LadyGang - Live From LadyHang NYC! Feat. STS Blue

Episode Date: July 24, 2018

Coming at you live from City Winery in New York City, the magic of the LadyHang strikes again! Aside from many bleepings, the Ladies play Oprah with all sorts of giveaways while playing another round of trivia and answering fan questions on the spot...all the while givng away some details about their upcoming E! show! Follow the podcast on Instagram @theladygang and you can email Jac, Becca and Keltie at Hello [e-mail]! And thank you to today's sponsors: Amazon = Go to amazon.com/shop/ladygang to find their favorite products while keeping the podcast FREE STS Blue = Pretend you went to LadyHang Live NYC with your own LadyGang jean jacket at stsblue.com  Brooklinen = Get $20 off and free shipping when you use promo code LADY at Brooklinen.com  RX Bars = For 25% off your first order, visit RXBAR.com/ladygang and use promo code LADYGANG at checkout   Secret = Get Secret Clinical Strength Antiperspirant today!  Stamps.com = Go to Stamps.com, click the Microphone at the TOP of the homepage, and enter LADYGANG to enjoy a 4-week trial PLUS $55 postage AND a digital scale See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey guys, it's your Lady Gang, Jack Vanek, Kelty Knight, and Becca Tobin. Thank you so much for subscribing on iTunes, and thanks for supporting the great sponsors who make it possible for us to have this much fun with you every single week for free. Well, what is this? Welcome to the Lady Gang. That's amazing. Say that again. The Lady Gang.

Things are about to change around here. Each week, we catch up with Hollywood's hottest girl posse, Kelty Knight, Becca Tobin, and Jack Vanek. Oh, my God. Holy shit. Holy shit. First things first, Mom has to hand out the directions. You guys, this is the most insane thing I've ever fucking seen in my life.

What the fuck? This is so much cooler than any Glee reunion I've ever been to. Ever. um so thank you so much for being here everyone welcome are you okay how are you someone needs to be opening the rosé because i'm so nervous i almost put it backstage my vagina my vagina's sweating it's like it's so many things um thank you so much for joining us at the lady hang nyc Presented by STS Blue

We want to thank our presenting sponsor STS Blue Now, if you're a VIP Do you like your jacket? Do you love it? Stand up and put it on your shoulders And give it a little wiggle Let me see, sorry all you basic bitches

Do you love it? Is it so cute? The tag is still on yours Yes, you're looking so cute Sit down, sit down This isn't about you. This is about me. Now, of course, STS Blue.

Oh, I'm like, why is it so loud in here? Because you're sitting down. STS Blue is trendy. They're sexy and they're fun, just like the Lady Gang. They have cute jeans, jean shorts, jean jackets. Now you know that because you're wearing them. You can find them at Nordstrom, Macy's, Dillard's, or Von Marr. Von Maurer.

Sorry. Whatever. I'm not fancy. She's Canadian. I'm Canadian. Oh, yeah, you know, you go down to Von Marr, you know, and you get a jacket. Or you can go to stsblue.com to follow the latest trends. And you can also follow them on Instagram or tag your cute picture at at sts underscore blue.

So we have something to tell you. So we arranged for all the VIPs before the show starts. We're just going to tell you something. Okay. This is very important, by the way. The show started. Yeah, the show's starting. So what we did is we were like, let's give something so special to the VIPs.

And then we're like, what should we give? And we're like, probably, like, a star sticker. And then they were like, well, let's give them jean jackets. And we're like, oh, my God, this is amazing. And then we felt kind of bad for you basic bitches. Wait, I have a question. Where's the basic bitches at? Yeah.

I have a question. Are you guys regretting your choices of not getting a VIP ticket? Yeah. I thought so. Yeah. We're sad for you, sorry. It never pays to be cheap, you know what I mean? It never pays to be cheap, honey.

Send all your money on us. So we decided that we would do a giveaway for a jacket only for the basic bitches. Are you ready for your giveaway? One person. One person. One lucky basic bitch is going to win an STS blue jacket. Show us by excitement who would like to be the winner.

i need like a cartwheel or something yeah i feel like that was actually not that great yeah we need a little bit more than that who would like to win their very own vip lady gang jacket from sts blue okay are you guys ready should we hold hands let's all hold hands everyone hold hands even the vips because you're already blessed with the jacket pray for the basic bitches pray for the basic bitches okay and silence i was silence now everyone that's in the basic bitch right lower your head and pray that it is you who wins pray to the rosé pray to the rosé all right now reach under your chair one person and one lucky winner is gonna have a golden ticket to win a jacket. We have a winner. Put them up if you win. We need to see our winner.

Oh, we have a winner. We have a winner. Everyone go under their seats. Reach under your chairs. Give a winner. You have a winner. Are you under your chairs? Put your hands in the air. This is very exciting. You get a jacket. You get a jacket. You get a jacket. You get a jacket. You get a jacket you all get jackets for those of you who are drunk yeah if you're not reaching under your chair you get a freaking jacket stand up stand up i want to see this table are you so excited you basic bitches every one of our basic bitches gets a jacket and if you great you guys are some heavy drinkers because that took a little bit i know come on took a moment are you so happy back there or no because we can take them back

does everyone understand that every girl leaving here is getting a damn lady gang jacket okay okay thank you you know what i just realized there's not many kelty knights in the audience because this bitch loves a free gift. We don't. All right, so listen, we're going to continue on. Now, if you by chance are sitting on a chair that did not have a thing, we have them at the end for you.

Every person here is leaving with a jacket. Thank you, STS Blue. They're the best. All right, enough of this free shit. We're making you pay now that we're reality TV stars. We're never doing this again. Okay, what's happening? Hello, hello, hello, and welcome to the Lady Gang!

I am Becca Tobin. We're going to call me Beyonce today. I am here with Jack Bennett. Oh, get out of here! And Kelty Knight. Am I Kelly or Michelle? I want to be Michelle. Oh, one of you has to be Kelly. I want to be Kelly.

Okay, great. God damn it. All right. First of all, let me just say, there's so many hot women in this room. We have some hot listeners. But also some, like, hot, like, boss women who, like, you guys are out there, like, connecting with each other, like, hooking each other up with jobs, boyfriends, kids, cures for your yeast infections, hot moms, what's up, mom, a lady mom, also, fun fact, my hot mom

is here. My hot mom is also here. and she's here with her two best friends from high school and they last night referred to themselves as the original lady gang okay and also Jack's mom is here

my whole family is here and my mom is not here cause she doesn't love me enough to come to my events which is pretty much the way I am the way I am always hoping that I get famous enough for your approval

Sheila I love Sheila Sheila likes you Sheila sometimes sends me text messages after ET airs and she goes you're looking a little dead

you need a spray tan alright she's not wrong on that note what's it time for that was terrible it was terrible it's time

see it's it can answer Rebecca and now it's time for thank you thank you oh no oh yeah jack vanek let's start with you because jack requested to go first because she's so nervous she said she would throw up if she didn't go first i need to get it over with so the hard part of my day is over so i can just chug a bunch of rose and get pretty drunk it's true like wait wait is everybody a little bit tipsy right now are you guys gonna find our our story is funny okay no probably not we're so not entertaining okay so i'm sorry kelty but

my good week is kind of a little bit of a bad week oh my god and i know how much that really grinds your gears however it is the most jackmanic thing that has ever happened to me in my entire life so it kind of like comes back to a good week so the other weekend i mean it's a lady hang you couldn't save this for like a shitty regular tuesday you have to confuse us all during our big live event in new york city i like throwing you off a little bit it really makes me happy to get you all stressed out okay so good week i was at a bar last weekend i know shocker i was at a bar i was drinking yeah i know i know i love you so the world cup was last weekend or the weekend before i don't remember which weekend it was i don't give a shit about the world cup however

what i give a shit about is drinking first thing in the morning so i'm like 7 a.m there's a game there's gonna be a bar full of hot british guys i am in i don't get i don't even know who's playing i don't care don't they have small penises though british guys right i just think they're uncircumcised and they're uncircumcised i don't discriminate but i'm just saying I've had my fair share, that's all. Anyways, I didn't see a penis that day, sadly. Shocker. So, bitch.

So I was at one of my go-to bars on the west side. I get there at 6 a.m. I'm like, this is prime time for an Aperol Spritz. I'm ready to go. And I sit myself right in front of the big screen TV at this bar because I'm like, I get a good view of all the hot guys watching this show, so then or the game so I can see like all these hotties right so I'm sitting at the bar like waiting for the game to start nothing's on the tvs yet the bar is like super packed because I mean

if anybody went to a world cup game it's like insane and you know everybody's filing in the bar is crazy the bartenders are all like crazy with getting drinks so the guy one of the bartenders hands me the remote and he's like turn on the game when there's like five minutes before the game so it's like 6 55 in the morning and i'm like you know it's my time to shine i'm gonna turn on the game i got it the tv turns on and i'm flipping through the channels and i'm like oh hln my favorite channel it's like a true crime channel oh forensic files marathon i'm gonna do i'm gonna you know it'd be a funny little prank to just like turn on forensic files while everybody wants the world cup to happen so i turn it on 655 immediately booze from the entire bar and i'm

like i'm just kidding i'm gonna turn it back to the game ha ha funny joke i go to try to change the channel the remote is just like not working and it's not only just the big screen tv it is every tv and the entire bar playing a forensic files episode which is one of my favorites about michael peterson that pushed his wife down the staircase yeah you guys know i love him so i'm having a grand old time i love that episode it's so good it's almost like that time joanna gains did like a shiplap wall it's wild they're all the same so i'm like funny like prank jokes over i go to change the channel the remote doesn't work it's stuck on forensic files for 30 minutes the booze start turning into a chance of kick her out i get hoisted up by two hot british guys by the

way and escorted out of the bar and that is how i got kicked out of my first bar at 7 a.m so i think that's a good week i like it it's good how did that turn into a good week again because i love forensic files oh so it's okay i'm sorry i just need to just clarify something right now is so are you gonna also do a good week or is that just a good week bad week No, my next week, my next thing is, like, a bad, bad week. So that was your good? That was my good-ish, bad-ish sort of meet in the middle week. God, Kelsey.

My bad week. So I was at the dentist last week because I'm a responsible adult, and I was going in for my cleaning. But unlike a responsible adult, I don't floss. Like, I should be. So I'm at the dentist. He's telling me how I should be flossing. I'm like, I have a permanent retainer.

I'm a freaking dork. I don't know it's like annoying to floss whatever so he's telling me I have a thing like a special flosser for that I know it's an they have a water pick it's called a go-between I learned about it at my dentist appointment between sounds like a sex toy like a go-between technically you could shoot a water pick at your clitoris and it could be a lot like the hot tub um it's like the magic one that's made technically technically dentist is telling me about these go-between things but don't or do okay dentist is telling me about these they're like a piece of metal with a little flossy thing on it whatever he's telling me about it i'm like you know what i'm gonna take charge of my

life i'm not getting gum disease i'm getting these stupid go-betweens so i'm on my phone i'm like i'm gonna buy them on amazon here we go and i'm like going through amazon with him and he's showing me which one i should buy and he takes my phone and he's like kind of like showing which which one i pick you know pressing all the buttons and stuff somehow some way some random boy that i dated a year ago thought that 11 30 a.m on a tuesday was a great time to send not one not two but like 10 dick pics it was a full-on dick pic photo shoot i haven't talked to this guy in 10 months and the best part about it was the dentist was like trying to press the back button on something and he you know like on an iphone like the pictures or a text message pops up on the top

of your thing well he clicked on the text message and it went to the text thread and it took him a second to realize like what he had gone to and then he's like I don't think these are for me and then that is when I died and I think I might be a ghost wow wow wow wow very good would you like to go or should I go I'll go okay that was my karma I just hit myself in the lip that looks fun okay this doesn't even come off I'm gonna have to move okay good week i go hiking in my neighborhood regularly it's my form of exercise runyon no it's just in the hills in the hollywood hollywood hills she's so famous in the hollywood hills not a big deal silverstone yeah okay so i go hiking and i do this loop and you know i'm

scared of the sun because i'm in i'm 30s as kelty has now we're 30s it's like everything How old are you? We're 30s Kelty was just describing herself And she's like you know I'm 30s I can't do that I am 30s You don't have to know

So I'm 30s and I wear this giant Like horrible looking hat When I go hiking It is disgusting I also wear hideous clothing Because there's no one who's going to see me out Who cares So I'm walking up the hill and this car goes like zooming past me and it really pisses me off because I'm walking with the most precious animal on the planet, Orly, and we're walking and I'm like, that was inches away from my dog.

dog so there's a stop sign ahead and i come up to the stop sign and i'm like an 80 year old woman and i'm like excuse me this is a residential area and there are dogs and children and he was i swear to god the hottest like 16 year old i've ever seen and he looks at me and he's like get a life swear to god but this is my good week so hold on just to sorry just to clarify that was your bad week no this is a good week the whole thing okay okay so we're continuing on your good week I love that both of our good weeks are kind of bad weeks no wait okay okay so I'm walking and I'm walking and the whole time I'm like first of all like he should have just taken one look at my beautiful face and been like I'm so sorry do you need a ride like something and he just didn't so then

I'm like, fuck that kid. Like, fuck that. Who even has kids anymore? Fuck him. And I like get up to the stop sign for the first time. In the two years that I've lived in this house, there is a cop car and it has pulled over his douchebag car. And you know what I do? Excuse me, I have a camel toe. I was like, oh, thank you, officer. We need more of you out here you're so old i'm so old you're so 30 i'm so old i'm so old the officer was like you're welcome so anyways saddest good week i've ever heard it was amazing i was like i had like a new lease on life okay so here's my bad week i'm on an airplane p.s your dad jack is like videoing hi dad sorry for the dick pics hey dad this isn't like the eighth grade concert

recital this is nothing to be proud of you should definitely not be videoing this you guys my parents flew out here from california to come to this they would come to anything that i am a part of okay hey dad i can't wait till we're so famous and they do like a hollywood e true hollywood stories because we're gonna be on he and we use that footage yeah when the lady gang began they don't do those anymore like the 10-year kardashian reunion when they're like remember when kim had her old face and then you're like ah look at that footage it's true all right okay i'm gonna have a new face in 10 years i'm cool with it hell yeah i hope i do i'm gonna be so rich sorry i'm drunk continue on i haven't made any money it's your time it's your time becca it's your time okay

So, I'll have my same face, because it's pretty good, you know what I mean? I'm not complaining. Just kidding. Okay. So, I'm on an airplane, and I'm flying coach. This is your bad week? Becca, that's not relatable. I'm flying coach, because somehow, I'm still not rich.

We sold out a goddamn venue in two days, and I'm getting $5 for this. I'm not sure how. I'm going to check on that in a second. Wait, wait, wait. We're getting $5? Like, less. Okay. Anyways, it doesn't matter.

We're doing it because we love it. Spend all the money on the jackets. Okay. So I'm flying coach economy. Kelty hasn't been in it in a while. What? She loves to talk about JetBlue Mints that nobody else flies. I don't even know about that.

Jack was like, I want to change my flight. Why is it so expensive? I was like, because I put you in business class. She's like, what's that? I'm like, oh, God. Anyway. I'm a normal person, you bitch. Anyway, back to being a relatable human.

um i'm in coach and i waited very long to check in so i got a middle seat and i was like sucks but like fine you know i'm gonna live with it it's only a couple more months until i have to live this life you know what i mean we're gonna be on e in october probably anyways so i'm like i'm gonna really like revel in this and be like remember this remember this Okay, so I'm in my middle seat, and I feel like lately, just like Jack, I'm taking control of being an adult at the ripe age of 30s. And I'm like, I'm going to freaking drink more water because I just don't drink enough water. I'm going to really hydrate. I buy this, like, giant smart water, and I'm in my airplane seat, and I'm chugging my water.

And then suddenly I realize I have to pee really, really, really, really, really bad. And I look over at the guy who's, like, not unattractive in the seat next to me in the aisle. he's dead asleep so I'm like I'm gonna wait a little bit because you know people doze off and then you catch him as they're like opening their eyes and readjusting you're like oh excuse me so I'm like sitting there nothing is happening he must have taken an ambien because he's out you know I love an ambien and I'm like okay this is so I like start ruffling in my seat I'm like maybe if I make enough noise and he's gonna like wake up he doesn't so I'm like I'm gonna have to climb over this man

so I've done it before a million times and this is my move when you're short and you know who you are you can't actually get over a seat by just going like this because otherwise there's knees here like he's a tall man so I'm like

I would be like riding him like a child like riding the pony so I'm like this is what you do in that situation you actually get up and you do one arm rest like this and it's like a lap dance

So I'm like, left foot, done it. Right foot. I'm about to make my dismount. He sneezes. He sneezes and he headbutts my vagina. A headbutt. I fall back. So now he's here, and I'm here, and I'm like, I'm so sorry.

I'm so sorry. There's more. There's more. We're, like, way over time, but, like, I'm so enjoying this. So just keep going, Becca. And I was like, oh, my God. Oh, my God. Still on the armrest.

I don't know why. I was like, oh, my God, oh, my God, I'm so sorry. I have to pee so bad. I have to pee so bad. And his wife, his wife, they must boast like aisle seats a lot because she's in the aisle across from him. And she's like, oh, my God, what are you doing? I was like, what does it look like I'm doing?

I'm trying to pee. If you sit in an aisle seat, you cannot sleep like you're in a coma. And then I was exiting the airplane and the first class flight attendant caught wind of this and she looks at me and she goes, you're like a little Russian gymnast, aren't you? Oh my God, that's the nicest compliment ever. Ever. That's so nice. I was like, yes, yes, thank you.

So there you go. Okay. That was bad. Okay. Hey everyone, I'm Kelty and we are very behind schedule, so I'm going to go quite quickly. Let's make this fast. Because Becca had to do a dance routine just then, like, a full, like, theater. It was worth it.

It was worth it. Theater. Okay. So my good week right now is that I started an Instagram for my dog. Is that your good week? Yay! What's your bad week? Wow, that's so good.

Well, I want to tell you that I don't find, as you guys know, there's not much in my life that brings me joy. Because I'm living in a constant state of, like, list making and doing things. um and so callie at callie the street dog is my new instagram for my dog callie that i rescued from mutt scouts what are you talking about me over there you bitches they're following now that's what she wanted in case you were wondering the lady is literally using this whole thing to get her dog instagram followers i'd just like to let you know i have no pressure i don't care Callie is C-A-L-L-E The street dog

But I will say Well this is a good side note Jack At the Lady Gang Is like 5,000 followers Away from trumping me Kelty on Instagram Let's make it happen Also I would like to

There will be people following the Lady Gang Which I continue to keep running That don't follow me That follow the Lady Gang Kelty did you know that my side meme Instagram almost has more followers than your regular Instagram. How dare you? Who the fuck did that? You're out.

I'm taking your jacket. You're kicked out. Anyway, Callie the street dog. And I want to tell you that what I've been doing lately is that I will go into Callie and I'll post a picture and then I'll go to at Kelty and I'll leave a message from Callie on my own Instagram

that's like, God, Mom, you look like shit. And then I'll go to my Instagram and then I'll leave a message on Callie's Instagram that's like, hey girl you're so cute and then all i do is like i'm in the airplane and i'm in cars by myself like living alone is this a good week it's a good week and so all i do is like i find so much joy in going back and forth and playing the characters of like myself and also callie on instagram and it's really fun that's all that's literally bad week is your bad week that oh my bad week has to do with you

jack i'm so glad you asked bad week so i'm going to las vegas to see celine dion because celine dion's a goddess wait there's people from the tv show here and can you please now send a group email to add celine dion to the list please of guests we would like to have on the e-show thank you because i forgot about her anyway celine dan's a god and like a cherished queen of canada and so I'm like I'm gonna go take my friends as their bachelor party to see Celine Dion my best gaze I'm made of honor because I'm like such a good friend

and so I go to Vegas and Jack's like oh I'm going to Vegas too where are you staying and I'm like oh the Venetian I booked some rooms and she's like oh really I got my rooms for free oh cool and she's like do you have a cabana and I was like

no I don't have a cabana and then you know exactly what I'm saying and then she was like no I'll hook you up with my girl at the Venetian I'm sure she'll comp your rooms and give you a cabana like she's totally cool and I'm like okay I'm like great wow you know because I love free stuff and um so then I write her contact at the Venetian and I was like hey it's me from the lady gang that you love and um also national television um and I am also coming to las vegas when jack's coming and i she's she said you gave her some sweets and also cabana and i was just wondering if i could like hop in on that and like three days go by and i

don't get an answer and i'm like don't feel bad guys she did this to herself i was like jack do you do i have the right email and she's like you know that's her right she she emailed me right away responded to me instantly it was like so excited i was coming yeah um so then uh she wrote be back and she was like unfortunately we will not be able to extend a room or cabana to you at this time um but we would love to treat you to a free round of drinks at the pool so i waved to kelty from my cabana so then we're in vegas at the same time jack's wearing a fucking leopard print bikini shocker and she's like oh cool i'm at my cabana and i was like cool well, come on over to our cabana that I paid for.

And that was my bad week. And no one laughed, but it was sad for me because that's all. This is so depressing. No, I really hope that the E! show makes me more famous, but my expectations are low. Okay, Jack, now it's time for you to read our collective good week. Can you see it? I told you to bring your glasses.

Kelty printed this off way too small I can't read anything if anybody doesn't know I can't see shit I know I know it is um we want to say a special thank you to Claremont Lincoln University I don't know if any of you guys know but we just gave away

well we're giving away a hundred thousand dollars worth of masters scholarships I hope everybody entered they're an incredible incredible online school that you guys can take from anywhere in the country if you are like a full-time mom or if you have a full-time job you can do it on your off time and they are absolutely wonderful they have a booth here so please go check them

out we love them so much and we will be announcing our winners very soon good i'm glad that we did that was i okay no you did so good thank you thank you i was like prepping the girls in the hotel room i'm like you guys we need to go over the rundown okay so next um next what's gonna happen is a part of the show we like to call allegedly what's happening now back to the lady gang so as you guys know there's no one here that listens to the podcast although you're all super fans it's fine i'm going to give the girls a topic and we're going to tell you what we think about this shit that's going on in the world right now oh yeah it's serious but i do want to take a crowd question so right now we're planning our show on e and did we

mention that do we mention oh my god it's in my mind i have so much going on right now it's so much going on it's not like it's the most exciting thing that's ever happened to any of us in our entire lives um and so do you guys think we need to do an allegedly what's happening on the television you do okay cool that's what i thought okay first of all we would like to talk about priyanka chopra and middle jonas nick jonas as somebody that doesn't know what the hell is ever happening in hollywood are they like a couple yes they have gone public no he took her to a family wedding whoa wait who that's serious jonas someone in his family got married and she Oh, so it's not like another Joe bro.

Like, it's not one of the weddings that anybody cares about. No, it wasn't a Joe bro, but it was a family wedding. Okay. But she did not take him to the royal wedding. Did she go alone? She went alone. She probably didn't get a plus one. She's lucky she was at the royal wedding.

But don't you think a good plus one would be Nick Jonas? Out of anybody in the world, they're very, like, love-focused. Yeah, if he wanted to look very statuesque that night. Yeah. Wait, how much taller is she than him? Nick Jonas is an appropriate height to date Becca Tobin. So he's like a good 5'4"? Not an appropriate height to date Priyanka.

That's fine. Priyanka Chakrabart was f***ed with Nick Jonas. Wait, what'd you say? I would look like a leggy. Oh, you would look very leggy. You'd be like, damn, super leggy. Oh my God. Do they have extra leg room in this lift?

I think Priyanka is too good for Nick Jonas. Absolutely. Agreed. Absolutely. What is she thinking? She could be with, like, a royal person. She could be with the person who invented Earth. She could be with Elon Musk.

That's Grimes is with Elon Musk. He's such an appropriate choice for her. By the way, if anybody knows Elon Musk, I am single. Please let me date you. He's an alien, but sure. I don't give a shit. I want to go to Mars. True.

I recently tried to set Jack up with one of my very rich friends, and she would not take one for the team. She wouldn't. He lives in New York. Does anybody want to take him? Yeah. Okay. You want that $24 million house? You have to have sex with Voldemort.

Just saying. We can't say too much, Kelsey. Next topic. Next topic. Justin Bieber's is engaged, honey. Boo. You guys. Boo.

You guys. Who read this Instagram caption? It was weird. It was really weird. Like, was he on drugs? He was high. He was high. but was he on like an illegal drug like not the weed we love the weed we love the weed

bad drugs bad drugs but jack jack did you appreciate his use of numbers and facts because he was like on the seven of the seven of the seven no no i have the best part of that he was like whatever the he said about that like seven seven seven google it like who says google it in like a proposal message like that's just not the most romantic thing i've ever heard and Maybe I don't, I wouldn't want that for myself. Google it. They're young. Maybe they're like, this is what millennials, whatever the thing after millennials do.

What's after millennial? Gen Z. Gen Z. Gen Z's do. I don't know. That's a lame name. Becca. He's not a drunk.

I don't know. Being a married woman, do you like Biebs engaged? Well, number one, he's too young. Way too young. Because in my mind, Justin Bieber's still 11, right? Well, and Hailey Baldwin's like 21. She's like a little BB. Yeah, she's a baby too.

Also, like, I just don't want to get inside of that sexual experience. Like... Nobody should be having sex until they're, like, in their 20s. Anyway. Like, like, like... But, like... Freaks me out. You know, first of all, we all know that famous men cannot...

Okay? They're... They don't have to try. Wait. I'm sure, and when I say I'm sure, I know, not from my experience, from a friend. A friend. And the more famous a man is, the more starfish, dead fish you're going to get. Wait, but we have to, I think the point is, he's been famous since he was a child.

Yeah. So he's never had sex as a normal person. Never. He doesn't even know where the clitoris is at all. He probably still thinks it's, like, where every high school boy thinks it is, like, way up in your cavity. In your butt somewhere. You're like, I think I've got it. He's going to jackhammer a little bit, and it'll be great.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That is not where it is. It's not. We need to do a little tutorial. I just feel like she could do really good. you know what i mean also i'm just saying i mean this is a great opportunity for me to let you guys know that i was at the met gala um and when i was at the met gala as media i didn't get to go in whatever um anyway at the met gala hayley came with sean mendez who by the way is like six two

and so wait oh i would have sex with sean mendez you guys i i did google sean mendez's age after watching a youtube video of him and i'm like maybe i could like slide in until i realized he was 19 years old he's 19 i wouldn't have sex with him but 19 he's so cute okay next topic recently the police found 82 grams of drugs in a wisconsin woman's vagina in a plastic bag and that bag full of drugs was about the size of a human fist. Discuss. Girl. Do we know what kind of drugs? What? Do we know what kind of drugs? That's probably cocaine. Probably. But wait. That's heroin? Heroin? Someone said heroin. But here's the thing. If it's in a bag. Okay, girl. How's your day? She's like, last week when I took heroin across the border. She's

like, it was definitely heroin. I know because I've done the exact same thing. It was me. It was actually me I'm from Wisconsin Listen, this is how I feel Anatomically, a woman can hold Like a watermelon in there Right? A baby? Yes Some might call it a baby, some might

Call it a watermelon But if you're gonna go so far As to smuggle A fistful Like a baby little fist of cocaine Like, I'm sorry You're gonna get arrested either way if you get caught put a goddamn watermelon

sized bag a duffel bag up there like go big or go home I have to say from watching all these true crimey kind of shows if that bag busts she's dead

she's gonna have a great time I really admire her hustle into getting those drugs through I mean bitch is she's determined she's on the lady gang next week She is. She's going to be her best guest.

I have an important question. Okay, Jack and Becca, if you had to smuggle drugs, would you smuggle drugs? I'm so sorry, Dad. He's still filming. Dad, stop filming. Your dad's not here. If you had to smuggle drugs, would you smuggle them fist in your vag or fist in your ass? Easy.

Vag. It's unanimous. We're a mixed bag. Vag. It's, oh. Right? is there anyone listen I want to know

if you're out there and you're voting but right here top notch this bitch oh my god that girl looks so much

like Becca I like your shirt uh uh very cute I'm still a virgin down there girls I might auction it off next year

when I'm famous okay next comment okay Nikki Bella our future co-star on E

I don't know who that is, has said Wait, wait, wait, wait. Is there any WWE fans in here or is it just me? There's a couple. There's four. I love Nikki. Nikki Bella says that she couldn't masturbate after watching her on-again-off-again

love John Cena's sex scene with Amy Schumer. But like, why? Because of him or she wasn't into her? Into her? well he's really awkward and like his role is like

weird I mean his sex scene are you talking about in uh in train wreck yeah I think it's more I love that everyone in the audience is like these girls we're gonna have our own lady gang at our table everyone's talking over us discuss among yourselves you're not even listening anymore you're like girlfriend

Susie I know I can't believe it I couldn't masturbate after I saw my man's porn by the way this is all to us this is our fucking show No, this is all that we wanted, is to have girls make friends with each other, you bitch. Yeah. And also, being on the other end of that wrath, let me apologize and say I'm sorry. And I know that you guys were just clarifying for your friends who don't like WWE, like everyone in this room.

You should, though. Who the f*** John Cena and whatever her name is, okay? Nikki Bella. Nikki Bella. Okay, this is why she couldn't masturbate after watching him in that movie, because he's a terrible actor. Period. Also, did she say this in an interview? Yes.

What was it? Yeah. But could it also have been because they broke up because he didn't want to get married or have kids? No. No. I have a theory. Nothing makes me hornier than a man that doesn't want kids. So that's not it.

Okay. A man that's like. I will say this. As the professional Emmy winner in this group. Who's interviewed them extensively, both of them. I will say I know exactly what's going on with Nikki Bella and Sean Cena oh shocker because you made this question

let me tell you this Nikki Bella no I gotta start with John John is like the safe choice John is no one knows who to call John is like the number one wrestler in the WWE let's move on we have five WWE fans

out there you want to go to our I'm just saying John is serious he's like the Kelty like he's serious and he's going to marry you and he's going to love you forever. And Nikki's like, I recently got famous. I recently realized how hot I was on Dancing with the Stars when I was doing that samba. And I want to play the field.

That's all. Okay, next topic. Does anyone actually feel that hot when they're doing Dancing with the Stars? Yeah. I can't wait until they ask me to be on Dancing with the Stars. Okay. Next question. Thank you.

No, girl, I'm going to be too sarcastic. You're supposed to be looking at me saying you're going to be on Dancing with the Stars soon. That's bullshit. Okay, here we go. I will never be on Dancing with the Stars. The man with the longest fingernails of all time finally cuts them after 66 years. He is 82 years old,

and his fingernails were 29 feet collectively. Like, what are, what are, what? So it's one of those that he holds it up like this, and then it just starts curling. They curl. They were curly. I saw the picture. And they're all brown and nasty and moldy.

Why do you cut them? I think it was just time. You know what my biggest fear is? Let me bring this something relatable. My biggest fear is growing old. Been there. My biggest fear is growing old with Zach. And one day, let me finish.

And one day. That's a fear. being at the beach or something and being like, oh my god, we've made it like 60 years. I don't think we could do that, actually. But anyways, because we'll be dead. I'm like, 60 years, and then I look down in the sand

and see his old man toes. Like, old man toenails. There is nothing worse. Why are they so thick? Why are they so thick? Why do they get so thick and so yellow?

Like, they've been doing shellac on their toes for 50 years like why are they that color i want to barf like forget about saggy balls that's fine i don't touch those anyway but like a thick ass cheddar cheese toenail i can't imagine that like on a plane on a seat right in front of you there is nothing yeah well we gotta stop talking about okay next topic next topic i'm gonna barf okay top gun two nobody knows what that is because you're so young i hate you they don't i have something to say i have something to say has anybody seen the original top gun no not that not that has anybody seen that tom cruise has three front teeth

that's all i care about great anyways look it up google it cool okay show of hands show of hands It's Saturday, you're going to the movies Will you go see Top Gun 2 Oh you took your hand down Because you're embarrassed, you're the only one I'm so embarrassed for you, girl I'll go with you No, Tom Cruise

Is a no bueno from Kelty No, no, no He's my bad week Okay next topic, last one It's the very last one Britney Spears Oops Did it again

She says she's totally down For a Mickey Mouse Club reunion Are all of you guys old enough To want to see that Brit Brit Aguilera JT Gosling

And some others that went nowhere Oh wait Carrie Wait Felicity Carrie Russell Ryan Gosling I already said that Are you not listening

becca if they were like we need a reunion and we need some other people that are now like old but can sing and dance would you join yeah i love money i love money that's it just money don't give a shit about mickey mouse club just money i'll do it i didn't even watch the mickey mouse but i appreciate she said she said in an interview with um entertainment tonight that it was um it It was exclusive. Don't plug that show. You're not an executive producer on it. That's true.

I'm just a mere mortal. You need to keep plugging me, you bitch. She said that it was the happiest time in her life. Because she was a child. She needs to aim way higher. Way. Okay. So that's the end of Allegedly.

What's happening? What's coming up? Becca, it's your turn. It's time for you to say something. Follow along. Have you already gone to the last page? It's not over. By the way, Colton did not give us these one-outs until like two hours.

it's time get excited we're giving away is that me no shit oh wait okay message number two message number two okay question for you are you excited about your almay freebies well you got so much stuff there's some good shit in there it's my favorite eye makeup remover on the planet true story um we want to thank them for being a part of this event we love also if you're like kelsey knight and you love more more more more more free stuff to just clutter up your bathroom i'm just kidding if you want more we're gonna do an instagram giveaway of even more of the products which are good we wouldn't give out garbage you know that we can't bullshit it's good shit and you're gonna have an instagram giveaway when this week this

week keep your eyes peeled i actually don't know elena knows for sure but we'll let you know soon um also i want to say that we're on the hotel getting ready and i was like guys i can't wait till we're on e because i'm gonna get so much free shit and then these two sad sallies were like i don't like free stuff it's always junk i don't like it i don't want free stuff so when we did this event i was like please god don't give anyone junk like i yeah so no good shit we have good shit only we have been very very specific with our sponsors that we want for this event with brands that we give so much of a shit about yeah so we're not giving you guys bullshit yeah you're gonna love it give your life okay jack it's time for you to introduce our next segment

which we just made up in the hotel. What's it called? She spelled this wrong. Don't read it. Don't read it because I spelled it wrong because I didn't go to college. You spelled it Trival Trivia, but it is Trivial Trivia.

Trivial Trivia! Who wants to win some shit? Thank you. Okay. Elena! Elena! Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

More people care about Elena than us. Yes. you guys i have to say i have got to say that without elena we'd literally i would have died a pile of mush and we have never heard you any of the things that we have done she's like the glue that holds us together and we later where are the gifts where are they under the table in front of us elena we're drunk oh that's a gift i thought it was my purse tell them what they're doing pull out the presents

put them out oh my god this is a trivia section of the podcast I want to read you the rules oh my god oh my god if we call your name

and Elena comes around with a mic and you cannot or do not answer the question correctly there's no asking a friend

there's no your friend being like don't yell it out you guys don't yell it out because if you yell it out you're missing your chance to win this good shit

for the LA lady hang we are very nice and we let friends yell out answers this is not the case here you need to be a super super fan it's you it's you and it's you only and if you miss out on it and you are publicly shamed forever that's your fault yeah for not listening to every 153 episodes of the lady gang holy shit yes next question please be quiet this is very important to me all right am i doing this this is very serious shit so don't fuck up the first gift i already did jack is reading the question i will tell you what the gift is and becca will be doing vanna white here we go do we need to call the person first no no we're gonna call it after no you should call the person stop

trying to produce the show i i think that's a good way to do it though okay get excited before Becca, please stand up and do Vanna. We are giving away one gift certificate worth $250 to shop with our lovely sponsor, Largo Drive. We are all, stand up, Jack, wearing Largo Drive today. They have very cute clothing, swimwear, activewear, and more. Largo Drive is an online boutique with perfectly curated pieces for your everyday life. There are crop tops for anybody that wants a crop top. listeners that could not make it

to the Lady Gang. Check out our Instagram this week for a gift certificate after this episode airs. But now, Jack, it is time to pull a name. We're going to spill them all out on the table so everyone has a fair shot. Oh, shit.

Oh, my God. Just pull one out of there. It's really full. How do you open it? Okay, hold on. Alright. Everyone has to be included you oh my god these are on post-its and they're stuck together okay elena emily lawrence what is her name emily lawrence emily lawrence yeah stand up emily stand up stand up

elena's coming for you where's elena we'll see you in her gold suit she's coming she's over here elena doesn't elena's hair look so cute today i mean she's doesn't elena look like a boss we just love her okay this is for 250 from largo drive are you ready i think so which of the two out of the five fab five from queer eye were on the lady gang no help no help jonathan van ness and Karamo. Yay! Done! Congratulations.

You're about to buy this dress. Amazing. Amazing. They have really cute stuff. Honestly, it's cute. Oh my God, I love you. Okay. You're amazing.

Next giveaway. Are you ready? Swirl it up. I think this is in the bag. Is it Mika? This is from Mika, who's been in our lady box before. The winner will receive, as modeled by Glee Star from season three on, Becca Tobin,

this is a bag packed with Amika's best-selling styling and wash products, including the Perk Up Dry Shampoo, Soul Food Nourishing Mask, and an Amika Polished Perfection Straightening Barash. Honey! Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. There's a lot of other shit.

I just don't have that many. The bag is cute, too. The bag is cute, too. Okay, Jack, please read. Wait, no. Read the name. Christina Abrams. Where is she?

Please raise your hand and stand up. Yeah, girl! Christina, stand up. Christina, stand up. Thank you. Christina, are you ready? Christina, you're in the VIP. Stand up.

No, Christina, I'm serious. Please stand up. Thank you. Okay, here we go. Christina, are you ready for your question? so ready in Jenna Fisher's episode she told us about this story

about this actor that she awkwardly hugged at an audition but he happens to be mine and Becca's old man crush Jerry Seinfeld no no next

next Next. Stop screaming my name. Do not yell it. Do not yell it. We will pick another person. It could be you. Don't scream out the name.

Okay, Erin. This is getting so hyped. Erin. Shit. Who is it? Jeff? Crew? Kria?

Is that you? Okay. Do you know? Do you know? Ask the question again, please, Jeff. Okay, and Jenna Fisher was on our episode. She told us this. It's probably my favorite story in the entire world where she hugged.

an old, old man actor and it was the most awkward experience of her entire life and Becca and I fight over him all the time. Who is it? Hello, ladies. Hi, we love you. Hello, ladies? No, I was saying hello. Larry David. Larry David!

Done. Yes. That is correct. I'm sorry about your luck. You'll be publicly shamed in the lady gang forever. Thank God you're wearing a jumpsuit in that car wheel. It was close. It was close.

Larry David did make Seinfeld, so I understand. You're so nervous because we're talking to you because we're big stars. Your braid looks beautiful. Jerry Seinfeld. Oh, that was close. Okay. What's the next prize? All right, next question.

Giveaway number three. Please be quiet. Excuse me. I know you're excited about your shit, but we need to keep going. You're going to have the prettiest hair ever. we want to thank C.O. Bigelow for giving us not one, not two but three special gift boxes

with some of their top brands now we are giving away two of those today yes that's it but we are also going to give one away on our Instagram so all the girls across the world because we're so popular can also enter

so right now we're giving away this Gulcha gift basket worth over $170 this is filled with the best gulcha items rose water that if you got the latest cruel summer lady box you have been using also

rose elixir rose dust exfoliator and a facial massage plate that I used this morning that gave me these cheekbones Jeff who is our questioner oh shit Gabrielle Kelly where you at girl

oh my god okay she was there yesterday too that's not your question oh my god she's the best this is um oh you probably have you have to know this okay don't please be quiet it's please be quiet this is important this is this is the most important question the lady gang is getting their very own tv show this fall what network i got it i got it done I fucking love you she's the best

she's the best she was there at her conferences I was in LA yeah you were at her conferences today you really love us it's creepy but like yay do you follow me on Instagram probably not

alright next question Becca are you ready the next giveaway please listen to me it's so important the next giveaway It's from a very Fancy In Capri, Italy

This is from With over $250 Worth of product Candles Two perfumes retailing each at $140 Honey you are not buying that $5.99 body spray from CVS

Okay Diffuser, re-diffuser And fancy hand cream Okay Who is it? This is my favorite question. We decide on this question together. This question's so good.

Okay. Who is it, Jack? Wait, this... Oh, wait, here we go. Steph Azorro or Rozo? Oh, girl, right in front again. Wow, this table's really lit. Wait, Steph, I have a question.

Have you listened from the very beginning? When you were the vampire? Yeah! Is that the answer? Voldemort? Is that the answer? Are you ready for your question? Are you ready?

I'm ready. Don't. Do you know the Lady Gang Dictionary? Do you know the words? Yes. She feels like she knows the Lady Gang Dictionary. Yeah, right. I mean, if anybody hasn't been listening since the very beginning, we have come up with a bunch.

We've gathered many, many terms that are very Lady Gang relevant. And the first one that started it all is dick sand. What does that mean? please give us the dictionary definition of dick sand when you are dating a guy and he sucks you into his dick sand

you get stuck in the dick sand you get stuck in the dick sand girl you got it okay so sorry for you other losers that didn't win anything sorry for all you guys Well, you all get a f***ing coat, which essentially is the exact same price as your ticket, so you're fine. Also, tune in to our Lady Graham.

Oh, I'm so drunk, I can't even talk. She can't. You still have not finished a single glass of wine. It's our Instagram. Guys, just follow us on Instagram. We're going to give away more stuff. Next, Jack, it's your turn. It is?

What are we doing? Oh, I mean. Oh, my God, there's a whole page I didn't see. what's i mean we're not doing what's in the box but we are doing a live ask the lady gang hey ladies get funky ask the lady gang we're answering your questions about yourselves it's like ask the lady gang you guys know so burning questions you don't have to say your name Come on. You don't have to say your name.

So that when this airs, your name is not there. You can be anonymous. Yes, we have one. Do you have one? Please, everyone in this room. You have one? Bout your heads. Where's Elena?

Pray to the Wolfer Rose. All of them have one. Please bow your heads. Pray to the Wolfer Rose. Elena, Elena, Elena. What happens? Elena, Elena, Elena. She's right there.

I can't do anything without her. Wait, she has a person? Oh, she's way back there. Sorry. Okay. I was talking to my fans. elena how dare you don't try to get a spin-off before we've even debuted you bitch the elena show oh no she's chugging okay she has someone okay does your fan have an ask the lady in

question or does she just want a picture with you oh okay okay she did want a picture with elena just because we think she's awesome but wow i actually no i you know what you no no okay Kelsey. She doesn't mean that. She doesn't mean that. She's about to tell you. I follow all of you on all social media. You can stay. I can't tell you guys first off how much your podcast means to me. I got my friend and I hooked on it and we do like our own good week, bad week on every single Tuesday. We text each other what our good week, bad week is. But I mean, I've been living it. I just graduated from college and I mean, your show just means so much to me. And I'm, I'm so excited for you guys for this upcoming fall.

But I've been living in New York now. I'm just curious, what is, like, maybe your favorite New York memory that you have? I know that Kelty and Becca both lived in New York at some point. Maybe even Jack, too. You visited a couple times. What is, like, your top New York thing that, like, in your back of your mind you come to? Okay, I'm sorry. I just need to stop for a second.

You're all applauding her, but we literally just said don't ask us questions about ourselves. I was talking to Elena. So don't applaud her for breaking the rules. This is my favorite New York City memory. This is my favorite New York City memory too. It really is. I couldn't even get a friend to come over to my apartment when I lived here. No, my favorite...

I'm sorry, Becca, can I interrupt you? Wait, no, no, are we answering questions about ourselves? No, we're not answering questions about ourselves. I don't even know what's going on right now. Neither do we. We're drunk. My favorite New York City memory is when Jack tried to wear a black thong underneath her outfit today. And she was like, shit, I only have black thongs.

And I literally took off the thong that I had just put on. It had been on 10 minutes. It's true. And she's wearing it right now. And I put on a thong I wore yesterday. You guys, I'm wearing a used thong. That is fucking friendship right there. and jack i didn't want to tell you this in the room oh no but i'm also on my period you're welcome

nope nope i still win for friendship because do you know what it looks like when a grown woman in her 30s removes her underwear i'm sitting there i didn't know what was happening she didn't even warn me. She's already fully dressed in a shoe and a maxi dress, and I just look over and see this. Sexual. I saw in you. There was a lot of vaginas

going on this morning. It's fine. It's true. It's so beautiful. Okay, we have an ask the lady in question. Elena. The blonde in the red dress. Okay, ask a question for yourself. Where's Elena? No, hold on. Where's Elena? I'm coming, I'm coming. Yeah, it's a lovely one.

She's coming red. Please ask the question into, because we're going to air this on Tuesday. Don't say your name if you're. Don't say your name if you. Okay. Or do. Her name is Megan. Hey, Megan.

We love you, Megan. Love the name Megan. All right, so first of all, hello, everybody. Okay, way to hype yourself up. My name's Megan, and I love the name Megan. Okay, girl. I'm hyping all the Megan. Very Kelsey of you.

We see you, Megan. We see you. Okay. Wait, but your name tag says your name's ******. That's my real name. I'm not hyping myself up. This is fake. Okay, sorry.

It's Megan. We'll cut it out. Idiot. Idiot. Okay. We'll cut it out. We'll cut it out. It's fine.

Meredith, continue. Okay, all right. Hi, Megan. Thank you. Megan, what's up? Yes, Megan is here. So, my question is... Put that mic up in there like you're...

In it. In it. Like you're going to suck a dick. Yeah. Love you. So, I was seeing a guy for about five months on and off on... That guy. That guy.

But he was good. Why did you win the song? Super good vibes. Really great chemistry. He kind of broke it off over text. He had a lot going on in his life. He had a new job. All right, you guys are going to feel bad if you're booing.

Dad just got cancer. A lot of different things going on. He needed to focus on himself. Went away for about two months and has now hit me back up. We've gone on two dates. They've been great. Again, the chemistry is amazing. He goes down on you.

That's what that means. Obviously, right? So my question is, do I entertain this revamp, go for it, or do I kind of let him phase out? I don't know. Proceed with caution. Absolutely. You're on an icy road in the mountains.

That is how cautious I want you to drive this relationship bus. Wait, how long did you date him for before? About five months. Oh, so it's a minute. So in the five months, was there a – Was he good or bad in the five months? Good. Good in those five months.

And then all of a sudden, a flip. So it was like within two, three weeks, it was like very hot and cold. And I was like, what the F is up with you? Like, what's going on? Why don't you want to see me? And yeah, again, personal stuff. Okay, I'm going to say something. Yes.

Shocking. Becca shall talk. Okay. Okay. So two things. We're going to the church of Becca. Amen. Praise the Lord.

I praise the Lord. so there's something women do that's really annoying and that is jumping in with two goddamn feet in the deep end and yes becca so five months into a dude is like a week for us let me tell you the dick sand is real it's real oh the dick sand is real girl so you were in the dick sand and he was still like yeah she's cool like yeah yeah even though you're amazing but like five months in maybe with all this other stuff happening in his life had I'm not saying you should feel bad for how you behaved but I think sometimes we get very clingy when we feel something slipping away so we start to get even more like how can I help you I'm here for you I'm here for you I'm here for you

Like, let me make you soup and smoothies and buy you candy. Like, they're like, sew the fuck up. So I think maybe what happened is it's part true that he has a lot going on in his life. But I also think that now with this second chance, you've been given a second chance. Still fuck this guy. But you've been given a second chance. I'll sue this guy. And I think you have to play it so cool.

Act as if Chris Pratt is your side piece. And you're like, yeah, we can meet up for coffee. Chris Pine? Yeah, he's probably better, right? So anyways. Chris Pine is way better than Chris Pratt. What about Chris Evans? I'll take any of them, to be honest.

All the Hollywood Chrises. Chris whoever. Any of the Chrises. So I would say proceed with caution, but be cool as f***. Be cool. Okay? No, you need. It's hard.

It's hard when you have legitimate feelings. Also, when you're fighting, I'm sorry. When you're fighting girls, we've all made this mistake. When you're going into something and you're like, I'm going to be cool. I'm going to be cool. I'm going to be cool. Well, we all know that after three glasses of rosé, you're not cool. And you're talking about kidneys.

You're texting him. You're texting him. So don't drink a lot and tell him. Eh, whatever. Okay, I have another question. All right, next question. Someone has a question. Where's Elena?

Over here. I can't see you, Elena. Back here, back here, back here. I get nervous when I can't see you. Oh, she's back there. Okay. All right, all right. Hi, my name is Jillian.

My friend Laura and I created the DC subgroup of the Lady Gang. Yay! Hold on. Sorry, Lauren, before you go, can we count on you to throw a DC viewing party of the premiere episode of Lady Gang on E? And maybe we'll show up. We were going to ask how to get you guys

to come to one of our meetups. Okay, because D.C. is a pretty big market in television ratings, and we're going to need those ratings so we don't get canceled like instantly. Oh, my God. Well, just come if you throw a good party. So just throw a good party. Send me a T-shirt. Come see us, and we'll have the live viewing.

Done. We've got more people to come to our meetups. Okay, great. I'll bring the Chipotle. What's your question? Well, that was our question, how to get you to come to one of our meetups. Oh, this can't be about us, Lauren. Literally just throw a party, bring us some Roseanne, we're done.

I want the juiciest, dirtiest question, okay? Who has the dirtiest vagina question? Wait, wait, wait. Elena, come here. We see a vagina question.

Please. We've got to do her because all of her friends are like, Elena's coming. This girl. We will come to your D.C., Lady, hang if you pay for our flights and business class. Okay.

Here we go. Here we go. Elena's coming. Let's go. Hold on. Hello. Hello. Same question.

Okay. Okay. We have a problem with boyfriends, trolls. So they're girls who are friends with their boyfriends or ex-girlfriends or boyfriends who are just trolls. Okay. Who just don't leave. My best friend Kat and I call those women predators.

Yes. Wait. So, like, an Instagram troll? Like, is this social media or, like, real life? Like, ex-girlfriends from... Okay, so we're 22. So, we're... Congratulations.

No, seriously, though. Okay, it's annoying, but, like, they're girls who are... They're ex-girlfriends from, like, four years ago who don't matter because it's, like... Yeah, fetuses. Yes. Yes. Or best friends. Kelty's dead.

Oh, my God. Best friends is bullshit. Number one, dude, f*** that. No, they're so annoying. No best friends with an ex. Go fuck yourself. No, honestly, fuck you. Your friend has something to say.

No, I was just going to say, and I ran into my boyfriend's ex-girlfriend at this club in New York last night. And she was trying to be like, oh, hey, you could have said hi, hey. And I was like, you're a troll. Like, I'm not. Okay, but. I'm disgusted by every single one of my exes. I don't want to be friends with you. Like, you can go fuck yourself.

You're a bunch of losers. It's awkward. No, Jack, I need to say something. Oh, no. If someone dated the guy you're dating before you, you just look at them and you're like, ew. Kelsey's just jealous of me. It's fine.

I'm just kidding. Here's what I'm going to tell you, girls. What I'm going to tell you. It's very serious. You need to put your blinders on like this. You can't see anything else except your own man and your own hot body at Pilates. Hot Pilate body. Don't worry about the haters.

What Sheila says to me when I'm like, Mom, someone said I have a face like a horse on television. You just say, if you don't have haters, you ain't shit. Honestly, here's the thing. Here's the thing. your boyfriend is with you for a reason he broke up with his ex for a reason and you just have to leave it at that if she wants to be a jealous

bitch that sucks for her to be wasting so much time on worrying about you and I'm sorry for her like that sucks literally anyone's boyfriend out there husband fiance who's like she's my best friend

you better go through his phone tonight nobody is best friends with their ex you better like log into his messaging on his laptop whatever the fuck they do no I message on laptops

because we all know that it all comes through there you better go through that shit and if that like quote best friend does anything shady you burn her house down absolutely and tell him no honestly

my husband Chris who I love and adore so much. I'm scared. I love him. I am so terrified. He's not here. But he had like a bunch of girl best friends when we started dating and those girls are not around anymore. Goodbye. Alright. I'm glad that we settled that.

One more question? My vagina. Alright. Let's move. One last question. The last question Elena. Hi. I'm Marissa. Hi Marissa. I'm 30. Good for you.

You're 30s? I'm also 30s. Thank you. We know. And I know you guys, I love when you guys talk about babies and having babies. I'm six and a half months pregnant right now. Mama. Paul, Paul, Marissa, Marissa, are you naming your baby Kelty?

Oh, my God. No. No, she's not giving birth to a pug. I was very Becca about pregnancy. But anyway, my question for you girls is, because I know you love talking about babies, having babies, not having babies, is everyone's always like, oh, when you're pregnant, you're going to have this libido and you're going to want to do it with your husband. I feel gross as fuck.

I hate sex. Yes. So I wanted to know what you guys think about sex and pregnancy and having sex when you're pregnant and would you do it? There's a lot. I have a question. Take your top off. No.

I'm just kidding. You look hot to me. I do you. This is like, there is one woman out there, the same woman who's like, I feel so amazing when I'm pregnant. It's like the best I've ever felt. I feel so sexy when I'm pregnant. I'm empowered.

That same bitch is running around town telling the world that she's also so horny and she can't get enough of her husband's cock. she sucks okay if you don't want to have sex with your husband because you're carrying his spawn and your nipples are dark black and your vagina is throbbing then don't

do it honestly f***ing mic drop I have nothing to say so you guys we have a great I want to just run something by you based on your question and also congratulations I can't wait till baby Kelty's born into the world.

It's not going to be Kelty. Because Jack already had a Lady Gang baby named after her. Sorry about your face. Okay. What I want to tell you is that we're thinking about for a Lady Gang Investigates segment on our e-show.

What do you guys think of this? I just want to get this idea. The nipple to boob ratio. Or, or, or, or, Or is my vagina normal? Is my vagina normal? Can I ask a Ask the Lady Gang question?

Yeah. Can I do an Ask the Lady Gang? Okay. Speaking of nipples. Okay. Ask a... Does anybody else... Nipple hairs?

No. Does anybody else have... Okay. There's a difference between where I'm at in my cycle. Like, if I just finished my period and, like, there's no swollen, sore boobs, My breasts look good enough for any fappening.com. They could look good anywhere. You know what I mean?

Like, I'm proud. I'll do a nude scene in a movie as long as it's this cycle of my period. But when I am premenstrual, like right now, if I whip my boob out, it's like my nipple is the size of my f***ing face. Does this happen to anybody else? That wasn't the response you were looking for. I feel a little alone. I'm not going to lie.

Do your nipples get, like, sore? You what? Oh, she has something to say. Okay, show of hands. We're also thinking about investigating nipple hair. So one of my first memories of me is in sixth grade when I think someone saw down my shirt, and then they were like, Kelty has nipple hair?

And I've continued to have nipple hair throughout my adult life. Please, everyone bow your heads, close your eyes. Everyone, bow your heads. Close your eyes. Bow your heads. I see you. You're not bowing. Bow your heads.

Okay, put your hand up if you sometimes have to pluck a nipple hair from your nipple. Okay, look up. I'm not alone. Every bitch in this room. You're not alone, bitch. You're not alone. All right, we got to go. We got to wrap it up.

We have to go. We're going to go now. Hang out with our VIPs in the VIP room. So don't be cheap, girls. Don't be cheap. We love you. Don't be cheap next time. I want to thank Becca Tobin and Jack Vanek.

Oh, thank you. Oh, my God. For being the best partners in the leading of all time. We also want to thank Ricky Rollins. There he is. He's over there with Elena. This is my manager, Ricky Rollins. That's right.

Put this fabulous event together. Yep. His other client just got nominated for an Emmy, but he's here at the Lady Gang. I'm sorry, Ricky. Sorry, Ricky. And can we all please give a giant round of applause to our girl, our mothership, Elena Garcia. Who, P.S., had a problem with her mouth and has been at the emergency dentist. And then I've been teaching her how to take codeine.

She's on codeine. and I'm like girl you gotta eat a bagel before you take those opioids she's doing really well give her lots of hugs we love Elena so much we love Elena we also want to thank STS Blue for giving

every single person in this room even Jack's dad a Lady Gang denim jacket by the way STS Blue denim jeans are f***ing awesome so go to their website

also if you have a friend that's here and maybe they didn't get a ticket to the Lady Gang because we sold out in like 24 hours they can go to stsblue.com and for a limited time until the end of August you can buy your own

Lady Gang denim jacket it's $59.99 we also want to thank Wolfer Wines for getting us wasted today. Thank you so much for lubricating my hamstrings today. We want to thank Largo Drive

for selling dresses that I don't have to wear a bra. We want to thank Amika who got a braid at the braid bar. Who got a braid, bitch? You guys look cute. Oh, they're so cute.

You guys look so cute. Amazing. Amika, thank you. You got a Rebecca Tobin braid? Oh my God, I did. Obviously you love Becca the most. I get it. We want to thank Almay for gifting you all

makeup. We want to thank C.O. Bigelow for the giveaways that y'all in the front rows won. And mostly we want to thank Claremont Lincoln University for trying to educate some crazy

bitches. Yeah, let's make some fucking boss ass bitches. $100,000 worth of scholarships. We love them so much. So, I'm drunk. I don't know how to end this. Okay, let me just say we will thank you guys so much we love you and we'll see you next tuesday join the lady gang every tuesday at itunes and at podcast1.com that's podcastone.com thanks for listening