LadyGang - New York Times Worst Sellers

Episode Date: October 4, 2022

The ladies are recounting the tour as they prepare for their last show in Houston. From sharing their core memories like going to Hooters with Kaitlyn Bristowe, hanging out on the bus, 36 hours of press and if they made the New York Times list.  Check out our amazing sponsors!!! BetterHelp: Visit BetterHelp.com/ladygang today to get 10% off your first month! Daily Harvest: Go to DailyHarvest.com/lady to get up to $40 off your first box! Ritual: Get 10% off during your first 3 months at Ritual.com/ladygang See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

What's that smell? Ah yes, the crisp smell of fall. Fall means sweater weather. And speaking of sweater weather, I'm going to Marshall's today to grab a new cardigan and maybe check out their selection of cashmere. You know, new items arrive all the time, so they're always a fresh selection of the most wanted pieces for fall. Marshall's buyers are hustling every day to get the deal so we get the good stuff, and this fall is no different. On everything, leather and suede designer handbags on trend denim high quality boots accessories you name it so go get that sweater and all the other must-haves you'll love for fall marshall's is a one-stop shop for all the good stuff for less it's decided then i'm going to my marshall's for a whole new

fit and more and you should too score some amazing deals in store or at marshall's.com well what is this welcome to the lady gang that's amazing say that again the lady gang things are about to change around here each week we catch up with hollywood's hottest girl posse kelty knight becca tobin and jack vanik hello hello hello welcome to lady gang i'm becca tobin here with jack vanik and kelty night yes we are in a hotel room in houston texas i don't know where the we are uh this is the last day of our tour yeah we have made well over this part of the tour until we do the West coast dates. So we are sitting here, we're doing our last show tonight and yeehaw baby. We know what? It's really sweet. We got a beautiful message. I'm almost

wanting to cry cause like I'm sad it's over, but like I'm so tired that I'm ready to go home. Um, I feel like you did yesterday where it's like, I'm like bittersweet. Um, so we got a nice message on Instagram yesterday. I'm sorry that I don't remember who said it, but she said, um, i loved the quickie last week about their sexual wellness and and they were like these girls oh i think it was in the facebook group these girls are like doing it all they're on tour and they're meeting us and like these freebies and plus like still putting out great episodes of the podcast and like thank you for seeing us we're doing our very best but um that was just so nice and and um i just think it's it's been such a cool run and i cannot like i will sleep for a week but anyway

I'm ready I can't believe that we are finished you guys I didn't think this day would come I didn't either there was a point in the middle of tour that I'm like it's never ending I was like there's no escape we're stuck in it you know how sometimes you're in the matrix of time yeah so I feel like I have done other things in my life for three weeks and it's like it's three weeks like almost the day's prepping for tour I was like I'm leaving in three weeks and I think it's going so Everything went so fast and rock at rehearsals. When you rehearse for four weeks straight, six days a week, it seems like you're working for nine months.

This tour feels like we've been on tour for a year. Yeah. Like, so I've changed. I'm new. Like I have a new rebirth. I have a rebirth. I, I have, don't know if I'm married to my husband anymore. Like it's so crazy.

Yeah. It's been really crazy. You're like stuck in this alternate reality. we talked about it the first day or the second day of tour when you're on if anybody has been on tour you would understand this but most people haven't but like when you're on tour it's like real life doesn't exist your real problems don't exist your other emails don't exist you're just trying to survive and get through the day and do the thing you're supposed to do for an hour that night yeah and everything else is like secondary it's so weird wild anyway i think our best show

was last night oh me too in dallas it was amazing it was great i just think the dallas texas audiences are really special i mean i am biased because i live in texas but there's something about like the enthusiasm that a texas person brings to anything yeah where it's just like they go bigger they go home everything's bigger in texas they really i mean we did get bought shots probably three different times last night and that's never happened on tour no i don't know if we needed to happen more but i don't know about that but like the balls of just being like I shall go to the bar mid show by five shots and just walk up to stage. I love it. Uninvited. I mean, I love it. I love the ballsiness. God, I appreciate it. It was really cool. And I was

thinking about this this morning, like, you know, we've done 13, I guess, 13 shows and some were definitely better than others. Like, and, but that's just the way it's going to be. They can't all be your best show that's just impossible you know some you know like some were wonderful but like not the most memorable like for us you know so it's like i don't know i just felt like this last night was a really fun show it was such a good crowd it was such a cool venue you know i love a house of blues i don't know there's a vibe i feel like we should just do house of blues exclusively yeah well it's like it makes sense yeah for our size size yeah it's not a stadium but people can sit and they're not at tables so it's not like a grimy club comedy club yeah um

i love that we're already like we should only do house blues and two days ago we're like we're never touring again well listen i'm not i think we should do like a year from now yeah we should go back to new york because new york we always sell out la always sell out yeah and then we have to come back to texas like maybe a chicago oh chicago too how could i forget because then you're kind of like hitting and then girls can come to travel yeah we're trying to do maybe a little bit of like a festival ish idea like make it a big thing because people travel i swear to god any any show that we ask our vips where they're from they're not from that city anyway so like girls are traveling so we would love to kind of make it more of a thing so it's not just like

one hour you're doing this thing you're having like a whole weekend experience and make it worth your while so that i feel like is in the books but if you came out so far thank you so much for coming out it was the it was everything we dreamed it would be and then some let's let's do a podcast all right it's time for good week yes it is bad week oh no who would like to go first um i'll go first, I guess. Okay. Um, my good week is that tomorrow, which is going to be Monday, which is going to be yesterday from when you're hearing this. Oh my God. I'm exhausted. I have no idea where we are. Um, I'm going to Vermont with Jared. I'm very excited about it. I've never been to Vermont before. I've always had it on my bucket list to go during like the leaf changing season

in the fall where we can drink cider and like drive around and like do the whole thing. And then we're going to go to Salem over the weekend, which I've also always wanted to do. Cause I can, you know, see all the grave sites of all of the poor victim witches that were executed. And I just think it's going to be great. And I'm so excited to go. Only Jack Vanek is like, I got off tour and you know what I'll, where I'll go Vermont to see some witches. Like I'm like, I got off tour. I won't be leaving my house till the holiday season. Well, listen, I also wanted to do that, but I'm like, this is my one little this i was telling becca earlier i'm like i don't even know next year where am i going to be in

october i don't know i'm like this we got this one week jared's already on the east coast yeah so i'm like i'm taking advantage of it and it's gonna be chill i'm not gonna get blackout waste you know this is your best manicure i'm sorry you're just using your hands and i'm isn't it it's a really good manicure oh my god i found it well bren my friend bren told me about this place in new york i went to the upper east side from brooklyn what's the name of this place i need to go is essa nails on lexington like 40th or something issa no it's up thinking of something else it's like on a second story it's the best manicure i've ever gotten good i know i hate that this is an audio medium but i couldn't i couldn't help but notice sorry thanks and i was really

picking at my cuticles before they were bleeding so she did a good job wow anyways well i'll tell you this about the leaves changing and i know i'm gonna hype it up for you oh i thought you're gonna say it's disappointing no one of the parts of the two years that i spent working on cruise ships i did a saint lawrence seaway cruise that went from new york city up through the saint lawrence like like montreal ottawa and like down i didn't even know you could put a cruise ship in there i guess it's big enough how do you i have no idea it's big it's like a big lakey yeah it's not a river you know anyway and they do it during the fall yeah because that's what and it is gorgeous and i'll tell you i have a core memory about crunchy leaves okay like growing up we had

seasons in canada right and like the fall was like such a season because you're like battling down for the winter yeah and like the crunchy leaves under your boot is like such a core memory of like hot chocolate many layers like i'm my best self when i'm wearing three to four layers of clothing like i'm not meant to be in a summer tube top so it's just it's core memories i think you're gonna have a great time i'm excited i'm getting my rent the runway all my coats shipped there because i didn't have room for them wow smart yeah get shipped here ship them back home before i even leave and you can wear like a beret and like taylor swift no i don't know i can do okay does that sound like something i would do wear a beret and listen to taylor swift

taylor swift last two records feel like a fall crunchy leaf record that's true maybe i'll listen to that one the one that she did with bony bear yeah or whatever yeah yeah that sounds nice okay bad week okay so my bad week is today this morning when i was taking a shit i fell off the toilet now it was the toilet precarious in our beck and i are sharing a hotel room the toilet seat in our hotel room was not attached to the toilet at all it was completely detached and if you've read lady secrets you know that i poop special move i poop with my feet up onto the toilet to give my colon a really nice angle to get all the poop out yeah and i was kind of wiggling around while i was on there and i fell right off the toilet with the toilet seat onto the ground so that was

a fun way to start my good night tour great way to end it you know what at least the poop was out don't let the toilet hit you on the way out the poopneek starts the book yeah and a poop fail poop fail i don't know it was good in your bastard poop disaster anyway wow um we think of a good word i could go next because mine has to do with poop as well i'm so sorry world it's okay you know okay i have i have to go home i have to get off tour because i know exactly this is my good week, bad week. I know exactly why I never leave the house. I am not responsible enough as an adult to live adult life outside of my house. I cannot make a good decision when I'm in public to save my life. I have really studied this on tour. I tried. I remember the second meal we ate,

we went to Whole Foods and I ate a vegetable and I was not drinking Diet Coke. It's now three weeks later and it is like disaster on top of it. I have to be home. I have my schedule. I have my fridge. I have my foods. I have my water. I have my workout. I have my bathtub. Like I, I actually can't be out. And last night was a perfect example. The best time at the show. And what do we do? We go to hooters and what do we eat at hooters? We got fried pickles, delicious mozzarella sticks fries um tater tots that were covered in bacon i ate them i was eating around the pieces that had bacon dipping them in the sour cream we got other things fries boneless wings oh i didn't have the wings and then like those honey sriracha boneless wings sorry fire

flames continue so good and like six quarts of diet coke and then we got on the bus then we got on the bus and i'm like okay this is tour life like this is what you do and at least i had something in my stomach then i'm on the bus and it's juggling us around we got off the bus four hours later to get in the hotel i almost threw up in the planter i forgot about that i got off i was so nauseous i'm walking into the hotel and it's like always a disaster getting all these people checked in doesn't have the room no we're walking we're walking into the hotel room and then you just like stop and you like you curl like you bend halfway over and i thought you were looking at something like in the grass like you're looking at like a flower or something dry heaving i was

dry heaving it was like we're like kelsey what are you doing you're like i'm going to throw up yeah and so then we get in and like of course i'm still the mama of the group and everyone's just fucking exhausted so i'm looking around and i'm like send the girls off to their room and then they have like the same key as someone else so chelsea or alex comes back chelsea comes back down she's like oh my god we all have the same cabs like take this key go sleep and then i'm standing there and it was like 30 more minutes no yeah and i'm standing there and i was like and then caitlin didn't have her resume it was like a whole thing so then i got up here it was very confusing the funniest thing when we got into the elevator it was so much chaos it was

like we have three rooms in this room in this room but then there's four but is there four it's like jack goes was that a riddle i was like it was like we had to solve a riddle to get our rooms because she literally because we're not this isn't a sponsored hotel so we don't okay so it doesn't matter i don't even know where we are but like we're at the front desk and she's like we have three rooms but is there a fourth under night and she's like checking she's like there is three and a fourth but not the fourth the fourth disappeared but there's actually two but there might be three and we're like oh my god it's 5 30 in the morning like is there three how many goddamn rooms are there they're prepaid just give us the keys and then she gave us the keys you guys got the key

and then four of us got the key for one room yes yeah becca and i go to check in the escape room and we didn't escape and they were like we go to check into our room and then alex and chelsea were behind us and they're like this is our room we're like no this is our room and then we use both keys and they both work so i'm like that's a safety violation like what if that was like some creepy murder oh god anyway it was a disaster okay so then when i got up here i had explosive diarrhea i mean i'm jealous i had such bad diarrhea this morning oh my god i was constipated i i had to sit and like i could have read and listened to the entire audiobook of lady secrets while poop was coming out of me it took a long time i'm so sorry world i'm gonna stop

anyway um yeah so my that's my good week and my bad week we finally found the puzzle of the hotel rooms and made it in. And then I just, I'm, I'm excited to go home and start like to have a little bit of less chaos in my taking care of myself because I'm going to self-destruct. Like I'm not going to make it last night. Your iron infusions are going to be like gone. Triple dose. And I got home last, I got up this morning and I was like, why are, why are my eyes glued together? Because I tried a new mascara on the road. I would never use this mascara, but it was in the maybelline thing it was waterproof i didn't know that i didn't wash it off properly i walk i woke up this morning and my eyes were like crinkly together and i couldn't open anyway so

wow my good week actually happened at hooters um we're sitting there and it's like late at night probably 11 really late 11 30 a lot of kids in there very questionable yeah we're a place no idea no idea dallas likes their kids like to party but we're in the hooters it's me caitlin jack and kelsey it was so fun if turns out we need caitlin to infuse fun into our lives because we're so sick of each other that we need like a new it's like bringing in a yeah a person in your thruple you know like bringing in new energy yeah in the bedroom so caitlin's our swinger yep and so we're at hooters and we're feeling really festive because it was a great show we're toward the end like it's a good vibe yeah well we're sitting there and there's tvs

everywhere and all of a sudden entertainment tonight weekend show comes on and kelty is you know laser focused and then that in turn we become laser focused we start watching entertainment tonight weekend show and there's a giant table of like middle-aged like 20 people 20 people below the television yeah and we're just watching watching watching and it's suddenly an outburst from kelty she screams it's me and points at the tv so then all 20 people below the tv look up look at her look up look at her and i guess they showed you from like a previous interview yeah it was a brad pitt uh five years ago yeah yeah and so they're like confused and you're like i'm on tv i'm on tv like you would think that it was the first time you've ever graced a television it was

pretty insane it was so crazy and then at the end everybody's like looking and the segment ends and she goes thank you very much and then she proceeded to do some sort of almost a strip tease coming down the stairs that i did post on instagram so i hope you saw it um in a oh in a baggy sweat pant a tour t-shirt a hair and a clip a claw yeah and like grandma walmart sandals like a ripoff birkenstock yeah but like the from walmart yeah yeah yeah and those people were also watching you do that and they're like wow this is weird this is really taking a turn it was so fun though even the reason that i got so psyched about it is i know this sounds so stupid but i hosted entertainment tonight

weekend for three years i never saw it on it comes on at where it was midnight 11 it comes on at weird times in weird cities and like it was my it was my main host i was a correspondent on the regular et but et weekend i was a host of and so like but i never saw it and so this was a you know wow what a moment treat and you know what it still doesn't matter it's still so unimportant that no one at the table was like, Oh yeah, I've seen you for 10. No one was, I don't know her. It was, I don't know her mom. Great. I thought it was great. It was a good moment for me. That was my good week. My bad week is that I'm leaving in a, in another week. I'm leaving my child again in exactly a week to go to Spain for a friend's wedding. And I, I know that's good

because it's like wow i get to go on vacation but i am a fucking idiot because i didn't like really consider the fact that i wouldn't be seeing him at all for the past three weeks and i just can't get over it i can't he's saying dada he's like he's a full human now and that all happened when i was gone he's reached every milestone while you've been gone everyone and i'm like what's he gonna do when i'm gone he used chopsticks for the first time like i can't can deal with this. So I'm like, we can't shorten the trip because we're going with other couples. It's also so far away that you don't want to like go for a short amount of time. So I don't know what I'm going to do. I think I'm just going to have to be like

really heavily intoxicated the entire time I'm there so that I'm just out of sight, out of mind with my child. So that's what we've got. I actually think, Oh, are you okay? Oh yeah. Yeah. I think this is actually really great. Is it though? Yes. Because you know what? This is, how do I explain this? Okay. You were one of those people who was like, I will, motherhood will not change me. I'm going to have my career. I'm going to be a working mom. Like I'm going to do all these things. And this month is teaching you that you actually are not comfortable in that. You don't like it. So you, unfortunately this is already planned, but he's so small. Now you'll know moving forward, you know what? I'm not going to like give away three

weeks at a time. I'm going to really be mindful of my calendar. And I also think the second reason I think it's good is that as you know, my parents never loved me either. And I'm not saying you don't love them, but they did not spend a lot of time, um, around me. I played Monopoly by myself. you know there wasn't a lot of like dark oh my god i was all that is so depressing i was not the horse that you know so and it makes you a very independent person and i think that what's what is what you don't want to raise a man to be is like a super mama's boy where he can't even like like chris knight and never put away a plate after he's eaten in his life because his mother was at some point his mom was always there putting the plate in the dishwasher i've had to train him

retrain him i love that ford's getting and this is when you know it's the first two years make them who they are oh no this is supposed to make you feel better he's gonna be an independent cool world traveling he's gonna see and know that women are strong independent have their own lives like i think you're setting him up for like marrying a cool girl like you're really doing the work we'll see we'll see i mean i don't know another time that i would ever do this be in a situation like this no the timing is well no you got a big movie and he would come with me like i guess that's a you're right though i did learn that if i go and shoot a movie for three months or for three weeks in canada because that's usually the way those movies work is like i will not be telling zach

bye bye i'll come back on the weekends i'll be like he's coming the nanny's also coming you're welcome to come yeah but i'm not leaving my kid again yeah for an extended period yeah i mean i think that's a really good learning experience yeah i mean i gotta get his passport i'm like panicked now because if you get a job if i get a job it takes i don't know so anybody passports you know chris knight i'm like oh i don't know chris knight has a great passport person you should actually text him today okay he has like a guy that does all the celeb passports you can get them in like 48 hours but babies are hard babies because they don't have any form of id so it's like both parents and like seems maybe sketchy if you're trying to get a passport so

smuggling this child out yeah yeah well good thing though child looks exactly like you so when you're holding it at customs you'll be like this is my child do you see this do you see the same i just can't wait for his passport photo me neither and i think you need to document the process like do you hold him up or like what is he yeah you you sit up on his own yeah he sits up on his own yeah you hold them i think and you like go down or something i don't know i gotta see it i have an idea i don't know but i have a suit i have an idea for a suit god i love this idea yeah i have an idea for products that i want to do and i think i can't decide if they're inappropriate or not and i need the lady gang community to help me out okay so a friend of

ours came to the show in atlanta emily loftus yes and she and i were talking about how annoying it is when you like send your kid off to someone who's not you and they send you pictures of your kid and their hair's messed up and child and baby hair is really it's it's it's tricky it can and it can change a look you know like ford can either look like an adorable little cherub baby or like a little like dumpster child like cabbage patch yeah because he's got very he's got a lot of hair but it's very straight and it's like fine so if it comes forward he looks like dwight shroot from the office yeah and i'm like i'm i felt a little ashamed but emily admitted to me that she has a spray bottle and some hair gel yeah that she puts in the kids hair before she

drops them off at uh school and i was like i have thought for so long and i've put i put dry shampoo in my kids hair granted it's from detox market so it's all natural but i'm like he gets a little oily and if we go to dinner i want him to look nice so i've used my dry shampoo and then i do like a little bit of like a pomade another natural product but like to keep his hair on the side and i'm like is it pushing am i crossing the line if i do an all-natural line of baby hair products no i think you should because or else people are going to be using shitty stuff hair products and a lot yeah and like that aussie hairspray that's like full of chemicals can we like brainstorm because i think this could be something relatively large i have a feeling that probably already

exists yeah me too i feel like you're not looking hard enough okay well let me google i know i mean don't google now i mean i'm not trying to everything exists that's the only reason why i think it exists but the fact is they're not doing a very good job of marketing it so yeah i don't know about it move over yeah exactly i just think what the real problem is have you seen a baby comb baby combs are useless it's like the teeth are so far apart like what you actually need for baby ford's like head is a mason pearson brush with a zillion yeah you know what i mean have you seen a baby comb a baby comb has like five bristles it's not good well and baby's hair is so fine and like you're not seeing baby hair no i'm not you guys okay wait maybe like for children but

not for babies okay the littles the littles drunk elephant has some stuff oh anyways can you guys tell me can you dm me and let me know if you use hair products on your babies if something that like people are doing it in private because we don't want to be called vain yeah yeah yeah okay thanks um the other thing i wanted to say is that becca at the beginning of this tour you're like do not give me baby gifts on tour okay but someone just knocked it out of the park i know that was they messaged you they messaged me i didn't get a chance to tell you yesterday they said hi we have a little baby market in texas and like she owns a baby market yeah like it's like her little brand i wish i'd gone there now that i've seen how cute it is and she was like i know becca

said clearly do not bring me baby gifts on the tour yes but i just feel like this is so adorable don't you think i just want to show you yeah it was a very leanne ford-esque like a little hat and a little like it was all like tan yeah it was all very and i was bamboo it's so soft yeah and i was like honestly babe she's gonna love this you should bring it so they brought it to the show and you got it and you loved it and this is another thing i think what's the name of the brand again i don't want to not do a shout out i don't have it i think it's b and babe or something i'll we'll find it out we'll do an instagram okay um i can look it up too but i just think it's like you you're opening yourself up now people know you're my friend that you can't get

the shitty present for you're not getting the shirt that has little quackers like quacker like ducks you're not getting a duck onesie you know what i mean some people are just got the cutest zara clothes for the for him they have the cutest baby clothes ever but this company damn it i really do want to remember because it's so good oh look i have a question for you are you guys i might have to the bathroom you can continue without me no no I can wait it's fine I have a question for you Becca actually while I look up this um are you doing that that month like month one month two month three pictures yeah no oh because we have iPhones now that have dates on everything and it's just like I mean I'm just not a good documenter yeah I'm really bad at it no I

looked through your phone the other day looking for pictures of me and I was like wow Becca documents her life in a way that is so different than me and my pictures yeah like you don't have that many pictures no i don't like i have a picture of every single moment thing whatever i'm having to remember to take more pictures of ford right it's bad yeah because it's important i know the little baby i know the baby okay hold on i'm looking up the name sorry hold on let me just see if i can find it i probably can't because you know so many people tagged we had such a big show last night. So many people were having party party. Anyway, I'll find it later. Um, all right. When we come back, a final thought from tour. Now a word from our sponsor,

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now back to the lady gang so what i thought we could do for this final episode from the road is do not our good week bad week but our good tour bad tour oh so it's like the moment that was like the most fun that is your core memory from this bus tour okay ladies are sitting here they both have matching sweatsuits on and their eyes are both closed thinking um but your core memory of like good and your core memory of bad okay i'll start oh i've got a great one core memory for sure of bad was eating the sandwich and pooping in the box i can i can picture myself scarfing the sandwich i can see the street we were on i can see all of that core good memory was last night was so fun on the bus i could not stop laughing i have all these videos i haven't

gonna watch today but like the thing that i thought when we got the bus is that every night we would just like hang out and it would be like girls trip right like every night we'd be like and we like wouldn't be able to calm down and it would be like sleepover city what i didn't realize it would be so tired and bitchy and like just over it that everyone would lock themselves in their little coffin bunks and like put in their headphones and be like leave me alone i need to try to sleep yeah and everyone was dealing with their own thing jack's dealing with her insomnia Alex is dealing with the one drawer that's like cranking like everyone's you have to move bunks because you got orally like everyone's dealing with their own little personal drama like trying

to sleep on the bus so there was never really a time where there was the one time I went to sleep and you guys stayed up and like astrologically I was gonna be one of my good weeks okay and but last night we all sat there the beds were open we're jumping around Becca's doing she's having so much fun she's doing the becca real fun laugh is when she goes like she does you know it's like it's not a fake laugh it's like she's really and she's having pure laugh um chelsea and alex were laughing caitlin was like making fun of like it was just so fun even though it was like this we weren't up for a long time because we had to go to bed but it was just like it was that tour bus core memory that i will always remember from like us being on tour let's never do it again but like

i'm glad we had that moment because unfortunately during that moment i had already taken my sleeping medicine yes so this was all happening while i was like that was a rookie mistake well because before that happened we were all getting ready for bed low energy and i'm like this is a perfect time to just pop my trazodone it'll affect me in 15 minutes and like i and then shit popped off and i was like i hate this i'm like get me away from all these psychopaths yeah yeah so i'm glad that it was good for you guys yeah we had we had our core memory we had our bus moment and it made me really happy but you did rally to do the rallied because we had a competition of how to get into the bunk the top bunk without touching the bottom bunk and you know who did it the best

me while i was on my sleeping medicine i let's let's just let's give credit where credit is due i originated the mount but i'm pretty sure i mounted well first of all you barely had to really mount because you're like a foot taller than i am it's true you know i had a spider monkey my way up there and i did it in a way that these other two idiots couldn't even halfway get to the dancing with the stars champion couldn't even plie relevant you guys have the worst upper body strength i've ever seen and there's no jump like you guys like stopped before you jumped it was wild anyways we had a competition of who could get on the top bunk without using the bottom bunk to get on yeah and it was funny it was and jack did it on tramazon tramazon trasadone hilarious the

next time you go to your doctor and you're like hey um i have a feeling that we should add this to the american journal thing where it's like don't operate music like heavy machinery blah blah like don't do gymnastics on a tour bus while it's moving yeah on the highway yep no big deal okay what's yours um well one of my highs was going to be the night that you did not participate i have two highs though okay because that was other than last night that was the only other night on this tour was between we played a show in philly and we drove to new york that night because we had pressed early in the morning it was like a two-hour drive and all of us stayed up in the front lounge and we were all like giggling and laughing and jared was there and

he was like one of the gals and we're going through becca was telling us all of our horoscopes and how they like all worked together and kelty locked herself in a bunk yeah i was i i had too many people i'd out peopled but anyway it was fun it was fun and then my other my other core memory is just like a general memory of being around kelty night 24 7 is such a special shocking traumatizing invigorating spectacle that like i'm so glad i got to experience it what do you mean you are just a special snowflake you are so bizarre weirdest person i know the weirdest person how you operate how you function how you fuel yourself is just so insane and i love that i got to experience it like for because we don't we've never been around each other for this long

yeah of a period of time yeah what are you like i don't get it we're having your highs and your lows like a like it's like a mental illness well and just like how for example we're in atlanta the other day and kelty got too drunk before the show started roller coaster she threw up before the show started and was on the ground moaning it was an emotional day for her though because she found out about the book sales it was after the book sales and the we haven't discussed we're gonna talk about it we're gonna talk about it but let me tell you what it was it was alex's birthday cake i gotta be honest with you the cookie cake because alex got sick on the bus after sorry to whoever sent that cookie cake

i don't think so i ate more than both of you i did too i made it more than all of you it really affected him for the tour actually maybe there was gluten in it i have no idea but it made me so like i could feel my blood sugar like being up it was a lot of sugar and like for somebody who probably didn't eat that day yeah because you're bad at adulting i'm really terrible at adulting okay yeah no it was okay well you know what it's true um and you're welcome i'm glad you got to experience it i mean i loved it and this is why i don't leave the house because i i can't exist like this all the time no because I just you know what I mean like I need I I need stability and I need to be doing my day kind of in my calm of myself because I'm going around people it's

too much stimulation I can't make good decisions for myself like I'm a five-year-old yeah it's true um my bad core memory is when we were doing press in New York City on the second day and we were so tired and we had been doing like hair and makeup at 6am and going and talking and talking and talking and just being on, on, on. And then our final interview on the final day was downtown in the financial district. And we finished everything and we've got to like take care of some other stuff for some sponsorship. And I remember being like, I'm going to die. All I wanted was to lie down. It was going to take us two hours to get back uptown. Yep. Because the UN conference was there. All I wanted was to eat something because we'd eaten nothing all day.

I just wanted $2 to get a hot dog off the side of the road. Didn't have it. I just remember being like, this is the bleakest moment of my life. I can't go all day without food. And we did that like two days in a row and i was being miserable it was pretty bad i've never been more miserable i don't know how you exist like i have no other choice but to like adult because i'm like i just self-combust i become the biggest monster ever you are resilient when it comes to operating surviving on nothing surviving on i'd be great i'd be great on survivor you would do you have a good week a good um probably hooters and like that whole evening because it was just the most recent and i don't remember anything i have a bad memory so it's probably similar

because yeah that's that was like my every single night on the trans-siberian orchestra tour was like that craziness and i in my mind i fantasized about that yeah it never came and then finally it came and because i was getting really bummed out i would like walk onto the bus and i'd be like the smell bums me out yeah the vibe bums me out yeah it's because we hadn't created any positive memories in it no no we didn't have time because unfortunately yeah we were tired and then we finally did that and then the bus goodbye never sing it again bye see you never bye d all right listen up does your probiotic contain clinically studied strains meet one that does ritual symbiotic plus contains two of the world's most studied strains with over

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visit ritual.com slash lady gang to start ritual or add symbiotic plus to your subscription today based on a nationally representative sample of n500 consumers 18 plus you're listening to the lady gang i hate to bring it up but since this episode is titled the new york times we're sellers um i guess we need to i mean we've been talking about it a little bit at the show but we need to let you all know i could cry right now oh god um we did not make the new york times list for lady secrets and i gotta be honest it was four days ago i feel like i'm already over it but until now when i talked about it again now i got sad again um the penis chart is coming back to la and will be disposed of are you gonna burn it yeah it's a yard and

then i'm gonna throw it in the pool well don't burn it in the yard you're in a high fire yeah zone that's what i'm gonna do it right beside the pool okay but like but like i'll light it i'll light it and then i'll jump in the pool cannonball style oh good night good night um so i i'll tell you a little bit ght good night good good night i'll tell you a little bit of what happened in my mind okay um so in general uh okay so we went on this tour and the way that it worked is that we bought the book when you came on tour you got a free book and the way that works is that we actually buy the book ourselves with our own money so that's why we're laughing about not making any money on the tour because we essentially paid for

all the books that you enjoyed which we're so happy about and people do this on book tours a lot and so you you know you do a book with ticket and we wanted to be really helpful because after covid to like the small independent bookstores and so what we did is we we ordered those books in every city we went to chicago new york atlanta like from the local indie bookseller so that you know, they're getting an order for 400 books. That's like a really big week for them. Like it's a really thrilling thing. And we felt like that's what we can do to give back to these small businesses and it would be awesome. And then what happens is like those booksellers, they, you know, the week the book comes out, they go through their till, they ring up the books and then they report

those to like the overall bookseller of America. And what ended up happening is that at some point during the day, the New York times list came out, which was already way too late for us to rectify it. We started getting like the numbers emails and I started freaking out because like, I knew how many books we had bought for the tour. In addition to the pre-orders that you guys had done from, you know, Amazon or Barnes and Noble, whatever, anyway, not to be like too inside baseball, but the numbers did not match up and we're missing like almost 3,500 books. so I start having a cal down. We start calling the indie booksellers and I love indie booksellers and I love bookstores. So this breaks my heart, but this is what happens. You're, you have this

small book tour, you have this small bookseller and one person is like, Oh, we got really busy this week. We couldn't put the numbers in. This other person is like, Oh, my son had a soccer conference. I couldn't put the numbers in. So one by one, we're going down and we realized out of like the 15 stores that we had ordered books from only five or six had actually reported to the New York times. Okay. So that's one thing. So the number was not there fully. The second thing is that the mother books on the New York times, there was no new books are weak. They had all been on for like 384 weeks and they're selling a ton of books. And what was even on the list? did you check it? Yeah. It's like Jen Sincero, you're a badass and like yourself. Like it's just

cause we're on that miscellaneous, like self-help book. So, you know, so then I want to blame the Indies and I get really mad and I'm like, Oh my God, they does like, Oh, we should have been on that. You know? But then I just realized that like, to be honest, I think that our community and I love you if you're listening, like, it's just weird because I, I can see how many people listen to our podcast every single month. So when 0.000000004.4 people that listen to the podcast decide they're interested in a book, like maybe we were just on the wrong path. Maybe people didn't want to book this soon. Maybe this was not the book they wanted. Maybe we did a bad job of explaining it. But then I went back and I was like, we read chapters and we told people what

it was. So like, maybe people aren't reading. Maybe after COVID people are really truly not buying books. Like, I don't know what it was, but y'all were not interested in the Lady Secrets book you are interested in merch you are interested in merch you're interested in tour that's not true a lot of people pre-ordered this book i know and you're also trying to like put order to chaos like yeah you can't explain what happened like it you know what i mean a lot of it is like inexplainable and a lot of different things might have gone awry yeah but at the end of the day whatever happened happened and like i don't think that in your mind you're going to be able to actually pinpoint something that we did wrong right i know because i'm a data person so i'm

like oh i gotta look at this thing and this thing this thing like well if you look at it at the pot like tuning into a podcast is so much different than also going and purchasing a book from the same people like it's passive listening to the podcast is a passive like thing yeah i look at all the things that i listen to in a week all the podcasts like i love i love the deep dive that's a podcast that i listen to every week they came out with merch and i it's great it's amazing merch it's they actually have really good merch and i was like yeah yeah you know like we i just i don't need it i don't need it but i need them every week in my life yeah so it's i don't like there's no um you can't kind of put the two together like i guess is what i'm saying is like

there's people who really just want this hour or two hours a week from us. And that doesn't mean anything. It's not negative about us. It's not negative that we did the wrong thing. Cause there's a lot of people that still are buying the deep dive merch, but it's not me. And I don't, it doesn't mean I don't love them as much. So it's like, we, we offer something to people for free and some people just don't want to spend extra money and that's okay. And it's also like people are we're finally getting through the covid of it all and like you know we put our first book out during the middle of covid right people started buying books for the first time no all we're doing is sitting at home reading something to do you know what i mean now people

are like too busy going on their vacations and working their jobs that they have been dying to go back to like no you know what i mean but there's a lot it's a lot of things that's where it's like you can't pinpoint it and you can't be like this is what we did wrong and like i can never do you know what i mean it's just yeah i mean listen i had my meltdown i had my cry i had my little barf i had a little like pass out on the floor with a nice pack on my neck and then what i realized and i haven't even been to my therapy my therapy's not until tuesday but what i realized is i kept actually using my mantra which is like i'm safe i'm healthy i'm loved and i was like i was proud of these maybe not quite yeah i'm safe i'm healthy ish i'm loved

but like, I, this would have ruined me. I would have been so much worse like four years ago. Like I would have, this would have been a, a, a, an unsuccess that I could never get over. I would have been so ashamed. I would have felt like a failure. I would have quit the lady game. And now I'm like, you know what? You're right. Like not everything's for everyone. And God, people bought tickets. Thousands of women bought tickets to see us live. I know. I'd much rather that than buy a and come see us and have stories and cry and hug us and and to be honest buy some merch because then they're like wearing lady gang proud you know what i mean like it's cool i was at the cam show and i had a moment where i i bought merch did i talk about this on the podcast no i don't

think so okay so i bought two pieces of merch at the cam show because i'm like oh my god i love her whatever you know this old story but then i had this moment where i was like oh my gosh people come to our show and they feel the way that i feel about cam they feel enough connection to the lady gang where they want something tangible to like take away from this experience and it's just fucking crazy to me and it's really humbling to know that like there are those people that are going to go the extra mile and there are those people that feel the same way that like i don't know it's it's really that's super humbling to like see the audience see the vips who spent a lot of money yeah and see the people buying merch it's just wild like yeah we can't let this stupid

little insignificant title take away everything that we've built and also it's like i don't want the community to think that we're let down in any way shape or form right we're not no i mean you look back on this last month and it was a massive success everything we've done is like it we've taken so much out of it well I guess that was my point is like I like a quarter of me goes to like spiral like I'm so sad we didn't make it but then all the other things that were like wildly successful and amazing and it was like maybe how do I say this like maybe you don't actually need to be on other people's lists that they fake makeup and like like you know I listen it's arbitrary we like we knew this when we got on the list last year it has nothing to do but it's like

when you get picked you're like i'm the best and the most talented but like when you don't get picked you're like it doesn't matter like i don't want to be that person but it's kind of how i feel where i'm like even with all the press around the book and stuff it's like you you live your whole life like trying to be important to all these people who you're forcing them to think you're important whereas we have this community that we are important to each other yeah like just Just by being ourselves. I know. And that's the win.

Yep. Oh my God. You did it. Oh my God. Did you have a breakthrough? I had a breakthrough. Thank you. Cancel therapy.

We're done. Just kidding. Thank you guys for coming on tour and seeing us. And thank you for supporting everything. And we will resume regular podcasts from our life very, very soon. And we will see you next Tuesday. Thanks for listening. The Lady Gang is produced by Alex Ingber, Steve Delameter, and Jared Monaco.

Make sure you subscribe, rate, and review our podcast. And if you love it, share it with your friends on social media like, Oh my God, I just listened to Lady Gang. This episode's so great. Swipe up to listen. And if you really want to, which we know you do, please follow us on social. At Kelty, at Becca, at Jack Vanek, and at the Lady Gang. Sign up for our newsletter at theladygang.com and join our secret Facebook group.

It's super fun. See you next Tuesday. all this month celebrate hispanic heritage month with pluto tv watch movies with the biggest stars like eugenio derbez and no eres tu soy yo and luis gerardo mendez and camino a marte plus pluto tv has thousands more movies and tv shows and over 45 channels in spanish all for free so download the Pluto TV app on all your favorite devices and start streaming today. Pluto TV, drop in, watch free.