LadyGang - Nikki Glaser

Episode Date: May 17, 2022

Comedian, host and actress, Nikki Glaser, returns to the LadyGang to discuss her new show, Welcome Home Nikki Glaser? Find out why she thought it was time to create the show and how she navigates the world of Hollywood. Check out our amazing sponsors!!! Birdy Grey: Use code LADY at BirdyGrey.com to get FREE shipping in the US with your swatch order! Shopify: Go to shopify.com/ladygang for a FREE 14 day trial and get full access to Shopify’s entire suite of features! BetterHelp: Get 10% off your first month at BetterHelp.com/ladygang  CBDX: Go to CBDX.com and use code "LADY" for 20% off your first order! Jinx: Try Jinx today and get 15% off your first two orders online at ThinkJinx.com/lady  Redecor: Download Redecor for FREE on the App Store or Google Play Store!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Big announcement here. Our second book, our sophomore book, Lady Secrets, Real, Raw, and Ridiculous Confessions of Womanhood is available now for pre-order. Head over to theladygang.com slash secrets to pre-order your book now. We're so excited about this. Thank you to our community who submitted all of their deepest, darkest secrets. And there's a couple sprinkled in there from yours truly

and the other two dum-dums on this podcast. We love you guys so much for your support. We're so excited for you guys to read this. head on over and order lady secrets at theladygang.com slash secrets well what is this welcome to the lady gang that's amazing say that again the lady gang things are about to change around here each week we catch up with hollywood's hottest girl posse kelty knight becca tobin and jack vanik hello hello hello welcome to lady gang i am becca tobin here with jack vanik and kelty night wow hello oh that was gorgeous sultry sultry

okay well that left me speechless really seriously um oh actually this isn't part of my good week bad week this is so perfect it's time for good week yes it is bad week oh no so i started working with a girl here in austin who's young and hip and cool and she's helping me like with my social media stuff and excuse me sorry um so she i said to her i was like hey you know lady gang may need like some help down the line with some stuff just to make us cool and hip and young yeah if you want to start listening to the podcast so she started listening the podcast and she came over she comes over every monday and she came over yesterday and goes oh my god kelty makes the craziest noises on the podcast what i was like what she's like i i

kept thinking it was like sound effects that were being plugged in she makes crazy noises and i was like oh my god and then you sound effects though oh no you do you it's usually you going from speaking into a into singing a word yes yes with a really thick vibrato um yeah unsteady vibrato some would call that terrible singing but i like that you're unsteady bravado but i feel like i feel like you do it when you feel like there's space that needs to be filled in the air yeah and you're like let me just like kick it up a notch with this like half singing situation yes she just she gets the energy up i gotta pump pump somebody's gotta pump it up yep um okay so that's my good week i thought that was really funny and it was just so perfect that you just did

that um my bad week is that i've officially experienced taking a poop while holding a human oh my god like cradling or like what is what's the what's the holding so i had him in the carrier because there's a certain time of the day that he gets really fussy. It's kind of between, um, like his afternoon bottle and like bath time is at six 30. So every baby is apparently getting all their energy out through like from the day at that time. So it's hard to get him chill at that point. And they say, if you can get them to fall asleep for like 30 minutes, it's great. so the only way this kid will chill at that time of day is if he's in the carrier because he likes to jostle around a little bit he likes to hear music we play whatever we do our whole rigmarole

yeah so i'm doing it and zach leaves to go run some errands because he's sleeping and it's like very peaceful in this and very zen in this house and all of a sudden i have the worst diarrhea cramps happening in my stomach no and i was like well i can't take him out of the carrier he will scream his face off so i kept him in the carrier i pulled my pants down and with my child on my bosom i proceeded to have a bowel movement and it was very weird it was a weird sensation what was his reaction he slept right through it great wow okay so there you go do you ever have a bowel movement on your phone like when you're on your phone I cannot be on my phone like I'll be on it on Instagram but I can't talk on my phone like talking I'm talking like on your phone

was it a similar sensation to like I'm doing two things at once no no no no sure it was a lot different yeah very relaxing to be on my phone and having the bowel movement this was not relaxing this was also you're just trying not to wake him up and then wiping you he got extra jostled around and uh but he slept right through it which is great but this is what women say when they're like you can say goodbye to ever going to the bathroom by yourself because kids are just always around and it's already started so had to rip the band-aid off somehow humbling yes you're gonna be so happy to go to new york with us and sleep in a room with all three of us you'd be like this is so peaceful i know because you won't be crying except who knows i might cry we don't know we'll

see how the day there's a good possibility i think one of those nights in new york we should do our job what we need to do yeah go to dinner yeah see a broadway show and like maybe get wasted one night oh no i'm down maybe okay i'm never drinking again and eat some pizza yeah i love new york pizza oh it'll be summer in new york i'm so excited yep okay i have a good week um jack at some point told me that jared was more nervous to meet me than he was to meet your parents oh yeah yeah because you're terrifying no i know i i put it down as a good week i wanted everyone to know because i think that's something you told me by myself and i just want to let Everyone know that Jared has admitted out loud that he was more afraid to meet Kelty than he was to meet Jack's family.

I believe it. And now, I mean, I'm sure you're happy to know that Jared totally gets the Kelty hype and thinks that you're the most special snowflake in the entire world. Whether that's from like the time that he's personally spent with you or just listening to our podcast twice a week because he has to edit it. but like he he's you know he's turned the page i don't know why he was scared i wouldn't be more scared to meet your meet a parent like you're his daughter you know what i'm saying i'm just saying like that to me is so awkward he was scared to meet my parents too but like do you guys remember the first time that he met you guys i'm pretty sure is when we did our first episode with him that he was like a guest on the podcast yeah and he like walked into your office and there was

no like yeah yeah yeah you interrogated the shit out of him he was so and like jared's really come into his own like from dating right like he was a lot more timid back then and like nervous and he was being recorded on what he was saying so yeah yeah he passed you passed the test congratulations jared you passed he passed do you know that makes me think that the reason we're all in successful relationships is because if you look at a couple and if you look at both of those people and say i bet you both those people would make great podcasts it's bad it's a bad combo sure Yep. Like only one star.

Only one star. We should do. Oh my God. My best idea ever. Got the note. A one quickie. We're going to force Jerry. Zach.

Just the three of them. And Chris. Oh my God. To do a quickie. And it's going to be, and what we should do is we should have them do the quickie and then we will interstitial place our commentary on like the awkwardness. Yes. Do we even like give them a note or we're just like, go ahead. I'll give them the rundown. I'll give them the rundown. Yeah. Okay. Okay. This is going to be, that's a great way to like gauge if you should

be with someone. It's well, it's like the whole thing where there's only one room for one star in a relationship. Yeah. Wholeheartedly. Kind of similar. So if you're the podcast queen person don't go find your another podcast person no don't do it there can only be one okay my bad week is this so i somehow have been signed up for this thing called dolly so dolly is a delivery company in los angeles i think it's around the nation but they it's all text message so when they're getting ready to deliver your table or your crate and barrel or whatever you're getting they send you a text message that's like hey your dolly's gonna be here in 30 minutes for your new order and you're like so excited so i don't know who this bitch is

that signed me up with my phone number someone has signed my phone her up for dolly and they are ordering a ton of furniture and every day i swear to god once a week i get a notification that's like your chair is is arriving and i get excited because i think well i must have ordered this last fall when i was i don't know what's coming i'm waiting for it and then nothing ever comes to my house they text me things that i haven't ordered are arriving i never ordered them they never arrive i never get any deliveries i have no furniture good night are you sure that somebody hasn't like hacked into your credit card and is actually ordering things on your card i did have my credit card um hacked a few weeks ago at sam's club by the way if you're gonna hack me

don't go to sounds club for 46 you lose well that means they're in survival mode so or it means they're they're testing it out to see if you notice right or they're trying to buy a tv you know what i mean anyway i noticed so no it's not that it's i they've fucked up a phone number and they're like anyway because sometimes i get called and people are like is doctor blah blah there and i'm like no doctor business okay uh my turn yep um this is a couple weeks late because we pre-recorded a little bit uh during superfan but i went to coachella obviously it was whatever but guess who i ran into when i was there who chris knight oh yeah not only did i run into chris knight he ditched whoever he was with and he hung out with jared me and my friend kendra

for hours it was just us and chris hanging out we got food we got shots we were watching megan the stallion like he just was part of our group for a good like three hours that's amazing isn't it great when you're at festivals with him because he can really see what the line is doing what do you mean what the line is doing the food line he knows how many people are in front of you he can tell the lines oh yeah yeah he has that vantage point yeah but yeah it was so cute we're just i like i meant to just be like hey chris like good to see ya and he was like so i'm gonna hang out with you now we're like okay yeah i think he went to coachella alone i'm not gonna lie i was not available he went with like a friend but like i think he went alone i don't think he

did i think he went alone so i'm thank you for taking he's cheating on you um sometimes but i mean obviously not if he went and hung out with jerry and jack unless he was trying to establish an alibi like who knows right like they were i was with jerry jack all day it was weird how like he was very very like very into hanging out with us i was like okay i think i think honestly he just is very lonely because i've been in work mode for like almost two months straight and have like not even been like how was your day like i've just been so laser focused on myself so he probably was like oh my god someone's asking me how i am this feels so nice well we took him under our wing he was very sweet um okay my bad week i'll

be fast uh do you guys remember a couple episodes ago and we were talking about pets or something and i was saying how i had a pet eel when i was a kid do you guys remember this i hate this of course i hate this story yeah no you won't hate it anymore so my parents listen to this podcast sometimes which is so crazy yeah and they came to visit me recently and on the way up they listened to that episode of the podcast and my mom was like yeah we listened to the podcast when you talking about your pet eel and she's like you never had a pet eel what i made this memory up i made it up it never happened but i specifically remember the name i don't i didn't remember the name probably because it didn't exist i specifically remember having this pet eel i remember exactly

where the fish tank was like i remember taking care of it and feeding it i completely made this entire like scope of memories up and now that makes me like really scared for all of the other memories that i have as a child like are they real or are they imaginary i'm not gonna lie i thought it was weird i don't think you can have a pet eel no no it was like mini it was like this big i don't think you can have a mini eel i don't think they exist you can yes they're like you can get these like tiny eels at the fish store right now yeah exactly and that's what i thought i had i didn't think i had like a massive like three foot eel i thought i had like a little eel that was in with the other fish and i still think i do that maybe my mom doesn't remember i feel like if

your dad didn't video it it did not happen bingo i need to find this video you guys i swear like i i have specific memories but apparently now who knows who knows but like what is real you know what is real real when we come back the real one is with us Ka-ching, ka-ching, ka-ching. Lady Gang is brought to you by Shopify, who also, we use Shopify. If you've ever bought anything from theladygang.com, you've used Shopify. Shopify is an all-in-one commerce platform that helps you start, run, and grow your business. Shopify gives entrepreneurs the resources once reserved for big businesses so you can sell everywhere,

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This episode of Lady Gang is brought to you by BetterHelp. I literally need some BetterHelp. I'm on the verge of a countdown and I can't wait until my four o'clock video chat appointment with my therapist today. Listen, life can be very overwhelming and I know that there's probably a part of you inside you that's like, God, I really need someone to talk to and vent and figure out some life skills to get me through this good and bad part of my life. It's really scary to like Google a therapist and not know if they're great and have to

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That's BetterHelp, B-E-T-T-E-R-H-E-L-P.com slash Lady Gang. Now back to the Lady Gang. Our guest today is an actress, podcast host, radio host, comedy icon, host of FBoy Island. She's had multiple solo comedy specials, the queen of Comedy Central roasts, roasts, plays sold-out shows all over the place, and now is finally doing what we've always wanted from her. She's just being herself. Her new show,

Welcome Home Nikki Glaser? airs Sunday nights on E! And we can't believe she agreed to come back on Lady Gang after I motorboated her tits on Lady Gang TV, but here she is, and we're on a Zoom, so everyone's safe. Please welcome back to the podcast, Nikki Glaser. I'm so glad to be back. Welcome. It was a great moment

for me, you motorboating me. That was so wild. It was a wild time. that was talk about real you know like you going into that and not really being familiar with you guys you guys were just it was like i was joining just a party like there was nothing uh that's why we love you you know and that's probably why your fans love you is that you um you you know you're part of the system of being a celebrity and being in this world where everything is kind of fake but then you you keep it real when you know with your fans and like yeah and you just have fun and

you guys yeah that was that was a great day that was like an episode of bad girls club well because usually we would have to kind of pull it out of our guests you'd have to be like yes we had yeah we're like oh okay we don't have to do anything and also she's outshining us so much oh my god but congratulations on your show on e yeah but please let's talk about my reality show no no but this is really interesting it's real i thought i literally thought it was fake I was like oh she's so smart when I heard the announcement of this show like whatever last year when you announced yeah I was like she's so smart she went in and she was like okay I have a pitch for a show guys like a mockumentary kind of thing what if yes I go back home to St. Louis

and live with my parents and then as I it's been coming out and I've been watching clips and like that's what you actually did like you're in St. Louis right now it's so funny you say that Kelty yeah I'm in St. Louis because people I've been promoting this and it's so funny because everyone in our business kind of says on the side to me after all i'll do an interview with them about the show and they'll go so where are you now and i go wait st louis what did you just not and they go wait that's real and i go yeah what but it's so funny that we we just don't we know how fake everything is yes because we are a part of it and we we just know and um i that's honestly why i wanted to make a show is because i knew that if i was ready to do it and really do it which i

didn't I didn't get ready for it until probably two years ago when I really took hold of my like eating disorder and like cleared up my life of all the secrets I was holding because I would not do the show if I had anything to hide yeah because it my life was a mess before even though I looked on the outside like fine and I and I talked so openly and you're like she's not hiding anything she's honest so I felt that it was only something that I wanted to do once I really had nothing to And I think that, um, getting like really honest about, um, all the stuff that I was really ashamed of, which came to the surface during COVID when my life got kind of quiet in terms of work, I suddenly like my relationship with food and my body got like really loud

and I had to like deal with it finally. And then after dealing with it and getting, you know, recovered, but still always every day dealing with it today, I am like really struggling because of this Kim Kardashian being like i lost 16 pounds in three weeks by doing this thing and i'm like if i'm struggling with this with my amount of recovery this just do the kardashians have some kind of uh stake in a eating disorder uh recovery center because they're that was so bad they're gonna send so many girls there are going to be a decade from now because of this diet that she has been talking about they're going to be girls who are just jettisoned into the throes of a crippling eating disorder

that might take some of their lives i mean this is dangerous shit and i'm so fired up about it today i'm so annoyed but at the same time i'm sad for kim kardashian because she still she still has to live that life i'm not living that life anymore it's a struggle every day but because of it i get to call this kind of behavior out and i get to do a reality show where i get to be myself flaws and all and i'm kind of okay with it because i i had to deal with it that's amazing and so well said that's why I wanted to do the show is just because I really could have benefited from someone that I put lump a lot of perfection onto back when I was in high school in the 2000s like just going like I'm actually kind of a mess like here's my room or like just showing some side of

themselves that I could see myself in because I just thought I was like a stained person growing up like I I just there was something inherently gross about me something inherently wrong and like it would have just been nice to see the inside of Jennifer Aniston's purse on a bad day you know what I mean like something that dumb that um because I think that when celebrities I think we're back in the 90s 2000s there was no like this is the real me now we have a lot of this is the real me but it's still bullshit it's still like no makeup and you're like you're wearing a tinted moisturizer and you're wearing brown mascara that's not no makeup and you did a filter like yeah no then girls feel even worse because they go well she's saying she's real I mean I

used to be able to just convince myself that was hair and makeup and special effects but now she's telling me that's real and i can't and all she uses is vaseline at night on her face no she gets threads put into her scalp and pulled back and she goes away to belize to heal for eight weeks and we don't see that happen because she took pictures in advance that she could put out while she's away with straws in her face sucking out the blood that's dripping out we don't see that side of it you can't we constantly compare ourselves and we're not getting the full story and I just wanted to give the full story because I started just hearing that people being like oh my god you're so perfect I want to be you not that anyone really thinks that of me on a

massive scale but having certain fans be like your legs oh my god your skin is so good as soon as that started coming in I was like no I cannot allow anyone to think that I that I am anything but a lot of spray tan and uh you know dewy setting spray fake eyelashes like it's it's it's all a lie i do believe you should be able to like i hope that in all of this you also can celebrate the times when you're like crushing you know what i mean yes it like i that's the only then and i say this is someone who needs to crush or else i like cry yes it's like yes you're real yes it's spray 10, but like sometimes it's okay to just enjoy hot Nikki. Oh, I agree. Cause you are, you've worked your ass off when I was going down your IMDB to like research and get this episode together.

I was like, this woman has been hustling. You know what I mean? Like you have been on so many things. You have had so many, a few misstarts, a few things go your way. Things not go your way. like if you want to wear a dress and get a spray tent and have beautiful legs like i also want you to be able to celebrate yourself totally thank you and i that is also my messaging of like celebrate looking hot like it's okay to be like i look hot because i think a lot of times right like just like you're saying like there have been times where i have looked amazing like model-esque like really hot i've been like stressed out in my life so i lose a little weight that's a little too much then i look like i sometimes have looked like a model and i've been like oh my god i could

like you certainly you have those thoughts i've nailed it before but and then i get comments like as soon as you get too hot or you feel yourself too much you get just be funny you're a comedian stop this from people who are jealous and who people and because and i used i'm one of those people too whenever i see someone like putting in the effort and it's paying off i'm like god not that i could not look like that i'm not like oh i'm shit and they're cool i'm just like I just don't want to put in that work because looking hot takes work and sometimes you don't want to do it and sometimes you are busy and your life is just chaotic and so you go I want everyone else to wear sweats I want everyone else to dress down and and just not wear makeup and I get a lot

of I've had that before from girls of just like no one no you don't need to be a model Nikki like you're funny enough like your personality is great like this is really a sad look for young girls and a bad example to young girls and i go you know what's a bad example to young girls is acting like being hot doesn't matter because guess what it still does gaslighting us into thinking that the body positivity movement saved everything and that i'm not still susceptible to wanting to be hot and wanting to cater to the male gaze is just as harmful to young girls then then saying i like feeling hot because it makes guys like horny for me and guys have power and sometimes they give me things because they think i'll blow them or something i'm not going to but like sometimes

they get stuff because men want to fuck me and they kind of like it because other and they go but your talent could get you that um sometimes it doesn't sometimes men literally only give jobs to someone who will them they don't care about talent because it doesn't matter like the show is going to be the show they're still going to get paid their salary why not have a girl they have a flirtation with that that shit still matters it's gross i wish it didn't but denying it and acting like everything's fine is not the solution for young women yeah i was just at a dinner with friends and this girl who's very beautiful got cast in something but she's not really an actress she's sort of an instagram model influence or whatever she's beautiful

and my friend is friends with the with one of the producers and he was like oh yeah i was like oh that's that's cool that she got the role in my mind i'm like what the why did i go to like 85 years of acting classes why did i spend all this money like how did i not get this job and he's like oh yeah he uh he really wants to try to fuck her like just point blank yeah oh yeah he he wants to fuck her i'm like oh okay so we're like really not like a tale as old as time you know and honestly you can't i i don't even blame them because you know what they'll it's just the way it is men want to fuck things and if they think they have a chance like it does and you know what even if he didn't want to fuck her he might have given her the role because she's just more

fuckable to the audience they're trying to get to watch i literally just wrote an essay in our new book about this exact thing i was like all i want to be is fuckable like just do not i'm just holding on to my ability i i completely agree i always say i would give up my ability i would give up my sense of humor i would give up my ability to talk to look like giselle i wouldn't need it i could just grunt things and people would give them to me i'm that we know what giselle sounds like when she talks we're kind of like no please stop i was just talking to a friend of mine and we both worked with this one actress who is so beautiful like stunning movie star looks but she's really like in the talent department phoning it in not not really like the person

and she continues to put herself out there and like do these things and like in all genres like and and seemingly succeeding at things she's not good at and i was talking to my friend i was like what is happening and she goes she's beautiful she is one of the most beautiful people you've ever seen she casts a spell on everyone so when she's like oh my god yes i can f***ing sing everybody believes it she's so stunning and they think she sounds good too like they do and i do fear losing my my i mean we all do you were just talking about kelty like fearing becoming older equals unf***able i mean uh or whatever men deem to be unf***able i fear so much and everyone goes no Nikki you're gonna be the next Joan Rivers and I go do you know that

no one liked Joan Rivers before she died do you remember how men used to talk about her like oh shut up old lady why is she still in the red carpet like people were annoyed with her and then she died she died under a surgery trying to stay young by the way trying to be what all of us wanted her to be and then we go she's a saint she was a legend only I mean there were some gay guys and people with taste who liked her before she died but mostly it was like god go away it's like same with just any old woman we let like one in but then the rest were just like no and there's no it's just they don't and i'm just like yeah i hope i'm doing rivers too yeah i hope i die trying to be what you want me to be i'm not doing what you love just so insane a friend of mine just

did a big press tour um for something and she was going to all the like late night talk shows and blah blah blah and she's very naturally pretty she hasn't with her face and she sat down next to one of the top like late night guys and he looked at her and he was like oh my god like he's surprised and she's like what and he's like you have a real face he goes do you know how long it's been since i have seen someone with a real face oh my god no isn't that crazy that's the most insane shit do you watch have you watched the bachelorette from like for or bachelor from like 20 years ago you know like these women look so old just different yeah faces have changed i mean i put filler in my face i do botox it changes your face it it's hot for now because we've

adapted that's why i love the real housewives because they get all the shit done but then they sit down at their reunion and they tell andy everything they did yes yes it's so fucking refreshing like shannon bedore was like oh yeah oh yeah the doctor called after my facelift and he called my boyfriend and said i have never seen so much loose skin on someone's face i'm like oh my god yes this is incredible like it's just so refreshing i want to just remember women used to lie about dyeing their hair it used to be very like shameful and like oh no this is my natural color i hope that we get to a place with plastic surgery and you know cosmetic stuff where we can be as honest about dying our hair i would have no problem saying that i i dye my hair but for some

reason admitting i have filler there's a little part of me that's like oh people are gonna be mad at me for trying to be hot because it's vain and it's shallow and you know i wish it was just the same as wearing makeup like yeah i'm wearing eyeliner but there's some secret about it and celebrities lie so so much they're dirty liars this episode of lady gang is brought to you by callie my dog i will do anything to keep callie healthy as you know callie really likes to eat and she will at times overeat so i actually came up when i got my new bag of jinx dog food i got the best idea to do with the kibble so when i give her dinner now what i'm doing is i'm taking my jinx the clean ingredient kibble and i'm putting it in this little ball that i got and

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you know what i mean it's like how much of that comes from just the hustle and being there how much of it comes from having like a team people other people that believe in you that can like build with you that's a good point because i i guess by just my question is like we don't really have a team here at lady gang like we were us and then like there's been a million times where like an agent or a manager is like oh maybe we could and you're like you always wonder like how much of it is just like your hustle and your talent and then how much of it is like there's like a doc is there is there an oz behind the curtain that's like i'm not gonna say there's not a team because those people work really hard and i pay them a lot to to make the calls on my behalf but

I have to say that like every show I've ever had, um, has been like either my idea or the person that I created it with idea who is not someone on my team. So like this reality show was me. I mean, there was two years ago, I think I realized I wanted to start getting into reality because I was auditioning for scripted stuff. I'm not an actress. That's why I'm a comedian is I'm not, I would be an actress if, if I was good at it. And if I was good at auditioning, like liked, enjoyed the art of it, just don't.

But I always wanted to be on TV, and that's what led me to be a comedian because I failed at everything else. And I was auditioning, spending so much time on coaching and memorizing, and I would go and I would bomb. I never even got callbacks. It was just humiliating and a waste of time. So I just said, no more auditions. I'm not doing it anymore. I'm only going to take, like, people can offer me things, which is not going to happen, but whatever. And then I was like, wait, all the TV shows I watch are reality.

Like, I don't even like scripted TV. Like, I don't know why. I just don't get into it. and um and so i wrote an email to my agents being like i want to do reality a reality show i don't know what it's embarrassing to say that because it's just like then you think you're like worthy of a reality show like what's your life and every network has been pitched like a comedian on the road and like what their life is and so i've heard just no that's don't pitch that don't pitch you on the road um and i always wanted to be like the bachelorette i always wanted to be on a dating

show and because i just felt like i'll be real i'll just be and it'll help it'll be easier for me to be myself on camera than it is anywhere else i just i just thought i would be good at it and then i got asked to do f boy island which um you know when they first asked me i literally thought they were asking me to be one of the girls on the show like a contestant and i was so excited and i was like yeah you would have been so good really and then they were like so with hosting we think you should take like a funny and i'm like host oh yeah oh oh yeah i'm like wiping my tears because i really thought i was like finally i'm the subject of something um but i was glad to love that though i would have loved it so i i i decided okay i'll just pitch a show that'll be like my

bachelorette like on my terms me dating people me being single in st louis you know because i was living in st louis during the pandemic and i just kind of started putting my parents on instagram and I'm like, wow, people seem to like them. They're really funny. As soon as I put the camera on, they don't have to learn a line. I don't have to tell them anything. Like, I just kind of thought this is something.

And so, but I will say though, that I attribute most, if not all of my success to just saying yes to things, showing up, doing things I'm really scared of embarrassing myself over, not being scared, being terrified of failing, but failing a lot. You know, saying yes to Dancing with the Stars,

lasting one episode it was the most embarrassing moment of my life that saying yes to throwing out the first pitch the other day at the cardinals game even though i don't like i don't like sports balls make me very intimidated because i can never catch them i always look guys laugh at me people just like god you are just like special needs with sports but i said yes to it because i just i don't want to have a time i know in 10 years i'll like myself enough to be like throw the first pitch it's a funny story like who cares i'll be mad at myself now if i didn't do that so i think a lot of just make, being willing to make mistakes and also really stupidly saying yes to things where I go, I can't do that. Why did I say yes to that? Cause, and it also comes from like

having the confidence that I can put in the work that to be good at the last minute. Cause I'm a procrastinator, but also really coming from a place of like low self-esteem, to be honest with you. Like I don't, um, I've, I struggle with like feeling deserving imposter syndrome, all the things that you wouldn't attribute to me from looking at me everyone's always like you're so confident and I guess in many ways I am but it's all hard work I mean there's no like I was just born with it baby like I wasn't I was not I was like not talented at all when I was a kid I wanted to be something so badly but I just had no talents I would audition for plays I would get Jewish Townsperson B and Anne Frank like I was always getting and I cared so much and it just I felt

unseen and and and unheard and but now I know that my talent is um telling the truth um that's always what serves me whenever I get into any kind of spot where I feel um you know if I'm bombing on stage if I'm telling a joke and it doesn't go well I just stop and take a pause and just say okay just say what's true right now and I go that joke bombed these pants are too tight i regret wearing this shirt you guys came here expecting me to be like the roast queen and you're like she's not that good you're like probably gonna ask for your money back and then all of a sudden they love it people love the truth and it's really hard for people to tell the truth and it isn't for me so as soon as i found out that i had that talent i just

went with it because to me it's not talent it's just like a type of autism i have i think honestly like my brain is a superpower yeah but you know that that i was born with i don't know i didn't manifest it but um everything else is truly talent is mostly hard work and showing up i'll also say being your fan for years and i do think you're the rose queen even though you may not feel that way um but but i also think that you just know deep in your heart when you're a fan of comedy and comics that like they're the darkest people on the planet so like i feel like you oh like i think you're enjoyable because you know that you're like blonde and cute and like you seem so confident but i was like there's shit brewing like there's shit underneath

there because you don't get to be that good at like reflecting the world if you are not like i don't know does that make sense yes like i think comedians the most people no offense because i mean no we are we really are and i'm so glad that you know that i mean i am not um i yeah i've any comedian who has self-esteem i just like i have no interest in watching them it's bullshit because you would not be funny if you actually liked yourself because being funny being really funny and pursuing it as a career um it's a defense mechanism because it's you think you're shit so you're gonna make fun of things before people can make fun of you right and it's you know when you're a comedian you constantly tell a joke laughter comes back okay they like me tell another

joke laughter it's not singing a song for four minutes and being like well i hope they like it that to me is very uncomfortable I need constant validation people like me you know it's an it's an insecure thing now that I've worked on myself and I actually do like myself like I watch my reality show now and I'm like oh my god she is because I've never watched myself not performing you know even stand-up even though it's conversational and these are my real thoughts yes there's an act to it there's there's the lights and the camera watching myself on this reality show I am overwhelmed with like I just it's like looking at a picture of yourself when you're a little girl and going like oh she's just trying her best look at that cutie like

I really love myself now from watching the show the other night I'm like she she looks like shit there but girl she's trying her best and she's just a sweet girl she's adorable and she deserves love and I don't know it's it's been really nice to see that side of myself and because I was worried that I'd be like oh you stand like that oh you're not as thin as you think you are oh you're not as pretty like that was a bad choice with that Botox there like but instead I just go oh man that's a not a cute look and I just go oh look at her trot she's a cutie like it's this loving approach to judgment as opposed to what the fuck is wrong with you you know and I look like shit on this show like a lot and I'm so proud of it like I look like hell I look faces of meth

in some scenes like really bad but like you would be even for a mugshot be like um she couldn't like put on some baby cream for that but it's it's bad and i'm really proud because we're in the spot of the kardashian show and you're not used to that it's all soft focused really nice lighting hours of hair and makeup and i just i really made sure before the show started that i would not buy new clothes clean my room or put on makeup unless i was already going to be doing that that day for that like for that seat the thing we were doing if i would wear it there i would like nothing extra yeah today i got a press picture sent to me for f boy island 2 like the poster and um i'm in it with like these you know the three girls that are the main leads they're

decade and a half at least younger than me and but one of my publicists said hey just want to show you this promo photo before it goes live or whatever and um do you want us to tell them like your arm doesn't look as skinny as we know your arm is do you want us to tell them to fix that and i was like no i repeat like i i want you guys i told them i was like the the message here is i never photoshop my size ever i will not wear hair extensions there's certain things i do i wear eyelash extension like fake eyelashes tons of makeup i paint my skin with sally hansen uh tan spray i'm fake in many ways but i'm so insecure about my thinning hair during covid that i made i swore i'd never wear hair extensions again because i realized everyone on tv wears them

and it makes it like warps your view of what real hair is supposed to be so that's my like gift to the world like i won't photoshop my image and that's easy for me to say i'm a skinny woman i get it but um you know that was that's like all i can do is just kind of try to keep it real as much as possible and um and i'm just doing it for myself because i really could have used it in high school i just thought everyone was so perfect and i was just such trash like it's it's still in me well she's not trash everyone in the lady gang let's support our friend nikki her new show welcome home nikki glazer question mark i know there's a question mark yes so weird am i there to stay is this real yeah it's sunday nights at east she literally is in st louis she's at her

apartment she was at her parents she's just trying to win the world over a hair extension free um we love you congratulations on the show we will be thank you guys for letting me talk so much you're so sweet our breath of fresh air we are going to love this very much yeah i love you guys so much i mean i've followed you ever since i did your show and like love all your content love how you guys keep it real and um i'm excited to uh to have your fans maybe know about me for the first time and uh maybe check out my podcast too i do a podcast every day called the nikki glaser podcast and it's just every day you can join whenever um and yeah thank you so much you guys thank you thanks for coming

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