Language of Love with Dr. Laura Berman - How to Increase Desire in the Bedroom

Episode Date: January 19, 2022

On this episode of “The Language of Love,” sex therapist Dr. Laura Berman talks about the trouble with mismatched libidos and why so many couples struggle to establish complementary sex drives. ��One of the most common issues my clients have is that one partner wants more sex than the other,” says Dr. Berman. “Generally, this is an issue that presents early on in a relationship, but over time the issue grows and grows…as does the resentment.” Dr. Berman explains that mismatched libidos can often trigger a vicious cycle, a cycle which couples may not even be aware of or realizing that they are perpetuating. “Here is what often happens: The partner who keeps getting turned down for sex becomes resentful and insecure. They start to pull away, sometimes intentionally, sometimes unconsciously. The pet names and romance and affection start to disappear. As these things fall by the wayside, the sex drive only continues to plummet and both partners grow apart bit by bit. This is why mismatched libidos can end up derailing your entire marriage, if the issue is left untreated.” So what can couples do? In this episode, Dr. Berman explains how you can naturally increase your libido, such as by doing something dangerous together. “If you go on a roller coaster, or go skydiving, or even just watch a scary movie together, it can increase adrenaline and dopamine which will mimic that excitement you first felt for each other when you began dating,” says Dr. Berman. Dr. Berman also discusses how couples can start to find moments for spontaneity and create more eroticism and novelty in the bedroom. “You can have the sex life of your dreams,” says Dr. Berman. “But you’re the one responsible for making that happen. It won’t just occur overnight, and you have to be willing to get of your comfort zone and really challenge yourself to take ownership of your sexuality.” Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hey, I'm Dr. Laura Berman, a sex and relationship therapist. And for the past three decades, I've been helping people learn how to love and be loved better. That's what we're doing here on The Language of Love, where I get to answer calls and emails from people just like you. My goal with The Language of Love is to help you discover more meaningful emotional and physical intimacy and to help you build more awareness of how precious and sacred your sexuality really is. Be sure to email me or reach out with your very own love sex relationship questions, and I might just answer them live on the air. It's time we all become fluent in the language of love. Welcome, everyone. I think this is probably the most common question I get from people,

mostly in relationships you know from the people that are currently in a relationship or recently out of a relationship is questions around uneven libido desire thoughts fantasies motivation to be sexual that kind of thing and the things that can affect it and you know the am I normal element to that because everyone's always wondering do I want it too much do I want it too little is it okay that I want it more than my partner or less than my partner so I wanted to answer any questions you have about desire, what fuels desire, what struggles you're facing around desire, and also talk about some of the perspective I have as someone who's been treating people for sexual health and sexual function and sexual conflicts for so many years, kind of

from a mind-body perspective, what I have found to be the keys to maintaining libido. So I, we can certainly, I want to be problem solution. So if you're facing a struggle or a challenge or have a question or a problem, definitely want to hear from you and want to strategize on, on how to help you. But I also thought that maybe I could start by talking about what goes into healthy libido, right? Because I'm always talking about the things that go wrong and I will do more of that. But it's also, I think, important to say that we were not designed yet. Evolution hasn't caught up with modern medical technology and probably won't for another hundred years. But we didn't evolve to live this long. So for most of us, you know, when we were 100 years ago, even if you lived past 45, you know, you are an old man or old lady, you might as well be the equivalent of 85, 90 today. And so most people didn't live past their reproductive years. So libido wasn't as much of an issue. Certainly younger people sometimes struggle with desire, but it's typically more as we get older. And if you're a younger person struggling or facing this in your relationship, definitely step up here and let me know.

But I think the default in a long-term relationship, and certainly as we get older, and I don't mean old, I mean into our 30s and beyond, we start to see a decline in natural libido. And even if you're the one in the relationship that wants it more than your partner, if you think about it, chances are that at 30, you don't have as much drive, thoughts, fantasies, horniness, whatever you want to call it, as you did when you were 18. It declines and a lot of it has to do with our hormones. So what goes into healthy libido is certainly hormones, in particular, the hormone of desire, testosterone, and maintaining that. And obviously it's going to decline in all of us with age, but there is some really interesting research that keeping your muscle tone strong, muscles in particular, and maintaining muscle tone actually helps support testosterone production, which is kind of interesting.

And anything that supports your cardiovascular system, like exercise or healthy eating or whatever else, definitely helps your sexual response, which physiologically will help your libido. Because if you respond better and you don't have to worry about your response and you enjoy it, you're going to want to do it more. So that's sort of on the medical or physical side. And then, of course, emotionally, I think it's important to recognize that our society kind of pushes us to have an idealized image of sexual desire and that a healthy sexual relationship, you're supposed to be going at it all the time and unable to keep your hands off each other and have this quote unquote spontaneous horniness, but that's not really how it works in a longer

term relationship. And I think we do ourselves a disservice when we expect that and then let that be the barometer of our sexual desire. Because what I'm always telling people in long-term relationships is that your spontaneous horniness, so to speak, will start to diminish over time. And that's with the familiarity with your partner. You know, if you were to, goodness forbid, break up with your partner and start with a brand new partner, you probably want to do it more because it's new and exciting and different. And, you know, things get a little bit predictable no matter how spicy you keep it, although

keeping it spicy helps. And so you have to source your desire from a different place than drive, internal physical drive. And that's where I see a lot of couples going wrong is that they wait for the natural drive to happen rather than initiating sexual connection because of a desire to nurture the relationship or express love in a really intimate way or love their partner in a way that really lands or connect physically. You know, there's so many other reasons to be sexual. And we tend to kind of fall back on physical drive, which is not dependable, either as we age or in a long term relationship. So I definitely want to hear from you. If you have a question or a challenge, or even just want to share your wisdom about what fuels desire for you, or what you've learned in your, you know, we're all experts, we're all sexual beings, right? We've all struggled with this. But I think it's something that people tend to put more in the physical category. And when it's working, when you have that even desire in a relationship, it's just one part of the whole working relationship. When you don't have that connection, you know, it really starts to do damage to the relationship for most of us. Can you give a few specific examples and make this as real as possible? Like where can people source their desire from, if not physically?

I was just talking to a girlfriend not long ago and really common. She's not at all unusual. She was tired, stressed, pandemic, life coming to an end, trying to, you know, just like the rest of us. and also is in her mid to late forties, early fifties, and isn't really, doesn't have the same desire that she once did. And I was out with her and her partner. And of course, anytime I'm out with any of my friends, sex comes up. And so something about sex came up and it came up that she wasn't doing it with him. And she was like, oh, I just don't feel like it. And they were very

honest about it. And he wasn't being, you know, difficult about it. But I said, you know, offline to her, I was like, listen, you know, you really need to, every time I talk to her, I'd be like, dude, you know, give him some action. She's like, I don't have, I'm not interested. I'm tired. I was like, once you get started, everyone, unless you like are disgusted with him or, you know, sick yourself, or for the most part, people say that even if they don't have the drive. Once they get started, they enjoy it. And then afterwards they're like, oh, I should do this more often. It's just the getting started part that doesn't really happen. They'd rather be doing other things or they're tired or they're like, eh, I don't feel like it.

And so, you know, it kind of became a joke with us over several weeks, months, whatever. And then the other day she told me, guess what? I gave him a blow job and I couldn't believe how excited he was. And he wouldn't stop talking about how amazing it is. And he, you know, is like on top of the world. And I can't believe that one little blow job did all of this. And, you know, I was like, exactly, that's the whole thing in motion. And I think part of it is, especially for women who, you know, while many men do struggle with low desire, it's more often women who do because we have less testosterone. And we also our libido is more affected by stress or other emotional struggles. And we're also often more exhausted than men are. But I do think that there is a way

in which women don't understand, because it's not necessarily that way for us. Of course, we love sex. Of course, we love the idea of sex, all of that. But there is something unique to men in that it's, and maybe it's partly in their DNA, it's a lot in how they're socialized. But the sexual connection and feeling that sexual connection with their partner is so huge to their ability to feel emotionally close to their partner, to feel valued as a partner, to feel attractive in life, and especially if they still have a healthy libido. And we've talked about this before, that all of us not only want that connection, but we want to feel desired. And when you're the partner who still has the libido, it's not enough to just have it received occasionally when you initiate yourself.

But to be initiated with, to have your partner reach out to you sexually, adds 100 points to the already great situation. What advice do you have to cross that threshold to like give yourself the push to actually get started? Especially a woman who maybe is a bit hesitant or isn't feeling in the mood or is feeling tired. What can they do proactively to give themselves a little bit of a nudge? You can guess what I'm going to say about how to kind of bridge that gap and start shifting the energy sexually when you would rather, when you don't have that internal drive and you'd rather be watching Bridgerton or doing the laundry or something else on your to-do list.

And that is what I'm often saying, scheduling. And it becomes really important for the partner with the lower desire, because if you're the one who isn't inclined to do it, right? But you know that on this day, every week is the day that you're going to be sexual together. You organize your thoughts and energy around that, you're prepared for it. I find that a lot of women in particular who, and this would be true for a man who wasn't interested too, it's just more women than men aren't interested, is that there's like this ongoing low grade, usually low grade, sometimes high grade pressure that they don't want to deal or face. And then if there is a sexual opportunity, it kind of gets sprung on them and they aren't wanting it or ready for it.

So when it's kind of planned, she can be prepared, you know, she knows it's coming. She can orient her day or night around it. She's in, you know, she's got emotionally and intellectually, she is prepared and wanting to do it, or at least open to doing it, even if she's not feeling the internal drive. and most women who have you know almost every woman i talk to who has low desire unless she has pain or some you know abusive issues or something else will say exactly that but once i get started i really do enjoy it but she forgets that and so part of it is really making a commitment to remember that and making a commitment to source your openness to a sexual exchange not only from the understanding that you'll enjoy it once you get started just like you know i hate to liking sex to go into the gym. But, you know, often I don't feel like working out, but I kind of push myself to do it. And then I feel fantastic afterwards. And that's how most people are.

So I think it's the same thing here. If she knows that not only is she going to enjoy it, but she also understands that being sexual with him is the equivalent of him connecting with her emotionally, caring about her day, noticing her, you know, all the things that typically make women feel loved and cherished and connected to in a relationship, the sexual piece is as important to most men. And ironically, going to the gym will increase libido. So it's actually a very, it's a very good analogy. What are some other activities or actions that someone can do to increase the libido overall? Other activities that do tend to help build libido, obviously exercise muscle building helps. Also, another one is danger. And I don't mean you have to like go

skydiving, although sure, go ahead. But doing anything out of your comfort zone, ideally together, you know, if you did something, I don't know, rock wall climbing, or even a roller coaster ride, if that scares you, anything that kind of ups your adrenaline or makes you a little nervous or out of your comfort zone actually creates a neurochemical cascade of dopamine, which increases sexual desire. And so doing something dangerous together or scary together is really good for your libido. And I think if we're talking about most partners who have lower libido, especially women, a

lot of their low libido comes from stress. And what we don't, what many people don't realize is that there's a chemical impact of stress. We used to think that everybody went into fight flight when we're nervous or stressed, but we now know that women actually go into what scientists call tend and befriend when we're chronically stressed, which most women these days are. And that is the reason they call it tend and befriend is because we tend to kind of circle inward, kind of not really want to go out, want to bond with the people close to us emotionally.

are oxytocin levels when we're chronically stressed that rise significantly in women. And oxytocin is that chemical of attachment and bonding that breastfeeding mothers release to bond them to the baby, but it does a number on your testosterone levels. So stress will actually create low free circulating testosterone as a result of, you know, a hormonal cascade that starts with oxytocin. So limiting stress, increasing mindfulness, anything that's the cool part is that anything that helps your mental health and physical health turns out to also help your desire and your interest in sex and your hormones, you know, it all kind of works together. So sleep, mindfulness, stress management, scheduling, quality time.

Also, in some cases, especially if you're in your mid to late 30s or beyond, sometimes hormonal therapy. And, you know, that's on a case by case basis. And some people have too many risk factors and it's not without risks. And you have to talk to a trained physician about it, you know, who kind of specializes in hormone therapy. But once again, because now there's a huge population and a growing population with the baby boomers and below who are moving into perimenopause and menopause and still very active and have very active lives, we're going to see more and more people exploring hormonal options to maintain desire.

You mentioned stress as being a factor, clearly giving birth as a factor, age as a factor. What are some other causes of lower libido? Anyone with like a trauma history will often have low libido. And that's actually a really interesting, not, you know, not interesting, but from the libido standpoint, an interesting subpopulation because I did research years ago and I was so surprised when I saw this because I was dealing specifically with huge populations of women with low libido. And what I found, and I did a study that fleshed this out, is that women who have a sexual

trauma history, even when they had a very healthy libido for many years of their life, and maybe they did some healing and they were with, and even with a very loved and trusted partner, when they start to lose their libido, let's say for hormonal reasons, and their partner is still wanting sex and pursuing sex, even in a very gentle and loving way, the unwanted sexual advance feels way too close to home. And so a lot of women I have found who have trauma histories and maybe still had a very healthy sex life for many years, once they hit perimenopause or menopause or some other medical thing affects their libido, they often start experiencing a different kind of PTSD, which I think is really important to mention because a lot of people don't

realize that. So other causes, you know, body image issues, obviously big one. It's a huge deal, mostly for women as well as men, but especially for women, if she's feeling self conscious or, you know, gained a lot of weight or doesn't like the way she looks, she will often just avoid sex altogether. And, and honestly, the most, the two most common factors in male low libido is either self-consciousness around penis appearance or size. So in that way, body image can be a factor. And or if he feels like he can't perform, if he's experiencing any erectile dysfunction or something like that, he will often avoid it. Sex altogether, so he doesn't have to risk his performance anxiety. And if he has any financial or work-related stress.

other kinds of stress, all stress affects women's libido. But it seems that for men, it's primarily work and financial related stress that hits them between the legs, you know, it really affects their libido. But and we mentioned stress, that's another thing that negatively affects libido. Also, relationship issues, obviously, that's a huge category. So if you're feeling really angry at each other, obviously, you're not going to want to have sex. If you're feeling really disconnected, in particular, women will not want to have sex. Or if you're just mad at your partner, even though a lot of people have sex to make up, a lot of people don't want to get near their partner with a 10-foot pole when they're mad

at them. So there's always kind of these emotional things, which I would put it in that category, body image, anxiety, depression, history of trauma. That's kind of what would be in the emotional category. And then relational category, conflict, lack of trust, lack of communication, and in the medical kind of, you know, mind, so it's emotional, relational, and then body would be a lot of the things we've talked about with regard to hormones, neurochemicals, that kind of thing, but also a lot of medications negatively affect libido, like antidepressants, SSRIs

in particular, like Prozac and Zoloft will negatively affect libido. And sometimes the drugs for like hypertension or high cholesterol will indirectly affect libido because they negatively affect sexual response. And then there's either dryness in the woman or difficulty sexually performing in the man, and then they start to avoid it. Women who have pain during sex will obviously not want to have sex. I mean, we could have a long discussion about what causes pain, but that would be another category of people who struggle with desire for sure. I have a question, kind of the opposite end of the spectrum. You mentioned some drugs that hurt libido. Are there any drugs that help libido or other things, either diet or

supplements that somebody could take? We live in an age where everybody wants a quick fix. So are there things that people could be taking or eating to help with libido? Everybody wants a quick fix. And there's a lot of talk always, I mean, since the beginning of time about aphrodisiacs. And the truth is that none of them have ever really proven to have a significant impact scientifically. I mean, they can have a placebo effect and emotional impact if you, you know, eat some oysters and you feel really sexy about it. But for the most part, although there are things in those foods that are considered aphrodisiacs that help support libido, there's not enough in those foods to really have a significant impact. And quite frankly, it's the same thing with most of the supplements that are out there that claim to promote libido.

Most of them don't actually do anything to your desire. What they do, if anything, is enhance your sexual response. So improve lubrication or sensation or erections. And, you know, maybe that will improve your desire if you perform better. But those, you know, there's no FDA regulation of most of these nutraceuticals out there. So they can kind of make these claims without much proof. There are some things that are coming down the pike, but aren't quite out yet. Like one that's been circling around in the pharmaceutical world, which is really interesting,

is something called alpha-melanocytic peptide, I think is what it's called. And basically, it works with the melatonin receptors in the brain. And it was originally developed or was being developed to help prevent sun cancer by increasing the melatonin in your skin, I guess. But what they discovered is that it not only made you tan and your skin darker, but it also increased libido and decreased appetite. Can you imagine how well that one's going to do? It makes you skinny, tan, and sexual all in one. But that one hasn't come out yet. And then there are a lot of dopamine-based nasal sprays, sublingual things being looked at in the pharmaceutical world.

And remember what I said about dopamine when I was saying to do something adventurous to stimulate the dopamine receptors when couples are newly together and going at it constantly sexually because you know they're in that new phase of that beginning phase of the relationship their dopamine centers are firing like crazy and that starts to diminish in a long-term relationship so scientists believe that they if they can create like a dopamine nasal spray that maybe that would boost libido but as of yet there honestly is not anything on the market except Of course, testosterone, if you're a candidate for that and you don't have enough testosterone, testosterone is the hormone of desire. It's FDA approved for men.

It's prescribed as an off-label prescription for women because it's not FDA approved for us yet. But it basically works the same way. Where some see heroes and others see egos, Bloomberg sees the era of billionaire athletes. while others follow the noise. We follow the money. Learn more at Bloomberg.com. Okay, so I have two immediate questions. One is on sleep, the power of sleep.

So let's go there and then we'll go to my next one. Sleep is like the sex of this millennial. We all need more of it. And when you don't have enough of it, which unfortunately a lot of us don't, either because of stress or kids or life. I mean, I think the pandemic did cause a lot of stress for a lot of people. It at least slowed things down enough that maybe people were getting a little bit more

rest. But if you don't get enough sleep, then there's lots of research on this that actually causes a lot of health problems. It causes depression, anxiety. It actually turns off some of the brain receptors that tell you when you're full. So you often tend to overeat when you haven't gotten... I'm not talking about one sleepless night. I mean, chronically. And it definitely affects your hormones and hormonal balance. And you're

too freaking exhausted to want to have sex. So not only for practical reasons, but for neurochemical and hormonal reasons, not getting enough sleep can do a number on your libido. What about incorporating things like toys or dressing a certain way or other things that you could be doing proactively to help spark a little bit more libido. Do those play in? Do those have an effect? It's interesting. You're asking that as a guy, because that is, all right. So let me say this, that around the spicing up things, guys, you know, will often assume, which is understandable because this is their worldview, right? Like if they, if for most guys, it would not be uncommon if he was less interested or less excited about sex with his

partner, it would not be unreasonable to think that the reason he felt that way is because it had gotten a little boring and stale and he needed some adventure instead of going and getting a new partner. So he wants to try role playing or toys or, or outfits or whatever else. And that's all great. The mistake that I see a lot of men making in heterosexual relationships is that they're applying that same logic to their female partner, which doesn't compute or work. So I've seen this mistake so many times where she's not interested in sex. And he thinks he's racking his brain because he hasn't listened to this podcast and doesn't understand all the different pieces of the puzzle. And so he's thinking, well, if I were a woman and I had low libido, like what might it

be? Oh, it's probably because she's bored or, you know, we need to try something new, but that's almost never the reason a woman loses her libido. And so when he comes home with like a huge new phallic toy or some crotchless panties, like she already doesn't want to have sex. The last thing she wants to do is put on the crotchless panties and prance around for you. And so I understand why men do that. You know, they're thinking like a guy and they're thinking, you know, it's the same reason that if they and their partner decide that they want to try a sex toy and he goes and he looks by himself, he thinks, if I were a woman, what would I want? And he gets like the hugest, most realistic, veiny looking phallic thing that he can find and

thinking, well, if I were a woman, I would want a huge penis, you know, and she's not at all really interested in that. She wants something that offers clitoral stimulation and isn't fat, you know, so I think part of it is, is applying guy logic to women. But I do think that spicing it up and keeping things interesting is really helpful in keeping the excitement about sex going. But if one or the other of you already has low libido, it's not the first place to go. The first place to go if she has low libido is first and foremost, medical, making sure her hormones are where they should be, any medications she's taking, any medical conditions she has that may be negatively affecting her desire, and also considering the emotional

piece and the relational piece. Are you really spending enough quality time together? Are you connecting romantically and centrally without the expectation of sex so that she can have, because that's a big part of what fuels a woman's desire is the emotional connection she feels to the person she's having sex with. And when sex isn't happening in a relationship, especially in a relationship with a man, he often isn't as emotionally close, doesn't feel that emotional closeness because he's not having sex with her. So then she feels the distance and she's that much less inspired to be sexual. So turning around that stalemate of sorts can start not only with her understanding how important sex is to his ability to feel loved

and connected, but also in cultivating that emotional connection and that sensual connection, kissing, cuddling, talking without the expectation of sex and making clear that that's not what it's about. Physical, emotional, relational, all key. Let's talk physical real quick. How does one check their hormone level? What is the process for somebody that maybe has never done that before? So if you want to check to see if your hormone levels are where they should be, the best way to do it, you can talk to your doctor, your general practitioner, OBGYN or whatever. But I do find having, I'm not an MD, I'm a PhD, but having kind of taken a lot of people through this process, that the best kind of doctor to go to is someone who has real experience in

what are called bio-identical hormones. And those are hormones that are compounded in the pharmacy, like by a compounding pharmacist, and they're made from natural sources. And the nice thing about bioidentical hormones is that, you know, the pharmaceutical hormones that your doctor may prescribe are kind of one size fits all, they are usually synthetic. And the nice thing about bioidentical hormones is that you can start off on a really, really teeny dose, and you slowly with the doctor, you slowly kind of titrate up until the symptoms alleviate. So you're getting the lowest amount of hormone that you need to create the balance that's missing. And so you're looking for a doctor who has experience and specialization in bioidentical hormones. And

most major cities have people like that. They're not going to necessarily be your OBGYN or your general practitioner. But if you go to online to the American Academy of anti aging medicine, and you know, there are ways to find practitioners there, I often find referrals for by doctors who treat with bioidentical hormones there, they sometimes just use blood tests. Sometimes they do blood and saliva, sometimes they do just saliva and urine, you know, everyone has their protocol, but they will measure your hormone levels and then design a protocol for you that like I said, would start off

with the lowest possible dose. And it usually takes like three to six months because you're moving slowly and you're checking in with them about to kind of get to a good level. You know, it's not a quick fix but it definitely seems to work well. I have one final question.

It really relates back to what you talked about which is a man might think from a man's perspective, oh, I need to spice it up. I'm going to bring in a toy, a dildo, what have you. What other mistakes or misconceptions do people have about libido or about how to raise it? I think just like men sometimes make a mistake by thinking that they'll solve their female partner's low libido by going and getting a bunch of sex choice. I think a lot of women make the mistake thinking that when their male partner, you know, is insisting on or wanting or asking or begging or complaining about wanting more sex, that there's something wrong with him or that it shouldn't be so important to him or that, you know, he's just

a pig. Why is sex so important? And there's a lack of empathy and understanding for how crucial it is. I mean, I cannot tell you how, I could tell you, Billy, but I could not tell you how crucial sex is for a man who has an otherwise healthy libido, doesn't have low libido himself. It's crucial for his sense of wellbeing, his sense of importance in the relationship, his sense of emotional connection her being unwilling to be sexual with him and like role you know like why do you care so much would be like the equivalent of him being like what do you mean you want me to ask you about your day like why is that what's wrong with you like what do you mean you want me to hold your hand or cuddle you or spend time with you you know it's

the equivalent to them not that they don't like you know spending time together but sex for a man who has a healthy libido is a huge part of his sense of emotional connection. And I don't think that women, because we don't think that way, we don't really understand that. And we kind of shame, often shame our partners, when they do want sex, we kind of make them feel like something's wrong with them. And so with that, what are your final thoughts about libido? I think the most important thing that we can kind of glean from all of this is that sex is part of health as part of sex, as part of health emotionally and physically. And it's so important for your relationship health, for your physical health, for your immune system to stave off

depression, to increase cardiovascular health. And there's so many benefits to it. And it's something that we either tend to push to the side, demonize, or just ignore when we don't have that internal automatic drive. And the truth is that often you have to cultivate the drive. And if you are struggling in your sex life, there is always help available, therapeutic help, medical help, relationship help. So make sure that you get help and that you don't sweep it under the rug. And definitely let me know if you have any questions or anything you want to hear more about on topics of love, relationships, sex. The Language of Love is all about helping us learn to love and be loved better. So you can go to languageoflovepod.com where you can send in an

email question or a voicemail question and we'll have lots more really important information next time on the Language of Love. Thank you so much for joining me on this episode of Language of love. I love all these questions from you. And you remember that you can keep them coming. You just go to drlauraberman.com right there on the homepage. You can either leave a voicemail question or an email question. You can also go to speakpipe.com backslash language of love directly and leave a voicemail question as well. But it's sometimes easier just to click on the link. I will meet you back here. A brand new podcast is coming out next Wednesday. So look for that. Make sure to subscribe if you like it. And I'll see you next time on the Language of Love.

Thank you.