Language of Love with Dr. Laura Berman - After Death: How to Connect With Our Lost Loved Ones with Susan Grau

Episode Date: December 29, 2021

On this very special episode of “The Language of Love,” Dr. Laura Berman sits down with Susan Grau. Have you ever wondered it means to be a medium, or have you ever felt as though you have a ‘sixth sense’ or an ability to see or feel people who are no longer here? Then this episode is for you: Susan Grau is an Internationally recognized Intuitive Medium, Life Path Intuitive, Life Coach, & Hypnotherapist / Past Life Regressionist. Susan is known for bringing her genuine, benevolent, and down-to-earth style to her clients and sessions. Susan works with the spirit world using her “Clair Senses” as a means to communicate with your loved ones. She has been offering her professional and spiritual services to the public for over three decades. “You are made of light. You are good, kind, and filled with the spiritual beauty of the afterlife. Never forget where you came from. Never allow anyone to make you feel less than what you are. Always know your value. You are from the light,” says Susan. On this episode, Dr. Berman talks with Susan about the near-death experience she had when she was 4 years old. Susan says she didn’t see bright lights or the traditional light at the end of the tunnel, but she had an incredible experience in the afterlife that she shares with Dr. Berman in this thrilling episode. Dr. Berman also shares how she has been able to connect with her son Sammy and her mother after their deaths, and how she uses her deep pain as a gateway to creating these incredible channels of connection. If you have ever wondered about the afterlife or how to cope with grief or the loss of your loved ones, this is an episode that will bring you enlightenment and comfort. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hey, I'm Dr. Laura Berman, a sex and relationship therapist. And for the past three decades, I've been helping people learn how to love and be loved better. That's what we're doing here on The Language of Love, where I get to answer calls and emails from people just like you. My goal with The Language of Love is to help you discover more meaningful emotional and physical intimacy and to help you build more awareness of how precious and sacred your sexuality really is. Be sure to email me or reach out with your very own love sex relationship

questions, and I might just answer them live on the air. It's time we all become fluent in the language of love. I'm excited to share our guest this week on the language of love, Susan Graw. she is a medium and a grief worker an addiction healer she had her own near-death experience at age four and crossed to the other side and came back she's a certified addiction specialist and has been featured on lifetime and goop and hollywood reporter and much more she's actually completed her doctorate of divinity with the renowned dr raymond moody the founder of studies and near-death experiences. And I'm really excited to talk to you, Susan. I'm excited to be here. Thank you so much for having me.

Susan, thank you so much for joining us. I'm excited to talk to you because I think so many of us, I mean, we all know that I have been struggling with huge grief after having lost my son, but I really think everyone in the world right now is grieving in one form or another after the couple of years we've had. And like sex, grief is something that absolutely every person on the planet can relate to. We can't all relate to relationships necessarily. We can't all relate to parenting or other issues, but grief is a common denominator among all of us. And I know that you've had a lot of training in that and that you do a lot of grief work, but you're also a medium. I want to hear about your history. I read that you had a near-death experience at

around age four. And that is when the mediumship started for you. And I've heard that actually, I've met a good friend of mine is Anita Morjani. She's been on the show before and she had a near death experience in adulthood. And the same thing kind of opened up for her after her near death experience. It's really interesting to me how that seems to open huge channels. Although I don't know, maybe your channels were open before that. I don't know. Do you remember at age four? I remember age three, we had some land. And I remember we had some kittens that didn't survive. We had a lot of kittens that were born and that I saw them floating, and everybody was crying and carrying them away. And they were floating all around me. And I don't remember thinking anything. At the time, it was just normal for me. So I had no thought. And then at four years old, I was playing with some boys. And they said, if I wanted to play tent with them, I should climb in the freezer and get popsicles. Unfortunately, the freezer wasn't plugged in. But as a four-year-old, I wasn't aware of that.

So I climbed up in the freezer, face in, and they closed the freezer door. They closed the garage door and they ran home. The garage was detached from our home. And we had a yard in between that and a workroom in between that. So my mom was in the back of the house. She heard you babies in the freezer and she didn't respond. She heard that in her head? Oh, my God.

Because like I was going to say, how would anyone think to look in a detached garage in a freezer when their baby's supposed to be out playing with her big brother? And they were older, but they didn't know, you know, what they were doing. Unfortunately, she didn't follow what she heard. And so I was in the freezer a very long time. And the fact that it wasn't plugged in meant no oxygen. And I remember screaming. I was terrified.

And I just kept screaming. and then I remember seeing white lights and hearing stop screaming we're going to get your mommy and you're going to be okay and for some reason it just settled my soul and I don't remember being lifted out of my body and looking back at my body I don't remember that some people just don't and I studied under Dr. Raymond Moody so this is really interesting to hear other people's story and to see that others felt the way I felt because we always read about the big shebang and the bright light and going through the tunnel and, and all of that. What happened to me is in a moment flash, I was standing at the bottom of these stairs. And there was a room that

was it was like an oxymoron Greek Roman room. And it had pillars and an open ceiling and then an open floor. And I remember seeing words moving, like I would say DNA today as an adult, but moving around in a circle, like just together mixing together. And I asked, Where am I? And I remember looking over at these three lights, I believe they were angels, and they come as we understand them. So I understood angels. And I remember saying, where am I? And they said, you're in the room of heart's desires. That's a good room to be in. Yeah. And I said, do you answer all those? And they, you know, I was precocious, I was four and a half. And they said, no, Susie, sometimes what people desire the most isn't good for them.

And they proceeded to show me this path. And it was what I called the yellow brick road, because Wizard of Oz and made sense to me. And I don't remember it being completely in color, but I remember going in and out of this brightness, more than color, brightness, but I knew it was yellow. I just knew it. And there were pillars on this golden path. And those pillars were like pyramids

and they were pavers going up these pyramids. And for some reason I knew that it was people's life journey, which at the time didn't make any sense to me, but I knew it in my head. And so I kept it. And I saw people paving their path. And they were crying. And they were on their knees saying, for the love of God, help me, please help me. I can't do this anymore. There were a lot of different energies. As you look back on this, obviously, you didn't understand all this when you were four years old. How do you interpret that? These were people that were praying in

3D in our regular life. They were people who were in a lot of pain and in a lot of need that you were seeing? It was grief and fear, which are a combination. I'm thinking this was a lesson for me, something I was supposed to learn. And then I watched these three lights, these beautiful angels come in and they started removing these pavers and they put them back. Well, the people had pulled from the bottom of this pyramid. And what happens when you pull from the bottom of a pyramid? It becomes unbalanced. So I knew that. I knew that their life journey was not balanced. And I watched them come in and put these pavers back and go to the top of this pyramid pull from it and it would recreate the pavers and then they started paving

this path and I said what are you doing and they said we are the pavers you are not all you have to do is walk it and I didn't really know what they meant and I said well how do I know if I'm walking right you know and I was all you know I was kind of nervous and it was a very child experience it was not an adult experience in the afterlife for me very child and they said we will bless it or block it and if we block it make no mistake you will get through it battered and bruised at best or you will shift and if you shift and there's another block shift again and if there's another block shift again until you see us and we'll be paving your path i didn't really know what they meant but i heard them and i've never forgotten those words i know what they mean

now what do they mean um we have free will and free will makes us hit the wall right but they are there to pave our path and they are in control of the outcome. We are not. And to let go of that control is the hardest part of what we do because our fear, our grief, our shame, whatever it is we're dealing with, steps in to keep us wanting to be in control. But at the end of the day, they have it. I'm just really curious about your mom's perspective on all of this. So what ended up happening with you in the freezer? She ignored the voice at first. She ignored the voice. And she said about an hour and a half later, I was telling her, mommy, I'm in the freezer. Mommy, I'm in the freezer. It's how I learned to communicate with

the afterlife to hear. It's really interesting now. I didn't know it then, but now I understand it. And she heard your baby really loud and intensely is in the freezer. And I said, mommy, and I was saying, I'm in the freezer. She heard you. She said she did. And she went out and she opened up the freezer door. She said when she spun me around. I was ashen and there were no cell phones at the time. So my mother screamed and started to run to get help. And I fell and I actually cracked open my jaw. I still have my scar and I took a breath. So it wasn't meant to be gone, obviously. But an hour and a half with no oxygen. I mean, how long had you probably been dead? I mean, a long time. The fact that you still

had your brain cells and that you didn't even need CPR to come back to life is pretty astounding. It's the afterlife. I still believe that I wasn't meant to go. But my mother, foolishly, when she patched me up and she put me to bed, my sister told me, I don't remember that part. And she just put me to bed because she was supposed to turn the freezer like all parents were told to do and put the bolts on it, the chains. She didn't do it. And she was afraid that my father would be mad. In those days, you didn't park in your garage. It was a rarity. You had all your stuff in your garage. And she was so frightened that she put me to bed. And when I came back to me, I had these bandages, but I looked up and I could see spirits. They were

looking in my windows under my bed in the corner of the room down the hallway. I was terrified. Not to say that sounds pretty scary. Very scary. And I didn't even know what it was. I didn't understand. I've heard that from a lot of people who see that, especially when it started when they were young. They couldn't always tell what was human and what was spirits because they look kind of the same to them. They do. And, you know, the eyes really look the same. It's interesting. And they peek through. And, you know, we have bodies there. We're not we're just our perfect self, the most perfect selves you can imagine. And I saw a lot while I was there. So I could see that I saw the angels and I saw them singing and

words and music came out at the same time. It was phenomenal. They'd open their mouths, what I consider to be mouths and out it would come. And it was just the most beautiful colors, the most beautiful energy. It's not describable. You cannot find words here to describe it. And then here you are, you know, in the trauma of life. Right. Back in your body. I've heard that from a lot of people, too, that it's not as pleasant in our bodies as it is in the oneness. I mean, that must have been difficult. I have a couple of friends who see things and they will often say that their childhoods weren't that easy because, you know, they'd be on the playground and being like, hey, your grandfather is telling me to tell you such and such. And the kid was like, well, my grandfather died two years ago. You're crazy. How was it growing up? i did not fit in fact all the kids that grew up with me tell me now we thought something was wrong with you we didn't understand i was a little bit more reclusive i got a little more shy i didn't feel comfortable in my skin like i was trying to find my way to something and i didn't know what

and i remember telling some kids in the middle of playing that their grandma wanted to play and they got mad at me and they said it's so mean my grandma's dead and they actually beat me up And my mom said to me, don't ever talk about it again. My mother had this gift and they actually put her in a like an insane asylum for about a month. And my father got her out, terrorized her. from then on, she was like, don't say a word. And you probably inherited the gifts from her. It goes through our line. And so what do you think the purpose is of your experience? Because I do find that almost everyone I talk to who's had a near-death experience and comes back, the near-death experience was kind of supposed to happen to activate things in them. I think I understand that now and throughout my adulthood. I'm older now, so I get that. But when

I was young, I didn't see that at all. All I saw was I didn't fit in here and I didn't know why I was here until this day. I say, I don't like the world is hard for me. I'm very empathic and I feel everything and it's really rough, but I think the purpose of the experience for me was to help others. So having said that I have two brothers and a mother who committed suicide. Oh, I'm so sorry. Oh, thank you. I'm a better person because of it, not in spite of it. That experience and how it got me through those experiences. And addiction was involved in that. And so I feel that as my life journey is gone, I recognize that I was meant to help others. And in order to do so, I needed to have specific gifts to do that. And we all can help with grief and all those things

because we learn about it here. But to experience those things, to experience the afterlife, etc., changes it because grief is such an animal of its own. It drops you to your knees. It takes control and it decides when it's done with you. I just want to ask this question and I do want to get into some of the mediumship and some of the gifts you have for sure. But I'm just being called to ask you this because I feel like someone listening, probably many someone's listening, either has a child who sees things, anything from imaginary friends to angels to ancestors to loved ones whatever and more often than not they are ostracized they're misunderstood they're misdiagnosed with some sort of psychotic something or another what would have made it easier for you

as a child trying to integrate all of these gifts and all of the fear it must have brought and the confusion for that little brain and body that you were holding all of that looking back on it what kind of advice can you give parents who are seeing some of this in their children other than saying don't talk to anyone about it that was probably not the best thing for her to say yeah which is what i hear from everyone they're like you know because you don't get a good response no my mother got locked up you do not get a good response and she didn't understand i think that nowadays it's very different in our childhood or my childhood i know that uh parents didn't even understand it at all. Fortunately for the world, they're beginning to shift and understand that this is a reality of

our journey. And many, many people have had at least one experience, even if it's just they're in a room with someone who's died, and they feel part of them leaving, which Dr. Moody talks about. I really believe that if parents were to sit around with their children, like a roundtable with them, if they were having those experiences, and explaining to them that life is not the end, it's the beginning to get us to a new place. Each life, each journey is a beginning for each individual. So I think if they could explain that in some childlike way, and I work with children who have NDEs, and I've worked with adults, and some of them can see and some of them can't. They are so frightened that when you talk about the empathic energy and their intuition and their

ability to see this, and instead of calling it a gift, I call it part of the human being that we are and the senses that we carry. So when we make sense of their senses by sharing with them, it tends to change that journey for them. I think what's most damaging, because it's not like most parents are going to be experts at guiding their kids through navigating this, but I think the place that a lot of parents go when they see, and my parents did the same thing. In fact, I didn't even remember. I mentioned it to my, it was a really weird experience I had with my dad just about five years ago, where I said to him, I had this experience where I saw all these little fairy, or I was telling someone about how I had had this experience of seeing all these

fairies around. He's like, oh, you told her about the fairies? And I said, what do you mean? He said, you saw fairies all the time when you were little. And they would make fun of me. And I do remember seeing things that, quote unquote, weren't there. And I was always scared. And it would usually happen at night when everything was quiet and I was in my room and I was scared to death to go to sleep. And my parents would either get angry at me or make fun of me. And then I would also leave my body and fly. And then I would try to tell people about how I'd flown and they would like make fun of me and tell me that it wasn't real. And I remember writing myself a note saying, I really can fly and hiding it behind the refrigerator. And when we were

moving a few years later, my sister found it and they made so much fun of me. And then I just sort of shut it all down until probably five years ago when it started opening back up. But I do believe that we all have these gifts. And through our family line and through other things, they are more naturally apparent to us. And then many of us have life experiences, probably preordained, who the hell knows, that crack those open and allow them to come to the surface. exactly and also you have to work the muscle to open that pathway so if you are open to it as children we get shut down right so that muscle kind of closes up it's like it's atrophy of some sort right and as when we get older and we're not afraid we start working that muscle and working

that muscle before you know it that pathway is opening scientifically they study the the area of the brain with mediums and they can see that they use a different part of their brain which I consider to be that pathway. So it's a matter of working it and trusting it. Trust is everything when it comes to this work. The difference between me and maybe someone else is when I hear something, I say it, they hold it back, they push it out, they get rid of it. So yes, we all have the ability in some form. Some people aren't meant to use it in this lifetime, and some people are, and that's also the difference. So they didn't contract to use it in this lifetime. I do want to, if we have time, I want to get into some of your thoughts

on how we can cultivate that muscle. We'll definitely talk about that if you do want to strengthen your muscle. We're talking to Susan Grah, who is a medium. She had a near-death experience. She does grief work, does a lot of mediumship. You were saying before we started, I wanted to hear this story too because we didn't get into it, but before we started taping, you were saying that we have met before, which I don't remember. We met on radio. Through the radio, I called you and I was going through some difficulties with my marriage, trying to find a way to rekindle the love and just find, you know, that center again. And we had had some issues that occurred and you really walked me through them, actually. And you were very blunt. I did? Yes. You were very blunt, but very kind and very honest. And I love that because that's what I am.

new from Nespresso blend wellness into your coffee routine with the coffee plus range infused with functional benefits choose the coffee you love with added b vitamins like coffee plus b12 to help support immune function and coffee plus b6 to keep your day moving or go with the flow and choose ginseng delight our new double espresso with ginseng extract whatever lies ahead don't change your morning let your morning change you discover coffee plus on nespresso.com and you spoke the truth to me and you said these are the things I believe are going on and this is what you need to be addressing and I did and my marriage is still 34 years later well I didn't talk to you 34 years ago but I am married 34 years but it was amazing and you helped

me so much I have so much respect for you and what you do that's so nice to hear I mean I don't often people will call back and say hey I took your advice and it worked but I love hearing when And my advice or my guidance helps because like you, that's what I'm here for. Yeah, you're a true healer. And that's what the difference between maybe someone else who's narcissism or whatever out there, you know, they're not healers where the empathic energy is very much a healer. But you truly helped me heal my marriage just in that five minutes of talking. That makes me really happy.

Well, maybe you can help me heal a little bit. As my friends here know, I often use myself as a guinea pig to show. to show with guests how things work. And I've lost a lot of people, not just my beloved Sammy less than a year ago, but also my mom, my dad, my grandmothers, my grand everyone's gone and my Sasa, who was, you know, sort of my spirit mother. So you want to do a little mediumship with me? Sure. How does it work? It just is there. So before I got on the line, I heard your son. Oh, you did? And I did. I'm very, very careful not to check anything out. And so when my publicist said she lost a son. I said, I want nothing more. Tell me nothing just in case he wants to come and

talk to her. He told me what happened. I don't know if he had issues previously, but I feel like he was experimenting possibly. He told me that he was, I thought he said he was in his bed or near his bed. He told me that he made a mistake. He made a choice that he normally wouldn't have made. And he was really, really sad that he made that choice, but he was happy where he was. I said, okay. I said, I'm going to be talking to your mom. He gave me a lot of insight into the experience you've had and what he had. He wants you to know, first and foremost, that he was picked up by the family. Your father is charming. Your father has this charming energy. I don't know how to describe it any other way. He's a very charming bastard, at least in this

life i'm sure the bastard part is gone he was very charming though a little bit uh maybe uh self-centered maybe a little bit narcissistic a little bit just a little yeah but that's that charm right yeah and um but he did show up for your son and he picked him up and so i want you to know that was my first feeling and then i saw family around him i asked him if he suffered or he was aware. And he said, absolutely not. I didn't know anything. I just went to sleep, basically. And he told me that he didn't even know he wasn't breathing. So I'm not sure what happened to his lungs. But he was telling me that he told me that you're the best mom ever loved going on trips with you guys and spending time with you. He also was talking about a

bracelet somewhere. So I don't know what that means for you. But he was talking about a bracelet somewhere. So I don't know if he had one or if he gave one to someone, it felt like it was a bracelet. So keep that, you know, you never know what will show up. If you don't understand it, always keep everything. He told me that he wanted you to know that he was okay. And that you know that some days and some days you don't. And I said, that's really funny. That's great. But he is good. And he is with all the people that you were talking about. He's very centered in his journey now and he understands it differently this was not something that he did all the time by the way i don't know if you're aware of that he was not looking seeking drugs all the time

that's not what happened no he wasn't i know yeah he told me he said he was just trying it and somebody had told him about it and i don't know how he found the drug but i know it was something phone electronic computer something along those lines because he kind of popped that in front of me. But what he did say is that he hadn't done that a bunch of times and that this was an experiment and he had no idea. I knew there was either catamine or fentanyl, something along those lines were in something he did, but he didn't know it was there. And he just wants you to know he's sorry, but also he wants you to know that he's happy and he's at peace. And this was a kid that was very outgoing, loved to be with his friends. And he showed me lots of friends and he

said he felt very closed up. Maybe it was the COVID, you know, everything was kind of closed up for him. And he said that he wanted to just have a little fun. He was actually going to call a friend or call the friend to let them know. And I don't know how far that went after that. But he was a good kid. Everything about him was positive. And he said he made this one big mistake. And he said he experimented before that he did tell me that. And so I don't know if you're aware of that. But I wanted you to know that. And he said, but it wasn't like that. That was just little experiments. But this was different. And he just is so happy. And he's so at peace. And I really think he wants you to know that he also telling me loves to send you birds. Birds are

really important for his journey with you. So I want you to remember that they won't be birds that you just see and go, Oh, there's a bird, it will be Oh, my gosh, that bird is acting strange. It's tapping on my window it's spinning around my head it's you know he loves to send that and he also talks about i saw a lizard doing this and so i just had to push that that's so weird susan because last night i was in my youngest son's room and he has a bearded lizard or a bearded dragon i should no yeah a bearded dragon and i was like is he eating what is he doing he's like no he doesn't have any food in there and he was doing that he was like doing this little dance I was like what is he doing yeah your son just showed me that so that's his little message for you that this isn't

just that this is real he wants you to know it's really him talking and he just showed me that and I thought what the heck is that and I could see this lizard doing this you know bouncing yeah he's doing this kind of shoulder shrug thing that is funny all right well now whenever I see that I'll know that he's given me a little tap because I do feel him inside me sometimes, but I don't really feel him around me. But when you see those things, it means he's standing beside you. So just acknowledge him and let him know. It's kind of like the child that comes up and pulls on a mother's leg over and over

and over and says, mommy, mommy, mommy. And she's looking at the TV or she's not paying attention. And finally, the child gives up and walks away. And then the mom goes, whoops, and goes and says, what did you want? And they say, never mind. So you want to make sure you're always acknowledging your loved ones everywhere you go when you think of them, when you feel them, when you experience them, so that they know their efforts work and they stop trying to find a million ways. Yeah, I do tell him when I feel him or I'll sing with him or whatever. You know, I do. I do talk to him, especially when I'm alone. He was taking something to basically to a girl had told him about to impress her. And he met a drug dealer on Snapchat who found him.

And so they were counterfeit drugs that he took that were laced with fentanyl. And he did pretty much pure fentanyl. And he did stop breathing because it stops your heart. So that's what happened. You know, he's telling me that he wouldn't have done it if he didn't want to impress someone, that he wouldn't have taken that risk. And he wasn't afraid because he didn't know. I feel like he was just trying to be social and kind of cool.

He wanted to be cool. And he was really shut down and really stuck because we wouldn't let him do drugs. And a lot of the kids that he hung out with were doing drugs. They didn't really want to hang out with him. I mean, this is who this kid was like he would beg us, please just be like, let me smoke pot. Because if I don't do that, none of these kids want to hang out with me and I have no friends. And I was like, I'm not going to be the parent that is going to let you smoke pot to hang out with assholes who will only be your friend if you smoke pot. Like we got to find you other friends. And he wasn't really open to joining any clubs or organizations or doing anything That would allow him to broaden his social circle He was really stuck and we were really stuck with him in some way. I still stand by that decision I mean I have girlfriends and fellow mothers who do cave on this issue of oh, yeah I drank when I was a kid. I did that stuff, you know, as long as he does it at home it's okay or whatever, or it's someone else's home. I have too much addiction in my family.

And I wasn't, not that, I mean, I know cannabis is emotionally addicting, but I just was not okay being okay with that. And it was hard not to, because I knew he was suffering emotionally and socially and he found his own way around it and made a dumb ass mistake for sure, which I had just recently read has killed as many people or more people than died in the Vietnam war fentanyl poisoning wow yeah it's a big deal his name was sammy you said yeah he was named after people he's telling me and he wants to send his father love he says send my dad love tell my dad i know this is hard but i'm with him he wants him to know that and then who is jake or jack jackson is my other son his brother one of his brothers one i'm not hearing the other brother's

name, but I am hearing Jackson. So I feel like maybe he's struggling, not understanding what's going on here more so than maybe your other child isn't quite getting it completely. And he's telling me that you tell him I'm okay and I'm around him and he better behave because I'll be watching him. I'll tell him. I mean, he's the one that just doesn't want to talk about it and doesn't want to deal with it. So he got a lot of trauma support quick early on in part because he was the one that first found his brother, but he really doesn't want to go there very often. And neither does my husband. I'm the one that talks about it, thinks about it, is open about it. The two of them kind of, and typical, I mean, a lot of men are like that, I think, not all men,

but they just don't like feeling the tough stuff. So they tend to compartmentalize it, I think, more than anything. I don't see anything worse than a child being lost. There's a lot of lost, but that's the worst I see. And he's telling him that he's coming in his dreams and that if he can just talk to you and push through it a little bit, he'll be able to see him. So that's important information. Okay. So to pay attention to his dreams. Tell him nothing's worth it. And he's like, dude, don't do anything, you know, and nothing's worth it. And he's always going to be there. Now, who just had a birthday or is getting ready to have one? Because he is acknowledging a birthday from someone. That was my oldest. Ethan just had one, his older brother. He's

acknowledging that to me right now. I put a balloon up in the air and that's my sign for birthday. So he wants to say happy birthday to Ethan. Love you, mom. Love him. I love you, Sammy. I know he's around. I don't have, and I think you're right that the grief, I have to sort of move through more of that first because I don't really have a direct line of communication with him in the way that I would like to. Like with my mom or Sasa, who I was talking about, I can hear their voice. It's sort of like a conversation, but that hasn't really started with Sammy. And I do know that just from all the people I've known who have had experiences like yours and come back to talk about it, that where he is now energetically is beautiful and he's having a

lot of fun with it. I can imagine. It is amazing. You think it, you can do it. you know it's just uh the love is it permeates every part of your being it's there's no more pain new from nespresso blend wellness into your coffee routine with the coffee plus range infused with functional benefits choose the coffee you love with added b vitamins like coffee plus b12 to help support immune function and coffee plus b6 to keep your day moving or go with the flow and choose ginseng delight our new double espresso with ginseng extract whatever lies ahead don't change your morning let your morning change you discover coffee plus on espresso.com when they come here to talk to us they're dropping their vibration and so they do feel so that you recognize

them they're going to give us the story of sad that this happened and this is what happened and it was scary or whatever that he wasn't frightened but whatever that is for them but that's so you recognize them that's the evidence part but when they start to talk about their peace and their love when they're on that vibration it's a completely different emotion and feeling which is always love joy happiness and all of those other things mediumship is in grief it's like the more you grieve and i see this with parents all the time they might see them for a moment or hear them once or twice or just know they're there but it's almost like a sheet right and the veil is just our limiting beliefs but when we're in grief it's a veil and then as we move through that

grief and of course parents never finish the totality of grieving over their children never but as they move through that that veil becomes a cheesecloth or a sheer and so on and so he will be there for you when that happens because you're acknowledging him now with that you know with that harsh you know block yeah no i totally acknowledge i totally acknowledge him and dance with him and I'm also aware that the times, and I believe this, that they're vibrating at such a higher frequency than we are that it's hard to come down to this frequency. I do feel him most when I'm in a higher energetic place. I don't mean busy energetic. I mean, emotionally, I'm in a higher place. If I'm dancing or moving or in love, in a place of love and joy energetically in my body,

then I can really your vibrations rising you know mediums have to be careful with their vibration because we rise up and they come down I'm sure they come down a lot more than we rise you know I believe that fully but we have to rise our vibration and and when we do that you know we're dumping into our kidneys you know the adrenaline and you know we have to be careful not to overdo too and it's the same thing for you you know allow those beautiful energetic things to happen like laughter and dancing and and all those things that raise our vibration on this planet also send a message to them that we're raising our vibration and then they come down much further than we go up and then they connect with us and so yes you're right that's exactly how we do and

people ask me how do i get in touch with my loved one and so how do you raise your vibration can you just do it by feeling it it just automatically happens yeah what i do is i tell spirit show up suit up and we're ready to go. You know, people are coming in now. And so I need you to show up, suit up and let's do this. And so then I sit in my chair and something shifts in me. Everything that's going on in my life, because I'm a human, things go on all the time. Everything that goes on in my life kind of leaves me. And I'm just centered into that person. And I'm speaking to their soul. I'm walking into their soul. And that's where the healing is. It's not just about giving them messages from their loved ones. We are souls. And so I don't know how, but I'm able

to step into that grief area and talk to their soul and help them move through, even if it's a moment of pain, it helps. And so I'm helping them move through that. But I always tell my students, because I teach metaphysics, the metaphysical arts, I say to them, you're not talking to a human being you reach into their soul you need it's kind of like you go and move in almost like a hydraulic thing and you're in and I say you want to get into that soul because that's where the truth is that's where the pain lies that's where the love lies every emotion so that's where you want to be and so my students when they're in their head they can't get there and I tell them what do you do in your head you know that's why you don't have to close your eyes to speak the

spirit. That's ridiculous. That puts you up here in your head. You want to be front and center with spirit. Let's talk about that because it's great that you offer classes and I'm sure people will give your website and everything. But for your average person who just wants to strengthen that metaphysical muscle, what would you recommend? Well, if you're not going to go to classes, what I tell people, of course, we never approach anyone. When we need to know if we're right, we're in our ego. The last thing we want to be when we're doing spiritual work is being in our ego. So you have to let go of right and wrong. So you can go to a grocery store and see someone way across the store. And you can ask yourself, who's with them? What's happened in their life?

What kind of feelings are they having? Are they emotional? Are they happy? What's going on in their world? Always who's around them. And then allow yourself to trust that don't worry whether you're right or wrong, that's ego. But what you're saying to spirit is, I'm working the muscle. So if I handed you a can of green beans that weighed a pound, or a weight that weighed a pound, and you lifted them the same way with your arms, you would build that muscle the same way. It doesn't matter that the can of beans was not correct. So it's just a matter of never approaching anyone that's TV. Okay, we don't walk up to people randomly and tell them we see someone. Oh, it's so tempting sometimes when I I'm learning when I see something or I was on the beach not

long. I mean, this was before Sammy died, but I saw this woman walking on the beach and I was like, oh my gosh, her brother really needs her to call him. And I so badly wanted to tell her and it was coming through so strongly. And that doesn't usually happen to me, but I felt like I really shouldn't go up to this random stranger and tell her about her brother. Yeah, no, I don't. I don't do that. But what I do know is spirit will get the message to them from someone and I don't have to be the only conduit to that. That's a good point. Yeah. My ego is like, nope, I'm the only one that knows this. Me too. I do that sometimes too, but I know better. That's a good point. So it's really just about being open to it and listening to it and responding to it, not necessarily by telling

someone what you saw about them, but if you get your own message to do something or to act on something or your intuition is telling you something to listen to that, I guess, and to really, so that you're giving, like you were saying about Sammy's messages, that you're giving the message to spirit, to your higher self, to your God self, to your loved ones, that you're open and hearing them, that it's not futile. Yes. I try to tell my students also that you're delivering the message, don't open it because our stories are ours. So I might see a train track and I might think it means that they went on a train together when it might've meant that their brother used to run around across the train track. So we want to make sure we're not expanding on our own

understanding of the story. So you give the message, and you don't open that message, you just let it be what it is, and you trust it. And the more you do that, the more you'll like a striking lizard. Yeah, yeah, that made no sense to me at all. I think I've heard that one time, like years ago, somebody said that to me. And I went, Oh, okay, I didn't know what they meant but I saw it see so I got a visual and I heard him say push-ups and so I saw that lizards and so I say that right or wrong it's the same thing with the bracelet there's something about a bracelet I don't know if you're going to find it I don't know what the bracelet is I don't know what that is it could have come from another loved one that you collected a bracelet from them and

he's telling you who he's with it has meaning it's just a matter of when we find that meaning and a bracelet's kind of you know vague right and i know that but i had to say it because there's something about it that's important for me well i'll keep my eyes open for something interesting about a bracelet maybe you'll see someone wearing a bracelet that says sammy i you know it could be anything so just keep that in mind yeah well so if people want to learn more about susan grah and her classes and any other information as i was saying she's been featured on lifetime Hollywood reporter. So you can go to SusanGraw.com. Susan, S-U-S-A-N-G-R-A-U.com. Are you on social media? Can they follow you there too? I am. I'm on Instagram, Facebook, and TikTok,

medium Susan Graw. Thank you so much for joining us. Well, let me just ask you before we close, is there anything else that you think is important to say or share? I think I want people to understand that you will be with your loved one again. They haven't left you. They are with you and they are helping in some way. You know, if they could guide us completely, obviously they control our lives because they want everything good for us. So they can't do that. They have guides for that, but they are there to help walk us through things and they're not gone. I know they are physically and that's the pain, right? We can't tangibly feel them, but know that they are with you and watch for those signs.

I will. I'm going to watch for birdies. I always see butterflies. I think that's him, but maybe birdies are too. Butterflies felt like it was your spirit mom. Oh, butterflies are my spirit mom? Oh, that makes sense because I see a lot of butterflies. Yeah. You have for a long time, even when Sammy was here. Yeah. Yeah, I did. One other question. What would you say is the most important lesson that you have learned or that you just want to share about love? A couple things. One is, I think you taught me, love is a choice. And for some reason, you said that to me, I believe, and it stuck with me at some point when we were talking,

or it's what I heard. And it elicits emotions, but it is a choice. I get up every day and decide to love that person who's throwing up or that person that's balding or that, you know, getting a potbelly. I choose love. And it elicits those amazing emotions. And also, I think my losses, I think losing my family members with disease and having it rampant in my family and suicide, I can get through that loss because I loved them. And that love prevails the loss. Love exceeds the loss. Yeah, it never dies. So those are the two things that I've learned on my journey. I can choose it. When people kill themselves, we want to push love away and be angry at them. And that's okay. But at some point, we recognize that the love is what

keeps us connected to them. I believe that mediumship and love is divine to our soul and to them, that connection. And so it's important that we come back to that place. Love. Always come back to love. Thank you. You're welcome. Thank you for having me. Yeah, that was great. I'll see you next time on the Language of Love. about you and my lips are craving for

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