LadyGang - Nobody Wants This Creator ERIN FOSTER

Episode Date: October 8, 2024

Everyone's new obsession is Netflix's new series, "Nobody Wants This." Today, we will take you inside to create your favorite new rom-com with our friend and fellow podcaster, Erin Foster. The show is loosely based on her own life and gives us all the feels of the good guy, the Kristen Bell adorableness, and the double hand-holding kissing in the street that our guts deserve. Erin gives incredible advice on ego, sisters, Hollywood, and rejection. Plus, we have an organic clicker texter in the building, Keltie's name is misspelled AGAIN, and Jac's robe has taken over the OC.  Check out our amazing sponsors!!! Skims: Shop at SKIMS.com - Now available in 62 sizes (30A - 46H). After you place your order, select "podcast" in the survey and select LADYGANG in the dropdown menu that follows. Nutrafol: Got thinning hair? Get $10 off your first month’s subscription and free shipping at Nutrafol.com and use code LGPOD Origins: Check out the new Youthtopia line from Origins! Shop now at Origins.com/youthtopia  Huggies: Get your baby’s butt into Huggies’ best fitting diaper! Huggies Little Movers. We got you, baby. Macys: Get all your fall essentials at Macy's! Visit Macys.com or in-store!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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to speak to an advisor free of charge. BetMGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with iGaming Ontario. you guys hey guys how's everyone doing holding on holding on i'm fine barely hanging on well i actually what can we go i have something for you becca okay all right okay if it has to do with my clicker texting i can't i actually can't i love how i love how derrick made his own tiktok about it also like also no let me just no let me let me just say something okay I didn't want to do this in defense of you I didn't want to do this I didn't want to do this but I you've been forced to make me do this okay Jack Vanek is a clicker texter no I'm not she is because her nails her

nails create a natural click and you know what i've never even met i haven't even whispered it because you know what something she can't help she wants to have beautiful long nails and she wants to be able to be a super speed texter and you know i sit next to her in the podcast i'm like whatever do your thing girl make it so annoying honestly it's but isn't it nice it's nice when it's like an organic click you know the nail against the glass it's the same exact sound it's just as annoying i hate you both i'm leaving the podcast it's time for good week yes it is bad week oh no my my good week is that um you know i i came for becca it went pretty viral and it was people were writing me and they're like this is the best moment of lady gang because becca's

flawless you know what i mean so it's it takes a lot to take her down it's hard to find the flaws I see what you're doing. Um, so, but we got someone on the, on the comment, uh, someone on the video wrote, I will ride or die for Becca till the end. Yes. Clicking texting is quite the soothing noise. It's my version of ASMR. It reminds me of typing on a keyboard and really brings me nostalgic calmness. Speaking of calmness, when I'm sending a ravenous text email, I love having to click on. So people around me know I mean business and I'm not to be messed with. Number three, I don't have a dependent yet, but I do have a business and my clients need to reach me. So when I text them back, I'm too lazy to turn the sound off and then back on

for, I like it. I will not be shamed. You know what? You know what? She brings up a great point that I also hadn't thought of because if you hear that clicking, you're not going to interrupt that person. She's busy. Yeah, that's true. But if there's no sound and you can't hear, you could just be on Instagram. So you know what? Clicking forever. Clicker texting forever. Organic or machine made. I'm anti clicker, but I guess I'm pro now. So I don't mind the sound that your nails make on the keyboard. I find it quite nice. Like ASMR too. You know, it is, it is a little asmr also kelty you swallow harder than anybody i've ever known oh my god i have is like something i've never seen before never in my life it's like an anaconda taking down a rat

like it is the craziest i can i can feel what's going down your throat like i get in my own throat i'm feeling it this is what makes the podcast great because it was so shocking to find a flaw. It's not a flaw. We know I have so many flaws. Depends who you ask. Depends who you ask, you know? You're absolutely right. Okay. So my bad week is, this is a couple of weeks old, but I have to share it. So I was so excited to host the Emmys, the Live From E red carpet Emmys this year. And every, when you do it on Thursday, they send you like a little, you know, Instagram reel that they make. And it's like, you know, here it is. And so exciting. And you post it and you're like i'll see you sunday i'm fancy and so i you know i've been very busy and so i got mine

and i posted it and then i got multiple messages from my old colleagues at entertainment tonight being like hey um do you think they could spell your name right what they sent me the reel that was like join e-news host kelty nye and other emmys and it was kelty n-i-g-h-t in the video and i just put it up i didn't even look at it i was like well someone's looked at this and approved it so it's up and then i had to go back and be like hey guys do you think you could send this to me again and spell my name right and that was embarrassing because i am the host of b news and um you know it's just like whenever i thought oh god my like my outfit pictures are just slaying like god is like stay humble bitch nobody cares about you and nobody

knows who you are you know whose name was spelled right heather mcmahon you know what i mean and that's a hard one she doesn't even work she doesn't even work ity you know what i mean she just comes in for these one things they got her name right i'm there every day but anyway live your life i think it's the universe telling you anytime that you're getting a little too big for your britches it knocks you down a little bit katie knightley it's like our name is finally on a marquee and you are really like you think you are literally famous and then they're like no no no we're gonna put her first and last name tremendously yeah because just a few weeks before the emmys remember i was like oh oscar de la renta and monique lillier are dressing me i've

like really made it and and then the universe was like not today bitch kelty knight with an n night night anyway i noticed you didn't um go with my selection of gowns for the emmys kelty yes I did not what was your selection you did the annoying thing where you ask for advice and then you don't take it well actually to be honest with you I asked my three sorry Jack I asked my three most fashionable friends wow very rude you don't even have three friends and the fact that Jack didn't make it who were the other two my friend Marcella who like she's like a billionaire yeah well she's also rich yeah she's rich okay so you're three rich friends that have definership is what you're saying yeah anyway i'm not rich is that what you're gonna say because i'm not

no and um so and then i had to send them both to e to submit them and e's preference was red so it was it was yeah i'm gonna wear the green there was this beautiful very artistical and but I'm actually glad I wore the red Becca because it red was a big trend in color. A lot of people wore red. It looked gorgeous. I had no problem with it. I just really loved the other one a lot too. I'm going to wear it to something like a premiere or something. Great. Your boobs looked great. They're smushed up there. You look like you have like nice, nice tits. Yeah. I had a perfect corset on and then a jelly boob in there and we tailored the dress. The dress was originally supposed to be like a strap up and I tailored, but it was giving me like super armpit fat and

I hate that on TV when you're holding the mic. So, or like not fat, but like, you know, squish. So we moved it down. Um, it was very uncomfortable and I thought it was okay. I thought it was okay. I was, I was happy with her. You looked pretty. You look very red. Thanks. Um, who's next? I'll go. Okay. So I have been going a long span without Botox. Yeah. I've just gotten lazy, right i'm just lazy and who do i see every day like moms that i work out with you know yeah i'm like i don't have to impress anybody and zach barely looks at me so i'm like who's even seeing my eye my forehead wrinkles i'm seeing i'm thinking the same thing right so i'm outside with ford we're playing after school he's like hitting his little baseball and then he looks up

to luck looks up at me and he goes mama you have a boo-boo and i was like what do you mean i have boo-boo he's like on your head you have a boo-boo and I was like what and I open up my phone camera and I look and I'm like what and he comes over and he points dead ass on my high wrinkled forehead and I was like oh yeah yep mommy has a boo-boo better go fix that gotta go to the doctor's office but it was it hurt it hurt because you think that it's not that big of a thing kids will tell you notice yeah well he did um so that i am for reading your mom i still haven't gone to remedy that which is unfortunate but i'm going to um and then my good week is that i got our family photos back and i talked about yeah and i talked about like the day that we shot them

being like a really good day because ford wasn't a dick and it was just very out of character for me to take these photos because we really just did it for christmas presents for our mother-in-laws um and they came back and i it was a combination of the email that the photographer sent um with the photos and the photos themselves i was sobbing oh it was the sweetest email like the coolest she's a mother of four she's just cool you know what i mean yeah but like listen to this email okay your family photos are in all their are your family photos in all their glory the only rule you aren't allowed to open until y'all are curled up together with your music on and drink in hand i hope these mean so much today but i hope they mean more and more

each year ford grows and go off to middle school and college and you can always look back on these and remember what these early days felt like with all the stuffed animals the wrestling the hammock cuddling and him in his happy place at home with y'all. So sweet. I was like, just sobbing because it's so true. Like I'm such a bad document, documentarian. What is the word? Documentarian. Yeah. Archivist is what we call my dad. Yeah. And I, I make fun of people who are so good at it because it, I, I hate being taken out of present moments to do those things. And I hate scheduling things like family photo sessions. It just, to me felt so, I don't know. I don't, I can't explain it. Not on the top of my priority list, but it's so crazy that when you do take the time to do this

and it doesn't have to be all the time. I'm like, I'm never going to have these moments back. Like these are and it's just great because you just justify it and you're like I have a hundred pictures of this child on my phone right but it's so different it's so different it's all of us together Zach hasn't taken a picture of me and Ford since the day Ford was born like it is the craziest men are so stupid bad I like every year on my Instagram it's like you want to ask what should you ask your husband for for christmas a year of taking photos of me with my children like if people get rage and i do too if you look through zach's photos on his phone not one of me with my child sometimes i'll see him sneak one and you know when it is it's like the day before

mother's day shady bitch all right jack what do you got well becky you know what you should do because you are bad at this and you hate doing it but you should do it once a year like you should do it with the same photographer same time a year and just have that be your thing so at least you have one thing a year that's I'm gonna do that because it's the only way it's the only way so cute okay so all right well my good week is okay a couple weeks ago we were talking about like things that we won't do or go to and we were having a whole discussion about new year's eve and how shitty it is and staying up that late and like, oh, I hate it. And one of our Lady Gangers posted in her Facebook group with a great solution to the New Year's Eve problem.

Rachel Den, she said, for Jack and the New Year's Eve dilemma. Last year, we celebrated an Irish New Year's and that we celebrated at 6 p.m. Central Time when it was midnight in Ireland. And I think I'm going to do that this year. That's a great idea. You can decide any time zone you want if you want a British New Year's, an Irish New Year's. an australian new year's so that is what i'm going to be doing this year because i'm not staying up till midnight no that's such a good idea i know it's the look of the irish and then you're like a happy hour new year's you're hammered at 6 p.m because that's like the ball's dropping dead by

eight yes not hung over on new year's day done because it's already out of your system wow i want to do this this is great yeah we should do that this year great um okay so my bad week is a fast one but my first neighbor has seen me in my robe now my robe is really embarrassing it's from barefoot dreams it's a zip-up robe it's maxi length um i don't have any shame wearing it in public but everybody that's with me does like jared always gets a little bit awkward and my parents are like this is embarrassing it just kind of looks like you've escaped some sort of psych ward yes yes yes and i also just had a hysterectomy yes and i also always wear it to jersey mics because i like to take a rinse before i go to it's like a whole my whole process

yeah um and now the jersey mics people are starting my new jersey mics people in mission viejo are starting to like recognize me in the robe they probably think that you wear it every day because they don't realize it's part of a ritual only on mondays yes i know well because you know i think i've talked about it on our podcast about how like the npcs in our life like the non-player characters like the characters that we have and i'm like the simulation i'm somebody's character like i'm somebody's character in their world like i'm the crazy robe wearing monday jersey mike's goer like they're like the girl is so pretty do you think she ever gets out of her robe and then it's like is jared holding me captive and this is like my

one outing it's like are you lacey peterson peeing outside of that van yeah literally nobody will No, but I like to maybe like give some people, don't worry, I won't go into the diatribe. Okay, when we come back. That podcast about, the one that Jack suggested will blow your mind, okay? That's all I have to say. I told you. When we come back, Erin Foster's back on Lady Gang. Now back to the Lady Gang.

Our guest today is a writer, producer, actress, and we all fell in love with her during her VH1 show, Barely Famous. justice for barely famous she's one half of the ultra chic clothing clothing brand favorite daughter and one half of the hilarious podcast the world's first podcast she has a brand new show on netflix called nobody wants this starring kristen bell coming out september 26th and the last time erin appeared appeared on lady gang was nine years ago actually eight years ago i don't know math 2016 one of our most favorite episodes of all time so welcome back to the lady gang the queen, Erin Foster. A lot has changed. So much has changed. Oh my God. I need to like re-listen to that episode. What was happening in our lives in 2016? We were probably all young

and insufferable. That's what I would have to guess. 100% I was insufferable. Well, I still am. I still am, but always. I love it. So you have huge news. The last time you came, I don't think you were married. I don't think you were a mom. No. And I didn't meet Simon until out until 2018. Well, this is incredible. Let's start and talk about the show because first of all, getting a show made in Hollywood at this time in life is impossible. The fact that you have a show on Netflix that is actually good and starring radical people is next level. So what are you feeling right now besides like fear, excitement, and a little bit of diarrhea? Yes. All of those things um my producing partner ollie says to me success feels like you're being beaten to death

with your dreams and i feel like it's really accurate portrayal oh my god because it's like it's just it's hard it's not like oh it's just easy breezy and everyone's getting along and everything's perfect it's like you know you're constantly making compromises and sacrifices And it's hard and it's amazing. And I just like, I'm trying to, I really and truly try to enjoy like things as they come, whether they're succeeding or failing, because I'm a strong believer that like, if you can't accept the reality of your situation, then you're really setting yourself up to be unhappy. so I try to accept the reality of things whether it be good or bad and right now things are good but like I'm sure I could find a reddit thread that would like ruin my day oh always we all can yeah someone actually I like open my dms I say that because I opened my dms yesterday some girl was like don't worry I defended you with all the things that they're saying on reddit

and I was like what what are they saying I love how it's so vague too that you're like well now i gotta go look i gotta go did you go look i almost went and looked and then i was like why would i like search for something that's gonna make me feel like shit so i was like no i'm gonna do a press day with people telling me how much they like me not gonna go on reddit and find out people that hate me you're a stronger woman than us stronger woman than us i wanna our lady gang actually does love the sort of behind the scenes of hollywood and a few years ago i had made a show on CBS that bombed um but I took everyone for the five years it took me to get it on the air like along for the journey the ups and downs and people were like whoa I didn't realize it was like

so insane so I want to know a little bit of backstory on um nobody wants this like when did you write it when did you submit it were there times where it was like happening not happening and then like can you can you really take us inside baseball to like how do you get a show made? Yes. I'll try not to go too far in the weeds and make it boring, but basically I had an overall deal at 20th, which is Disney now. And part of that deal is that you are writing things for them. And so you have to figure out what you're going to write about. And when I met Simon, I had just finished a pilot called Daddy Issues that I shot that never got made. And so I was fresh off a failure. And when we met, I wasn't actually writing anything else because I didn't

know what the next thing was. So then we meet and then I'm like happy. And I completely don't know what to write about because I don't know what's funny about my given situation that I'm in. And I don't know what's funny about my like relationship. And I had always written something that was inspired by what I was going through in my life. And it was always this sort of like cynical view on relationships and love. And it was always a character who was self-destructive and self-sabotaging and not a believer. And that was what was working for me. And so when I met Simon and kind of settled into this healthy adult relationship, I was just like, what's funny about this? I don't really know what to write about. So I didn't write for like three years. Like I was

was not writing. And there was a point where my producing partner, Ollie called me and he was like, what are you doing with your life? I'm confused. Like, I don't know why you're not doing the thing you're supposed to be doing. And I was like, how dare you? I hate you. And you're right. And, um, and so I was in the process of converting to Judaism and Ollie and I came up with this plan. Like if this would be an interesting show idea and then basically sold the idea to 20th. And then I told Simon who had been my boyfriend for like two years and never seen me, you know, writing, um, Oh, I sold this show about you and I meeting and our families and like them not liking me and blah, blah. And he was like, I'm sorry, you did

what? You can't write about me and you can't write about my family. And like, that's not okay with me. And so then I started panicking and I was like, okay, I'm just, I did sell the show though. So I need to figure out what to do now because now I'm about to marry like, you know, my perfect person and it completely coincides with my work life. And I really basically wanted the show to go away. Really? I was just like, please. I mean, that's the irony, right? Like every show you are desperate to have go, doesn't go. And then I was like, I just could not get rid of this show. I couldn't get rid of it. I was like, please just be done with me. Like, I don't want to do this. it's going to get me divorced. And so, uh, COVID happened, which I use as a really good excuse to

like not be writing, even though we all know I had nothing with time to write. Uh, and there was a point where 20th was like, you got to give us pages. You got to turn this in. Like, where are you? What are you doing? And I talked to Simon and he was like, honestly, you just got to call my parents and tell them that you're doing this. you just have to tell them because i'm like i don't know what they're gonna do and so i called his dad and i was like i just want to be honest with you i sold this show there's an idea this concept of the show is blah blah blah blah blah and he goes okay i'm okay with you doing this just don't make us look poor

oh okay that's easy that's so easy and he's like great like I don't want to be let's just seem like poor immigrants I was like okay cool oh my god and he was like fully on the on board and then Simon was like okay if my parents don't care then I don't care and then I was like okay now I can actually do this and relax and so it was really stressful for a while and I really was trying to make it go away. And, and then, um, and then essentially I wrote the pilot and then we took out the pilot and we went to, um, Hulu and to, I think FX and Apple. Um, and they all passed and Netflix was our last pitch. Oh, wow. Yeah. And I was like positive they weren't going to pick it up early. They weren't going to buy it. Um, and I honestly was kind of relieved. I was

like, this has been a really rough three years. I just need to write out something that has nothing to do with my life now that I'm like a married person and I'm responsible for two people instead of one. So please just pass on it so I can move on with my life. And obviously they, they bought it. And, and so here we are, we did it. And then it all worked out. It all, it was just like all the anxiety was up front you know have your husband's parents watched it like what are their thoughts they haven't seen it although my mother-in-law i put like a little easter egg of her in um she's in like the opening temple scene sitting next to the woman that's playing her oh that's cool she was really excited i mean listen the truth is they're like obviously you

guys all know um for tv you always have to just create like built-in conflict and so the parents have to like hate joanne but the truth is parents love me i'm lovable i converted to judaism it's like the ultimate way to get your in-laws to love you um and so they're excited and they're having like a viewing party with all their friends which is really cute oh that's cute wow and also it's so we've seen the trailer and then i have some friends who actually work at netflix who have seen the show and it is unanimous this is a hit so it's just so wild that the one thing because it's also like one thing to get like a show on for a season and have a few people watch it and then it kind of disappears into nowhere like this show is sticking around it seems and it's just isn't it ironic that

this is the one thing you weren't fighting for it's just the lesson in life yeah it really is I kind of think anything that gives you a really strong reaction, it's like something, there's something there, you know, it's a negative reaction. I think it means that there's something like sticky to it. Yeah. Well, and I'm so sick of not seeing romantic comedies outside of Hallmark.

Like it's just such a bummer that, I mean, no shade to Hallmark, but for so many years we have been deprived of like great funny love stories and we've turned to hallmark where it's like that might be somebody's bag but this is just what every millennial woman is so ready to see and it's annoying that it's taken this long to have something like this get made i agree you think rom-coms are having a big like renaissance right now huge huge your timing is magical and I think it's like duh it's like all these networks nobody asked us they were sitting in a room and they were like what do the women want and they're like Godzilla and I was like no another Marvel movie hot love stories that they can masturbate to

later on in their own time that's why you just need women making tv thank you aaron foster because we know what we want yes i think like when i was writing the adam brody character i was like you know what so many men have written female characters the way that they wish women were mm-hmm um so i'm gonna write a guy character that's who we want to see on tv you don't want to see the like toxic asshole that like sees you as a friend and then you like do the right thing and then he sees you in a romantic way and you like finally get chosen by him because that's like the relationship we repeat over and over again in our 20s and we don't need that and we don't need to be reminded of it we don't need to tell the next generation of girls that

that's like what love looks like it shouldn't be this like toxic thing that like fills you up and like ruins your life but like you get chosen you know because it's just a bad message to send so i i like the idea of giving women the like crushable feeling that you really want to have with a guy who's a good guy and like the guy like the guy you should end up with can also be really crushable and exciting. Yeah. Now the ultimate flex of Hollywood is when you cast Kristen Bell as yourself. Did you just like a send her a text and you're like, Hey, um, I have this thing or did it like, was there a list of errands or like, how does that work? Cause it's like, I'm going to get the most popular hot girl and be like, you're me. Well, the top of my list

to play myself was me um and they wouldn't let you well so i sold the idea for me to start it oh um and then when we sold it to netflix they were like that is adorable i love that for you love that for you we love that for you maybe on a smaller network um but we are netflix and we would like to have a hit and so we we think we could do better basically like cool honestly do better like i actually would love for you to do better because the truth is that by the time we really properly sold the show and we were going to cast the show and everything i was knocking on 40s door and i was like i don't need to be in a hair and makeup trailer at 5 a.m that's not where i'm at i'm not there i am trying to get pregnant i want to be a

mom. And if you can put an A-list star in this role and make this a hit, like, thank you. That's the dream. You're actually doing me a huge service by letting me get out of my own way and put someone like Kristen in the role and then let me go be a mom. And then I literally got pregnant while we were on, I mean, got casually got pregnant after six years of trying and 20 rounds of IVF, but it worked finally, um, on the writer's strike when we were halfway through the writer's room. So came back from the writer's strike three months pregnant and was pregnant throughout the whole process. And it was just perfect. Wow. That's actually crazy. Um, and I'm sorry not to make this about me, but since I always make it about me, um, I love that your ego, like that's

just, you're a better person because I had a similar situation with my show where I was like, I wrote I made the show for me to host it because I couldn't get a hosting job and the network was like yeah we don't really want you to host it and then I like forced my way into co-hosting it and they got like a man of course um to host it and I could be like the cute girl on the side but there was actually no reason for me to be there and so like I felt really stupid the whole time I was filming and then like they had me on the side stage and then in edits it was like well we have to keep Kelty in the show because it's her show and like but like I was there was no reason for me to be there. And it actually, I think ruined the show in the end. And so, but I just couldn't

get out of my own way. So I love that, like your story of being like, okay, you know what? I made this for me. Cause you want, like, you can't, it's so difficult to get a job in Hollywood unless you create it yourself. Um, but then the fact that you were able to step aside, I guess if someone was like, Hey, we're going to have Kristen Bell be you, I would have probably been like excited about it, but well, let me be very clear. I didn't have a choice, right? So first and foremost, the choice was made for me. I did not step aside. I was, I was politely asked to step aside, but I also do think that, you know, sometimes when we let our ego get in the way, we're thinking so much smaller. Like we're thinking like, Ooh, I want to be on camera. No, no, no. Take a step

back and think bigger. You're either going to not have a show or you're going to have 10 episodes of a show on Netflix starring Kristen Bell. There's no question, right? If I wanted to write myself into the show, I could write myself into the show. Like you, you, you, you give yourself more power when you step back and you let the process unfold the way that, that it's meant to. and so I um you know it's not that I'm like such a good person I I had no choice had like an opportunity or not an opportunity but also like as a woman in the entertainment industry you now have a responsibility to create again something like to continue to create this kind of content and if you had put yourself as starring in it like Mindy Kaling talks about it all the time

how hard that was starring show running creating her show and it's like you now have a bigger footprint in Hollywood and you will because you are gonna just we're gonna all force you to continue to do this good I mean the truth is you know if I'm being honest with myself I don't want to be an actress like that's just not where my passion lies I I think that um I wanted to be an actress in my twenties. Cause I had some idea of what that was going to feel like. But the truth is that whenever I got acting jobs, I didn't really feel like I was good at it. And I didn't really feel like I was living up to my potential. And so I'm much happier, you know, not because I'm some humble person. I want to be like off screen. I'm much happier as an, as a writer,

because it plays much more to my skillset. And, and I don't want to be in a job where that makes me feel old and like ugly and useless and fat like I don't want that job I don't I want a job that makes me feel like oh my god you're like the prettiest writer I've ever met like it I don't I don't want to live that life I think it's it's and also when I watched Kristen as an actress I saw what a real actress is like and it's not me like and I don't even mean that in a humble way. Like I did not ever approach something with the type of thoughtfulness and like preparedness that she did. And it made me realize how like not an actress I am. That makes sense. It makes a ton of sense.

You're listening to the lady gang. I want to know about your daily life. So Becca had a clip go extremely viral off this podcast when she was talking about the fact that she is a nanny. And people were like, Oh my God, finally, because we, Becca, you can kind of explain the clip, but I want to know who's on Aaron's team. Like I'm watching you. I see your assistant making funny tech talks of you when you're like doing fittings for the clothing line. And then I know you guys expanded to fragrance. And then I know you have this on your plate and you're also a mom. And like, um, you, you know, you guys have your podcast. Like I want to know about the team, but Becca, can you talk about this? Like shame of like, you're not allowed to have help.

well I don't know how you felt when you became a mom but when I became a mom I felt like I couldn't admit to having a nanny from literally the moment my child was born but then I also felt like such a fraud by not acknowledging that I had a nanny because I was just so worried that people were going to come after me for like the privilege that it is to have a nanny and then I got a really nasty comment made on the clip that went viral from a woman who was like, you know, in the clip, I was justifying it by saying, I wouldn't be able to work if I didn't have a nanny because I don't have family here. My husband doesn't have family here. It's we have to pay somebody to watch our kid or I can't work. And this woman was like, I have four kids and I work and we don't have a

nanny. Like if I can do it, you can do it. And I was just like, I can't win because with the amount of women that were like, thank you so much. I follow these influencers who never show the nanny yet they're flying private all over the world. And yet we never see a woman step in and hold your baby. So you're hiding that from us. So it's this tightrope that I've been on. And now I'm like, I have a nanny and I don't really, I'm not really ashamed anymore. And I try to ignore those other comments. But did you feel like that when your daughter was born? I did definitely feel that way. we had a baby nurse starting, um, two weeks after she was born. She came two weeks early. So our baby nurse was like, I'm not available. I live in New York. So I had, I had, um,

wondered if I shouldn't get a baby nurse at all, because I was like doing this all natural. I did a home birth. I was like embarking on things in a different way. And I was like, maybe I want to co-sleep. Maybe I want to sleep with my baby on my boob and like be like a hippie and everything. Anyway, a lot of moms were like, you're not going to want to do that. And they were right. So I have a daughter and I think that really what happens, I mean, I guess it's, maybe it's different for everyone, but for me, what happened when I got help was that you learn a lot from this person, right? Like you, there is not this like maternal instinct that kicks in where, you know, when you're supposed to breastfeed or when you're supposed to pump or when they should wake up or if it's, is that cry because she has gas, if she has gas, what do I do about it? Like there's so many questions and it's so overwhelming that for me, it felt like a godsend

to have someone there that made you feel like your baby's not going to die and that you're not doing a terrible job and it's just overwhelming. And so you like, it's the job of 10 people being a new mom. and, um, so we had a baby nurse, our baby nurse, like was just phenomenal. She finished two days ago and it has been really hard. Cause I was going to say, and she was like, your baby sleeps through the night. She sleeps seven to seven. You have a perfect baby. You're the luckiest people on earth. God enjoy. She lied to us. Okay. Because our baby does not sleep through the night because i've been with her for two nights now and she most certainly wakes up and simon and i are

like what do we do i don't know what to do last night i put this chick on my boob at 4 30 in the morning because she was crying and simon was like well now she's gonna think she should eat in the night and i was like well that's not gonna work and then and it's like i don't even know what i'm doing but like joy seemed to have all the answers and she took them all with her she didn't tell me any of her tricks. And so we have, we have a nanny who just started literally the day before yesterday. I'm doing a press junket in here all day long. I met my baby yesterday and for the first time ever. And so when I hear her crying in the other room and like my boobs are pulsing and I'm in an interview and I don't know what to do. No, it's a shit show. Yeah. Can you also

So your post about your reason for having a home birth, I mean, there are many, but like specifically to your fertility journey, I thought that was really, well, it was very honest and it resonated a lot. I had a four year fertility journey. I didn't end up carrying my baby, but when you described why you chose to have your delivery be like this, I was like, that makes so much sense. And I feel like this would resonate for so many women who are currently in the fertility hell. Yeah. Thank you. Um, yeah, I, I don't know. It was like a weird thing. Like, I think, you know, unfortunately IVF is a really big topic because so many women are experiencing it. And, and I do think that that's a negative in the sense that so many of us need so much help getting pregnant. Um, and there's a lot of different reasons. I think that that, that that's happening, but, uh, but it's

really hard and there's no way to do it without Western medicine. You know, you can, I mean, you can do holistic things, but you cannot create embryos and all that you have to do medication. you have to go to you know um get put under and the whole thing so so much of it was just out of my control and really all of it and it there's all these like fake wins you know when you tell your friends like oh i'm going in for checkup today to see how many follicles i have and then they're like what happened i'm like oh my god there's like six growing together it's like oh my god let's celebrate i'm like no no no there's nothing hold on that's just one little part of piece of the puzzle. And then two days later, it's like, how'd the doctor go? One jumped ahead.

So we have to skip this month. And it's like, you're back down. Okay. Now you're starting over again. You start to want to share less and less with people because very few people know what the experience is like. Very few people know the right thing to say. They typically say the wrong thing. I don't want you to tell me it's all going to work out. You have no idea if it'll work out or not. I don't want you to tell me just adopt a baby. Just stop thinking about it. If you tell want to stop thinking about it i'll actually oh my god if you tell me to go on vacation and have margaritas with my husband i'm gonna punch you in the face truly i will punch you in the face because what you're saying is that there's something i'm doing that's stopping it from

happening like it's you if you were more relaxed you would get pregnant if you stopped thinking about it so much you get you're stopping it from happening because you want it so badly and that is a really up thing to say to someone who's 38 years old and wants to start a family it's just shitty and so that whole process was so like frustrating and you you grow so much from it because you have no choice and so by the time I finally was pregnant and I was gonna give birth I was not trying to make it as hard as possible I was just like, I want to experience it and I want to feel every part of it. And all the research that I had done was telling me that, you know, when you, when you cut

off the pain, you also cut off all of the hormonal connections between you and your baby. So like when you're in labor, your baby is sending signals to you and you're sending signals to the baby and you're flooded with love hormones so that you can survive this thing and not like hate your baby. and when you block yourself from the pain you do block yourself from those love hormones and so many women who feel so ashamed their baby is placed on their chest and they feel nothing for them it's because you're on so many drugs i'm a fan of drugs i nothing i love more than getting

put on propofol to go oh my god that's my favorite literally all i want is surgery was necessary surgery for propofol i will make up a reason to get surgery just saying okay I'm a fan of drugs. I love them. But I do think in this situation, you do create other problems for yourself when you solve the pain problem because it can be really depressing. There's just a natural process your body is meant to go through. When you block that process like anything else, it shows up somewhere else. I just didn't want that to happen. I didn't know what I was signing up for it's really really really painful you guys like do you remember it do you do you remember it or do you just have like flashes like a drunken night or like what is the memory like

kind of like a drunken night or it's like it honestly felt to me like when you've taken drugs like mushrooms or something and you realize you took too much and you don't like the high you're on and you know you're going to be on it for eight hours and it keeps getting worse and like you keep thinking if i just change my environment it's going to get better but it just like gets worse oh god that's what it was like for me like i kept being like if i get in my shower it's going to be better and then i get in there and it'd be better for five minutes i'm like thank you so much i want to kill myself okay i think i'm gonna get in a different i hate that now i want to stand in the kitchen okay now i want to lay upside down like

like something needs to make this better and just nothing would make it better until the baby comes out so jack home birth right no i'm like are you pregnant right now no no no no we're gonna try like next year but like this is terrifying me i'm sitting here like horrified thanks for coming i'm sorry i'm like you know what i'm like because i didn't carry my son and i didn't deliver my son i'm like one of those sober people i know a girl in la who's sober because she had a cocaine addiction but she actually never drank and so anytime i would have a drink around her she's like obviously i can't start drinking now i'm sober she's like tell me what it's like tell me what a hangover is like please describe to me exactly like that's what i'm like when i'm around

a woman who's had a baby it's embarrassing i get it but i do think it's one of those things that's like the insanity of it, of how like painful and scary and all those things is what makes it such a cool experience. It's like, you're never going to experience something like that. It's like someone being like, you just have to do ayahuasca. It's going to fucking think you're going to die, but then come out the other side and be like, I'm a changed person. It's like, I've never done ayahuasca, but I imagine that birth is sort of similar to that. So, um, damn great. Call me if you want to do a home birth. Okay. I don't think I do. she's like i'll take the two days of depression where i want to throw my baby out i'll take zero

connection with my baby it's fine pick your poison you know yeah well listen erin we're such fans of you and have been for an entire decade um and we're so happy for you love this era for you guys uh the show is out on netflix by the time if you're listening to this your next click is on to netflix to listen to it comes out september 26 nobody wants to watch it to watch it um september 26 nobody wants this it's it's so freaking good and um we're just so happy for you and way to keep the female boss bitch slash we want to do less but we're still going to keep doing more vibe going in hollywood i'm just trying to be like a stay-at-home trad wife but my husband won't let me you shit the bed with this one then yeah you're gonna be busy babe

gonna be gonna be you're gonna be writing a season two you're like it's gonna be on yeah yeah sorry being beaten to death with my dreams again yeah you can make apple pie when you're 80 okay literally i'm a i wrote that down in my bujo as you were saying it because i was like i need to make a poster for my office it's like i'm being beaten to death with my dreams i feel that's so deeply in my soul um also thanks for the favorite daughter clothes like they're so cute and everything i got the little pinstriped um like shirt the like vest that was had no top it's like a tube top with the pinstripe pants i wore it on e-news and the pants are so good for long legs i love all the pants they're the best they fit perfectly to make clothes for only tall skinny

people because they are underrepresented don't even get me started we're gonna pitch you let me pitch you no actually your sister your other sister's shorter so you guys do you do like show I do appreciate that but I've been pitching my short models on e-commerce for a really long time advocating mostly like it's my it's my activism we're just getting girls um five four girls need to be represented too yeah Sabrina Carpenter you know five feet okay girl okay congratulations go hug your baby. Go, go, go loosen those breasts and have your next interview. No, I meant like, you know, I don't know anything about babes. I don't even have a uterus. Okay. Disgusting. Release the milk. Release the milk, Erin, and release the show. Netflix. Thanks, Erin. We will.

See you next Tuesday. See you next Tuesday. Thank you so much for listening. The Lady Gang is produced by Steve Delameter, Stacey Pera, Jared Monaco, and social support from Amy Ryerson. It really means the world to us when you show up in our community outside the podcast. So sign up for our secret Facebook group. Just search The Lady Gang under groups. Follow us on Instagram and TikTok at The Lady Gang. And the most important thing you can do is share this episode with a friend. We would love that so much.

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