Language of Love with Dr. Laura Berman - How To Manifest Love

Episode Date: May 30, 2022

Manifesting has been a buzz word for decades now. Many people think they know what it means to manifest and how to go about it, but the truth is that you may be going about it all wrong. On this special “Love Bites” episode of “The Language of Love,” I reveal why many people approach manifesting the wrong way, and how to change it. If you're trying to manifest the love life you desire, you need to stop thinking about what you want and instead start thinking about how you want to feel. Yes, manifesting all comes down to getting aligned with the emotions you want to experience in your love life. Emotions are energy in motion, and the universe is fueled by energy. All of our experiences are created by energy, so if you want to create more passion and romance, you need to get your energy in the right place. But how? Listen to this episode to find out and start manifesting your dream love life now! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Language of Love Bites. This one on how to manifest the love you most desire, in particular, calling love into your life. Because absolutely, you can manifest the love you desire when you're already in a relationship. We'll see. We may wait to get to that topic because this topic is inspired by what a lot of you have been asking me on social media and writing into the show about, all right, I'm single. I've done the single bar things. I've done the online dating things. I just can't seem to call love into my life. And you talk about manifesting. How the hell do you manifest a partner? Okay. So some of what I'm going to talk about is just the basic art of manifesting. It applies to everything, including calling love into your life. But we're going to

also talk specifically about what needs to be in place for you to really call the love you most desire into your life. And the first question to ask yourself as you embark on this journey, most importantly, and this leads to everything about how you're going to manifest it, is what do you want out of love? Okay. Now, this isn't exactly the question you probably automatically think when I ask you that. When someone asks you, well, what do you want in a relationship? Well, I want someone who loves me and who's loyal and who has a good job or is, funny or we'll come up with these qualities of the person we want or even the characteristics of the person we want. Some of us may say we want certain physical characteristics or whatever.

The truth is none of that works. What really works when you're talking about manifesting and the science of manifesting is the energy and the frequency that your body is emitting and that you are releasing into the quantum field, and that is where all potential is, and that is what we're already doing all the time. We're all co-creating our realities every second of every day. It's happening usually unconsciously. For many of us, we've been, quote-unquote, trying to manifest love, but we've been going about it the wrong way because we've been thinking about what we want instead of how do you want to feel. Because think about it. Anything you've ever wanted or ever will want comes down to

wanting a feeling. Somebody wants that fancy car. Why? Because of how they'll feel when they own that car or drive that car or whatever it is. Someone wants a certain job or a certain lifestyle or a certain partner or whatever it might be. It all comes down to how we want to feel. And that's all that really matters. And that is the language of the quantum field. Because as you get clear on how you want to feel in love, and I'm going to help you do that in a minute, then you're actually, as you move into that feeling, and we'll be practicing, I'll show you how to do that on a regular basis, and you cultivate those feelings that you most want to feel in love into your life. Not only is it fun because you're feeling a way you want to feel in love or not, right? But also, you are now moving into the energy of the feeling that you want to create in love and you become, drumroll, a magnet for that, okay? That's how you call love into your life.

That's how you manifest. Now, I talk a lot about manifesting in quantum love. I talk about the science. I talk about the quantum fields. I'm going to not get into all of those details for the purposes of this love bite, but they're definitely lots of videos on my YouTube channel and on my website that talk about this. So getting clear on how you want to feel, the top two ways, top two feelings. If you were to wake up next to your beloved, your perfect person every morning, when you woke up, how would you feel in that

relationship? Would you feel playful, adventurous, safe, cherished, romantic? What would be the fundamental feelings inside you in this perfect love relationship for you. That is where you begin, okay? Now, put a pin in that for a minute, okay? Because we're going to come back to the art of manifesting once you know how you want to feel in love. In fact, if you want to learn more and get really clear if you're having trouble figuring out how you even want to feel, on the homepage of my website, there is literally a quiz I created for this purpose because this how often I get that question. So go to drlauraberman.com and right there, you'll see the quiz. What do you want out of love? And it will tell you based on 15 questions, how you most

want to feel in love. It's really cool. So definitely check that out if you're having trouble figuring this out on your own. Before we can even get to the feeling part and the manifesting part, it's important to do the prequel, right? Getting ready for love. Are you really ready for love. And this is something that people say, sure, I really want love in my life. I'm ready for it. Of course, I want a partner. I want a companion. I want to travel the world. I want to have babies. They have all these things they want. But are you ready inside yourself? And here's how you know you're ready. And this is kind of an oxymoron because it seems kind of not conducive to wanting love in your life. But here's the thing. In order to really attract in

healthy, emotionally mature, beautiful love, you have to be in a place to give it and receive it. You have to have faced some of your shadows, some of your demons, some of your wounds. Perfect example of this is Amber Heard and Johnny Depp. Whatever else is going on in that case, whoever's guilty, not guilty, whether it's a mutually abusive relationship or one that's like, I'm not going to get into who's right and who's wrong here. It's heartbreaking either way, and it's devastating either way. But I will say that they are a perfect example of two people who have not healed their earlier life traumas, and they are coming to roost in their love relationships in the now. Each of these individuals are working out and playing out their childhood

wounds with each other. Johnny Depp with Amber around his abandoning, abusive, unstabilized mother. So he attracts in. He doesn't deal with that effectively inside himself. He doesn't do the healing. He doesn't face those wounds. He doesn't allow himself to heal. He doesn't really do the work to heal. Welcome to the world. None of us feel like doing that work if we can get away with it, right? And then what happens? He is a magnet for and magnetized to people who are going to repeat that wound. Why? Because that's still where his energetic frequency is, but even psychologically. There's something that therapists call the repetition compulsion, which is how this same dynamic, or even better to use Amber as an example of this

dynamic, her father was an addict, is an addict. And all that came with that, with the codependence, with the managing that, with the worthiness issues around that, then became a magnetized to addicts and all that comes with addiction, even though that's the last thing she wanted and the last thing he wanted. The unconscious wish, and this is where the repetition compulsion comes in, the compulsion part is fueled by this unconscious wish that this time I'll get it right. So the part in this case, and I'm just hypothesizing, I don't know Amber and Johnny at all, but I'm using them as an example, right? So someone like her probably felt not enough or too much, or as a child, this is what the child thinks, if I did something differently or it was more of something or better

of something, then daddy wouldn't keep drinking or doing drugs. And daddy wouldn't do the things he did to mommy and all that. The kid thinks everything's about them. They internalize that. They don't heal those key wounds. They don't really look into the belly of the beast and do that work. And then they're attracted to addicts because the unconscious wish is this time I'm going to get it right. Even though they end up not getting it right, you can't fix someone else. You know, it's not about your worthiness or your lovability, but you keep getting into these toxic situations, which then make yourself worse and worse, right? So, if you're really going to attract in and be attracted to the kind of love you want,

you have to do your own healing. You have to get clear inside yourself. And back to, you have to get clear once you've done that key healing about what you really want. And now, boy, I will do probably an hour or two on how to heal, right? We're really skimming things over with this love bite. But let me just say this. When we're talking about manifesting, here's the biggest key, second, after knowing how

you want to feel and starting from that place, the second is to really work on the difference between wanting and needing. This is something fundamental to manifesting, okay? The key is in putting that intention out into the quantum field, matching it with the feelings you would experience if that thing you desire came into being. And then, this is the hardest part, releasing it. What I mean by releasing it is I mean you'll be okay either way, and you know that inside yourself. So with love, this is the part that comes out of doing your healing work and getting ready for love is that when you come to a place in your life, and this is how you attract

an amazing love, ironically, when you come to a place where you are a full, delicious, beautiful cake all on your own, yeah, the other person that's going to come into your life is the icing and the sprinkles and the candy flowers and all the things on the outside of the cake. that make it even, even, even better and more fulfilling and more yummy, but you are already your own delicious cake. That stupid Jerry Maguire thing

about you completing me from that movie just still haunts me because people still like love that scene. I hate it because no one ever completes you and you aren't going to attract healthy, non-codependent, emotionally mature, fulfilling love until you are whole and you are not whole until you have healed

the things that need to be healed, the key things. Obviously, our lives are a journey of healing, but the big things that stand in the way of your worthiness and your ability to give and receive love in a healthy way. And you have to be able and willing to be lovingly detached from the outcome. I really want love in my life. I'm excited to have love in my life. This is something I'm really looking forward to, and I will be fine either way. That is the key.

Now, last piece I'm going to give you here is some beginning techniques. once you know how you want to feel in love and assuming you've done some of this work to really release the wounds that are in the way of calling love in. Now you want to start the practice of being in the energetic frequency of that which you desire. That's where the juice comes to manifest love. So what does that look like when you're calling love into your life? Well, you now know how you want to feel, okay? It doesn't matter. You're not going to focus on what color their hair is or how tall they are or what the job is or anything else. You are going to use your imagination to imagine scenes. He or she or they don't even have to have a face, right? But you're

going to imagine scenarios. Or even if there were people from your past, real or imagined, that inspired in you the feelings that you most want to feel in love, you can imagine those scenarios. If you had a past partner where you had an amazing moment with or amazing situation with where you felt exactly what you most longed to feel in love, even if that relationship didn't work out, you are still moving yourself into that frequency. And I'll tell you how and why. This is what you do. You go into your mind as if that scene you've imagined or recalled is happening right, these are the keys, right here, right now. So, it's happening in the now moment in your mind's eye, in your imagination, and it's happening in first person. So, you are

not watching yourself in that scene you're imagining or remembering. You are in it. You're there in first person. You can look down and see your feet and your hands and see through your eyes and your imagination because here's the cool part, the body and the brain don't know the difference between reality and rehearsal. And there's tons of science about this, but you have to be in that scene as if it's happening in first person. And then that literally moves your body naturally into the frequency of that which you desire. So when you're meditating or in the shower or on the freeway, bring up those images in your mind. Let them come to you when you're meditating. Recall moments, even non-relationship moments where you felt those feelings and allow yourself

to marinate in the energy of the frequency of that which you desire. The other way that you can do this is to look for ways to feel those feelings you most desire in other ways. So let's say one of the key feelings is that you want to feel adventurous and playful in love, in a perfect relationship, or safe and secure, whatever it is. Look for opportunities that have nothing to do with love and relationships, experiences, activities, people that create more of those feelings in you, right? So if you're looking for play, when you're walking down the street to the coffee shop and you see a playground, you're going to stop and jump on the swings or the seesaw, right? Or you're going to have a crazy dance party by yourself in your

house. You're going to start cultivating play in your own life, right? If it's about feeling cherished. Look for opportunities with your friends, with your family, with your colleagues, with loved ones who make you feel cherished and spend time with them or think about them or connect with them, right? Because now you once again are living and marinating in the frequency of that which you desire. So if you can do this several times a day, every day, and if you want to fast track it, try to be in those feelings you most desire in life and love 51% of the time. And wowza, do miracles happen. You don't even need to know how or why it's going to happen because the universe, God, spirit, whatever we imagine or understand to be the power

that brings these manifestations into reality has such a better imagination than you could and does such a better job. So don't get caught up in the details. Just focus on the feelings and how it's going to feel to be in that love relationships. And in the meantime, feed your soul, heal your wounds, work on being your whole delicious cake, and dream into the possibilities. And don't hide in the corner of your apartment 24-7. That doesn't mean you have to join every dating site, but it does mean you have to get out there.

You have to lift your eyes off your smartphone when you're on the bus or in the park or jogging or whatever. You have to smile at the barista in the coffee shop, not because you don't necessarily want to date the barista, although that's okay, but just to be nice. And because someone else who you will be attracted to may be noticing you and noticing how kind and nice you seem and feel that much more comfortable approaching you, right? So you're turning your cab light on, saying, I'm available, saying I'm engaged in the world and putting yourself out there, joining groups or clubs or organizations that interest you

So you can meet people if you need to meet people, reach out to the people, you know, to ask them to fix you up with someone they think you might enjoy and marinate in that feeling as much as possible. So that's your love bite on the language of love for manifesting love. If you want to learn more about healing those wounds to get ready for love or any other question, these love bites are all about what you're asking for. And I'm always here for you to help you learn to love and be loved better.