LadyGang - The Bachelor's Colton Underwood

Episode Date: January 15, 2019

The current Bachelor and all-around nice boy joins the Ladies and offers to be the unofficial 4th LadyGang member as he shares some juicy gossip from the show (no spoilers) and what he looks for in the love of his life. Follow the podcast on Instagram @theladygang and you can email Jac, Becca and Keltie at Hello [e-mail]! And check out the show page @ladygangtv! And thank you to today's sponsors: Amazon = Go to amazon.com/shop/ladygang to find their favorite products while keeping the podcast FREE!   CW's Roswell, NM = Check out TV's newest and most out-of-this-world series premire on Tuesday January 15th at 9:00 PM only on the CW  Daily Harvest = Go to Daily-Harvest.com and enter promo code LADY to get three cups free in your first box Kopari Beauty = Get $5 when you switch to Kopari today at KopariBeauty.com/LADYGANG Weleda = Shop for plant-rick products at Weleda.com and use promo code LADYGANG at checkout to get 15% off sitewide  See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey guys, it's your Lady Gang, Jack Vanek, Kelty Knight, and Becca Tobin. Thank you so much for subscribing on iTunes, and thanks for supporting the great sponsors who make it possible for us to have this much fun with you every single week for free. Well, what is this? Welcome to the Lady Gang. That's amazing. Say that again. The Lady Gang. Things are about to change around here.

Each week, we catch up with Hollywood's hottest girl posse, Kelty Knight, Becca Tobin, and Jack Vanek. I've never been more excited in my life I'm Becca, anti-bachelor with Jack and Kelty here you guys, they're pro-bachelor but you know what, this is maybe one of my favorite episodes we've had I'm speechless

I'm speechless, we've already recorded it with our dear Colton, the bachelor I'm spoiling everything but this is like a whatever, he's hot you guys, he's so cute I know, it's like, it's when I realized I was 37, I'm like, I'm too old for you oh for sure we're way too old for him but he's so cute guys didn't look like that when i was 27

or i was the wrong kind of guy by the way he's also way more handsome in real life than he is on tv way more like insane and beautiful skin yeah we're like nico tortorelling in here he's he's so cute that's okay all right well now it's time for good week yes it is bad week oh no before you know our good week guys good week this is my good week okay because here's the thing i was very in The Bachelor beginnings, like however many years ago that started, 50. I was like so in it.

And then I really fell off. I was not into the people. I was not invested. I didn't care about anybody. I thought everyone was crazy. After this encounter, I am a Bachelor fan. Well, no.

I am this season, I'm a Colton fan and I'm invested. You're going to watch. I feel like I need to watch because I feel like a protective older sister and I feel like

I'm going to have to be letting him know my strong feelings about these girls. You're going to be like, you know what, you're really making a mistake and he's going to be like,

this was filmed four months ago. It's too late, Becca. It's too late. Well, we got his number, and so we're going to do like a group text. Oh, we forgot. Oh, it's empty. Okay. Are you going to make it, Kelsey?

That was my good week. Bad week? What's your bad week? My bad week is that I am addicted to sugar again. Oh, me too. I just ate like 17 caramels. I was so good. I know.

I was so good. For like the three weeks after the holidays, and because I'm doing dry January, because I'm like, oh, I'm going to do dry January. I'm going to also combine that with also being healthier and no sugar. Well, it's like I might as well drink a bottle of wine instead of this bowl of jelly beans. Yeah, at least you can get kind of tipsy. I'm so annoyed with myself. I hate myself.

Jack, tell me what's going on with you. Okay, my good week. So for Lady Gang TV, we filmed this thing called Ask a Lady. Becca and I did where we sat outside of Amoeba Music in Hollywood and had people ask us for advice. It was horrifying. And people, there was a few fans that came up to us and overshared some things. Yeah. And there's this girl specifically that came up to us and started telling us about this guy that she had been hooking up with, the STD that he had given her.

She was saying all this on camera. I was in the Denver airport last week. No. Somebody grabs me from behind, shakes me, and looks at me. And I'm like, what? And she goes, you don't remember me. I was like, it was not her. She goes, I told you that I had gonorrhea on TV.

No. I ran into her at the Denver airport. That's so random. And then she was on my flight home to L.A. That is so weird. And she goes, I have to tell you something. He was married the entire time. No.

What? Yeah. I don't think that they ended up putting this into the cut that ended up making it because it was a lot of oversharing. But she was like, I'm like, I'm going to talk about this on the podcast as a good week. And she's like, go for it. Talk about my STDs. I'm like, yes, girl. I really loved her.

OK. Bad week. I was on the flight coming home from Denver. And I sat next to this guy. You know when you sit next to somebody and you just know they have, like, weird kind of creepy vibes? So weird vibes coming from him. Then he pops open a Red Bull, which is the nastiest smell to me in the entire world. He's drinking a Red Bull on the plane.

Then he eats a tuna sandwich, which is the worst combination of two flavors ever. Who eats a Red Bull on the plane? A Red Bull. I'm trying to calm down on the plane. Me too. Yeah, are you trying to, like, get hyphy? Like a Red Bull vodka? We do.

And then I kind of catch him looking at my phone. I was like scrolling on Instagram, blah, blah, blah. Such a Kelty. Then 10 minutes later, I look at his phone. He's on my Instagram, zooming into pictures of my face and my body. Like he is, you know, doing the double zoom. Ew. Right next to me.

No shame. Rebel drinking. Tuna sandwich eating. I would have moved. Freak. I would have moved. This is what fame is like, Jack. We're on TV now.

Tuna sounds delicious right now. I know. See, I love a tuna sandwich. Gross. Anyways. Okay. uh bad week it's tax time oh god i'm just telling you well it's not really tax time for most people but with it's like corporations right it's it's tax time for me i'm beginning to get my shit

together and i am so a type i have a bullet journal that is telling me about like my carb vegetable intake like i am i'm so a type that like you know the you would think knowing me that every year the taxes come and I'm like, here's my color-coded coordination. This makes me feel better because I did this last year. My taxes are a disaster. I know. Every year. Every year I'm like, there's no way I'm going to owe that much tax.

And then I get my tax bill and I'm like, wait, I have no money. I can't afford my mortgage. And then it's like then I'm going through all the things. I'm like, who did I write this check to? Why did I make it cash? Why didn't I put something in the little memo? Like I have no idea where this – I cannot. Why did I do everything in cash last year?

The amount of money I spent on things on The RealReal was not okay. I did the same thing this year. Oh, my God. I'm just returning like $300 worth of shit on The RealReal. Anyway, I'm done. No personal shopping year. It's happening. Really?

You can do it. I'm this far. I can't. I've already spent so much money. I bought one belt. Sorry. I did buy a belt, but I brought it down in my journal, and now I'm going to keep it. Anyway.

What kind of belt? It was like very beautiful. Okay. Hold on. Good week. Bullet Journal 2019. Oh, my God. I have now made a highlight section on my Instagram with all my bullet journal, inspiration, and pens, and I am obsessed.

If you're not into it, you're not into it, and that is fine. Live your own life. But the people that are into it, my bullet juniors, my Bujo family, they really— It's called Bujo? Yeah, it's called Bujo. Oh, I'm done with this podcast. My Bujo family knows what a relief it is to like draw, doodle, pencil, schedule, graph with your colors. And I got these erasable things and I got stickers.

And like I, oh my God, like I can't honestly, I'm so excited we're on TV, but I'm more excited to not ever be on TV and to just be by my fire Bujo-ing. Be careful what you're saying because you might be by a fire under a bridge if you don't want TV show anymore. No, I want the TV show, but I want to, like, then at 8 o'clock have, like, a cup of tea and a blue joe. This is what you do in your free time. My free time is bullet journaling, and I am obsessed. So send me all your pages. You've got a new hobby this year. You need to get a friend.

I don't want friends. Okay, when we come back, our new friend Colton. Now back to the Lady Gang. Our guest today is currently starring on ABC's hit show The Bachelor, looking for love and sequined gowns. He just meets Jack Vanek's hot guy cutoff at 6'3". He's a college football star. He has really nice skin. And this is clearly going to be the most dramatic season of The Bachelor ever.

Girls this season are not only walking away with love. They are walking away with an excellent five seconds of missionary virginal sex with Colton. our late bloomer virgin jack has a lot to say about this please welcome to the lady gang colton underwood why'd you have to throw me into that because you're late no because everyone's giving him let's just get this up we'll get this out of the way time yeah hold on hold on you're giving me you you gave me five seconds i think you can go longer it's not like he hasn't been practicing i'm assuming with him so you're gonna be fine not even 10 seconds in we're already talking about my virginity here we go i'm ready i mean well here's the thing you know you knew this was gonna be

like a huge thing when you signed up that it was gonna all be around your virginity no no you didn't think so no

well it's kind of a bullshit double standard because a lot of the women on The Bachelor are virgins yeah and they don't make to be honest with you

I didn't like during the casting process they didn't know they didn't no are you kidding me you are hot Colton wait so then how did it come out

like during the show that you're like scared about overnights is that what it was no he's not scared clearly he's not scared look at how hot he is

he's not scared and you're terrified it was just one of those things i like was having a conversation with one of the guys and throughout my nfl years i tried to get better of just owning who i am as a person and being comfortable so i just casually dropped it in a conversation and then it got obviously people talking people love do you want to give okay i was a virgin until i was 23 not 35 i'm not even 35 he's not 35 he's 26 but you said i was 35 when i lost him she just wants me to be as old as she is it's fine uh cold uh but here's the

thing with that is i kind of got to a point i didn't do it for religious reasons ever i just wanted to like lose it to the right person it ended up being literally the most traumatic experience of my life it was in billings montana after getting blackout drunk at a buffalo wild wings you saved it for that yep exactly it was everything i wished for and more um but there was like a thing where i'm like this is becoming too much of my identity because i was kind of talking about it almost publicly so that's why i was like i gotta just get it out of my system so I'm not known, like, as the virgin kind of thing. So have you ever thought like that about yourself?

I mean, the one thing that, like, I think bugs me the most is it's a problem in our society anyway today. It's just, like, labels is you just define someone. It's, like, for me, I have so much more to who I am as a person. I'm not a simple dude, but I just – there's more to me than just being labeled as a virgin, just like there is more to me than being labeled The Bachelor or a football player. There's just – I mean, we're all human beings, right? Yeah, so this is my second question on my sheet. First was Jack was an old virgin too, and second was tell us about your life.

But honestly, when I went to go search you, it's kind of like your football career, and that's really it. So what's your story? Were you a good student? What are all the things people don't know about you? When we meet your parents later on this season, what are they like? Are they weird? Are they cool? They're on quite a bit this season.

I was born in Indianapolis, raised and grew up in Illinois. Both kind of eh. Yeah, I know. I agree with you. It's okay. She's from the middle of nowhere Canada, so don't feel judged. Well, you know, Caitlin and I, moms are best friends. Oh, really?

We grew up in the same. She grew up in Leduc and I grew up in Shrew Park. But anyway. Kelty was also on The Bachelor, by the way. I was. Yeah, we talked about that too. Well, you know, Caitlin is now dating Jason. Are they dating though?

Is this a publicity thing? It's so weird. Jason was on his season. Jason's the person that a lot of people thought was going to be the bachelor and then they picked Colton, thank god I think people thought Jason was going to be the bachelor or he was in the running with you

I think he's cute but he's not, look at this face look at this chiseled jawline I gotta get it I get it, sitting across from you I gotta be honest, I understand right? are you starting to push girls down the stairs for Colton?

yeah, kind of in my mind She's now on the season. Like, I'm already mad I'm not wearing makeup today. What's happening? I put on mascara for this exact thing. Okay, sorry. We're so rude. We interrupted you.

Okay, you're fine. Where was I at? You grew up in Minneapolis. Yeah, sort of like a very small town, small little high school, small class sizes. But it was good. My childhood was good. My parents separated when I was in college, moved to Colorado. Are they remarried?

They both are remarried now. and I have seven brothers and sisters. I have one sister and then six brothers and then one from my parents and then my dad remarried and had four. So,

dang. My mom had two. Well, you better be careful when you do start having sex. It sounds like he's very fertile. Yep. Oh,

no, they're both from previous marriages. But still, but still you're, yeah, yeah. Yeah. I'm working with Diesel Fuel.

They're good at making babies. Yep. Also, I hope that you get married on television because it also sounds like the wedding's going to be big and that's very expensive.

Because you have a lot of family. So you're going to want ABC to pay for that wedding. Absolutely. You know what I mean? Yeah. So you played football in high school, I'm assuming. Played football in high school, played football in college. What's your position?

I was a linebacker, but then I finished my career at tight end. I actually don't know what that means. Those are both defense, aren't they? No. One is defense, one is offense. So you're a fast runner? I mean, I'm all right. Or you're just big?

I'm all right. I'm just big. I'm a try hard. Me too. I had to train. Jesus. I just had to work hard and, like, train harder than most people to, like, stay decent. Oh.

Did you have a lot of girlfriends in high school? No. Really? Really. Did you look like this in high school? Oh, were you a late bloomer? Yes. Okay.

I got called, like, my nickname my senior year was Ugly Duckling because then I turned into, like, the swan they said. Stop. When did you swan? I want to know what you looked like. Like, what year? Were you this tall? Were you just, like, chubby?

Yeah, and I had curly hair, braces, pimples. like you would like talk about like going through puberty and like the worst things that come with it I had it for sure and then I had a bottom retainer so my lisp was really bad I have I still have like a minor one when I get like really excited or if I have a lot of snag in my bottom

oh my god I can't wait to get divorced and marry you this isn't good this is worse than when Nico Tornolini was here we very rarely invite a boy to the lady gang and when we do there's like two for why can we talk about the candles like I walked in

And I was just like the, it was, I'm a candle guy. Are you? I like taking baths in candles. We did hear you make the candle comment when you walked in. By the way. Oh my God. We love it. I mean, I have a very important question.

Yes. Do you think that you're, this is so cheesy and I'm sure you get asked this a lot, but do you realistically believe that the person you're going to end up with isn't this group of women? I do. Are you a believer? Yeah, I wouldn't, I wouldn't, I wouldn't have done the show if I didn't believe that. Okay.

Most people do the show, I think, for the wrong reasons. They want to. A hundred percent. Yeah. A hundred percent. To sell tea online. Yeah, you can make some really good money now. I mean, it's a TV show.

You literally never have to have a job after being on The Bachelor. I disagree with that. Really? I mean, me as a person, I want to. Not you. I mean, like, random. The girls? Well, I had to get a job because I was on too early before Instagram really hit.

I actually think, like, this is, like, the prime year. This is the prime. Yeah. But you have good girls. I do. I already know your person. Yeah. I already know who you pick.

I mean, I don't look at the spoilers. Not spoilers in your mind. In my mind from, I just know. Who puts the girl pretending to be Australian? I mean, I can't comment on that one. He can't say anything. He can't say anything. Her accent is good.

Should we do our picks? Yeah, can I hear your guys' picks? Okay, my pick is that you... I'm going to... Hold on. Oh, yeah. Okay. I'm not going to look at you.

My pick is Cassie because she seemed like the most authentic, and I appreciate that she didn't wear a sequined gown. Like, she wasn't, like, there for the... Like, you could tell she's not going to be a bridezilla. She's the one that was... She was in, like, the floral reformation gown like you would wear. Oh, yeah, yeah. With, like, the blonde hair.

She's the speech pathologist. Yeah, and she was like, she goes with kids. You've got to, okay, so Cassie is my, and right from the beginning, I thought you were going to give her the first impression rose, and then you didn't, but that's fine, because a lot of times when you get the first impression rose, you don't win. Yeah, you do win a lot of times. What? Yeah.

Or you at least get to the last two. I have read spoilers, so I cannot comment. Don't comment. Who do you think wins? You don't know. A fake Australian. Okay. She's talented and beautiful.

Okay. Like I said, they did not show her other than that clip in that show. It's okay. She could be a sleeper. That's who I would choose. Now that you are The Bachelor, are people coming out of the woodwork from Brace's Zitz time in your life, like on Facebook? Have you had to delete all that? I deleted Facebook.

You did? Good for you. Yeah, because that's childhood, and it has a lot of photos of me. We don't want anybody to see. Yeah, we need to get those out of here. The internet's forever, though, Colton. Oh, I know. People can dig them up.

It's scary. So have people come back out and been like, oh, my God, I've known Colton since he was 11. We're so close. And you're like, I don't know you. They're Meghan Markling you. Yeah, they are. Well. Like how all of her family is coming out.

I think over this last year, I really realized how much energy and effort I was giving to people who were like not good in my life. And I started like the moments that I've been happiest in my life is when I cut people off. It is the best. And like it seems really savage. To weasel down the people that matter. But like you don't need a lot of people in your life. Like I have a core, really core group of friends.

I still can socialize. I could still like make new friends. Like all that. No, you can't. No new friends now, Drake. Yeah, you can't make new friends. You can't admit now. I mean, us.

New acquaintances. We're here. Us, yes. But everyone else is full of shit. As your new besties, we're here. But, like, I still have my best friend, Mike, that I roomed with in college. Of course your best friend's name is Mike. My best friend, Sam.

My best friend, Colin. Like, I still have, like, my core group of, like, best friends that, like, we still chat with. Are they excited you're the Bachelor? Did they care? They didn't care. And that's the best part. That is the best part. And, like, the first thing, if an article comes out with a weird, like, of course they're the first ones to clown me and dog me in the group chat.

What's the hardest part about doing it? I would actually say, like, the hardest part now is all the virginity talk with, and I know my grandma's watching, and, like, people, like, even, like, Ryan Seacrest. But at least it's not, like, slutty Colton. No, but, like, even, like, Ryan Seacrest is trying to figure out my bases, and I'm, like. He's still a virgin. He should shut up. I think so, too.

He should shut up. I think so, too. He definitely is. Yeah. Yeah. He's married to his work. Yeah, yeah. You know?

How does anybody get that? He's projecting. Yeah, he's projecting, for sure. I think so. I think you could be – would you be interested in after your bachelor's over to be a sportscaster? Like a Jordan Rodgers situation? Because you're handsome like that and you're so smiley. Oh, thank you.

I appreciate it. And you know football. Well, that's a good plug because, yeah, that is sort of where I can see my career going after this. Like an actual career. Yeah, you need to Jesse Palmer this. Yeah, you need to Palmer it up. But not Good Morning – he was on Good Morning America, right? I don't know.

It's too early to get up. You just want to do college football. You want to pop around. Yeah, I mean – Would you do college or would you do regular? I would do whatever, to be honest with you. Honestly, give me a job. I don't know.

Honestly, though, I don't really know exactly what area I want to do it in. I just want to see what I like. Yeah. I think that's what. Yeah. Well, don't take my job. Maybe you should take Chris Harrison's job. Do you guys need another host?

Yeah, we actually do. Well, you have the right hair color. Yes. I like candles. You like candles and baths. I'm really digging this vibe in here. You actually fit right in. We could Photoshop me in.

Yeah. You're in. We're good. You know what? Well, just take Jack out, honestly. What the fuck? She's tired. Yeah.

There's an F-bomb. That's fine. Okay, I have some questions based on my time at The Bachelor, and the ABC publicists are behind us, so if my head gets in a noose... They're really nervous right now. If Kelty goes silent... Here's my question. Okay, so everyone knows I was on Brad Womack's season, and I made it past 24 hours in the house and then got cut. And so I'm a loser by life.

Don't let that define you. When I was at my one and only rose ceremony, it was the first night. so what happened was it took like seven hours and you don't see them on tv because brad would come in and like say two names he'd be like chelsea stacy and then he would walk out did you have to do that to go find the names oh girl i had three names you knew three names three names at a time how many of the girls how do they actually remember their names the first night that's so hard it's hard remembering that many girls names that end in ie i actually like i keep saying like we just need name tags or something like let's be real like i like and there was a few there was a

few of the the women that sat down with me and be like uh do you remember my name i know it was so rude and then they show that and i was like i know but how evil is that yeah that's rude i know that's an instant cut that's an instant cut don't end up with the girl that does that well and then like i get nick i started getting nicknames i'm like all right you did this you did that but then i was like i don't want to walk around being like hey you know sloth flip flop yeah hey sloth hey McNuts like hey like it's like come on like I want to make nuts that girl poor girl I just love she like watched somebody else walk in she's like oh I did it back in nuts but honestly food was a way to go to for sure because you're so hungry okay so you do go out now how do they do it do

they have a face chart you have to just remember a name there's no like Polaroid don't you go back and look at the frames with the pictures anymore they don't do that anymore they did though where they have to like really like sit and ponder there was a couple times the first night where I'd go back in with a name and, like, I'd be like, all right. I got to go again. Oh, shit. And I'd wait for him to walk through. You, like, look generally in their direction.

I look generally in their direction. You're like, Danielle's over here somewhere. I was like, yeah, Lauren B. It's so hard at the beginning. And that's why I think I got cut. Okay. Because I am, I'm someone, I'm like a fine wine. Like, you really have to sit with me to, like, get my vibe.

And I'm a little sarcastic and I think he was insecure. And so when I came at him with my prowless, he was like, whoa, whoa, whoa. He was intimidated. Yeah. I wasn't like, what's my name? What's your deal breaker? Hygiene. I'm a big hygiene guy.

You seem clean. Did any of the girls smell bad? Bad breath. There's always bad breath because you're like nine hours into it. And you're drinking and eating cheese. Yeah, but I don't fault them. I like a good meatball at 3 a.m. too, so I don't fault them. But a meatball breath is different than a bad breath.

Deodorant, just B-O. Yeah, and just, like, wash your hair every once in a while, like, maybe once or twice a week. But you're a shampoo, Colton. Once or twice a week. Yeah, I know. I know, it's hard for us now. I know. I had sex with my husband this weekend, which is, like, can I get a clap, first of all?

Wow, good job. But mostly, like, I want the clap. I get the clap because I made salmon for dinner, and then I don't think he brushed his teeth, and I French kissed him, which is so gross. Ew. And I went there because I'm trying to bring passion into my life in 2019. Good for you. So salmon makeup. Okay, so bad hygiene, deal breaker.

Okay, were there girls that instantly... Wait, can I ask... Oh, wow, now Becca's all into The Bachelor. Please, biggest Bachelor fan. Would you date a girl with a long list? That has slept with a lot of guys. And when I say this, it's because this morning, actually, I went through my list in my head.

It's long. I don't know mine. I've consciously not really... I go back and forth between two numbers because I'm not sure. Well, to be honest, I mean, my list is easy. But I don't... Yeah, it's all about the relationship I'm in. I'm not discriminating.

Like, a number doesn't change or define you. That's nice. And then she can teach you things. Yep, 100%. It's fun. Were there girls that the minute they walked out of the limo, you were like, nah? I'm sure. Yeah.

Of course, right? Because there was minutes that the girl walked out of the limo and I was like, nah. No, I wouldn't say walk out. I would say maybe, like, in our conversation. Yeah, like, first impression. Yeah, like, I'm a big chemistry connection guy. Like you have to feel – it's one of those things I can't force it. Maybe timing gets better.

It gets a little – it's a slower burn versus like the initial spark. Yeah. But I also didn't want to like write people off. Yeah. On a bad dress. That's not what this is for. It's to give it like an honest shot and really see where things can go. But what if you like kick one of those girls off the first night?

See, everybody's like, oh, the first night's so easy. Then you could just – I'm like it's not that easy because you have a short time to really get to know somebody. And then you're making a decision like what if that first night you're sending somebody home who – It was just nervous. Yeah, it was like really nervous or really shy. Yeah. And just didn't want to open up or talk about, you know. Yeah.

I mean. That is tough. How much time do you actually get to talk to the girls at the first night? Very little. I mean, yeah, you know, so I can't give you a BS answer, but like five, ten minutes, maybe max. That's crazy. I feel like you.

Except for that girl that kept talking to you over and over again. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Who's that girl's name? DJ. She's a Miami DJ. Come on. Catherine?

Are you sure? Are you sure? I feel like she wasn't Catherine. Can we get the face chart, please? Yeah, Catherine and Lucy. Lucy the dog oh it's the dog that was the best part honestly I was like well

what was the best intro like the out of the limo like line intro whatever there were so many really great ones and I sent two of the girls who had really good like the sloth was really creative took forever did she go home yeah I had to say goodbye to the sloth and then also the cat Cinderella

but to Cinderella that's a whole you don't want that girl that's a girl that is hard she's hard on her due She wants a birthday month. She came in with a horse-drawn carriage, and that horse was, like, thick. It was like a jacked horse. She's the girl who celebrates her birthday month.

Yes. That's what I said. Absolutely. And she, for sure. Oh, she celebrates half-birthdays, too. There you go. Have you ever had friends that, like, celebrate half-birthdays? Colton, you are a member of the Lady Game.

You're a member of the Lady Game. This is our biggest no-no, is girls celebrate birthday month. Yes. Or half-birthday. Or half-birthday. I didn't even think about the half-birthday. When is your birthday? January 26th.

Oh my God, I'm the 28th. Are you really? Oh my God, do you want to hold hands? And I'm January 8th. We should make out. We're 27 this month, right? Both of us. Both of you are 27 this month.

Oh, yeah. He's so sweet. Kelsey got the joke. Oh my God. I wish you could see Kelsey's face when she did that. I want to throw up. She's like, wait, we're 27? I was like, yeah.

Okay, where's my lie at? Swink. Okay, we have a little... Well, last thing. Do you have a celebrity crush? I know everyone asks you that, but who is it? Jennifer Aniston. Oh, that's a good one.

She's great. No, he has a Friends in a Friends sweatshirt. That is before your time, though. Yeah. A little bit. Yeah, I binge-watched it in college. On Netflix or something. She was so hot.

I was really in my prime in college. Yeah. Spending it watching Friends over and over. All alone. This is why you're a good guy. On Saturday nights and Friday nights. Wait, can I tell you a story? So we had a house party at our house.

In college? I was watching Friends in the Basement. That's ideal. And you know, I'm like an old soul. So, of course, I'm like cranking. I'm like, can you turn the bass down? I'm watching Phoebe's playing music. I was like, yeah.

Smelly cat's on. I was like, come on. We got to turn the bass down a little bit. But I slept through a lot of house parties at my own house. That makes sense. This is so interesting because I had a dream last night about this nerd from my high school named Corey, who's now a doctor. And he was in my dream. Wow.

And now he's hot. You're literally Corey. You were a nerd in high school. You kind of. I'm a doctor now. I'm just a bachelor. He's better. He's the bachelor.

Yeah, exactly. That is better than a doctor. You know the amount of free clothes you're going to get? He probably already has gotten free clothes. I'm an Instagram influencer now, guys. Have you done any ads yet? No. Does he even still let you do ads or no?

No, not until he's done. Yeah, I can do what I want. Do you know? Ooh. I'm getting side-eyed right now by the producers. Do you know what I think would be cute if things don't work out on the show? What? Me.

Jack. Sure. Jack. If you want older women. What? Do you know? There's shade being thrown in this room. I have two.

I'm older than her. Yeah. There's two girls who I feel like could be good. Oh. Tanya Rad and Becca Tilly. Have you met them? I have met both of them. Been thoughts?

Was there any connection? No spark. Well, he's probably engaged right now, guys. I know. You probably met some magical woman already. Well, if we're speaking in hypotheticals, I really don't know them well enough to say that. I know Tanya was really into Jason. Yeah, she was trying to get Jason to date her for a while.

Really into Jason. Jason, the guy that's dating Caitlyn. Oh. Yeah. Dramatic. Okay, hold on. But Kim and Tanya's vibes are like kind of similar. Because you're like happy, warm people.

Nerds. You don't have like a weird ego that most dudes in Hollywood get. Yet. See you in a year. Maybe you haven't been around long enough. Okay. I have a couple. I have a friend group in my family.

My dad would kick my ass if he saw me like a Hollywood diva. He's like, your personality has changed. You need an ass whooping. Yes. Okay, good. Go ahead. Thank God. I'm like dad.

I have a few Bachelor related. These are not Bachelor. This is like your romance level questions. Okay. the best gift you've ever given a woman we want to know what we're in for this season what kind of gifter are you but like if he gives a gift on the bachelor

the producer has got it for him didn't they but it probably is his idea he's probably like I want to make a scrapbook I want to make a shadow box did you make any like handmade gifts this season did you receive any did you receive handcraft

are they nice I'm a big sentimental guy I like the little things When I do charity events, I like the free t-shirts. That's my favorite. I like collect free t-shirts from charity events. We have some here. You're going to get one.

You'll see me in that all the time. Perfect. Great. Okay. But I would say little things with more meaning behind it go a long way. And if I was to give gifts now, I'm really big on experiences instead of actual objects. Like helicopter rides? Like going to trips.

Helicopter rides and hot tubs. let's make sure we check all these important things okay your worst breakup who broke your heart the worst that you're still like worst heartbreak no worst heartbreak um wait can he is it on the show it's on the show does a girl leave what someone is it on the show uh i wouldn't say it was on the show i would say it was my first love who's that first love um myself ali Allie who? That's just her name? Is Allie kicking herself out?

Is it Allie Fedotowsky? No, Allie Raisman. Oh, yeah. I forgot about that. Yeah, I forgot that. Oh, my God. That was hard. How long did you date her for?

Seven, eight months. Oh, she's cute. Kind of short. It's not that short. I mean, seven, eight months is substantial. And what do you think you learned from that relationship that, like, everyone has to have their heart broken? 100%.

And it makes you a better person. It does. Absolutely. While it was confusing and it was hard in the beginning, it also taught me a lot about myself, what I need, what I want, what I can do better in a relationship. It was like a big growing. It was like a big step for me. And I think like that was it was it was it was really tough. Now, what is the biggest douchebag move you've ever pulled?

Have you ghosted? Oh, we talk about to a to like to a lady you're dating. Like she's really into you and you all of a sudden like go to South Africa for two weeks and don't call her and don't tell her or you date seven girls at one time. I don't have a ton of experience because I like I dated with intent to marry always. Like I never I never really dated. I obviously never slept around. Yeah. But I always had like if I didn't feel like it can get to a certain level, I didn't waste time.

And I'm kind of wish every guy was like that. You are so rare. Yeah. Where do you get that from? Is that like something from your parents? It's a mix. It's a mix between parents, my family values, just my morals, like, how I want a family and, like, how I would want somebody treating my daughter.

I think it's just, like, if you actually, like, sit and be like, how would I want somebody to treat my daughter? And you think about that before you do anything crazy. Yeah. It, like, helps you out. My husband does that at strip clubs. I hope your daughter didn't have it. He's like, this is someone's daughter.

Stop enjoying it. Stop getting a boner. Stop it. Okay, most importantly, have you ever sent a dick pic? Ooh. No. No? Yeah, right.

I don't believe you at all. I believe it. He's a class act. I believe it, too. Classy men do not send dick pics. And he's not sexting like a girl he's dating because they're not having sex yet. You don't send your future wife a dick pic. That's true.

Shit. I believe you. I've never been on a dating app either. No? But have you sent a shirtless? 100%. Yeah. Have you shot the shirtless shower scene on Bachelor yet?

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. it was like the whole opening there's so many shirtless scenes of him every scene was we had extra days just like to shoot

shower scenes what did you do to prep for that oh nothing veggies let me tell you what oh nothing oh he's like nothing

I started owning because at first I was like alright you guys gotta give me a 30 minute heads up I need to do some abs and some push ups and like we started traveling

and I got like maybe two three hours of sleep every night and then we went to Asia and I was drinking or not drinking but eating noodles and like sodium

so I was like alright this is what you guys have to work with like we're just gonna work So, like, I look bloated and whatever. Just don't let it go. And I was like, y'all, it's bulking season. But it ends up looking stocky, which is hot.

That's nice, and that's worse for that. Whatever. Because from what I remember of watching The Bachelor, like, years and years ago, is that the girls really swell throughout the season. Yeah. Because you know they went on their TV diet leading up to the show. And then they're just drinking. And then they're traveling and drinking.

Honestly, but, like, even, like, when you were, like, I'm not wearing makeup today. I like just the real and the raw is, like, attractive to me. Yeah. I think that's, like, the down-to-earth, real raw. The glitz and the glamour. Because you're a good guy. The glitz and the glamour. That could be part of my, like, lifestyle.

Like, don't get me wrong. I like a good party every once in a while. Right. But I love just cooking at home, hanging out, watching Netflix, sitting on the couch with my dog, and, like, the simple things. You are a dream man. I know. What the hell?

Dreamboat. Becca. Yes. has this interview with Colton I'm gonna watch this season you're gonna watch it right 100%

and we're only two episodes in cause I'm invested in him yeah and I also need a direct line to you because I feel like I'm gonna know I'm gonna need you to know

when you're f***ing up okay and I can smell crazy from a woman in five seconds flat oh like if you pick the wrong girl well Becca's

so Becca's never been dumped never yeah she has she's been dumped once she was dumped once by Sean McVay what'd you do I was in seventh grade.

Well, what do you do? Okay, when we come back, Colton's going to help you fix your life. Yes. Hey, ladies! Okay. Ask the Lady Gang. This is a section called Ask the Lady Gang where our ladies write in questions and you give advice. Okay.

Yeah, this is all about life advice. I tried to pick ones that would be kind of good, but we'll see. And feel free to eat a chocolate. Like bachelor friendly. Okay. Yes. Jack's blind. Ready to give some advice.

I'm very blind. Yeah. Okay. First question comes from Dana. Dana says, I had one boyfriend in college who we were close to getting married. We both prioritized our careers and eventually moved on from one another. Now I'm 29, financially independent, and happy with where I'm at professionally. However, I can't seem to slow down or open up into seriously dating anyone.

I'm currently casually dating two guys, and I can't commit to either. How do I open my heart, my schedule, and my mind into seriously dating again? well you didn't read the p.s p.s i love you guys oh i love you too dana it was for us well on behalf of lady gang we love you um that's the fourth member okay but hold on i'm like i'm already confused because dana contradicted herself she's like i'm casually dating two guys but i want something serious like you're gonna you only get out what you put in and if you're casually dating two guys you're not gonna end up in a serious relationship so there's your problem do you think that girls should be

like open honest and direct from the very beginning when they're seeing like a new guy yeah with themselves but with the guy yeah 100%

transparency it doesn't scare you like if a girl was like if a girl told you I'm dating because I want to find my husband that obviously probably wouldn't freak you out

that wouldn't freak me out but that would freak some people out but I also think if it does freak them out then why waste time yeah like

just one thing like for me is just don't waste my time yeah and I think hopefully he could be at home watching Friends

you guys will see that on the season too it's like I'm a big believer in like when it's not there I'm not gonna I understand we have a TV show to make and we have to make

a certain like you have to have enough episodes yeah but like once the connection wasn't there it wasn't going anywhere I don't like to waste time

so you sent like 17 girls home at one night you probably wish as you could tune in tonight and go home it's all

and it's overnight date do you think sorry this is another Bachelor question do you think that you know if any of the girls are there for the wrong reasons can you tell if they want instagram followers i like the wrong reasons thing always

blows my mind because like you sign up for a tv show so you know what you're getting yourself into i did yeah i like i i don't take away from the fact that i did a tv show i pride myself anything i touch in life like i want it to be good i want it to be great so like i want to make a good tv show but i also want to have a relationship at the end of this yeah so there's the fine line of okay are you just saying this to say it for the show or are you saying it and I think that's more of the question more or less like not the wrong reasons

because nowadays people are smart enough to know like hey you can monetize this you can really move yourself in the right direction if you play your cards right all this yada yada yada but you still come out of it with like think about the actors and actresses who film a movie and then they fall in love on set

so like it still can happen And it usually works out in the long term Just being open and honest with each other I'm just joking There's a lot of bachelorettes that are married A lot It's true

And I do believe in that whole thing When you're in a bubble with somebody You get to know them in a different way I'll go to bat for this show too Because without your phone I didn't get to creep on any of their social medias I only knew them So you didn't have a phone either as a bachelor?

No And you don't get access to internet I got a newspaper every once in a while Yeah, what'd you do for fun? I had an iPod, and it was Ari and Rachel's, and I had their music, and I would always play, like, guess whose song this is? Is it Ari or Rachel's? Oh, that's so weird.

Okay, next question. Well, because you have a bunch of days where you're not actually seeing them, right? Like, you're not... No, he's working every day. Oh, you are seeing them every day. Working. I'm on a date every day. Sometimes it is work, I'm sure.

I'm sure. Oh, God, that's my nightmare. Okay, second question comes from Help Me. Help Me says, I've been dating this guy for about three months. things have progressively gotten more serious over time like they naturally do recently i heard from multiple sources that he was talking to his ex again i know that they had almost gotten married before i started dating him i reached out to him and asked him if he was wanting to get back together with her because i was not wanting to be in the middle of it if they're trying to work

things out he responded with quote we just talked and are trying to smooth things over and i have no interest in getting back together with her then he then continues to tell me how he cares about me etc etc etc I know that he said he does not want to get back together with her but I'm confused as to why he's trying to smooth things over am I crazy for not fully believing him should I move forward in the relationship

I'm just not wanting to waste my time trying to compete against an ex I mean I have so many thoughts Colton like smooth things over is different from getting back with somebody cause like if I

I'm friends with Becca and Tia I smooth things over, if that's what you want to call it. But I think just don't, and I'm not saying she's, I don't know her in real life, so I don't, like, I don't want to call her insecure. But, like, be secure enough in what you bring to the relationship and the dynamic. Because, like, for me, it's a big turnoff when you're always getting questioned about something in a relationship. I want somebody who is independent and has their own life and can go about their things, and then we can come together at the end of the day. Right. I mean, I love reaching out to my exes and not to smooth things over, but just for them to be reminded of how great I turned out.

And so sometimes I might call that. I wish she was joking. I sometimes call that like a smoothing things over. That's not smoothing things over. Or cleaning up my side of the street, being like, oh, sorry, I was a crazy person who wrote a book about you. You know what I mean? Like, sometimes I just want to like smooth things over. Or just talked about you on my podcast.

Yeah. You know, so it's just like, you know. Jesus Christ. You're a dick. It never gets old when you talk about that. like it's crazy every time every time i'm mind blown thank you i think if he smooths it over and like continues to go back for any reason yes red flags yeah but it's true like but when you reached out like did you pick up the phone at least see here's what drives me nuts is an instagram

like is not a reach out yes or a comment or a dm or a even a text like i am a phone call or a facetime guy like let's like i suck at texting and plus with my sense of humor and this sort of doesn't work even social media like i just try to be snarky funny but like it just it gets lost oh see i love your comments on instagram i think they're hilarious because i think you have a better sense i know you have a better sense of who i am but there's some people who really think i'm like this boring bland dude because that's how my narrative was for bachelorette right purple paradise as I was like

this serious dealing with this situation but like I honestly am like a light-hearted dude you're so funny no I just remember like sending

I saw like a bunch of comments that you said I'm like he is savage on Instagram and I love it yeah like it's that's why like

you were like can you do that with ABC that's like do and say what I want I mean yeah I represent like the show

and I you're about to never be asked shout out to ABC speaking of ABC will you please take us to Disney yeah you guys

want to go so badly. Can we get a Dumbo pic? I want one for my Instagram so bad. Let's do it. More importantly, can we get the VIP person who just brings us through the night? I want to go to the Club 27 or whatever the hell it is. Let me reach out to my people. I've already done that with John Stamos. I love Colton.

Okay. Becca's about to change her Instagram handle from at Becca to Bachelor number one fan. Colton's number one fan. Colton's number one. Okay, last question. Comes from Bader. That's weird. Okay. No, but You're going to get it in a second.

Master? Bader. Okay. Here we go. So I recently moved to New York City, and I don't know a lot of people, but I started going on dates with this guy I actually knew from an ex. And it was sticky, but also really nice to be with a familiar face. So we went on about three dates, and things were going really well. I definitely had a crush.

So I go back to his place with him, and we end up having sex. And it was great. I thought he definitely finished, and we passed out. A few hours later, I wake up in the middle of the night to the bed shaking a bit. I turned over and he was lying there masturbating. Can we talk about this? Is this fine? Talk about it?

Okay. Next to, I don't know. It's natural, Jack. I'm invested in the story now. I'm like, I don't want to say things I shouldn't. Next to my sleeping body. Would you be able to get over this or would you definitely end things? I love it.

I love it. You love it? I love a man who can take care of himself. It was the first time they were together. Contain yourself. It's too much? Not your husband. If my husband were doing that, I'd be like, thank God, I'm tired.

I don't have to touch you. Yeah, but, like, a first time? Like, why didn't he just wake her up? They'd already done it before. Oh, you think it's weird? Maybe he's a sex addict. Do I think it's weird? I think it's very weird.

It's odd. So, what, she just laid there and pretended to be asleep? I guess. That feels inappropriate. That is inappropriate. I mean, get up and go to the shower is what you're saying? It's a little invasive, I feel like, if the person's right next to you and you don't know them. And you haven't established that as, like, a thing that you do.

But you just had sex. Yeah. Yeah, they just had sex. They passed out, and then she woke up to him yanking it. Yeah, but you just said it's being, once you have sex with somebody, like, it's, I mean, that's, you see all of them. You just ask to do it again, right? It's kind of intimate.

I feel like then all. I just feel like there's nothing more invasive. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. It's like, oh, no, I think I would be more mortified to see someone jerking off. Really? Yeah, yeah. What if they're, like, looking at you under the covers and shit? Yeah.

She didn't say that. It reminds me of the thing Ted Bundy did once. That's why I'm, like, really going back to it. Oh, she loves a syrup. Don't do it. Yeah, Colton. Down the line. I'm taking notes.

Especially not before you have sex. I've been taking notes for the last 26 years of my life. Yeah, and you're ready. Okay, well, listen. We loved having you. I know. Come on back throughout the season for an update. Oh, 100%.

This is airing tomorrow, so tonight we're going to watch another episode. Yes, we don't know when that is. You're in for a good one. Is it? Yeah. I'm so excited. We got Billy Eichner. We'll decide that tomorrow.

Oh, Billy Eichner? Yeah, Nick Offerman and Megan Mullally. Oh, my gosh. No, big people. there's big famous Bachelor fans well no it was just for my season

they were like if Colton's a Bachelor we need to get on this show I love him I understand so they're just the Colton fans I really helped

the Bachelor out by booking some really cool thank God they got you let me tell you something even if you don't find love on this season you're going to be alright

thank you I appreciate it I think you might be better than this season than everyone there I think it's going to be fun I think you're going to be great well you already lived it

have we had any other Bachelors on no just women just the women I mean if you can change this cold dead heart she hates nothing more than The Bachelor there's been times we've had a Bachelor girl on

and she's just done the whole podcast it's true she doesn't even participate so you really switched it up we love you so much you raised the bar and we're so happy to have you good luck on your journey to love and whatever happens

my journey is full of twists and turns it's the most dramatic twist ever just be safe out there kid use protection see you next Tuesday no let's do it together 3 2

see you next Tuesday see ya hey guys thanks so much for listening to the Lady Gang and you can subscribe to our show

if you loved it and we have new episodes every Tuesday and Thursday at Podcast One or wherever you listen to your podcasts now if you're interested in following us on social

we are at the Lady Gang our TV show is Lady Gang TV and if you're really bored until March when our show comes back to your TV Sunday nights

on the e-channel you can follow us personally at kelty at becca at jack vanek you can head on over to our website the ladygang.com and on there you'll see how to send us an ask the lady gang question how to sign up for our newsletter and how to buy all the cute lady gang merch you see all your friends wearing we're so happy you're here and thank you for your support and we will see you next tuesday