Language of Love with Dr. Laura Berman - Is This the Best S*x Position Ever for Women?

Episode Date: October 27, 2025

Some people swear by the 69 position, others love the comfort of missionary, some can’t get enough of doggy style, and plenty enjoy the view with reverse cowgirl. But here’s the real question… But there is one position that actually makes you feel the most connected, the most turned on, and the most satisfied.  In this Language of Love Bite, I break down what science, anatomy, and thousands of real women have shared about the most reliable position for her pleasure. Imagine it’s simpler than you think, and with just a pillow and some mindful adjustments, it can go from average to unforgettable. We discuss: Why only 20–25% of women orgasm from penetration alone The role clitoral stimulation plays in reliable pleasure How a simple pelvic angle shift transforms missionary into the most effective position Why emotional safety and nervous system calm are essential for orgasm The benefits of chest-to-chest contact, oxytocin release, and eye contact How to use your hands (or hers) for clitoral stimulation during penetration The secret sauce for creating connected, simultaneous orgasms If you want to take this deeper, check out my book Sex Magic for a full guide to creating erotic intimacy that feels sacred and deeply satisfying. And don’t forget to subscribe to the Language of Love podcast so you never miss a bite-sized tip to level up your love life. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hey, I'm sex, love, and relationship therapist, Dr. Laura Berman, and for the last 30 years, I've been helping people just like you learn to love and be loved better. Welcome to the Language of Love Bites, where I tackle your most asked questions and requested topics. These episodes are designed to be fun, quick, and to the point. It's time we all become fluent in the language of love. So let's get right to it. What is the best position for her pleasure?

Is it missionary, cowgirl, doggy style, something you saw in porn and tried maybe a little awkwardly? Well, I'm going to tell you exactly what Science Anatomy and thousands of real women have shown me about the most reliable position for female pleasure. And at the end of this, I'm going to show you how a simple pillow and one small shift can take that position from meh to mind blowing. So here's the deal. Most women do not orgasm from penetration alone. In fact, only about 20 to 25% of women do. The other 75% need clitoral stimulation. They need to feel also emotionally connected, relaxed, and safe in their bodies. And that means your go-to porn style thrust fest is probably not cutting it.

So what's the best position for her pleasure? Drum roll here. It's actually a modified missionary position. Simple, grounded, and deeply effective. So how does it work? It's about pelvic angle and clitoral access. So when you elevate her hips slightly with a folded towel or a small pillow, you actually are tilting her pelvis up in a way that allows for more friction against the clitoris during

thrusting. And you're not just going in and out, you're sliding against her sweet spots, rocking back and forth. And this full body contact actually has a secondary benefit. It creates nervous system safety within her, which is key to a woman's orgasm. If her nervous system is calm, but also sensually and erotically aroused, that's when she can really relax into orgasm. And that chest to chest contact actually stimulates oxytocin, the bonding hormone, and can help

her relax into a deeper arousal. And if you add in eye contact and synchronize your breath and gentle pressure, she's more likely to trust her body's pleasure. Hey, it's Dr. Laura Berman. I've been a sex, love, and relationship therapist for over 30 years. And the main question I always get asked is, how the heck do we spice it up in a long-term monogamous relationship? Well, if you want to take your love life, your sex life to the next level, whether you're in a relationship or not, check out my free course on quantum sex. It's going to teach you how to take your sexual response to the next level, capable of full body orgasms, how to use sex magic to manifest your dreams and how to connect on an even deeper level sexually with your partner. Just go to drlauraberman.com and you'll find it right there on the homepage, the Quantum

Sex free course. Check it out. Let me know what you think. If you can free one or both hands, use them. Hold her face, stroke her breasts, use one to stimulate her clitoris while you move slowly. This is the secret sauce to simultaneous orgasms that feel connected and not performative. The magic isn't in the shape. It's in the energy you bring to the connection.

So slow down, stay connected, let her body guide you and keep the friction against her clitoris during penetration. Now, if you actually want to put this into practice, here's one simple enhancement that most men miss, but that makes a huge difference. Place that folded pillow or a firm towel under her lower back or pelvis, not too high. You want a slight tilt, not a really steep angle and start slow using eye contact and breathing together and add gentle downward pressure with your pelvis, not jamming, but melting into her rhythm. Think smooth, grounded, rocking, not pounding. Now, this is optional, but makes it pretty epic. If you use your hand or hers to gently stimulate

her clitoris during penetration, you can actually keep it really consistent, that stimulation. don't speed up unless she guides you to do so. So this combo, angle, clitoral access, emotional presence, friction and rocking, and then you can pull back and use your fingers or hers, that's what helps women get there during intercourse. If you liked this episode, make sure to follow on your favorite podcast platform

and share it with anyone who you think could learn a little something from this. Make sure to check out my book, Sex Magic, for a full guide to sacred, satisfying, erotic intimacy. Pleasure is more than performance. It's presence. And when you lean into how to make her body safe enough to open, you're unlocking a whole new level of turn on. I'll see you next time on the Language of Love. time for a crush all i wanna do i wanna do is take you home with me i wanna make a move i wanna make