Language of Love with Dr. Laura Berman - Discover the Magic That Rekindles Passion

Episode Date: June 25, 2025

Are you looking for more ways to spice things up in the bedroom? We’ve all heard the usual—lingerie, toys, candlelit date nights, maybe even a threesome. But have you ever wondered if the real magic has been there all along, just waiting for you to try? What if feeling more, instead of doing more, is what really lights the fire? Curious to find out?  In this special Language of Love Bite, I dive into something that’s not just my newest obsession—it’s the subject of my brand-new book: Sex Magic. The truth is, the pandemic—and everything that came after it—opened my eyes. I started seeing more and more people, whether in monogamous or non-monogamous relationships, desperately looking for ways to spice things up. And while the desire was valid, the strategies? Often risky. I heard from couples exploring threesomes, opening their relationships, chasing novelty in ways that were threatening the very foundations of their connection. But what if I told you that there are powerful, beautiful, time-tested ways to bring that spark back—and they’ve been around for thousands of years? That’s where Sex Magic comes in. In this episode, I share: Why traditional advice on “spicing it up” only goes so far What the ancient traditions of Tantra, Taoism, and Kundalini can teach us about modern intimacy How to move sexual energy through your whole body—and even beyond A ritual you can use to manifest your desires during orgasm (yes, really) How sex magic can create emotional intimacy, spiritual connection, and even…miracles Whether you're solo or partnered, curious or all-in, this episode is your invitation to explore a whole new dimension of pleasure, connection, and personal power. Want to take it further? When you grab your copy of Sex Magic, you’ll also receive bonus tools: My Quantum Sex web course A beautiful Sex Magic Ritual Journal A live initiation replay to help you get started Visit drlauraberman.com/sexmagic to learn more.  And if you try these practices or manifest something juicy, I want to hear from you! Email me at [e-mail]—your story might inspire someone else to claim their magic. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hey, I'm sex, love, and relationship therapist, Dr. Laura Berman, and for the last 30 years, I've been helping people just like you learn to love and be loved better. Welcome to the Language of Love Bites, where I tackle your most asked questions and requested topics. These episodes are designed to be fun, quick, and to the point. It's time we all become fluent in the language of love. Hey, welcome to the Language of Love. This is a very special Language of Love note. I'm really excited about this one because it's all about one of my favorite things to teach. In fact,

I have a brand new book that just came out about it called Sex Magic. Now, here's what's cool about Sex Magic. I didn't think I had another book in me. I've written nine books about love, sex, and relationships, I really thought if I wrote another book, it would be on a different topic. I thought I'd said everything I ever needed to say about sex. And then the pandemic happened and I saw the shrapnel in relationships, in sexual connections, in discord kick into gear. And I've been asked so many times the same question I've been asked in my 30-year career, The number one question I get asked is, how do you spice it up in a long-term relationship? And I have written nine books full of tips, tools, toys, role plays, fantasies, things you can do,

all different ways, all different approaches to keeping your sexual connection strong and spicing it up. But what I started to see and became really abundantly clear, especially post-pandemic And hint, we'll get into this in a second, but I think Pornhub had something to do with this. But what I started to see is that people were looking for spice in all the wrong places, in my opinion. If you're in a monogamous relationship, let's just face it, you move from what's called the infatuation stage when the relationship is brand new and you can't get enough of each other and everything is exciting and you can't keep your hands off each other. anywhere from three months to three years that last, depending on how much time you spend together and how quickly you become committed. And then you move into the attachment phase. That's a deeper, more sustainable form of love and intimacy and connection. But what I've seen happening for my entire 30-year career, but definitely on steroids in recent years, is that people are deciding that

they must have fallen out of love or their relationship is doomed. So what are they doing? They're wanting to open the relationship. Let's have a threesome. Let's start doing what we're seeing in porn. Let's try to kick in literally without even realizing we're doing it. We're trying to enhance the dopamine production in our brains. That's the part of the brain that is lit up like crazy when you're in the infatuation stage. It's the same part of the brain that's responsible for addiction. It's the same part of the brain that lights up when you're doing cocaine. But that's what we're trying to create and recreate in a long-term relationship. So we're trying to put the relationship at risk.

We're trying to bring in novelty. I could give you all the tips, tools, toys, fantasies in the world, and then you'll be back to me asking for more once those have become familiar. So I started to really ask myself, especially post-pandemic, as I started to see more and more people and couples turn to behaviors and strategies that really started putting their relationships at risk. Threesomes, open relationships, non-monogamy, nothing wrong with any of that if that's what you both agreed to and you believe you can love more than one person and you want to open your relationship, more power to you. But you have to be so mature, so clean in your

communication, so securing yourself. There are very, very few people I have met and I have met and talked to many people about their sex lives. Very few of them can pull this off. Okay. What's happening instead is in a misguided attempt to create spice, to get that dopamine hit. People are doing these things that destroy their relationships. And so I wanted to understand, what are you really looking for? And this is what leads to sex magic. What are you really looking for when you say, if your relationship were totally spiced up and you had all the spice in the world, how would you feel? Because you know me, everything we want, I'm always telling you this, everything we want comes back to a way we want to feel. So how do you want to feel?

I got all different versions back, but one thing was consistent. The reason I want spice in my relationship, the reason I want to spice it up, the reason I want that excitement is because I want to feel intensity. I want to feel that excited intensity or intense excitement in my sexual connection to my partner. So then when I understood that, I was like, oh, well, I can teach you how to do that. In fact, the secret to teaching you how to create intense excitement in your relationship has been around for millennia. It is found in ancient teachings of Tantra, Kundalini, Kama Sutra. It's Taoism. It's these ancient techniques that teach you to tap in and tune in to the energetics of sex and sexual arousal between you. And what happens when you do this,

And I teach you in sex magic very specifically how to do this is that you learn, first and foremost, how to build more desire in your system energetically, how to pull for most of us sexual arousal when we have sexual sensations or arousal, tingling, warmth, pleasant, arousing, beautiful feelings that are localized to the genital region. Right. Hey, it's Dr. Laura Berman. I've been a sex, love, and relationship therapist for over 30 years, and the main question I always get asked is, how the heck do we spice it up in a long-term monogamous relationship? Well, if you want to take your love life, your sex life to the next level, whether you're in a relationship or not, check out my free course on quantum sex. It's going to teach you how to take your sexual response to the next level capable of full body orgasms, how to use sex magic to

manifest your dreams and how to connect on an even deeper level sexually with your partner. Just go to Dr. Laura Berman dot com and you'll find it right there on the home page. The quantum sex free course. Check it out. Let me know what you think. Well, with sex magic, you learn how to pull that sensation through your entire body, even sending it out the top of your head. You learn how to circle it between the two of you. You learn how to build it and enhance it and accentuate it. So you're not just having an orgasm, you're having a full body explosive orgasm. It is a profound connection as well. The couples that I teach sex magic to find that they have deeper levels of emotional intimacy, deeper levels of safety and vulnerability.

They feel a deep soulful connection. It is so profound and intimate. And by the way, with 90% of these exercises, they can be done alone. And in fact, I encourage people to first do them alone so that they learn how to do it. So you don't need to have a partner to practice sex magic. But here is the really juicy, cool part also. It's not just creating intense excitement and arousal throughout your whole system and creating a new level of arousal and excitement and passion and experience between the two

of you it actually extends outside the bedroom in a really cool way so you know and you've listened to all my teachings around quantum love and manifestation and the secret right and what we know is that we are pure energy at our core we look like we're solid but we're pure vibrating atoms okay and those atoms are vibrating at a frequency that our body holds which is constantly shifting and changing mostly due to the conscious and unconscious thoughts and feelings we're having that's kind of what sets our frequency and also how much or to what extent we're matching the frequencies of people around us in particular our partners or people close to us we entrain to them there's i get deep into the science of this and quantum love my last book before this one if

you want to read up on that all kinds of scientific evidence for this but here's the thing the secret behind the secret, right? When we talk about manifesting, I'm going to write myself a check for a million dollars and I'm going to decide I have it and then it's going to come. The reason that doesn't work when it doesn't work is because you aren't matching your intention with the energetic frequency in your body of she, he, they who has a million dollars. You aren't moving into the energy and into what it would feel like if you really had the million dollars and carrying that around with you that is what supercharges your intention into the quantum field where all potentials exist so as anyone who talks to you or teaches you about

manifestation will explain this to you that you not only need the intention but you have to embody that intention as if it was already here now the higher the frequency that your body holds the more juicy stuff is coming to you the more you are a magnet for beautiful things and the more you can manifest that which you really desire so on the quantum love map as i teach it any state you hold from even curiosity and optimism to love forgiveness excitement joy you know goes up the scale higher and higher frequencies all the way to bliss well guess what sexual arousal and orgasm is the highest frequency the human body can hold literally and so what the ancients have known for thousands of years and what the mystery schools

have been teaching for thousands of years is that you can actually match intention with sexual arousal and orgasm and super, super charge it out into the quantum field. And it works. So I teach you in sex magic how to, for instance, create a sigil, a visual representation in a picture. It's a specific system to do this of what you want to manifest. And then you hold that image next to your bedside, in your mind, while you're moving through self-stimulation or sexual engagement with someone else. And you're holding that intention as much as you can. Obviously, you're going to get distracted during sexual arousal and leading up to orgasm and during orgasm. And if you can't hold on to it or you forget during orgasm, right after that in the

afterglow because you're still at a really high frequency, you are then using this really high state your body is in to supercharge your intentions out into the universe, into the quantum field where you are now a magnet for those things. And it has been astounding to me, the stories that I'm getting back. One woman who I taught this to and didn't even know she was trying to get pregnant came back to me later and told me she'd been trying for two years. and after practicing sex magic, she got pregnant. Another woman, her book rose to the top 15 on USA Today books. Another woman met an amazing person that she's now in a relationship with. There are so many stories I'm hearing from you, just from those that I've taught sex magic to,

and the book isn't even out yet. So I am so excited to put this baby out into the world. and I thought I'd do a special love note to you about sex magic. There's so many goodies that come with it too. When you buy the book, you also get my quantum sex web course, which is eight modules teaching you how to do this. You get the live initiation event. So you can watch that live initiation to jumpstart your journey into sex magic. And you also get a beautiful sex magic Ritual Journal. So I've put a whole package of goodies together for people who are ready to take this journey that I couldn't put in the book, but that are amazing assets and additional tools and beautiful helpers to use as you're diving into this beautiful practice. I am so excited to share

this with you and you can learn about it. You can go anywhere you buy books. It's called Sex Magic or you can go to drlauraberman.com backslash sex magic so check it out and let me know what you discover and how much fun you have with it and what juicy things you manifest using the techniques i teach about 60 of the book i think is exercises tangible things you can do and practice that will take your sex life, your relationship, and your life in general to a whole new level. Thanks for listening to The Language of Love, and I'll see you next time. arms around me I guess I'm falling

in love baby you're my rock star smashing all my guitars one day I will charge you for breaking my heart you're just like my sport car driving fast

you go far when I'm sitting by you we get high This song is a