LadyGang - LQ QUICKIE: ASK US ANYTHING

Episode Date: October 3, 2024

How do you know you're ready for a baby? How do you know when he's the one? How does Jac handle nerves on tour? How does Becca make time for her marriage as a new parent? How does it feel to be the icon that is Keltie Knight? You asked and we answered in today's episode. Check out our amazing sponsors!!! Clearstem: Visit Clearstem.com/ladygang-podcast and use code LADYGANG at checkout for 20% off your first purchase! Land Rover: Build your Range Rover Evoque at LandRoverUSA.com See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

It's time for a quickie. Podcast one presents the Lady Gang, the Hollywood girl posse with Lady Gang Quickie. Here's Kelty Knight, Becca Tobin, and Jack Vanek. Let's make this quick. Hello, hello, hello. Welcome to Lady Gang Quickie. I am Becky here with Jack and Kelty in a refreshing ginger ale. Ever since Kelty got on her ginger ale kick.

It wasn't a ginger ale kick. She thought she discovered ginger ale. true just like barbecue sauce yeah she's a pioneer um i prince derek just made me the most delicious refreshing ginger ale and i haven't had a ginger ale in years with the bubble ice in the special little glass yeah but remember when we were in florida we found out from the guy that worked at the 7-eleven yeah if you mix sprite and coke yeah i don't think it's the same it's not the same i think that was it did taste the same to me it kind of tastes the same i will tell you this as a as the queen of ginger ale um there every brand is so different yeah like

cola is kind of cola no no orange pop you literally did the whole diet coke you're right that just like an off-brand ginger ale is so different than the canada dry ginger ale like canada dry is where it's at canada knows what's up whether it's made in canada or not but i feel proud of us i don't even know i don't even want to know so hello everyone um today we're doing ask us anything so we i we went on instagram and we got all these weird questions from the ladies and they are very strange some of them are happy some of them are sad and we're just like gonna it's the most random but feel free to tangent okay very on brand for us she says she husband is successful but i still don't know what i'm doing with my career do you have advice

um number one i think first let's have gratitude for the fact that one of you is doing well right it is oh yeah much better than if both of you were floundering right now yeah because that is the case a lot so have gratitude for that and also look at that as a benefit because it means for you to be able to figure out what you want to do you have the support and the safety net of him and not just needing to get something like survival job. Yeah. So I, I think that there's this whole myth around timing of like when everything's

supposed to be figured out. Elise Loonan actually did a newsletter today regarding this fake timeline we have for ourselves and these expectations for certain like decades of our lives. I actually think it's a gift to sort of be at a point where you don't know what to do as an adult because it, it, it can be so boring if you have found your thing at 25 and you're just continuing to chug along. Yeah. So just like start getting curious. Think about when you, I always talk about my

manifestation list. It's never for me. I mean, when Kelty forces me to make it like concrete things I do, but for myself, my therapist has always said, don't write down the concrete thing, write down the feeling you want to be feeling during this job. So in your career, write down a list of things that you want to feel every day, inspired, creative, productive, whatever those things are, um, a sense of community or be left alone, be able to work remote, like write down those types of things. And then you'll be in, in stay curious. And I do think that those things start to come to you if you ask the universe.

And I think one of the best things about our lady in community is there's been so many questions like this that people post about in the Facebook group. There was one the other day that was like, I'm in my late thirties. I am so freaking single. Like, please send me stories of meeting somebody later in life. So if you posted this, I guess, in our Facebook group, like you get so many stories of people that started their career late. Yeah.

Like it can happen to anybody. And like, to your point, I'm sure you're probably in your mid twenties, mid thirties or something like that. Like you're a full grown adult now. I'm sure your likes and dislikes and what like brings you joy has changed. So now you can kind of dive into something that really speaks to you rather than something you're stuck in, I guess. And then I would just say that my mantra is it's never enough. It's never enough. It's never enough. And then you die. Like I had this conversation with a girlfriend of mine who's like, I just, I'm not there in my career. I'm not there in my career as someone who is there in their career. I still don't feel like I'm there in my career.

yeah so it's like it's never enough even if you went and you were like as successful as your husband then the two of you are going to be like well how could we get more successful or how could we have the second house or what like and you also might not have any time to spend with each other like it might be it's like yeah that's why it's important to focus on the way you want to feel in your day-to-day versus what it is that you want to achieve yeah and also like don't feel pressure just because it's like boss babe yeah that you have to like have this super successful if you guys are financially secure then and you if it's not like external pressure then there's nothing wrong with not being a business owner but i do get like you go to parties and stuff

from people like and what do you do and you're like nothing like you know what i mean but but get crafty start a metsy store there's so many ways to like do something that like will fuel your creativity that isn't like having to get a full-time job okay becca any acting sneak peeks you can give us sneak peeks, like what's been up. I talk about rejection every day on this podcast. I know, but have you can't say on this one? I feel I've given a lot of sneak peeks lately into my, I admitted to not getting the Aaron Foster Netflix show recently. So that's about all I'm going to give. I'm so sorry. I don't have any other failures to share with you. If it was a good update you'd know because you would announce you guys i would i would go on instagram live at

this point to get the word out so there are no sneak peeks unfortunately there may be no peaks left to give no sneaky peekies okay but thanks for your curiosity yeah jack how do you handle nerves on tour i get so nervous giving presentations at work um drinking i need like a glass of champagne before we start. And then also I think, I mean, I, it, it's hard for me to tour. Like, it's not where I thrive. I don't like being up on a stage, but I do it. Cause it's like good for a brand and like whatever, but it's definitely not my, it's not my favorite thing to do in the world. Um, I kind of just leave it there. Like, I think I'm just like, okay, get through this hour and then you can leave it there. Don't overanalyze yourself. Don't overthink

things yeah and just try to get through it i mean public speaking is hard for people yes it's like it is terrifying i don't really know how to get through it other than get through it really it's just like suck it up i have to do another speech at a friend's wedding and i'm like oh damn it well that's where i really get nervous yeah i get the most nervous giving speeches at weddings yeah yeah no one's ever asked me to speak at their wedding never never no really well now i'm finally at the point in my life where all of my best friends are getting married so now i have to speak at every wedding yeah and i'm like i just wanted to chill and i'm like you know who we should get that girl with the podcast she talks real good and you're like yeah jacket what jacket

shows is like you can see her being she's like brave brave brave brave brave brave brave does the show and then melts down yeah like every show she's brave brave she holds it together all day brave brave brave brave brave drinking brave brave brave getting that doesn't like her outfit she does the show you would never know she's not having the time of her life because you're so good out there and then we get backstage and she just like will either cry or weep or go in a corner or like yeah she just it's like all the um so if you have to do your presentation at work and then go in the bathroom and have like a little sulk don't feel bad well it's like the introverted me where it's like it really takes everything out of yes and then you're just depleted yeah

I mean, it's just, it sucks. Whereas I'm like, people love me. I feel full. Yeah. You feel empty. Yes. Okay. Um, uh, how do you know when you're ready for a baby? I'm asking myself this question. I don't know when it gets to the point where you're getting old. Yeah. That's where I'm getting. No. Yeah. I mean, I actually had to give myself a con I have to have a conversation with myself about it's kind of now or never. And I had enough friends tell me that they wish they had done it sooner because I have friends who had their first baby at 40, which is a beautiful thing because you get to have this whole career, this whole life, this whole adventure before. But my friend who had her first kid at 40 was like, I, she was born and I realized that I stole like 10

extra years I could have had with this perfect person in my eyes. Like it's just, it's a catch 22, but that's, to be honest, the only reason Zach and I started wasn't because I necessarily was like, I can't wait to be responsible for human life and have my life turned upside down. But I just thought if this is something I know I want to do, I want to be able to do it as long as I can until I'm too old. That's where I'm at. Where are you at? I'm thinking the end of next year. I've given myself a timeline. So I'm like, okay, I want to get through these things. I want to, I have to go to Japan before I get pregnant. Like that's like my thing. I need to make this trip happen. And then I'm like, I think at the end of the next year, maybe after like our festival

that we're doing like yeah then i'm like okay maybe i'll yeah give it a go i'm not excited i mean i'm not it's it's so hard because i'm not i've never been the person that's like i can't wait to be a mom like i wish i could push it off another 10 years like i really do i feel like i have so much more of a life to live but at the same token it's like if i'm gonna do it i need to do it soon yeah and like get on board you don't need to but i mean i want to yeah yeah yeah the lady gang um speaking uh transitions in life especially career how you went through and kept faith this is so hard so like a lot of people i know right now are getting laid off like it's been i mean the entertainment business as a whole is in the dumpster but i think

tell me if i'm wrong lady gang like i think the rest of all the other sectors are also in the dumpster. Like we're in this recession. Um, so a lot of my friends have been laid off and it's, it's this very weird thing because you, you work every day and you're like, I'm a hard worker. I'm a good person. And then to be like transitioning into something else, it's like that first day of school all over again, which like I hated, like, I don't like meeting new people, learning all the names, like, and putting yourself out there. It's just really, really hard. I would say that the most important thing to do is to not be desperate. So I think in desperate time, listen, if you're desperate and you have to go see the opposite, if you have to go make the money, do the thing.

But like, I have a bunch of friends right now who just took jobs with half their salaries just because they needed to. Right. And then it's that, that sensation has trickled into their being. And they're like, Oh, I'm not worth that. Like I, that, that imposter syndrome of like, Oh, I deserved this job and this salary. They were like, I got found out. Everyone found out who I really am, which is a loser. And I deserve this. And I think that you make really bad decisions. So it's like, if you have to take that job, take that job, but don't fall into the, like, this is a family and this is where I'm going to stay. Take the job, get the healthcare, make the money, and then be in the next two weeks thinking about your out and finding that next

thing. I mean, we're in such a weird part of the world right now where like everything is tanking. So there's not even like a good place to pivot for anybody. There's no good industry to pivot to. So it's like a lot of people are in this like desperation mode. And I was going to say like, don't be afraid to like take the like Uber Eats job or take like a job to kind of like float you through to the next thing. Because it's like a lot of people, if you're so picky, you're never going to find a job because everything is crashing and burning right now. Yeah. So it's like, I don't you have like a little humility and allow yourself to just be able to like push yourself through and support yourself.

But don't get stuck there. Don't think because the question is like career transition. Sorry. It's like how to not lose faith when like, it's not going your way. And you're like, okay. Yeah.

It's not going like any, like that's what's so weird about it before. It's like, everything is just, you know, I just saw something really inspiring on Instagram and it was something about a woman who decided to go back to school. I don't remember if it was law school or med school, but in her forties and the way she did

it. Cause everybody in my age and older, I have a lot of friends who were dancers, right? And that career is so short lived and you're pretty much retired at 40, if not sooner. And I have all these friends who have this urge to do a new career part two, but they're like, but then I have to go to school and that's this many years and this much money. And then, and then how long am I actually going to be practicing, but this Instagram, I wish that I could pull it up, but it was like, so I took, you know, six years out of my life, but I still have 20 years to practice this new skill. So I'm really inspired by people that are going back to school. If you have the ability to do so going back to school and maybe getting a survival job, like the Uber eats or the door dash or the

whatever, but to like bet on yourself and also going back to school for something that you feel passionately about is like ensuring that the next chapter of your life is going to at least be fulfilling. Yeah. Did you graduate college yet? Yeah, I'm done. Oh yeah. She's college. Now we're two thirds. I know this is about me, but I do want to ask it. Kelty, how does it feel to be you? Mom of three, your life looks awesome. Oh my God. I'll have you guys answer. How does it, what is it like to be Kelty? that's something she has a beautiful life I I think it's like I would I don't think it's overrated not having kids you know what I mean I think that I don't feel like you're just doing

a highlight reel of it either when I see what you're able to do with your life travel around take trips with your husband take trips for work spend a day out by your pool all day long spend three days in your bed reading a book that you really want to read like you're seizing the day with being childless you're not sitting around sulking you're like really squeezing every bit of that juice from that lemon you know yeah not a lemon that's makes it sound like it's bad but you really you've taken life by the horns as a childless wonder and it's a great life yeah you're you're kind of like the stereotypical it's like you're a working lady professional you gotta still do the things that bring you joy you're getting in your wigs and getting dressed up and

being able to have you time and then going on these extravagant vacations, it's really what you want. When you think of a childless lady, she's doing exactly what I would be doing. Yeah. Yeah. The only thing I need to work on really is just like connecting more with my friends. Cause my, my days, um, life is amazing. I just, I do this thing where like, I need to have three jobs at all times. So I'm so busy now that it's like, I get up in the morning and I work out and then like i work on lady gang or my other stuff like emails email emails and then i go to work but we don't shoot the show till 5 30 yeah so it becomes this like 16 hour day every day and then it's like at night i don't feel like going out i don't feel like doing anything and then on weekends

we have stuff we're touring or i'm booked on other things so again i'm just like my issue is that like i want to go see a friend or have a hike with a friend but it's like fitting that in but what a problem you know a lovely problem i just want to hike with my you know like chris and i it's actually really exciting because we're going to the Galapagos, which I told you guys, but we started watching all the documentaries, the David Attenborough, you know, that guy, oh my God, his voice is so amazing. And we learned about there's only yellow and white flowers on the Galapagos because that's the color of flower that bees like, and they don't like any other colors. So it's like the Galapagos is this whole like survival of the fittest experiment,

like literally happening on earth. And so it's like the way things came over there and then have adapted to being in the middle of nowhere and whatever, they're like, we don't need pink flowers. Cause bees don't even like pink flowers without the human interaction, you know, it's like untouched. It is truly Darwinism. It's so fun. Anyway. Yeah. It's great to be me. Um, okay. I'd love to hear each of you and your journey to stardom. Just kidding. That'll be its own episode. Um, how do you know? Okay. We have so many lady gang brides, top three pieces of advice, wedding advice. Oh my God. Um, do an Evite. That's mine. Oh my God. The amount of time that I spent on that damn invitation. But that's cause it's you. I know. I see my advice.

My advice is so specific to me cause I'm a crazy person. It's know thyself. That's the advice. Know thyself. Um, uh, either don't have bridesmaids or don't, um, assume and expect your friends to do things and do work for free. Like this is your day. If you want things to go the way that you want them to do, do it yourself. Don't put any responsibility on anybody else. If they want to help you, then be gracious about it. But again, don't take advantage of people that you love just because it's your wedding. Yeah. I, I, this is the advice I give. I don't know if I've said this on the podcast before, but I wish that, well, I did know I just had a bridezilla husband if you don't enjoy hosts if you don't enjoy having a birthday party yeah if

you don't enjoy being the birthday girl you're not going to enjoy being the bride yes unless you do it in a very specific way so for myself I don't like to do nothing on my birthday but I want to do something that I can just like small intimate like maybe just so it's like for me I should have had a wedding with literally maybe eloping even, or just immediate family. And even that would have been overwhelming for me. Every Thanksgiving I spend with both sides of my family. I hate mixing groups, even mixing like our Zach and I's parents get along great. Our families get along great, but I still have anxiety when we bring them all together. Like, cause I want everybody to have a nice time and take care of everybody. So if you don't like hosting things or hosting

parties or hosting dinners or whatever, and you don't like being the center of attention on your birthday, then you're not going to enjoy being a bride. And that's exactly what happened to me too. Yeah. Because it was like, cause I don't like being the center. But you liked all the creative. You wanted to plan the party and wear the dresses and everything, but you didn't want any part of the being the starlet of the night. Yeah. Well, it's like, well, it's the attention, but it's like, I spent all of my energy worrying if everybody was having a good time. Yeah. And I'd like not like, cause it's number one, I had like a destination wedding. A lot of people spent a lot of money to be there. And I just felt so bad. I'm like, if somebody isn't having the best

time of their lives, then like I took on that guilt. And like, I had anxiety about that for months after my wedding. Such a good note though, because I also remember feeling that even in my tiny backyard wedding that no one had to pay to go to. And I remember looking around and I like, does everybody hate being here right now? And I like, it's my fault. Totally. I went up to the DJ and I was like, we need to play more dance music. And I was like, we're in the backyard. Like no one's going to, we don't need people right now. But I saw that my friends were just like kind of all lazing around the table and I'm like they're bored they're bored they're not having fun yeah and then I just got so crazy about it and then I also think it's like it's okay if

it isn't the best day of your life like my wedding wasn't the best day of my life I'm like it was fun that I got to do all these things and obviously marry like my partner yeah but it's like was that the no I was too stressed out making sure everybody was having a good time like that's yeah do you remember when you were doing your first look and you were like everyone was hanging out the window and it was like just the most amazing thing. And then your wedding planner came up and I was like, I need a hundred dollars cash to tip someone in the middle of your first look. Yeah. What a journey that was. That was, I didn't know that happened. And nobody had cash. No, it was literally Jared and I came around and like saw each other for the first time. And she

came was like, we need to pay the photographer, the photo booth guy now in cash. And I'm like, great. Thank you for ruining this moment. And that was like one of the only moments that I was like, I really cared about too. Cause it was like an intimate moment. Yeah. Yeah. Lovely. That was super weird that was something how do you know he's the one oh wow that's i don't think you do i don't either i i think it's i don't think that there's a moment like i don't think there's a moment you're like this is the guy no like well maybe maybe for some people you think so yeah i think that some people feel that oh but i don't think it's like a i don't know if you have to have that. Yeah. I had a zing in my brain on Chris and I's second date. We were at a place on

Highland and he was wearing a blue shirt that had yellow flowers, like a vintage shirt. And he was on the street and I was up on the curb and he was still so much taller than me. And he looked at me and he's like, I like you. And then I looked at him and I remember in my brain going, I'm going to marry this guy. Yeah. Really? Like I had that feeling second date. Then there was like six months of rigmarole yeah and then we fell into a life together and then it just kept the life kept going and I never really was like he's the one ever again but I just like I like I just really like doing life with him yeah like I just when we're doing nothing I like it when we're doing something I like it he's nice to me treats me well like I feel safe in that relationship I don't have

that gut feeling of like one of my friends just went through a breakup and he's dating and stuff And the, the things that he's saying about, well, I don't know, like, then he kind of went cold and then he didn't call me for two days. And like all of that, I'm so glad that's over my God. Like the guessing, the guessing of like, am I allowed? And he's like, am I allowed to text him? Or my friend has a wedding in two months and I thought he would be a great plus one. I was like, yeah, ask him to be your plus one.

He's like, is it too soon? I was like, I was like, if it's too soon, you're going to scare him off. And then he wasn't meant to be, but like all of that, I'm so glad is over. So hard. that's something that with jared i never had because it was like yeah he he decided he was like i'm gonna be this person and i will do anything it takes to like convince her to be with me basically yeah like if i didn't know him he i would be like you are gas lighting me because it was like paragraphs of paragraphs of proving his love no love bombing love or what did i say

oh i meant love bombing yeah like in the beginning when we saw each other for the first time after five years or whatever yeah it was the day that I left Warped Tour paragraphs paragraphs the way they make me feel when you're sitting on my lap and like it was crazy and if it was anybody else but him they would be like this person is nuts yeah they're a psycho but he was just like I'm gonna prove my love to you basically and he still does it to this day so I guess like the not guessing and just the stability that I have with him is just crazy yeah I love it okay feel free to ask us any questions. Send us a DM. We love giving life advice. I mean, we have no good advice to give you, but we'll give you the advice. We learned something. We'll give you

advice. We'll give you advice. Advice. Not good. We weren't here for a long time, but we were here for a good time. Thank you so much for listening. The Lady Gang is produced by Steve Delameter, Stacey Pera, Jared Monaco, and social support from Amy Ryerson. It really means the world to us when you show up in our community outside the podcast so sign up for our secret facebook group just search the lady gang under groups follow us on instagram and tiktok at the lady gang and the most important thing you can do is share this episode with a friend we would love that so much thanks for listening