LadyGang - LG QUICKIE: Will Instagram For A Vacation House

Episode Date: April 12, 2018

The Ladies are back to think about the minor annoyances that drive them crazy, how they handle hosting house guests, and all the yummy foods they're craving right now! For a list of all the products mentioned on this episode, visit www.theladygang.com Follow the podcast on Instagram @theladygang and you can email Jac, Becca and Keltie at [e-mail]--especially if you have a spare vacation house that you don't mind renting out. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey guys, the following podcast is a Lady Gang Network and Podcast One production, which means it's going to be awesome. Podcast One presents the Lady Gang, the Hollywood girl posse with Lady Gang Quickie. Here's Kelty Knight, Becca Tobin, and Jack Vanek. Let's make this quick. Hello, hello, hello, and welcome to the Lady Gang. I'm Becca Tobin. Across from me, Jack Vanek.

Across from me, Kelty Knight. I want it to be quick. what do you want oh this episode it's a quickie I just got a text from someone being like I'm really hungry like I'm meeting somebody for lunch and they're saying I'm hangry AF I want to be like do you think I want to eat with you

is that supposed to make me want to meet you to have a meal sounds like a fun convo you don't like the slang I think she just doesn't want to hang out with somebody that's mad I don't want to meet somebody who's hangry and anxious to eat I can't handle that

let's have a chill lunch it's just public service announcements okay great um what are we talking about oh yeah so we have a quote oh what's your quote okay here we go inspirational mirror message of the wake the week okay stay strong make them wonder how you handled it oh there's no comment from becca or jack i'm just thinking about it so it's like you know i get it Instead of crying, you know, when you're in those meetings and stuff. It's like Becca on The Bachelor when Ari dumped her until she did cry. Yeah, but at first she was like.

Yeah, she was just like. She's like, oh, so strong, so strong. And you're like, damn, you didn't love me either. You make them wonder. Like, you'll never see me cry. Girl, that my boyfriend and I will never passively aggressively tweet you. It's true. There's a lot of strength in keeping your composure after you've been screwed over.

Especially on social media. Oh, my God. because there's nothing worse than like when you know something happened to somebody and then they start posting all this like weird shit and you're like oh this is like cringy i have i had a like a girlfriend two of my girlfriends got into like had a little bit of a falling out and one of them just things that were going up on instagram like do you realize how certifiably insane you look is it like was it like digs or was it like inspirational quotes it was anything you could possibly imagine for months months being on a friendship yes it was weird but it's like

i'll you know notice the people around you take note take inventory of the people around you don't get fucked over blah blah like really crazy oh my god like what could have really happened no it's like it's unbelievable people are unstable people are unstable see i love an inspirational quote but mine are for people it's not no it's not to show it's not passively aggressively like i know because you're like one of the only people that actually finds like pure like solitude like joy and like inspiration out of an inspirational quote everybody else is posting it with some underlying meaning that is not a positive one i think yeah i really am inspired and you are just so pure you're welcome what are you guys grateful for this week i'll go first

i am so grateful for the new queer eye oh my god me too it is i cried my eyes out every single episode i've cried it is exactly what we need in this country because everybody is so damn negative and divisive like it is amazing the casting is unreal all of the guys are so wonderful and they are like positive in the most pure amazing way like not like the weird taylor swifty way that like i get annoyed by like everything that they do is like so wonderful and i love them and anthony is the hottest guy i've ever seen in my life who's that the cook the food guy oh yeah he's super cute he's so hot he's cute and he is he either has a boyfriend or a husband that is just as hot as he is wait i think we're talking to the long hair guy to have him on the podcast yeah jonathan because

he is the best my friend was a producer and he said we need to ask all of them not just one and that's the nice thing to do no i want all of them oh really they're all so wonderful and so different oh my god yeah but jonathan has a podcast the long-haired guy he's the hair and like grooming guy i like him they're so wonderful i love them i'm glad for you i cried watching the episode with tom the first guy you know that him and abby are like back together no stop it yeah he just posted a twitter about it so he got a twitter because he was on the show and they broke up after the show and then they got back together it's so cute oh my god it's like you you cry the whole time oh yeah because he is just and also all the guys that they have on it are so vulnerable

and like yeah open for change and a lot of like they had that one police office officer and there was a really good moment between him and karamo like oh i love it it's so wonderful well my friend was the one who actually scouted all those people so good job jordan really yeah wow amazing job like the casting was like amazing yeah wow so good and they shot it in my hometown i know i like that they did it it's cool yeah it's la it's like everybody's just a dick i don't know what i'm grateful for probably nothing go first um i am grateful for my genetically full cheeks this is so weird number one do you have full cheeks well okay so a lot of you guys are so yes okay that's different you have great like a full cheek would be like chrissy like chrissy

tegan like a fat face yeah me too okay like i have like a fat like there's a lot of fat no you have beautiful cheekbones hold it down everyone many times you're gonna knock over your drink many times on the internet and in real life i've even had an agent tell me to stop injecting my cheeks because they look fake because they're so full in the apples of my cheek okay all right because i have when i smile i have like a round cheek i have a little bit of fat right on my cheekbone people comment all the time did you get your face filled do you fill your cheeks and i say no because i don't feel that particular part of my face that one spot has not been touched i what i have been really trying to also like jack to be more positive and loving for myself and i'm

trying to like when i look in the mirror not automatically go to my double chin like i'm trying to go to the thing that i like yeah and i'm very thankful you don't have to pull cheeks in my mind i have a nice youthful cheek even at my old crockery age you do and it's all that i really have on my face because i have these fake bunk ass veneers i've got like the fucking hairline of the gods i've got tiny eyes stop putting yourself down stand that like yes in hollywood we're a bunch of fours yeah but in the rest of the world we're we're beautiful we need to take a trip not naturally not naturally no but all the help we've gotten yeah all the other places other than your cheeks that we've injected in when i go home to shore park i'm like wow i am

pretty actually when i'm in la i'm like what is wrong with me you're like i'm trash i was talking to my sister the other day and i am unemployed obviously except for the lady gang which is not making you money um and i was complaining that i'm just really bored and i'm like you can only work out so much and i'm like i feel like also you know you can work out so much and you still don't feel like productive whatever yeah and she's like do you understand what an asshole you sound like you should also look like giselle because all you have to do all day long is work out like and i did think about it if i lived in another place and had a nine to five job i would be a fatty fatty because i have like a whole 12 hour day and i can barely get to the gym for an

hour of it i would be huge literally be huge with like seven kids because i have no purpose not that if you're have seven kids you don't have a purpose good for you you do you know i'm saying for me i would have seven children to find my purpose yeah you know is that what you're grateful for i don't i'm really not feeling grateful today that's fine you're grateful for kura too That's definitely breaking the rules. It is breaking the rules. I'm grateful for the fact that I get to work out and I have access to really great workouts in Los Angeles to keep me busy.

And you have to hook up at Barry's. Yeah, I do. Okay. There you go. That's something to be grateful for. That's expensive. See, we helped you find your gratitude. Aren't we good friends?

That's true. With beautiful cheeks. Okay. When we come back, we're going to play What's in the Kabob? Oh, Jesus Christ, Jack. I'm never going to change. Don't shake it too hard. What's in the Lady Gang box?

What's in the box? Okay, Becca, you're going first. Biggest pet peeve? Oh, shit. Oh, snap. Any time a pet peeve of mine happens, I want to write it down because now I can't think of any and I have so many. I know.

What I love about the Lady Gang so much is that the whole world already knows all my pet peeves. Like, I don't even have to answer this. I bet our listeners could send 10 right now. Okay, anyway, what's yours? Okay, I have one pet peeve is when... Somebody doesn't change the linty thing in the dryer. Oh.

Yeah. Like, you just let it build up and build up and build up. Like, I change it every time when I pulled out. That's all I can think of right now, but I'll think of another one. My pet peeve, I don't know if this counts, but I really, when I see people who bite their nails, like, really those bitten, no, like, people who have a problem. Is that a pet peeve? A nub?

Yeah, it's definitely a pet peeve. Yeah. the little like shoot out yeah that's why i have to get a manicure every two weeks to prevent myself from doing like people's hands are very like when i don't have a manicure like right now it makes me horrified yeah me too just because i don't like dirty looking hands or dirt underneath fingernails gross what's your pet i have so many i know when you're quiet and like not responding and engaging in a conversation i know that you're just like waiting like when is my turn when is it my turn that's not true i'm trying to be so chill i was like really enjoying your

nub story but you know like you can be chill and then like ask a question or like engage okay listen i can't change overnight jack this is only a few weeks into new kelsey step one you can't bully kelsey so much i'm listening i'm trying to i actually heard what she said that's a big step forward okay okay let's talk about my pet peeves back to me number one at the airport at the luggage thing when the luggage starts coming and everyone slams up against the thing to get their luggage lesson people if you all stand six feet back you can still see when the luggage comes and when your luggage comes down it's your turn to step forward take your luggage and then remove yourself but the fact that we are all squished up being like i and also if

you're so worried someone else is going to take your luggage don't get a black luggage go to target and get one of those ugly ass printed orange crazy things that last like one flight i'm so annoyed by that that's kind of like when you're getting on the airplane how annoying is that okay next i'm going no next worst when they're like we're gonna pre-board um anyone with a disability or a child and then 500 people get in line i don't see with a child or a disability and now the disability people can't even get onto the airplane they can't get through the masses They can't get through the masses because all of you are sitting with all your 500 bags. And also, I see you with a food bag, a purse, a backpack, and a carry-on, and a blanket.

Like, it's a carry-on and a personal piece. Calm down, people. I just realized my, it was going to be a bad week, but this is a pet peeve. What? Oh, my God. I had the worst flight of my life recently. Not of my life. That would be a plane crash.

But one of the last flights. Do you see me ask a question? what's a plane crash sorry to interrupt you i'm sure you have more we'll just no no we'll just keep going we'll keep going we can go forever i was next to a guy on an airplane who sat down he's pretty normal he's like on his phone he's doing some things but then once he put on his headphones and started watching tv it was the worst mouth breather oh and also like the laughing and like the expelling of air from his mouth that just continued i swear to you for three straight hours he was watching something that was making him laugh and he was a mouth breather yeah there's

nothing worse than mouth it was the most foul i had so many things wrapped around my face because it was that is disgusting i know but do you have a bad breath yes like if you can't breathe out of your nose i get it there are people who have issues with their septums but if you're sitting but he didn't have that until he put on the headphones to watch tv it was like that like dumb face you know and people like they're like relaxed jaw yeah slack jaw yeah be aware be aware of what's happening to your body like i have 800 farts i want to release on an airplane i will not yeah you're considerate yeah i will do it in the bathroom but i it is so gross people think they're alone and they're six inches away from you yeah airplanes are nasty next don't stand no first of

all i want to say this it's disgusting airplanes are disgusting in general and i'm so sorry for what happened to you so much do not stand in line at starbucks on your phone flipping through instagram and then get up to make your order and not know what you want to order yeah when you go to the front of any line and it's your time to take an order don't be like you're wasting my goddamn time that's what i don't understand about any kind of a line like i'll be in a long line and i'm like what the is taking everybody so long i bet when i get up to the front and do whatever the hell i'm doing at this line whether it be like passport control or starbucks or whatever i get it done in two seconds i'm like are you guys chatting what are you doing like what is

happening in this exchange that is taking so damn long you know there are people and we all have them in our lives that literally move at half male space. Sloth pace. We make fun of my mom. Slow walkers. Oh, slow walkers. Don't get me started. We make fun of my mom because for her to actually get out of the house,

she does 45 things, but also at a very slow pace. So she's like a doddler. A doddler? Yeah, my dad calls her Turtle Woman. Like, our entire lives, Turtle Woman. And I just look at her and think,

So what could possibly be taking you this long? What is she doing? That's like anything you can think of. That's how my dad is. He'll take forever and then we'll leave the house and he has some like weird OCD that every single time he has to go back in and do something or he forgot something. But it's like, I don't even know what he forgets. He doesn't come back out with anything. He's like a drug addict.

It's like, I don't know what you're doing. But every time, like clockwork. What does your mom do? Just complains about it. because of my dad it's the same thing he takes forever to do anything anything i'm like what what are you doing i'm in such a rush through my whole life that i just can't imagine i'm like chop chop maybe those people are really truly living though like i look they might be like yeah they might be like reclaiming their time it's true that's nice also what else when you're

at a red light okay all these things have to do with lines 100 first of all let me tell you something you can imagine that i'm not a text and driver you can imagine that she has the thing on her phone where if you text her and she's in the car it is an automatic reply saying i'm driving trying to be safe so i'll return your text when i get out of my car i swear to you that is set up on kelty's phone no is that not smart no it's amazing i love it nobody should text and drive in a way too many and then you if you say it's urgent then it will like i'll know it's urgent you know right anyway so i don't text and drive because i used to text and drive and i almost crashed my car and i was like well i've actually scared myself i'm never going to text and drive

again and so when i'm at a red light you better believe that that light has my 100 well 75 percent attention attention okay so you get pissed if somebody doesn't go and it turns green no what pisses me off is the minute it turns green the person behind me is like honk oh you know what it takes a millisecond for my brain to compute it's green and then my gas to press and then for my car to begin going at a fast pace everyone needs to calm down with the honking in los angeles because guess what you think i'm on instagram right now i'm not i am driving i'm just a little bit slow i know i'm just taking i'm not gonna gun it out of every red light you need to make sure that there's not somebody running the red light that you're gonna crash into that's my

second point my second point is everyone in america you need to calm down with your yellow light turns oh i do it all the time you have to you'll get nowhere in la you have to be a defensive driver in la or everybody's gonna cut in front of you i'm not talking about your yellow light turns like you should absolutely turn on the yellow that is proper driving it's the people going straight they see the yellow and they're like oh let me keep driving for like another 15 cars and so when i'm trying to make the left turn on the yellow like i'm supposed then you're like literally in the intersection when there's like 15 cars coming i'm like yellow doesn't mean keep going and then a couple reds more cars go through and then it's my turn to turn right like green is go

orange is i just felt 500 people turn off their podcast let's move to a different topic it's not safe do you have any other pet peeves because i'm only just getting started i know but they're all really similar just follow the rules okay elena reached over and opened the box you know we're in trouble when elena's antsy to see what the next topic elena's like i hate this line let's move on oh this is an interesting topic okay entertaining overnight guests in-laws family friends lovers worst oh um number one if you're going to be at someone's home you know that my grandmother used to say something like house guests are like fish after two days they start to stink or like something

like that so you absolutely should know to not stay overstay your welcome oh yeah unless somebody specifically says please like you with your parents kelty you never get to see them they're in from canada you love your parents you get along with them they're so easy you were like absolutely stay with me as long as you want please stay longer yeah but like if somebody's like sure you can absolutely stay with me but they don't say as long as you want just know that two nights is the max yeah and also as a guest that's staying over somewhere entertain yourself yeah like i've had friends come over come stay with me and i've had to literally like bring them to the beach and then bring them to do this and i'm like but i also have a job that i need to do like we're all adults

and we have jobs and lives like you can't go and visit somebody unless they have made it very clear to you that they are taking time off to entertain you like whenever i go to visit my friend in new york i know she has a full-time job so i go do my own thing and it's like very nice for her to let me stay there like yeah don't expect somebody to cater to all your needs what about lovers staying over the night yeah like how do you prepare for that jack i haven't had a lover stay over in like almost two years so i can't i don't let people stay over at my house Just remember to use your muffler. Buy some poopery.

Yeah. I am the opposite. I love it when people come to stay at my house because I'm very lonely. But I agree with you. Like, entertain yourself. And also, oh, here's mine. Oh, this is such a good one. You know when someone's, like, I'm expecting someone, a friend or family, and I say, hey, like, I'm going to get some groceries before you come.

Is there anything you want? And they go, whatever you have is fine. That's annoying. Because I don't know what you eat, friend. I don't know what kind of milk you like. Yeah, but, like, maybe they just will get it for themselves when they get there. Like, I don't like asking people to get me things. Yeah, and there's a difference between, like, saying whatever you want and then them being okay with having whatever you want or them saying whatever you want and then getting annoyed that they don't have almond milk or something.

Okay, this is the example. When my parents come, I say, Mom, because it's such a production to, like, get them here and then take them to Ralph's to grocery shop. It's just so much easier for me to zip in on the way home. So I say, I'm getting groceries. Send me a list of what you want. And she goes, whatever you want is fine. And then they get there, and she's like, you don't have any steaks. Yeah.

Because I don't need steak, mom. Like, you know what I mean? That's annoying. Okay, next topic. Worst. Time for one more. Jack? Currently craving food or drinks.

Oh. i'll tell you what i'm craving i watched that documentary expedition happiness on netflix i think that's the name of it it's this couple from germany they go with their dog they turn the school bus into this like apartment on wheels and they go out from new york canada down california into mexico it's cool and they're like basically just wanted to run away and like get out into nature and whatever find happiness great documentary you should watch it but the end of the documentary last night the entire time they're in mexico eating tacos like i'm still thinking about these tacos but a good taco is oh my god i don't like tacos what i mean they're fine i don't really

like mexican food oh my god i'm craving mexican food so bad right but like good mexican food good mexican food i do you guys follow tasty like buzzfeed thing where the food where they just like cook all the food on facebook whatever they have some good videos and they just had a video that was like five different pot pies and they're so you would you would crave a pot pie pot pies are very underrated and they don't have them anywhere and then when you see a pot pie or you eat one And you're like, what? They're so good. Why have I waited years to eat another pot pie?

I know. Because people don't ever eat pot pies. I'm craving a pot pie. That sounds great. Doesn't it? I'm really just hungry. I'm starving. I'm craving a beach vacation.

I know it said food or drink, and I'm breaking the rules. But I'm craving like a Mai Tai on the beach. Me too. A margarita with like a sugar rim. Can we go to Mexico? I'm trying. Are you going to Zika? No.

Mexico's fine. I've been there twice. I'm nervous about Zika, and I don't even have a boyfriend. You're fine. It's fine. You're fine. The HPV in my cervix is going to do much more damage to the fetus than Zika. Thank you.

I mean, it's a dangerous place. Then let's go to Mexico. Can we be in, like, the hot weather and, like, have some cute bikini Instagrams? That's what I'm doing. Right now, like, finger food by the pool, and you just kind of order some all day long, and, like, now I'm eating a lot. And drink all day long. That's my dream.

If anybody out there that listens to the Lady Gang works anywhere in Mexico or Miami or like anywhere, Sexico Live is coming to you. We will Instagram the F out of the Bahamas, wherever it is, anywhere. We want to go on vacation. We'll do a podcast from your hotel. Yes. I will do anything. I will streak through your lobby.

I don't care. I want a vacation so bad. Becca will come and work for you now. Yeah, I will. I'll clean the room. weird somebody somebody in mexico or anywhere um that's it anyway if you could pay for my flight that'd be great too yeah yeah also we can't get ourselves there so please get us a private jet i do want to say one thing about food and drink i've been really um craving the matcha lattes

from like coffee bean or starbucks so good no i gotta tell you guys we gotta cut that out they're not good i don't ever have the internet the internet told me it's not even real matcha Oh, I doubt it. Yeah. From Coffee Bean? It's very expensive. Yeah, you gotta get a matcha latte from like Intelligentsia or something will be. Or Alfred's.

Yeah. I went to Alfred's yesterday. Right. But here, I'm going to say I understand what you're saying. I don't think, I think I'm surprised to hear that it's fake because. No, it's not just fake. What's the point of having it? Right.

Because it's a trendy word that people. It's matcha flavored. So it's like the flavor. And then also there's like cornstarch and added sugar. It's like I was assuming that it was like coconut milk with matcha froth. That is not at all what they are. No, I'm sure it's like 500 calories sugar. So I'm never asking for one again.

And I'm really disappointed because. Well, get a real one from somewhere. But where, Jack? Can't just go to Alfred in West Hollywood. I'm in the Studio City where the basic people live. There's got to be Alfred's in Studio City right there. Literally right here next to Jones. Right here.

Yes. Right here. See, this is why I'm friends with you guys. okay i love you so much this was so fun i want to tell everyone to please follow us at the lady gang on instagram and for a limited time only if you leave us a five-star review it's not limited time it's gonna be forever if you leave us a five-star review for a limited time we're gonna start giving major gifts from our gift we have an entire we are area of stuff that people have sent us we're gonna start re-gifting our lady and gifts to you if you can prove to us that you left

us a five-star review and a fun comment on Apple iTunes. So you better get over there. Or if you subscribe on Spotify or something like that. Okay. That's it. That's all I want to say. And it wasn't a long time. We're not here for a long time.

God, are we ever going to get this? We're not here for a long time, but we're here for a good time. That escalated quickly. Thanks for joining us on Lady Gang Quickie. Check out new episodes of Lady Gang every Tuesday and More quickies every other Thursday on PodcastOne.com, the Podcast One app, and Apple Podcasts.