LadyGang - Teddi Mellencamp

Episode Date: March 5, 2019

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills star and daughter of John Mellencamp joins the Ladies (and a VERY excited Becca) to talk about her very normal upbringing, all the brewing drama on the show, and what exactly happened with Puppygate. Follow the podcast on Instagram @theladygang and email Jac, Becca and Keltie at [e-mail]! And check out the TV show page's official page @ladygangtv!  Check out new episodes of the LadyGang TV show every Sunday at 11:00 only on E!  And thank you to today's sponsors:  Amazon = Go to amazon.com/shop/ladygang to find their favorite products while keeping the podcast FREE! Away = Get $20 off your suitcase by visiting AwayTravel.com/ladygang and use promo code LADYGANG at checkout Bio Oil = Pick up a bottle of Bio-Oil today or find a retailer near you at www.findbio-oil.com Shine = Download the Shine App today on the App store or Google Play and go to ShineText.com/ladygang to get 50% off Shine Premium Stamps.com = Go to Stamps.com and click the Radio Microphone icon at the top of the page and type in LADYGANG to receive free postage, a digital scale, and a 4 week trial See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey guys, it's your Lady Gang, Jack Vanek, Kelty Knight, and Becca Tobin. Thank you so much for subscribing on iTunes, and thanks for supporting the great sponsors who make it possible for us to have this much fun with you every single week for free. Well, what is this? Welcome to the Lady Gang. That's amazing. Say that again. The Lady Gang. Things are about to change around here.

Each week we catch up with Hollywood's hottest girl posse, Kelty Knight, Becca Tobin, and Jack Vanek. Hello, hello, hello, and welcome to the Lady Gang. I'm Becca Tobin, here with Jack Manick and Kelty Knight. What's up? Hi, guys. Hello. Are you so happy that I got you a housewife? I got you a housewife.

I know. I love a housewife. It's like only the third time in the history of Lady Gang. You guys always doubt the housewives. I never doubt the housewives. I always love a housewife. They just hear that you're a crazy stalker fan, and they're like, I'm not coming on. I'm really excited about this one.

Me too. I actually love her. Well, on that note, it's time for Good Week. Yes, it is. Bad Week. Oh, no. I'm going first. Do it.

Here's my Good Week. My next-door neighbor's house has been up for sale for months, and it made me very nervous. Is this the next-door neighbor that uses your driveway? Yes. Yes. That's why it's good. See ya. Bye.

It's a prickly situation at times. With a driveway. Sometimes he brings us nice gifts, though. So it's a weird – Weird dynamic. Hate you, love you. It's a hate you, love you. Are you going to murder me or would you come over here and save my life if you needed?

He's the same guy when we started the podcast that I talked about when the paparazzi followed Leah up our street. He came out and defended her honor like screaming at the guy, the paparazzi. Yeah. It was intense. Okay. But I'm so glad they sold their house because A, you know, there were some issues with the driveway. And B, it means that people can sell houses in my neighborhood and I'm always obsessed with knowing how much people can get for their houses.

Did you get more than it's worth? Like if you sold your house for that number, would you be super stoked? Well, they have a smaller house, but it's great news for us. Good. Praise the Lord. Praise me. Okay. My bad week though also has to do with my driveway.

You guys saw I went through the Instagram story debacle where I thought somebody hit the garage. Just you. Turns out I'm a dipshit. Yep. someone actually hit the garage. Oh. And I'm sitting in my room and I'm on my computer.

Shakes. My house shakes. Yeah. And it's not even – the garage is not even connected to the house really. I mean there's like one shared wall. It's so loud. Orly goes fucking crazy. It's a tow truck.

Oh, no. A tow truck. So I take a picture of the tow truck. I do all these things and I'm like I'm calling and I'm going to get a new garage door. because i really want one i go down there no damage not a dent not a dent damn and i was like god damn it damn it i really wanted a new great wooden garage door so if someone could come over and hit it i won't find you on the surveillance hey i feel like it's bound to happen you brought so much of this i'll hit it first okay but here's the problem my car's so small i'll hit it because

the back of my like it's just a tire but i actually do need someone to hit it that i can sue yeah not sue just be like pay for my new garage it's our hard knock life okay so i have a by proxy good week great oh so there is a girl in our facebook group that last year she had posted that she went through a really bad divorce with her husband i'm not going to go into details because i actually didn't get approval to talk about this on the podcast i'll be kind of vague right bad or bad divorce this is against the rules it is against the rules bad divorce but then she went on a trip to go find herself she did this like solo trip across the country was you know staying at truck stops staying with random people

she did say it sounds safe but anyways she takes this like couple month long trip ends up i think in florida then gets a call to like donate her eggs for something has a conversation with the guy that wanted her to donate the eggs they end up falling in love getting married and she's like living her like best life here question yeah he was gonna have he was gonna buy the eggs he wanted so i guess he was older super successful could not find like the right woman to be with and he wanted to have a family and he wanted to have kids so he was like i want to just have that's insane kids by myself

that's a movie it is literally a made for TV that's a J-Lo movie is he gonna murder her I mean I don't know maybe but then that could

really bring a full circle I hope not we love all of our girls yeah but it's so cute because like all of our girls have been following

her journey because she'll post updates every like couple months they're like I wonder what she's up to now and somebody had posted about her last night

being like hey girl like what are you doing and so she gave like a whole update on it and it's super cute and she's beautiful and they look so happy and they're like flying in helicopters and shit so stop get your life girl yeah so how do you buy proxy good week my bad week is i went down like

a k-hole on that cameo app the other night we've been asked to do it by the way have we yeah i won't really talk shit on it in case we decide we want to do it one day but we're gonna do it be five thousand dollars if you want a birthday wait so i have a better app that does charity oh that's a good that's a good one so i just have to tell you guys a couple of these people and their prices okay for how much so cameo is an app where you like pay a celebrity and they give you like a shout out video like it's my best friend's birthday will you give her a shout out like happy birthday becca yeah so here's here's a few corinne from the bachelor 40 james kennedy 100 aaron carter 200 lil windex who the is he 45 ryan cabrera windex ryan cabrera 40 like she

is like 75 and then it goes to cory feldman 122 dollars billy zane from the titanic 500 for a shout out from he seems like the kind of guy that thinks he's that like he but honestly i'd pay it i would do because i always loved billy zane and then the best one and you guys will love this mr wonderful our favorite shark shark 999 dollars it's so great because i feel I feel like somebody probably made him do it and he's like, you guys, I'm going to make it so expensive. That's what we should do. Be like, you know what?

We will do it for $1,000. All three of us. Yeah. Bop. Split it. A 15 second video for you. Boom. Okay.

I loved it. The housewives all do it. We should ask Teddy about it. They're like a hundred bucks. Yeah. Okay. Good week. Mine is also, not proxy.

It's a word. I don't know if we've used this before. Sasshole. When you're being so sassy that you start turning into an asshole. I like that. I like that, too. I don't think we've used it. Sasshole.

Yeah. Pretty much. Good. Bad week. I decided on Fixer Upper LA that I was going to take down my own mirror. So the mirror. Mirror? The mirror.

Okay. Is glued to the wall because it was like a cheap flip before I got in there. And they just basically put the putty and then glued it. So there's not, there's no screws. It's not hanging. It's on the wall. So I Google, how the hell do I take down this mirror that is glued to the wall? And people are like, okay, put the tape on, tape it up, and then loosen it with a hair dryer and then put the thing behind and, like, zhuzh it off.

Sounds like a nightmare. So then I'm like, well, f**k that. I don't have time for that. Where is this mirror? In the upstairs bathroom. So I skip the tape section. I skip. I put a little bit of heat on it with a blow dryer and then I just essentially take my, like, screwdriver and try to pry it off.

Well, then a tiny bit of glass shard explodes from the mirror wall into my face. And then I put the screwdriver down and I was like, I'm going to hire someone to do this. But you'll see it this week. There's a tiny shard missing. And that was the shard that I flipped right into my own face and could have taken out one of my eyeballs with. That's amazing. And that is my bad week. That's why you need safety goggles.

All right. What's coming up? Teddy. Okay. What's going on? Now, here's the lady gang. Our guest today can basically do anything. An accomplished equestrian.

She worked at both CAA and UTA when she got her start. Mommy, TV star. And she's the CEO of her own company, All In by Teddy. She is the fiercest accountability coach in L.A. And she is going to keep us very accountable during this podcast. Please welcome to the Lady Gang, the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills star, Teddy Mellencamp. Can you be my hype girl for everything? She's the best.

I mean, that was amazing. It's good, right? She can just follow you around and just like tell people who you are. I need this. It makes me, yeah, I feel pretty good with that introduction. Because you're probably annoyed that people are just like, oh, she's a housewife. And you're like, well, actually, I'm more than that. I'm a CEO bitch.

And it needs to be at least a three-minute breakdown. Thank you. Okay, thank you. Thank you. Okay. So first of all, let's start with the other job, accountability coaching. This sounds like something that I'm really into. Well, fun fact, our friend Callie, who handles all of our social media, is a client of yours.

I know. And she has transformed like a beautiful butterfly. Oh, I didn't know that. That's the reason. Yeah, she was one of my clients. No. The biggest thing is, which people are like, well, how can you be a housewife and be an accountability coach? It makes no sense.

And I'm like, well, because they're two completely separate things. I hope people are accountable to their health and fitness goals. Then by chance, you just end up changing the rest of your life because when you're feeling good about yourself, everything else changes. Yeah. So they're two very separate topics. So, okay. So accountability, how do we do it? What is it and why do we need it?

Okay. So for me personally, I needed it because I had no balance. I was one extreme – like I'd either be obsessively working out but then obsessively eating junk because I was so hungry all the time or I was emotional eating or mindless eating or I just – I didn't know. And I just became a complainer. Oh, well, this happened and blah, blah, blah. So I deserve this or I need this because I had a bad day and it all became this reward system by what I was going through. And I started documenting my journey on social media years ago. And I was like, listen, I'm going to make these changes.

And I started putting it out there. And then once I started putting it out there and being held accountable by my followers, I realized, wow, this actually works. When you say you're going to do something and you actually do it, you start changing your life. Then I started doing it with a test group of my girlfriends. I just said, hey, this is going to sound crazy, but I want to hold you accountable. I know you want to change your life after having kids and you're just feeling a little stuck. So send me your morning workout, your weight, your breakfast, lunch, and dinner, and then let's see how it goes. And their transformations were insane.

I put them on social media and their business was formed. It's crazy. So, I mean, I started off with, you know, 10 clients and 30 clients and 50 clients. Now we have thousands of clients and I have over 40 coaches. Oh, my gosh. It's crazy. But the thing is, is that I think that so many men and women, but we're so hard on ourselves because we're like, well, I just don't have any willpower and I'm a failure. But the thing is, is like it's really easy to be at the right point in your period.

Like right for me, it's like right after my period finishes and you're like, I'm my best self with the most energy and I can stay on anything for seven days. But then after that, it's kind of nice to have someone that's like, come on, girl. Well, also, when you add in the factor of you're paying somebody to do this for you, nobody wants to throw away money. So what really makes my program stand out is you're signing up for the two-week jumpstart. I say to you, okay, great, but if you're not sending in breakfast by 10, lunch by 2, dinner by 8, you're out. And you're going to lose your money. That's from the get-go. How many people lose?

Not a ton because you hear that from the beginning. And then those people – that's how we weed out the people that aren't really interested in changing. And for me, it's not about – I mean it's not about the money. It sounds bad. But it's really about I want people that really are ready to change their life. Well, you don't want people wasting their money either. Yeah. So that's why we put it all out there for them from the very beginning.

I'm like we are the friends that are going to tell you what you don't want to hear. That's going to then change your life and then soon you're going to not need to hear it from us because you have switched your habits. So how long do people usually do the program for? It depends. So for example, I'm not – I always say if you're looking for a quick fix because you want to go to Mexico with your friends in a bikini, don't come to me. But if you have been stuck in some patterns and you want to change your life, I like to say at least do six weeks. For me personally, it took me about three months to really start embracing changing every little thing in my life and getting out of some really bad habits. So it's a client-by-client basis, and we have some clients that think that they're ready, and then I get a text four days later, and it's like, hey, I actually still need you. The reason I stopped is because I just really wanted to party with my friends this weekend.

Honestly, that's not bad. And I want to start back, and then they'll continue on another six weeks, and then they're like, you know what? Now I have it, and then I still – I hear from them a month later, and they're like, I'm doing great. Wow. But I think what I also didn't realize about you is I just – people probably look at you and they're like, she's been thin and in shape her whole life. She's just one of those people who's like a workout fiend and healthy, blah, blah, blah. Like you fluctuated a lot of your life. My entire life I would be over 200 pounds and then I would be too thin and then I would – just like it was so much back and forth that I was like, this isn't something that I can continue on with.

Yeah. It's not healthy for me. It's not healthy now that I have kids. I don't need them to see my like poor relationship with myself. Yeah. And so it was really just about building a balance. And now, you know, it's it sounds kind of crazy. But when you're talking to people and you're telling them about it, they're like, well, that sucks.

I want to be able to eat dessert whenever I want to be able to eat dessert. And I'm like, great, then you should do that. You're not six anymore. Yeah. Like, you know, it really is about your choice and knowing what to say no to. Yeah. And that it's OK to say no. And if somebody has a problem with it, most likely it's because they want to change something in their life. Yeah, so true. The guilt that you get when you're trying to be healthy, the meanest people are the ones whose lives are just a disaster.

Oh, yeah, always. They're just so jealous they're not on it. Yes. Most of the time when that happens to me, the people end up being clients. Like they come months later and it's like, hey, wanted to reach out to you. And I'm like, I had a feeling. That's great. Okay, my next question is, how can I change my life?

Oh, God. I think you have a pretty good life right now. I think you're doing pretty well. Well, I have a bullet journal and I have to tell you, I've been trying to quit Diet Coke for like a decade and I start it every January 1st and then like three days in, I'm like on the sauce again, you know? But because I'm bullet journaling this year, I have a little mini calendar that's just for Diet Coke and every day that I don't drink one, I get to cross it off with a blue

highlighter and there have been three or four days where I've really thought, I'm going to have a Diet Coke today, but then I got upset at myself that I wouldn't be able to put my blue square in so I did it. You're holding yourself accountable. You're doing exactly what I say to do. Thank you, Teddy. These girls are mean. They're the mean haters. We just make fun of her. You're pushers? No. Well, I do a journal, but I do three goals for the day.

And each day, it can be something different. It could be like, you know, I'm only going to have water today as my, like, I'm not going to have any sparkling water, whatever it is, or I am going to actually do a journal entry about goals, you know, whatever it is, three things, and they're my non-negotiables for the day. Do you start that

first thing in the morning? First thing in the morning, I wake up an hour before my kids wake up, I journal and I read a little bit and then I make sure that I complete those three things. That's so smart. I have always wondered this about people, though, that wake up before the kids wake up. How early are your kids waking up?

My son wakes up about 6. Yeah, that's my thing. I would take the extra hour of sleep. But I go to bed early most days and also, if I wake up when they wake up, I'm in a bad mood. Yeah, you don't get to zen yourself. Yeah, I'm a little on one. I'm like,

yeah okay like my patience isn't there so i know that i'm a better mom i'm a better wife and i'm a better coach to my clients if i've been up a little bit and i'm organized and kind of ready for the day now do you have to graduate to being your client like you start with sarah and then you get teddy no so i'm on a lot of exchanges every single coach i have was a former client oh that's and they've been promoted so that's it's like if they fully changed their life and they've also have the same qualities that i know will make a good coach we promote them and they become coaches themselves so i'm on a bunch of text changes sorry text exchanges yeah but sometimes people don't know it's me on there so we don't because there's multiple coaches on every exchange but

that way i can still monitor what everyone's doing what everyone's doing um i have a separate phone for it and then yes i personally have like some of the originals that like i still communicate with like wow what's been like your biggest transformation I've had so many I mean the ones that really hit me aren't just the physical ones yeah but it's the ones that like I have a client who she was being abused by her husband and she never felt like she had any power to change her life and you know he was just pushing at her when she was doing her physical transformation and once she like got to her goal and started feeling good she was like I don't need this anymore wow like I don't I really don't need this anymore and she had the strength to say like I'm

actually leaving for good this time wow and she's I mean that was over a year ago and you know for me that's where you're like wow or it's the person who hasn't asked their boss for a raise or you know all of these things these you're starting to get to know people and hear their success stories So, yes, the physical transformations are amazing. I have hundreds of those every week, you know. But it's when you start to hear all the other amazing things happening in your life. Because you're empowering them. Snowballs from it.

They're empowering themselves, but I get to watch. Yeah. That's awesome. And then you get to go fight on the Housewives. It's really the most balancing thing ever. It really is. It's a good balance. It's unbelievable.

My question before we get to Housewives is that you come from Hollywood royalty. How are you so grounded and not fucked up? I know. Well, because I didn't grow up out here. I did not grow up out here. I grew up in South Carolina. So it's completely different. Honestly, it sounds crazy to say it here, but nobody cared back there.

Right. Like nobody, like my parents would show up to my volleyball games or my riding events and, you know, nobody said anything. Nobody mentioned anything. I didn't think it was a big deal. Like I knew my dad would go on tour and we would like go watch him, but that was really it. It was not until I was 17, I moved out here, I got a job at CAA, and I couldn't get my

boss a dinner reservation. And he goes, well, use your last name. And I was like, what? Oh my God. Damn. And it worked. And I was like, oh my gosh, I am in a new, this is a- You're like, I could have been doing this the whole time.

I'm like, that's why I hired you. I'm like, I see what's, that's why you hired some punk-nosed 17-year-old kid. Oh my God, I'm sure it was. To get you dinner reservations. Wow. That's incredible. Do you think what it is about growing up outside of L.A. is like as soon as it's like it's a smaller town and as soon as that like thing wears off, which it does quickly with celebrities, if there's just one in that small town, it's like, oh, there he is. And it's just becomes it's just like normal to them.

It's normal. I mean, I went to the same school from third grade on. Yeah. You know, my graduating class, I think there was like 36 of us. Yeah. It's not like. Yeah. Well, it's like everybody's probably used to it.

Yeah. Yeah. They're just used to it. And then I was used to it, and I didn't – it's not like I came out here with, like, a black Amex. Right. Like, I came out here with, like, my car from high school, and my dad and mom were like, okay, we got you out here.

Now you figure it out. And I lived in a studio apartment with another girl that I worked with, like – Oh, so that's the answer. Well, it's like, and from what – I mean, I've seen of you on TV, it's like you were never really handed shit. It's like you always had to, like, work for what you had to buy. Yeah. I mean, I had a very amazing life, but my parents from day one said, like, oh, you want

it? Go work for it. Yeah. And so I learned, like, if I, it doesn't matter how much money you have when you ride horses or do whatever it is, if you don't practice, if you don't work hard at it, you're not going to win. Right. You're not going to do your best. You're not going to feel good. And there's nothing that having grown up with rock royalty is going to do about it.

Right. Yeah. Okay, let's talk about Housewives. Rebecca. Holy shit. Listen, you guys are, with you and New York, my favorite franchises. Thank you. The Beverly Hills, I think, this season might trump New York.

We had Dorit on. Yes. We love Dorit. But she was like, you know, she obviously couldn't tell us what was coming. This was a couple months ago. This was a couple months ago. But she was like, hold on to your fucking weave. It's going to be.

I mean, the difference between this year and last year, it's like. What is in the water? I heard something not from Dorit. This was somebody who, like, I don't know, through that like Bravo family, whatever. The dog story with Vanderpump and you and something about, like, she thinks she can use you as her puppet and you actually ended up being like, nah, bitch, I'm not your puppet. I can't give away anything. I believe it because – But all I can say is I am somebody who cannot hide from the truth.

Yep. Yeah. With anything. even if it's gonna hurt me in the long run i have to be honest because i can't live with myself any other way yeah i have a question just like a general question about you yes watching the season i'm like you are far too normal compared to all these women like you are the only normal one on that show like we love to read well like to read she's she's a character yeah she's next level you're like i want to be like best friends with you you're like a normal person so do you

like that's what as an outsider i see it that way do you feel that way within it like is there sometimes where you're like everybody's insane and what is going on well i can say the reason why last season i was quiet is because i went in i had met to read a couple of times but i didn't really know anyone so when i first meet a group of people i'm not the most like i'm not the loudest person in the room i like to kind of size up the situation and so i can see who i'm going to connect with who I'm not. I don't like to force connections. Yeah. So that's why I think it took me a little longer because I really wanted to kind of understand the dynamic of everybody, which now I do. So yes, it makes things easier for me this year because now I have some real

friends and real connections and I'm having, I'm having more fun, but there's also a whole heck of a lot more drama because now you're in it. I'm in it and I feel strong in my convictions because I'm really watching. I'm not an outsider looking in anymore. And you're not, like, I think that you probably were being underestimated. Yeah. A little bit by the originals. I don't know.

Because you didn't get, like, in there and dirty. You didn't, like, throw a leg on day one, you know? I think a word that's used a lot in the group is, like, a threatening word is, like, insecurity. Yeah. And for me, I don't mind that word. There are moments I am going to feel insecure in my life. That's life. And I'm going to talk about it and I'm going to be vulnerable.

And, yeah, last year I was vulnerable. I felt a little nervous. I was in a new setting. This was a completely huge slap in the face to me. And I wasn't fully ready. I didn't get insecure from you. I got too normal. Yeah, that's exactly what I got too.

Here's the thing. Insecure to me isn't a bad word. Right. 100% not feeling comfortable in a setting is okay. Yeah. And as long as you say to yourself, okay, I'm not fully comfortable with this right now. And that's okay. And you don't have to worry about me or you don't have to judge me because I'm going to be a little bit more quiet right now.

I'll come around when I'm ready. Right. What does your husband think? Like, has he been through the journey of hating it, loving it, regretting it? To be honest, totally, totally loving it. Like, we're famous now. He's, like, trying to get in every shot. He's like, hey.

No, to be honest, it really has helped us. Really? And which is crazy to hear, but because when you are married and you've been together for a while, sometimes you're not the most present with one another. That's very true. When you're being filmed, you can't be like checking out and looking at your phone or scrolling through Instagram. You have to really connect and you have to like be on the same page.

And so our communication skills have gotten so much better because we know like one, if we don't we're gonna sabotage our marriage yeah like we have to be we have to be a team and more so than ever like filming last year was a big wake-up call like wow i i do check out a lot when we're we're talking and that's not okay yeah my whole life is a checkout you know but you know like that's what happens to us all i'm making a note about this but that i mean we have fun days And we have days where, you know, I want to curl in like a little ball. How long is the filming? Like how many months do you guys do?

It's, I don't know. I would say probably four or five months. But then we do confessionals. Right. So it's longer. And then there's press. So it doesn't really stop. It doesn't really stop.

Jesus. How did you get on the show? Dorit and I had a mutual friend and she came over for a play date. Oh, cute. Yeah. And, but I had, the first time I met her was on the show. Oh, right. Yeah.

The first time you met Dorit was on the show? Yeah. The first time I met. She came over, right? Yeah, so that group play date was, like, a group of my friends, and they said, Dorit is one of them. Oh. So I met her.

Yeah. Damn. Damn. And then, you know, two days later, I was going to Vegas. That's so overwhelming. Oh, my gosh. So overwhelming. So for me, and, like, I wasn't even, I didn't take a bunch of girls trips prior, like.

I don't, who does? Right? So this was all a new, so yes, I walked in wearing like a, I don't even, I was wearing like an ice skating competition costume and I was like, what am I doing? Of course I might even feel a little quiet and insecure right now. These girls have full glam. I like don't even know what I'm doing here. You were like, you're like, wait, lashes.

Oh my God. Okay. I was like, now I've learned, but I'm like, this is a sitch. It's a real, it's a real sitch. You have, like, the Erika Jaynes of the world. Yeah, you have a full, full, full next level. Next level. Dorit came to film our television show, and she was like, just a casual outfit.

And it was, like, a bra with a sparkly see-through shirt and, like, a fishnet shirt and, like, a jumpsuit. It was insane. It was like Cher took it off her Las Vegas residency. And I was like, you guys are next level. Like, we thought we were being all glamorous on our little TV show. And we're like, no, actually, we're not glamorous at all. Yeah, no, I was complete wake-up call to me. And I get a little bit of heat now, like, I thought you weren't into aesthetics.

And I'm like, here's the thing. I didn't say I was not into aesthetics. I said, I don't like shopping. That doesn't mean I don't want to look nice. I'm like, somebody else just has to shop for me. I just, if somebody's going to do it for me, great. But no, truthfully, it's like, I enjoy nice things, but I'm not that person that wants to go shopping. Like, that's why they have the Revolve app.

Yeah. don't we know all right well when we come back teddy's gonna keep us accountable and by that i mean she's gonna fix your life hey ladies ask the lady gang and we're back so the last part of our podcast we have listeners writing questions and they're asking for advice and we give them questionable advice okay but you're this is what you do for a living so decent yeah it's gonna it'll be better than us yeah okay our first question comes from no name says i didn't switch that's okay i've been married for a year now together for five years we don't have sex often it's sad but true over the past year or so we've been fighting more often and after every stupid

fight he wants to have sex i'm hardly ever in the mood because sometimes i just can't move past shit let's be honest that's the last thing that i want he on the other hand wants to jump right back in and will say to me, this will help us. Let's smooth things over. Sex will get it off our mind. Usually I'm all about it, but lately I'm just feeling used. My husband isn't affectionate towards me most of the time. It's just not his personality, something I've learned to just accept. So if we're only having sex after an argument and not being affectionate towards each other at any other time, I have to wonder, dot, dot, dot, what do you think is normal? I don't think you can say the word normal, but I think a big thing to do in a relationship,

If you're feeling a slump, which it's going to happen, is figure out something you like to do together, whatever it may be. For my husband and I, we like to go hiking or we like to go to Rise Nation or go to Boozy Brunch. Like these are we like to do daytime activities so that we're not tired. Right. Love a daytime. Love a date. Yeah. So we love a daytime activity, a day date, and then try having sex when you're actually having a good time. And then you're going to want to start doing it more. Yeah. If you are dreading it, if you're doing it after a long day of work and you're exhausted and you don't want to do it and you're going through the motions, you're not going to enjoy sex. But if you schedule a couple of fun things to do with your husband at a time where you're going to be feeling good and ready, even get over that little hump, make yourself do it, and then you're going to start enjoying it more.

It's true. Yeah. And maybe if you do have a little boozy brunch or something and you're actually feeling good about yourself and in the mood, try initiating it first for once. And then it would probably be a little bit easier. It's a never-ending cycle. Like, you're not feeling it. Yeah. So you're a little bit cranky.

Or you're cranky, so you're not feeling it. So you're not having sex. There's no connection. So you're cranky. And he's cranky because you're not having sex. Right. And so I think it's like you just have to get over yourself. And one of our first podcasts when we had sex with Emily, and she was like, just say yes.

You're not going to want to. She was like, it's the gym. She was like, it's like the gym. It's like getting dressed for the gym is the most, like, the hardest part of going to the gym. Just say yes. Just start it. If you're fighting, if you're not fighting, like, just start having more sex with your husband. And I guarantee that your relationship will probably, you'll probably like him more.

Yeah. And also men. I mean, women, I don't think our moods are affected so much when we are in dry spells. Because we're thinking about a million other things. You're usually taking care of kids. You have your career. Like, men really do, their moods change when they are not having sex. sex and like

my husband is a bigger asshole to me if it's been a while I can have sex with him and suddenly it's like oh my god he's the nicest most agreeable person on the planet and all I had to do was have three minute sex with him that's what I'm saying I mean you don't even have to do it at like it doesn't have to be a huge

ordeal three minutes wake up in the morning brush your teeth and lean over and handle it you don't even really have to do anything just sit there and that might make him affectionate like other times of the day too but nobody wants

to go and reach out after somebody who doesn't want to be touched either and he probably stopped reaching or being affectionate because you always say no

yeah and maybe that's like a time where he feels vulnerable after you guys have made up where it's like okay well now it's probably a good time

he's probably turned on by you like and your passion he's like and shit I mean I felt the waves down in Africa

oh nice she sings a lot yeah All right. Next question. Okay. She says, I've been close friends with my quote unquote best friend since middle school, and I'm now 23 years old. She's always dominated our conversations with her problems, even when I have had real life crises. Recently, I lost a close family member and have been struggling with grief. The first time I saw her since returning home from the funeral and spending time with my family, she cried to me about how her ex-boyfriend is allegedly talking

to a girl he works with and that also liked one of her old Facebook photos. This is not the first time she has trumped my emotional needs with her petty problems. It has come to a point where neither my mom or therapist wants to listen to me bitch about her anymore. I also recognize that a best friend is not supposed to add

stress to your life and that it is okay if not all friendships are forever. So how do I handle a breakup talk? I don't necessarily think it needs to be a breakup talk. I know that I have friends and I put them in like little categories or little boxes. Like this is my friend that I like to do this with. This is my friend

that I talked to about this. Setting your expectations properly for what you have in a friend, then you don't have to have a breakup talk. Then it's not this big, huge to do. And then your expectations of them will shift. What is it in you that's going on with you that you are requiring so much from your best friend? Maybe she can't do that. You're probably not going to change her. And having this talk is just going to ruin your friendship completely. we're writing a book right now and that's literally one of the chapters how there is so many different types of friends in your lives and they

give you different things like not every one of your friends has to be everything to you and if every single one of your friends was everything to you wouldn't that be so boring yeah then you hear the same information from every single one of them like how do you grow how do you learn like I've had a lot of people in my life

never come and go but that sometimes we're really close then we pull away a little bit then we get close again and it's really just about shifting through the different patterns of our life it's true um and so she said in the beginning that she's 23 years old and i have to say that i had such a different relationship with my female friendships in my 20s versus 30s and i think it's because when you're 20 you really are still in that high school mentality of like we're all best friends and we're ride or die and we're doing

everything together you're like each other's significant others yeah exactly and then when you get a little bit older like there's been times where my friends maybe haven't been great or I haven't been great, but you're, like you said, more forgiving. And you're just like, it's an ebb and a flow. And like, there's certain things I know about my friends. Like I have this one very close friend in particular, and she's someone that will like be in my life really intensely. And then she just is like my bones.

She just gone. And it's because she's a creative and she goes in a little hole and she has to be alone for like months on end. And she does not come out into the world. and then she like explodes again and she's like I'm back

and you're like if I was righteous I'd be like where the f*** have you been I'm so mad at you but now I'm like you understand you don't have to take it personally

I don't take it personally that's the thing you have to realize with your friends you can't take everything personally because if you did then you would constantly be getting your feelings hurt

yeah totally I'm all in for you you're all in I'm all in Teddy okay catchy name right very catchy

are you like Theodora no just Teddy I love the name Teddy first of all. It was Teddy Joe. That's hot. Like hyphenated first name? No, but multiple family members have the middle name Joe.

Oh. It's like a thing. Yeah, that's cute. It's very rock and roll, of course. Very rock and roll. Oh, really? I didn't know that. It feels very rock and roll.

Who would have thought? Okay, last question. My two coworkers are having an affair. She had a boyfriend of 11 years who she recently has broken up with, and he is married with two kids. She is in love with him. he has told her he has no intention of leaving his wife and family it's been going on for well over a year and the only reason i know is because it's so obvious that i called her out on it my question is she talks to me all day every day about him and this quote-unquote relationship

and i do not want to hear about how hard she has his come all over during lunch okay we work directly together and are essentially the only two in our department so i can't have her not talking to me at all i just don't want to hear about that is there anything that i can do i think she can just say hey i need to set some boundaries here listen i'm not judging you you do you but like honestly i don't want to hear about your sex life yeah and that's okay i don't want to hear about anybody's sex i don't want to hear the word come to be honest i don't want to say it again i don't either yeah do you see how uncomfortable i was reading that like come on I'm okay without it being in like in my topic of work discussion I don't need any sort of explicit

details of anybody's sex life no none no one not a friend none no one unless some weird shit like weird something happens and I need a story your job is being on the lady gang yeah I also think you could like lie I'm not saying live but I think like if you needed if you didn't just if you needed a reason to say you could just be like hey by the way like I had some family stuff happen with an affair and it was like really hard on me and so like i'm going to excuse myself from this narrative but i'm really happy for you and like go get them i don't because then she would feel guilty every time she looks at you and tries to like tell you about it because she can she help herself i think i think she can just say listen we all have to work together and it's going to

be hard for me to not be judging you if you keep giving me all the information like it's just not it's not appropriate if she wants to do it he wants to do it that's on them but bringing her into it I think if she just honestly puts her her foot down yeah okay so don't tell a lie Teddy says don't go you're gonna end up digging yourself into a whole situation yeah I mean if it's her truth

maybe that is her truth maybe that's why she's writing in there yeah maybe she just doesn't want to see the word come see you there's nothing wrong with not wanting to hear that okay well you're lovely thank you for staying up past your bedtime i know really on the lady gang um you can follow teddy at teddy melon camp

on social media and check out her company all in by teddy and if you want to sign up you can and it might be her on your text messages changing your life you never know and actually if you go to your site you have amazing transformations the photos are so inspiring because i think when you're starting out you're like this is never gonna happen for me to see this before and after and there's no bullshit facetune on these photos like you can tell someone took them

in the mirror I love this I'm going to do it when I'm ready to be held accountable me too which might not be for a while

I'll be thinking about it guys okay good luck on this season we love watching you all right and we will see you next Tuesday

thanks for listening The Lady Gang is produced by Alex Ingbert Will Sterling Steve Delameter and Jared Monaco make sure you subscribe

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