactly that those kind of things that look like that make us feel uncomfortable because they were poisonous whoa jack vanik coming dr vanik little wrinkle in your brain oh wow yeah um lauren said hair

wet hair that's not mine obviously this actually is a good break for me to tell you one of my phobias one of my biggest phobias on earth is old water so yeah like when i was a i think it comes from well no i've had it since i was a kid but i can remember going to the kinsman leisure center to the public swim with my dad and you know you like get out of the pool and you're wet and then you go into the change room and there's like little puddles of other people's body water on that tile floor and it's skeezy and grimy there's been a couple other major times cruise ship life involved a lot of old water and like for me if chris comes home before me and takes a shower and then his old water is in the shower i will go shower in the other bathroom because i

don't want to put my feet if his water hasn't dried yet yeah that's weird you wouldn't even like just turn the shower on and wash it away no because i'd have to step in well with the shape of our shower i have to step into the old water to get the shower on if i had a remote control sure i'd wash the water away but it's like anytime there's old stagnant dirty water well most of the time it's dirty and it has some some other person's like skin particles in it or something that's why public pools like I used to swim a lot in public pools when I was a kid and now like I really I can't get into the public pool I can't get into like a communal hot tub like even for my birthday Christina took me to that beautiful spa in Beverly Hills and they have like

that beautiful mineral bath and I went into the mineral bath and like I had to really talk myself down because it was like other people's skin other people's skin like it was really that's Zach's thing whenever we're at a public pool or like at a hotel anything he's like look how many buttholes are in the water yeah and everybody's peeing and the thing is is that like if you're not true if you're most people are peeing a lot of people are peeing i had to tell my niece and nephew i was like i have something in my pool that if you pee it's going to turn bright green and everybody told us that that was to scare us into not peeing in pools i that's i that's still one of the reasons i do not pee in pools me too because i'm like turn purple i'm like maybe this

is the pool that has it but it never is because i don't even know if that's real at this point it has been invented even if at that time it was like a pipe dream for pool owners and it was like a magical solution it exists now it has to i'm looking if it doesn't we should make it yeah it says okay is there a urine detector for swimming pools this is from thoughtco.com uh no there is no chemical which changes color when someone urinates in a swimming pool there are dyes which could cloud change color or produce color in response to urine but these chemicals would also be activated by other compounds producing embarrassing false positives wow go ahead and i guess pee really pee away kids not in my pool okay a couple more um being in

public bathrooms alone rachel turning keys i have to hold my breath and i'll do whatever i can to avoid having to turn a key oh i have kind of a same phobia with public restrooms like a single stall every time i go into a single stall bathroom i get like a little sense of panic and i have to look before i go in to make sure that there's not a murderer waiting there for me you know why that is that's movies because when you when you even harry potter that girl oh my god i'm gonna get killed that i don't know what's dumpling sad gertrude yeah he lives in the morning myrtle morning myrtle she all the scary shit happens in a single stall bathroom you want to hide from the drug dealer you put your feet up and so they when they look under they don't see you you know and

there's also like that's not a single stall that's like a public bathroom no like a public bathroom but you're in the stall you open the door and you hide there's always money or drugs in the back pot part there's always a secret door that leads to another world you know it's a line the witch and the wardrobe in that is public bathrooms are scary i remember this reminds me of when i was in high school, I heard this story and it was probably an urban legend about some guy who would hide underneath cars. And when people would go to get in their car, he would slice the back of their Achilles. And I guess if you do that, you like can't run. So you like do that and like whatever, kidnap you or do whatever terrible thing he was going to do to you. So for years,

I would like leave a lot of distance, kind of like the monster under the bed thing where you jump on the bed. Like I would leave a lot of distance between myself and getting into my car just in case someone was going to slice my achilles tendon that is also a fear of mine slicing my achilles tendon and i don't it's a irrational fear do you ever watch that movie pet cemetery when you're a kid no it's a scary movie but in the movie this guy gets his achilles tendon cut and it seems like the most painful thing in the entire world all the way up to underneath your butt and then they have to stretch it back under your butt uh-huh my friend's dad and growing up it's like an elastic uh-huh he played in the nfl and that was like his career ending

injury achilles roll like a fruit roll up up to your butt that new phobia unlocked you're welcome everyone i hope you're feeling great about your life enjoy that water in the jump in the pool everybody right now can totally like put like a vision to exactly what that would look and feel like in your body a snap bracelet that's sickening snappy snap snap um okay last one nails on your hands i can hardly even type the world fingernails because it makes me want to vomit oh that sucks because can't get rid of them no that's true does she watch asmr videos of people with their nails specifically mine being touched or watching others touch their own belly button

belly buttons are pretty creepy oh my god um and i last last but not least i'm afraid of my kids falling into the grand canyon i've never been to the grand canyon oh my god it's a pretty rational fear though so it's very difficult out there for everyone i hope that you enjoyed the phobias um is that our next book lady phobias lady phobias that's funny it's a great idea and just people's stories about their phobias yes it is weird it's definitely weird humans are weird in the grand canyon i've never been i love it this is an idea that we should finesse it's really good all right well we weren't here for a long time we were here for a phobic time thanks for listening the lady gang is produced by alex ingber steve delameter and jared monaco

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