LadyGang - The Unexplainable SMADS

Episode Date: November 16, 2021

Ever wonder what it feels like to be sad and mad at the same time? With it getting darker earlier, the cold weather setting in and her birthday approaching, Keltie is experiencing this new type of emotion. It’s up to Becca and Jac to help her find the little joys and prep for her upcoming trip to New York City. Check out our amazing sponsors!!! Bite: Get 20% off your first subscription order at TryBite.com/ladygang or use code LADYGANG at checkout!  Rothys: Get $20 off your first purchase at rothys.com/ladygang  Canva: Go to Canva.me/lady to get your FREE 45-day extended trial! obé Fitness: Use code LADYGANG to get a WHOLE MONTH FREE at obefitness.com  BetterHelp: Get 10% off their first month of online therapy at BetterHelp.com/ladygang  Travis Mathew: Looking to Layer Up? Visit TravisMathew.com/podcast and use the code "LADY20" to get 20% off your first purchase! Chinet: Learn how to spruce up your next gathering at MyChinet.com  Justworks: Find out how Justworks can help YOUR business at Justworks.com  Scream For Ice Cream: Sweeten up your sex life by going to screamforicecreamagain.com See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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it off yet well as you shouldn't everybody should be living in their swackets you know it's been weeks and it's all i want to wear i wear it to bed i wear it out of the shower it really is a bathrobe sweater slash i wore it out in public today so in my life do you think that you're ever gonna wash it or are you just gonna live in your stench i hate when she does this i'm gonna treat it like a fine fur and just once every five years have it re that's gross um the only thing we stepped up in the design of this swacket is nothing good have um the way people say never buy a onesie with like buttons on it for a baby and not even have given her or magnets we should have made the buttons fate like faux buttons but really have

it yeah that button is hard I mean you know the our inspiration does have a zipper on it and it is quite easy to zip up and down but you know you can do a button you trash humans we had to elevate it a zippered sweater is a is definitely a vibe but like it's it's a specific look you're not trying anymore no no no you've given up which is what i have usually given up so it's fine can we screenshot jack's the complexion that she has pre-shower post spray tan it is it's aggressive it's very donald trump but you know what at the end of the day it's a great tan once you wash it off what color did you get medium two whatever that is how many spray tans a year. Do you think you get, I get one every time I'm going to do something. And lately I've

been doing things every single week. So, and I, I do not get a discount from my gal. So it's, it's definitely stacking up in my pocketbook. So are you spending like $400 a month on spray tans? Maybe like two 50. Hey, I'm Jack. Listen, I, it, it is for my soul. It's not even for the No, it's like therapy. You don't do therapy. You do spray tan. It's true. I mean, my self-confidence when I don't have a spray tan is definitely, and as I get older, I'm like the cellulite starts showing more and more and, uh, it's not great without a spray tan. So it's the only way that I can really feel baseline. Okay. You know what? Uh, Chelsea Handler was just talking about how much she loves Joe Coy because the other day she was complaining about having cellulite on her arm

and he was like, yeah, yeah. I love when women have cellulite, you're supposed to have cellulite. It's sexy. First of all, I can't say the word cellulite. Um, but I thought that was really cute. And I really like that. That's how real men feel about cellulite. Men don't give a shit. No, they don't. They number one, most men don't even notice it or know what it is. Like Jared did literally had no idea what cellulite was until I showed it to him. And he's like, I would have never noticed that. And I don't give a single, I don't think men care. It's like a woman, we like beat ourselves up for nothing. Do you guys go through this thing? And I'm just going to, because we don't have a guest today, I'm really going to like stretch this out and

go on a tangent. I'm just going to watch Kelsey's head explode. Um, but I'm so chill. Okay, cool. Um, I swag it. It's like a comfort blanket. Nothing can get to me good. It's like your thunder vest as a dog. Yeah. Okay. So I've been having a struggle where I've been seeing Gen Z is crushing it with their body confidence and the way that Gen Z years and 20 year olds are not obsessing over their bodies is amazing. And I have this problem though, where I go to put on a bathing suit. Cause we're going to the Bahamas soon with some of our friends and I'm having so much trouble more than I've ever had in my life. Finding a bathing suit. I feel good in. Yeah. And every time I put on a bathing suit, I'm like thinking about all these

bathing suit brands who have women who are not stick figures modeling their bathing suits. All these dope bathing suit brands have these women who have curves, who don't have perfect baby-like bottoms. They've got some cellulite, they've got some curves, they've got some boobs, they've got all these things happening and they look amazing. They look amazing. here's my problem i did you just jump back because you hurt my my thing is very loud and then i oh i literally went back like i'm a highly sensitive person the thunder you were really passionate about your bathing suit story continue here's my problem is that i don't have big boobs i don't have curvy body. I don't have, but I'm not a tall, you know, six foot woman. Who's a stick

figure. They don't have any short people. This is what I'm mad about. Okay. No, they don't show me one bathing suit brand that shows a girl with a short leg. That is the one thing they're not representing in these freaking bathing suits, because you know what? It sucks. I, every time I'm like, you know what? If I had big boobs and I had a big butt, I would be so happy because there's representation now. And I would be flouncing around in bathing suit,

but you know what they don't have? A girl with the legs of an eight-year-old. I'm so excited to tell you my good week because it has to do with your legs. Oh, I hope it doesn't bring me down. Anyways, that's my public service announcement. I want to see models. You're going to do all types of people.

You could also show a woman under five foot seven. in a bathing suit. Godspeed. So I don't feel confident yet, people, society. I don't feel confident in my bathing suits. Okay. What's the time for? Good week, bad week. Good week. Yes, it is. Bad week. Oh no. So my face is frozen right now. I went for a Vivace treatment today, which I'm really excited about because it actually works. But while I was there, I had a fucking reckoning with the creator of Vivace and he told, I swear to God, no, I went to a, I went to a thing where they were like showing the new Vivace machines. And then they pumped, they took some of my blood for like this thing called SoMe, which is like this new

skincare that it uses your blood or whatever. Anyway, live your life. You know, I'll try anything for you. So anyway, I was there having a kiki with the guy that like his company made Vivace, which is a microneedling that has like a frequency. I'm not getting paid for this. I'm just telling you. And I buy my Vivace's full price. Anyway, he was like, well, our first Vivace's were through RealSelf. So you didn't actually do all that. Then I got hooked and now I pay and go. So anyway, I went to this, this one today and I'm talking to a guy and I was like, I really, really need you to make a giant paddle of this mic. Cause it does tighten the out of your skin. Yeah. It's really worked. I was like, can you do it? I need it on my butt. I knew whatever. He's

like, he's like, don't, don't say I'm saying this, but like, just ask them. Yeah. They'll do your knees. Then I got into with another woman who was like, I did my knees and it's incredible. If you have an old saggy knee, you can microneedle with the radio current Vivace, your knee it's off brand. I don't think everyone's going to be able to do it for you, but someone you can weasel into it and their elbows. And then Jill, our friend, who's a publicist for like all of these different beauty brands. She told me that she micro needed her vagina. Oh, they were seeing if it works. She had, um, stretch marks from baby being born. And she was like at the office and someone was like, we really want to see if it tightens a loose vagina lip. And she was like,

i volunteers tribute so they've avocied her vagina and she said i haven't had any complaints i want to do it on my thighs well i want to do it on my knees because i am still getting fucking calm or dms on my baby knees so i literally got a dm two days ago so i would like to vivace my knees if they need another knee model let them know kelty anyway that was my good week my bad week is i recently had to go to san diego for work and i did the thing that i should never do which is i drove myself i'm a terrible driver i should never drive for more than 10 minutes at a time i should definitely not be driving on the highway all the way down to san diego by myself but i drove to san diego by by myself and of course of course i knew san

diego was like two and a half hours away in my mind i gave myself two hours because i was going super early morning. It took me four and a half hours and I peed my pants on the way I had to pull over. I want to personally apologize for the university of San Diego's parking lot. I had to pee so bad that I started getting the hot flashes and then the chills. And I was like, I'm going to have to pee on the side of the road, but there was nowhere to pee. So I pulled into the university of San Diego's parking lot. And I mean, it was not empty. It was full of people. and a truck pulled in right behind me. I got out of my car.

I squatted. I peed on the ground in the parking lot. There was no forest. There was nothing. And then I got up and I gave a wave to everyone because I was sure that there was someone in window of one of these buildings watching me. And I got in my car and I left.

I am old and I still pee my pants. Thank you for coming to my TikTok. But my knees are fucking tight. This, I mean, this has happened to me before because I have a very small bladder and um i have done the p and a venti starbucks cup before in the car because then you don't have to actually like get outside your car and have somebody see you is your stream streamlined i don't have a i don't have a streamlined stream um that's what i'm saying like my stream is not

streamlined like it's it's like um it like goes all over the shower you have to like cup you have a cup your your whole thing oh with the cup you're not gonna like go down like it's a toilet you got to put it right up there so it like catches all the overflow and then what do you do with the cup throw it away it looks like green tea depending on the how much how hydrated you are how often are you having to pee in your car and also happen to have a Starbucks cup I actually had to do this when i was in san diego going to get my hair done at sherry's before because i was like on my way down and i couldn't find somewhere to pull over and i had to pee so bad and i was like this is gonna be and i think it was during covid too that i was like scared to go into a bathroom yeah yeah

san diego will screw you up because then once you get there you have to find parking and there's never parking so you're like you can't just zoom in anyway live your life who's california traffic i mean i had to stop driving to san diego to get my hair done because it was a four-hour drive yeah i the only way i do it is because i just take a pit stop stop in orange county you know that's smart gotta do it all right i'll go next um my good week is that i'm very late to the party but i finally went to go see hamilton i have seen hamilton i can talk about it with people that talk about it i'm in over the other day the other day the other day we went to starbucks and jack started having a conversation about how great of a show phantom of the opera no stop it

i like it she's like phantom she's like i'm going to see hamilton i was like okay i was like well by the way like i was very confused during all of hamilton and then she's like but i also love phantom of the opera no you were saying something about phantom of the opera like somebody in your life is doing something with it and i was like i like phantom of the opera and you're like i know what you like it because it's like an emo guy sad emo with like his hair across his face being like I am the creature of the night I love you but I can't have you yeah I'm like sexually attracted to the phantom that's why or I'm assuming I was I saw it when I was a kid but like I liked the soundtrack I like Mr. Mistoffelees from Cats and then I like the theme song the Phantom of the

Opera well Phantom of the Opera freaked me out because when it played the Jubilee Auditorium in edmonton alberta canada i remember everyone in town was talking about the chandelier the chandelier falls and i literally as an eight-year-old sat there the whole time being worried about getting crushed by the chandelier like it was going to fall into the audience and kill me and no one was like it's going to slightly move five feet down and there's going to be some like flashes of lightning and it's going to be scary i literally thought it falls from the ceiling and might get us like people were not gentle with me enough as a child anyway jack what do you think a Hamilton? Um, I mean, it is, is quite hard to follow very fast, but I think I got the gist of

it. And, uh, like I, I feel like I know it enough to have a conversation. So if anybody wants to talk about Hamilton, I feel like I'm, I can be involved. Oh my God. Don't throw away your shot three. Yeah. Yeah. Don't throw away your shot. See, I remember it. I can, do you know who was playing Hamilton? The lead was a Joseph Morales. Uh, I don't know. And I was also, you know what my fucking LASIK didn't work too well because I couldn't see what anybody looked like. I was too far back. They all look the same. That's the problem. And I didn't realize, I didn't realize, I know this happens in most plays. I don't really go see many plays on Broadway. They're the same guy that played the Lafayette character also played Thomas Jefferson. I didn't know people

played multiple characters. I was really thrown for a loop. Honestly, I've never been more confused in a show. Think of me, a Canadian. I didn't even study American history. I don't know who thomas jefferson is honestly even if you did study american history i don't remember shit so i was probably at the baseline three girls they're all the wives there's two sisters and i'm assuming one married him and then i think one was in love with him yeah and i and then what's the third sister do nothing she was kind of just like she's like i'm betty or whatever her name was she did that in the song they're like i'm angelica i'm isabella she's like i'm betty you know what i just thought of that could be fucking great

is jack reenacting musicals i can like give you yes it is i fucking swear i just okay hold on someone google the characters of hamilton they're called the schuler sisters or something okay but is one named betty don't think they are named betty i think it's angelica oh god that was so funny i'm gonna find it out i'm finding it out right now jack the schuler sisters as a non-musical enthusiast is so good it's like me doing emo music wait what who did you say it was betty yes peggy peggy whatever cornelia angelica and peggy and she goes and i'm peggy i fucking swear in that song where they introduce them oh my god that's the whole thing there's like the two like

whatever she must be like the i don't know who's the peggy of the lady gang definitely me yeah i'm peggy give me my markers you are can i tell you guys something this has nothing sorry i know it's still your turn but i'm so depressed right now i'll talk about this after the break but anyway my therapist was like you have to find your happiness again so i'm going to new york for work to host the thanksgiving there's your happiness wait no don't say this it's my good week what what she's about to say that i then that i booked that i booked solo tickets to all the broadway shows i wanted to see oh no oh yeah so i booked a ticket i'm going to see company next week and i'm going to see moulin rouge by myself in new york yeah and i didn't even

ask chris if you wanted to go because i was like you know what will make me upset if i go and then you're on the phone the whole time and people are calling you and you're like waiting for intermission. So you can do more work. I was like, I'm going to go, I'm going to dress up and I have a glass of wine. I'm going to sit by myself and just enjoy some theater. I love going to Broadway shows by myself. Me too. I don't want to have to chit chat. I feel like you don't need to go with anybody. No. It's like the movies. There's no reason to be with someone unless you need to borrow their sweater because you're cold. And I'm wearing a coat. I went with like a group of my girlfriends and like intermission. They're like, how do you like it? Are you, you're like, I'm

peggy i'm peggy that's what i said i was like yeah i think i get it i don't know is that a christmas pillow behind you yeah you know what last christmas i think you made fun of it same thing happened and you brought it out for the holidays yeah i i uh i do decorate it says gone skin it's one of those like wool stitch i love the wool stitch pillows i do love a wool stitch pillow but that is the weirdest thing about you jack what you're so picky you're like i won't wear a shirt unless it is made with this percentage of cottons and these types of buttons and don't you dare put a font that has a little bit of a turned edge but like here's an ugly ass fucking pillow and i want it in all my shots i think it's cute i have a pug wearing a santa hat a little

wool stitch pillow too i've just my holiday happiness so you guys i'm peggy okay i'm gonna continue my bad week is an easy one my car mysteriously smells like weed and I don't know where it's coming from I don't know how it got your parking garage for sure no it's Venice it's in my car it's only in my car not on the outside it started last night at after Hamilton I parked in a like a parking lot but nobody ended up getting in my car and I had my keys there's got to be some weed in there somewhere i mean the definitely anna rose was in there and she dropped a joint i mean that's the one that was in there it's definitely yeah there's weed in there like it doesn't just smell like weed for no reason it's not it's mysterious i don't know it's not

mysterious someone left weed in your car peggy i'm peggy okay i gotta look i gotta do a deep dive sorry about your car okay so my good week i'm glad you didn't spoil this for me kelty you're welcome between our shared calendar for lady gang and you know these these two dipshits in my life jack and kelty they're always entering like their own personal reservations for dinner in like the work calendar or their flight information not on purpose but yeah all all i just screamed sorry it's all by accident. And so occasionally I just get little like sprinkles into what's happening in their real lives, their personal lives. So I get sent a text message yesterday with Kelty and a number

I don't know. Oh yeah. This is funny. Okay. Thinking of coming to NYC to take some dance classes. Have you been to BDC or Steps? That's Broadway Dance Center. How is it? Do they know there's literally no punctuation. How is it? Do they make you wear masks? And I'm looking at this text and I'm like, okay, she knows I haven't been to New York in two years. Right. And who's this other person? And I'm like, oh, clearly she's not meant to message me here. Accidental group text. Accidental group text. Mysterious person responds. I don't know. It keeps changing. Another person who doesn't use punctuation. It's weird. kelty wait i don't know why becca is tied by yeah becca is on tie by like typhoon

and then the person you know responds with more non-punctuation oh my god i'm just like this is a glimpse into kelty's communication with friends outside of work it's weird who is this person it's my friend ally um she is a dancer my sir mikesner yeah she was in the share show very beautiful she was the girl in the yellow dress when she was like 18 years old she just started a leonard leonardo dicaprio company a leotard company called high lux dance where they make sexual high cut leotards i really could have used it i thought she would know about the dance classes i don't know how the you got on the text and then i never used punctuation and um she doesn't either you know your match no ali is like the spaciest person like you'd only talk

or like twice a year and she'll give you like non-information like that's that's the extent of it all but like there's no one you want to have wine with more or like a martini martini drinker great okay next story but i am going to take some dance classes that's going to go with my broadway and dance i'm going to get back to my roots of happiness that's cool maybe you're always on a mission to find some sort of force happiness yeah force joy you guys i i'm gonna I'm going to tell you about it later. What? I'm meant to ski climb. Fine. I'll make this short. I'm Peggy.

Who did you think her name was? Betsy? Betty? Betty. I'm Betty. Type of name. It's that double consonant shit. My bad week is so upsetting. I, you know, it's no mystery. I've been

dabbling on TikTok just as a viewer, not as a participant. Yeah. And I, when I first downloaded the tiktok app years ago but not years ago like two years ago i that was a joke um it was you should see your faces right now because we don't because we don't get the joke we love tiktok years ago tiktok's only been around for like two years i know that's years that's multiple years whatever anyways i found tie by tie by gatlin the monkey you know gatlin and gatlin yeah gatlin was like og tiktok yeah i was on tiktok the other day and i was thinking what

is gatlin up to yeah gatlin's dead no gatlin is very much alive but rude i am having a hard time watching gatlin these days because her parents owners let her do things like take a sip out of their own juice box, eat cereal off of their own spoons. And it just feels like that crosses a line for me. Okay. Here's a question. Have you ever let Orly or Babs eat something off your fork or spoon and then use that fork or spoon? Okay. I have, I have. You have? Have you ever watched your dog lick their own vagina and then lick your face? Not immediately after. Close though. Close. i never i let dogs there's some there's something so gross about seeing this monkey take a sip out of a yoohoo juice box that a grown human person was drinking out of and then also another really

gross part was her eating the cereal repeatedly putting the spoon in and eating the cereal like a monkey because she's surprise a monkey yeah not it's it's a little barbaric and then it the spoon goes back in and I didn't see the owner take another bite but it was as if they were sharing just seems like you could spread some things between species yeah

gross me out a lot and I don't know if I can follow Gatlin so that's upsetting to me one less follower for Gatlin R.I.P. I don't even know if this monkey is now I need to maybe I'll you'll love Gatlin's right up your she's amazing you're right

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All right, we're back. Um, so recently I had it brought to my attention that there's a word that I have needed my entire life and didn't have the option of using and have since been introduced to it. And now I know how to perfectly define myself as a human. It's called SMAD. It's being sad and mad at the same time. I am going through, this is serious. I'm going through a period of deep SMADness. I have done everything that I was supposed to do. I went on the reset diet. I worked out, I did yoga. I even called my psychiatrist. I upped my fluoxetine, AKA Prozac, 15 milligrams than I've been on for the last 10 years. I was like, I'm so, so low. I've done therapy. I'm

doing everything. I'm in a f***ing mad funk I can't get the f*** out of. Can I tell you what's probably going on as a doctor? Sure. Dr. Tobin. I'm Peggy. So I'm Peggy. Okay. So I was recently listening to Chelsea Handler's podcast and she had this woman on Shelly Tagelsky and she writes about, she's a self-care activist and she was talking about how it's a very, and I'm paraphrasing and whatever, but she really, it rung a bell because I think that our generation and especially people who live in LA, we're obsessed with self-care and we're obsessed with taking care of ourselves and making sure we're feeling good and we're this and we're that. It's very, I, our universe is very much about ourselves. So her whole thing is until you

move that outward, that, that like care outward into other people, into other causes out of yourself, you're always going to be doing this like self exploration in tornado circle that you kind of, there's like, there's, it's just self-indulgent at a certain point. Yeah. It's like focusing too much on yourself. And I think at the end of the day, like nobody is going to be like absolutely a hundred percent happy if it's just like focusing on like what's wrong, what's wrong, what's wrong. You're going to like, it's like confirmation bias. You're probably just always going to find it. And it's like self-work is bullshit. If you do so much of it, what's the point so that you can just look at yourself in the mirror and be like, you've

reached perfection. It's actually like the whole point is to get yourself to a place where you're good enough to like be fueled to give to others and like have it be like, it's not like we should be waiting to get to the point where we're so perfect that then we can give to others. It's sort of like a cyclical thing where giving to others, it's like an AA, they do this thing where like acts of service and stuff is kind of what like makes you feel like you have purpose or there's some messaging in there like that. Again, I'm botching it, but maybe that's what the issue could be is there some kind of like thing you could do for someone else i have done nothing this year but take care of other people no i know that but i mean out of like your own

yes obligation to fuel you as well yes yes yes yes and i think that's i'm gonna try to do that when i go to new york i'm gonna see some shows and i'm gonna go support and i'm gonna see friends and I'm going to like, I really don't want to go to New York early. And Chris is like, come to New York. I'm stuck here for work. And I'm like, I would rather just be at my house. But here's the, here's the issue with this tornado cycle that I'm in. And maybe you guys have thoughts is that obviously there's things that I have to do every day, right? There's like our rigor life. I have to pay my mortgage. I have to do my work. I have to make sure Callie is fed. I have to poop. I have to wash my face. I've brushed my teeth. Like we, right. We all

have like the shit that's like non-negotiable obligation. Got to get out of bed today because I have to go to my job, whatever. Okay. So that stuff I can get through. And then there's like, after that stuff is done, my energy care for anything else is zero. I went to bed the last two nights at 5 15 PM and slept till the morning because I was like, I don't want to be awake. i'm just going to sleep like just went to sleep because that was the best option like that is that's low guys like that's a little bit of a depressive episode i'm gonna let you know like i'm i'm doing all these things because i can feel myself teetering on the edge of like this just meltdown and i'm like okay you're smart you've done all this work on yourself here's the things

that are gonna make you feel better start moving your body go out in the sunshine call a friend Like I'm doing all those self-care things because I got to get myself out of this hopelessness, but God, I'm just feeling like, I'm like, it's all, it's just all little gray at the moment. And I'm so blessed and I'm so privileged and I'm not allowed to be sad, but like, I'm just having the falls. Like now it gets dark so early and I just like, it's dark, it's cold. like i just am having a real case of the falls and i can't figure out if it's is it just is it fall is at the end of the year and i haven't we were locked up so much of the year is it that i'm about to turn 40 and i'm having my 40 depression like i don't know it's probably all

of that yeah it's probably the perfect storm yeah i'm just feeling really and also like i had so much fun in austin because i just raged and like i just laughed for the first time like i can remember being on stage in Austin and someone said something and I laughed so hard that like my upper sternum was aching because I was laughing so hard. And like, I can't remember last time I laughed that hard. So sad. Here's the thing with you too. I think that like, you're like, I'm doing the reset and I'm working out. Like, I think that those are like things that I'm sure do help make you feel better, but they're also these like regimented things that like you, it's like in your mind, they're productive and then you're going to reach this

goal and then you'll feel better once you do the reset for this long. And you work out this many times where it's like, those things aren't like a pure joy kind of a thing, like laughing, like being like drunk and laughing. Like that's a fun thing that you didn't plan to do. And that just brought you actual joy. Yes. Like I think maybe trying to find more things like that, that don't have a check mark in the Bujo and don't have like, I made it to the end of the race. So now I should feel happy. And then you get there and you're like, I don't feel happy after that. You know what I mean? Like things that don't, it's also stuff that's very isolating. Like a reset is isolating. You're doing it by yourself. A Bujo is taking joy out of your life because food brings

you joy, you know, or it brings most people joy. I know it doesn't bring you joy, but right. I mean, it's not to say these things are not great to do in life, but if you're feeling down, I think like you, you, especially Chris being gone, you're very isolated. And when you're in a dark place, it's hard because you want to stay alone, but it's usually the most contradictory behavior that is the most helpful. Yes. So maybe you need to develop more of those. I'm going out of the house. You're going out, you're going to New York, just have like interaction with other humans. And like you said, going and supporting people in these shows is you doing something nice for yourself, but also nice for other people. It's like a, it's not a fully

self self-serving act. It's like a, this is energetically cool for everybody and everybody makes everybody feel good. Yeah. I mean, that's probably why you had so much fun at lady hang. Cause it's like, you felt the energy of a bunch of people that were so excited to be there. yeah just sucks man because it's like when you get but when i get sad i just don't want to do anything it's like that object in motion it's like i just want to sleep i want to take baths i want to read my book i want to be alone i want to talk to anyone and the thing is is that like i'm and the reason i said the word smad it's sad mad because there's this i don't know if you guys ever happens to you but like there's also this level of frustration where like i couldn't get

a thing open or i hit my head the other day like moving up and i just go like i'm like um roy kent on ted lasso like i just go ah like who am i i'm like alone in my house and i'm just like yelling out for no reason like please tell me you guys do this when i'm premenstrual i do oh my god oh exclusively do you jack yeah you grunt yes oh okay cool no i felt like a loser because i was like Kelty you're an old lady like stop grunting about your aggression yeah no I mean I think it happens to most people and I think that Becca was right at the end of the day it's like I know you love to be alone and that is like your happy place a lot of the time but like it also is like to your detriment when you're in these kind of episodes where it's like it's just going to spiral you

and spiral you into like a worse and worse place where it's just like you got to get your like one foot in motion and like maybe see a friend that is not going to offer you anything and is just there to have a glass of wine with you. And like, I think you need more moments like that, that like aren't going to like check a box. Today's episode is brought to you by Obey Fitness. So it's obviously the holiday season. I'm sure we are all just collectively stressed out and it's really hard to get yourself motivated to really work out or go to the gym or really do anything other than sit on your couch, right? But that's why I love Obey Fitness because you can do it from the comfort of your own home whenever you want. So Obey makes the impossible possible when it comes

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energy that you give to the lady hangs it's exhausting it took me a week to repair myself from well maybe don't drink shakilas but you could you know have a glass of wine and giggle and be funny and fill your cup and fill someone else's like the other day I was talking to this guy Austin who's on who was on this capital one trip with me and his he was telling me about his goals and what he really wants to achieve and he really wants to be like the next Ryan Seacrest and he's super talented and he's wonderful and I was like you should totally talked to Kelty. She's this amazingly accomplished host in this space. And he was like, Oh my God, would she be willing? That's so crazy. Like basically could not believe that he would

have the opportunity to talk to somebody like you. And that is, but that's so cool to know that you like, I connected him with you and I was like, tell her, you know, tell her what you want. And you offered so generously to like lead him in the right direction or connect him with whoever, but like, that's, you're not getting anything from that, but something like that is, will make you feel amazing. Yeah. You've done all this hard work and you've worked your ass off. And it's like, if you can't like get a little bit of an ego boost by helping somebody being that person to like lend a hand, like what's it all for? It's true. So stuff like that, where you kind of don't get anything in return, but really makes somebody's day.

And Victoria, Victoria was telling me about you today when I was doing her podcast. She was like, I don't like to text Kelty too often. Victoria Garrick, who's now like Uber famous and has her own podcast, TikTok, Instagram, whatever. She was an intern at CBS. And when we were starting the lady gang and she was working with Kelty and she said to me, I, I think that Kelty is the most unique person I've ever met in my life. She's not wrong. God. And so you're pretty sparkly and special and you need to share that with the world. Like you do at a lady hang, but but for no money other places that's what i'm saying i know i'm gonna get it together i like texted chris this morning i feel i said i feel hopeful about today and then and then i

wrote him later and was like i'm wrong i'm not hopeful anymore god i'm such a wet rag anyway i'll get it together thank you for the pep talk sorry you're having no you know what though i'm having the smads and i will say that fall music like you know how you're like i can't listen to music because it makes me too emotional the amount of like epic sad in the fall songs everything taylor swift matt nathanson has a song called farewell december counting crows along december i was just driving and the hazy b side from counting crows came on and i was just like like yeah the fall is fucking sad and i have a whole idea about the holiday season like i think the holiday season thanksgiving hanukkah christmas new year's is literally created as a distraction

so that we don't sit in our houses and be sad all the time because imagine being on the other the other hemisphere of the world where their winter has nothing in it yeah their winter dark Their winter is... There's no holidays to get you through it. At least we got those. I'm like, no. You know what? Thanksgiving, I got mashed potatoes.

Good. Christmas, I've got cookies and presents. New Year's, a champagne and a little tiny top hat. Like, there's enough to keep me going here and, like, spinning off the wheel. But it's like, the fall is really sad. Like, I am deeply affected by the end of the year. I'm always deeply affected by my birthday.

I'm just... affected by this i have seasonal seasonal depression no but i live in california i'm looking at blue sky and a palm tree like yeah but still i mean that's that's only like one component to that i think you should over pack for new york take a lot of like your favorite things wear your tacky vegas jacket that you try to sneak into every event and we tell you no bring that bitch out yeah wear a bow in your hair wear all the things that make you happy do all the things that make you happy eat all the things that make you happy go to new york and like just leave your bujo at home indulge have a little like indulging trip because that's like i think

exactly what you need and think about the kelty night that used to live in new york in your 20s if you told her what you would be doing at this point in your life and what everything that you would have accomplished and there's be three Emmys behind your head, you would be like, well, if I'm going to go back to New York, I'm going to go back and I'm going to be the happiest person you've ever seen because I'm, I'm not breaking my ass to buy avocados and Diet Coke anymore. No, it's true. It's true. Like I, well, first of all, I can never believe how expensive Broadway show tickets are. It's insane. Every time, every time I forget, I'm always like, well, no, it's okay. If I go see three shows in a week, it'd be like $300. I'm like, yeah, right. Per seat.

And like, I, it was crazy. Like I went to go buy my tickets and I was like, well, I'll go buy to one ticket. That's also, I'm not bringing Chris because I'm like, he's not really going to enjoy it. He's going to be waiting for it to be over. And I'm like, your, your non-enjoyment of Mulan Rouge on Broadway is not worth $250 to me. No, it's going to bring your energy down. No, I'm like, I'm just going to go, but it's like, it is so expensive, but it's like, I remember being in New York city. And I could never go to shows unless I had a friend that had like an, a preview ticket because, or I went in the rent lottery where tickets were $20 and you had to stand outside all day because it was like, nobody had an extra $200 to go see a Broadway show. Like, are you kidding

me? Like, and I'm going to go back and I'm going to see the Rockettes. I bought second row tickets stage. So my girlfriend, Nicole is sixth in from stage left. And I bought the seat directly in front of her kick line position. That's cute. That's such a great thing to do. And I'm going to with her the whole show, I'm going to bring glasses and noses and I'm going to put cheeks on when it's like time for the soldiers. So when they come out, I'm going to have my cheeks. Like I wanted to buy one of those like light up signs that they have on, um, like those little, like a Mexican food carts in the city where it's like telling you like what's on the menu and I want to like put messages like Christmas and stuff like that. But I think it'll, I'll probably get

like in trouble for that so i'm just gonna do stupid shit but yeah no i have a i have a trip of happiness planned i love it i think i think it'll make a big difference yeah and the smads are okay to have sometimes sometimes you got to be smad i guess you do anyway thanks for talking me through that sorry i'm sure this cheered you all up so much i'm obsessed i'm betty what's it betty peggy anyway okay well have a good week everyone do you guys want to talk at all or no no i'm sorry for telling you what to do though i think she was looking for advice or how would this be a two-way podcast if not no i was looking for advice because i've been in i've been in this for now it's it's going on almost four weeks and um i'm like i just

can't get out of this. Like, I feel like I'm constantly on the verge of tears. So it's not a hormonal thing. Like it's not a right. And it's not even that like stressful thing. Like I'm, I'm not under these like huge amounts of stress. Like I have stress in my life. Sure. But like I'm sleeping, I'm eating, like I'm doing. So it's just, it's just real. It's like a real smads. Yeah. And I can't blame on it. Unexplainable smads. That's what we're calling this episode. That is a bummer. Cause usually it's so much easier when you know what's causing it. Yeah. We can have something to focus on. Like I'm mad at shit just because I want to be mad at shit or things annoying me or sounds are annoying. Like I'm just so sensitive. I'm so

like, like I just, you know, like I got my one last thing. So Chris is like very conserving on water and never wants to water a lawn. And he went to New York for the month and I was like, you, and I literally put that, I put, okay. Normally our lawn gets watered three times a week for five minutes i put the fucking water on for 20 minutes every single day at 7 a.m all of november i am over watering my lawn i want it to be tall and green i want all my plants to you're gonna end up killing all of you i'm sure i'm sure but i was like i'm just so mad about the fucking like i drive electric car of solar panels let me put the water on my goddamn plants so anyway this is the like unnecessary angries right there just i get it do something that brings you

joy yeah i know i think i'm gonna have a klondike bar after this i did have a klondike last night and i watched um real housewives of salt lake city which is getting so good oh my god jen shaw just got arrested did you see the meme that wasn't going around where it said mentally i'm in the parking a lot of beauty lab yes oh jack i need you to watch i need you to also you would love it you would love it i watched the first season most of this first season was not good this second season they really leaning into their characters yeah okay i'll watch it anyway see you next tuesday thanks for listening the lady gang is produced by alex ingber steve delameter and jared monaco make sure you subscribe rate and review our podcast and if you love it share it with your

friends on social media like oh my god i just listened lady gang this episode's so great swipe up to listen and if you really want to which we know you do please follow us on social at kelty at becca at jack vanek and at the lady gang sign up for our newsletter at the lady gang.com and join our secret facebook group it's super fun see you next tuesday this quote is brought to you by things becca found later after this entire conversation of the Smads. And this wonderful woman, Shelly Tagelsky, her Instagram as of late said, as a movement, self-care is not about realizing our own in the moment happiness. Rather, it's seeing that our self-care impacts the lives of those around us in innumerable positive ways.

Self-care reaches beyond the individual to impact communities, neighborhoods, our nation, and ultimately the world. So it's like giving your self-care a deeper purpose. I'm into this. You're welcome, world.