LadyGang - The LG Network Presents Mama Said with Jamie-Lynn Sigler & Jenna Parris: Who Am I Now That I’m A Mom?

Episode Date: February 6, 2019

Welcome to the first episode of Mama Said! Each week actress Jamie-Lynn Sigler and singer Jenna Parris will explore the pretty and the, uh... not so pretty aspects of motherhood. This week they discuss the loss of self when becoming a mom. Make sure to stick around for their Mommy Wins and Mommy Fails. You can find "Mama Said with Jamie-Lynn Sigler & Jenna Parris" and more upcoming shows on the LadyGang Network at PodcastOne or wherever you get your favorite podcasts!  Subscribe & download new episodes here: https://apple.co/2MVfqDW See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey guys, it's Kelty and this is the Lady Gang page, but today we have a special surprise for you. As most of you know, we launched our own Lady Gang network earlier this year and we are pleased to present the first show we are launching, Mama Said with Jamie and Jenna. This is very much in the spirit of Lady Gang where Jamie Lynn Sigler and Jenna Parrish are going to talk about all of the things that go into motherhood. The show's hilarious. We've been in a few tapings with them And in order to launch the show and to get all of you hooked, we decided to put it in our feed. So, yes, it is Wednesday. Yes, this is not an episode of Lady Gang.

This is our new show, Mama Said. Make sure that you go over to the Mama Said podcast, wherever you get your podcasts on Spotify, iTunes, or Podcast One, and subscribe and show these girls some love. And also, let us know what topics you want the Mama Said gang to talk about. We're so excited to welcome Jamie and Jenna to the Lady Gang Network, and enjoy the show. Well, a boy's best friend is his mother. No one said being a parent would be easy, but now you don't have to go through it alone. Actress and mother of two Jamie Lynn Sigler has teamed up with musician and stay-at-home mother of two Jenna Paris to create a safe place where you can confess your worst mommy

sins and still feel like you're killing the mommy game. This is Mama Said with Jamie and Jenna. Hello. Hi. Welcome to our first show of Mama Said. I'm Jamie, and this is my co-host, Jenna. How are you? And we're so happy to be here. I guess we should start by kind of introducing ourselves. So I'm Jamie Lynn Sigler, as some of you may know me. I'm an actress, have been for many years,

but I'm also, more importantly, a mom of two little boys, Jack, who is just about to be one, and Beau, who is five and a half, married to a handsome man named Cutter, have been through it all with motherhood. I feel like I'm here to commiserate and share and learn from all of you and Miss Jenna. I'm Jenna Paris and nobody knows me. And I have two kids. One is a little boy who's not so little. He's three. And my daughter, who's almost one, Daisy. My son's name is Milo. And husband who is amazing, Neil. Sometimes. Sometimes. No, just kidding. All the time. No, sometimes. So like you said, this is just a place where we can talk and schmooze and really listen to each other about what's going on in our mom lives. It's really hectic and hard.

And I just need, you know, always someone to talk to about things. And that's you most of the time. And here we are. Here we are. So I guess that kind of gets to how this podcast came to be. So Jen and I have a bunch of mutual friends, but we were kind of more like Instagram friends, mainly through our pregnancy with our second kids. I feel like we were sort of started like commenting each other's pictures and then like I slipped into your DMs a little bit. You know my husband. Yes.

Which kind of like... And I gave your husband his Coachella ticket to the place or the year of Coachella where he... I met my husband at Coachella. So I'm basically responsible for it all. She's why we're married. You're welcome. You're welcome.

I mean, thank you. Thank you. Of course. But anyway, so we were DMing each other just about our fears and excitement and done being pregnant and wanting to give birth. And then obviously that continued on through once the babies were born in our late night feedings and we knew each other were up and miserable and just kind of went through it all.

And then Jenna went back through our conversations and we were kind of laughing about what we were talking about and realizing, hey, we don't really have an outlet where we can hear other moms talking about this stuff. And let me also say that Jen and I are very different moms. Right. But we have no judgment about the way we parent. And a lot of the times when you tell me something that you've done, although that's not how I do it, I'm still jealous. Like I'm like, I wish I could be more like you. And vice versa. Yes. So anyway, hence why we're here. We want to create a community for you all to just not feel alone, to feel heard and to hear a curse word every once in a while because who wants to listen to Elmo all the time? So that's why we're

here. A no judgment zone to get real about the pretty and the shitty of motherhood. This is Mama Said with Jamie and Jenna. So here we are for one of my, I think, least favorite things to do, but also the best to hear from others is our Mommy Wins and Fails of the Week. Mommy win. Mommy fail. So my win this week, I am in the process of applying to private schools here in Los Angeles for my son. And for anyone that's been through it, it sucks.

The process is one of the hardest things I've ever been through in my life. I mean, the application takes me three hours for each school to fill out online. Then you've got to have a parent interview, which I, like, am shaking every time. Like, why am I nervous? then your child gets assessed for an hour and a half like you literally walk into a school and be like honey you're gonna go have fun with other kids that you've never met before in a place you've never been before bye how many schools are you applying to three okay and by the way my son's five so this is the process that i'm going through but why it is my win of the week is because i just

had a parent interview yesterday for a school that we really want to go to and my son as jenna knows has been like on my last nerve but he's the cutest he's the cutest little boy ever but he's been an asshole basically like this past month and I'm just done. And I was sitting across from the head of school and she said, I just have to tell you that your son is so special. He was so sweet. He was so engaging. He was so helpful. All the teachers put all these hearts next to his name and I started crying. I felt terrible. I looked at my husband and he was like, Oh my God, I want to give him a hug right now. And I was like, me too. And it just, it took me out to realize that in the day-to-day business of parenting, like sometimes you don't have the perspective of being

like, my kid's f***ing awesome. And I really was able to get that from a really scary lady of a school I really wanted to have my son go to. So I take that as a win because it put me in check. My son was awesome when he wasn't with me in a place he had never been before. And I'm super proud of him. My fail of the week is my husband has been traveling a lot for work and I'm alone. I mean, I have a nanny. Let me say I'm not alone. I have an amazing nanny and she's so helpful. But when I'm home, I'm with my kids and I'm home a lot because I'm not working. So my patience is so thin and it gets all turned on to my five-year-old because my baby is a baby. So I just feel like I'm failing in the sense of every night I go to sleep and he falls

asleep and I take that deep breath or like I hit that joint and I'm like, I should have been nicer. Or I just want to wake him up and hug him right now. Do you do something the next day? Like you wake up and you want to be extra nice to him? Oh, yeah. I pick him up from school with a cake pop from Starbucks. He's like, ooh.

Yeah. So, you know. Me and mommy is fun. Exactly. So I haven't been my best this week and I'm learning. That's all I can say. So what are yours, Jenna? And he still loves you no matter what you do.

Make me feel bad about myself because you're an angel. I'm really not at all. Okay. Mommy, when? Oh, gosh. There's so many. I'm just kidding. There's like zero.

Mommy, when? I think just the fact that my daughter has been sleeping through the night minus last night. But there was a long stretch of her sleeping through the night. And I – actually, it's funny. I am like the queen of sleep training my friends' babies, but I can't do it to my own kids. Like I cannot. My son is the worst sleeper.

My daughter is decent. But like something – I don't know. Like I just can't let her cry. It's really hard. I'm emotional. Like I am probably still super hormonal and I'm still breastfeeding. And I always feel like I have to like go in, give her the boob, and I'm so tired that I just do it. But she's been sleeping.

For like a week straight through the night, which is really exciting. But bringing me to my mommy fail. So yesterday I got mastitis, which – Explain to some people who have never breastfed what that is. Okay. So when you're breastfeeding or pumping or whatever you're doing with your breasts. Whatever torture device you have. Yes, exactly.

You can get clogged ducts and it's painful. And if you're not – I'm trying to wean right now because my daughter is almost one in a few days. So like I have a love-hate relationship with breastfeeding. I f***ing hate it, but I love what it gives to her. We're probably going to have five shows on breast milk. Yeah, we're going to go. So anyway, like, but anyway, mastitis comes like when you're really not on schedule or like maybe you're too full.

So I'm trying to wean and I think it's just really like all the breast milk is just sitting in my breasts. Again, I mean, Angel, her fail is that she got mastitis. No, that's not my fail. That's not my fail. So anyway, I got mastitis and it comes on so quickly. it's like someone injected you with the worst flu known to man. And I had to get my husband to come home. He's really busy at work. And, um, I know he was a little annoyed, but like, I am, I'm never

sick. And when I am, I, it's not like I stop, you know, my husband came home, I was basically dead dying. And, um, I just didn't speak to my daughter when my husband wasn't home yet. I like plot my daughter on the floor. I'm not kidding for like six hours. And I did not communicate with her once. And it was actually probably really good for her. But for me, I felt like a terrible human. Is that not bad? I can't, Jenna. That's just every day for me. But by the way, I wish I could do that. My son needs to be like attached to me. Like he will never play by himself. I need to be on the floor like with his face on my face. But no, but let me just also say that like I didn't really feed her breakfast or lunch. Like I gave her my boo, but like I really didn't care about like

feeding her breakfast or lunch. And she's still here. She's still here. She's still alive. Like I always think I'm going to kill my kids, but they're still here. And yeah, but I just like skipped meals. That's what it was. I felt really bad yesterday. Oh, my God. And then my husband came home. You're amazing.

And I'm terrible. And didn't really rescue me. That's all we feel now after that. But you're a good mommy. So are you. Well, we have survived another week of motherhood. Our children are still somewhat healthy and fed and well. But coming up next is our topic of the week, which a lot of you responded to.

loss of self who am i now that i'm a mommy oof a big one hard one okay so we are back with our topic of the week loss of self who am i now that i'm a mom so we put this out there on instagram to see uh what people wanted to hear and we got a huge response i i think that this is kind of a broad topic that we'll probably come back to again and maybe just kind of scratch the surface because there's really a lot that can be covered under this subject. I think in general, transitioning to becoming a mother is hard. I mean, it's and it's harder if you see people like seemingly doing it well, whether it be like on the street or on Instagram. And we two moms are not that we're going to we're going to keep it super real for you, because I know for me, I can speak only

for myself. The transition was really, really, really, really hard, especially when my first was born. And it's funny, I thought it wouldn't be hard because I was like, oh, I'm around kids so much and I have nephews and it was hard. It still is. I mean, I think there's just so much in your life that changes from work, your career, your job, your sex life really changes because your relationship with your own body really changes. Your independence is gone. Sleep is Spontaneity. Spontaneity. I mean, there's a lot of things.

The list can be super long. Everything changes. Everything. And I can speak from my own two experiences with my two different kids. They were both very different. With Beau, it was terrible. With Jack, it was better. Beau was the older one.

Jack is the younger one. And I love how you're saying it was better. It wasn't good. It was just better. No, it still wasn't wonderful. You know, I think with Beau, okay, so my situation was unique in that I had just come off like a season of a show on NBC and I got pregnant and I was hoping it would get picked up again. I would have the baby and then it didn't. And I had my baby the end of August.

My husband was a minor league baseball player at the time. And I went through pilot season, didn't get anything. He left for spring training and we were apart and I had this little baby and I didn't know what to do. So I figured, all right, well, I'm going to follow him where he plays baseball. By the way, I had no idea that you were doing, I had no idea that you even moved. Yeah. I thought you were in LA. Well, you're learning something new. We moved to Harrisburg, Pennsylvania. And when I say we moved, we lived in a spare bedroom of this wonderful couple's house. Juanita and Paul, hi guys. And also three other baseball players lived there. One with his wife. Hi, LJ. So we were in one room with the baby and I, I am not this person. I hope you'll

get to know me and that I'm like super chill and cool but I was like what the I'm like I used to have a huge apartment in Tribeca and I was on a hit show and like what the f**k am I doing how was your sex life in the attic oh zero sex zero sex because I was on zero sleep I was definitely dealing with postpartum which is probably another 700 shows that we can talk about but I just I had zero identity because I was like a baseball wife and a mom and everything that I knew was gone right and it was so hard how long were you there five months and when he would go on the road I would drive with my son for four hours to Long Island to be with my parents and like that was my reprieve that's actually insane it was every week I would drive back and forth I'm not trying

to get anybody to feel sorry for me it's like a badge of honor that I wear that I was like a badass that first year and like supporting my husband and my kid but it was really hard and I think that I was felt like I was supposed to be feeling feelings about being a mother that I wasn't feeling and I was doing it wrong. And it was really, really hard because I loved my kid, but I was resented him and I resented my husband and I resented my situation and everything that I knew, like I said, was gone. Like I had zero independence. I mean, we're not talking independence, like when I could go to the bathroom or like eat or shower. And it just, I really feel like I lost every ember of my being. And I eventually got it back. And then I went and f***ed it up and

had another kid. But it changes. It's constantly changing and it can get better. And I can say just from my experience that I still deal with the questions of should I go back to work or not, because I feel like a piece of me is missing. But I also hate when somebody else is with my kid all the time. It's just this forever back and forth that I'm sure we'll continue to cover. but a whole other subject. Those were, that was my particular experience with my loss of self. Okay. That's yeah. Um, intense, intense. I mean, I definitely, um, struggle with a lot of loss of self. Um, I think my husband and I, when we met, we were two, we weren't party animals, but we were always spontaneous. We always, you know, went out every single night. We were always

booking vacations two days before. And we kind of like, you know, we like loved doing that. It was, an exciting part of our relationship it it was sexy you know we would like always go to hotels like have a lot of sex oh my god i hope my mother's not gonna listen to this um and i'm like 14 years old no no no no no i it's immaculate conception um but no it and and that all stopped immediately i mean we got married and three months later we got pregnant and it was kind of you know it was really fast um i was lucky we got pregnant really easily and um i loved being pregnant and I was kind of just like you know skating by I was like oh being pregnant is so fun everyone's opening the door for you like people are like running across the street like

bending over backwards for you like pregnancy is so much fun like you feel I felt good I know a lot of people feel like shit but I felt really good I loved my pregnancy yeah I loved both my pregnancies and when I had the baby it was kind of a scary childbirth um he pooped in the womb so he went straight to the NICU for two days um and I know I know and he's such a little shit I'm just kidding And it kind of threw me for a loop. By the way, I'm like kind of crazy as it is. Like I am, you know, I have a little anxiety. I'm like a, you didn't know that about me?

Who doesn't? But by the way, so meconium is when there's poop in the womb. How did they know that they pooped in the womb? Because like poop was like basically coming out of you when the water broke. Oh. So, and it wasn't mine. And it wasn't yours. They could definitely tell the difference.

They told the difference. Let's be honest. We're going to cover labor and delivery. Oh, we have so many poop stories. Everybody poops. And the nurse will tell you didn't poop and you did. Yeah. I like poop is everywhere.

But anyway, so meconium is when the baby poops in the womb and sometimes they ingest it. Sometimes they swallow it. And I am not a doctor. So if like that is kind of not right, like this is yeah, nobody come after me. This is like what I know. And I was so out of it. But anyway, that's what happened. so they wanted to monitor him and like see if his lungs were okay and he was having trouble

breathing so he was in the NICU for two days anyway when we got home I probably lost my marbles and I definitely did and I thought he was gonna die like every second I like he was you know he was breathing hard and I think babies just breathe hard when they are first born and I would yeah and I would call the doctor and I'd be like okay like the baby's breathing really hard like I was just so nervous. I had PTSD from the NICU. And in hindsight, I really wasn't okay. But during that time, I didn't think that I had any postpartum depression or anything. And in hindsight, I think I did. But it was just really scary for me. And my son also never slept. So the no sleep is such a huge thing for moms. I actually at one point, I didn't hallucinate, but I thought I was seeing

things. Like I, I was on no sleep and my husband was too, but I mean for women who just get, yeah, no sleep. It was, when I say no sleep, I literally mean no sleep. My kid, everyone's like, well, your, your child is giving you like at least two hours of sleep. I'm like, no, like a 30 minute increments. Like, and I, I kept going and going and pushing myself and pushing myself. And I, I was a mess and that was really hard. And that was the whole first year. And that was, it's still going on. No, it was the whole first year. I mean, it was definitely hard and it definitely changed after the first year. Well, yeah, because like you said, you were pregnant and you were so happy and it was like all sunshine and rainbows. Right. And then that

happened. So anyway, I was just like trying to keep my kid alive the first year. It was really scary. But also my husband and I wanted to go out still. We wanted to get our lives back together and we wanted to go on vacation, but we couldn't. We never pulled the trigger because I was too scared to leave my kid. I had this like really guilty conscience and, and it sucked. And then I had mommy and me teachers telling me, well, you need to, you need to go on vacation because you need to, you know, get your relationship back with your husband. And it's a good thing. And I still didn't. And, um, well, you know, what kind of sucks is that everybody tells you, like, you need to do this for this person, for your kid and then your husband and your family,

but not many people say that you need to do it for you. I know. Because when you are falling apart everything else does yes and I yeah basically the first year I was falling apart yeah and I think everyone does yeah you know I think that I mean I can speak you know old salty vet here with like a five and a half year old that once my son started being a little bit more independent walking talking I think the walk in more places I think things just start to feel like oh we're participating in life together i'm i'm back into life and oh you you love me so much i've assured that all of my hard work our bond is there peace i'm leaving for five days to saint thomas with your dad and we'll be back and you'll still love me and he'll still be alive yeah tell

me you miss me on facetime like those were the moments for me where i felt like i was getting a little bit of a stride back right but it's interesting so we had a listener comment and about this subject and said did i actually even know myself before having kids i still feel like i'm figuring it out and i feel like she nailed it because that is the truth i feel like not to get too hippy dippy or philosophical but like we're constantly evolving we're always changing we're always learning we're trying to always become better versions of ourselves but it's more the spontaneity that we lose when we become moms and i think that the fact that their needs your family's needs come before your own 99 but let's be honest 100 of the time and i'm not even talking

about like trips and nights out i'm talking about when you eat when you sleep when you go to the bathroom poop when you like the essentials for like survival showering i never shower it's disgusting oh god my husband gets disgusted with me he's like how many days since you've showered I'm like, it's not worth talking about. And until I smell, don't worry about it. You know, I kind of tell my husband, I'm like, oh, my God, I haven't showered in like three days to see if he's like, oh, that's gross. Or, oh, my gosh, I feel bad for you. You need to shower more.

And he's just like, oh. Oh, my husband is so turned off by it. But I'm like, do you know how much energy that takes? But I feel like I must look good without showers, right? Well, that's what dry shampoo and deodorant is for, right? Yeah, totally. I mean, look, you used to be in control of your own life. I mean, a trip to dry bar is a f***ing.

Everything. I'm going to go today. The joy. I'm going to go today. The joy. Because I can rock that blowout for a long, long, long time. Until like shit is in your hair. Yes.

Exactly. Yeah. But I think what we can say to all of you that are suffering out there with your loss of self, things are always changing. It will get easier. And the second time around now, I think with my baby, I'm a little bit more present because I know it will change. I know that things will get better.

I still have my, my hard moments and I still have my days where I'm, I love him and he's so cute, but I'm just like, what is life? Like I, like I still have Bravo on in the background because I need to understand what's happening in Vanderpump rules. And like, I can't miss it because I go to sleep at eight 30 and I can't stay awake until nine. I'm impressed that you can actually still like watch TV and follow. Oh, I mean, I watch TV and I'm like scroll through Instagram so I can multitask.

Do you know what I mean? So I can also like play with blocks and stare at Stassi. But like I just think that what advice that we can give you is that reaching out to people. Just like I did to you. Yes. Right. We did to each other. Reaching out to mom friends.

Even if you just talk about your kids the whole time, at least like you're looking at another adult and you're and you're venting about your frustrations. You're not just going through it alone. Classes. And when I was in Harrisburg, Pennsylvania, eventually I like researched a local my gym and even just taking him there and not knowing anybody, but just being around other adults and having him play with other people aside from me was really helpful. I mean, hobbies are great. I mean, I've never found one other than Bravo, I guess, but it's fine.

It's fulfilled me. I just bought beads. I'm going to, I'm, I'm beating. She sent me a screenshot the other day. Oh, and a friendship bracelet. I was like, bitch, how do you know those, those like patterns still? It's like a bicycle. I was really impressed.

You just like pick it up. I haven't done it in 20 years. No way. It was amazing. But I also think you can listen to us. Maybe we'll help you. We will. I think go easy on yourself.

And the number one is stop comparing yourself. I mean, I think that can go across the board. Which is also impossible. But if you can limit it. I still follow like the seemingly like perfect mothers who are like making the baby food and wear makeup every day. And I'm like, oh. By the way, people who are making baby food, like that's never been me.

I am like – I'm like giving my kid baby food from the jar. I'm like, I hope this is like not lead – or like whatever poison. Oh, she will send me articles and be like, don't put this in the dishwasher. I'm like, but it's easier. It's okay. You know? I mean, it's fine. I try.

I try. And I also think that, you know, loss of self also like involves like the loss of who you are to the other people in your life, particularly your husband. Right. I mean, I think the first year there were many times where I would look at Cutter and be like, are we going to make it? Are we OK? Do I even like you? Like, I love with you. I really could care less if we ever have sex again.

Like, I completely shut off. I hated my life. I hated my body. I loved my kid. Well, that's the thing. I was so uncomfortable in my body, with my body, with both kids, but definitely with my daughter because I lost the weight really fast with my son and not my daughter. And I'm just like, I don't even want to have sex. I don't want him to look at me. I don't even want to go there. And that's terrible because that puts a stop to everything. Oh, for sure. And that's, by the way, that's like a number one need for a man to know that they feel loved and important. And look, my husband's eight years younger than me. He's not even 30 yet. So like, let's talk about like the unbalance of like sex drives here. We're like, we're bad. But, so with Beau, I could have, I never needed to see his penis again. But after Jack, I don't know. I'm like, I told you, I was like super into my husband. And, like, sex is not an issue this time around. So I don't know why.

There's no rhyme or reason. You'd think it would be less because I'm literally, like, hopscotching back and forth, ping-ponging back and forth to each kid. Like, and I don't rest during that time. You're, like, ping-ponging with kids, like, while having sex with your husband. Yeah. Like, every second. We make time for it. And what I will say, we have done.

I feel really bad right now. Like, I need to have more sex. I'm coming home to have sex right now. Well, good. Just kidding. I'm not. I'm like, hey, let me, this is my good deed of the day for Neil. But we've done a couple of weekends alone together, like literally two days, like an

hour, like to Newport Beach or to Santa Barbara, just the two of us. And it's a weekend filled with like fun and sex. And then I'm like, okay, I've reached my quota. He's probably not going to bother me for like two weeks. And we're good. I need to go away so badly. I told my husband, like, I don't mind if you book a hotel at LAX. I swear to God, I will.

I'm not kidding. I will take a bed anywhere, like room service. I definitely have some points somewhere. It's like my happy gift for you. Oh my God. But that's the thing. Like we try to book and like my husband is so indecisive. If you're listening to this, Neil, I'm booking a trip.

Yeah, you book and just say show up. He's going to get sex. He shouldn't care where it is. I know. Yeah. Okay. Well, I feel like for a while during this dark time in Harrisburg, Pennsylvania that I've talked for a long time about, there were moments where I would look at my son and feel

like, I'm supposed to love you and I'm supposed to feel the greatest love I've ever felt. And all I'm feeling is how did I fuck up my life? Right. How did I do this? This is, this doesn't feel right. I wasn't meant for this. I'm doing this wrong. What did you feel like you were missing? Just like being back in LA and like, it's not even like I felt like anything particularly was missing. I just didn't feel like me anymore. I just, and I just, I felt so, I felt like I should have been knowing what to do. And so I wasn't asking for help. I wasn't talking to anybody bed about it. And it's not even like a therapist, just like even a person. And I was I was angry and I was tired and I probably wasn't a great wife and I probably wasn't a great friend or

daughter or anything. And it's just it makes me sad, you know, but I had to go through it because now I have perspective. And I think that the reason why I want to be so open and candid about this is because I think that a lot of moms do go through this and we're ashamed to talk about it. Yeah. And I think postpartum does go undiagnosed for a long time. And I think I was I was more keen to it when jack was born of noticing the signs and being like i'm not a bad person i'm not a bad person this is okay this can change and i also think that a lot of times um like a quote that i always hear that everyone told me and i don't even know if they stuck to it themselves is like cherish this first year you're never gonna get it back like this is like hold your baby

cradle your baby like just like don't move and i never felt that way i was always anxious i was always thinking about like oh my god am i gonna sleep i was always thinking about is he okay is breathing you want them to hit the milestones i want them to hit the milestones like yeah and i was just too nervous about anything maybe that's just me me like no it's everybody but with my second kid i was also like fast forward to a year which is in like four days by the way and and i just like for me i don't like that newborn baby phase like it's and i was always embarrassed to admit it when everyone was like you know don't you love like just like holding this little kid and i do i did like they were so adorable but it scared me like the first year yeah scared me

Yeah. When they're more mobile, it's easier. Yeah. When they communicate, when they're mobile, like when you don't know what they need or like if they're hungry or not, like you are just like guessing everything. And I was always worried. I was overfeeding, underfeeding. They were not sleeping enough. They were sleeping too much. And it just like threw me. It just threw me. So basically to all those expectant moms out there, you f***ed for the next 12 months. Yeah. See you next Tuesday. And if you're just newly pregnant, you're for longer than that i'm just kidding no no basically we're just you're not alone it's all good you're not alone it'll be okay husbands for the most part won't go anywhere they'll get it

basically i i described this to my husband like i'm on my period for a really long time and i'll tell you when it's done oh my god you know what i mean yeah and i just got my period for the first time last week dude you're i got my period i was still breastfeeding but i i got my period six weeks after i gave birth and i was yeah i mean it's everybody's different myrtle over here i guess oh yeah that's what happened gotta be careful cutter you're listening to mama said with jamie and jenna and now back to mama said with jamie and jenna Welcome back to our favorite, most favorite segment, which was the original title of this

podcast, Shitty Mommy. Shitty Mommy! Love it. Where we will give you guys eventually, but right now we're going to take the reins, the chance to confess your deepest, darkest mommy sins and realize you are not the only one. A lot of us feel this way. A lot of us have done it and it's okay. You guys need to realize that we are all trying our best, including the two of us.

We need to realize that. And that's all we can do. So, Jen, I'm going to ask you first. Okay. What makes you a shitty mommy? Oh, God. So many things make me a shitty mommy, Jamie. Just one.

Okay. This is like kind of like shitty mommy slash like shitty wife type of thing. Okay. But shitty mommy too. The other day I couldn't take it anymore. I had to remove myself from my kids, my husband. Everyone was pissing me off. I was going to explode instead of, you know, just yelling and being the bitch that I usually am when I have no sleep. I pretended that I had a really bad stomach ache and I had to go to the bathroom.

And I sat there for like 25, 30 minutes and just scrolled Instagram. And I like my husband was like, are you okay in there? And my kids were screaming for me. I had to feed my daughter and I didn't care. I just wanted to be alone. And I don't care if it makes me a shitty mommy. Like I just needed to pretend that I needed to poop. And so no one could bother me because what's everyone going to say? Like, you cannot poop right now. Of course you have to poop. Of course. And now, of course, like every time I'm in the bathroom, my husband's going to be like, you're not really pooping. Get out of there. Well, he's going to catch and be like, She liked that two minutes ago.

I know. I know. But but yeah, I just I had to escape. So Jenna. Oh, no. Well, first of all, you did basically by the book, like what Jill Spivak, who's our like L.A. mommy guru will probably have on this show eventually at one point. Yeah. We'll always say is just remove yourself from the situation and take a deep breath. You did the right thing. Except I. That to me would be like a great day, like a great moment as a mom. So now I'm terrified to admit why I am a shitty mommy.

Go for it. I'll make you feel better. Please love me still. Okay. You guys, when I don't sleep, I think I said this earlier, I'm a terrible person. I'm terrible. And like Jenna said, when I'm saying no sleep, like Jack was so bad, I got maybe 30 minutes at a time. Maybe.

And when we were talking three weeks straight of that, and my husband was in London for two weeks. What was going on with him? I have no idea. Like, tea day? Well, it was when I was switching from breastfeeding to formula. Oh, this was, like, back in the day. And his tummy was bad. Yes, this is back in the day.

And I was like, f*** it, putting on his back. I'm going to put him on his tummy. And then, like, he was frustrated because he couldn't change his head. Anyway, I can get into so many details. But the fact is, the real story here is why I'm a shit-ass mom. but I said I feel so bad like you're the only person I would like tell this to in the middle of the night and text you I would say terrible things to my baby I would just be like you're annoying you're ruining my life and he's just go to sleep what the is wrong with you and he's just

looking up at you let me say okay I never shook him I put him down and I would say this like about a foot away from his face but like i feel so bad that i said it but i just at four in the morning when you're literally on no sleep and i know i gotta wake up my other kid in two hours to take him to school to come back to pump and then nurse and then do it all day like i just i just you needed to let it out sleep and i and my husband was gone and i just you needed to let it out it's really really wrong to do that but did it make you feel better no okay it didn't make me feel better i still have nightmares about it i'm i remember jenna i would text jenna and be like they just called jack an asshole and she was like he won't remember i'm like that doesn't

make me feel better by the way that's my like like my mantra my motto whatever it is and it's like they won't remember for the first like what is it two years of their lives so like any one year three three okay memories are always like from three so like anything i do that i feel really shitty about i'm always like but it's okay jenna because they won't ever remember so it's fine yeah he won't remember you guys please don't judge me my children love me i'm i i i promise they really do she's the best mom by the way they've never been touched or abused or anything But I did say some colorful things at some desperate, dark moments that I'm not proud of. I'm hoping that one or two of you out there have.

Me. No. Jana, you were probably like, you're really bothering me right now, Daisy. Definitely not. I really don't appreciate you disturbing mommy. You're literally. Whatever. No.

A devil. The baby just kept crying, by the way, the entire time that I'm saying this to him. It's not like he was, like, soothed by, like, my, like, insults that were being thrown at him by any means. But I couldn't figure out what was wrong. He didn't want my boob. His diaper was clean. He, as far as I know, the doctor said, didn't have reflux. Like, what the f**k is wrong?

He was just being a baby. Newborn. He was just being a baby. Just being a newborn. And sometimes they're really annoying. Sometimes babies can get really annoying. Well, I let him know. Yeah, you do.

I really let him know. And I let him have it. And if his first word is shit, don't be surprised. Oh, fo' sho'. It's going to be some sort of four-letter obscenity. It's coming out soon. Whatever. I laugh at that.

It's fine. But I feel like this part of the show is like the crux of why we started it. It's really about being able to confess these sins and realize you're not alone because that's the one thing that motherhood can give you in the beginning is a real sense of loneliness. not only a loss of self but a real sense of loneliness and you just are not doing it right or how to do it and you don't know how to reach out because you don't you think you're instinctually you're embarrassed you're embarrassed to like tell someone that you did xyz and exactly you're not alone so i will never tell you again why i'm a shitty mommy and we're gonna always ask you guys please to reach out to us and we will support you and tell you that it's a and no

judges no judges in our community here there is zero judgment allowed sorry but you'll get kicked out. This is a place for moms to feel supported and awesome. So we're going to ask you guys, please confess your sins to us with a hashtag shitty mommy. Let us know why you're shitty mommy. We're here to make you feel better. We can't wait to hear it. Think of this as a little therapy session. Yes. And again, I promise you that we have all been there. We've all either done it or thought about it or really wanted to do it, but just enough balls guarantee that I'm the one that probably did it. No, I'm bad a lot of the time. Jenna. What? You're not. I am. I am. You're not. Fine. My husband will disagree with you, but yeah. Well, but guess what? Then your

kid will still ace his private school evaluation. For sure. So don't worry if you call them an asshole when they're a few months old. Right. It'll all be well. So mommy and possibly daddy friends please send us your shitty mommy moments visit our facebook page or email us we will be happy to either shout you out or put it anonymously on our show and we will appreciate your confession and support you and judge you i'm kidding no we won't we love you okay that's our first show thank you so much you guys for joining us and being with us we are aiming here to make a community of honesty, support, and fun. Motherhood is the hardest job in the world, the absolute hardest. Would you agree? I agree. And the fact that you're even listening to this

means that you care about your kids, your family, and believe it or not, most importantly, yep, yourself. And so till next time, remember, Mama said, without enough sleep, we all become tall two-year-olds. Till next time. Bye. Thanks for listening to Mama Said with Jamie and Jenna. New episodes are available weekly at PodcastOne.com, the Podcast One app, or wherever you get your podcasts. And if you love the show, don't forget to leave a rating and review. Sponsors for this episode of Mama Said are... Shoe Dazzle. Go to ShoeDazzle.com slash Mama to get your first pair of shoes for 75% off.

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