LadyGang - LQ QUICKIE: Jealousy, Jealousy

Episode Date: January 16, 2025

In the words of Olivia Rodrigo "Their win is not my loss, I know it's true, But I can't help getting caught up in it all". On today's episode the ladies chat about feeling less than, how they deal with the green monster, and Becca gives us an update on baby #2.  We have deals for you! Prolon: Feel good in the new year! Get 15% off your 5-day fasting challenge at ProlonLife.com/lady Peloton: Stay motivated! Find your push at OnePeloton.com See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

It's time for a quickie. Podcast one presents the Lady Gang, the Hollywood girl posse with Lady Gang Quickie. Here's Kelty Knight, Becca Tobin, and Jack Vanek. Let's make this quick. Hello, hello, hello. Welcome to Lady Gang Quickie. I'm Becca here with Jack and Kelty.

Hello. Deep talks with the Lady Gang. I did want to say your nails look gorgeous. Thank you. Is it a new color? Yeah, it's one of my favorite manicures. she has like a jack has a really long nails it's an it's the same color but my secret weapon is this phone case i have like a dangly phone case with a ball chain on it it's stopping me from

picking my nails oh because this is like your little stress i'm like fidgeting with it anal beads and that's it's like anal beads and you move them around but like i keep it on my lap and i just like fiddle with it instead of picking my nails because i'm a huge cuticle picker you need those little like um you know the little they're like plastic what and you they're little poppers they have no kids no yeah this is this is more chic yeah more chic okay cool yeah but thank you look really good they're rounder they're rounder they're a little shorter yeah and they're giving like a pretty creamy color thank you that's the kind of nail i would like to have but my nails just break off even when they have the russian manicure on them really really yeah i have to

keep them well speaking of nails there's a lady gang listener a couple listeners that are female founders of this really cool nail sticker gel oh wait did you do it this is what i'm wearing oh it's pretty it's a freaking sticker it is and then you cure it in the light oh so do you have your own blue light they send it comes with your kit oh cute and i so they sent it let me find the name just because i hate shouting people out and then you know not whatever i'll find it right now didn't peel out though no i'm telling you my i did it i've done it twice this is my second time my first time it lasted two weeks straight but i feel like everything new always lasts two weeks and then but you you was it but if you can do it yourself then you're not paying to go get a

manicure that's your real nail right this is my real nail wow pretty it's manny by livy l-i-v-i cute cute and they messaged me and they sent me stuff and they they said please let me know if we can if jack and kelty want to get it too i'll try and i was like i know kelty will try it i was like but jack's i was like jack's done the same thing with her nails for over a decade and there's no world i don't want you to waste your product no don't waste it i can't change i finally found out what works i like the color because you know if i love the color they have a lot of really good colors i just ordered like a really really dark brown but what i've realized about it's know thyself yeah shadow work i'm not a maintenance girl yeah we've talked about

this a little bit like and i hate going anywhere to get anything done and i was like this before covid so i really did embrace the pandemic no we want to drop our bodies off and pick them up at the shop nails are the worst nails are the worst and i love the girl that did my russian manicure in austin i'll go back to her at some point when i need it but like if i can do this in my house on my own time 20 minutes boom it's it's amazing that's so nice yeah it's great everyone check it out cute love it okay today's shadow work question is what makes me feel the most jealous oh what's yours you go first lately it's been seeing really happy pregnant people who are having a really easy time being pregnant and and like glowing whoa really

because i think i've only known women who have been pretty miserable pregnant yeah i think that's the norm. Truly. Yeah. Are these people you're seeing on Instagram? No. So my best friend just had a baby and she, not that I'm never, it's not jealous. It's like, I'm seeing something that I really like, wish I could have, that I think I wish I could have experienced. And she just had like a beautiful, peaceful, I mean, granted there's always like moments, but like, those are the people that I'm like, Oh wow. That's like something I will kind of like you Kelty after your hysterectomy where you're like oh i'm gonna die having never experienced this thing yeah that like is part of being human yeah yeah it's like you see like um pookie and jet just had their baby

or whatever weeks ago and like and but he's like i held the leg and i watched pookie like birth like the baby come out i didn't know it'd be like that like i do think even though a lot of times couples hate each other after that because then it gets like really hard and they're in the weeds you know but like there is something kind of animalistic and special about that situation yeah like yeah you're not you're never gonna like have that experience yeah and ford sees pregnant people now and i'm like shit he it's only a matter of time before he asks me yeah if he was in my belly whoa i never thought of that they have books for sir for children who were born via surrogacy that i need to start buying but i'm not gonna buy it until he starts asking yeah

but like I can tell like with my friend Erica he was facetiming I was with her in New York and he was facetiming me and I was like look it's Erica and she's like there's a baby in my belly and he's like get it out and he's like get the baby out and we have to wait and then Erica had the baby and it's like here's the baby and that was in her tummy and I could see like the wheels turning so I was like oh I'm gonna have to have this conversation yeah which is yeah it's tough and like there's there's like what if he wants to meet the person that well it's almost like it's not like an adoption kind of thing at all because it's not but it's like there's like no shared dna have a feeling of that as like a kid like hearing that yeah well what's interesting is this too much

of a tangent i know i love it what's interesting and also challenging is that now so like we're in the process of like trying to find another surrogate wait another one i thought you weren't We can't use our surrogate that carried Ford because the termination laws in Texas are non-existent. You can't terminate a pregnancy, even if the pregnant woman is at risk. So like you're hearing all these stories about women who are dying because they've had, they've gone septic after like miscarrying, but because there's still, or anyways, this is like a whole nother part of an, an episode we'll probably never do, but pretty much in our

contract before roe v wade was overturned in our contract it said she'd be willing to terminate if she were at risk or if the baby if something were really really really wrong with the baby or it did not have a chance of survival like after yeah um and you can't do that anymore so we have to go outside of texas to find a surrogate yeah thank you texas um so we're getting sent it's very early stages we're still working with the same amazing agency elevate i've actually gotten so many DMs lately about surrogacy agencies. It's Elevate, just for anybody who wants to know. They have been presenting surrogates. And what's so tricky is that I think it's so beautiful that now there's a lot of surrogates who are online sharing their whole experience. And it's like

doing a beautiful job of destigmatizing the whole thing. And I love it. And I have no, there's no judgment around it, but we're trying to find a surrogate who is going to be more private because I'm, I'm like, I don't ever want my son to, before I tell him or before I'm ready for there to be a picture with all of us there, which is like so shitty. Cause it's like, I want to shout it from the rooftops, but that's something that I have to control. Like, I don't want my son going on the internet and seeing like some other woman that he's never met, like carrying him or talking about carrying him yeah so it's like anyways this like whole totally goes into the whole thing of just like we're gonna have to have that conversation and it's probably why my jealousy

is acting up because i'm like i'm never gonna be able to look at my son and be like you were in here yeah like he sees boobs now and he's like what the f is that he's never breastfed he's literally like he looks at my body differently than like a baby who from the moment they came out was like attached to a nipple. Yeah. He's like, what is that? Interesting. I've never thought about that. I'm like, he's either going to be like a boob guy. Cause he's going to be like, I've never, they're so exotic. I don't even know what this is. Or he's going to be like anti-boob. I don't know. I have a question for you. Well, actually it's an evil genius idea. I just thought the best idea while you're telling this story. Yeah. I think your next endeavor should be

children's books and it should be like, not Brene Brown, like we can do hard things, but you should figure out your brand because you have been through so much in your life as far as like loss, overcoming adversity. Um, and you should do like a member when we were kids, there was like the faces, it was like, Mr. Jealous, Mr. Whatever. And that was like, you know, the kind of the inside out of it all, like the feelings, but like you should do weird hard life stuff explained in a children's book. And you could do like 10 of them and it could be a series and it's like beautifully illustrated. It's like, you're reading the story and it's about like, where do people like, where do people go when they die? Or like,

you know, cause we're sort of sold the story of like, you get old and die. And like, that's not what's happened. That's not how you've experienced death and like grief or being sad or like, you know for someone that like you could do for like someone a kid that like loses a parent or like doesn't like you know i don't know that would be so good that's a really good idea i feel like some people there's books exist but if there was like a collection collection like a big feelings collection or something yeah i'm just not like a child psychologist i think i'd have to like have somebody help me like a partner well i have a friend that's writing a children's book and it's all about big feelings like that well anybody can do anything well do you guys remember um going to

the children's hospital in la and they read us the books that they read to the kids whose siblings are passing yeah and they read us like two of the books and we were sobbing and i'll never forget it's like one of the books i read i buy for anybody like i bought it for my niece and nephew after their grandfather on the other side passed away it's called ada always ada and it's about two polar bears that were best friends and then like she dies but then it's like a whole thing of how she's kind of always there but anyways that's like anybody looking for one of those books it's like amazing but it's like it's so hard to navigate kid things like this because you're gonna f**k them up forever I remember every line my parents ever told me even when they were

trying to protect me but then you get older you have the aha moment where you're like wait a second I was told this thing and now I'm being told this thing so I'm being really cautious to make sure the moment Ford asks about it is that I tell him the truth yeah because there's no you can't start yeah you have to tell so I'm like I have to have a stock answer I guess I should consult some sort of child psychologist on this it's coming soon don't take it from us the lady gang okay what is what makes you feel most jealous Jacqueline I mean mine is so stupid compared to that that's really beautiful no it was really beautiful um I it's there's something about me that like can't get over the highlight reel of people like no matter what if i see

anything online or i see friends doing things or whatever it's like i still get like tinges of jealousy even though i know it's not true like normal this is the stupidest example but the brand of chicken fry and like zach bryan thing like when they were dating i'm like imagine if that was me like not dating him but like what a life you know like what a life traveling around rich as like, yeah, just, it's a life that would, that is, it would be attainable to my lifestyle, but like times a million, I get that. And there was such, there's parts of me where I was just like, so jealous of that, even though it's like, you know, that everybody has their own issues and you know, that there's things going on behind closed doors with everybody's lives, but like,

I know better, but then I can't help myself from having like those feelings of jealousy. I had a very interesting conversation with someone about this exact thing. And they said something to me that really stuck she said just remember that in order to get the thing that that girl has you have to trade your whole life right so all the good things like you know and you have to trade in jared for zach ryan well i know and that's but it's not just that it's like it's all of it everything like you don't get to have may as your mom yeah like so it was funny because i was talking to a girlfriend of mine and she was like, uh, she sent me a thing that someone in New York had done for a brand. And she was like, I hope one day I get to do something cool like

this. And I said to her, I was like, that's totally cool. Like I, you know, I'm, I was nice at first. And then I said, but by the way, just remember sometimes when I get these feelings, like you have to trade the whole life. And so the person that was doing this is also a Peloton instructor. I was like, so you live in New York city in a closet, you're not married. You don't have your kid, you get up at four 45 every morning to go teach cycling so that you can be an influencer in your other life and like do this brand deal. Like, right. That was physically too hard for me. But she was like, her answer was like, there's no way I'm getting up at five o'clock in the morning. And I was like, and I actually use this a lot because you know, for a

while I had a lot of friends and I know a lot of hosts, right? Like a lot of people wanted to do what I want. And when I got the big job or I was getting the promotion, I felt really guilty. I I mean, I'm, I'm always like peacocking here and being like, Oh my God, I'm the best. But like, I felt weird about it, especially when my other friends were trying to do the same thing. Yeah. And I was like, but you have to think like you can have my career, but then you have to change lives with me.

And my life right now is I get up at four 45 in the morning. I work from 5am until 5pm, you know, like, yeah, you can have my life. And you're too tired to do anything fun. Can't do anything. Like yesterday, you know, we started working. I was up at seven 30. we started working we went off at two o'clock and then i wasn't done till seven you know what i mean i went and hosted a whole other show so it's like you can have the things that i have like you can

have my highlight reel but like at what cost yeah do you know what i mean and so it's it's a good reminder but like but it's like i know the jealousy i know that and like what i that example is so funny to me too with the zach bryan thing because i'm like i love my relationship and i love my life with jared but you want like jared but like you're like i want like if you why can't you guys have the fancy musician life yeah i mean you guys have a fancy life right but he's so talented like you could be on your bus like yeah that jealousy is crazy of like anybody that like all these bands that make it that are like a quarter of talent of right that's where a lot of jealousy lives for him yeah yeah but um what makes me feel the most jealous

god i don't have it anymore no jealousy no i know exactly what it is it's when people i mean i have so many but i'm going to use this example i'm really jealous right now when people have really epic support systems for their careers and it feels like um things are handed to them because they're like having a hot moment like whether it's an actor or another podcast or whatever. It's like, Oh, like we're going to help you because you're popular. And like, we're going to do it all for you. And I know that those people are working behind the scenes probably intensely, but I feel like because we do so much, like people don't realize that we're still just like boots to the ground. It's the three of us with like very, very, very minimal help. We're very

DIY, very DIY still. And it's like, God, like what would it be like if that manager or that agent like swept in and was just like, I'm gonna, I'm gonna lead this horse to the water, you know? And we didn't have to be so, because the thing that I enjoy the most about Lady Gang is exactly what we're doing now, sitting here, talking to you, meeting the girls on the road, like the parts of Lady Gang that we get to have that connection. Like it's like nothing else on the planet. Like for me, like I feel it so deeply in my soul, but like the filing our business taxes and the, like the, like scheduling of the con, like it just, I just feel like when I look around and I, and I think it hurts me especially because Chris does it for other people. So I watch my

husband on the phone, like every day, like running other people's lives and being like, Oh, you wanted this person, but what about this person? But like, I feel like if we want something to happen we have to pick up the phone call the brand call the person and be like hey I'm gonna do my song and dance and sell you on us you know and it's like it just gets exhausting I'm like at what point does the hard work like just get easier and I just think for me it's probably never gonna get easier it's just always gonna be that hustle and I know I kind of do it to myself too which drives me crazy and it's like if I just backed off then someone else would step in and do it but they wouldn't do it as good as you but the people that have stepped in at times like they've

been so disappointing that i'm like well i'm not gonna pay this person 15 to do nothing like that's all that's my rant sorry i know that's very unrelatable because no one else's home and it's like my agent isn't working hard enough but it's just like man like i pitched like four shows last year and i can't even get someone to like follow up about it and be like hey this is a really good idea like yeah but if it was if i was someone else with a little more clout that could get like a hollywood reporter article then people would be like oh i rep fancy person and like you should do this thing like i just feel like i'm always so scrappy and i'm like i'm 42 years old like at what point do i have i i think the people that continue to work are the people

that have that in them because it's if you have 15 minutes of fame and you have everybody clamoring to do all this work for you the minute you stop being relevant those people stop working for you and then you don't have any sort of support system so it's like chris is a wonderful person but if one of his artists like stops being buzzy and cool and whatever he's not gonna like continue exhausting like exhausting all options like he couldn't it doesn't it's not efficient it's not like then those people get left by the wayside and then their careers are over forever because they don't know how to be self-efficient right no i don't even know enough about their own brand to be able to take it yeah nobody could have learned this brand i mean the closest thing we

had was alex yeah who was a salaried employee whose day today was learning the brand and being the mouthpiece for the brand and logistical person and i mean but you still wouldn't put someone like she's amazing but you wouldn't i wouldn't be like hey call marshalls and right she doesn't have right her job description is not hustler yeah it's just but then they're also like people that have the people to make those calls for them then they never have a personal experience with who they're working with either but like didn't you feel like if someone had come in and you probably maybe regret this like if someone had come in when you were doing the jack bannock brand in a big way and was just like i'm gonna turn this into like you you got a shark from

shark tank i did have people like that and i did have people working for me that said that they were going to do that and they didn't know i know the problem is is there are so few people who have that ability to actually do it and also people with good intentions like i ended up getting so fucked over any time that i would bring somebody else into my world with my jack vanek brand that was from the outside that i trusted i got over and i did it i did it with the fertility brand like i actually was like i'm gonna do this the opposite of how we did lady gang i'm not gonna try to do everything on my own i'm gonna just spend some money to have people who do this for a living and i got raked over the fucking coals financially that well at the end it's like you

don't know if our girls know about this. I was starting a fertility brand. Um, it was very early stages, but there was this idea and there were like consultants hired cause I was pointed in all the right directions. Um, but the problem is, is that people just tell you they're going to be able to do everything, all these things for you. And the reality of it is, is that they're just most of the time they're just, I kind of got like the modern day or the female founders version of like pyramid schemed where they're like, if you buy in and you spend this much money on these things, you're set. It's just an initial investment of X and then you're set. But then you realize that that's actually not at all the reality. And people just want to make as much money off of you

as possible in the start of something. And then you're kind of like not left in the dust, but you're just sitting there feeling stupid. Well, and then, well, and then it's like, oh, well then if you just spend this much more money, then you can get to the next level. And then I did the same exact thing with my brand. Yeah. And so that's what happens when you have other people in the beginning as like hustling with you. And also if people are working with money, that's not theirs, they're way more risky with it. And they aren't as precious with it as we are like with our own. true it's super annoying because like we go on tour and i'm like i'm gonna cricket the signs and i'm gonna buy them on facebook marketplace and we're gonna like hustle and do everything

ourselves but like then it's beneficial and i do feel like it's like more of a brand and i think it's more rewarding like but i'm gonna give you the talk that i give to like a lot of women in my life there's a in between i know and you're doing things and putting things on your to-do list that for a couple hundred dollars yes well you don't need to be cricketing yourself no i'm never cricking again i'm actually gonna sell my cricket i feel like i'm done once i make a t-shirt that for you that says what star baby i want one um i thought about it last no i think that this has gotten off into such a weird tangent but i think that this is actually relevant for people in their life. Cause I get it. You're trying to, it's hard to live in the gray. Yes. It's really hard. It's

the same thing that everyone, I, most people struggle with where it's like moderation is so hard for us. So I know we don't want to go spend $20,000 to hire an outside company to make us this beautiful live show. But then there's also something outside of you cricketing and crafting everything on your own and traveling with all of these things. There's a world that's in the middle and we've never achieved it. I wasn't able to achieve it with the fertility brand and we haven't achieved it here. It's been two sides of the spectrum. It's hard to have half delegate things. Yeah. We're kind of half delegating with lady world. Yes. That'll be our first. So please buy your tickets at lady world.co and come see us. But like, they're going to be

making all the posters. So I won't be cricketing that. No, you won't. Okay. Anyway, well, this entire episode was just about jealousy and I hope you feel really jealous of us because we have the best podcast on the planet ah highlight reel we weren't here for a long time we are here for a good time bye lady gang is produced by podcast one with podcasting production assistance from steve delameter derrick haley editing by jared monaco and social support from collie and mastermind evil genius from kelty knight