LadyGang - THRIVING UNDER THE INFLUENCE

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Starting point is 00:00:53 but only with the code RESET at factormeals.ca. Factor, Canada's number one meal delivery service. Well, what is this? Welcome to the Lady Gang. That's amazing. Say that again. The Lady Gang. Things are about to change around here. Each week, we catch up with Hollywood's hottest girl posse,

Starting point is 00:01:13 Kelty Knight, Becca Tobin, and Jack Vanek. Hello, hello, hello. Welcome to the Lady Gang. I am Becca Tobin here with Jack Vanek and Kelty Knight. Hello. Oh, my God. um i'm so excited to see you guys and i'm here with a well we have to do our good week bad weeks you know but i wanted to tell you that something huge has happened in the fashion world and since this isn't allegedly what's happening i just want to bring it off the top i have the article speaking of fashion um your sweater looks brand new there's the creases in the arms that it's brand

Starting point is 00:01:50 new did you break your resolution this is not brand new I've worn it many times does it have a crease yeah they have the lines like it was just folded in the warehouse was it um dry cleaned it might no do you like how I have literally called you out four times this year on your resolution of not buying anything new but she says I don't really believe I know because I like don't believe she's not doing this is from theory um it's a Marshall it's a Marshall's purchase last year um I've worn it a bunch of times I have not had it dry cleaned so I think it probably just was so smooshed at the Marshalls till I dug through and found it that because there's not one on this side yeah there is oh maybe it's just because I hang my sweaters so

Starting point is 00:02:32 maybe that's why wow I don't know well anyway also these are American Eagle jeans that I got at Marshalls for nine dollars and they're like one of my favorite pair of jeans I've ever worn I don't have the patience to do denim at Marshall's. You should. Really? Well, also online they have online. I love the online. The online has good denim.

Starting point is 00:02:52 I just sold off my body three, like from wearing it on my body, three girls at a dinner table all bought a leather jacket from Marshall's that I was wearing. Oh. Cause you know, they have the bod and Christensen brand that's a hundred percent real leather. Yeah. And I was wearing like this oversized leather jacket and they all thought it was like something super expensive and they all and it was like a hundred dollars i know you got affiliate code not an ad not an ad hot hot hot drama okay can be here's what's happening here do we need a good

Starting point is 00:03:21 bad we do but before we do that i have a hot news that i just want to like isn't that the point of allegedly what's happening hot news versus allegedly what's happening okay i'll say do you want me to say oh no i'll tease it something oh my god big is happening in fashion it's time for okay geez oh my god okay i can't wait you're right you're right all right it's time for good week yes it is bad week oh no um i'm gonna kick it off because i can't hold this secret any longer oh my god you got a job no if you do this if you do that one more time it's literally like it's like a pregnant it's like a woman trying to get pregnant and she's like i have to tell you something you're pregnant and she's like actually no I miscarried twice last year you're right you

Starting point is 00:04:09 know what you gotta stop I gotta take it back you gotta stop okay so my good week is I have a niece who's 16 it's Zach's sister's daughter and her name's Lulu and she's just cutest name the cutest they have their family just has really good sense of humor like every single one of them just somehow popped out with a great sense of humor and my sister-in-law is one of the funniest people that I have ever met. So her daughter's naturally very funny. And Krista, my sister-in-law called me one day and she was like, you're just never going to believe what Lulu said to me today. And I was like, well, tell me, I need to know. She goes, well, I was talking about after I've had like a couple of glasses of wine, you know, that I could get a little tipsy, like something they were

Starting point is 00:04:51 having a conversation about drinking and like with a 16 year old, it's like such a weird thing to discuss. Yeah. And, um, and then they talked about like drinking and driving and how that is just like, you know, obviously a real no, black and white, whatever. And Lulu looked at her and she goes, you know what, mom, you don't drive under the influence, but you certainly thrive under the influence. That's a crazy thing to say to your mom, like to compliment a mom at 16 years old yeah it is it's huge I never would have said anything nice to my mom at 16 but you're thriving and she's like I'm someone's gonna pull you over for a tui thriving under the influence and I'm like she's so funny anyway I gotta write that down thriving you know that reminds me a lot of

Starting point is 00:05:40 of uh DTF Kelty's down to fun yes down to fun it's kind of like the same vein I forgot about healthy's DTF she's always DTF which is funny because she's never actually I'm literally like no fun I like it you know now it's the end of January W down to work I'm like how's the how's the how's my work-life balance been and I was like I've done one thing for fun in the last 30 days one fun what was it I had dinner with Sharon get all right she got she's obsessed with us were you thriving under the influence at dinner with Sharon thriving under the influence here's what's crazy I'll just say this like sorry to interrupt your good week bad week she was like you guys really I'm she said something really nice like being on your show like really changed

Starting point is 00:06:24 like it snowballed into like a bunch of offers oh really I was like wait what I was like you're Sharon Stone and she was like no like I said it's funny because I had a couple people reach out to me and after you came on our show you were you did CBS mornings or whatever I said it was like a Sharonissance like that we started something and I was like we didn't start it you're Sharon stone. And she was like, I know, but you kind of started it again. And I was like, Oh, she's been offered a couple movies. And I was like, I think when you're really honest and authentic, people are like drawn to that, drawn to that. So anyway, we did have a couple of clips go viral. You know, when she was sitting there talking to us, I was thinking to myself, surely she's never had these

Starting point is 00:07:03 conversations in public or, or hasn't often, or hasn't in big audiences. Cause I was thinking hearing that if I were a producer, a writer, a director, anybody, I'm like, I would instantly be like, Sharon, you're not blacklisted from Hollywood. Like let's go, let's do this. And I did think, I didn't want to flatter us at all, but I'm, I did think, I hope that there are enough people paying attention to this conversation right now for them to then turn around and give her all the work she deserves. So I, I actually love hearing that. Cause I was sad thinking if she's going around town, having this conversation and still nobody's calling. Yeah. How is nobody's like jaws on the floor, right? It's kind of like what's been happening to me for seven years. I've

Starting point is 00:07:49 been talking about how badly I want a job and the millions of people, no one is, I thought maybe Sharon and I were the same in that way. It turns out it's, it's fresh for her. Not so fresh for me. so I want to give you one celebrity secret so after I was she wasn't drinking I was I was thriving under the influence and then I have made a rule for 2024 I think I discussed on the podcast I'm not driving uh if I don't need to anymore yes stresses me out I'll drive to work but like even to dinner it's 15 minutes away I ubered and I was gonna uber home yeah and I mean I'm ubered uber xing like I'm not gonna like you know I don't care um anyway so I was like oh I'm gonna call an uber she's like I'll drive you home and I was like oh really like I'm just up the street and she was

Starting point is 00:08:30 like sure got in the black and bentley oh my god and i was like god damn you are sharon stone of course she has a black but here's the thing it was the best smelling car she had we got to figure out what it is she had a dip teak she said it's because of that but it was dark and i didn't want to be like too basic like what flavor is it can i amazon shop let me add it to my car but it was like a dip teak and it was stuck in the vent yeah oh i've seen that okay oh okay dip teak there's only so many flavors let me just get to the bottom of it i also just want to say just to be the downer having fragrance like that so it's not good for you to be doing that i know no it's endocrine disruptive yes i know that's why i'm like not and also that only works in a car like hers you can't

Starting point is 00:09:13 have that in like my jeep it's not gonna go it's between the old mcdonald's mixed messages yeah it's like your 2012 jeep like the diptyque like a bougie scent lipstick on a pig is what we call that yeah it's like oh it smells so good in here and you can't hardly smell the hash browns from mcdonald's fallen underneath my seat that's your car that's your car decomposing i don't have food in my car sorry okay so my bad week this is the secret i couldn't hold any longer i have a history of hemorrhoids we knew that we know this okay i they've never been aggressive yeah they've been a nuisance you know yeah are they the in or out well or both they live inside and from what i understand about hemorrhoids is it's kind of like they just like

Starting point is 00:10:04 dormant inside and then when they flare up then they get larger and then they like peek their little head outside outside they've never been extremely external yeah you know like it's usually the thing where it's like mostly inside and any, if you will. Um, I love you. And so I just thought, you know, this is my cross to bear. I'm going to be somebody who has him. I'm a hemorrhoid person, you know, and it's, there's gotta be a pharmaceutical drug that is looking for a spokesperson. Wait till they get a load of this. Okay. Here's the audition. Roll the tape. And I And I swear to God, this is a message to Amy who runs our Instagram. If this gets cut into a clip that lives on Instagram and you collaborate with me, I will fire you personally.

Starting point is 00:11:00 No, but we need it cut for you to send to when the company reaches out to you internally. This is a show only story. This can't live on the internet. This is for the people who listen on the pod. Yes. what happens in the feed stays in the feed podcast feed okay yes I'm wondering if I should even hold my phone my hand up to the lens of this camera we won't do it we're good don't do me dirty like that okay so I I a couple days ago started feeling the rumblings of hemorrhoid hemorrhoid

Starting point is 00:11:34 and I'm like god do they come in a what does it feel like many at a time no it's like a little it's like a tiny little bead. Like, you know, those water beads that kids play with kind of like that under the skin. It's just really uncomfortable. Right. And there's like a soreness associated. And I was like, of course it's coming. Um, and I really don't like pussy foot around it anymore. I just live my life. You know, I'm like, okay, it's going to come. It's going to go like, can't get you down. Can't get me down. Well, that is until it just started to progressively get more painful and more painful and more painful and I I don't like to look under the hood of oh no no anything no certainly not my butthole how do you even look under the hood

Starting point is 00:12:19 of the butthole you know how to look well I guess you got to really lean back no you just stand in your like this with a mirror did you think that was my fault I was thinking about a mirror in front of you oh oh okay like a look at this you don't have a you don't have a vajmir i have one that's a triangle it must have been a lady gang sponsor that sent it to us it's shaped like a vagina it's literally for your vagina and you can check it out because i haven't even heard of that you can just sit there and it bends you can just really look at her yeah i don't think you don't have that i need to go might have amnesia i don't know it's probably you do get rid of a lot of things that's true i don't have the room you probably didn't

Starting point is 00:12:58 you didn't see its value your vashmere until now you wish you had that vashmere just for a little while i wish i didn't have it because i was like you know what as i'm applying my like cream i'm just feeling that there's it's just a little bigger than i'd like for it to be and there's more friends along that came along with it this time it's like starting to really take some liberties it's a party it's a party yeah and so i go and i take my vashmere mirror you guys it is jet black what what is it supposed to be what's called is a thombrose thombrose hemorrhoid i'm gonna get my it's like thombrose is a word of something else what does that mean i don't know look it up thombrose hemorrhoid

Starting point is 00:13:52 oh no it is eat your hearts out oh oh no thombrose occurs when blood clots block your blood vessels honey that must be so painful i can't even it won't even show me in it does it you get it there's it won't even show me safe search is blurb safe search blurring click a blurred picture oh you have a safe search thing on your no it just is no these are they won't even show it's that bad it won't even show you okay maybe no one's photographed them when I tell you like I almost couldn't care for my own child like I I tried to describe the pain to my friend Megan and I said it feels like what it would feel like to try to smuggle a shank a prison shank in your butthole it feels like a million little

Starting point is 00:14:46 knives and the worst part is I had to call the doctor the doctor and I had to tell multiple people that you have a black that I have a black hemorrhoid that is very painful one office I called I had to go through the whole process of being like I tried to kind of keep that close to the vest yeah I have a medical problem I was like I need to come see the doctor I need to they're always gonna ask you why what's the reason yeah and I was like how big and she literally goes the one office she goes oh you know what we don't deal with hemorrhoids in this office I'm gonna have to like so loud at least it wasn't in person thank god thank god but then but then I finally you know I called my doctor I called all these people and trying to just get in to see right someone

Starting point is 00:15:36 to help my anus. And finally they're like, I call this one practice and I look to check the providers to make sure there are some female doctors, you know, just some. And I call and I'm like, Hey, when's your next available? And she said, okay, February 1st. And I was like, is that with a female? She goes, Oh no, no, no. If you want a female, it's going to be at least march no so i had to go search this doctor's name look at his face try to hope and pray that he's not sexually attracted a homosexual man so that there's absolutely but i'm sure he's not right and i i can't get in i literally still have not gotten in i just put a suppository up my butt in your bathroom and it didn't feel great i was gonna say is there anything else

Starting point is 00:16:25 So then cream? Do you want an ice pack? I did Epsom salt, which you're supposed to do in the bath. I did the lidocaine spray that'll numb you, but that works for five seconds. And in this whole entire time, listen, I love doctors. I think what they do is amazing. I could never be one. I really respect the field more than most.

Starting point is 00:16:50 but the fact that like when it comes to your like your butthole and your private parts like yes for a sore throat i can pop into an urgent care where can i just pop in for a hemorrhoid not go to my really good urgent care girl down the street what is she gonna do for me i want someone to surgically remove like so that i never have to deal with this again yeah and i'm afraid that if it goes away then they won't be able to see it can't do it and then they're gonna be like we can do it but we can remove it surgically hopefully with propofol i'm hoping please god i am giving me the good stuff the silver lining in this is that i get to take a nap while they probe my asshole yeah in a in a propofol nap like a real surgery so there's many different like ways you

Starting point is 00:17:34 can do it there's one that's called a hemorrhoid gun and it kind of like jesus exactly and there's like a procedure where they kind of what is she so is she upset about the hemorrhoids she's upset about your hemorrhoids no because she's had one she knows come here what is she go get her go get her um they do this thing where it's essentially they do really tight rubber band around it and just cut off the circulation i've heard of that but i i i was so desperate that i almost did it yourself no no no Oh, I almost went on Instagram and was like, can anyone see me today? And then I got a call on the airplane this morning as I was boarding to fly here that

Starting point is 00:18:29 the doctor for February 1st has a cancellation tomorrow. Good. Okay. I'm still in the dude. I'm still in Los Angeles. Oh yeah. So, um, I stay tuned. um i wait what are the other things to get rid of it there's like an actual surgery like where

Starting point is 00:18:48 they go in and like cut it out i i think but the reason that i get hemorrhoids and this is what's so strange to me and i hope we have a proctologist who listens do we a lady gang procti okay so if i don't wear thongs yeah i get hemorrhoids i was wondering i was gonna ask you about your keep the pressure I need the pressure of my butt hole you need to I need it so I'm like but then but here's a little sling but here's the problem it is a sling it is a sling it's like men's balls I considered I'm like do I need to walk around with a butt plug like because here's the other thing thongs as I'm getting older the skin around my butt crack and my butt hole it's hurt yeah so I was like you know what I'm gonna do the right thing right now even though if you'd asked me

Starting point is 00:19:35 three months ago if I would ever spend a day with the sun out a daytime in a granny panty I would have been like there's no way but in the last three months I have been like you know what accept it you're getting older your butt crack needs a break you're gonna wear granny panties for the next however long and I finally started getting used to wearing the granny panties you're embracing the panty line and embracing it and then you got the and then I got the wait but do you wear a thong with the hemorrhoids loose and out and about the thong now well now i can't wear it only to prevent it's preventative skims not have like a hemorrhoid line they should we've got a nursing bra can we get like a i just think have you looked up hemorrhoid underwear uh no however

Starting point is 00:20:24 it might exist i just think that i might have something wrong with me and i'm mad at prenuvo that they weren't able to see that i have no muscles to keep my sphincter in unless i'm

LadyGang - THRIVING UNDER THE INFLUENCE

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