LadyGang - Stassi Schroeder

Episode Date: September 10, 2024

Reality TV icon Stassi Schroeder joins us today to talk about her new book "You Can't Have it All" plus we dive into her wedding, motherhood, and which reality star friends she's still in contact with. Plus, Keltie is officially a gardener, Jac is back in the Facebook group, and is Becca doing a photo shoot on the beach?!  Check out our amazing sponsors!!! Nutrafol: Got thinning hair? Get $10 off your first month’s subscription and free shipping at Nutrafol.com and use code LGPOD Quince: Need high-quality fall essentials? Go to Quince.com/lady for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns! Hiya Health: Need a good children's vitamin? Get 50% off your first order at HiyaHealth.com/lady  Progressive: Quote at Progressive.com to join the over 28 million drivers who trust Progressive. Huggies: Get your baby’s butt into Huggies’ best fitting diaper! Huggies Little Movers. We got you, baby.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

well what is this welcome to the lady gang that's amazing say that again the lady gang things are about to change around here each week we catch up with hollywood's hottest girl posse kelty knight becca tobin and jack vanik hello hello hello welcome to lady gang i'm becca tobin here with jack vanik and kelty knight hi ladies hi ladies wowie wowie something uh very exciting is coming so wait i need to just explain this episode because it's happening in two parts yes so hello we're together we're doing our good week bad week which is cool and then the next part stassi's on the podcast but we actually recorded this about four weeks ago with her because she's got this new book coming out and she's in new york for book launch day so we knew we were going to

have to do it but this is the day you were sick yeah so it's just becca and i and stassi but it was really funny because i was having jared edit it and we couldn't find the footage because you You know, we did it like weeks ago and I was like, oh my God, we lost Stassi. Oh my God. And he was like, no, I was looking at, I kept looking for Jack in the, like Jack's camera or whatever, or Becca. He was looking at Becca's footage and he thought she would be there, but he didn't realize Jack was sick.

And we put Stassi in your seat. So he was like, I can't find it. I can't find it. It was like three days of just high intensity. I was like, we're going to have to call her. We're going to have to do it again. I'm going to have to reread the book. Cause like I had forgotten it, you know, anyway, but we found her.

She's here, but first it's time for, wow, it's time for, good week, yes it is, bad week, oh no, I have to go first, okay, okay, I'm sending you something, my bad week is TikTok, please check your TikToks, TikTok has now shown me what a cow vagina looks like, cow? Yes, I am going to post this, I don't even know how to open a TikTok message, just click it, no, it's like she texted it to us, oh, okay, okay, I thought you meant you sent us on tiktok no hold on oh gosh it's lunchtime would you eat a cow vagina it's like big and they have to massage it and then they take some of the skin off it oh i don't want to do this and then they cut it i don't want to do this it kind of looks like chicken i don't want to ew ew how do i delete

this message from you anyway okay next good week i am officially a gardener oh i garden now do you I, Chris used to call it a putz, but I don't, it's not a putz anymore. Very serious. I have three sets of gardening gloves. I have a gardening hat. I have gardening shears and I bought a tiny little gardening chainsaw. It's like this big off team of $15 and you can just like take off the little edges. But sometimes on a Saturday morning I'll make a cup of tea and then I'll go out to my garden and i snip some lavender i unearth some dead plants i replant some might move some things i fertilize i this has to be something that happens to women that in elder years right because my mom is the same way and i grew up never seeing her do anything other than like put a flower on a

table it's weird she's obsessed with her backyard now yeah yeah so my sister in london has a beautiful, like kind of very British garden where it's like frogs. And like, I mean, it's so gorgeous. And I was always like, she's like, I'm in the garden. And I was like, cool. I'm never going to like meld with you on this subject. But I did send her like a knee pad for her knees when she's gardening. And then now that I have all my things growing, I'm obsessed. I bought little, like sort of like holders and I've like put the plants through so they can grow tall and get the sun. I grew an orange and then I had a little accident because I put the water on the orange because i wanted to give it lots of water and then i got distracted and i like left the water

on for four four hours and then chris was like hey the home system is telling us we have a leak can you check the house and i was like it's me and the orange tree anyway i garden please send me all your gardening tips she's a gardener basically call me lily blacks also into her backyard i am well i have to be because i have to water my plants oh but it's a you don't have a drip system i do have a drip system thank you very much but we have like six fruit trees that the drip system doesn't go to because you have to love them i have lemons limes mandarins apples uh pomegranates grapes figs grapes yeah did you not you haven't seen her great footage no i didn't it's very impressive it is it's so yeah we ate it on a cheese plate we have like

grapes and they grow on a vine over like our uh front to backyard like doors it literally looks like you're in europe it's so cute but a rat ate them all so they're gone now but i i got footage right before they were all eaten oh the footage i thought you said footage of the rat eating it oh no but we wish well it was a rat or a squirrel but no we have so many okay wow i mean fruits way to come from my i know way to come from my section of the internet like honestly i got a message that people were like, Hey, I think you should be able to talk about your history, hysterectomy as much as you want. Medical, um, Tik TOK is yours because Jack took over fixer upper. Oh, wow. Wow. We really have to just be one thing. Competition. Yeah. Okay. Would you like to go?

Yeah, I'll go. Um, okay. So I guess this will be my good week cause it's just insane. Um, So after our show in Dallas, you drove home and me, Kelty, Carrie, and Derek all went out to eat. Yep. And I don't know how we got on the topic of Ryan Ross, probably because a lot of my good week, bad week has to do with him. We're kind of talking about him. Yeah.

And Kelty revealed to me, I was number one. She knows so much about his love life, his current love life. Oh, wait. I was in the car as she was ramping up the, what he's doing now. Well, this was different. She knows this. I'm going to get killed for this. i don't want him to know i know he has a current girlfriend and then she told me she listened to

some podcast about him are you kidding i did what was it again this is so embarrassing jack are we doing this yes uh i listen to podcasts and a podcast girl came up this is years ago though in my defense but isn't it about his current girlfriend right no no no no i was drunk i wasn't making sense he was on a podcast and he was talking about getting sober and someone sent it to me and they're like did you know he got sober and I to be honest I was like no I would listen to that I don't know anything about you I haven't talked to you in 20 years like the amount that we talk about on this podcast makes it seem like I'm thinking about him no it's the only time we talk about it is on this podcast I don't like I just want to clear the

air it's a little bit of a joke but someone said he's sober yeah and so I did listen to the podcast of him talking about getting sober and I honestly felt a lot of pride yeah and I was like as someone who found you ODing in bathrooms and being confused about like, what was wrong with you? Cause I didn't even know you were doing drugs. Cause that's how dumb I was. Like I'm, I'm very happy for people. I don't know if he's still sober. I have no, I have no contact with this man, but I'm very happy. And then what made me mad is that I felt like it's just about me. I've had other people in my life get sober and I've had them that treated me very badly and they've come to me and they made amends. He hasn't made amends with you? He never made amends with

me. That's crazy. And I thought I could have been one of those people that he made amends with. Well, yeah. Cause you dated him for like four years. I don't think so. She's very easy to contact. Very easy to contact. Um, he'd ever made amends and, and, um, and honestly, like, so everyone knows I dated Christina Perry, uh, brother Nick and Nick made amends with me when he got sober and it was one of the most calming, coolest things that someone has ever done for someone. Even like, you know, you wish your ex-boyfriends would do this. A lot of the time in a relationship with an addict, there's a lot of gaslighting. And so to be vindicated by somebody after the fact is very nice. At the time I had no idea that he was even getting sober. So I just

got this random phone call from him on a Tuesday being like, Hey, I know I was really awful to you and I made your life really hard and I wanted to apologize. Like, and you were like, whoa, this is crazy so anyway sorry go ahead that's it oh just that i was a good week and she likes that you are still keeping tabs on it was just like she had so much new info that i didn't know she was sharing as i was driving you guys to the hotel she shared a lot about an ex-girlfriend and then a current girlfriend and it was like a whole but here's the thing the reason is is that the rossies as i call them they like who the rossies it's like the swifties they send me information i never seek it out i never seek it out i never sit on my phone and be like oh i wonder

what ryan ross is doing never but the the super fans of them love to tag me in shit yeah and be like did you know that he's got a new girlfriend look she posted for his birthday and i'm like oh yeah that's that was one you know what i mean yeah yeah i do so it's like i can't get away from it that and cow vaginas you know yeah um okay so i'm very happy for you ryan i'm sure someone will send you this video. I'm happy for you. I, you know, sometimes my other, Christina told me that when you make amends, sometimes it's too much for you to make amends with people so that you, the, you don't, you skip them if it's going to be hurtful for you, to you, to your sobriety. Yeah. Oh, well then maybe that's what's happening, but I highly doubt that you're the person that's

going to, I don't even think he remembers treating me bad. That's like, yeah. No, I think I was like, I think I was a, yeah. Yeah. You know? Yeah. Cause I have guys in New York that I dated that were like obsessed with me that i don't think about but you dated him for years years how long did you date him three and a half years live together multiple christmases not as good as my christmas nope um okay my bad because i'm back to the facebook posts yeah anonymous facebook posts okay again i got confirmation i could post about or talk about this here's the post what is it with men and buttholes and butthole sense i had just come back from the gym and my boyfriend grabs me to kiss and hug me i'm sweaty as and he goes in between my cheeks touches my butthole

sweat pulls out his hand it smells it and says it smells like ass what the did he expect i had just worked out this isn't the first time he's done it and i'm a clean girl by the way i shower two to three times a day but he always goes back there not when i'm fresh out of the shower no he does it when i've come home from a run or a walk or a workout and he always smells his hand after is this normal my exes doesn't have never done this is this a fetish have any of y'all experienced it's a fetish it's definitely not normal but it's some people are really into sweat smell well it's i mean there is that's like a different than a sweat this is different than a sweat smell because it smells like butt i can't think of a worse thing to smell well the fact

the fact that he wanted to die right now he does it he goes it smells like ass like obviously like do you need to know the fact that she lets him close enough to just like finger the butthole in moving actual dogs they're disgusting smell each other's assholes men are dogs and i'm so upset by this they're so gross and also i'm so upset with her why does she have to post this because she was wondering if it was all normal all the posts yeah i will be bringing into my little series are all women that are posting about these weird things that their guys are i shouldn't be judgmental of her well because it's for sharing i get the pheromones like even when i have bo jerd's like loves to smell my bo does he purposely try to smell your bo or he just

doesn't know he just doesn't mind it he'll be oh you smell good difference it's like he doesn't stick it out yeah is different than just being good with it and not minding it but it's also like guys that like like going down on girls when they're not like dirty yeah it's so It is just animalistic, like, like, listen, I think what you should do for Christmas is she gets those leggings that have, that we talked about on the podcast, the little, the little cinch in the butt and she just wears them, wears them working out and then you just give them to him. Whenever you'd like to smell my butthole, enjoy these leggings.

I'm so upset. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. I don't know if I can recover. Hold on. Um, I'm an odor person. It really bothers me.

i hate an odor yeah i hate an odor okay uh my good week is that i did something so grown up and so mature and so maternal i booked a professional photo shoot with myself and my family i'm so excited for this and it's really cool i didn't do like the typical matching outfits matching outfits or like on the beach and white white button downs you know it's a photographer in austin who is so she's so cool she won't shoot anything that's not candid it's all candid photos and so it's like it's like the messiness of your life like you all look beautiful doing it but you know and so it's very editorial it's very cool and ford is a is at an age right now, I'll just be honest. I think Ford, I know Ford is a very, um, highly sensitive child. Like

he is not easygoing, right? There's nothing about him that's easygoing. He is not the kid that's going to run up to you and say, hi, very cautious. He's so reserved. And this was Zach, Zach at his birthday party. When his mom had a bounce house, they were like, where's Zach? And he was in the front yard watering flowers. Cause he just had too much stimulation in the backyard. And he's like why are all these people here yeah so he's so tough that i that i'm like i don't know how this is gonna go right i am so nervous yeah this is going to be a disaster him with santa claus was nope he was the color of santa's suit he was so pissed that he had to be with he takes like a while to warm up to people forever yeah forever he is zach martin so he takes so long and i'm like

this woman's gonna walk in and she's gonna she thinks she knows what it's like to work with children yeah she has four of her own she's never met a kid like this when are you doing it we did it yesterday you guys he was a star a star really he was hamming it up like i've never seen he put on a show that i can't even describe what did you guys like what was your what was your atmosphere like what were you doing where were you so we had two locations she also only shoots it takes an hour that's it oh or less wow there's a little like pond in my neighborhood with a little like fish camp like really rustic and cute and fun with like ducks and stuff so we did that one of them there and he like fed corn to the ducks and like whatever and then we did it in our house like

in different spots in our like in his room playing with his toys with him by the beautiful but big window like and then it ended with him having like a rocket pop like in just a diaper with his like plastic little tykes car outside like driving it yeah so it's like so cute and so stylized but this kid was i zach and i were both like what does this mean that he will not do anything or turn it on for anything but then a camera a professional i was like it was crazy he was like literally looking into the lens and like turning his head and like showing his car no i swear to god and she's like this is supposed to be candid bitch Yeah. She was like, Oh my God. Oh my God. Okay. Oh my God. Like, and then she'd put her camera

down and you'd do something else. She's like, okay. All right. And I'm like, it's you. What is happening? It's me. It's like me and Zach. It's a horrible combination. No, he's Zach in real life. And then in show business, he's you. But you're like that too. I guess. But like he is, he's no pleasantries. Like, you know what I mean? It's so weird. That's so funny. My bad week is this. It's a trend going on an Instagram of, with millennial women. I hate to, I hate to, you know no not us I hate to call us again and it's really maybe Gen Z's doing it but I don't follow any of them I don't think but lately I've been noticing these like micro influencers that I follow doing things like setting up their camera their phone like I imagine against like a lounge

chair or something and then getting into the pool with their family and playing as if they're being caught on camera right so they're like wrestling with their husband in the pool and yeah dealing a smooch and then lifting the kid up in the water and it's a very weird phenomenon and it's been happening in a lot of these these people that i follow where they're trying to make it seem like somebody just caught them having a normal adorable moment but really they've been propping their own phones up unaware of the camera yeah is it supposed to look like it's like the ring cam or something no but it's just like it's just what influencers have always done where it's like like it's me filming an outfit no no because like you're you're telling us you're not going to camera

they're like they basically are setting their phone up and then they're going in the pool and just like acting like nothing nobody's there but to get like this footage that looks like it's but that's what i mean i feel like influencer that's what influencers do like they'll do it with their boyfriend where they like set it up and then you're in the kitchen with your boyfriend yeah there was like a picnic happening on one instagram thing that i follow like a boyfriend, girlfriend picnic. And they literally just set up a camera behind them and caught like the moments of the picnic. And I'm just like, so weirded out by this. Yeah. It's also just like when you're crying and they're like, let me pull my phone out. Yeah. I love to

cry on the phone. Yeah. It's just, it's strange. I really want to find the one in particular. It was specifically in a pool. Um, and other people also when other people are around, it makes me feel weird because i'm like they're just watching you pretend to like it's making your own reality show that's what it feels like yeah so huh um okay well on that note it's weird sorry millennial women on that note you can't have it all which is stassi's new book she's here after the break to discuss now back to the lady gang our guest today is a truth-telling icon in fact when you Google her name and add Lady Gang, the first delicious bite that Google gives us is Stassi tells her short horror story from an episode of Lady Gang TV. And I'm sure she's so excited back

with us classy bitches today. She once tried to steal my Emmy and now you can have it because I have three and she's an absolute OG of our podcast life. She was the seventh, seventh person ever to appear on Lady Gang almost a decade ago, but life has drastically changed for the HBIC. She's moved on from reality TV to dominate the New York Times bestseller list and continues her chart-topping podcast. She's got a brand new book that is fantastic. You guys, you can't have it all. It is out today. It's all about rethinking the girl boss life, taking the pressure off, and lessons she's learned since becoming a mom of two. Welcome back to the podcast, our OG queen. thank you so many thoughts who wrote that me that was great that's that honestly that seemed like it

took a lot of time it did thank you um seventh guest my kids are both born on the seventh so that like whenever i have seven to me that just like really means something um cool to begin with the sharding yeah you just popped it right i needed to bring you down because i knew you were gonna show up in a chanel flat which you did no disappointment there with like the fancy rings and you had that glamorous wedding year on your third book both of your books first two hit the New York Times bestseller list unlike ours no only the first one second time a bomb and so you know I need to bring you down before I build you back up you know what I mean I hear you I hear you no I appreciate it you know I stay humble yeah I need to stay home yeah you need to stay humble

because it's you're magical you know I know that I don't need to stay humble you know there have been too many times where I've had to be humble yeah no I think you should be so excited so okay back to the mom talk sorry we're like so this i know it's so mind-numbing as a mom i'm just gonna crack this diet coke over here i get insecure about this over here stage right like tell me more also i want all the moms to know as well that like i also find it mind-numbing to not be talking about the exact era of my momming that i'm in right now for sure like i don't want to talk to anybody about their newborns yeah no i'd rather talk about j-lo right so but then if it's like talking about like me right now wrestling with like do i have one kid do i have two kids

like that's something that i'm like could literally talk about till i'm blue in the face selfishly i need to have information and i'm collecting information from all the moms and stassi what do you think because i just had met ford um you know it takes me like a year he's two he's two and i met him for the first time which is so sad that's like kind of she's in austin i live in austin now i didn't know that yeah okay which is okay we all made those like big life changes she so i hadn't met him but like then when i saw them together i literally looked back i was like do not this up with another kid like he is you're saying the opposite he is perfect and they're so happy and there's four hands two bait one baby like it just makes sense but then you're saying

two you i really see both sides of it so like you're gonna get zero clarity from me i know okay i would have way more i'd have more children if i had like half a billion dollars land in my lap. You know, if I could have help all the time and I could travel, I could go do things with my husband whenever I wanted to like hold his hand. Yeah. Literally like what he wants to hold my hand. I'm like, don't touch me. I'm touched out. I'm touched out. So like if I had a huge amount of wealth, I would keep having babies, but that's not the world we live in right now. And there are times when, you know, we do have help. We do have a nanny. Yeah. Obsessed Sonia. She's like the best thing that ever happened to us and I'm so lucky to have her like would die if she left there are

times when she's with Messer and we get to like take Hartford out places and I think to myself like wow we could literally be traveling the world we could be doing so many things but then we go back home and I see Hartford and Messer interact and play with each other and cuddle each other and they're so obsessed with each other and I'm like just wait in a few years both of them will be able to be living that life with us. You're right. You're right. Cause I fall into the trap as well. Not that it's a trap, but I definitely get obsessed with the idea of Zach and I have not had to adjust our lifestyles that much. Right. You know, it's like easier to ask my parents or the nanny to watch one kid and us go to Europe or whatever the thing is. It's like such like

champagne problems. And I get caught up. I always catch on the, like, I just life is, his not like I'm happy with like this amount of sacrifice I've made does the second one yeah it's worse it's like it was way harder for me to go from no I appreciate one to two then from zero to one but I also think I had my baby Hartford and COVID so like all I had to do was be a mom was be a mom at home um so it wasn't that hard right it gave me something to do instead of just like watch like binge watch another show again so like I had purpose um but no two it's like you and your husband if you're not talking now then like you're really because one of you has to always be on the other one but that's just a season that's just a season and then there are

times when Bo and I like we finally took them both to Universal Studios like a few weeks ago and I'm like this is the most magical day like we did it we're out of like that one season and we're in a new one do you find peace in like those family moments where like now ford's like starting to play on his own he's like really kind of self-sufficient and so zach and i can sit there and like have a glass of wine at night together do you get that like again with two yeah you do there are always these moments there are always moments you figure out your rhythm you figure out your routine i'm a very scheduled yeah routine oriented mother like i'm a psychopath i put everything in an app and I make our nanny put it in. I make both so that like, I know exactly when

he's having his bottle, when he's eaten, when he's pooped, when he's napped, like I don't have to ask anyone any questions. And so because I know what his schedule and routine is going to be like, I can then predict your own. Yeah. And I can be like later on tonight we can watch something together because I know he's going to go to sleep at this time. Okay. You know, yeah. You just figure it out and you survive. But I've never heard anyone be like, I regret my kid. I don't know. well people would never say that we have people who regret having kids at all the people in our facebook group are like i would never say this to anyone else but like i and don't enjoy being a mom i didn't need to be a mom that's in the lady secrets book okay well if anyone had ever read

it i already know that i love being a mom right okay so it's like there you go yeah i don't think anyone has ever regretted their kid who who wanted to be a mom right right yes that's very fair and valid i not everyone wants to be a mom yeah and some people think they want to and then they have Or they get pressured by society and they feel like, oh, my purpose on earth is to be a mom. And I did it because my whole family was like, I'm married. When are you going to have a kid? It's what you're supposed to do. And then I realized that maybe this isn't the calling for me.

Yeah, no. Whenever anyone asks me, should I have a kid without already having one? I'm like, you better really fucking want that kid. You better really want it because your whole life is not your own anymore. You can't sleep in. You can't do whatever you want to do. You can't go meet the girlies for brunch, like, you know, in a half an hour. like yes you can if you plan it ahead of time yes of course but like yeah it's you really have

to want your kid you do yeah um i want to talk about the book i have so much because this is like very speaking to my soul but first i want to give the people what they want and we need to go back because you are an og of lady gang i need to talk about the wedding and this wedding dress okay can we just go back for a second because the book is you can't have it all but you did you had it all at the wedding and you talk actually about the wedding yes in the book quite a bit about how you like it was at this time in your life you had to pull back and you talk about kind of this whole thing but i have to tell you that of all the celebrities i've ever seen a wedding you are the blueprint i send your wedding dress to the young girls that are like i

don't know what i want for a dress i literally just sent it to tanya rad and i was like get a dress like this what a fantasy you were that is so fabulous one of the biggest most amazing compliment like right under like you're the best mom to ever exist my wedding dress and my wedding oh my god because it it was supposed to be so much yes more and ended up being exactly what you needed what I needed and exactly there was not one moment whenever I hear brides talk about how like they were stressed or got in a fight with someone or like this didn't work or they I'm like I had zero zero negative zero stresses or anything go wrong like it was I just fully I think it was just so like grateful to be there so grateful that it actually happened at all yeah

but I'm like we could have had like paper plates I'm like I'm fine like I'm just we made it here but until I read the book I did not know that it was supposed I didn't even know it it was supposed to be televised it was supposed to be the segue for like a whole show whole show yeah yeah and so it was going to be huge 400 people like all this stuff 400 people I don't know that many people okay and um yeah but but like it was supposed to be a big deal a big deal yes and then you downsized and then I just like 30 people well I just feel like all the people that think they want a big wedding no the pictures are just as gorgeous correct no listen this is the thing you don't spend any of your time being like oh I have to go say hi to this person or I have

to go do this because you've already, when it's like a small wedding, you've already been hanging out with each other. You don't care. You're just like living in it. Everyone's kind of, everyone's fine. There is no pressure to really do anything or be anything. Small weddings are, I can't, my wedding was so much fun. I could not recommend a small wedding enough.

Yeah. Cause I've had two weddings. My first wedding when I was 20 was massive, huge, the ballroom, the everything and like hated it. I mean, it was a different situation, but Chris and I got married in our friend's backyard and we had 42 people. So it was a very similar thing. And I agree, like everyone there, for the most part, I'm still friends with, they're

still in my life. Like when I look back on it, it doesn't age in a weird way because I'm like, oh, these are all still my people. Um, it's, it's just really amazing. And the thing is, is that what people don't realize is that when you go back and look at your wedding, you really only look at the picture of you and your husband. Like you don't look at all like the table settings and the like, sure. It's nice to have all those things.

Oh, you do. I loved it. okay so it wouldn't have been okay to have paper plates so no yeah no I say that but but no no my tablescape was was stunning and I literally sometimes go back to my Instagram and I scroll and I'm like let's just go look at that again remember how I said no to that tablecloth and I was so wrong and I'm so glad they didn't listen to me oh I love it um what do you remember from that day like what is the I mean the dress was insane you were the first person I ever saw that did a detachable sleeve thank you um just being chilled yeah like just literally not care not

giving a shit yeah like it was really just not caring I didn't feel I wasn't like yes I was nervous to do the first dance because like I really suck at that but I had told our friend please let Hartford run into our dance that I don't have to do it because I think just there's nothing more awkward than watching a couple dance so awkward especially when you're not good at it the longest song of your life you'll ever hear and you're like it's still going it's still going yeah no that was the only thing I had to be worried about so like it was just fun and Aperol spritzes oh that's it so great okay great so third book I have written literally like quotes that I want to read you and get your but this book basically explained to everyone what the book

is about um so it's you can't have it all basically I realized during 2020 and you know a little after that like I was striving so hard I was trying so hard to be perfect at everything to always be accomplishing more always be doing more socializing more wearing more expensive things like it was just constant and in 2020 it's like you none of us could do that none of us could do that some people could but like I especially could not do that and I realized that there were so many days that I was so much happier not doing it and not caring and like the more that I stopped caring and the more that I stopped like pressuring myself the more I started just like finding the joy in little things and then I I'm like this is kind of what life's about I'm like I can't believe I

thought that I wanted to be this have an empire yes where it's like I I still have dreams and ambitions right but I don't need to be always doing more like my least favorite question is like so what else are you doing like what i'm doing is enough right now existing breathing like what the are you talking about like what i'm doing is enough right now and that's such a hollywood question yeah you know i mean like i've got to be a multi-hyphenate how dare you just have one project seriously yeah like the stress you are technically doing that now with a third book yeah which was a mind let me just tell you guys so what when i say this was the hardest book to write of course because while i was writing it i'm like the very thing i'm writing

about is exactly what I'm doing. The very act of writing a book is girl bossy. And I was pregnant and postpartum. So like, I'm pushing myself too hard. I'm, I'm, I'm not following my own advice. So I had so many meltdowns over. I'm like, I'm a fraud. I'm a fraud. And that's why I had to put in there. I'm like, I'm also writing this book for myself because I am trying to teach myself this lesson. And sometimes I'm able to quickly have that mentality when I catch myself being like you should be doing more and I can catch myself but other times I still panic I'm like you should be doing more yeah you know yeah but also this book is something it's like a it's sort of a love letter to yourself and also to other women and like giving giving people the opportunity

and like allowing them to be okay with not like copying some weird archetype that we've been like shown but like with us with the podcast it's like when you find meaning in what you're doing and like you're you're affecting people's lives in a positive way that's not ambitious that's like actually like the where you find your soul's purpose in a cheesy way is like putting yourself out there so that it can help someone else find their joy or find their meaning or find their purpose or whatever I don't know if that makes any sense at all but for sure if that's your intention behind the book it's like for yourself and also to help other women be okay with not being psycho girl bosses. And this is a lesson that we like all seriously, we all need to calm

down. Millennial women need to calm the f*** down. Even like all the, like the playdates I go on with moms. I'm like, you guys, you need to calm down. We need to relax. I know. I feel so sad for the millennial moms who actually are still striving to get their moment in the sun. Like I have women in my life who I love, who seem to have everything that they I've ever wanted. They have things that I still am striving for, like in their lives, like the fullness of their lives, like their beautiful, complete family. And they're pregnant, like all these things. And they're still trying to be bloggers. And I'm like, I'm so sad right now that you have three beautiful children. Yeah. A beautiful life, a full life. You're doing so much that I would love to be doing right now.

And you're trying to sell things on Amazon like I am. Wait, no, that's how I feel about really wealthy people that go on reality TV. I'm like, you guys, why we go on reality TV to get money, to like get money. Yeah. Like I'm writing a book. Let me be clear. I'm also writing books to get money. I am not mother Teresa.

Okay. So let's be very clear. You have to make a living. No, these are the women. They're like really wealthy. And I'm like, why do you have a like to know it? Why do you have a like to know it link? I just can't wrap my mind around it that you still want a like to know it link yeah no I I

really feel that I I that I feel it in my bones I want them to read your book when you see me though continue working like it's not like I'm gonna go live the trad wife life like I'm I'm I would be we have mortgages let's be clear I have and I I like I like to work yeah I just can't live in this like way that I was that it's like you always need to be working on the next thing yeah like that's what kills me yes yeah and granted we all have some people are driven by different things maybe we're just driven by something else than the blogger moms who they're already so wealthy they have it all but maybe they're driven by fame attention and maybe attention and maybe that's that thing and that's fine yeah maybe that is more their their like soul's purpose

which is fair we all have different ones like some people are driven by money I think I'm like driven by like a sense of control like yeah you know I want to have control or like some sort of power yeah like that excites me yeah you know I get it yeah I'm being judgmental because it's like we are being judgmental I am I am the you have your like to know it it's you wear cute you wear cute outfits fine if you make 48 a day that you don't need that you could wipe your ass with it's not my business you know what I just don't get it no I know but I also think it's like there's a little bit of um it's easy for us to say that because we've all been like we've had three of us we've each reached the peak of like you know right huge reality star one of the biggest tv

shows of all time i mean me um but like but you know what i mean but we're trying to tell them like we're giving you a shortcut that it actually isn't great it doesn't do anything for like it But I guess you can't tell people that. You can't. But your book probably will help this. People have to climb Mount Everest. I think so. But people have to climb Mount Everest and be like, oh, I could have looked at the Google

images online. Like, probably a better experience. Do you know what I mean? For sure. Like, it seems so amazing when it's happening. And it is amazing in its own way. Yes. But no one.

And I'm not. Listen, we're not saying give up. We're not saying give up. Yeah. And like, just chill. And yeah, just chill the f*** out. You know, relax. What gave you.

Take a deep breath. I wanted to know what, from each of us, what gave you the most anxiety about girl bossing? The fact that there was no cap on it. It's like, there's no, there's no like, okay, you've hit it and you're there. So there is no finish line. There's no finish line. You just have to keep going and keep going and keep girl bossing and keep girl bossing. Like it just never ends.

Mine is, and it's so funny because I also went through the, the, it doesn't matter moment of my life. and I feel like I'm on the other side and I've I've like done so much work on myself to where I really don't feel like I'm competing with anyone other than myself and even that's like kind of stupid because I'm really not competing with myself I'm just trying to be better and I see articles the other day Aaron and Sarah Foster their favorite daughter line was cut they did a feature on their line and it was like something along the lines of they're headed toward a billion dollar industry I saw that and that instantly gave me I love both of them I think that they're

both wonderful and they work their asses off and it's deserve it that the line is amazing yeah they've crushed it there was a piece of me that was like shit I could have worked harder me too not like us like lady gang I'm like we've been squandered opportunity like what have we been doing and I'm like but what like I have those are the moments for me where I have to stop and say it's just not my business. Like it's just not, I can't girl boss because I can barely mom boss and do a podcast. Let's be realistic. I'm so glad you said that. And I want to tell you about my growth. I felt exactly the same way. And I was like, God, we could have done, God, we'd never invented our thing that like is our $50 million. And then I was like, literally normal Kelty would

just be like, and then I would be mad at myself for like a year. And we would have gotten like 85 emails. I'd be like, guys, we got it. Did you see this? Instead I looked at, I was like walking here in the backyard. And I looked out and I was like, yeah, but like with that comes a lot of employees and a lot of problems. And like, I'm planning on going to the Galapagos at Christmas to see like the baby seals. And I was like, I really do want to be able to shut my phone off for two weeks. And I couldn't do that if I like, what a growth. That's huge for you. Huge for me. Yes. Cause I'm so competitive. And I was like, now we need to like, but I was like, you know what? I'm so happy for them and they probably have great staff and whatever, but like

it is i have enough on my plate and i'm perfectly content with this so i write about this in the book like when i feel success fomo that's what i call it oh i love it so what i do and is i literally imagine i'm like and i i heard this on the skinny confidential so like i have to credit them with this but i imagine that like okay well if i want what they have that means i would have to like fully switch lives it wouldn't even be your life anymore it would be a totally different life yeah and I love my life so much and I love not you know obviously there are days where like this sucks you know but if you imagine like okay well then you'd have to switch lives switch your kids switch your husbands your girlfriends or whatever switch your friends so it's like there's

no point of really feeling like that jealousy or FOMO or competition because we're all on our different journeys well and you look at someone like lauren and i know that that comes easy to her i know like from skinny confidential i look at her life and i am i'll see like her listing out all the things she drinks the way the anxiety that i have so many times to be here with a cute instagram story no no and the tagging things you guys i went to disneyland yesterday with harvard and i couldn't get one story out yeah i was literally just like brain dead and i'm like how are there people that can boast all day and tech all of the things and still be present in their lives? I'm like, I can't do it. That's also like, know thyself that gives her fuel. Like she is

somebody who was born to be this way. It doesn't drain her. I mean, I'm sure she has days where she's drained. She lives to create content. Like she was one of the original content creators, influencers, lifestyle, wellness, whatever in that way. So it's also like knowing what you are naturally drawn to do. Like I was like after Glee ended and I did like a fashion blog, everybody on my team was like, let's meet with these people. Let's do the like to know it. Let's do the blah, blah, blah. And I was like, for a while I was like, I can't, I cannot make myself enjoy this. I, I hate taking a picture. I literally hate taking a picture. Why am I going to create an entire empire of me in pictures. Like what the, it was wrong with me. But I would

sit there for years after and look at all the like something navies. And I'm like, I had a platform already. Like I literally looked at it. Like you squandered that opportunity. You could have been in Nordstrom or whatever. And then I sit there and I'm like, that is not who I am. I hate everything that that job entails. And it's like the same thing with Lauren. I'm like, I would hate that should be my day-to-day yeah she arrives yes i think we're all i think it's just hard for us as specifically because us we do the same things where it's like what do you even call us yeah to like i hate the word influencer but you could say podcaster but we do more than that like whatever like just content are you calling yourself i don't have a person human i don't lady lady boss

no a i mean you're a public figure yeah but we're we're all thinking like oh this is the only formula of like two successes like that is just so not true like yeah something like i've realized the way that you don't like taking photos it's like i like breaks yeah i like going really hard on something and then i like a really long break yeah i love it yeah there's something there's a tight there's a coined term in your book girl failure yes can you discuss girl failure okay this one's gonna be really confusing because i have a list of people and under this girl failure this this because it's not like a full chapter okay but i and all of them are different because it's girls that women who have failed and like are in prison or like women who have failed and

come back and are better than ever like martha stewart was in prison but then came back and like, holy shit, you made like a nativity set in prison and I bought it for $150. Like they literally like it, like she replicated it. Like that's, that's insane. Or girl failures that are just people who, who we think of, like when we look at them, like the way that people look at Kourtney Kardashian and Meghan Markle as if they're girl failures, like that they're squandering opportunities where I'm like, no, no, no. Like they have it all figured out. Like Kourtney Kardashian, while you look at her next to Kim Kardashian and Kylie and Kendall or whatever, you think like oh she's the less of the boss the less yes but look she's probably the happiest

she's probably the happiest and she has life figured out so while you're looking at her saying she's the girl failure not so much same with Meghan Markle not so much right like I have like there's all these different examples of girl failures and I hate to like put some of them in the same category because like literally Taylor Swift is in the same list as Anna Delvey which is like so f***ed up but if when you read it hopefully people understand yeah um but I'm just fascinated by girl failures and people who like either remain there people who come out of there people who were tested and like kept getting girl failures and then like 20 years later they're like look at me now like yeah it's interesting the megan markle because it's we're so fed the narrative

that like this is not what she wants she doesn't she's forced to live in montecito with her husband and her kids making jam but she actually wants to be in the limelight isn't it preserves it's preserve it's not jam i thought it was jam we're all calling it jam are we okay i'm not sure anyway whatever she feels really pedestrian for her i feel like preserved but like maybe she went in the royal family the way you went into your fashion blog and then realized it's not for me i hate this so much and i want to go back to montecito sorry making jam in montecito sounds great i want to do that with her chicken yes and her two kids like what yeah and we all still know who she is and she can literally do whatever she wants yes yeah you know yeah like get the

out of here people saying like she's living your truth because i look at even the kardashians i feel like this also kim kardashian is probably the equivalent of lauren everett's you know like it it feeds her soul to be a beast in an m like an empire she wants to be driving to the met gala being like i really wanted our first photo together to be here because i'm like master planet or like yeah she loves that she's very passionate about that for that it probably brings her a lot of joy yeah so it really is like it's like what level are you operating where you're just authentically doing what you want to be doing i just think we all we don't all need to be doing the same things yeah and like that's fine yeah do you okay so there's there's a couple

parts of the book I want to talk about so um in you can't have it all you sort of in the beginning you say like this is not an anti-girl boss book you say I love ambitious women who go after everything she wants plus I'm no stranger to hustle culture myself but I do have a question to ask and Stassi says after the brutal stressful chaotic years we've all collectively experienced since the pandemic is being a boss bitch with all her shit together. Really the vibe. I know I'm not the only one who's high key tired, high key tired. Yeah. Feels like something we all need to discuss like high key tired. Like we're not really allowed to admit that it's overwhelming. Yes. And if you admit that it's overwhelming, then you've somehow failed. And then also like, I know in what I do,

I have a job that so many people want. Like I know people auditioned and tried to get this job and they're like, Oh, she got it. And I didn't. So like, I get, I'm very grateful for what I do, but I also am high key tired. And like, you're not allowed to have those two things at the same time. For sure. Because if you admit that you're high key tired, then like, Oh, someone's there ready to take your spot. But like, we are tired and we do need breaks and we don't talk. And not just with our careers, just like I'm high key tired of everything of just feeling like I have to be doing everything right like being a great wife being a great mom being a great friend which I'm like not like being a great sister I'm not like yeah like they're they're always gonna be

things in our lives that are that are suffering and I'm just tired of all of us not talking about that like that's it why do you think we do that is it is it a woman's we're competitive with each other we don't want to admit failure um I mean I think that like if we really like thought deep about it you know i feel like it started with like you know it's like women get to work we have like what's that movie in the 80s um working girl yeah where it's like we like start feeling like everyone started women started feeling empowered and and they wanted to be their their own boss and then we have you know social media come out and then with social media we all have access to what each other are doing at all times and so there's just been this like whole like our culture

has just been women trying to, to be as equal as men, if not better, you know what I mean? We, we have something to prove. And so when does the, where's the limit on that? And again, watching all of us watching each other do it like in real time, like that's kind of crazy. Like never have women or anyone human beings had to watch everybody else and what they're doing and accomplishing. Like, you know, like bring me back to a time where someone had to send a Raven to my house to like let me know invite me to a party they made muffins like well it's also like we're not showing our work like you know you know in math problems they're like give me the answer but I need to to see you show your work oh yeah I know that was the worst it was the worst yeah

but like I guess that's what I'm obsessed with now is that I I really want women and that's part of admitting you're exhausted like my sister is a partner at a law firm she works her ass off she's always high key tired. Like her life is high key tired. But then she started like sharing these little tips and tricks and things. Cause she's like, I'm so desperate. I'm literally paying someone to come over to my house and fold laundry. Like there's, they have one job. It's to fold laundry. I'm so embarrassed. It took her years to admit this to her friends, but it's like, no, everyone appreciates it. You're showing your work, you're admitting your defeat. And you're also being like, and here's what goes on behind the scenes of me also making a shit ton

of money and working and looking like a girl boss. I have to pay someone to fold my husband's underwear for me, like a stranger. So there's all these things that I'm like, I want to see you, like, how do you get your highlight reel? Like what's all the shit underneath it? It's the nanny conversation too. It's coming down to where like, great, you're on a beautiful tropical vacation. I, first of all, I will never wrap my mind around people who go on vacations with toddlers to expensive tropical vacations and look like they're having the time of their lives. have you done this no not a tropical no we we took harvard to our wedding so we took her to italy with us and right it's a little different it's your wedding like that's really pretty

important um but i still would i would do it again i would like if it wasn't my wedding you would bring her to italy yes because seeing and have fun yes because seeing like her look at everything and experience things and run around the places that me and Bo love to visit there even though like one of those people even though you're like navigating a nap um like what yeah it's hard but like I I really I'm sorry yeah like I love watching my kids like but don't you think she'd see that at like the at the grove she'd have the same reaction we go there once a week yeah for sure um this is a you thing this is it's a you're the people that I cannot understand I don't understand it either I'm like I can't if you posted a video of Hartford like staring at

like the like the Eiffel Tower which I have I brought her there I look at that and I'm like and those were like the show me the work like show me what's underneath this picture because I would wear some meltdown on the train shell of a woman I would be a shell I can barely take my kid to Whole Foods without feeling like I've been defeated no I I really feel this and like when I tell you it's obviously not as fun as when you can just go without your kids yeah but you kind of just you make it work and you work around the nap and there have been times that like I brought her back to the hotel and we like sat in silence in the dark but we were just like so happy to be on vacation then I was like it I don't care you know like yeah I just really and I also think that like

showing my kids new experiences in new places I feel like it will just like soak into them and like inform who they are and that's important to me you can wait till they're like seven for that I just like so I never saw the ocean till I was 18 and I am like very successful so I just want to like throw that out there oh my god you know what but here's the thing you do you yeah no you do you no it's the flight that's the it's the flights that are the worst right that's it like it's that's what the hell is and like even right now like me and beau are talking about like should we go to italy and bring them to italy my he has a he's from italy also so he has dual citizenship so we're like let's go see his family i'm like but the flight yeah with the baby and

hartford yeah like what in the like you can't have a glass of wine you can't eat your meal no you can't hell you can't do anything that's a flying prison but that 10 hours if you go into it like those 10 hours are gonna suck so bad and then you get to like have your family in Italy like that's just I mean I get it I want to be I want to do that but I cannot I am like I am not wired the way I would be on that flight and I would fake a blood clot I'd be like turn this fucking thing around like I am so I would like spiral I'm the mom that will literally just be waiting it's like a self-fulfilling prophecy where I'm like this is gonna suck so bad this is gonna suck so bad it's gonna be this this and this and I can like try to be optimistic going in but then

the one thing starts to unravel and I'm like it's fucking over it's happening it's happening and then it happens yeah for sure no it's hard I just like I'm one of those I appreciate that it exists Cause when I see the pictures of the Turks and Caicos, I'm like, you're fucking lying. You're fucking miserable right now. And you wish you had sent your kids with their grandparents. I have a new argument. Okay. Well, there is that when you're lucky enough to have like your grandparents able to watch.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. One or more of your kids. Like 100% there is that. But I also will say bringing my kids on vacation is more fun than us spending the day at home. The two weeks at home when they're on school. Like, I would rather fill the day being stressed in a new location than being stressed.

You guys are really selling motherhood. Having to go to the Grove again. Do you know what I mean? Yes, yes, yeah. I'd rather be in Italy doing that. Okay. All right. You know what?

That is a, that's a perspective I have not had before and I am adopting because you're right. I think we have to like, we have to fill the day with activities. I don't want to do an AstroTurf in my own backyard with mosquitoes. Like, I could do that in Italy. Yes. I could do it in Italy. I could do it in Italy.

you're listening to the lady gang there's a part of the book where you talk about and you said i love this so much i don't know if you wrote this when you were exhausted or were really present for it but this is brilliant you said or maybe my algorithm is set to a make stassi insecure setting it's really hard to watch so many people on social media live what looks like a dream light they look like they have it all how do they have access to a yacht that's wonderful all the time i was like everyone does how when did everyone collectively decide no everyone we follow on instagram they're going on a yacht and they all have a birkin bag i'm sure you do i'm sure you do too i don't have a birkin i'm way too poor for that are you kidding me when

did everyone no collectively decide we were saving our money for birkin bags like i'm gonna tell you a little secret i'm gonna tell everybody everybody needs to know this the birkins listen there are girl bosses i'm not taking away from anyone's success the birkins and the yachts that's called generational wealth that's called they married a finance guy i resent my parents me too all the time i'm like give it to me now while you're alive so you can see me enjoy it not that it would get me a yacht or a birkin but i'm just saying there are there is not one girl boss that's girl bossing so hard unless there's an article about her selling her company for 200 million dollars right that is buying a birkin with money she got from like to know it okay it's 100

true it's not a fucking thing it's not and i'll tell you if you want names i'll give you names that made me feel so much better it doesn't exist so i just i i should not have married for love no i mean either we made such a mistake pissed about it if i had just waited a few more years i could have could have been burke no i literally was on a flight just a few weeks ago and i i was flying back from europe and it was like i could spend the flights were so expensive it was the last minute thing i was like i could spend ten thousand dollars on this flight and fly in business which i hate to fly internationally not in business or i could just buy the thing and coach and then i was literally like i could buy a birkin but i did the responsible thing business no oh i flew

didn't even buy the birkin i didn't buy the birkin i put that money in my savings or wherever it's gonna go and i was like we don't have generational wealth no that's why because i've bought it's almost like what you talk about in the book i've bought all the nice things i went into the chanel store at lennon heathrow one time and i bought a brand new chanel bag and it was 5500 and i've use that bag twice it's always that one and I'm like the way I use I use my used Chanel bags the ones I got on like the real real or whatever use them all the time but the one I bought at the store in Paris that I'm so proud of that I had to call my bank and say I'm about to do this big purchase I literally have worn it just under five times and I'm like I have all this beautiful

jewelry and I have all this stuff and then I look at my real life and I was like I get up every morning and I put on phabletics and I go for a dog walk and I do some work and then I take my Fabletics to E and they put an outfit on me. So I don't, and then I put my Fabletics back on and I put pajamas on. There's no need for multiple Chanel bags in my life. Like there really is no need for even one truly. And I was like, I bought the fancy sunglasses, lost them. Like the only thing I would say is worth the money, to be honest, is the skincare. Yeah. I'm big on the skincare and those things like I'll and hair color and hair color. Well, you know, um, but anyway, my point being is like it's great to have a Birkin but like the people I wouldn't know the amount I don't

feel like I've touched one I've never even touched one actually I think maybe like Heather's bro came in and I was like let me touch it but also the cool thing about a Birkin is that you're supposed to hold it with the flap open like you're never supposed to close it up oh yeah no I know but then like your shit falls out so like is this like the best use of a purse like should we just not get a backpack we've you guys we've we've passed the the Birkin era like we maybe when we're like you think we made it through we made it through we made it out the other end we had an assistant who was like canvas bags only they're used from goodwill like that's the next generation coming up they don't care about a handbag that'll age you the way that a that a short sock is going to

age you a chanel bag is also going to age you wait hold on the way i long for the days of the short sock i'm so happy it's over i know because like the big scrunchie that just makes me look like i don't like it it's good for my proportions weirdly so i'm not for others yeah no i ankle saw girly okay the very last uh sorry to get off our high horse the last thing i want to talk about from the book is this part of um you can't have it all which it this is very beautiful what you wrote you said what i didn't realize until i was off the show and in the actual real world is that when you're on a show like that your emotional intelligence goes way down like down to the bottom of the ocean where no animals or plants can survive except goblin sharks and sea cucumbers

because you get all this attention from producers and then the public for every little thing you you do or say, and you get used to thinking that everything you do or say matters and that everyone on the planet cares. And you become so self-absorbed that when you're having conversations with other people, all you do is really focus on yourself. Think about it. You know, those straight to camera confessionals you see on reality shows, the ones where we talk about every little thing that's happening in that episode. How could that not make you feel like everything in your life is important? I love you sharing this bit because I don't think I've ever read or heard someone explain reality tv and like the mind people are like oh the haters you get haters and how do you

deal with that but like how do you deal with the internal of like believing your own kool-aid or like your own and then your your come down from that obviously well documented was so harsh and so it's like cutting that off in the vein of like everyone cares about every little thing i say and then now oh god what am i going to do and then having the option to maybe come back and then not like this was very interesting to read this so what people who are probably still in it don't know this about themselves like it took me a while to recognize that by like still being around people that are in it where i would try and have a normal conversation and it could never be normal and it always came back to them or the show or something dramatic or just like

it I'm like holy shit was I like this the whole time I'm like obviously I was like this the whole time where I just felt like every thought I had mattered and that if I was at a dinner table and like there's like 10 other people there that like they wanted to hear what I had to say you know like it was such like a moment of being around some of my friends that are still in it and being like it not everyone's like this like when you get out of the show and it's you go into the real world and we all need to like care about each other yeah we have to you know be mindful of one another we like sometimes everything that you think doesn't matter yeah but like i don't fault anyone for it because how could they how could they see that when they're still in it because

you are rewarded for bad behavior you are constantly told say whatever is on your mind whatever you're thinking is is your truth so say it so say it say it say it say it say it say it Like never keep anything to yourself. So how can you not be a complete asshole, you know? Well, it's like, it's like homecoming queen syndrome. It's a lot of these people that peaked in high school because they were the most popular. Everyone wanted to sit with them and they thought that like they would hold court and why wouldn't that go on for the rest of their lives?

Right. So you meet these people who've now like entered the real world and we don't care what the homecoming has to say. Homecoming queen has to say anymore, but they don't get the message as quickly. yes and it's like reality tv is like one big they get stuck and stunted in that place and it's like very interesting it's in hollywood too it's like actors as well because they're like well somebody i did a press tour for 12 hours and people didn't stop asking me questions i'm like well that's their job for sure yes they aren't listening to anything you're saying either but

you don't know that you're too much in that bubble but it's crazy and i say this with like the most love in my heart of all the people to like get out and be like the most grounded about it. Shocking. It's truly shocking. I don't know. I don't know whether to be offended or I mean it with love, but it's like, I mean, you are deep. Yes. You're deep. Like you are main character energy and had been on television for so long, like iconic in that character. So for you to get out and be like wait a second i don't know if this is for me i'm really just into momming and and doing these books and stuff and like i was honestly shocked when i saw you on jeff lewis and you're like i'm not going back to tv like i'm not well i didn't say i wouldn't go back to tv i

it was very specific about like no the valley does not feel right for me yeah i could there is a world where tv would work if it was right for me got it all for all of the things involved like i'm not gonna i selfishly would like for you to go on the valley to show janet who the real stassi is oh man poor janet she's so nice and relaxed i feel so bad i just feel so bad that everyone is like she's trying to be the stassi and it's just not working i'm like this is so crazy you've become like an actual like you're a verb type i didn't even like really think about it like that when housewives go on and they're like well i'll be like the bethany she's like she didn't say it but everyone's like she's trying to be this tossy that is a big uh that's a big

coup okay even though you're over it and it doesn't matter anymore but i will tell you i will just end here i will say i think this book is a great jumping off platform for whatever empire no for whatever no no because listen in this interview you said i like to go hard and then I like to break. There's nothing like filming a season of a show and then taking a break. And so if you are open to TV, I think there's a new era of reality television, which is less about tables and fighting and sitting down in that thing and showing the real life. I think that's why the Valley did really well. Like I want to see your messy mom life. I want to see that. I want to see your anti-girl bossing. I want to see like you taking your kids on it like that. I don't know

if you could put your kids on TV, but like, I'm very interested in, like you said, seeing the work, the less glamour i'm not as following the reality shows there as like everyone's perfect everyone's in their outfit they're in their heels like i tried to watch selling oc and i was like they're too beautiful like it's just it's not feeling real like i'm in the real reality vibes right now and i think this could be you know i always wonder that because i just feel since i've been out of it i'm like god are people still wanting to see this type of like petty or dirty or dark like drama this like i'm exhausted of it like i'm exhausted of it like i remember seeing like the megan and harry documentary and just like seeing her with her um her phone with the two

baby monitors on it and then she like went outside they're like they're both down and seeing them interact i was like i want to see a reality show like this like i i want to see this i want to see a family documentary i loved it too and i'm like am i the only one that wants to see something like this i want it to be nutso banana salt lake city like monica garcia like that or i want to see like real life that i feel less bad about myself i think that's why i talk a lot about how much i hate vanderpump now and it's like because it's living between those two worlds is that it's too real it's not produced like it's gotten so dark because it's gotten so real that i but i'm like this is not an everyday this is like a very i don't know if i'm saying this right but it's

you want escapism i want to or you want real real like most people's lives are not that dark right so like yeah i want either insanity or like light easy real you know ish a relatable ish not whatever this dumpster fire and toxicity like i'm so i like hope the show literally never comes back and i it's horrible because we've had people from the show come on here but i am like sad for them i'm sad for the i'm sad for all of it because it's like the dark i don't want the darkness it's too dark i get it yeah i get it yeah and that's a lot of people who are still homecoming queen and don't realize uh on that note summer you can't have it all the basic bitch guide to taking the pressure off september 10th well it's today wearing this today congrats congratulations

it's pub day okay congratulations the book is fantastic it's got really cute drawings and graphs and all the things that you would expect from you the cover is great and you crushed it again um we're very happy for you thank you for coming on lady gang let's support our girl for a third new york times bestseller thank you yes very happy to have you look beautiful congratulations on everything and we will see you next tuesday thank you so much for listening the lady gang is produced by steve delameter stacy para jared monaco and social support from amy ryerson it really means the world to us when you show up in our community outside the podcast so sign up for our secret facebook group just search the lady gang under groups follow us on instagram and

tiktok at the lady gang and the most important thing you can do is share this episode with a friend we would love that so much thanks for listening We'll be right back.