LadyGang - Trista Sutter

Episode Date: November 10, 2020

The first ever Bachelorette, Trista Sutter, joins the ladies to discuss having one of the only successful marriages in Bachelor history, what she would have changed about her wedding day look, how the producers created characters and storylines during the party and her brand new podcast “Better, etc." Check out our amazing sponsors! Ritual: Get 10% off during your first three months at ritual.com/LADYGANG  NetSuite: Schedule your FREE Product Tour RIGHT NOW at NetSuite.com/lady  Coors Light: Get Coors Light in the new look delivered straight to your door at Get.CoorsLight.com  Martha Stewart: Find your Inner Martha with Martha Stewart's new line of CBD from Canopy Growth. Head to LadyGang.MarthaStewartCBD.com and use the discount code LADY15 for 15% off! Sonshine Bath: Get 15% off your order at sonshinebath.com - use the discount code LADYGANGSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Welcome to the Lady Gang. That's amazing. Say that again. The Lady Gang. Things are about to change around here. Each week, we catch up with Hollywood's hottest girl posse, Kelty Knight, Becca Tobin, and Jack Vanek. Hello, hello, hello.

Welcome to the Lady Gang. I am Becca Tobin here with Jack Vanek and Kelty Knight. Kelty just flashed us her nipple. You didn't see it. It was out of frame. It was. it was. She's back in her green jumpsuit. For those of you who are familiar, last year it haunted our every move and here it is. It's back again. She wore it every day. I wore it when I was

doing work on the house. So now it has like some paint. So it's like extra jumpsuit-y. It's like a painter's jumpsuit. A working woman's jumpsuit. I literally, ever since we made our own jumpsuit with Express, which what came out in June and I had the sample in like April or May, I guess, I haven't, I felt like I was cheating on the jumpsuit. If I wore a Diff Zara jumpsuit, I was like, no, but our jumpsuit is the best jumpsuit. Yeah. Well, it's back. It's back.

There she is. Just remember to watch it this time, Kelty. I'll try. God. Maybe once a week. Well, on that note, it's time for... Good week. Yes, it is.

Bad week. Oh, no. I'll start this week. Ooh, yay. I, so I'm still very new to my Canada digs, you know. P.S. Did you see people, hold on, I just need to think. What? Oh God. Okay. So in the Facebook group every week, I post our episodes, right? And the quickie episodes so

that everyone sees it. And then I post all the advertisers so that girls like who might be listening, you know, they can use the advertiser or maybe they don't even listen to the podcast anymore and they still want to use the advertiser, like live your life. Anyway, so Becca, we did like the quickie and it was like, Becca's a Canadian, whatever. And people were like, I sure hope she's not on vacation. You're not allowed to go on vacation during quarantine. I was like, y'all. Also, you can't even get into Canada on vacation. Before you judge me, try how to love me. She's working, but we haven't really talked about it yet, which we're going to wait until you're like on set and fully filming before we really talk about it. We don't want to jinx anything, but

she's working. Calm down. Okay. Go ahead. Yeah. I actually got a few of those like DMs when I posted that I went and I voted like on my, our way out of town, we went and dropped off our ballots. And I was like, before we head off to Canada and everyone's like, how are you planning on getting across the border? And I'm like, okay, I haven't thought this through yet. I'm a 34 year old woman who is like, I mean, yes, I'm a disaster in some areas of my life, but like I wouldn't, I also married to like one of the most capable people on the planet. Like the two of us just packing up our car with no plans on how to get across the Canadian border during a pandemic. Give me more credit than that, people. The best thing is though, you know there

have been people that have tried to do that. Of course. That get totally once they get up there and then that's amazing. Google. I'm Canadian and I didn't even know you could take your husband across the border. You know more about border crossings than the actual Canadian. It's true. It's true. So anyways, that's where we're at. Oh, so anyways, my good week. My apartment in Vancouver has magic toilets. What is that? Yep. They're heated. Guys, I understand like I now get it. First of all, heated floors, they also have, which it hasn't been super cold yet. And I haven't had to wake up at like 5am to be on set yet, but I know when that time comes, the heated floor is going to be really magical. But the heated seat in the middle of the night when you wake up and

you have to go pee and you're so groggy, normally you hit that porcelain and it sends a chill up your spine. This is like, I'm being hugged. I just sit down and I'm being hugged. Is it constantly heated? How does it know you're going to wake up in the middle of the night to plop on it. It's constantly warm. It's so good. That's beautiful. So good. Yeah. I was going to say like Canada is cold and they figured out some really good like warm things. Like my dad's like main business growing up was like installing car starters where you could like be inside your warm house and like start your car and run it for 20 minutes. Not great for the environment, but like to warm it up or like a heated steering wheel. Like they have figured out how to live in the

called, which I appreciate. They really have. It's so good. Okay. So yes. Um, my bad week is when we were in quarantine, I think when this airs, we'll have come out already. You're just like just out. Um, I, there's no, there's a gym in the building, but you can't use it until you've done your quarantine. And, um, there's a rooftop here at our, at our apartment, but there's like, it's smaller. So I was like, I really want to try to be able to like get my steps in, if you will. Like I would go on the longest walks ever in LA to like listen to a podcast or just like get my thoughts together or whatever, reset. I was like, I need some way to like work, do some walking or whatever. So I went on Amazon and I was like, holy shit, I found a treadmill,

like a portable treadmill. It's so small for like $180. I was like, yes, this is amazing. So I ordered the treadmill and I'm like bragging about it to my sister and to Zach because Zach thinks I'm a moron with this treadmill thing. And he's like, it's going to be shitty. It's going to be a shitty treadmill if it's $180. Why would you think that? I'm like, just you wait. It's not. My sister's like, it's going to be rickety as hell. Yeah. You're going to break your nose. The treadmill arrives. It's self-propelling. It doesn't even plug in. Wait. So you have to like make it move? Yes. It's like a hamster wheel. Like it's an actual, like it's up on an, in like a minor

incline so that like the natural, um, gravity or whatever velocity. I don't even, who am I? Anyways, it is self-propelling and it sucks. Can you return it? Did it have reviews? Did you like look at reviews? Because I'm like, who are the people writing reviews? They complain about everything like look at our podcast reviews that is true touche i don't trust a review ever since we've had a podcast don't trust a review i trust reviews on amazon though if there's like a shit ton of reviews then you yeah i mean i don't trust a review either but i do trust that a normal treadmill is like six thousand dollars so when you buy it's wishful thinking becca was desperate for a step desperate for a step that's funny we need we need to get you a mini trampoline and you

can just bounce all day. No, I can't jump like that. Those hurt. Have you guys been to a trampoline park in your adult life? They hurt. Like it looks fun until you get there and then you break your back the second jump because you're old. Yeah. It's hard. It's hard. Anyways, that was my bad week. What a bummer. But at least now I can use the gym in the, in the building. I'm going to go next. Okay. So my good week is a discovery. You guys know that I love smooth move tea. It's the only thing that really gets me going sometimes when I'm constipated, but smooth move tea tastes like shit. And then also when I drink it at night, I have very small bladder. So then I have to wake up even more times to pee like 10 times during the night. I discovered last night that they make

smooth move capsules. Oh, yep. Same shit that's in the tea, but you just take two pills before bed and then you're pooping in the morning again. Wow. It was the best discovery I've, I've made in so long. I just ordered some. It's so much easier. The tea is disgusting. Yeah. The tea is pretty gross. Yeah. But I'm so excited. Do you take them a lot? No, I'll take them if I haven't gone in a few days. Yeah. I just can't do the smooth move unless I'm literally at my house the whole next day. Yeah. But Becca, what I discovered with you when we were getting colonics is that you don't have a shitting problem. No, no. You have a gas problem. I have a gas problem. This capsule is not for you. Well, yeah, I guess for constipated bitches like me. Yeah. But you do need, like,

I was going to drink some tea last night, but we're podcasting all morning and I'm like, this is not, this is not the day for me to do it. I'll do it tomorrow. So anyways, that was a great discovery. My bad week is so obviously during quarantine, Jared and I are spending a lot of time together. Like we're basically doing everything together because he's like one of the only people that I see. So go get food. It's always together. So over the last couple months, I, I mean, I've always known that I'm not productive when I'm at home. Like I I'm way more productive if I'm at a cafe working or I'm just not home. Cause I get like sleepy and I get distracted at home. So I've started to go to this cafe to do work. It's the cafe that I saw the guy

sneezing and is stop talking about this. It's actually like really upsetting that this is the third week that this has come up about the guy sneezing and licking. I'm just, I'm just reminding you of the cafe. It actually is so, it's so like traumatic every time you bring this up, just letting you know, just to let you remind you to get a visual of this cafe. So anyways, it's the only place I go to because it's like the only place that I know that the tables are socially distant, whatever. So I've been going there alone to work because Jared works better in our apartment. So there's been this thing that's happening that every time I leave the apartment and go somewhere myself, this happened four times at this cafe. I've run into guys that

I have dated or guys that I have slept with four times. And I haven't gone there alone that many times. And I go there with Jared, but the times I'm with Jared, I don't see anybody. But then say Jared leaves 10 minutes later, there goes the last guy. It is weird. I think I know what's happening. What? Guys are always there. They're always around. But when Jared's with you, you're not trolling men. You're not like checking around to see who's around. Distracted by Jerry. You're looking at Jerry. You're not like, oh, that guy's over six feet tall. Is he hot? Like you're just basically. Have I dated him? Yeah. Like they're probably, guys are crawling all over the west side of Los Angeles that you've dated. That's true. Especially in a cafe in the middle of the

day that's like very much your day past dating vibe like no job I've gone I yeah and I've gone on so many dates at this cafe it's just like the place that I would go I guess you're basically in your womb me I don't know maybe maybe I just don't notice them when he's around but it is weird I mean it's not that weird because the because the west side's very it's like small town vibes like the same people troll around all the time. And you're right. None of these people have jobs. So they're definitely like going around during the day, but it's happened. And then two out of the four of the guys can talk to me. And I'm like, I don't want to talk to people, especially not during a pandemic, especially because you're still single and probably dating

and like smooching all these people that I don't want your germs, but it's been a whole thing, but I'm not, I'm not really mad at it. Cause it's kind of exciting. I never run into exes. You'd be like, it's so funny to see you here. Have you been down Coenga and Selma in Hollywood? You might've seen me on my billboard. Look at me now, bitches. Look what you missed out on.

My good week is that we have a billboard in Hollywood. I'm just going to say, you know what? We didn't get to fly to New York to see our express billboard in Times Square and no one saw that billboard. So it is exciting that we have a billboard here. I think it's really cute that it was a big surprise and that the girls were in on it. And yesterday my neighbor Bart was like outside and I was taking

out the trash and he's like, Hey, I saw your billboard. Congratulations. And like, for the people that don't know, no, no, that it was purchased. Um, it's kind of exciting. He's like, wow, that's so great. Congratulations. I was driving. And then I was like, is that Kelty? And then I'm like naked in a tub. Yes, it was. Absolutely. Uh, anyway, isn't it up that I'll never see that billboard either. I know. Oh God, there's two billboards you won't see. It really, it went up like the day after Becca left. Literally the day after. I saw it. It was, you probably would have had the same reaction as me. Yeah. It's exciting. It's very, very beautiful at night because at night everything is dark and it's lit up and it's white and it's very striking.

Okay. Bad week. So you guys know that I have been working on a backyard project, fixer upper season three. Um, and I decided, so I knew I wanted to build this bench in the backyard and I got a quote for it and it was like $8,000. And I was like, no, I can build that. So my friend Joe, which Becca has talked about was over and for three different days. And he helped me build this whole like concrete bench. And we had his tools and we like, I mean, it's been so difficult, like the platforms from home Depot, like getting delivered the hauling of the cement, like it has been high pressure. So I got as far as I can. And I realized like, well, I'm not a Mason. I can't do the cement myself. Maybe I'll hire someone to like do the finish on it so that it's like super

beautiful on the top. And I was like, let me just get a quote. So I go on Yelp and I find someone who's like a Mason and I get a quote and I send the dimensions. The bench is so small. You guys, it's this total square footage, probably the size of a mini Cooper. Like it's small. And this dude comes back to me and he's like, yeah, I can do it for $6,500. Excuse me. This is supposed to be, I was expecting about $500, like, which already would have been like, whoa, this is crazy. Like I was supposed to do this project myself and now I'm going to pay someone $500 to finish it. Like I'm so mad at myself. So I was like, well, I can't afford $6,500 concrete right now. So no, thanks. Thanks. But no thanks. So I was like, can I do it myself? No. And then I like called the guy

that did my deck. And I was like, can you just put some wood boards on top of it? Like, let's just be done. And he's like, I don't know. Like now that you have the concrete there, you can, anyway, it's a fucking disaster. Now I'm going to spend all of winter with this concrete blocks in my backyard unfinished. I don't know what to do. What did Leanne Ford tell you to do? I haven't written her because you've been shaming me about our friendship. Well, it's not really a friendship. Like you met, you met once. And you probably harass her on Instagram.

it's true anyway yeah so hey kelty jared could come over and do it for you don't don't offer that oh yeah no actually kelty if you want you can take a video of it and zach might be able to like look at it and tell you what you could do thank you yeah send it to the guys send it to the dudes that's right the real dudes i don't want you to be stuck over there don't send him over there you should have seen you should have seen like i know i know how it starts honest anyway okay when we don't he's like here i'll pay you with a lacroix rude we're excited about our guest today very excited she's the only bachelorette i even know who she is now back to the lady gang our guest today is the og bachelorette who married the

hot pink firefighter that i haven't stopped thinking about since that episode we all wanted to be her, and I still do. 26 million people watched her get married to Hottie Ryan, I said it again, who PS, according to Instagram, they both, Trista and Ryan, have six packs. Well, we also have something amazing in common. We're both NBA dancers, her for the Miami Heat, which by the way, every year is voted the hottest dance team in the NBA, the Knicks we always lost. She's also been on Dancing with the Stars, Marriage Bootcamp. She's an author and she's a brand new podcast called Better Etc. And most importantly, she's a mama bear to two tweens, which is so crazy. Blakeslee and Maxwell, please welcome to the podcast, Trista O.G. Sutter.

Woo. Thanks for having me. I'm so excited. Long time coming. Can I just say, you were the last season, first and last season I ever watched, and you look exactly the same. It's annoying. I really do. How? Thank you, Botox. Thank you, Botox. Honestly. And Ryan. Well, a hot husband with six pack abs because mind you, I do not, I don't know where you read that, but the abs that I have, I have been long gone for a long time. Well, there's a lot of pictures of you on the internet of you like in a bikini. And I don't know if it was like you, you saved up and went bikini for like these photos or if like this, you just hang out in a bikini with Ryan all the time, but like, it's amazing either way. Like, congratulations to you.

There's two babies have come out of there. Like, yeah. Thank you. All right. So let's talk about Ryan. Um, happy to Kelsey's favorite topic. Well, I just, here's the thing is that now the bachelorette is ruined because there's not a guy like Ryan that's coming on the bachelorette anymore. Like pure, clean, hot soul. He's just like salt of the earth. He is. That's, I mean, that's why I fell in love with him. He, he truly is. He's the most humble, genuine person out there. And that's what I was attracted to. And that's what I'm still attracted to. Like he, he honestly, I, I hate to say this Kelty, but he gets better every year. Like he, he's freaking cooking for me and the family cooking. He cooks every night that he's not working. Like, I don't,

I don't know how I got so lucky. Jeez. Well, no, he got lucky too. Cause you're very hot and lovely. You're the sweetest. Thank you. Do you feel like a little bit of pride that y'all have made it? And like so many people go on Good Morning America after the finale batch and they're like, this is my forever person. Then like three months later, we're like, oh, it's over. And like, we're just like, yeah, but Tristan Ryan made it. That's true. We're always used as that, which is great. But yes, of course I feel pride. I mean, we're about to celebrate our 17th wedding anniversary. And I would be thankful even if we hadn't met on a reality show. I feel like 17 years is something to be proud of. So yeah, for sure. Majorly. Now I want to go back to the televised

wedding. Was that stressful? Because now whenever anyone makes it far enough to get a televised wedding, which they do not give out anymore. No, they don't. No. I always say take the money or take the wedding, like go, and then you can always do your own thing later. Like just go do it. But yeah. Was it so stressful? Cause I remember it being like a week of Trista and Ryan weddings. Was it like a whole special week? It was, it was a three part special. They actually did. So it was like the leading up to the planning with Mindy Weiss and, and then, um, oh, the bachelor and the bachelorette parties. And then of course the wedding and yeah, it was stressful. I mean, we, we fought a lot. Like if you know us, you know, that I am super outgoing and Ryan is total

opposite. So he's Mr. Introverted. He hates the cameras, even though he was on a freaking reality show. That's crazy. Um, so, so he was stressed and I take that stress on myself, um, with my kids or with Ryan, I, I worry about them. I'm kind of a mama bear, wife bear, whatever you want to call that. And so because he was stressed, I was stressed. And mind you, there's cameras everywhere. The really funny thing, I'm sure you guys would find this hysterical, is that Charlie, who was my runner up, ended up like being kind of like the host of our wedding. Wait, in what way? Okay. So they came to us and they said, do you want us to be in your face all day long? All day?

and we were like no of course not so they were like okay the only way we are going to allow you to not have us in your face all day long is to have charlie be like the and there mind you there was another girl there was a girl who was a producer at the time who ended up like coming and shadowing me for the day if you will um so they were like if you're if you don't want us around all day long, then you're going to have to have Charlie be like the, the commentator or the correspondent. Such a bachelor move. They're like, you found your happily ever after, but not, not yet. Totally. So he was, um, he was getting into hosting at the time and I think they just wanted to support his career at the same time as, you know, throwing a little wrench in and some drama

into my wedding. So yeah, that was a little awkward. Wow. I have so many questions about this because we love to talk about weddings and we hate weddings. Um, Becca hated her own wedding. I mean, I've had two weddings. I mean, I'm the Ryan. Yeah. Yeah. She's like, is it time to go home? I'm like, it's seven 30 girl get on the dance floor. Um, but I, I guess my question is, I have so many questions about now, because at the time you have Mindy Weiss, who's like the person that does the fancy expensive celebrity weddings you have all of america watching like 26 million people like you wish abc could get that rating at this point right oh my god but but you know you're still a bride and this is still your big day and you still make decisions

on that day and i think that our girl is she's planning her wedding and she feels like oh my god like you can't really picture the days after like you can't picture the next 17 years when you're planning a wedding. You're like, this is the day. This is all that matters. So I want to go back. I want to ask you about the bridal party. Now they were probably super stoked that they got to be on TV when they got to be in your bridal party. Are you still friends with everyone or who has been next? You don't have to say direct to people. Are you still friends with the bridal party? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So my maid of honor was my best friend in college, still super close. And then the rest of them were my best friend from high school who we talk like every couple of

weeks. My, my stepsister, who of course she's still my stepsister. And then yeah, two other girls who I went to grad school and went to college with. And we're still, we're still all super, I'm, I'm a very big girls girl. I love my girls and I'm super, super loyal. So if you're my friend, you're my friend forever. Unless of course I have to say, sorry, I should back up. So I'm a Scorpio. And if you wrong me, bye-bye. You're cut. Yeah. You're cut forever and forever. My Scorpio girlfriends are the most loyal people I've ever met in my entire life. That's me, for sure. You murdered someone, let's go bury the body. It's so true. Yeah. And was there anyone that you were like forced to invite? Because I know

the guest list, it was pretty big. And I'm sure there were a bunch of like TV, you had to like invite the person who like, you know, helped you do your hair and all that stuff. But like, was there anyone on the guest list, your personal guest list that you wish you hadn't invited, or, you know, would give advice to girls that are planning their wedding saying like, Hey, you don't have to invite your mom's best friends, best friend, you know? The only people that really, that was actually a really big fight for us was the guest list. I don't know about you, but that was our main fight was the guest list because we were super limited in the number. We wanted to have more. We took over a resort in Palm Springs, but because it

was a television thing, it was all the ABC execs. It was all the telepictures or Warner Horizon people. And so we were limited in the numbers. And my dad's remarried, so I kind of have a little extra family in there. The only people that really we had not a problem with because they had to be there were just the execs that, you know, it's like, I don't know you. I don't even know your last name. What a bummer. But honestly, it was great. Cause we did, there is no way in hell I would have ever been able to have the kind of wedding, even a fraction of the kind of wedding that I had on my own. I wanted to save my parents a shit ton of money and we got to take over an entire resort. So it was super fun. And you had this like amazing, like your whole story was such

a success story with the bachelor. Did you look at the seasons after you and then watch most of them crash and burn? And you're like, holy shit. Like, did you think that they were going to go the way that yours went? I did. I honestly still do. I'm kind of a hopeless romantic. And I, I feel like like with Caitlin and Sean and Ashley and JP just breaking up, like, yes, I, I am hopeless romantic. And I, I hope that everyone has a success story like Ryan and I, but obviously that's not going to happen for everybody. It's never strange to me when people go on the show and then they break up right away. It's like Nick and Vanessa. It's like by the time you go on EGMA, I was like, I knew that was coming. But it's like, yeah, I think the JP Ashley thing was very

surprising just because they were together so long. They have kids. It's just so shocking that you're like, wow, I thought you kind of made it past the breaking point. Yeah. That was a huge shocked me. We saw them just last year. So we had a bachelorette reunion. That was awesome. Oh my God. It was so fun. I hadn't met so many of the girls and just adore, honestly, all of them. I love all of them. Um, but we had this reunion and we were both in LA and, or actually it was for marriage bootcamp. Sorry. I think the reunion was two years ago, but marriage bootcamp, we had a little reunion and she was there with JP and the kids. We met the kids. We hung out like there was no indication. And, and we're, we're pretty close in terms of the bachelorettes and I had

no idea whatsoever. So, you know, that just goes to show that you never know what people are going through. Oh yeah. Yeah. It's really hard. I mean, and have you ever been like caught by the paparazzi and like looking at each other and you're like, it looks like we hate each other's guts. Oh my God. Are you kidding me? Constantly. And I mean, I remember being at a wedding, it was, um, you know jwoww and roger from jersey shore and they're doing their dance and they of course post they put a picture of that in the magazine and i'm like back there ryan and i were not even i don't think we're even touching we're just standing there and i think i had my arms like this and i just had total resting bitch face and roger texted me and he's like way to have fun at my wedding or whatever

whatever it was something funny like that but yes there's been of course we we don't always you know it's not always unicorns and rainbows around okay that is so funny back to the wedding you were like bride times 100 and now it's been 17 years so I want to know if because I have a question I know where you need your vows and I went down a long internet stalk and I can't find a photo anywhere so it's hidden of our renewal yeah are you in red no I was wearing a like silverish champagne-ish I swear to god I couldn't find it by google so all that came up was the first dress. So tell me, what would you change or what do you still love about the wedding dress? Because I think all of us, like as you go, the years go on, you're like, oh my God, I should

have done that. I should have had a mermaid. I should have had a sleeve. So true. You know what? I had two dresses. I had one for the wedding and then one for the reception and I live for my reception dress. I kind of wish I would have done that dress for the wedding. I mean, it was a pretty picture and it was sleeveless and it had a lower back and it had like you know the pink on it because you know i was a lover of pink at the time kind of still am but um but um you know i liked it i i what i would have changed is my hair oh how was the hair oh god i'm googling it honestly trista i would never say and all brides are beautiful but someone cut bangs on you right before the wedding and I was unhappy. It wasn't right before, but Ryan did get his haircut right

before, but Oh my God. I, I, yeah, the hair it's awful. Do you not like the bang or you don't like the up? I don't like all of it. I hated all of it. Oh. And my, Oh my gosh, my engagement hair was even worse. You guys, you're just more chic. Oh, this, the engagement hair, the bouffant. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. See, I love the engagement hair. I love it. It's very Jackie Kennedy.

Yeah. Okay, well, thank you. I mean, it's ridiculous, but it's chic. It's, like, it's very slick and, like, I don't know, Becca. Was this necklace on your – was that real? Uh-huh. And that actually – I didn't – I wasn't crazy about the necklace either. So, if you pull up my – I don't know if you can see my reception dress necklace.

That necklace was gorgeous. And they were both to Corey. And they're stunning. I mean that, that necklace, like when I came out, I remember people saying I could see the necklace. Yeah. Oh my gosh. That's what they first noticed was, was my necklace. Um, I still really love your, um, sorry, this is a podcast. So she's wearing like a sort of a line princess sort of set Duchess satin sort of strapless dress. It's, it's, it's pretty, it's a timeless dress. It was very timeless. I I've kept it, you know, thinking maybe Blake's Lee, my daughter wants to like

pull different things out of it and, you know, whatever. But, um, I loved both of them. They were Badgley Mishka and the process alone of being fitted for it. My mom and I were in their, um, there's like salon in New York and we have like a little mini fashion show. And then they let me like pick different elements from different dresses. And I basically created my own dress. So the whole process was really kind of once in a lifetime and something that I would have never experienced otherwise so have you put the dress on since the wedding I have not it's still in you know the box that they give you that's like bubble wrapped or whatever I feel like I'm 20 on 20 I need like a re-people photo shoot like you're in the dress

with Ryan still oh my god yes incredible and you gotta cut bangs again no no without the bangs like caitlin did on dancing with the stars did you see the one where she it was 80s night and they did the bank piece yeah that's what i'll do you're listening to the lady gang so okay a couple more things sorry there's so much to talk to you about you're gonna come back um what's chris harrison really like and then jack you can ask all your bachelorette questions okay what's chris harrison really like he's great he's like he's like our older brother you know I don't know what your experience was with him I know um your your amount of experience was very short yeah I don't think I actually saw him but thanks

I actually don't I think the only time I saw him when he came in with like the one little impression rose and put it down and then like and I went and then like he came in and took it and then walked away to give it to someone else I was like you had to have interviewed him over the years I I did interview him and I think for the first couple interviews I don't think he knew who I was and I was like I've always been like for the first few years after I was like so embarrassed I was on the show because I did so horribly and I'm like competitive and I'm like yeah I'm like you know if you don't make it like past a group date you're like kind of embarrassed anyway so then I didn't say anything and then after a while I started owning it and I was like

no and I was like do you remember when you told the press you didn't understand why I get kicked off because I'm so cute do you still think I'm cute and I was like you didn't know me like you know that's why it's funny he's like I never met the guy totally no he's great he's great he um He, we'll call him when we go to LA and we've stayed at his house. I'm still friends with his wife or ex-wife, Gwen. Love him with Lauren. Like he's, he's just like an older brother that you can, that you can write to vent and get the scoop and, you know, dish the dirt with behind the scenes, of course, but he would never ever say anything in public. But yeah, he's, he's great. he's just like an older brother and I love him. He's one of those relationships that I'll have

forever, forever. Okay. So I have a question. So, I mean, nowadays we all know that The Bachelor is like highly produced and people are being manipulated in different ways by producers, et cetera. Did your season feel like that because you were the first one or did it, cause now it's all about like storylines and how we can twist things and manipulate this person to cause this drama. Did you feel that way filming your season? Or do you think that's been like a more recent thing? It is definitely not a more recent thing, but so I have a couple things. So number one, um, number one, I remember the first night there was a guy that got out of the limo and you know, you're supposed to get out of the limo and the guys like, uh, button their coats

and you know, you're supposed to stand there for just a second. And he stood there for more than just a second, but he was looking straight at the camera. He like, he didn't even see me. And I was like, okay, note taken. And you're going to be gone tonight. So, um, so we get to deciding that the end of the night with the producers and I'm like, they were like, okay, so who are you going to pick to stay? And I said, definitely not that guy. And I remember Lisa Levinson saying, no, but wait, he's my pick for you. Like they all make a bet to see who ends up like past the first night pass, the second night, you know, all of those things. And she's like, I pick him toward the end to go to the end. And I'm like, I'm sorry, Lisa. No, he's gone. So that was one time where

they didn't influence it. And I feel like nowadays they will, they will keep a guy around if they think he's going to be good for drama, if he's going to be a villain, if he's going to be the, you know, the guy that I fall in love with, whatever. But I was like, no, not having it. So i know that during my season that happened and it wouldn't happen today um but what is funny and i feel like i've talked about this before but maybe not maybe i'm giving you guys an exclusive after how many freaking years 20 years um so at our wedding maybe actually it was at our bachelor bachelorette party one of the producers left their um their binder out like they forgot their binder somewhere. And, and one of the people who was at the bachelor bachelorette party picked it

up and gave it to us. And it had like, like their, their characters, like the storylines for every person. A wedding? Like before? I think it was a bachelor bachelorette party. So they were, they had all of our friends who were invited to the bachelor bachelorette parties. Oh wow. And they had, you know, all of the, their bios and, you know, probably some stuff that they interviewed about. And then they, I think they had like, like titles, like maybe like the villain or the sweetheart or the, you know, so I know that it has been going on since my season, since our season. Um, but that's TV. I mean, that's what they have to do. They, the editors need to know who these people are and be able to pull, you know, certain clips, um, from their ITMs or, um, you know,

whatever. So it's a TV show. It's, it's always going to be a TV show. It's getting more of our TV show. I feel like, um, compared to what, how it was, you know, back in the day, I've, I keep saying, I would love for it to be more innocent like it was for Ryan and I. Um, but I just don't know how you get back to that innocence. You can't unless you pluck someone from obscurity and don't like recycle people from older shows. So I don't know. I have a question for you about when you were thrown into like 26 million people's homes and there's press and there's all this stuff. Granted, social media wasn't really quite what it is now. It wasn't anything. Right. There's like message boards, right? She's like, I got my, I got my, my space, right?

So my question is, you know, was there a point in which you read something about yourself or you heard a talk show host say something about you that was just, you realized it was like, this is, this is my life is going to be on display and it hurt your feelings or it made you regret ever putting yourself out there? Oh, all the time. Um, I did a Ted talk, uh, I don't know, like five years ago, something like that. And it was, uh, I think I titled it the power of you, um, or the value of you. And in the talk I talked about, um, people said, um, uh, uh, you know, I should, I should kill myself. Like all of the things that you hear about, you know, people nowadays, I got criticized for the way I talk, the way I laugh, the way I walked, um, all the things,

you know, um, it's hard. It's really hard. I mean, I know you guys go through it too. Um, if you are a persona in the public eye, you are open to criticism. And I think that, um, I have a tougher skin, but I'm a really sensitive person and it's still hard to this day. Um, people that are my loyal followers, I feel like are really kind and really sweet. And for the most part, we have had very positive interactions with people. You know, if they come up to us or if they reach out to us, it's usually pretty positive. But what, what kills me is that because I'm really sensitive, the negative stuff, um, really strikes a chord and I cannot help. I don't know how you guys feel about this, but I cannot help

writing back the haters and being like, but this and this and you suck and blah, blah, blah. And you know, it's so, so bad. It's such a bad habit of mine. Ryan will be like, why are you giving them any, any attention whatsoever? You just, just delete it, just delete it. And, and that's the advice that I give to other people is just delete it and put it out of your mind. And like, um, I don't know when Caitlin had the bad scores on dancing with the stars, I called her and I was like, just put that out of your mind. Like it's a TV show and, and don't worry about what they're saying. Just keep crushing it. And you know, it's the advice that I give other people, but yet I can't take it myself. Well, it's like you're defending your

character. Cause of a lot of that is it's like you, you're just allowing somebody to say all this stuff about your personal character. And it takes, I mean, we go through it all the time too, where it's like, it takes everything inside of you to not allow yourself to try to defend yourself. So it's the trolls, man. And we're actually assholes. I can't even imagine if it wasn't. Yeah. We're dicks. So it's like, we deserve it for sure. Yeah. Especially me. I'm always shocked at let's like, you've followed me for all these years and then you've decided that i'm like this horrible person and you're gonna write me about it i'm like shouldn't you know like that i'm like i'm like introverted journaling fucking loser who sits around my house like you

don't need to tell me that i'm a fuck up like i know and if you've been following me you know i know i hate myself it's fine and it's like right after you post like something self-depreciating or whatever and you're like dude like keep it to yourself why do you spend your fucking time writing me when when you could be doing so much so many other things I don't know it just people are dead can you tell it really gets to me yeah it does how do you think Claire's season is going and with the whole I don't know exactly when this is going to air but like is it crazy to you what's going on with the Tayshia thing it is crazy but I I have to give it up to the producers can you Give us the Kohl's notes for everyone that hasn't listened around the world or for our world.

So on the last episode of Bachelorette, since we don't know when this is going to air, we don't know what's going to be out. But at this point in time, we know that Claire is really loving Dale, like really loving Dale. And it looks like she's going to walk off into the sunset with him. Never before has anyone done that or even been allowed to even think that because when you sign the contract to be the bachelor or the bachelorette i believe honestly i feel like it was in my contract that you have to stay around for the entirety of the show you you stick around you you stick through it even if you're feeling someone you stick through it because you don't know what could change like you probably knew ryan was your person earlier than the

show showed ryan was your person for sure although i have a really different story because of what happened with me and Alex. Like he told me he was going to choose me. And then he didn't like two days before. Um, and so I held my emotions pretty close to the sleeve when, um, I went through the bachelorette because I didn't want that same thing to happen. I didn't want to do that to somebody else. So my story is different, but, um, they, they want, they, they have to produce a show. Like they are, they sell a show for 66 episodes, 10 episodes, 12 episodes, whatever and so they need content to be able to produce these 12 episodes and and i believe in your contract it says that you have to stay until the end so the fact that she's even like that

we're even talking about this is crazy to me because uh i think that it's because the bachelor producers they've been around for almost 20 years they know that in order to keep the show alive and to float. They need to change it up every so often. And this is the way that they're changing it up this season. And I think it's actually kind of brilliant because everyone's talking about it. And they're giving two bachelorettes the chance to find love and two great bachelorettes, two very different bachelorettes who will pull in different audiences. And so anyway, I think it's genius. I think it's great. And I'm really excited for both of them because they could potentially have two bachelorettes uh two bachelorettes success stories in one season

two giant neil lane two giant neil lane rings halo engagement rings ready for the bachelorette yep okay now my question you've been married 17 years you have two tweens ryan has a six pack we have a constant um sorry back to ryan we have a constant um gamut in the lady gang of our sex lives and how to stay married. And some people are like, you got to have sex five times a week, sometimes once a week, once a month, whatever it is. I want to ask you, would you be willing to share what you think the sexual recipe for 17 years of marriage and two tweens can be? Really hope my kids don't listen to this. Turn it off, kids. Turn it off, earmuffs, earmuffs, earmuffs. They're all so like, yeah. But you know what? I think it's all about what

you guys think is important for your relationship. So for Ryan, sex is important. For me, sex is important because it's two different things, guy, girl. Guy, orgasm, girl, intimacy, at least in our relationship. So I think for us, it is really important to be very regular and not to say that it's like, okay, it's Tuesday. So it's time. Um, but you know, we take advantage of whenever he's home. So he's a firefighter. He works a 24 hour shifts and then he's gone for 48 hours. So, sorry, he's home for 48 hours. So, um, he's not home all the time and which is hot. You get to miss him. True. It's true. That's, that is, I think also a big part of our success is that we have our own space, you know, within our relationship. I think that's really important

too, and respecting each other's space. And, um, we've been able to do that thankfully. So, and when he, so we took a year break to go into construction like last year and he was home, um, every night and it was, it was crazy because I was like, wait a second, I can't leave the dishes in the, in the, in the sink, um, for a day. I need my me time. yeah i need my me time to not have to clean and cook and everything um but you know back to it i think that it's it's really important to just make sure you make it a priority whether that in that week so our weeks change every week um because of our schedules and whenever he's home it's not an

everyday thing um although he would like it to be um it's not an everyday thing it's an almost everyday thing, you know? So I think that, yeah. Holy shit. What? I feel like you have the most sex of anyone in the lady gang. I don't think so. That would be me. Oh, sorry. Okay. It's definitely not me. Well, I think last time we did talk about it, I think that we were in a good streak. That's probably what you guys were in a good streak. We go through such phases. Like it's really, it's really hard to maintain the connection of intimacy, like through without the span of an entire marriage. So it's like, right. And I just feel like I also, something occurred to me the other day, we don't have kids yet. And we've been married, um, since 2016. So like four years. And

by now a lot of couples have already had their first baby. So all these women talk about, you know, it kills your sex life. The babies kill the sex life. But like, I think what kills the sex life is not the babies. It's just that you've been together so long at that point. Not so long, but like, it's been a good amount of time that you've been with the same person. So it's not as exciting. Right. So it's like, I sort of feel like just for all the girls out there who think it's like, I had a child and now my sex life is gone. Just, I'm here to tell you, it's not the child. It's that you're seeing the same person naked. I think it's both. I think for sure when, and it's, it's like the every day of it all, you know, like if you're, if you're a stay-at-home

mom like me, um, it's hard. You feel freaking exhausted by the end of the day. And if your husband comes home, he's a, he's a guy who works a nine to five, you know, you're like, whatever, I'm tired. I don't want to do this, but I think it's, it's really important to just prioritize your relationship and make sure, even if it's just a quickie, like if you're, if you are easy, seriously. Yeah. Anything, anything you can do to stay connected, um, is so important. I, I truly, I truly believe that, um, it's, it's been one of the key ingredients to our relationship. For sure. Love it. We love it, Trista. Jack, I'm so sorry. And everyone, we ran out of time. We can't do ask the lady gang you're gonna have to come back trista but the conversation i have so

many more bachelor questions okay ask one more one more no it's fine it's for sure yes it's fine you have to come back on trista because now you have your podcast um and it comes out every tuesday what do you talk about on your podcast who do you have so i i'm thinking that you guys probably wouldn't be like my demographic listeners because you're from what i gather maybe not into like i i know you don't follow like the inspirational people the people who make the quotes and oh kelty me and becca would not be your demo kelty is is your demo okay i read i read the breakdown of the podcast i'm very into it i'm so excited so you got you're onto something here thank you i um how to better your life right exactly how to better your life i during

quarantine, my son and I had an argument. Um, no idea what our argument was about right now, but I remember walking away from it thinking I need to be better. And I was, I was sucking at life. Like I was not a good wife. I was not a good mother. I was not a good friend. I was not a good anything. I was just like taking up space on my couch and, um, telling my kids to go pay attention to their teachers on zoom. You know, like I, I was not good. Um, so I walked away from it thinking I just need to be better. And, and it kind of, I had a light bulb moment and I thought that is what I want to put out into the world. I've written a book about gratitude. I did that Ted talk about, um, valuing you and, um, and now I, I want to do this to honestly selfish.

A big part of it is selfishly. I want to learn how to be better at all these things. So the first one was last Tuesday and I had Ryan on talking about, um, kind of his motto and, um, who he truly is as a person. And then talking, dishing about like his career changes and why the, all of that happened and kind of helping people with, um, living a life of purpose. So that was that. And then Kat Sadler, who I'm pretty sure you guys know, um, she comes on for my second episode, which is going to be, uh, going live tomorrow. So, um, she talks about handling professional and private breakups, um, or personal breakups considering she was, um, you know, she left E news after she found out that Jason was getting paid, you know, double her salary. So, um,

and she's been a long time friend. We danced together in college. So, um, Yes. Isn't that crazy? Um, that is crazy. So anyway, um, I plan on having guests talk like Mindy Weiss is actually going to come on. I'm interviewing her this week. I'm talking about how to plan a perfect party. So it's, it's like just any way you can be better. I'll be talking about it. So if you guys have any thoughts, ideas, people that you think I should have on, if you guys want to come on, like let's chat. Cool. Well, we can't help anyone better. We can help you be worse when you have like a yearly wrap up and it's like, be worse. I don't think so. You've got over a hundred million downloads. Congratulations. Thank you. It's amazing. I

strive to love other people that suck. Yeah. Don't be too good. Don't be too good. That's our advice. Better, et cetera, is every Tuesday. So after you listen to Lady Gang fans, head on over, subscribe to Trista's podcast, better, et cetera. It's wherever you get podcasts, um, and, and be better. So you'd be like a little bit worse in the morning and then the afternoon you'd be better. And it's like a nice, you can also follow Trista Sutter on Instagram. I know you're already following her. Um, and we're so excited to have you have to come back. We loved having you. There's like so much more tea to spell. Um, and congratulations on your great marriage and, um, say hi to Ryan for us. All right. We will. See you next Tuesday.

day lady gang is produced by alex ingberg will sterling and steve delamater make sure that you rate and review this podcast where you listen to it please it makes a huge difference and also subscribe so you never miss an episode and if you really love the episode we want to hear from you on our social media channels at becca at kelty at jack vanek at the lady gang but more importantly we want to see you sharing the lady gang with your friends so be like oh my god i just listened This episode was great. Okay, here you go. Here's the link.

Love it, love it, love it. Okay, thanks for listening, and we'll see you next Tuesday.