LadyGang - LQ Quickie: Becca, I'm a mommy.

Episode Date: July 24, 2025

In this hilarious and heartwarming episode, Becca finally opens the diaper bag and lets it all out. From her no-filter screen time rants to the controversial moment she gasp threw away Ford��s preschool art, she’s sharing the raw, real, and ridiculous truths of modern motherhood. Whether you're a parent, a dog mom, or just someone who’s ever had to deal with a sticky situation (literally), Becca’s stories will have you laughing, cringing, and maybe even reconsidering that finger-painted “masterpiece” on your fridge. It’s the episode where Becca goes full mom — judgment, juice boxes, and just trying to survive.LadyWorld is sponsored by e.l.f. Cosmetics! Get your long-lasting, smudge, flake, clump resistant INCREDICURL Mascara at elfcosmetics.comSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

It's time for a quickie. Podcast one presents the Lady Gang, the Hollywood girl posse with Lady Gang Quickie. Here's Kelty Knight, Becca Tobin, and Jack Vanek. Let's make this quick. Hello, hello, hello. Welcome to Lady Gang Quickie. I am back here with Jack and Kelty. Quickie, quickie.

You guys, I got to tell you, life is scary. I just got a text from Coinbase that said, your withdrawal has come through. I know it's – and if you didn't make this withdrawal, call this number. But I don't even know what Coinbase is, so this is obviously spam. I just had a Coinbase spam also. Really? It said a person was requesting your – like because I have – I also did not know why I had Coinbase on my phone. I don't remember ever using it, but I guess I had an account at some point and it was

the same kind of thing where it was like two-factor authentic, authentic, what is it called? Authentification. Yeah. And they're like, we're trying to send it, but if this is not you, and I was too afraid, like, because now you're not supposed to do anything that a text receives. Don't call the number. No. Don't do the thing.

So then I just went to my app, my Coinbase app. And I don't know if that's right or not. So you do have Coinbase. I do. I don't think I have it. anyway scary but i do want to make a public service announcement while this starts jack got me hooked on and i'm not just saying this because they're sponsoring lady world the elf glow reviver melting lip balm in strawberry shortcake this is the best four dollars i've

ever spent can you put your janky lips up to the camera so i can see the color yeah hold on let me add a little more let me see it is oh i'm gonna go today to target on your lips it's a very nice pink very zoomed in it is so buttery it the taste there's no taste it lasts i mean i just keep putting it on i like it because it's like not like sticky sticky but it's got like a little bit it does i don't like when things feel too like glossy or too luby yeah it's like and i have the purple um tinted i love it the bomb i'll be going to target when we're done honestly we've been on calls with Elf and they're like, we want a gift. Like, so they're going to gift in the gifting suite. And then at Lady World, they also have this whole setup and they're going to like be

gifting all day to everybody. They're just like gifting all the time. And I'm like, can we have the glow reviver lip balm? And they're like, we have this halo, this thing, this thing. And I'm like, but we really need the, like, I keep bringing it up. I'm like, what about the lip oil? Anyway. I also had a good, used your lip combo when we did press in New York. That was wonderful too. This is the same one. Yeah. Oh, I did use it then. Oh, but I, but it was different because I used it with the liner or the, yeah. The oil. Anyway. The oil. Okay. Today we're here with Becca and this episode is called Becca the mom. So one of the things that we know about Lady Gang is you love to hear Becca talk about being a mom because she. It's riveting. Well, it is riveting

because she doesn't ever do it. She doesn't offer it up unless I force her. And so we are going to ask some hard-hitting questions because ford is an icon and ford only likes jack and so i feel like i can just go full barbara walters on ford and if he hears this later he'll be like when he's 15 and he listens to this he's gonna be like that's kelty like what a bitch she really wanted to talk about me and i didn't want to be talked about or touched or looked at by her he doesn't want to be perceived no no not at all um okay what is one thing that you swore you would never do as a mom that you literally do every single day now? Pretty much everything.

So I said I would never bring an iPad to a restaurant. That is the dumbest thing I've ever said because why would I ever want to ruin my dinner by taking care of a child? Wait, but what about like a crayon or something that we did in the olden days? Jack, it is 2025. If you think a pack of four janky, cheap-ass crayons

are going to keep this kid occupied in a maze you're out of your mind he needs he needs paw patrol he needs bubble guppies he even needs batman he is listen i do have a philosophy with with children and restaurants like i prefer to not bring my child to restaurants ever but sometimes if i don't have any child care and i just want to drink a crisp martini at you know a local restaurant and have a piece of pizza i will i will sacrifice my parenting you know whatever i will give him the ipad because i'm not gonna let him come and break into my friday night fun yeah if it's a babysitter the ipad yeah do you feel like people are judging you or people are happy i think people who don't have kids are

judging me the way that i used to judge people with kids and then i think people with kids only smug ass bitches with kids are judging me and honestly i i that's a whole community of mothers that i didn't even know existed until i was a mother smug ass bitches i think as long no smug ass beaches i think as moms as somebody that doesn't have a kid as long as your kid is being well behaved yeah and if it's not being well behaved you're trying to like alleviate the situation like bringing them outside calming them down there's nothing that pisses me off more than when parents bring their kids to like a nice restaurant it's not turkey cheese and their kids are having a tantrum being super loud running around screaming and then the parents aren't

doing anything about it like that's what grinds my gears but it's like if you're keeping your kid behaved enough or trying to keep them in line then it's like you're just doing your best but i have a note yes please i appreciate a tablet at a restaurant and i don't care i don't care that my you know i pick up on everything in a room looks over and it's ruining the vibe of this restaurant because i'm seeing a screen like you know i don't even want chris to look at his phone in bed like i hate a screen in my calm fun night but we have to have headphones guys yeah as i'm say volume down because we have we have an issue we have an epidemic of children on screens volume up yeah yeah well we're either very very very low volume we're like i can't even hear it right or

we're doing his headphones the headphones do you feel like a leap to like really bad parenting like this is interesting so is that why we don't bring a headphone because i think that feels like we're putting you in a no i do think as a parent as a parent as a parent okay i think that it just is such a leap to then go it's you're already going against your integrity by bringing the tablet and then like leaping to like a bluetooth headphone that you have charged and had prepared for this child it just feels like you know it's like when people have affairs. It's so much worse when it's premeditated. It's so much better if you're just like, Oh, we got drunk and we made out at a bar. Like that iPad moment is like, okay, so it's like a little

loosey goosey. We didn't premeditate this. We're just trying to keep them happy. Don't judge us. It's like, so if you have that phone, it's just more judgment and more guilt, but I want, do you, I'm going to make a public service announcement. I forgive you smug ass moms and you regular moms. I forgive you. I'm not judging you. I want you to put the child in the full experience capsule. I want the full capsule. Yeah. I wrap it up in a full, I want that kid hunched over like a little shrimp at that table with a weighted blanket. I want wrap him up, give him all the pasta with nothing on it. Give him all the sodas he wants, put those headphones on and put that blue light in his face because i don't want to hear bubble guppies we don't like

be the furthest thing away from an actual living if you're gonna go for it i want you all in okay yeah no you've got four shitty crayons well ford's gonna be his own gaming chair he's gonna be front row in a cove at lady world having his full ipad experience streaming from twitch i can't wait I can't wait. Okay. Um, what do you secretly wish you could throw away without Ford noticing? Oh, everything. These kids collect the weirdest shit you've ever seen. A rock, a Barbie shoe, a leaf, a flower. I had to keep track of a flower, a flower he picked for five days in the Bahamas. okay you know why because he said he he picked it for me so you know I can't throw that away but then I don't know how to bring that home and have it not wilt so it stayed in the Bahamas and

I the guilt that I felt when I threw that in the trash can was terrible I throw away all art that he makes unless we've talked about this I think unless his pictures on it or like a handprint so that's the that's the like rules it has to fall under and I throw everything else away and there have been so many times he's gone to the trash can to throw something away and i'll be like mama why is it why is this in the trash oh my god and every time i'm like oh my gosh it must have slipped off the counter not the art has he made you like no and jack i bet i want to know may's reaction i need may oh vanik to listen to this podcast they have it i just went through some of it. And I was like, I might hang this on my walls right now. You're like, I might be

wearing this macaroni necklace at lady world. This is iconic. Oh my God. Listen, I have nothing and I'm this. So just know what you're doing. You should feel a cautionary tale. A cautionary tale. Oh, you mean your mom kept nothing? Nothing. I don't even have like, there's no photos of me. I don't have a single photo of me in a tutu yeah I took classical ballet for 20 years we didn't think we would want one picture of her on point after her toenails fell off no we have no photos of anything and I'm dead inside so I think you should keep the art because if nobody if your parents can't even see you as extraordinary enough to keep your art and you and take lots of pictures of you I guess when you go out into the

world you're like still searching for someone to think you're extraordinary no it's the mix of they didn't keep anything. There's no photos. And then my mom never told me I was ugly. So it was like the hype, the delusion of her being like, you're the best and the prettiest. I remember once she told me and I was in high school, she's like, we went out to lunch somewhere and she goes, I love going to lunch with you because you're so beautiful that everyone stares at you. And that stayed with me for like, till now, you know what I mean? And I'm like, I am so beautiful and delusional, but not beautiful enough to be photographed. You know what I mean? Like it was. Wow. It reminds me of when I had braids, my braids done in the Bahamas in middle school

when my dad told me that I looked like Bo Derek. So did my, so we literally had this conversation at the beginning of Lady Gang. Oh my God. That's crazy. Well, for those of you who didn't hear it and you're new here, Bo Derek had a movie called 10 and it was about like the perfect 10 woman.

And then in it, I guess she's like on a beach, like jumping around, frolicking on a beach. And she has like full like braided hair. And I went, would go to the Bahamas every year and I would get this done. and my dad would tell me that I looked like Bo Derek.

And if you saw fucking pictures of my awkward ass at 12 years old with porcelain braces and my big ass forehead and braids that started like halfway, like it was just devastating. And that's why I'm overly confident as well. Yeah, it all traces back to something. It's all coming back.

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okay if your child could talk like a brutally honest adult which i think ford already can what do you think that ford would roast you for the hardest he wants me to get off of him he wants me to back off get out of his bubble anytime like we're in a public place i'll go to put my hand on his shoulder or like ask to hold his hand, he will literally shake it off and be like, I've got it. I've got it. I'm fine. I'm like, okay, well, so you're, he's an adult now. So he wants me to back the off. Oh my God. It's so cute. So you, what is the most hilariously inappropriate toy or object that Ford has been obsessed with? Oh God. Lately it's been, um, ball markers. Like I guess when people golf,

they have to use these little like they're just little circles little flat circles they look like coins like quarters yeah and they place them I guess where their ball lands so that the ball is out of the way for the next golfer and he's obsessed and he has like a bag of 32 million ball markers because Zach finds them he goes to different golf courses he gets some things he gets and it's like his new collecting thing and it is i'm glad it's small that's all i have to say it's yeah it's like little pogs but the worst part is they remember every single one they have they have an inventory in their head and so if one goes missing it is nuclear oh no nuclear where is the one that's pink with the brush on it that brushes the cleans the ball i'm like i don't know and it's

Like, the day does not go on until the pink ball marker is found. Oh, he's a collector. Collector's hoarder. I wish my brain was so empty that I could have an inventory. That's what it is. You know what I mean? It's like there's so much gray matter in there, and it's growing every day in kids. And they're just like, they're not worrying about their IRS bill.

They're not worrying about if there's gas in the car. They don't have to worry about if there's clean underwear. He's just like, what is in this brain? ball markers he wants to sleep with it all too his treasures in the bed he's obsessed with a snow globe that he just got with a pink dolphin inside of it a snow globe glass snow globe i allowed him to carry with his little tiny hands from the gift shop in the bahamas through the atlanta airport on the train the plane train wait they let you put it on the oh that's a good oh we were already through security when when you got it inside the gift shop okay because one time i got

a Rockettes snow globe and they wouldn't let me bring it through TSA and I had to leave it there. And I was so sad. I didn't think about that. Yeah. So he did that with this snow globe. It's here and he sleeps with it next to the bed. Cause that's one of the things he's not allowed to sleep within the bed with him, but he does ask. Okay. What is the grossest thing you've ever had to clean up that did not come from a trash can or a pet? So Zach and I got all new gorgeous bedding, right? Like just great. It had been a, it had been a while. We'd like really worn out the sheets, the duvet. It's an adult pleasure. It is such an adult pleasure. It is such an adult pleasure. So I do it all. I wash it first. I put it on the bed. I make sure I take it out of the dryer

soon enough because I don't want it to be all wrinkled. And so I'm like, you know, I'm just so, I'm just so excited and I get it all made. It's so beautiful. It's so crisp and new. And I can't to get in bed that night and ford is a very he's a he's an always nude like if he's at home he will find any reason to take off at least the lower half which is so weird so it's just wait he'll wear a shirt he'll wear like a shirt and then like like penis out does he pee everywhere no he's potty trained so like he'll just excuse himself to go to the bathroom or he'll do it in the yard if he's running around the yard you know uh oh my god from the waist down so he was you know he runs around he plays he's like he's like having a chimp live in my house with me so I go to get in

bed that night and I'm like god damn it Barbara left a Hershey kiss from her butthole like one of those like stamped her little poopy butthole onto my brand new duvet and then I'm like I go and I check her butthole and I'm like it's clean as a whistle and then I'm like no no no no this can't be and i had a flashback of ford jumping on my bed earlier that day oh no that little doo-doo stamp came from my son's butt he had a little dingleberry yeah wait how did the cheeks get open he's butt naked he's jumping around he's wild like he's just he just cuddled up maybe he thought it was a heart he can just sit and leave it if you're naked you can pretty much stamp something with your butthole if you want so what did you do I washed the whole thing again I

doused that thing it was disgusting I spot I had to spot clean at first because I'm like I don't want poo in my washing machine are you someone that like poop does not gross you out anymore because parents have told me like other children's poop like I would never change someone else's diaper but my own kid's diaper I'm like fine with it I mean I'm I still really hate poop like I really will still dry heave if he even now that he's potty trained if i'm in the bathroom with him and he goes and he poops i really don't enjoy that experience yeah i don't like smelling anybody else's poop i mean i guess i can tolerate it because i changed a diaper for so long but yeah i will certainly jack are you okay i was just yawning she's dry heaving um i still dry heave

if it's like enough of a disgusting thing i'll still dry heave but poop is just so gross to me Urine, he could pee in my eye. I'm fine. Well, it's not sanitary. Sterile. Yeah. No, it is. Do you remember when I pooped my pants in Ohio?

I sure do. I will never forget that. I think about it all the time. It'll be a deathbed memory for me. The box. Here lies Kelty. And you're just like, Kelty was so many things, but she would really love me to tell this story right now. about shedding her pants in Akron, Ohio after eating a Jimmy John's. Oh, that was so disgusting.

What a time. No one would help me. Well, when I watched, when I watched the poop cruise documentary and they were like pooping in bags, I was like, wish I would've had a red bag in a box. When you have to go, you have to go. Um, yeah, Jack, I can't wait till you have a kid. You're definitely going to save all of the art. Yeah. I'm not that grossed out by like poop. I think I'd be fine. I, you know, I'm more grossed out literally by dirty dishes than I am by poop. So my, my, we'll see when you're on the plane, when you're on the plane and you're cute outfit and you're traveling and your baby's diaper goes wet, but it goes up their back. She won't be in a cute outfit.

Let me just go back and let you know that that won't be happening. I don't even wear cute outfits on the plane now. I don't know why I said on the plane. I said out to out for your photo shoot. What photo shoot? i don't know you're wearing a crop top and the baby's back bar back fart it's a blowout a blowout goes up and is now on your white outfit you're gonna be grossed out yeah probably okay on that note we weren't here for a long time we were here for a good time baby time social support from

collie colera editing from jared monaco producing from steve delameter and iconic hosting creating and being the gang gang of all gangs by Becca Tobin, Jack Vanek, and Kelty Knight. Kelty Knight support by Derek Haley. Hey, Ontario, come on down to BetMGM Casino and see what our newest exclusive, the Price is Right Fortune Pick, has to offer. Don't miss out.

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19 plus to wager, Ontario only. Please play responsibly. If you have questions or concerns about your gambling or someone close to you, please contact ConnexOntario at 1-866-531-2600 to speak to an advisor free of charge. BetMGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with iGaming Ontario.