Language of Love with Dr. Laura Berman - Into the Realm of Tantric Sex

Episode Date: November 11, 2024

Long-term relationships can feel a bit routine at one point, and a craving for an extra spark often arises in most couples. In this episode of Language of Love Bite, I’m thrilled to take you on a journey into the captivating realm of tantric sex. This practice is all about harmonizing body, mind, and spirit to forge a sacred bond with your partner that not only intensifies physical pleasure but also enriches your emotional connection. Tantric sex offers a wonderful opportunity to deepen intimacy by harnessing spiritual and energetic vibrations. I share some exciting techniques, including the "yab yum" position and the art of "soul gazing" that can help you and your partner connect like never before. We also explore the incredible benefits of tantric sex, from alleviating anxiety to enhancing your overall sexual health.  In this Bite, you'll discover:  Key benefits that come with embracing Tantric practices Techniques to explore and enhance your intimate experience Embracing inclusivity in Tantric practices Practical ways to circulate sexual energy A sneak peek into my upcoming book focused on Sex Magic And if you find yourself inspired by this episode, be sure to check out my Quantum Sex course on my website, and mark your calendars for my forthcoming book, Sex Magic, launching in May 2025. These resources will serve as your ultimate guides to transforming your love life into an adventure filled with deep, soulful intimacy. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hey, I'm sex, love, and relationship therapist, Dr. Laura Berman, and for the last 30 years, I've been helping people just like you learn to love and be loved better. Welcome to the Language of Love Bites, where I tackle your most asked questions and requested topics. These episodes are designed to be fun, quick, and to the point. It's time we all become fluent in the language of love. What is tantric sex? Well, we're going to get into not only the definition, but how you and your partner can explore tantric sex to take your eroticism, arousal and experience to whole new heights.

OK, so tantric sex really focuses on establishing a spiritual and energetic connection with a partner during sexual intimacy, because it's actually one of the original doctrines that kind of saw the body and the sexuality as not separate from spirituality. Conscious sex is really what tantric sex is, and it's a sacred approach. It's a sacred practice to sex that supports health, that increases closeness, that reduces anxiety, and that actually dramatically helps with early ejaculation as well as orgasmic issues in women, difficulty reaching orgasm, orgasms less intense. A lot of it has to do with positions that you're in, with connections that you create, and with a kind of consciousness and body awareness, especially of the energy exchange that happens during sex. So this is like next level sex. This is what I get into when I talk about quantum sex. In fact, you can check out my course. If you go to my website, drlauraberman.com and you click on the

quantum love page, you will find my quantum sex course. And I also have a book coming out in May 2025 called Sex Magic, where I go deep into all these practices. But to me, these kind of techniques and tantric sex, which I'm getting into, is one of them, is one of the ways that we make sex exciting. Because so much of the time we're focusing on tips, toys, role plays, fantasies, which are all great, but you run out of those after a while, the novelty starts to wear off. What we're really looking for when we're looking for novelty is intensity of experience. that is what these techniques create for you. So let's get into it. Some of the positions, let's just start with one beautiful position that you can use as part of foreplay and even have

intercourse in this position. So this position is a gold standard for quantum sex, for tantric sex as well, which is an aspect of quantum sex. It's called the yab-yum position. Basically, it's a beautiful way to join your energy. So the larger partner, whoever that is, because all of this applies regardless of your gender orientation, your sexual orientation, whatever. So whoever is the larger partner sits on the bottom with their back supported. So you can be like on the bed against the headboard or on the floor against the couch or whatever, but your back is supported. Your legs are crossed. Okay. The other partner sits on the first partner's lap facing them and wraps their legs around the waist of the larger

partner. And the larger partner wraps their arms. So they wrap their legs around their waist and they wrap their arms around their partner's shoulder. And then the larger partner is wrapping their arms around the waist of the person sitting on top of them. Now, from that position, you can do all kinds of cool stuff. First of all, you can do something called soul gazing. Soul gazing is where you look into the eye above your partner's heart. So their left eye. So they're gazing into your left eye. You're gazing into their left eye. And it feels extremely intimate and even uncomfortable and giggly and awkward at first because most people have never done anything this intimate and deep. It feels awkward at first, I'm just warning you, but it's

unbelievably intimate and gets built upon as you start building in these more sexual elements in a really beautiful way. So as you're soul gazing, and you could even do this at first just for 60 seconds if that's all you can do, work your way up to three minutes, okay? Three minutes actually can feel like a really long time. And as you're doing it, synchronize your breath. So just start kind of breathing at the same pace. And if you want to up-level it even more, take your right hand and put it on your partner's heart. So basically below that eye that you're gazing into, put your hand on their heart and they put their hand, their right hand on your heart. you're synchronizing your breathing, you're staring into that eye, and you're sitting in

this intimate position. It's a really beautiful way to get centered, grounded, and energetically connected. And then you can actually start having sex from that position. Now, for most of us, sexual energy, genital, you know, sexual sensation is located and centralized around the genitals. That's where we feel it, the tingling, the warmth, the arousal we feel in our genitals. With Tantra, you're actually pulling that energy up through your body and you're sharing it with one another. Hey, it's Dr. Laura Berman. I've been a sex, love, and relationship therapist for over 30 years.

And the main question I always get asked is, how the heck do we spice it up in a long-term monogamous relationship? Well, if you want to take your love life, your sex life to the next level, whether you're in a relationship or not, check out my free course on quantum sex. It's going to teach you how to take your sexual response to the next level, capable of full body orgasms, how to use sex magic to manifest your dreams and how to connect on an even deeper level sexually with your partner. Just go to Dr. Laura Berman dot com and you'll find it right there on the home page. The quantum sex free course. Check it out. Let me know what you think.

So one of the most beautiful things, and I'm just giving you this one example, and you can check out the quantum sex course and the book Sex Magic when it comes out to learn a million techniques. But this one I love, which is circling the energy. Okay. Now we have to think about feminine and masculine, not talking about gender here, but for the sake of simplicity, the person who is on the top in the yab yum position is going to take on the feminine energy. And the person that is on the bottom in the yab yum position is going to take on the masculine energy. And here's how it works. The masculine,

and this is true for all of us who live more in our masculine energy receives sexual energy through the genitals and shares it through the heart the feminine receives sexual energy through the heart and shares it through the genitals and if you think about it in traditional men and women that's kind of the way it works like your average woman really gets turned on and inspired to be sexual and gets turned on sexually when she feels really emotionally connected to the person she's having sex with. And most men achieve a sense of emotional closeness as a result of sexual connection they feel to the person they're trying to be emotionally close to. So it actually is really fascinating to me that this tradition that is thousands of years old kind of understood this.

so here's how it works in a sexual scenario what's happening is that you're having intercourse let's say in this yab yum position you're rocking back and forth so you're staying in contact achieved penetration you're rocking let's just pretend it's a heterosexual couple it could be two men anal penetration it could be two women just genital to genital rubbing or even using a dildo. So I'm just, for the sake of simplicity, just pretending it's a heterosexual relationship. You're rocking back and forth. You're holding each other. You're soul gazing, looking into each other's eyes. The one who is on the bottom, the masculine energy, is imagining pulling that genital sensation that he's feeling in his penis and scrotum and in his pelvic floor.

As he takes a deep breath in, he imagines pulling it up to his heart, and then as he breathes out, it flows out his heart, this beautiful energy, into his partner's heart. So as he is breathing out, his partner in the feminine on top of him, as he breathes out. She is now taking a deep breath in, receiving it into her heart, letting it flow down her body and imagining flowing it into her partner's genitals in a circle. Okay. So he's receiving the energy through the genitals, pulling it up into his heart, flowing it into her heart where she's receiving it, dropping it down, flowing it into his genitals from her genitals. And from there, they're creating a circle, soul gazing the whole time, rocking back and forth the whole time.

And you can imagine the magic that starts to happen as you build momentum with this. This is just one of many techniques in Tantra. I highly encourage you to explore this. You can check out the quantum sex course at drlauraberman.com on the quantum love page, or you can just explore Tantra. There are a million other resources out there, but I highly recommend exploring these traditions, especially if you want to take your intimacy to new heights. All right. If you have any questions about this or anything else, you can always reach me at languageoflovepod at gmail.com or you can comment in the comments. If you like this episode, make sure to follow on your favorite podcast platform.

I love you.