LadyGang - LG QUICKIE: We're Cruisin

Episode Date: September 8, 2022

As the ladies sign Lady Secrets books in person, their brainstorming ways to host a cruise ship. Would you join if there was group bingo? K-type care? Singing lessons from Becca? Jactails served all day? Take our survey and check out our amazing sponsors!!! https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/LADYGANGcruise  Addyi: Revive the sex drive you once knew and visit HSDDtreatment.com  Progressive: Quote your car insurance at Progressive.com to join the over 27 million drivers who trust Progressive!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hi Lady Gang, just in case you've been living under a rock, our brand new book Lady Secrets is available for pre-order. It comes out September 20th, but if you go to theladygang.com slash books, you can get this amazing bonus offer if you pre-order it. You can get an exclusive clip from the audiobook and it might be a little story about how Kelty may or may not have gotten kicked out of George Clooney's party in the south of France. And then you can also get a promo code for the Lady Gang shop for $20. So go check out theladygang.com slash books to pre-order yours now. This segment is brought to you by hsddtreatment.com. If you're frustrated by a low libido, you don't have to live with it forever. It can be treated. Learn more about an FDA-approved

treatment at hsddtreatment.com. It's time for a quickie. Podcast One presents The Lady Gang, The Hollywood Girl Posse with Lady Gang Quickie. Here's Kelty Knight, Becca Tobin, and Jack Vanek. let's make this quick hello hello hello welcome to lady gang i am becca here with jack and kelty um we're just sitting here at kelty's island still signing more book plates because kelty seems to think that we're gonna sell thousands and thousands of books that require our signatures but guess what actually you know what that yeah becca somebody recently wrote something on a post that i made this is why you can't sell tickets to your show you know what sarah we are selling tickets to the shows we just want to sell out the tickets to the shows so get your verbiage right

and unfollow me okay well that was a button um that was a button i know like you yeah sorry whoa sorry oh my god no you know why she it was a post that i made about self-care yeah and the things that i do to make myself feel good sarah you know what i had a baby i didn't birth him but i have a baby which is really hard if you didn't know it's hard to have a baby and take care of a baby so if i want to go put a needle in my forehead to make myself feel better and you know feel refreshed even though i'm not get off my jock jock is she is on one i just get really angry like i don't go to anybody's page and incite hateful things i mean i just can't imagine commenting somebody something like that on any or like anything negative on anybody's page it's crazy that

that happens yeah why the negativity who knows okay no let's turn that frown upside down it's the internet. I'll tell you something that great that happened to me this week recently. So I, um, you know, I had a big, a real big tick tock moment. Like I grew, I have a hundred thousand followers. I grew, I was really posting all my views. I went viral a couple of times. Like everything was going in my favor and then it just went to death. Oh no. It just fell apart. It's like 200 views. It's like, it's just brutal. Right. And I was like, well, what am I going to do? Am I going to give up? Which was my inclination. I don't have time for this. Like, you know, like RuPaul says, if, if those bitches ain't paying your bills, then pay them no mind. And

I'm like, there's TikToks just for me. Like there's no job involved. Like I don't have to do this. So I'm like, if I'm not enjoying, it's making me feel bad about myself. But then I was like, no, Kelsey, you're never been a quitter. What you should do is you should just copy everything Jack Vanek does and see how it goes. So I have been at a very low view count. on many, many videos. I copied Jack's video almost exactly, but put my own words on it. 40,000 views. I did notice that, that that was the only video that had more than like 5,000 views. Yeah. It's really good. It's, it's the one where you go, you get the best of both worlds and you put two contradictory things. So I was like, you know, Jack said something about like having

anxiety at night and then having anxiety because you can't sleep, but then can't sleep because you have anxiety. You know, this brings me a good point around Jack. I'm proud of your TikTok career. I truly am. Some things that you've posted though have been alarming and they make me think that you might want to see a therapist. When you talk about your overwhelming anxiety, the fact that you look at pictures of yourself and you hate your face. Well, that's nothing new. I've talked about that a million times. I know, but I feel like you deserve to feel beautiful because you are, and it's not going to make you feel beautiful talking to TikTok about it. That didn't make me feel beautiful. No, but I'm saying like, I want you to be your best self and feel the best about

yourself because you're never going to be hotter i'm sorry it's just over for us after this no it's starting to sag i feel that too but i i want you to really relish in it and i think the only thing that you may have to start therapy yep i want you to feel better i know i don't want you eating salads on tiktok talking about you know anxiety don't be weird don't be like crystal eating crackers no why don't you want to go because i i feel okay she doesn't like so tiktok is an exaggerated when i yeah when i had my blog i used to write a lot of emo okay this i'm not shocked about i obviously like i was pretty happy and i've been pretty happy my whole life okay so i get it it's for the i mean i can be i can be happy but also have like issues like it's not

like one or the other it's not like a binary thing i know but you can be better with your issues you can feel i agree there's always something you can work on and i know i have shit to work on you deserve to feel amazing as if somebody who loves you i know that it would only take a few sessions for you to see that you are being way too hard on yourself. Thanks. It's true. I have worked with my therapist a lot on negative self-talk. Yeah. I still do it a lot. Like today I put this red lip on and I was like, I'm so cute in my denim and a red lip and a side part. I'm going to feel great. And then I saw my face on, you look great on the video when we're making videos. And I was like, ah, like that made us all look bad. It wasn't just you. I know. I

looked like anyway keeper like it's not great oh my god crypt keeper that's who i am that's what we used to call my dad's stepmom this is like yeah this old bitch that my grandfather was married to um anyways she dead now yeah she's dead okay rest in peace or not um wow i know that's pretty dark right well you know she just she wasn't very nice um see you in hell see you in hell And anyone who my dad hates, I hate. That's how it works. We're a team. Don't mess with Tom Tobin.

And don't mess with me because he'll get you. Is Tom Tobin going to come to our Atlanta show? Oh, my God. Are you kidding me? You guys. Obviously. I'm so sorry. I need to talk to you about something.

My dad? No. We're not recording. No, we're recording. Okay. I need to talk to you about something. Okay. When we come back, we have an idea.

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That's hsddtreatment.com. Lady Gang is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Let's face it, sometimes multitasking can be overwhelming, like when your favorite podcast is playing, like the Lady Gang, and the person next to you is talking and your car van is blasting, all while you're trying to find the perfect parking spot. But then again, sometimes multitasking is easy, like quoting with Progressive Insurance.

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Press play on comparing auto rates. Quote at Progressive.com to join the over 27 million drivers who trust Progressive. Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and Affiliates. Comparison rates not available in all states or situations. Prices vary based on how you buy. The Lady Gang. All right, so it's the beginning of September. We had this idea we want to talk about,

and I just think we should use this as a brainstorm, about going on a cruise. Okay. So here's the thing. You can rent an entire cruise ship, and you can do a cruise. We could bring friends. We could have one night.

The main could perform, and then one night could be like a different podcaster and then we one day you're getting botox the next day you're getting singing lessons from becca the next time you're doing like but like we would do group bingo we would do theme parties dude group bingo is really fun for me like that sounds like the like the best part of yeah the cruise so and then sunning and then you get off in the ports and shopping and like i just think it would be so fun it'd be like a lady cruise where we could just have great outfits we'd have so many selfie stations where you could like take pictures every day. Um, okay. So here's my thought about, I want to ask the community.

I like the Kelty thing. That's a real selling point. What? Taking pictures of yourself. Unfortunately it is for most people. No, because, well, I'll say this. Like I used to work on a cruise ship and one of the things that they did is like, as soon as you walked on the ship, there was two show girls there to take a picture. I'm like, that's my least, like they're selling the prints and I'm like, no one's going to buy a print. Oh, it's like when you're on a ride at Like Knott's Berry Farm. No, that, yeah, but that's like. It's like when I went to see the Statue of Liberty recently.

Yeah, and they want to charge you like $30 for your picture. No, but all those things are fun. After a travel day, I've just flown from Toronto to Texas, to Galveston, Texas to get on my ship and done a whole travel day and then went through customs. And now you want to take a picture of me? I'm not in my formal gown. Like it was just such a bad time. I think having many photo booths, if you had like, you know, if you had like. Okay, we can move past this.

We don't have to dwell. but i do we can talk about this because we love a theme it's like we can talk about imagine thank you for your permission imagine imagine if our photo ops were themed and then like every day was like in the white party and yes no no that's the reason to go to things is an outfit so the thing is is that i feel like when we started putting the tour on sale we so many women wanted to come alone and then i'm thinking like are there women who want to do a group vacation like they want to do a fun vacation but maybe their friends are not can't afford it right now or maybe they don't have a ton of girlfriends or maybe you know like maybe their friend is an internet friend and

they want to meet up and go on the ship together like do we think this is a good idea would the girls come and you know you can go you can go high-end low-end like I think the cheapest tickets like $900 which is a lot you know but if you want to cruise if you love cruising like Jack loves a cruise. I've literally never been on a cruise. I'm sorry. Did I miss something? Are you and Armie Hammer telling, selling timeshares together? Like what is this? No, I don't know why she's saying I love a cruise. She's giving us pricing too and lying. Well, we've learned this morning that Kelsey has been lying a lot today. Her statistics are off. Her whole, everything's off. So don't trust anything that she says. Don't trust any demographic number. Can I wear a

captain's hat the whole weekend? You can do whatever you want. On a cruise ship, it's like anything flies yeah it's you know and if you go missing off a cruise ship nobody can find you no jurisdiction well and also um also they would open the um the gambling is there what's that called a casino the casino casino at sea casino at sea what happened and here's the thing here's what else is cool when you rent a cruise ship i'm just telling you one more thing i love it when you rent a cruise ship you can decide what elements of the cruise ship you want to actually have in play that that trip yeah so you know do we want to do a lady gang show of course we do but do we also want to see sea legs circus at sea with the dancers do we want to be in sea legs

circus at sea exactly do we want i have been looking for a reason to get back in dance shape again yeah exactly like i feel like you could be like you know what i want the cruise director to still be doing the dollar dollar dollar dollar you know that dance they always do on sail away no no this is very like very niche inside cruising anyway i think a lady gang cruise would be so fun i would love it because i don't i don't know if i'd ever go on a cruise unless it was mine so i'm really excited for this maybe and you'd have to change outfits like four times a day there's like sweatpants for breakfast buffet there needs to be like a group of people who like to do the bare minimum like myself oh there will be that group oh you can choose your package you

can be yeah bare minimum becca where you just want to exist and be left alone and not be told what to wear and what theme there can be a jack tales jack package where all you do is just open bar open bar all the drinking and then in your veins and then you can have the k-type care and that'll be like that'll be like a bullet journaling class bullet journaling and manifesting and meditation and morning yoga and nature. Oh my God. Kill me. My God. I hate, this is something I just realized about myself. I hate a nature walk. No, I, oh yeah. I hate an itinerary. Do not give me an itinerary on vacation. I do not want a schedule. I want to exist and fly by the seat of my pants and kelty that's why she loves these places like we care sure i hate it it is packed

jam-packed you don't even have time to think well because kelty doesn't go on a vacation for the vacation she goes on it as a self-improvement trip it's so hard like i just wanted them to be left alone just drink my soup in peace wait i just booked you soup oh no i'm leaving it someone's getting a kelty soup but we're signing book plates yes that's i don't know if we set it up i don't know if we did who knows anyway well if you want to come on a cruise let us know but i gotta be honest with you it's not an expensive it's not an inexpensive venture no it's a big thing no you don't have to save up but the good thing is if we were gonna do it we were gonna you could get a capital one venture x card you could pay for it and then you can get some great

points yeah it's only we're only offering it to people who are like they want to go on a vacation anyway like i recently looked into doing a group vacation with who well i really want to do india and chris doesn't want to do india he's not he's not neither he doesn't have the interest for it and he does not like being in big crowds of people and he's not really into the historical like history of life so he doesn't like earth he doesn't like history he doesn't believe in evolution he was flat earther so i was looking into if there was like women trips that you could go like 40 girls well like because i love a stranger because when i travel with strangers nobody knows my flaws yeah you do they don't have to hold me accountable i can show up and be like

yeah i'm like the healthiest all i do is drink green juice and they'll be like healthy so healthy and they don't know that i'm a snickers girl this is insane that's so crazy they don't know That that's the, that's the why, that's the reason why you like strangers. Cause they don't know your flaws. Yeah. I love when people know my flaws. I feel like people truly know me because they're so hard to find that if you know them, you must know your deepest really know me. Actually, I will say there's something about Zach that the reason that it works so much is because I am so flattered every time he calls me out for one of my flaws and not like a flaw like a stupid shallow thing but like I'm a terrible driver like terrible driver you are oh my god never admit that

and all the times I've been like I'm such a bad driver you never were like me too you're worse you're worse um but like he or like oh I spill things on my shirt I cannot go through a single meal without getting something on my top and I'll be eating and he'll be watching me and I won't know he's watching me and i'll drop something on my shirt and i'll be like oh did you drop something did you did you miss your mouth oh you know like it's cute like a nice underhanded but it's not like because he thinks i'm a gross beast yeah it's because he thinks it's endearing but he thinks that my flaws are endearing am i unfolding the uh the game right now in that book where guys just make you feel like shit about yourself you're like wow he really got you yeah he really got you becca

no he like sees things in me that i try to hide from other people oh i love this and he sees them and he sees them with and he's amused by them and he thinks they're cute so you can ask for you know what zach can come on the cruise i'm gonna i want to say one more thing about the cruise are we really doing this again no i just want to say one thing i'm gonna put the link to the survey we made this survey of like what would you want on a cruise because like i'm trying to you know really figure out if we can do it i'm gonna put the link in the show notes so go on your spotify or whatever and and we really need to know because it takes a year to plan yeah it's shit or get off and if we rent an entire cruise ship and then no one comes it's

gonna be bad then we're gonna have to get the main i love the idea of the main okay we weren't here for a long time we were here for a cruise bye thanks for listening the lady gang is produced by alex ingber steve delameter and jared monaco make sure you subscribe rate and review our podcast and if you love it share it with your friends on social media like oh my god i just listened lady gang this episode's so great swipe up to listen and if you really want to which we know you do please follow us on social at kelty at becca at jack vanek and at the lady gang sign up for our newsletter at the lady gang.com and join our secret facebook group it's super fun see you next tuesday

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