LadyGang - Our Listeners' Worst Dates of All Time, Judged by Serena Kerrigan

Episode Date: August 25, 2026

Serena Kerrigan, creator of Let's F*cking Date and the queen of "do it for the plot", on why you're the prize, why a crush is just lack of information, and her Three P Theory: every date is Potential, Practice, or Plot. Plus the LadyGang community's worst dates ever, including a man who brought his kids.We have fall deals for YOU!!Dose: Ready to give your liver the support it deserves? Head to dosedaily.co/lady or enter LADY for 35% off your first subscription!Talkiatry: Looking for an in‑network psychiatrist? Head to Talkiatry.com/lady to complete the short assessment and get matched.Merit Beauty: Get your Signature Makeup Bag FREE with your first order at MeritBeauty.comAmazon Music: Get your music, podcasts, and audiobooks ALL IN ONE APP! Subscribe to Amazon Music today!Progressive: Visit Progressive.com and see if you can enjoy a little extra cash back.Clean Simple Eats: Shop the best tasting protein powders at CleanSimpleEats.comSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Lady gang, it's Kelty. I would love to see you on my book tour this fall. It's going to be a really cool, intimate chat. I'm going to do celebrity moderators, music in some cities. I'm going to do a little self-help talk, and then we're going to do a personal emotive writing session. I just think it's going to be really special. If you've come to a lady gang show before, it's probably going to be a little less chaotic, a little more like getting yourself together before the new year. Tickets are 35 bucks, and they include a signed copy of my new book, The FM Theory. I'm hitting Atlanta, Washington, Boston, Philadelphia, Chicago, New York City, Toronto, Canada, Seattle, San Francisco, Los Angeles, Austin, and Dallas. And I would love to see you. Tickets are available now

at fmbook.com. It's 35 bucks. Come out and see me for the night. It would really mean a lot to me to see some of my Lady Gang girls there. fmbook.com and I'll see you there, Lady Gang. Well, what is this? Welcome to the Lady Gang. That's amazing. Say that again. The Lady Gang. Things are about to change around here. Each week, we catch up with Hollywood's hottest girl posse, Kelty Knight, Becca Tobin, and Jack Vanek. Hello, hello, hello. Welcome to the Lady Gang Podcast. It's me.

It's Kelty. Oh. Jack's here too. It's Jack and Kelty. obviously it's a mess again. So that means Becca is still taking care of little Bebe Meyer and Ford all by herself. So it's just us, I guess. I want to, because Becca's missing, I thought I came up with this idea of like having the Lady Gang community fill in for her. And so I brought a message. It was an Ask the Lady Gang message that someone sent in, but I just want to open

this episode with this. Okay. And get our advice before we go into good week, bad week. So this is from Shelby. She's from Florida. So if you see her, give her her hug. She said, Hey, gals. At the ripe age of 34, my butthole will no longer tolerate a thong. The transition came without warning and has been traumatic. What the am I supposed to do? Am I doomed to a life of wearing granny panties with my apple bottom jeans appreciate your advice I feel like I need to know more info what do you mean your butthole can't tolerate a thong maybe it's like a fabric maybe we need some 100 cotton thongs does it seem like an allergic reaction is it what are those things that Becca gets hemorrhoids hemorrhoids maybe some maybe something is really I don't know

that I I don't know what I would do I'm so beholden to the thong in the day I wear a full I wear a grainy panty to sleep at night sure because how could you not but in the day I don't but some people some people just like love a full-sized underwear and are totally fine with it well I'm like honestly not wearing underwear anymore am I wearing any now you never wore underwear no I know um I just don't I'm not into underwear what happens when the snail trill comes out. I don't have much of a snail trail anymore, to be honest. Yeah. Yeah. Once the hormones start drying up, you're just like... Girl, it's just dry up there, you know? Well, that's nice. Okay, I could do that. But it's like there's always something coming out of women's vaginas usually

at every point of the month that it's like going commando is very hard. Sometimes... Listen, I'm not going to say that I haven't been in open pose and in Pilates and looked down and been like should have worn underwear. Like, I mean, I'm a mess as a human for sure. I'm sorry. Sorry to Jennifer, my Pilates instructor. But I'm going to tell you something and this maybe Shelby will help you. I was a long time hanky panky girl. Long time. Me too. But they're not comfortable. It's not as soft as you think it is. And I'm going to tell you the two thongs that will change your life Shelby if you can go back is commando the commando super thin I used to I had a couple pairs of them that I wore only at work or on red carpets because they lay so flat it's like a

microfiber almost so so so thin very comfortable the skims skims are so soft they are like a beautiful carriage for your vulva mine the only underwear that i wear still to this day are victoria's secret victoria's secret like the five for 25 they still hit so hard jack they're so crunchy no they're not they're so soft and stretchy they are yes and it like you said for the perfect carriage it like sucks you all in like sometimes you know you get underwear and they're kind of like floppy like around your vagina and it's just like it always moves no victoria's secret the pink ones you don't have to go like all expensive it's like the five for 25 five for 25 unless they have you know shrinkflation and they've raised the prices but like

they fit one for 25 five for 500 which is where we're heading now um me yeah you got to try out some different you know what i mean we've said this a million times but like the best thing to do when you're feeling down and low, clean out your underwear drawer. Throw all the old underwear away. It's time for a refresh. Like maybe you're just wearing the wrong ones or they're old and they're stretched out and gross and falling apart. Yes. And I also will say, hold on, I want to look it up. There's a brand. They sent me a bra. Did you get it? It's called EB. No. E-B-Y. It's a underwear brand and they make a, they make a sports bra. They make a bra. It's like a shelf bra, like a under bra. And it is so soft. I'm looking for the brand here. It's called EB.

It's like a bra, a panty and a thong. And it comes in all these cute colors and you can wear them. I'll show you. See? Oh, cute. But the, the, what's cool about the bra, all of the fabric that's around like your body that's touching your body is like a velvet stretch velvet something it's so nice i really love them anyway okay nobody's asking um okay it's time for good week yes it is bad week oh no tell me something horrible that happened to you okay so um i don't think that i have talked about this before but you know how my brain it's like who nobody knows what's gone in and out of this brain before um did i tell you about my poshmark fiasco No, I told you about when I went on Poshmark

and accidentally sent my Poshmark to the producer of the Today Show. Okay, so when I moved down to Orange County, so we had this amazing girl. Her name is Christy up in LA that I've known forever since I was like 18. But she took on all of my Poshmark and she was selling it.

She was amazing. She lives up in Pasadena. So when I moved down to Orange County, I'm like, I got to find a new girl. So I found this new girl through Instagram and she came over, she got my clothes. she sold some she paid me she got some more and then she completely ghosted me she ghosted me she probably has like five thousand dollars worth of my clothes

and I have reached out to her probably 10 times and she does not exist so I got totally by my Poshmark girl yeah yeah I met her in real life like it's not like it was like you Right. Because you posted this on your Instagram being like, hey, I need a Poshmark girl. Yeah. She came to my house, got my clothes. She knows where you live. Yeah. So that's my bad week. This happened like a couple, like a while ago. But Jack, the new Poshmark is so easy. Why are you not Poshmarking yourself? I don't want my stuff in my house. For me, it's just like I'm handing the problem over.

Yeah. And I don't mind splitting costs, like whatever it is. Anyways, that's my bad week is, you know, I had some like, I had the dress I wore to Alexis's wedding in there, like a retrofit feat or whatever that is. Like, whatever, it's gone. I guess I'll just call it a loss.

Anyways, I posted again recently because I'm like a new Poshmark girl. I have a lot of stuff in my car. Shut up, you're going back? I mean, it's time to just give up. No, I found the best girl. She's amazing. She's down in San Diego.

She's already sold so much of my clothes And I wanted to share her store because if anybody wants to shop my closet, it's Thread and Soul, like T-H-R-E-A-D-A-N-D-S-O-L-E on Poshmark. She sells a bunch of other people's stuff too, like has the best stuff that just like if you're looking for like a night, like a cute, you know, mid range, whatever, she has it. So that's where my stuff lives now. I guess I should probably search for my other stuff on Poshmark and see if it's getting

sold and I'm just not getting the money. but that's where I am isn't that crazy yep true scam you know we always you got to get scammed every now and then it's it it reminds you that you well I will talk about my my scam it's not a scam I think sometimes we forget and Chris said this to me he's like you forget that you're like perceived. Like we, we know, you know, we do this podcast, we're talking about buttholes and bras and like, you know, crime and life and whatever. And like, I just feel like I'm talking to my friends and I assume that anyone that would be following me, reading my sub stack, listening to the podcast, they're like, I don't know why, because I like to hate watch stuff. So I just

assume that everyone that's watching is like on our team you know what I mean like I'm like oh no one's like hate watching my Instagram and then sending my post to their friend being like this girl's out of her mind but like we do that all the time so like there's there's no way they're not so are you gonna talk about the can you tell me what you found on Reddit yes this is what I'm gonna tell you okay so um so yeah so I guess this is a this is a bad week so I um I I for everyone and I'm sure you already know this, but I was trying to figure out how to do pre-orders for my book. Like what is the bonus? And normally people are like, have a sticker pack. And I was like, you can have a sticker pack anyway. Like I want to do something. So I started this collective

where I've been like life coaching people and we do weekly emails and then we do monthly zooms. And then like, now I've fallen in love with all these kids. Like I literally got one of them a job at E like now I'm like obsessed with everyone. Like I'm, I'm going way too overboard. And what has happened is that everyone now, well, not everyone, but multiple people, probably 25 people out of my 1500 people are like, Hey, can I come to LA and take you to coffee? Like, this has been really great. I love the zooms. I've implemented some of this, but I now I want you as a real coach. And I was like, I want to say yes to everyone, but I'm also trying to like have boundaries in my life. And like, what is my time worth? And so I made this thing that other people

do this all the time, by the way, other like guru authors where you do like a 10 book deal. So if you want me to come talk at your book club or you want half an hour with me or a Zoom, a private Zoom, you buy 10 books. I don't care what you do with the 10 books. You can put them on your bookshelf. You can give them to your book club. You can donate them to the Goodwill. I don't care. But it ends up being about $300. And I was like, yeah, that's like a good amount of money. Like what is an hour of work worth to me to do this kind of work? Well, like it's $600. I'm sorry. I'm 44 years old. I have three Emmys. I have seven jobs. Like that is what my time is worth. Like when I was 24, my time was worth $25 an hour. Like, I'm sorry. That is what my,

what it makes sense for me to not be a Pilates and to be talking and using my brain power on you. And that's fine. By the way, that's part of my book, which is I get to decide what my time is worth. So you don't like, you can think it's too much or not enough. Some people have master class is a mad offense. It's like $10,000. Like go yourself, you know? Yeah. Anyway. So I basically announced this on the sub stack of the K type collective. I was like, Hey, you know, here's your homework for this week, by the way, I launched this thing. So for all of you asking, like, this is how it's going to be. And you know, if it's been six months of the K type collective, if you guys could help me out, share the book with people, if this has been helpful to you, like just kind of

using the community as a way, like that's also extremely normal. So fast forward, I'm on a call with my book team, my entire publishing team, like 15 people. And we're all talking and I'm like, this is what we're doing, going on tour, blah, blah, blah. And then someone, everyone gets quiet. Oh no. And one woman goes, what are we going to do about the Reddit? And I'm like, oh no, what do you mean the Reddit? I don't go on Reddit. I took it off my phone. I got into a place where I was like shit talking people on Reddit so much like as a form of therapy for myself last year. Wait like you were like in the comments? I have a secret Reddit. Oh my god. And I would go on people I hate in Hollywood and I would like I would say mean things about them

like I was really shitty. I was in a dark place and I was like this is not a good use of my time also speaking of time. So I got rid of Reddit. So I went on the Reddit and there is a Reddit called Lady Gang Snark. Do not look at it. I know you're going to anyway but no I look at it. No I would never it would ruin my life basically it's like people being like no one listens anymore why are their faces so up so anyway someone commented first of all like that and I said this in a little later in Serena's episode like someone was like I was wondering what the was going on with Kelty's hair I was hoping she had a sickness that made her hair fall out I was like no bitch it's a bad haircut and bad hair color and I have to live with it until one more

month until I can get it fixed because I don't want it to fall out anyway so then there's this whole thread about my book cult. And it's, it's someone, someone bought my book, got into the K-Type Collective and then started screenshotting all of the homework, all of my weekly posts, which are very heartfelt because I was like, this is behind a paywall. This is like safe. Like no one's going to, it's not free. You know what I mean? You have to do something. And so I'm like, oh my God, like I'm so disappointed myself on the Today Show or like, this is great. Or like, here's a story of rejection or here's a chapter from the book, like all of these things. and they screenshotted them. And then they're like, who does this bitch think she is?

She's starting a cult. Does she really think she's worth $300, 10 bucks? And now she's asking the people in the thing to promote for her. So she's basically just using them. I was so embarrassed. And I was like on this call with all the publishers and I was like, and then I had to sit back. Like I was embarrassed. First of all, did you like find out about what this reddit was on the call in front of people oh my god yeah and i was like wait what do you mean the reddit and then the girl like brings it up on a screen share and we're all collectively reading it together oh my god and i'm like oh and she's like do you care like basically they were trying to produce protect me and she basically was like i have had other clients we can get this taken down

you know and then i i had the choice there like where i was sitting there and i thought should i get it taken down or no what would fem kelty do fem kelty would be inspired by this like i would instead of pretending it doesn't exist i'm going to use this this rejection this shittiness this person who's infiltrated my private community which is filled with people who really are so inspiring so cool like we have such a cool little group it's like when we used to get like a bad egg in the lady gang community that just came and tore shit up and you're just like listen we're just trying to figure out our lives like this is not this serious you know and i just was like no i'm gonna use this as so i wrote like a whole in the k-type community and hater hope you see it

but i basically was like there's two kinds of hate right there's like reddit hate where it's like a stranger i don't know you or like someone in the sphere is like your face is ugly you look like blah blah blah like that's a kind of hurt that really hurts but the hurt that like when the call comes from inside the house you know what I mean like when it's like people at your work or people in your friend group or people like if someone in the mail club all of a sudden posted and was like the mail club sucks you would be like shit like you're one of my people you know yeah or if it's a member of your family like you know when the aunt or your mom or your sister is mean to you like when jack and you are when becca and you are mad at me like it hurts more than like

a stranger on the internet so i'm using that as a plot point to discuss how we deal with rejection and hurt from people that are close to us or people that we care about their opinion but you know that person is not somebody that's close to you that's somebody that literally number one i should take you should take it as like a sign of success that somebody cared so much to infiltrate your group to take all of the time to screenshot all of those things and make a Reddit post about you. Because like you said, if our Lady Gang subreddit is all about how like has-beens we've been, that's not a has-been. That's something that's happening actively that they think that you have a cult. So I would take that as like a compliment. Thank you. And I don't think it's

somebody that's like a fan of yours. I think it's somebody that's just like an asshole. Yeah. I'm And I have to be like, thanks for your $35. Like, thank you for your book purchase. Yeah, thanks for the book. It means a lot to me. You know what I mean? One step closer. Yeah, one step closer.

Like, I don't know. It's just very crazy. And also, ever since I went to the Warped Tour a few weeks ago, the Ryan Ross fandom on my TikTok is out of control. Every time I post a TikTok. Well, I did see you posted a TikTok with a Panic at the Disco song. I know, but it's a trend. Is it? Yeah, it's a huge trend.

has like it is yeah anyway but then I was also like you know what I I don't know I don't know what I'm doing with my life but anyway you gotta give the people what they want feed them feed them little crumbs you know yeah okay anyway um uh my good week is that okay that was my bad week oh my good week is that I got cat called um I was recently up in Canada where I am a Canadian 11 in LA for even with this haircut I got really I'm standing on the side of the street in my athletic wear and a truck pulls up and he goes hey how you doing and that well not like that he was like hey how you doing it was two guys in a truck they rolled down their window and they go what's your name and I just looked at my phone and ignored them just like I used to in my 20s

oh she's really made it I know so proud thank you so much to whoever cat called me I've never felt so good for like 20 years. I think I'd be very scared to be catcalled these days because I'd be like, are you going to kidnap me now? Well, in L.A., yeah. But in Canada, they were just like on their way to get a poutine. You know what I mean? OK, when we come back, Serena Kerrigan is here and I'm obsessed with her. So full disclosure, she here's the thing. I thought we were the same like for all these years. I've been like, oh, me and Serena Kerrigan, just like killing advice on the Internet, you know. And then I met her in real life because my one of my best friends, Marcella is a stepmom to three kids, three old kids because her husband's older. And Serena

Kerrigan is best friends with one of the older kids. So then I met at the wedding and I was like, wait, we're not the same. I was like, you're the children's age, but she's not. She's like 30s, but she's so cool. She has great style. And the book is amazing. Like the book is so good. And I'm so glad she's here. Let's chat all about it when we come back. I just got home from my birthday trip with my friend Christina to Hawaii. And all I did was eat like Hawaiian sweet rolls, drink diet Coke. And I got the Emmys in two weeks and I'm like, have a little bit of acne. I just feel like, and I was so excited to come home and look in my fridge this morning. And what do I have? Dose. Took a little hot shot of dose, getting my liver cleaned out. Modern life is so

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talkiatry, T-A-L-K, talk, I-A-T-R-Y.com slash lady to get matched in minutes. Talkiatry.com slash lady. now back to the lady gang i'm gonna start this episode by saying that i just recently was on reddit for a whole other reason and i was in lady gang snark and someone said i was wondering what was happening with kelty's hair i was hoping she had some sort of illness that was calling causing her hair to fall out and our guest today has the best hair that has ever existed in the world she built an empire out of the thing most of us do quietly and very badly dating during the pandemic, when the rest of us were making banana bread and crying, she went on live from New York on Instagram and blind dated 50 strangers in front of thousands of people. The show became a card

game. The card game became a brand. The brand became a peacock series. And next month on September 22nd, she is publishing her first book called Let's Date, which is essentially her whole gospel in hardcover. And the gospel is you're not auditioning. You're the prize. She's a former a Refinery29 producer turned self-made confidence dealer. She writes a newsletter called Do It For the Plot. She wants to try to hand Taylor Swift her card game in a restaurant, a story we will absolutely be talking about in just a few moments. Ladies and gentlemen, the queen of Just Do It. Honestly, she's out Kelty Knighting Kelty Knight, Serena Kerrigan. What an intro. That was amazing. By the way, my hair is fake. These are extensions. These

are K-tips. I just want to tell you. Well, they look really good. Thank you. Wait, if you took out the K-tip, what would it look like? Like just like a little shorter, a little less volume. See, Kelty? God's fair. Feel a little bit better about yourself. No, it's fine. You just should never go on Reddit and I never do.

But I was on a meeting and someone was like, what are we going to do about the Reddit that's so negative about you? And I was like, wait, there's a Reddit that's negative about me? Anyway, it's so embarrassing. But this is not about me. This is about Serena Kerrigan. So Serena Kerrigan, I am obsessed with her. and she's been in our like world.

Like we've been circling each other's worlds for so long. And then finally we got to meet in person and I was like, oh, she's just as magical as I thought. So now I'm like gonna be K-typing her life. But Serena, first tell us about the book. This book is Your Dating Secrets because you were horrible at dating. Oh my God, it's so cute.

So cute, I love that cover. But now you're in love. I've met the guy you're dating and he's like end game score, score. So you really know what you're talking about. Yeah, I was in the trenches. I was obsessed. I was declimatized since a very young age.

Like I was obsessed with dating. And since I could have my first kiss and I always found myself getting heartbroken. I've been through everything, every situation, every boy I've gotten ghosted, I've gotten everything. And so I, but I loved preaching about dating. I loved, you know, I thought I knew the secrets. And like, as they say, those can't do teach.

Definitely at one point, my audience was like, if you're so good at dating, then where's your boyfriend? And I was like, Oh my God. Oh my God. So then I felt like that I kind of was down in the dumps about that because I was like, not only am I on my personal life, what's my career, but it's safe, confident. And I just trusted the timing of my life, which is a chapter in my book that you have to trust that when you are ready, you will have the opportunity. And when I was 29 years old, I walked into a podcast. I was actually planning on like leaving New York where I'm from. And I was thinking about, you know, departing because I was so frustrated with the dating scene. I mean, I literally,

I'm like in my hometown. I'm born and raised in New York. So this is my hometown. I never left other than college. So all those Peter Pans that you see at those like membership clubs, like, yeah, like I went to high school with them. You know what I mean? Because we're always, Serena, we're always like, no, we got to go to New York and get like a cool New Yorker guy that dresses well. Finance bro. No. I remember I joined Zero Bond, which is a membership club in New York. My mom, like, I'm justifying this expense because this is good for my personal life, for men, like for dating. And she was like, yeah, okay, do it, do it. And that has been canceled since then. I also believe that when you stop looking is when it finds you, which sucks. It's the worst thing,

the most annoying thing to hear as a single person. Oh, you have this, you least expect it, but it's true. Because when you are pouring into yourself, which is what I talk about so much in this book about how to become the prize and feel like that genuinely and loving your life, then it will happen when you least expect it. Wait, so can you go back to your boyfriend? You did a podcast with him right wasn't that how you guys met he had his own podcast and he invited me as a guest like okay also mind you my boyfriend is six years younger than me yeah all the dating advice that I always gave out the one thing that I did end up following the one thing was that he was so much younger than me I always thought like I a woman I have to date older like a man is gonna be able

to handle me my success my career and so anyway I go in this podcast guys I didn't even have mascara like I look so much better for you than I did for him like I didn't even try like it didn't even um and I walk out and it was just like fireworks explosions like very just took me back like I felt so seen so safe I was talking like I felt like I had known him my whole life it's kind of bad and did you did you think like when you first met him were you like love at first sight or is it one of those things that you're like I need to amazing question and if you're listening anytime that you leave a date thinking that is the love of your life your husband it's not him it's not him it's always it doesn't like that is an overcompensation that you're doing

thinking that like you're like oh my god like my name would sound so good with his last name like you're you're overcompensating because deep down in your body it's not right because when it is right you you're like oh that was really nice like that I would totally go on another date with him you're so calm and still and your nervous system isn't all up so after the podcast I was like that was kind of crazy like that was like there was we just it was there was fireworks for sure but I wasn't like oh my god this is my husband but afterwards I texted him saying thanks so much for having me and he was like let's continue without mics or cameras and I said sure and we were official three weeks later but wait after the third date I still didn't know his age

so then I googled him and I was like and said recent college grad and I was like this must be old no no he was 23 fresh out the slammer baby oh my god living at home fresh out the slimer as Kelty said what is the slimer I don't know the slammer it's a Taylor Swift song Serena I know I'm I'm a Swifty okay we'll get we'll get back to that in a second um I was totally taken aback a little like annoyed I was like do you have like a kink for older women or is this a fetish or is this like your first time like but he was like no like honestly like I'm very mature for my age which he is he's a legit grandpa and he was like and he didn't have an issue with it but he was 23 that's so young that's so young but anyway we've been together for three years we live together

we have a dog together it's it's not a thing you guys are so cute together appreciate that but I think that there was a lot of letting go of what I thought my person was gonna be yes because at At the end of the day, like, was it the age that I really cared about or was it feeling safe, feeling empowered, like, not feeling like I had to hide my success or feeling like he could take care of me? Like, I could take care of myself financially, but, like, I also want him to, like, take me out and stuff. Like, could he do those things? So I was associating all that with age versus realizing that, like, it's really about how you're raised and who you are. That's so true. Okay.

So when I was a horrible dater, there was a book called Why Men Love Bitches. And it was Bible. like it was bible that that book changed my whole life yeah and i feel like your book is gonna be this new version because that was like pre-internet pre like all these terms like ghosting like it was just like basically like just act like you don't want him and they'll come and i was like okay great i really need to learn this so what is it you're trying to like tell people when they read your book we have a lot of lady gang listeners some of them are dating in their 20s some of them are divorced and joining the dating scene again after being married for 15 years. Some of them

have never found their person and are just lonely. Like, what do you want people to take away from Let's Date? I loved Why Men Love Bitches. To me, like, that was always my Bible. I definitely felt like we needed something a little more updated for 2026. Women now, we're making our own money. We're in positions of power. We're CEOs. We're bad bitches, bosses. And we're not necessarily looking for a man to provide for us financially. We're looking for them to provide emotionally. What does that mean? Or to take out the trash too. That'd be great. But like, what does that look like? Right. And I feel like that has changed and thus changed the dating landscape. But I think that the thing that my book really is about, it's about mindset. Like

you can, you can control like the dating pool. Like you can't, but when you can control our two things, your mindset, how you view yourself and view the dating and how you talk about dating. so many women say oh dating is the worst dating sucks stop doing that like stop doing that it's so important that however you talk about yourself your career your dating life men if you say all men suck then they will like words create reality and you don't actually have that much control over your dating life you're right you don't so you what you do have control is the way you talk about it the way you think about it the way you treat yourself and putting yourself out there and putting yourself out there means yes, being on the apps or yes, going on a blind date, asking a matchmaker

to set you up, asking like your cousin's orthodontist if he has a daughter. Like yes, it's sometimes going like, but it's also about stepping outside your comfort zone. When is the last time you went to a coffee place that like you have never been to? When's the last time you tried a workout class that like you've never tried that you're too scared to? We tend to get very comfortable in our routine, especially if we're single because we've created a great life for ourselves so why why why try right but I think it's about becoming being the main character you are in a movie and what happens in every movie the hero goes off his path that's how he ends up meeting going on the journey like the hero exciting incident of any film you have to go off of your

path out of your comfort zone and so I think that there's a lot of things in the book that yes are about dating but it's also about yourself and squeezing the juice out of what life has to offer That's so good. What do you think about, like, do you have advice in the book about dating apps these days? Like, what are your thoughts about dating apps? Are you like way more,

just put yourself in different situations and hope for the best? Or are we using them? Every date, okay. Every date is 3P theory. This is in the book. Potential, practice, or plot. You need to be dating.

You either have zero dates at a time or five dates at a time or three dates. You always, like, it's weird how the universe works, but I always felt when I was single, either I was texting no one or like suddenly men were just falling out of the sky. So, and if you view as every date being practice, potential, or plot.

So potential for a second date, that's all it is. It's not potential for marriage. Practice every date you're going to get better. Your stories, how you feel more comfortable, like a joke you tell, okay, that didn't hit, next one. Or plot, like the date is absolutely horrific and then you're telling it on a podcast or in your memoir and, you know, for the future, right?

Yeah. If you think about it like that, you just need to be going on dates. Like that is very important. of course I talk about dating apps we have an entire chapter dedicated something that my friend did that I thought was really cool and she ended up meeting her boyfriend this way was she saw this guy on a dating app and instead of batching with him she followed him on Instagram and he followed on this and he followed her back and she didn't say anything like she just posted whatever but

obviously he's starting to see and he messaged her one day being like I don't even know how we started following each other but like you're beautiful and she was like thanks ha now they're reading. So smart. So smart. This is why Serena needed to come on. This is why this book is so important. And a lot of times, like sometimes I think there's like a lot of people making content and blah, blah, blah. But like when you get a book like this, let's add to cart. When you get a book like this, what I love about it is you can go in, you can highlight, you can fold the page down, you can rip something out, you can take a picture of something and you just have like this promise to yourself. Like if you're lonely right now, if you're thinking about making a change in

your life or listening to Serena being like, oh my God, you're right. I should go do this. Like this is kind of like a nice thing to have on your desk. That's a promise to yourself instead of just like the endless scrolling of like, oh, I should have coulda woulda. I feel like a book having everything in one place. Like it really is a different experience when it comes to like advices like that. Don't you guys feel that way? Oh yeah. I wanted to write a book that was there for you through every stage so dating and beyond and also that is going to give you a slap in the face and a hug at the same time like i'm gonna it motivates you to also enjoy the process i think that dating has gotten bad branding it needs new pr like it's just like it's like there's so much

negativity around it and like if you i've had women who have been married for like a decade there's one woman who was married for a decade four kids and she was like i'm very happy in my marriage but your book literally made me want to be single again like not you know what i mean like because it should be fun. I know it should be. What do you have? Like, what advice do you have? Cause when I was single, I was like you, like I was doing so many things for the plot. I'm like, this is going to be a hilarious story. Like who cares? But then I also found myself cause I'm like such a hopeless romantic and I'd always find myself, you know, putting myself out there, but then putting myself out there way too much where I would get way too vulnerable,

way too fast, put people on pedestals, fall in love with the idea, not even know them, but getting so butt hurt after two dates when I got ghosted. Like, what is your advice for somebody like that? Because I feel like a lot of women are like that, where it's just like, you know, you fall in love with the moment almost. I think you need to have a roster. This is a chapter in the book. You need to be dating more than one person at a time.

The second you like someone, you need to go on a date with someone else. It does not have to be Prince Charming. I think this idea that like, when I've said this, this can trigger people on TikTok. I've seen it where they're like, well, you're asking me to go on a date with someone I don't like. Well, you don't know if you don't like them. yeah you're swiping on app you don't know the person that like i don't know if my boyfriend

like if i i take that back my boyfriend i would have never swiped right on him because i didn't set him i didn't set his my age down or 23 there was no chance i let myself be robbed of so many potential matches because of my what is it uh like age range thing the parameters yeah it's like you need to like I think there's a lot of like self-defense mechanisms that occur of like oh no like that's not for me like I'm not gonna waste my time but like part of it is it's not wasting your time because everything is either when or you learn so you're either learning something about yourself about what you want or you find the person but it requires you to actually like go for it anyway back to your point I would get so obsessed like you don't understand a crush is

just lack of information the lesson yes a crush is just lack of information it's so true it's so true this is an entire chapter of my book because I relate to this so heavily I mean I down horrific over one date two dates like not yeah and the the thing that always always bring me in and like feel like I had reaching control was going on a date with someone else even if it wasn't like I wasn't is obsessed. It's just feeling that you have options. So much of that mentality comes from the scarcity mentality of feeling like there's not enough guys left. Because I think that we live in a patriarchal society that that tends to create a lot of that messaging for us. And settle down quick because like they might like not be here. All the guys are like married. It's

like that's not true. Like there are men out there. Your person is out there. And so but the more options that you have and you feel like they you can compare and contrast and you're just you're calm. You're not putting all your eggs in one basket. You know what, Serena? I got to tell Lady Gang a little secret here. I agree with this a hundred percent because when I first met Chris, I was also, and I've never said this before. I mean, obviously I went on The Bachelor. So like that was a whole thing. But I, when I first met Chris, I also had gone on a bunch of dates with this old man CEO in LA. I know is crazy. And I remember being like, I can't believe I'm like going on a date with someone that drives a BMW. Like I was like, I was like, I'm really like a

tortured artist anyway. Um, and one night we went out on a date and he kissed me goodnight, like French kiss. And I was like, literally kissing him being like, what am I doing? Like, I love Chris Knight. Like I, you know, and it's kind of like, that's exactly what you're just talking about. It's like, I kept the roster open. Cause I was like, I don't know about like, you know, and then it took me going on the date with the other guy to be like, Oh God, no. Correct. When I met Felix after we met on the podcast and we went on a couple of dates,

I went to a party and I made out with someone just because I was like, I just need to know. And I was like, you will never see him again. But I just needed to feel like, hey, you have options. Men think you're attractive. If it doesn't work out with this guy,

there's going to be other guys. It helps. Okay. When we come back, we have asked the Lady Gang community for their worst dates of all time. And I have to be honest with you, it's been a minute since we went to the community

to ask for bad dating stories. and they have been clearly dating horrifically and holding secrets from us because I was reading these out loud to my brother last week while I was preparing for this. I cannot believe some of these happened. So when we come back,

we're going to get Serena's take on what she would do in these situations. This episode of Lady Gang is brought to you by Amazon Music. So here's the deal. We know you like to listen to stuff. You listen to podcasts, you listen to music,

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Shop the best tasting protein powder at cleansimpleeats.com. You're listening to The Lady Gang. All right. We are back with icon, author, writer, what, creator, dating expert, Serena Kerrigan. She's got her new book, Let's Date. It's available everywhere that you get books.

It's coming out, and you guys, we've talked about this a lot. It's coming out September 22nd, but you can pre-order the book now. You know how important a pre-order is for an author, so make sure you do that. Okay, we are going to the community. Here are some stories.

This is from Madison. I went out with a guy from Hinge and he seemed to be pretty normal, pretty average into the date. We went to a bar and each got a beer and started talking. All of a sudden he was like holding my hand while my hand was holding my beer. Like, let me drink my beer to get through this date, please. And then he says, all of your profile pictures are taken from your right side. And then he reaches across the table to go to caress the left side of my face and says, oh, you do have a left side. It's very nice. I'm too stunned to speak. I get pretty tipsy and can't drive home and I need to walk. So he invites himself to walk with me instead of trying to hold my hand. He puts his arms on my shoulder and says, wow, this is a nice fabric.

What is this? To that I say, uh, cotton. Fast forward. I'm good to drive and I'm saying goodbye. His parting words, the international cuddling team is meeting at my house next weekend if you'd ever like to join. Oh no. For the plot, baby. For the plot. That's such a great story that you're going to be able to tell for the rest of your life. I mean, what do you need to know? It's just next. A plus. But I feel like there's a Disney adult girl that would really love that guy. Oh, yeah. I feel like you have the ick because he's just not your guy, but another girl might like absolutely love that sense of humor and that vibe. Be like, he invited me to the international cuddling and then we've been together ever since. There is definitely, there is, it's a, what is it?

There's a pot, a lid for every pot and that's, yeah, you'll find it. Okay. This is anonymous. um okay anonymous i met a guy in bumble the day before dinner we're talking and he says he got hurt at work next day the day of the first date he tells me i broke my arm i say let's reschedule all good he's insistent on still going on the date fast forward we're at a restaurant first of all these people are definitely canadian we order a couple apps pierogies was one pierogies is like a canadian delicacy that uh he stabs it with a fork and puts it on his plate he's viciously trying to cut it with one hand using his fork. And I said, it's fine. Just eat it in one bite. And I don't mind. I can cut it for you. This grown man starts bawling, full on sobbing at

the table, meltdown mid-date. Everyone was looking at us. The server came over to ask if everything was okay. I was so embarrassed, but I also felt so bad for this guy at the same time. I couldn't muster up the words to tell the server that everything was good. I was shocked. No second date was had. No shit. Can't you? Aren't pierogies a finger food? Well, pierogies are soft. So first of all, you shouldn't have to stab it. And second of all, you just bite it on the fork and you take one bite and put it down. Or you're like, oh my God, my arm's broken. Can you cut up my pierogies for me? That's cute. Also, maybe just don't go on the date if your arm is broken. Like, no, I don't know. I mean, you're also probably on pain pills at that point. Like, he's like on a

little oxy help i went on a i can't believe you lady gang this is from aaron i went on a date with a guy from hinge he told me they had just quit his job to be a director and you know where this is going he then told me that he would drop everything including a girlfriend for the right director job he took out his cell phone and placed it face down on the table and proceeded to say that he was committed to this date because he isn't responding to text all the text messages he was receiving i then had to pay for dinner because his card declined what are your thoughts about like phones out on dates because it's like um wow that's so nice that you're putting your phone face down no down there's no phone on the table no and who pays for a date because you

talked about the patriarchy is for the date hello hello what are your thoughts as like say you start dating somebody like when is it time for you to like split a check like what what are your thoughts on that i think that if you start seriously date like i think that like after date four you can be like okay i'll like you know you've been so generous like i'll get dinner tonight but i'm sorry men are courting you that is how they show interest is by making a plan and paying for it it does not have to be for charles it does not have to be matsujisha like it just can be you know the cool new york restaurants and we're like what is that like chili is that cheesecake factory i love Cheesecake Factory, by the way. Everyone can get what they want. That's what I was like,

it can literally be anything. It just, it has to show intention. Like there was a reason to close it. And yes, I have to pay for it. And if you're not in a position, this triggers the f*** out of men, but if you're not in a position to pay for a date, then you shouldn't be dating. That's okay. Do you? I agree. And then also, I think that there's also the point where it's like, you show somebody how you want to be treated the second that you meet them. So it's like, if you're already offering your card up for the first date, then he's just going to expect you to pay for everything forever period it is the most platonic thing you could do when if you never want to see them again you can put your card down but that's it i agree okay this one

is insane anonymous and anonymous for good reason where do i begin i went out with a guy uh and it was an okay date and while we were hooking up i was kind of dry he grabbed a bottle of water and started splashing it all over my vagina. I was extra dry at this point because clearly this guy had no idea about lube. So then we go on a second date and he asked me about my fantasy as we were tipsy. And I said, I dream about Mile High Club on a private jet. And we start kissing and I'm thinking, oh my God, I am totally hooking up with this guy. Even though we had had a weird first encounter, he proceeds to whisper in my ear that he wants to feel my warm pee all over his body, which is fine if you're into peeing. Oh, that doesn't bother me

at all. I think having sex on a first date is a little fast. Not because of how he's going to feel about, you know, it's just like, you don't even know him yet. Like, I feel like it's true. Ooh, Serena, so unmodern of you. I know. Sorry. But it's not necessarily, it's not about him liking you or you having a chance with him. It's not about, it's that I feel that when I had sex on a first date, my oxytocin would shoot up like crazy and I'd become so obsessed with them. And it was detachment of hormones. It's not actually, I couldn't see clearly. I couldn't tell, do I actually like this guy or is it because I just slept with him and I'm feeling intensely about him? So I think in order for you to, again, feel in control, to actually

observe and take a man into consideration, wait to have sex with them. It could be on the third date, but just wait. But like, I feel like you're already talking about like peeing on each other. you don't even know his middle name yeah i mean i definitely think that like his conversation is very sexual front it's like it's i would get so turned off by that why that is courting you to be his serious partner isn't talking about peeing you on peeing on you on the second date no huh no it's so true and i can't imagine that know how a vagina works so that's an instant no splashing some water that's me i've been like absolutely not okay this one is my favorite carrie god bless carrie i was hanging with a guy at his place for reference he's in his 30s a hot surfer with great

taste in music we are in his twin size bed which doubles as his couch because this is a studio apartment he claps his hands and the lights come on he has a damn clap light installed in 2025 That's the story. That's the story. That's it. This man has a twin size bed and a clapper. Well, twin size bed is jail. But in New York, people have studio apartments, no?

A full size. I feel like you could fit a little bit bigger than a twin size bed in there. Maybe not. You're right. And do we want a man that has a twin size bed? As someone who was fully dating and bringing guys back to my apartment in New York City when I was sleeping in a child-size Ikea loft bed in a closet.

And I was like, come on into my apartment. And like, yeah. It's different. No, you're not. No. Also, hot guys are overrated. And she's so, seven, seven phase 10 personality always. Yeah.

Okay, this is a good one that we need to talk about and your advice, Serena. Tori says, this really cute guy asked me out to dinner. I was exhausted, but I agreed to go. He shows up after work for our date with his two young children. Obviously, he's super busy the whole time. One was about three years old, so he's trying to entertain them. The other one was less than a year, so he's spoon feeding them.

I'm enjoying my champagne and basically non-existent the whole date. As you can imagine, there wasn't much talking. He finally asked me, what's wrong? And I said, you brought your two children to our date. And he said, he said, well, we're going to get married and these will be your kids. Oh, my God. These are real stories. My jaw is on the floor.

As someone who had a parent who dated throughout my entire life, like my dad, like you would. It's ridiculous. I don't even believe that story. Insane. It sounds fake. That is so. In what world would that be normal? Also, I mean, well, you have to assume that maybe he's co-parenting, but it's like...

Then pick another boy. You definitely have time where you don't have the kids around. Why are you dating with the kids with you? Also, I get the whole package deal situation, but, like, why are we... It's a step too soon. Like, you're still getting to know each other. Why are you getting married? Okay, too much.

This is my very last one. This is from Shelby. Gaia was already dating for a while, suggested, let's go get some fried food at Hooters. Then while we're sitting there and he's looking at the waitresses, he says, you're probably hot enough to work here, but you'd have to do a lot of squats first. Not that it should matter, but I was 20 and ate my peak physical fitness and hotness at this time. I guess my ass just wasn't up to par. Wait, he said that to her? Yeah.

He said like to the girl, he took a girl on a date to Hooters and they'd been dating for a minute and said, you probably would be hot enough to work here, but you'd need to do squats first. Jill, like literally got up from the table and bye. See ya. I know we have to let you go. Julie, I don't want to leave you. Once I went on a date with a guy and he insisted on taking his fake teeth out at the table.

His teeth never grew and he just wanted to show, show me. I told him, put them back and to never do that again. We never went out again. Okay. Anyway, there were so many. lady gang, you guys are insane. You're literally insane. And I forgot how bad it is out there dating. It's rough out there. No, guys. No. See, that is the rule. Oh, they have reframe. You just read six really crazy stories because that's what you asked for. But there's probably a lot of

amazing stories as well. You cannot you have to remove bad, tough, horrible out from your vocabulary. It's an adventure. It is plotty for sure. There's going to be some misses. But in general like those were amazing stories like I was entertained listening to them you know yeah for the plot and one day when you're in a podcast group and someone asks you for a stupid story you have your man with a clapper and you can use that forever absolutely Serena Kerrigan's new book let's date is available wherever you get books is there a preferred place to get the book that helps you just buy it thank you so much well we love bookshop.org because bookshop.org will fulfill your book from an indie bookseller, which we love. Um, and the book is cute. We're wearing

red. We're falling in love. This is the new Bible. We so appreciate you coming on. Good luck with everything. And, um, you're very, very, very smart and very beautiful. And I'm happy that your hair is not real. I love you both. Thank you so much for having me and do it for the plot. Do it. I need merch. Do it for the plot. Okay. Um, and we will see you next Tuesday. Lady gang, is hosted and produced by Kelty Knight, Becca Tobin, and Jack Vanek, with social media support from Kali Carrera, audio and video editing from Jared Monaco, and additional support from Steve Delameter and Podcast One.