LadyGang - We’re Proud of Keltie

Episode Date: May 10, 2022

After two years of planning, Superfan has officially wrapped and Keltie is telling Jac and Becca all about it. Find out what she did to get ready, how she celebrated after and what she has planned next.  Check out our amazing sponsors!!! Nutrafol: Grow thicker, healthier hair by going to Nutrafol.com and use code LADY to save $15 OFF your first month’s subscription! Catalina Crunch: Go to CatalinaCrunch.com/lady for 15% off your first order PLUS FREE shipping! Daily Harvest: Give Crumbles a try today! Go to DailyHarvest.com/lady to get up to $40 off your first box! MasterClass: Get 15% off an annual membership at MasterClass.com/lady  European Wax Center: Enjoy the summer of smooth at European Wax Center! Make a reservation today - your first wax is free! Starbucks Baya Energy Drink: It’s energy that’s good! Now available online, at grocery stores, convenience stores, and gas stations nationwide.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Big announcement here. Our second book, our sophomore book, Lady Secrets, Real, Raw, and Ridiculous Confessions of Womanhood is available now for pre-order. Head over to theladygang.com slash secrets to pre-order your book now. We're so excited about this. Thank you to our community who submitted all of their deepest, darkest secrets. And there's a couple sprinkled in there from yours truly

and the other two dum-dums on this podcast. We love you guys so much for your support. We're so excited for you guys to read this. Head on over and order Lady Secrets at theladygang.com slash secrets. Today's episode of Lady Gang is brought to you by the new Starbucks Baya Energy Drink with caffeine naturally found in coffee fruit. It's energy that's good. Starbucks Baya Energy Drink is available online at grocery stores,

convenience stores, and gas stations nationwide. Well, what is this? Welcome to the Lady Gang. That's amazing. Say that again. The Lady Gang. Things are about to change around here. Each week, we catch up with Hollywood's hottest girl posse, Kelty Knight, Becca Tobin, and Jack Vanek.

Hello, hello, hello. Welcome to the Lady Gang. I am Becca Tobin, here with Jack Vanek and Kelty Knight. Hello. The real question I have is, I've been so influenced by you, Jack Vanek, that I really want the sweatshirt that you're wearing, the elder emos that's like tie-dye. like i want that sweatshirt but like i'm not an elder emo you kind of are i'm an elder goody two shoes you're an elder emo you dated one of the most famous guitarists and a famous emo band that makes you an elder emo you're an emo groupie you are the elder emo other than me hope i can get a discount code then yeah maybe i'll maybe i'll send you one i don't know can your next sweatshirt say emo groupie oh elder groupie elder groupie oh my god oh my god hey guys hi yeah hi um it's

been a while since it's just been the three of us it's also been a while since the three of us have even connected because kelty knight has been building her empire she climbed to the top of the mountain she really did she thrived she crushed it uh jack and i collectively got so much joy out of her instagram for two reasons equal parts very genuinely and proud of this woman because she is a beast like there's no one who can achieve more than kelty knight it's just it's not possible no but what i love so much what jack and i love so much is that her instagram content during this time was truly remarkable she and Elon Musk have a lot in common so Elon is now he he's like I'm the talk of the town and I am just gonna like lean into this huge you know moment in my life

of acquiring Twitter and it's his world and everybody's living in it but it actually is Elon's world and everybody's living in it unfortunately right he's really relishing I appreciate i realized this week that elon and kelty have a lot in common like he's not a he's not the quiet confident type and um neither is kelty knight and so her posts were so amazing they were like you it was like tony robbins level inspiration like i am telling you from from experience like you can do this too you can be here too and i wanted to be like no they can't because they're not you. Like, I am upset for anybody who follows you

who believes that they can achieve what you have achieved because you're actually a maniac. Well, my favorite post that Kelty made, it was one that was like, you're posting all this stuff about superfans. It's like, yes, this is your time to gloat. Like, everybody's so excited for you. And then you make a post, you're like,

and I just wanted to let you know, just because my star is shining so, so bright doesn't mean that your life is any lesser than. and i'm like kelty nobody is thinking this everybody's excited for you but like i don't think that anybody was like i wish that like that was me up there because it's your job is so disconnected from like everybody's normal life that like nobody thinks they're gonna like create a show and sell it to cbs and be the host of it yeah it's really out of the realm of possibilities my defense i will tell you that i got more nice comments and dms about my hey by the

way i've been in sweatpants for two years if you're like if this is my if my happiness is triggering you just like chill out a lot of people were like either yo you didn't need to say like you guys you didn't need to say that we're happy for you but i also got a lot of people like thanks this makes me feel so much better because I do think have, I get very triggered by other people's happiness on Instagram because I'm a jealous bitch, you know? So maybe the other jealous bitches were like, wow, thanks. Cause I felt, I don't think you're a jealous bitch. I just think that you have a really, you're really hard on yourself. And so if somebody else is achieving and you're not at that moment, it's not that you're jealous of them. It's that you're like

really wishing that it was you. Well, that's, I think the definition of no Brene Brown actually just redefine jealousy there's envy and there's jealousy and so she's not so jealousy is when you yeah it's like it's like she explained it obviously i'm going to botch this but it's like don't call yourself a jealous bitch if all it is is you don't want to take that thing away from that person i mean sometimes you might if you don't like that person that would be jealousy envy is like i just i think this is the right order but it's like i just i want that for myself yes I also want that for myself not I want to take this away from you for it to be me yeah that makes sense so I used to have a lot of shame surrounding those feelings of like

especially like with acting seeing somebody else but it was never that I didn't want that person to get the job I mean don't get me wrong there's a few bitches in Hollywood that are bitches and I don't want them to have jobs because I don't think they deserve them but most of the time it's just like, oh man, I wish I was posting a deadline article, even though if there was one to post, I wouldn't do it. Yeah, exactly. You wish there was a deadline article out there that you're not sharing that I could ignore. Um, we're really proud of you. It's like so crazy. I'm so sad. I didn't go to a taping. Jack went and said it was like the most magical thing ever. Well, I want to jump into good week, bad week. Cause I want to talk about it. Cause that's my good week.

all right let's do it time for good week yes it is bad week oh no i'll go first uh my good week is that i went to a taping of superfan and like no snark no like making fun of kelty no nothing like it was phenomenal like i was sitting there like a proud little mama even though i'm you're like my mom but I was just like so proud of you like the whole show was so amazing you literally felt like it had been going on for years it was so seamless there was like not a single up and it was just like it was the star power was just shining everywhere and I have just never been so proud of anybody than I am of you right now after going to a taping of that and I'm so honored that I could go, honestly. That's so nice. Can I just hop in there and just remind you that even

Brian Seacrest still does his morning show with his friends because Jack and I are worried that you're going to go off and become Ryan Seacrest, but we want you to remember he still does the show with Tanya every morning. Okay. No, I, um, you cannot stop lady gang. Never. The funniest thing i will say in response to this was like i thought jack hated it the whole time what yeah jack has a kelty resting bitch face and anna rose was like no no that's just her face i was like i think she hates it and because because alexis who are you with alexis and cat no i was with afton and cat sorry afton and cat were like like smiling and bopping their little heads around and jack was exactly the way she is at everything where she was just like low-key like i couldn't

tell is she having fun does she hate it i know there weren't drinks there were no drinks available we had drinks before and then and then at the end not to give anything away on the episode but she came to the ll cool j episode which like i knew was maybe not jack's like i love ll cool j oh my god i'm a super fan now he's this show made me a super fan it like you should it showed his personality and like he put on this like amazing performance i was like i feel like i'm at front row at coachella yeah like it was so good but anyways apparently i wasn't no they made jack dance like they had dances like the audience had to do movement and i was like oh my god she's gonna hate me she's gonna hate me but then afterwards she was like oh my god it was amazing amazing so

i think it's just like how people feel when i'm watching them and my face is not like well here is the thing i just don't like giving audience participation and i didn't realize i was going to be put smack dab in the middle where they're like and we're gonna have you applause again and for the fifth time and the tenth that wasn't enough so i need energy energy energy and i'm like i hate this and then they made us do a choreographed dance which you know i hate but you know i i did it anyways because it's for kelsey supported me but you know that is like my absolute like least favorite thing to do but when we get closer i have the video that anna rose who did my hair as friends with jack took of jack doing the dance from oh amazing i mean by dance it

was you're you're just going back and forth but you know i can't even do that i was probably going like one way with the top of my body and one way at the bottom like i didn't know what i was doing but um yeah i didn't like that part but other than that kelty it was it was so good it was so good and like i said i became a super fan of lo cool j so even if people are doing what it's supposed to do yeah like the the fans watching the show like it's gonna it gives like a very personal aspect to the star like you get to know them as a person like his personality was amazing he was so funny and charming um it was just so good i'm so proud of you thank you thank you killed killed it killed it okay what's your bad week so my bad week is um if you are like feeling bad about yourself

don't go to tiktok and ask them anything about yourself i posted a tiktok i wasn't feeling bad about myself but i posted this tiktok it was a trend where there's this filter it's a smoky eye but like there's something weird going on with the skin of it that the thing is you either look like a hot mom or a cigarette mom yeah i love this one cigarette mom is amazing way to describe that yes so i did the trend era i like filmed it and i was like oh i actually look pretty good so in the comments i was like which one am i thinking people are going to be like oh you're a hot cigarette mom every single comment was cigarette mom it was like four packs a day cigarette mom wow you're like you've been smoking since you're 15 cigarette mom not a single

positive comment so never go to tiktok to ask them if you're hot or not because they will always say that you're ugly well tiktok is a horrible place yeah but it's also wonderful like the content on TikTok is amazing the people on TikTok are the biggest trolls that you can find anywhere well but this is what I love about it because no matter what you post people are assholes so it's kind of just like negates the whole thing you're like well then I'm just gonna do whatever the I want and I don't care at all because you're just assuming there's gonna be a million trolls which I kind of like because on Instagram you're like worried about the one bad comment yes and it's gonna ruin your day but if there's I had 350 horrible comments on there and I'm like

amazing yeah i did a good job a comment's a comment a comment um no bad press bad press kelty would you like to go no you go back becca you go okay um so my bad week is this zach is i think i've talked about this before but like zach is very intelligent person he's very successful like he's great in so many areas of life but he's such a moron when it comes to being in touch with his body. Oh my God. Men. Yes. Men are so, he has had an ear issue since we've started dating. Yeah. And every time, every time he complains about it, I go, you know, what would be so crazy cool is if we had really good insurance, which we do. And there were doctors who specialized in the ears, which there are. I, so anyways, this is a running joke in

our lives because it's just like, if you want to suffer, suffer in silence, suffer in silence. Yes. So get your shit checked. So he, I walk into his office yesterday and this is, this is a very typical conversation that goes down. It's not often, but when it does, it's exactly the same. Hey, how's it going? This is me to Zach. I don't know. I just, I don't feel so good. Okay. Well, what's going on? What, how, what's hurting? What's, what does it feel like? well i pooped three times today i was like oh oh my god i feel amazing yeah it was like diarrhea do you have a stomach ache no no no it's normal and i was like okay um i was like did you uh what hurts he's like i just i don't feel good maybe it's like uh maybe it's anxiety i don't know

like maybe it's anxiety i go well how much caffeine have you had today and he goes well i've had two cups of coffee in a celsius and i said well what did you eat today and he said well i haven't eaten yet this is like 2 p.m and i'm like first of all how the are you supposed to tell me that you can't understand why you don't feel good when it's 2 p.m and you've had like 800 milligrams of caffeine and not a stitch of food not a stitch of food also pooping three times is not a an ailment like it was the weirdest it was like asking a four-year-old how they're feeling inside and i just can't understand why why men are so bad at this i would feel on the top of the goddamn world if i pooped three times in one day i would be like

i'm cleaned out i feel amazing i'm ready to go i'm at like a baseline like that's not unless you're like peeing out of your butthole like that's a great and even that would be nice you know yeah i would take that out of not pooping it's it's very bizarre so that's my bad week i just don't know what i'm gonna do with him and now i have another man in my life that's gonna grow up to be that man and i just don't think i can take it i mean i can't i'm gonna have to that's dude men that's just men like men are so out of touch with their bodies and i think it's because they don't have periods yeah like we have to be in touch with our body because we have to like do am i pregnant like am i gonna bleed today like we we have to as like a baseline and men are just like

bumbling around like an idiot it's not even knowing what's going on it's so true it's so weird um okay so my good week is i am being followed by martha stewart a real housewife oh and listen i'm followed by a couple but that's because I've had interactions, you know, podcast, whatever Heather Dubrow, I consider her a friend at this point. So it's like, you know, cool. Well, I went to purchase something and buy a real housewife, Shannon storms, the door. Wait, you're going to drink this vitamin drink. No, it's a, it's a tincture. It's just lemon, cayenne and turmeric so it's like actually i'm doing a tiktok like um series where i buy

housewives products and i i review them that's a good series yeah i'm excited so this was one that i did and it's great it's wonderful but i went to her site just to sort of like or her instagram to sort of like look around and it said shannon storms bedore follows you wow and only you i'm on her instagram right now there's not a follow from me why she knows i'm a fan you guys are not fans no i'm not a fan of shannon you're not a fan of shannon not really i mean it's like i haven't i haven't watched oc long enough i'm only on my second season so i don't think i got her in her prime and i'm just like oh you know but okay good for you yeah that is it that's a great week. Congratulations. It's exciting. Did you like her product? I have it right now in my

drink. You do? Cause it's yeah. Cause it's like, there's, there's nothing like you're supposed to do a little droplet every day. And I like things that I put in water because it just forces me to drink water too. And you can't really taste it. It's not overpowering. Anyways, what do we have planned for today? I'm very sorry. Okay. So I want to do my good week, bad week. And then I have a bunch of things i need to tell you guys but i'll do that in the regular okay so my good week is that i threw a really fun so it's against the rules of the production team nowadays i don't know why how it worked on our e-show because we got to like get a cast party paid for by production but it's against the rules so anyway i threw a beautiful i guess it's like against i don't know

they don't want to like put budget in for your cast party like if you're going to get money from the network for your show it's got to go to the show it can't go to a party okay you know kind of makes sense to be honest yeah like don't you want morale i guess when the show's over they don't care no they're like bye you did your job i don't know so anyway i was like well i want to do something so i threw a social event at my house there were people at my house all day um and then like had to pack up so it was like 12 hours of social and your nightmare it was a lot um but anyway, it was a really nice party. I had a spa party and people got massages and mini facials and bouquet making. And it was just like really, really fun. And everyone was like really thankful.

And I felt like, Oh my God, I really am a good boss. I did the right thing. It's amazing. Now this is my bad week. What I noticed during the parties, we didn't have enough seating for everyone. So the party planner, Kelsey, like laid down rugs and poofs all over the grass. and like i i last week i was making a salad out of my lettuce grow and i noticed that there was a lot of earwigs in my lettuce and i was like it's fine it's lettuce this happens like it's not no pesticide so you just like shake them off and then i always rinse the vegetables and then like i eat during the party as i was looking around i realized my entire lawn is infested with earwigs so every once in a while i would just see a little earwig do you know what they

look like the back the little slugs no it's like a it looks like a it looks like a cockroach but the back is a pincher right bum is a picture oh no oh i i saw your little thing was infested with slugs and i was like that is adorable i have a lot of animal problems so i'm like at the party everyone's laying out and then i just like everywhere i look there's like a little earwig crawling on the poof or on the blanket or whatever but i don't want anyone to know so i was just like oh my God, it's just so crazy. They're in my lettuce. And I'd like fluff them away. So then yesterday I went to go lay on my outdoor lounger and I saw another one and I pulled up the pillow. It was completely earwigs. Anyway, so this is my bad week. I have an infestation,

but I read on the internet that you can make an earwig trap. So I took a little yogurt bowl and I put olive oil and soy sauce in it. And then I covered it in plastic wrap and made holes the size of earwigs. And I put it in the grass. And this morning I went out there and there's like 25 earwigs did you take a picture i will take a picture for you if you're that interested i do enjoy pictures of things like that yeah so i'm now tonight i'm gonna make like 500 little bottles of oil soy sauce and i'm gonna get rid of my earwig infestation wow come on over to your ep creator hosts nice house in the hills and enjoy this party and also a pincher bug on your leg yeah wow they're not cute well today zach killed a scorpion oh not in the house but outside the

house was too close for comfort though it was right by the threshold of our home too close to a baby close to a baby sorry i used to not kill bugs but now i have a baby yeah okay you're dead when we come back i need to tell you about when i peeked on the sidewalk at delilah so this episode of lady gang is brought to you by my snack yesterday which is catalina crunch cereal it's really delicious and most foods that have zero sugar they don't taste delicious but they really nailed it low carb and keto friendly plus it packs a whopping 11 grams of plant braced protein and nine grams of fiber per serving there's a bunch of amazing flavors i was kind of feeling like i wanted a sweet tooth i wanted something you know a little treat in the morning

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They have a new strawberry peach smoothie, which, oh my God, it melts in your mouth. And they have crumbles that are new. They are Daily Harvest new plant-based crumbles. They're savory, delicious source of protein made from ingredients grown in the ground, not in a lab. They are a hundred percent built on plants and nothing else. So give crumbles a try today. Go to dailyharvest.com slash lady to get $40 off your first box at dailyharvest.com slash lady $40 off your first box dailyharvest.com slash lady. This episode of Lady Gang is brought to you by Nutrafol and so is my hair. When I tell you I have gone around, I swear to God, the whole world telling people about Nutrafol. You need to take it. You need to sign up for it. You will thank me and you need to

stay on it. You need to stay on it like at least six months. I'm on three years. I take four every single day and my hair grows. It's strong. It can handle the elements. It's not just me. In a clinical study, 86% of women reported improved hair growth after six months. And that's what I mean. People I've talked to and they're like, I took it for a month. No, no, no. You got to take it for at least six months and you're going to start noticing it. And a year in, you're going to be like, oh, wow, I have the most beautiful hair of my life. You can grow thicker hair and support our show by going to Nutrafol.com and entering the promo code lady to save $15 off your first month subscription. This is their best offer anywhere and is only available to

US customers for a limited time, plus free shipping on every order. Get $15 off at Nutrafol.com spelled N-U-T-R-A-F-O-L.com promo code lady. now back to the lady gang okay we're back i'm um so i have so many things to tell you and i've been keeping a list so i'm sorry if this moment is a little keltyism but i just i need to share these things with you guys go ahead okay so for the last year you guys know i've been crazy stressed out about superfan and we had a really hard time booking the show and i've been up at like four o'clock in the morning just like laying in the abyss super stressed out and this whole time, this whole time I was like, Kelty, you have to sleep. Like you have to calm down. You have to

sleep. And I'd go to the medicine cabinet and I would take a Xanax or half a Xanax just to like fall asleep in the middle of the night when I had like these panic attacks. Right. So then it's a two weeks ago, I'm starting super fan. And I was like, Oh, you know what? I should take my beta blockers with me because I'm going to be nervous. And I don't want to like have a high speaky voice when I'm home. You know? So I was like, I got to get my beta blockers. And I was like, where are they where are they where are they and i'm looking at them you guys for the entire year instead of taking xanax i was taking the beta blockers so i never i never slept i was always like couldn't fall asleep i had so much anxiety and it was because i wasn't helping myself at all do the

beta don't the beta blockers kind of help with anxiety though no they just like slow your heart rate you feel exactly the same you just feel like oh i thought i helped with nerves it does but it's like it's like your adrenaline it's a different kind of although mine makes me sleepy my beta blockers but it's not the same as xanax that's for sure also can you stop skimming things that are important i know that's insane also they don't even look remotely similar the pills they don't mine do mine don't never mind i mean maybe you're maybe you're maybe i'm generic just Anyway, I'm going to stop skimming. No, I'm going to stop skimming.

But here's the good news. I did only take beta blockers for the Pitbull episode. And then after that, I was having the time of my life and I didn't need them anymore. I wasn't nervous anymore. There you go. That's the trick. You didn't seem nervous at all to me. So like by the end of it, you were.

I was nervous when you were there because I was not wearing panties. I couldn't wear panties with a dress and I felt very uncomfortable. Well, you're basically naked. I would have been nervous too. Was that the black dress? No, it was like the tiny, tiny blue mini. Oh, I love that one. bandage dress it was my least favorite of the week that's okay okay so then I need to tell you

about my Friday night okay sorry so you know that I never go out I hate people and you also know I can't handle my liquor so Friday night we finished taping superfans the last episode and it was Kelsey Ballerini who's like just so lovely and she's like to Nate and I my co-host she's like come have a drink in the trailer after the show. I was like, okay, let's have a glass of wine. So we're having a glass of wine. She's like, well, what do you, I was like, what are you doing tonight while you're in LA? And she's like, oh, well, we're going to go to Gracias Madre. And I was like, oh, and she's like, I mean, I really want to go to Craig's, but, um, I can't get in to Craig's. And so Craig's in LA is like this paparazzi. It's like mediocre. Sorry, Craig.

This is it's mediocre. It's delicious food. I mean, the food's great. It's not mediocre. It's like the same people that did dantanas you don't eat food like this okay you can't say that okay it's delicious food amazing margaritas a lot of ice cream like so anyway wait is craigs the place that we went together yeah yes okay with norm yeah yeah okay but so since covid they had the front where we sat in the booths and then when covid happened they took their back parking lot and turned it into outdoor dining like this little wooden outdoor and now it's totally separate like if you are a regular and you end up getting an, um, reservation, they'll see you in the front. Meanwhile, Leonardo DiCaprio is coming in secretly to the back. The back patio is where it's at. Like

the back is where it's at. So, so I was like, Kelsey, we're going to take you to Craig's. And I'm like, Nate, are you in? His wife was in town from New York. He's like, yeah, I'm in. So I called Chris was there. I was like, can you get us into Craig's? Cause I can't get into Craig's and he sets it up so we're like okay let's go so we drive over there and kelsey's like so excited we're go we get there there's all the paparazzi and they're like kelsey and they're asking her all these things and we go in and we sit down we start drinking i have a question so sorry when something like this happens and she's like a last minute they're like she's like i'm going to craig's last minute do you still tip off the paparazzi or does the paparazzi know who she is there so much

of my story, it revolves around, we did not tip off of paparazzi. So she got, but she was wearing this beautiful blue outfit. And so she gets out of the big car, you know, like, so, but the paparazzi just lives there, but it was quite early. It was like 8 PM. So it wasn't like prime paparazzi time yet, you know? So I knew we go in, we start drinking margaritas. I do not remember anything after like three margaritas. We, we ate, I ate spaghetti. I know that. Um, we ate the big ice cream thing and had a, anyway. So at some point Nate decides we're going to leave and we're going to go to Delilah's. So we get ready to leave. I have no, I have no recollection of this anyway, but I got paparazzi'd like so good leaving Craig's and I looked so beautiful. I was wearing this

St. Laurent fur kind of like dress and a heel. And I have no recollection of this at all, but I guess Nate stopped on the street and was like, yo, we just wrapped the best show ever. And I was like, anyway, I look kind of drunk in some of the pictures, but like so beautiful in the other ones. Wow. So excited. I didn't have to call them. I can't believe that those pictures aren't on your Instagram. I know. Are you saying, I mean, I will someday. I just haven't had time, but I mean, I'll show them to you. She's so busy being successful. So beautiful. I was so excited about it. So I don't remember leaving. So then we went to Delilah, which I don't know what that is, but I guess it's a bar. We went in, Nate is like bottles. He was an NFL player. So he like really

knows how to party. So we're dancing, we're hanging out. And then at some point, Chris tells me that I'm screaming at him. You're boring. Oh my God. And I was like, you're so boring. You're so boring. And then I was like, I don't think you're boring. I think I, what I was trying to say is like, you're my rock, like my rock through the project, you know, not that you're boring. Solid is what you were looking for. Right. Solid. Thank you. You're boring. No, no, no. I meant you're my rock i don't remember the classic mix-up chris said that kelsey came over to him he was like she said like by the way i don't think you're boring oh poor chris i know so anyway at some point in the night i was boring i was in the fetal position on the banquet or whatever the

banquet banquet at delilah's and chris is like it's time to go and i was like it's time to go so then i'm walking out and i'm like this is my night i can wrap my show this is like two and a half years of stress is gone. Like we're done. I did it. I'm wearing a cute outfit. My hair is so beautiful. I was like, I did it. And I'm walking towards the door and I feel that feeling of like, you're going to puke. And I was like, I am a 40 year old woman who is waste. I'm an episode of the housewives. Like I was so trashy that I started throwing up while I was still inside Delilah. And then the line was like outside to get in and the bouncers. And I remember them pulling apart the red, the red like rope. And then I just barfed my spaghetti, which had not digested at all,

all over the sidewalk. Like, like I was 12. Was there a paparazzi there? No paparazzi there. God, that would have been so good. So then Chris had to take me home and I could not get out of bed. I made him take me to McDonald's in my pajamas at nine 45 on Saturday morning, full pajama, just to eat hash browns. Cause it's the only thing I could stomach. And I was so hung over and only yesterday did i start getting out of the hangover oh wow i'm never drinking again it's never happening i'm done famous last words until our tour you must be drunk you must i'm just saying like i it was it was really fun to be you know like wasted right wasted and like not give a and like it was so fun did you not have anxiety the next day about anything you did or

said because i can't get to that point or i spiral well especially in front of like people that you worked with that yeah so i wrote nate and i was like because they flew out that morning and um i was like hey i'm sorry it was so messy last night i guess like two and a half years of stress he's not a good text communicator so he just went no problem and i was like what does that mean so you agree with me i'm a mess like i didn't know what to say then i wrote his wife and she was like oh my god we were so drunk we were like trying to find the airport at six in the morning. Like we almost didn't make a flight. I'm sure everybody was drunk. Kelsey wrote me and was like, well, we definitely turned it up. I think he was excited too. That's the thing about

like situations like that. Like I'm sure everybody was close to your level and probably nobody remembers anything happening. So you're probably fine. At some point when we were at Craig's, I remember that me, I think had been yelling at Craig being like, she couldn't get in. Like this is bullshit. You need to exchange numbers. You have to let Kelsey in. And so then they exchanged numbers. But then I think Craig realized that like he hadn't been able to get Kelsey in or hadn't let her in. It felt bad. So then he started bringing shots. Oh, and I pay for them. I'm not sure. I don't know who paid the bill in either place. We took the shots. Yeah. Wow. I don't think I've ever seen you on that much alcohol. I've seen you with like a half a margarita and

you're a disaster. I had already drunk four margaritas when just Kelsey and I were sitting there ready to order dinner and then nate arrived and then like that is insane because i maybe you can handle more than you think because that's a ton of drinks yeah maybe not maybe maybe i can't handle anything virgin margaritas towards the end yeah i don't think so and then i'm like chris like at some point you should have been like hey girl like maybe stop drinking like you know and he's like i'm not i'm not telling you what to do and i was like you're right like he's scared of me you know what i mean like yeah because he's so boring you know he's so boring so boring anyway it was the best i can't wait to show you the paparazzi photos i can't i'm so bummed there

wasn't a paparazzi outside of delilah's i know i know and it's like who pukes like who pukes on the sidewalk what a fucking loser a lot of people a lot of people leaving delilah i don't even know what that is. Um, it's like a club. I did see a girl at our after party, uh, or at our Sunday party. And I was telling the story and she was like, Oh, my apartment's right there. I walk by every day and I wonder why there's so much puke on the side. Oh my God. Gross. Sick. And I was like, well, people get sloppy. Yeah. People get really sloppy. So anyway, I just needed to tell you that story. I really lived my best life. It was the best. And now I'm back to being normal and I'm back to just being a normie. We're so happy for you. Welcome back. Thank you.

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Your first wax is free. Your first wax is free. You're listening to The Lady Gang. um can i tell you two more things that i just found out that are random and then i'll go into what i had planned one thing is that i did so many treatments to get ready for this show i'm telling you like every single treatment under the sun i did like a weekly detox massage for the lymphatic drainage it really works everyone if you're going to a wedding or have an event like definitely go get a lymphatic massage but the lady there told me that if you want to poop in the morning jack

yes sleep on your left side i do that's how you get farts out yeah you don't have to curl up in a little it lines up if you if you have trapped gas yeah you lay on your left side because it's like when your intestines are most aligned or some bullshit yeah i didn't know that i've been sleeping on my right my whole life and she's like no no then it just like gets backed up yeah doesn't work for me but i'm sure it'll work for you oh no okay speaking of jack you had a tiktok the other day about having IBS and I'm going to challenge you in saying that you may be using IBS the way that Kelty was using her. Oh no, I know. I know. I know. So you don't have it. Well, no, I have like chronic constipation, which is like the opposite of IBS. Yeah. Okay. That just,

it's, it, it worked with the theme a little bit. I think chronic constipation is actually your brand and it's a very it's a it's catchy i know i'm gonna try it out i'm gonna see how it works but yeah ibs is trendy you know probably for really is and the people who actually have ibs are probably like go yourself so um okay i'll tell you one more gross body thing okay so the other thing that i did to get ready for superfan was that i did like every spa treatment so i went becca recommended that i go to pellicure pellicura it's called i think it's pronounced It's Pellicure? Pellicure.

It's in Beverly Hills. Skinny Confidential goes there. It's essentially like a very, very high-end Korean spa. Oh. And you go. They have a bunch of treatments, but the treatment that's like the piece de la resistance is you go and you're flat out naked, like full naked. There's no, like, disposable panty available. Like, you're naked on this, like, kind of feels like an insole.

It's a bed, but it has, like, an insole kind of, like, jelly vibe. and the lady, she scrubs your body and it's, she's scrubbing so much. You guys that like, you know, when you put a baby foot on your foot and the skin rolls off, my whole body was rolling off like that. Like, I don't know if they put like a skin softener or whatever, but anyway, she rubs it, rubs it. And then she washes you and she washes your hair. And then she does like a massage or whatever. And I was like, okay, I gotta like get rid of all my shame and all my flaws and like scrub myself to be like beautiful. And so I was so excited about my, my moment and I sat up and then she was like, okay, you're done. And I sat up and I hopped off the table and I looked

behind me and I'd had my period over the towel. Oh no. I'm sure that that happens a lot. But I didn't want it to happen to me. And then I was like, Oh my God, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. She's like, no, no, no, it's fine. It's fine. She's like, go to the bathroom. And I was like, Oh my god and like i guess your period yes i got so relaxed like my uterus was like ah but i was so embarrassed and then i thought these people must see this kind of shit all the time yes oh yeah but then you know like i was like i have to tell this story so that when you dear listener of lady gang go and get your period in some weird place that you're not supposed to and you feel embarrassed you don't know how to handle your vagina after 40 years 34 years of having a period just remember

that even stars like me get their period on the massage even stars like kelty who get paparazzi at craigs you know stars they're nor what was what is that they're just like us yeah they're just like us they period all over the massage table too wow you've had a roller coaster of some high highs and some low lows i know kelty what are you gonna do now that it's over like what what is the identity of kelty night i was just gonna say annoy us annoy you no we have a book we have a book coming out that's available on pre-order right now i'm gonna wear my sweat pants again i'm gonna finish my house renovation how's your kitchen coming along i'm a little disappointed that you haven't had any updates there are no updates i can't get anything i did

not do anything this month of april but may is like a hot spot i am gonna get my hot hot water maker i'm gonna get my bubble ice machine fix i'm gonna paint i'm gonna fill some holes i'm gonna hang a light i mean it's gonna be if you've missed fix her up or get ready i have nothing in my life my life is empty and i'm ready as a clam to get this shit done and then i have what happens when you're done with the house and maybe like you have a pause on a project like what happens in the empty moments so the last the last last house i did when i finished all the rooms and the renovation was over then i just started sleeping a lot and i was like i gotta get out here. And you sold it and bought another fixer upper. Yeah. I wouldn't have anything to do.

And I would just be like, I guess I'll just lay down and sleep. Like it was like very boring. Well, we have a new project. We're going to get our book made into a TV show. So Kelsey has a magic touch with that. And, um, you know, chop, chop Kelsey. You know what? I just added it to my to-do list. See, I'm sitting in front of my to-do list right now in case anything comes up while we're talking. So I'm going to add that. I'm excited about that. It's going to be great i'm ready as long as i don't have to be in it you're not gonna have to be in it all i can't wait actors now i know how to be a boss too i know i was kind of a good boss this time the last time we did this i was not a good boss only made one person cry yeah i only made one person cry but

we definitely made up and like very enjoyable now it's kind of like a rite of passage jack and i were about like we when you came and you told us that at your new show you made someone cry Jack and I knew we felt like we knew what went down and what we thought went down is not what went down. We thought that you were an insensitive dickhead and you made someone cry. That's actually not it. The person was being overly sensitive and you were sent, you were very professional. So we're proud of you. And that's just this whole episode. We're just very proud of you. Thanks guys. You need a pat on the back every once in a while. You know what? I really do. thank you and i'm accepting it because i my normal inclination is to be like oh my god no it's like

you know and then like no it's not with you you're right no i'm taking it in i'm living it i literally stood on stage and was like take it all in because you might get canceled like you may never get this again and like i told you guys like lady gang a super fan that's it lady gang this new show based on the book okay fine but like i'm not i'm not inventing anything else like i'm done i am not the late blonde lady from shark tank with 300 patents i've had two good ideas in my life both of them have come to fruition this is it like if this gets canceled or if you guys stop doing lady gang i'm going to the island like i'm out like what does happen if one of us comes to the table and says that i think about it all the time what's gonna happen i don't know it's not gonna

happen is it gonna we get should we get matching tattoos as like a promise to not i just you know i like i feel like at some point one of you is going to be like i'm good but then i'm also i don't think so i think that we we're a well-oiled machine like i think that we could literally do this until we're dead senior citizens i would really really i'm really i've been looking at property in mexico and the caribbean i really feel like my next house is not in the united states i'm gonna be an expat but i wasn't even a pat to begin because i'm okay well you're like know thyself

just get a vacation home don't go so balls to the walls like extreme you couldn't even leave LA like to move to Malibu because of work what that was when I had a job now I don't have a job I mean Chris is just

boring he's gonna come along for the ride no just get a vacation home and yeah so i can use that yeah and go back and forth when you feel like you need to retreat you go you retreat when you feel like you're ready to grind again which you're going to be you're the rest of your life we know this you go back and you grind like you know it doesn't have to be so many absolutes yeah you would hate living in mexico for a time okay there's no paparazzi

there no that's true i will text you the photos right now thank you um and we'll see you next tuesday see you next tuesday see you next tuesday thanks for listening the lady gang is produced by alex ingber steve delameter and jared monaco make sure you subscribe rate and review our podcast and if you love it share it with your friends on social media like oh my god i just listened lady gang this episode's so great swipe up to listen and if you really want to which we know you do please follow us on social at kelty at becca at jack vanek and at the lady gang sign up for our newsletter at the lady gang.com and join our secret facebook group it's super fun see you next tuesday

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