Language of Love with Dr. Laura Berman - Female Ejaculation: Real or a Myth?

Episode Date: January 30, 2023

This week’s Language of Love Bite is all about female ejaculation. Some people believe it’s a myth, so I’m breaking down that misconception in today’s episode! A common belief is that your body releases urine when you orgasm, but that is not the case. There is a specific compound found in male and female ejaculation, and today, I want to talk about what’s actually happening in our bodies when we experience this.  In this Bite, I break down: The difference between male and female ejaculation The process of retrograde ejaculation A few tips to ejaculate when you orgasm You can always reach me at [e-mail] or leave me a voicemail if you have any questions! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hey, I'm sex, love and relationship therapist, Dr. Laura Berman. And for the last 30 years, I've been helping people just like you learn to love and be loved better. Welcome to the Language of Love Bites, where I tackle your most asked questions and requested topics. These episodes are designed to be fun, quick and to the point. It's time we all become fluent in the language of love. Is female ejaculation real or are you just peeing or something when you reach orgasm? The answer, yes, it's real. And no, it's not urine. And a lot of people mistakenly think it is. Now, how do I know this? Well, from the science. Yes, scientists have actually analyzed the secretions that come out of a woman during female ejaculation. And it is not

urine. In fact, interestingly enough, it has the same quality in it, a same quality as male ejaculate has called PSA. Now it's really not the appropriate term. It was believed that it came from the prostate. So it's called prostate stimulating antigen. So that's why it's called PSA. But the same thing is found in female ejaculate, and women don't have a prostate. So what is believed to happen is that they're not exactly sure because they haven't been able to actually analyze what is happening inside a woman during female ejaculation. But they believe that it is fluid that comes out from the Skeen's glands inside the woman, which is the equivalent developmentally to the male prostate.

it's the female equivalent. But here's the interesting thing. So with men, let's just talk about male ejaculation. What happens with ejaculation is that the semen is propelled out of the penis with orgasm. Now, there is something that men sometimes experience, usually after some sort of prostate surgery for prostate cancer or something else, or because of some other urologic anatomical issue or because they have learned to do this as a form of tantric sex a la sting so that they don't ejaculate when they orgasm there is something called retrograde ejaculation this episode is brought to you by animals how far would you go when someone threatens everyone you love who can you trust from academy award winner ben affleck

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at the point where it would come out of the penis, it goes up into the bladder. Okay. That's called retrograde ejaculation. And that's what men can actually learn to do to make their erections last and to be able to have multiple orgasms. That's actually what they're physiologically doing. People like sting. Now back to women and female ejaculation. This to me was fascinating. They did a study looking at women who do ejaculate with orgasm and who don't ejaculate with orgasm. And they analyzed their urine after orgasm. So all the women orgasmed, half of them ejaculated, half of them didn't. When they looked at their urine, which would have come from their bladders after orgasm, the women who did not ejaculate

had PSA in their urine. The women who did ejaculate did not have PSA in their urine. the conclusion is that the majority of women who don't ejaculate because it's estimated about 30 to 40 percent of women ejaculate with orgasm the women who don't ejaculate are actually still ejaculating they're just doing a retrograde ejaculation close your mind right so basically all women ejaculate is just that not all of us it comes out the urethra just like the majority of men ejaculate out the urethra. The majority of women retrograde ejaculate. Why? We don't know, but we do know that when we talk to women who ejaculate, as well as women who don't, the women who ejaculate report a couple of things. They report much more intensity in their orgasms,

more pleasurable, and they have a harder time having multiple orgasms. Interesting, right? it's also true that women can learn to have or to ejaculate with orgasm and there are actually teachers who will teach you how to ejaculate with orgasm I am not an ejaculation teacher but I have talked to people who are and learned from them what you do and I will share it with you you ready drum roll basically what happens for most women when they're about to reach orgasm they unconsciously clench. They're squeezing those Kegel muscles, which are the muscles that go in a figure eight and surround the urethra and the vagina, right? And those are the same muscles that you use to stop the flow of urine midstream or to even hold it in your

urine if you really have to pee. So what most women unconsciously do, those women who do not ejaculate is they squeeze unconsciously, tense those muscles in their pelvic floor and in their kegels at the point of ejaculation. For 50 years, Canadians have wondered what the names of IKEA furniture mean. Like Natopa, the guardrail for children's beds. Natopa means giving your favorite person room to grow. It means their safety and your piece of... No. In Swedish, Natopa means night monkey mom he's back ikea 50 years of swedishness at home look he's wearing little pajamas so cute what you are supposed to do if you want to ejaculate is not only try to open those muscles as wide as you can which we can all do because men have kegels too let's all do it

right now if you take a deep breath in and then you blow out and you imagine opening those muscles as wide as you possibly can, open them really wide and then rest them gently open, right? So if you were breathing out as you reach orgasm, you open those muscles wide and you push with orgasm, you are very likely to ejaculate. May take some practice. It should not like, if you wet all the sheets and they're sopping wet and you got to take them to the laundry, it probably was pee and not ejaculate. Ejaculate really shouldn't be more than a few tablespoons at most. And if you have urinated recently before sex and you don't have any major pelvic floor dysfunction where you pee when you sneeze or cough or jump on a

trampoline or laugh really hard, you probably are not peeing when you have sex. You're probably ejaculating. And more power to you, sister, because that means your orgasms are better than women who don't ejaculate. Thanks for listening to this Language of Love Bite. And I'm always here to answer your questions. You can email me at languageoflovepod at gmail.com or you can go to drlauraberman.com to the Language of Love page where you can leave me voicemail questions as well. And I will be back with you next time, always helping you learn to love and be loved better.