LadyGang - Sex With Emily Returns to the LadyGang - Ep55

Episode Date: December 20, 2016

Sex With Emily's Dr. Emily Morse returns to the LadyGang to answer more of your questions about sex, dating, and relationships. She's got more bedroom tips & tricks, including some pointers on talking dirty, a few nifty toys to spice things up for the holidays, and her take on "euphoric recall." See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey guys, it's your lady gang, Becca Tobin, Kelty Knight, and Jack Vanek. Thanks so much for subscribing on iTunes. And thank you, thank you, thank you for supporting the great sponsors who make it possible for us to have this much fun with you for free every week. OZUN gives you a better way to play in Canada. Snipable insights. So many tips, you'll have the deepest roster in the league. OZUN. Well played.

well what is this welcome to the lady gang that's amazing say that again the lady gang things are about to change around here each week we catch up with hollywood's hottest girl posse kelty knight becca tobin and jack vanik hello hello hello lady gangers how is everybody today good we're good delayed response um all right here we are i'm becca tobin actress blogger singer dancer tap dancer i'm just gonna keep adding things every week uh across from me kelty knight television host of the insider hello to my right hi jack vanek clothing designer of jack vanek clothing um we don't have any fun facts this week because we're lazy because we keep forgetting to think about them we're out of fun

facts i think is what it is like everything interesting we've already no i have this like weird wart on the bottom of my foot it's not a wart but like it's like a scratch that i got in high school and it's never healed just putting that out there weird well i shave really i shave my arms i do too so that's kind of fun you do it's not really those are not really fun facts but for today i feel like they're pretty fun i don't think everybody shaves their arms i know I've been shaving my arms since I was like in seventh grade because all the slutty girls did it. All right.

There we go. On that note, it's time for Good Week. Yes, it is. Bad Week. Oh, no. All right. Who wants to kick it off? Mine's really exciting.

Okay, go. Go ahead. My bad week. Okay. I'm going to start with my good week. My good week is, I know this sounds really cheesy, but this one's for all the like long term married girls out there. i'm like falling in love with my husband for a second time haven't you talked about this before

no we get it you're really kelsey have i are you annoyed no but i'm happy for you yeah like you know like i just like i feel really connected to him and i'm like loving being around him and it's interesting because you know we've been together for like almost almost seven years now you know and i just i'm like i'm obsessed with you like i have like a little girl school girl crush again has anything sparked that no not really i think maybe i'm a little happier i don't know interesting being confident good week that's it kind of a boring good week but my bad week is so good i was involved in a high speed chase this sounds like a good week no well yeah but it was a bad week but it was like a thrilling week okay but i don't want to be like you and break the rules so

it's my bad week so i'm on maholland which is like one of these roads in hollywood that kind of goes up through the hills. It's where James Dean died on his motorcycle. So you understand how dangerous it was. I thought James Dean died in Palm Springs. No, I think that he died on Mulholland on his motorcycle. I'm going to fact check this. Continue Kelty. Okay. Um, and so I'm sitting there at the light and I'm driving alongside this white car and the white car starts really speeding up. It was kind of like behind me a little bit. It starts speeding up like really aggressively. And I was like, Whoa, this car is really in a rush. They must really have to pee. And then it goes beside me and then it clicks over to the left lane so it starts driving in the oncoming traffic

and weaving in and out of the people and then it hopped over an in middle part concrete part what's that called a median and then it went up the like down ramp of moholland on the wrong side and then i was like whoa this was weird because you don't it was like i didn't know what's happening i was like is this real am i involved in this and then like four police cars were chasing after it and it was like oj simpson all over again and i was thrilled that's a scary place to do a high-speed chase i know because it's a hell yeah it was pretty cool and i instantly took out my phone and wrote it down it was like don't forget to tell the girls this you were in a high-speed chase you're a badass for your bad week okay wait where was it um oh god just let

me be with my bad week guys no it wasn't even about you jack what's yours okay um it was paso roble city hall paso roble no no sorry wrong fact north california yeah um okay so my good week i feel like as women we get down on ourselves about our appearance obviously kelty talks about it all the time every day of my life and like there's some things that you like really don't like about yourself your face or whatever and i really don't like my profile like from the side hate my profile i hate it i'm like oh my nose and then i have the gobble and whatever and the other day i was like hanging out with scott and he like stopped and looked at me and he was like you have the most beautiful profile ever like i love it so sexy and i was like

really i hate it but it's really nice for like your boyfriend to compliment something that you like really don't like about yourself and also what he must really love you because because he like your profile gobble like i like your big fake boobs jack vanish but like your profile i mean who compliments that it's awesome but it's nice it was nice you do have a nice profile really let me see even with this you do have a nice a really nice nose chin ratio really huh i don't think so okay so that was your good week that was my good week um so my bad week i was in whole foods the other day being super healthy and i was going to the bakery aisle to get a cookie being super healthy and you know it's organic it wasn't i was actually i love their vegan cookies

they're delish and i'm not even vegan anymore so anyways i'm getting my cookie whatever took a step forward i slipped on one of those stupid things that you like grab the bakery stuff with you know what i'm talking about the cellophane sheet there's like a cellophane sheet on the yes the ground i took a step forward slipped went into total splits i don't know how to do the splits at all oh my god you do now did you tear your hamstring i think i tore whatever vagina the back little your hamstring muscle is and i spilled my kombucha and that's the second bad week that i've had was spilled kombucha and it's the worst because it smells like spit all over your body that's awful it was bad well it's gonna be hard to top those

okay here's my good week i another thing it also has to do with being flattered by your appearance or about your appearance i don't know i was at a um smoothie bar and i was ordering and i noticed this girl was staring at me the girl taking my order like was looking at me very long intense she was a greek no she was like staring at me like super intense and i was like intensely and i was like this is weird i'm just trying to get a smoothie was she just like making eye contact yeah and she seemed like really like caught off guard by me being there and and then she's like i'm so sorry but has anyone ever told you you look like fiona apple you do look like fiona apple and that's my favorite celebrity comparison because usually it's the olsen twins and they look like

hold handbags now and she is actually like i i love her i've never noticed that went but what fiona like i haven't seen there's so many different titles i mean yeah you just have a 90s you're thinking 90s i think 90s fiona i think you don't notice it because you're blonde yeah if you had mousy like dishwater hair you would look even more like her and then if you're wearing like well also if you had like a drug habit i could find one you can wear my plaid shirt right now there we go yeah so that was fun um my bad week has to do with sexy time because we're having our sexy time guest come on and um so zach and i had just been have just been super busy and like he's been traveling a lot and just missing each other completely like so i was i was at home and

he he was on his way back from a work trip and i was like we need to have like some sexy time like it's you know we got to do this so i like lit a candle and i got in bed and then i realized like i had had some dairy for dinner and i was having the farts and like the farts that are like hot coming out and you know how those smell and i was like oh my god i have to like get these out expel them from my body before he comes home so i'm like waiting and waiting it's been like are you doing this like in the covers under the covers i mean i'm just laying there giving myself dutch ovens and then the candle's still burning and it's really strong so i was like and it's a new candle and i was like oh maybe it'll like conceal the smell or whatever finally he comes

home and i'm it's been a while since i last last let one rip and i was like it's gonna be fine and he walks in the bedroom door and he's like and he makes a face and he's like what's that smell i was like i thought it was because it was a new candle yeah and he's like oh interesting smell it's like a mahogany and i was like yeah and i was like man what are you what do you mean and he's like you know what i mean and i go what are you talking about he goes i go what does it smell like he goes it smells like candle and farts he knows you so well i was like damn it didn't get past him this time red-handed damn it so do you have sex no i tried he's like now he's like i'm sorry every time you move

something comes up from the comforter like i just can't i don't know how you felt that you could just hide him in the covers i thought that they would have gone away like where they just stay there it's insane number one about a dutch oven they they sit around for a long time well lesson learned so we need some help with our sex time so i need to talk to emily about that um all right kelty coming up all of your questions shall be answered sex with emily round two now back to the lady gang you guys we are so excited to welcome this very sexy babe back to the lady gang her first episode was so incredibly popular and loved by you we've basically been begging her to come back for round two but she's so busy having sex that she can't find the time

she is the number one sex and relationship expert in america there's actually i found out a name for what she does it's called being a sexologist i thought i thought is that expert no a sexologist she invented the kegel camp app um and is the author of the very best-selling book Hot Sex, Over 200 Things You Can Try Tonight, which we all know I talked about, that I was picking things out of to try tonight. And I left on my coffee table for my cleaning lady to see. Yes, we've talked about this book many times.

She's appeared on basically every TV show that exists, including the Today Show, Dr. Drew, and HLN, and pretty much every magazine. We love her. She's crazy hot, you guys. Please welcome Emily of Sex with Emily. Hi. Hi, gangers. You're back. I'm so excited. How was your

intro this time? That was great. I had to find something new. I want to add something in. You give me insane body envy. Oh, yeah. Because you're a little person, like me. But it's really hard to have a hot body when you're so little. Thank you for saying that.

But you have a hot bod. Thank you. Of course. You got a bod. You guys are all so hot. We try. We try. It's very hard.

So the first thing is, Emily, the first thing is so important. You might not know this yet, but we recently launched our Lady Gang boxes. our subscription boxes okay and we were trying to make it different than every other subscription box out there and so while there were cosmetics and fun girly things we also included a rose gold vibrator oh because we felt like a lot of our ladies were party i don't remember the brand i don't remember sorry brand we don't know um and we felt like a lot of our girls might be a little afraid via their questions to like go in the store and actually make a purchase so now we've shipped it to them with like also other things they can disguise nice and so we need a lesson

okay what are we meant to be doing with the vibrator i have to see the vibrator like is it can you explain is it a clitoral just go outside the vagina it's like this big okay she's holding a pen it's like you know and it's rose gold okay and it's kind of like like a wand okay a wand vibrator how long like you know like this five inches okay so it's it's clitoral stimulation Yes, 100%. Okay, so what you should do with that. Listen close, ladies. Oh, God, there's so much fun you could do with this.

Really, it's just, God, there's so many things. Because for women, okay, for masturbation, amazing. Because the clitoris is where all the magic happens, right? 8,000 nerve endings. A lot of you already masturbate. You probably use your fingers. You should probably be using some lube. I always say add some lube.

Don't use your saliva. It's not as clean. I brought you guys some lubes, actually, by the way. Yes. So you use that And you just start doing What you're doing When you're masquerading

And then you just add it You know you just Kind of like Roll it around your clitoris Like the top of your In the whole area actually And you just like Play with the vibrations

Because I'm sure It's got different Vibration patterns Start slow If you've never used it You want to use it In the lowest setting And just like test it

On your finger Actually a great way To test a vibrator The vibrations on your nose Like I go to all these Sex toy conventions Really? That's sort of how

You can test how it Would feel on your clitoris Fun So it's just a whole Bunch of people In a convention center like vibrating getting off because you can't be like wait let me try this and stick it on your pants because it wouldn't be that sanitary yeah so um just start slow and i would just start

rolling it around so you just go just like you don't want a guy to go right to touch your clitoris right away when you're not warmed up so you kind of roll it around but also so just like play with it and see how it feels but there's also so it's not just the clitoris people think like oh it's that little button yeah but it's like the labia so like you know the whole down the labia like the the whole area surrounding outside of your vagina that feels great and i would just use that to explore your body and explore all that just deliciousness around there god i don't think people say that but they do yeah i'm really excited yeah and then also use it on your nipples use it like trace it like tease yourself with it what a party what a box what a box literally what

a box um lady box so much like last time we just opened this up for our listeners and um in our secret lady gang facebook group we had the girls all send in their things and some of them are sex some of them are relationship but i figure you know hey let's do it so the first one says um she started dating this guy and he's kind of perfect but an awful kisser all teeth mouth so open i felt like he was biting my chin i'm scared to let him go further or lower how do i teach him how to kiss okay that's a great question because people always want to know like it's a bad kisser a deal breaker and it doesn't have to be so what you do when you're dating someone who's not kissing how you want them to kiss you is what you just little exercise and you say let me show you

something let's let's do something together i'm gonna show you how i want to be kissed and then i want you to show me how you want to be kissed and so it's a great way for you know if he's you know intelligent he'll pick it up like oh i get it and maybe it's like an amalgamation of the two but then that way you can show him like don't do anything just sit there i'm gonna kiss you and if he starts like you know chomping on your leg you'll be like wait no this is my turn and then he takes his turn and then you kind of get where you're going and he can you can train him definitely that's a good way to do it yeah we're not like insulting offensive yeah it's so easy to insult and we don't want to do that right because they'll never kiss you again and they

never get over it yeah especially men they never do i realize that they are they hold on you would think we're sensitive but you told me one thing about his penis like in the locker room when he was 17 he's like 35 dating thinking like oh my god she's thinking my penis is small we got it like tread lightly we got about 6,000 people

asking how can I heighten my libido is there a natural food is there a pill what am I going to do I was one of them she asked 10 times it was Becca and all her code names on the lady gang facebook that is such a good question and it's actually like one of the top questions i get asked

on my podcast because women in libido it's so tricky because it fluctuates over time in a month in a day like you know in a week but there's a lot of contributing factors so first this is like the thing birth control pills like your doctors they don't tell you they put you on birth control pill the devil the 18 19 and you're like oh great i'm doing it i'm not gonna get pregnant but you don't realize there could be side effects so if you found a libido drop from that you can always go back to your doctor and tinker try a different try a different kind like higher progesterone higher progesterone lower estrogen whatever it is you can tinker with it that could be a factor so rule out all medical like if you're on antidepressants that is just there goes your

sex drive so you can again that doesn't mean that you should go off your antidepressants it means that you should talk to your psychologist about you know your psychiatrist about like lowering the dose and adding something else in so let's just rule out all medical things um certain times a month you might you know again higher lower but what you can do is i'll talk about the natural things so you know when you are kind of out of shape and you're like i really gotta get to the gym i think we might have talked about this last time because it's like actually my my best like i think it's the best way to explain it and then you go once you're like i almost died and then you go like the next day and you're like okay that wasn't so bad and the third day you're like oh

okay i want to go to the gym so sometimes the hardest part of going to the gym though is like getting your shoes on getting out the door and once you're there you're never like uh why did i why did i work out that sucked sex is the same way so if you're not feeling it from your partner sometimes you just got to do it like just be like you start going and then you're like okay this wasn't so bad and you get back into it the more you masturbate the more you fantasize the more likely you're going to want to have sex so i'm just giving you all the yeah then we'll get into like things that you can use so those are all the things like try to make sex part of your like act because for women are it all goes on between our brain like guys like they walk in the door they

look at you they have a boner and you're like i'm not even ready like i've been like on snapchat like what do you mean like i'm not paying attention so we're just we're not wired that way like men are like you know they're like frying pans or like very slow cookers so you've got to like whatever if you know you're having sex that night maybe watch some porn or you know masturbate again you'll be in the mood so those are all the things you could do that are natural so um there's a few things that have come on the market there's this one called the fiera f-i-e-r-a and this is like brand new a medical company developed it um like gynecologists and like um like a pharmaceutical company but it's it's this little thing it looks like it's kind of it's really cute it's pink and

white and it's like fits in the palm of your hand and you put it on your clitoris and it pairs to your, it's like pairing. It's kind of like, like your blue tooth, but it literally like, you're like, I know it sounds, but like latches on. So, you know, there's a suction and you, for five minutes you wear it and it starts to like pump, like it feels good though. Yeah, it is. But it feels like really, it feels good.

Like there's a little vibration, but not enough to give you an orgasm just to get the like blood rushing to your clitoris. And that has been amazing. Have you tried it? I just got one. yeah it's exactly i've tried it and you try it like three or four times everyone in my office is trying it now and then eventually it's just like work it out you're like oh i'm in the mood for sex so it's called fear i think if you go to sex with emily.com i think we have a banner up

there you can check on that um oh that's so cool i know it's really cool because it's like a little sex toy jack just wrote a note down i want to try it yeah well we could okay so you guys want to come on my show right maybe yeah again i would love it because that show was real okay let's talk about you guys on my show super popular it was fun we had so much fun so i get you guys could try it we could get you one sent to you and see how you like it we'll have a review reviews yeah that'd be fun another big question we got was that women wanted to know especially in long-term relationships that they're like they want to try something new like a little kinky a little bondage a little something new and they don't know how to introduce it without insulting their partner

because they feel like at this point we've been together five, ten years and now I'm like let's try – like are you cheating on me? Like why this new vibe? Right. Okay. So first of all, just so everyone knows, completely natural, when you're in a relationship, I want you to accept this fact that you are going to – you're going to get to a point

where you're going to get a little bored with your sex life. It's just going to happen because like just think about it. You get bored with everything else in life. You ate the same food, went to the same movie every night, having sex the same way. So there's nothing wrong with you. There's nothing wrong with your relationship. So I almost feel like I always try to couples like plan for this, prepare for it, but many

don't. And they get to that place a few years in where they're like, okay, now what? So completely. So how you say it though, how you bring it up is you just kind of like have this car. It's great not to have it in the bedroom. These kinds of conversations. It's more like Saturday morning, like having breakfast or like on a road trip. So if you are having a hard time communicating around sex with your, your boyfriend, I love

the road trip thing or just driving wherever you're going because you don't necessarily have to be making eye contact which can be uncomfortable but you're driving you're like just to your car and you're like babe god last night or last week that sex was hot i keep thinking about what happened i was thinking you know it'd be really fun um i was just i always have like tell me you're listening to my podcast i was listening to this podcast sex family or i was talking to my friend so and so it just doesn't matter but i think it'd be really fun to be tied up um or i think it'd be fun to like try some new things like i've been turned on thinking about you tying me up like you bring him into it yeah and so you know it's just like that like has there

been anything that you want to try and see where the conversation goes like i'm sure that there will be some things that that come up but it's more like let's keep making this fun like us together not like you sex lately has been so boring so we better get some handcuffs women someone women women's the women's someone asked what's the best way to get comfortable with oral sex i know guys love it but the thought is just weird and unsettling you and me too sister yeah i get it like women i think it's like younger women too like early 20s teens like i know a college guy did too i was like well you like that's the worst thing that you could ever do to me like this is so terrifying like you don't want to be doing that i would never want to be doing

that so i get that it's uncomfortable and it is true that like a lot of guys really you know want to do it and they love it so much they just i think because they love the vagina they like it just because we did some a lot of women don't love their vaginas which i wish they did it's one of my missions i love your vagina don't love your hashtag we once put up a post of the crying vagina and it got more like likes we were like i'm crying did that not get deleted any post that we've done of vaginas or dicks gets deleted on facebook we tried to make it on instagram Oh, Instagram, Instagram, you got to be careful. Yeah.

But in Facebook too, people shut down our page. They get angry. Okay. So I'm crying vaginas. Don't cry about your vagina. No. So, so how do you get comfortable with it is God, it's just like getting comfortable with everything else in life.

Confidence. Just know that first of all, masturbation helps you get comfortable with everything in your body. So if you know how to make yourself orgasm, it's not his job for so when I'm like, he didn't give me an orgasm because I used to think that too. I'm like, I'm breaking up this guy. He didn't, but I didn't know how. So once you know your body and you know how to move and you know that you can have it or you even know how to experience pleasure, you'll be more comfortable.

But also it's really just like it's kind of getting through that uncomfortable first moments and relaxing. So if you do like deep breathing, if you have to just like lie back and be like, okay, this part is painful, and then you just settle into it and just know that they do want to be there. Your vagina is like not dirty. It's not gross. It's not going to hurt them. Like a lot of guys are really into it because they just, they like the taste. They like the smell. They like it.

And you have like, there's not every guy, just like not every woman likes giving a blowjob. There's some guys who are like, I just want to be in there all day and know it. And there's some guys like, I'm not my thing. Yeah. And those guys are not my thing. I'm like, you are not my guy. You don't want to be if you're not into it. So I really think it's a matter of, it's a process of just knowing that they wouldn't

be trying to do that if they didn't want to. And that you like allowing yourself to receive pleasure and knowing that you deserve it. yeah i feel like not a lot of guys are doing it as a favor no i don't think so either men don't do any favors they do what they want right and even if it's because their ego and they're like yeah i got her off good like if that's your incentive but they want they do it because they want to do yeah i don't think any guy's going down there if he doesn't want to i don't do it if i don't want to hey oh i want you guys something for that to help you want to do it really pull it out yeah i gotta see this is your product no none of this is mine just fun stuff

I'm like, I got to bring the Lenny gig. Oh, wait. I have a question about a blowjob really quick. Go. Now that I'm thinking about it. Yeah, I'll show this to you after. Does holding your thumb work to make you not gag when you're giving a blowjob? Have you guys heard that?

No. You squeeze your thumb. Have you heard that? I've never heard that. It's something with your gag reflex that if you squeeze on your left thumb, it's supposed to like- No, it's like acupuncture. It's like acupuncture?

I've never heard the hand that's not working. I guess. I can work on your gag reflex. I can teach you tricks for that, but I've never heard about the thumb. oh my god there's so many things so no okay wait first of all what is this we need like 10 episodes with you i'll come back you guys this is my old juicy mouth okay so i'm obsessed with this stuff called juicy mouth okay it's blowjob spray this is like i think doc johnson makes this i think i sell this we have a store on my website now but yeah so some women don't love the taste of blowjobs

they just whatever and it needs to be wet right so the big key of a blowjob is like you want Oh, yeah. Because my mouth is producing it. Do you ever, like, not use enough, have enough saliva? Yes. Always. Right? Yes.

This produces saliva in your mouth, and it tastes like citrus. So, like, and here's the other thing. I use it before I go on my podcast because it provides. Yeah. I like a dry mouth. Wait, are you getting a blowjob right now? No, but I want you guys to try it. I'm sure you should try it.

Let's try it. I want to try. Okay. Which one? I want the watermelon. Juicy mouth. Okay, this is called Aura Love Juicy Mouth Dry Mouth Spray. It instantly moisturizes and freshens your mouth.

oh it's like a um it's like here but it like produces saliva um an eye drop for your throat yeah exactly do you do it yeah you just put your mouth in all of a sudden you'll start to get like your mouth will get and i just like use it all the time how many sprays this is what people need when they do ted talks right exactly it's the worst dry mouth i've ever experienced it's disgusting podcast or podcast i don't listen this is good i know right i like it we're gonna try it tonight by doc johnson get ready no really and it like gets me excited for it but i will not and you just keep respraying it it's a good time oh my god how many calories are in this exactly i think there's no negative calories worth it though it's totally worth it um i did not write this next

question but i could have oh i'm not i am not a sexy person and i very rarely am feeling myself so how do i come across more seductive and desirable because awkward ain't cutting it i love whoever you are i'm not naming names on these questions but that's amazing i feel you girl again it's confident it's cultivating your own confidence because you you're no one's like born coming out of the womb like i'm sexy right it's something that you have to like work on so it's body image issues it's which we all go through that it's um it's really like doing things like looking at yourself for the mirror like dancing at home doing you know knowing your body sitting there with like a mirror in front of your vagina and like understanding your entire

your body and that you are like a beautiful person goddess i mean it sounds again i hate sounding so like cliche northern california where i'm from but it's true whenever i say things like love yourself goddess but um actually on my website sex with emily um we did a whole for september we did back to sexual confidence month and said like back to school i love that and so we've got so many great articles uh blog posts that we wrote people in my office wrote but also we got listeners submitted kind of how they got their confidence back and what they've learned So a lot of times it's like trying new things and getting over certain humps and I mean it's so hard to like, it's, it's confident, like cultivating your confidence is the most

important work you can do in every aspect and it will come back and help you with your sex life as well. I love that. What if you want more dirty talk and less silence? This is kind of, you know what? I want to know about this question. I want to know about this because I think it's hot, but then I feel so dumb. What if you want?

Yeah, baby. Ooh, yeah. like i don't know what to say and like do i say to my kelty voice do i like adopt a sexy girl do you do you do you want more dirty talk i don't know i think it's fun it is fun i like oh god what if you say something like you don't like but that's like you just say what okay so what would you want to say naturally that you don't say let's practice here i don't know yeah he listens i'm gonna try it but like i try it how do you ask for dirty talk okay so here here's the thing talk dirty to me jason derulo sorry can you just start dirty talking and then they'll talk

back will they no jack are you good at it you're like no i know i've had the mutes i'm like really are you even alive are you here are you breathing i know i don't like when guys don't make any like i had this guy did it for a while i was like when he would come it was like did you even just it was you'd be like something yeah like a burp i need an announcement that it's happening right let me know you're so hot because i can't feel i think guys also think that we can feel it when they come and i'm like no no we can't we don't know we want to know and we want to they think i think it's because a lot of guys spend so much time in their rooms like masturbating quiet oh my god you're right and they're just like this is how i do it quietly quickly mom don't hear me like

so no one comes no let me know okay so dirty talk here's the thing about dirty talk it is a skill in the sense of like it's practice so the more you do it the more comfortable that you will feel but start with something like benign like slow i just be like babe that feels so good i've been thinking about your whatever you want you inside me all day i've been thinking like describe either you describe something that's happening in the moment i'll send you notes um we'll do a little thing after offline so um say like describe something like god that feels so good i'm thinking about you inside me all day that's so hot or think about something in the past like god that you know this is okay well i guess that's more like sexting because sexting can be a great

way to practice your dirty talk because you can kind of describe things that you want like i've been thinking about last night all day and when you get over here i'm gonna be just you know i'm I'm going to grab my blowjob spray in my mouth. No, I'm going to be grabbing your, you know, I'm going to grab you and I want you inside me. So really just like start with like the basics of how you would just say it. Like I've been thinking about this or I got, I'm wet or just the basic things. And then if he doesn't answer, you could be like, I want to hear what you think.

What do you, like, what are you feeling right now? Like, tell me what, and then you just kind of like coax him into it, but you don't want to start with the hard and fast, like freak them out. Right. Don't throw the P word out right away. Right. like the p word right i don't know how much we can say because i know you guys have a lot of younger i don't know why no we got ladies our ladies are doing it they're good okay i didn't

know because i thought last time it was a little more we thought it was like 15 year olds but it's not oh it's not i was gonna bring you guys more stuff i'm like oh it's 12 year olds no well we're not like anal beads i know you're not yes really i was gonna bring you a lube shooter for your ass damn we really missed a loop shooter what is it like a squirt gun we put lube yes yes it's kind of awesome you put it in your butt whatever yeah oh my god you can just shoot it yeah so if you if you're a fan of anal sex like you know that you need a lot of lube i see okay you guys i bought you some loops too yay but i'm a huge fan of lube like i just think that that it's so underrated and that people think that lube is this kind of thing that you gotta like oh you gotta

get some lube because she's dry or there's discomfort and there's a problem but really like women who use lube are more likely to orgasm 80 of women who use it are more likely to orgasm and it's little drops like that like the whole bottle three drops on your clitoris unless you're drunk and you're like whoops and then you're like whatever yeah doesn't even matter right too much i don't think i think like the wetter the better so lube wait what we what's the question why was it going off on lube lube shooter for your ass so you put lube right so yeah you just put lube i just got back in the sex convention in um germany and yeah you put it in your you put a lot of lube in there and get shoot it up so because during anal sex people if you're having anal sex i mean

so many women have really bad first-time experiences where guys like let's do it now we're drunk and puts it in without lube and then they're like never i'm never doing that again so you won't have enough lube but this like a lube shooter is a little more advanced but you just know there's plenty of lube that's always going to be there because you shot a bunch in on that note on that note last question yes you did you're fabulous okay i mean you ended it with lube shooter to think it's all the info we need it is um okay this isn't sex it's more so kissing question okay i love with six o's kissing and my boyfriend doesn't we've been together for a long time and i always beg or barter for like several minutes of just kissing i would hate dating her

he thinks making out is just a lead-up to sex so he says to me no kissing if it doesn't end in sex he gives me millions of pecs and forehead kisses but i want to make out and i'm tired of begging for it what do i do tell him no sex unless uh we make out i mean literally like i would say we're they take sex off the table and say i just want to i just want to make out i want to have a day a week of like massage and touching and teasing and no intercourse until we keep kissing because kissing is one of the first thing that goes in long-term relationships you just stop kissing you don't want kissing thank god everyone's different i don't like making out have you always hated it always even when you were like 16 literally when i was 16 i'd be like okay now put

your finger in my vagina like i'm so over this that is so weird right no i get but see everyone that's beautiful everyone's different i love kissing but she's like smothering like i need to breathe but the thing about you know you're and so this is what's so beautiful about sex is that we're all different we all want something different right and maybe your fiance maybe he wants to kiss more than you do does that ever happen or no you both are pretty compatible like you know so he hates kissing he doesn't hate it i probably hate it more but like he doesn't miss it unless this is him writing it right exactly as a girl he was using this unhappy face emoji four times right that sounds like how do i get to becca but no here's the thing about kissing is that it's

also for women a lot of women except for becca you really do need to um it's part of foreplay It's part of what – it actually will get us turned on for a lot of women. It's arousal. It's foreplay. And the thing that we hate is that I hear from a lot of women. They're like, my boyfriend will only kiss me because he wants it to lead to sex. And to me, that makes me insane. And they're like, so then I don't even want to kiss because I know – can't we just cuddle or can't we just –

I agree, yeah. And so it's like frustrating for women because I'm not even going to go there. And that's why a lot of couples have problems. Yeah, they're like, I don't even – that's why they have problems too with sex because women just shut it down. Because if he's coming near me, it's going to mean like I have to give him a blowjob and I just want to make out. So I would say to them I really like kissing It really like makes me want you more

And it makes me want to have sex more It makes me more attracted to you But like it's something that like I really really need it And like let's have fun with it You can like give them a massage You could like say let's just take it I always tell couples who are having challenges

Around intercourse or sex Like take it off the table Like there's so many other things you could do Besides sex Besides intercourse Blowjob spray Blowjob spray That's amazing

Okay on that note We will be right back because Emily's going to stick around and help us answer all of our Ask the Lady Gang questions. Hey, ladies! Funky. Ask the Lady Gang.

Welcome back, guys. Before we start, Ask the Lady Gang. If you want to go to jackvanek.com, you can get 20% off your order with code LADYGANG. And you know how to do our next section. You've given so much good advice.

Yes. Yeah. Okay, this is like the legit. Yeah, these are the real questions. Ask the Lady Gang questions. Life advice. which they're pretty much relationship sex advice too so i should say one thing jack yeah no i was so proud of you i took a picture but i like forgot to tweet but i was somewhere like in new york and

they had your i know maybe your jack fennick stuff was like everywhere but i was like so proud it was like some major store and i was happy for you thank you she's a badass you're so badass i love yourself and i'm just i'm proud of you i thought it was really cool i was like i know her maybe i was michigan i don't know where i was like with my family or i was in new york somewhere i was traveling a lot thanks girl look it's everywhere i appreciate it yeah okay okay so um our first question comes from sarah she says hi lady gang my boyfriend and i only recently started dating but we've known each other for a while since we used to work together we're both in our early 20s but i found out on the i'm only the second girl that he's been with he gets really insecure

about things in the bedroom but he's a lot better in bed than he thinks he is how can i build him up on his confidence there's so much confidence issues that come around here i think she just has to keep reassuring him that everything's in the moment everything's great so keep telling him like god that was really hot the way you kissed me or i love like the sex we had last night i mean if he's doing if he's she really has no complaints it's just that he's like beating himself up after like thinking about the partner how many partners he's had i think it's another thing it goes away you know there's these things about like a number of partners this stuff like doesn't really doesn't matter but i think when you're younger you're like in your early 20s you're like obsessed with

the number yeah yeah it doesn't make you better if you've had a bunch right exactly not at all like it probably sometimes if you've had a bunch you're like really you're probably the guy who's not going down you're like i'm just gonna bang you know so i think that just keep reinforcing that everything you know that if it's true that what he's doing is is is wonderful and feels good to you and be specific in your compliments like the way that you just did that and i i was fantasizing about the way you used your finger this way or the way you kissed me or the way you undress me i don't like fingers that way no no that's not what i was saying sorry i was in my own head i was having an internal i know i was like what is happening right now no but i think

i think it's like i mean because the truth is i think kelty's written all these questions and these are all her honey you could just call me offline we could like have lunch i will help you We don't have to make it a public thing, Kelsey. Sorry. But here's the other thing, though. We all know we can get a million compliments in the world, right? Everyone can love us and everything will be going great, but we still beat ourselves up and feel like have self-confidence.

It's still a challenge. I think it's a lifelong journey, right? Accepting yourself. So I'm telling her that she could do this to her boyfriend, but I'm wondering if he's not confident in other areas of his life or if it's just sex because if he's maybe depressed or there's other things going on, no matter how many times you're telling this,

it's not going to get any better so if he's if this is really truly this isolated area then i think you guys just together you're just like you know you just keep building them up trying new things and telling them specifically how great he is like keep having sex with them and just keep telling them that like and again being specific with your feedback i love that positive reinforcement always like a dog i love it compliments best thing ever that's true this This next question is so important to me, you guys, because it's literally all of us. In all caps. From Anonymous.

She says, my ex-boyfriend from almost three years ago recently reached out to me to invite me to his birthday party. I went, and the whole night he confessed his love to me. He said everything I wanted to hear and more. But two days later, he finally messaged me and said he is sorry and was drunk and didn't mean one word. I'm now a mess, and I feel like we broke up all over again. Now I feel like I'm back to being the girl I used to be. insecure vulnerable etc i hate that i miss him so much and i'm scared i won't find anyone that i clicked with as well as i did with him what should i do oh okay well she should know that

she's exactly where she should be because every time you break up with someone you think i'll never find anyone better and you know that i'm a loser or no one's gonna like me again like so those are the thoughts have we all had those thoughts yes they'll never be you've never been dumped becca becca said yes but she's never been dumped no one's ever broken her heart becca's just cold as ice did you ever feel like you'll never meet you know she doesn't have a one that got away i honestly never felt that way but she doesn't like kissing you no i guess but for many women no but i've seen it with a lot of my all my desperate friends have felt that way but i personally becca tobin have never perfect

been dumped so i don't know so every other woman in the entire world other than becca yes emily everyone else but okay so that's that's a typical like you're gonna go through this but you're gonna i just want to tell you that you you will anonymous you will get past this i promise you that this this too shall pass i know everyone says that it's gonna get easier but but it does and the more you can cut off now all contact with him because you realize that he's just gonna be you might running into a party this weekend yeah so try to avoid that don't stalk him on instagram like cut off all ties yes and just spend time like with your friends people you might not be ready to date yet but i promise you from each breakup you will get stronger you realize more

about what you like spend this time thinking about like what wasn't so great in this relationship because i'm sure right now we tend to think it's i call this euphoric recall oftentimes other women besides becca when we break up with someone or they break up with us we tend to think like we put them on a pedestal and oh we can remember these amazing things like you're so great but i've still had to do this like if i've broken up with a guy and then i'm having second thoughts and I see him again I'm like do I want to get back

I actually make lists of terrible qualities that these people have so do I and I recently found one it was good there were some very specific things on there

right no I'm telling you like ugly feet we forget right if that is a good visual for you I'm telling you

it's all I needed to think about and I was like oh thank god couldn't spend a life with those feet yeah anonymous

I want to tell you my trick it's almost as good as Becca's so whenever I got dumped by someone and they really

hurt my feelings I made my own craft calendar out of a piece of paper and i made for 30 days whatever month it was i made a calendar for 30 days and on every single calendar day i wrote one terrible thing about that person stupid haircut bad like whatever it was like you know like your phone number was the wrong area code like whatever the things you hated about them like and then that's your friends too sometimes they remember more than you do like why did i hate him again i meditate so whenever i got sad and i was like oh no i would just think of like what's my meditation for today stupid haircut and

i would just remind it and then every day i went through without texting that person or like calling them or being pathetic i would cross it out and then we get to the end of the 30 days and you're clean you feel good it just takes time it really does that's how an anal retentive person ocd person deals with a breakup i like the idea of writing down all the things because right now she's just hurt because he it's like it is it's like you take intensives back yes you see him again i had this with an ex where we'd broke it up and then i saw him again i feel like god damn i just healed and now it took another three months but then you get through it you get through it faster you broke up with him for a reason it was the right thing keep keep keep on you'll be keep

on keep on keeping on becca tobin your life i want to make that just rip your heart out you have the jack and she has the becca tobin which is like you just don't care just rip your heart out cold cold cold i really i actually was listening to another podcast and it was this girl who was like really just introspective and she went to like yale and she was super obnoxious and she was like i think stoicism is so out it's just i used to look up to people and i would be like how do they do that i feel so much and i express so much she's like i'm here to say that it's out what i was like try telling me that yale loser anyway no feelings i can't i'm not telling what podcast i don't want anyone listening to it bad advice bad information and she doesn't know what's

on trend okay next question our last question comes from another anonymous and she says i'm in the process of planning my wedding one issue the guest list one of my fiance's best friends who is a groom man groomsman is dating a raging bitch at our engagement party she made a bitchy comment about how small my ring was would it be bad to not invite her i'd rather use that invite for a friend or family member i don't think you cannot invite the groomsman's girlfriend wife what is that girlfriend girlfriend you should have like a talk beforehand i think like you don't want to that's just before the wedding like if it's he's in the wedding you can't not but you have to have you have to have it you have to have the talk don't you think what

do you guys think look at her big i don't think that a whole thing i don't even know i mean i think it's your wedding and it's the only time in your whole life that you get to do exactly what you want and you have a get out of jail free card so if you really feel like this is going to ruin your day this awkwardness don't invite her but if you want to be mature you could always send your future husband on a mission because it's his buddy so you could say hey husband you need to talk to aaron and tell him that his girlfriend really hurt my feelings and like she needs to chill and then put it on them because then it'll be because the group's man can hate you and be like that girl's a total me but he's not going to hate his best friend right you know what i mean

yeah also i feel like uninviting her if he is in the wedding is going to create so much drama that's not worth it yeah just don't pay attention to her also you're not gonna you're not gonna notice her at the way like of all those unless she's like your dress was okay except your veil was ugly like i don't know she doesn't seem like a very nice person when do you ever comment on someone's ring size i've seen some ugly ass engagement rings and i'm like oh my god it's the prettiest ring ever like that's what you're supposed to do as a woman well maybe this girl's on the girl code true it's true but like coming from somebody who sometimes doesn't say the right thing always and gets you know lost in translation maybe she didn't mean it give her the benefit of

the doubt but you wouldn't say something like that i could maybe say something along the lines of like i mean i'm not exactly like great at making people feel good about themselves so like i and i'm slightly on the spectrum socially i think so i just don't let this girl ruin your wedding maybe she was like just try i don't know she here's what you do i have the perfect idea you're in charge of the seating chart i hope you're doing a head table so you have you and the groomsmen the bridesmaids all up at the front and then you put her in the back with like the groomsmen's girlfriends like so far back that she can't even get to the dance floor and you never have to see her bye sure there you go i guess yeah we fixed your lives well guys emily thank you so much for

being here um you guys you have to go check out the newly revamped sexwithemily.com the blog section i got lost in it and then you can click on all the sex toys and purchase things and i mean you're just so amazing you guys follow her in the podcast listen to her podcast right sex with emily which is you know in the top 10 20 on itunes at all times so you can easily find it and then follow her on social media at sex with emily she is unbelievable definitely check out the podcast because we're gonna come back to you too in the future we're gonna you know have sex with emily yeah in the future a nice fall romp a nice romp um okay also make sure you check out the lady gang.com for all of our fun blogs and everything.

And follow me on Instagram at Kelty night. Okay. At the lady gang, just kidding. And it's Becca Tobin and Jack Vanek, whatever. Okay. Okay.

Next Tuesday. Yeah. Join the lady gang every Tuesday at iTunes and at podcast one.com. That's podcast. O N E.com. Thanks for listening.