Language of Love with Dr. Laura Berman - Listening to Your Spirit Guides with Lee Harris Part 1

Episode Date: November 24, 2021

On today’s episode of “The Language of Love,” Dr. Laura Berman sits down with energy expert and transformation guide Lee Harris. Harris is the author of “Energy Speaks: Messages from Spirit on Living, Loving, and Awakening,” and on today’s episode, he talks about how we can get in tune with our energy and help use our consciousness not only to heal ourselves but to heal the world. Harris explains to Dr. Berman how we can better raise boys and help them to get in touch with their emotions. Since our society encourages men to be stoic and never cry or show weakness, many boys grow up being unable to cope with or even identify their emotions. On this episode, Harris shares his important insights on raising emotionally healthy boys, but also emotionally healthy kids in general. How can you better tap into your child’s emotions? How can you parent in a conscious, vulnerable way? These questions are so complex, but the answers are already within us, if we can just let our egos and expectations get out of the way our intuition and our inner wisdom. When we connect to the source of unconditional love and our true power, we can parent in a way that allows our children to break free from painful family patterns, even those that may have existed in our family legacy for generations. “The heartbreak of this planet is healing. It may not seem so, but it is. Heartbreak is healing on a planetary level. That is why hearts are breaking. So, lead with your hearts both for yourself and for others,” says Harris. “Where you share your love with others, you lead with your hearts. None of you acknowledge yourselves enough for this. And where you lead with your hearts, you the lead the way for others to open their hearts.” Don’t miss this insightful episode! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hey, I'm Dr. Laura Berman, a sex and relationship therapist. And for the past three decades, I've been helping people learn how to love and be loved better. That's what we're doing here on The Language of Love, where I get to answer calls and emails from people just like you. My goal with The Language of Love is to help you discover more meaningful emotional and physical intimacy and to help you build more awareness of how precious and sacred your sexuality really is. Be sure to email me or reach out with your very own love sex relationship questions

and I might just answer them live on the air. It's time we all become fluent in the language of love. I'm so excited to have you with me on the language of love, especially for this episode. We have someone who I've had a little sort of, I was joking with him before we started recording that I've been like a stealth, a stealth fangirl for a while, just watching his energy updates. But we are so lucky to have Lee Harris with us.

Say hi, Lee. Hi. Hi. Great to be here. Thank you for inviting me, Laura. Oh, I'm so excited. Just in case you don't know who Lee Harris is, he's a globally acclaimed energy, intuitive transformation teacher.

And his book, Energy Speaks, which I believe came out in 2019, was an immediate bestseller. He's the host of Impact the World, which is a podcast. And his album, Awaken, he's also, if that's not enough, a musician. And I know that's kind of how you started. But to us, it's like, oh, and also, he's this amazing, healing musician. His album, Awaken, which was produced by David Bozic. Is it Bozic or Bozic? We pronounce it Davor Bozic.

Okay. So I say it totally wrong. I say that again. Don't worry. I always call him Davor Bozic, which is just, yeah. Davor Bozic. Davor. So yeah, but it translates to David in Slovenia where he's from. David Bozic is how it's spelled. But that is now number two on iTunes and Amazon or went to number two on iTunes and Amazon New Age Music. So clearly we are all very hungry and open and excited about the teachings of Lee Harris. And I was asking him before we started, like, how much time do you have? Because I have so much to ask you. And, you know, one of the things that

we're going to be getting into, which I'm really excited to share with you all, is Lee is a channel. And the bottom line is, and I know he believes this, technically, we're all channels. And we're going to talk a little bit, Lee, about, you know, how he came to discover this for himself. But also, I know that he teaches other people how to do it. And we all have a channel inside us waiting to open and give us that guidance and support. And I, for one, am very game to kick that into gear. So we're going to be giving you some guidance, hopefully, to get you started on that journey as well, because we could all use that internal reference system coming through a little more

strongly and feel the grace a little more strongly in today's chaotic world. So I'm excited to talk about that. But Lee, if we can, I just want to start at the beginning, right? You know, you've been very open, at least from what I've read and watched of you, about your struggles as a kid. You know, I like how you say, and I related to this so much, not only as a grown up who was a similar child, it sounds like to you, my wounds may be manifested a little bit differently than yours, but I also am your mother in some ways.

I don't know a lot about your mother, but as you describe your family, because, and you know, I'm very open and I know, you know, and everyone knows, you know, about my middle son who tragically died less than a year ago. And so much of what you describe was him. And in many ways, he had such a hard time in the world. You know, you describe yourself. I love how you, I read or saw somewhere, you know, you say you came from a loving family. It wasn't like they, I mean, we all have our limitations. We're growing up as we raise our children for God's sake, but that you were a very sensitive and intuitive child and you didn't understand that. And, you know, your family didn't recognize, they didn't understand that either. So you didn't really

have any guidance or containers or coping mechanisms to deal with that. You know, what I would try to explain to Sammy so often, and I try to explain to everyone is that we're all taking in 40 billion bits of information every millisecond and only consciously processing 2000 of them. But many children come into the world, maybe it's part of their soul path or contracts or growth or whatever, but they are processing a shit ton more than that. And all of us, I mean, I think that's what's happening with you when you started channeling is that you started taking in more than those 2000 bits per millisecond of the 40 billion, right? And so that's probably what was happening to you as a child.

You were getting all this input. And then we have these little bodies and brains that don't know how to deal with it. And you said that you kind of turned to food, which my oldest son, that's his crutch. My middle one was just isolating and shutting down from the world. And then eventually started his first experimentation really into drugs was what killed him because it was a counterfeit drug that he'd ordered on Snapchat. but I know we, and he, in his case, he was too stubborn. I would try to get him, you know, he would roll his eyes at my woo-woo stuff when I would try to take him to my healer friends or

psychic friends who were really good at helping empaths protect their energy. I would try to teach him, but he just really wasn't open to it. And I know so many parents are listening and either are that person that is taking in so much, especially now more than ever, or a parent of a child who it seems like they're acting out, seems like they're ADHD, seems like they're all over the place. But the truth is they're just taking in so much and they're so intuitive and sensitive. So I just want to ask for your thoughts on that and maybe your guidance to us, especially as parents of, of what, what we could do differently or what we could offer our children. It's interesting you bring all that up because I'm immediately remembering I was recording a workshop for Gaia TV a few weeks ago, and there was a whole channel in one of the sections I was recording for them.

And it talked about teenagers and it talked about try and put yourself in the position of a teenager who is essentially growing the adult equivalent of five years in every one year they're going through and trying to deal with it all. And it's a certain level of chaos for them, for their nervous system, for their personality. And it was saying, don't worry if they pull away from you. That's part of the design because they're suddenly trying to individuate. They're getting towards this very scary adult world and suddenly realizing it's not as coddled as childhood was. Unless, of course, you came from a very difficult childhood, which is a different story. But suddenly you're going to have to cope with all of this and the socialization with other kids, which, as we know, like the playground can be brutal. I mean, the playground is like the training ground for adulthood in a way.

So it kind of helped me understand why we often hear this thing about teenagers who pull away. And I also think as boys, I think we're hopefully at this point in time beginning to understand that boys need as much space held around their feelings as girls do. Girls just naturally take to it. And I think the way the culture has been, that's one thing girls are allowed. Whereas boys, you know, especially if you go back a couple of decades, it was just taboo for boys to talk about their feelings, think about their feelings. And it certainly wasn't safe. so I was one of those kids that even though my family was loving and still are to this day and even with my odd job you know I eventually had to come out about what I did with my job when it was

getting a bit too popular I could no longer hide it from from my family they were great I mean it's it wasn't their realm of understanding channeling was way out there for them but you know they loved and supported me and trusted I think my for my parents especially who is a bigger stretch for because of their generation yeah what they saw was the people who would come to my events that got helped yeah and they would talk to them and they they could understand that and so but I may not know what you're doing but we know it's helping people and we really appreciate that yeah and they met the people and they really like the people I'm like my favorite thing at those events was watching my parents talking to audience members at the end. Like that was just

like, you know, I just love that. And we don't have my dad anymore, but you know, one of my favorite memories of him was the very last event he came to in the middle of 2019 and how moved he was. So, but I think the interesting thing that the Zs were saying, the Zs are the names of my guides. Yeah. We're going to talk about all that. They were saying that parents have to be really vigilant about not being so hard on themselves and understanding that, yes, you're a custodian for this child in this being, but they've also come to be their own soul and to be their own person and to teach you things. And I do think in our culture, the line gets a little blurry for parents around, well, at what point am I in charge or in control of this being? And at what

point is this being free to be who they are? And I'm not talking about let them be reckless or put themselves in harm's way but express themselves fully and be totally accepted for who they are and you know the hard thing I think in our case and probably in yours too because you know I know you weren't out as a gay man or as a channel yet as your child you weren't even aware you both those things were my problem like I think they were that was two two big things that I was Those are big things to deal with. And in my son's case, you know, he had all the, I think, I mean, I'm sure we weren't perfect, but he, he loved being home. That was where it was safe and he was allowed to be himself. And, but he was judged. He just didn't fit in the rest of the world. Adults loved him, but kids were evil to him. And, you know, that, and in teenage years, that's all they want. life is not worth living in some ways or certainly not worth living without trying to do whatever you can to fit in, which is what he was doing. And so in retrospect, when you think back on your

earlier childhood, even if it wasn't your parents who probably didn't have the capacity to do much more than love you as they did, you know, and maybe this is something you don't even know yet. And I would love you to ask the Z's at some point, because I'm really curious about this. Is there something beyond? I mean, obviously the bare minimum we can do is accept our children for who they are and let them fully express and understand that they come through us, not from us. And we are their stewards and their guides, especially by the time they're six or seven years old, they're cooked. Now it's about just trying to keep the boundaries and letting them express as they need to express within reason and not projecting our fears onto them. But beyond that, I do feel like there's a whole generation of children in particular right now, like these under 12 kids who are super sensitive and empathic and are living in a world that doesn't know how to help them move with it. And so maybe we put a pin in this question for later, but I am curious if there's practical guidance of things we can teach kids and maybe parents to teach kids about ways to ground themselves, to put boundary, energetic boundaries up so that they're not feeling, you know, a highly sensitive people, you know, is what they call them, where they noisy, they hear so much and they don't like crowded spaces. and then they get misdiagnosed as being on the spectrum and then they're medicated, you know?

And so I'm just like putting that out there. I don't wanna go, I don't wanna derail our conversation because I have so many other things I wanna ask you about, but that is something I will respectfully ask you to ask the Zs at some point, unless they have something to say on that now. New from Nespresso, blend wellness into your coffee routine with the Coffee Plus range, infused with functional benefits.

Choose the coffee you love with added B vitamins, like coffee plus b12 to help support immune function and coffee plus b6 to keep your day moving or go with the flow and choose ginseng delight our new double espresso with ginseng extract whatever lies ahead don't change your morning let your morning change you discover coffee plus on espresso.com there's a couple things coming in and one is more personal to you and one is more general so i'll do the general the general is that if we as a culture can allow the conversation and the awareness of our feelings to just be a part of the daily conversation, that's enough. Like if you as a parent are helping the child acknowledge their

feelings and talk about their feelings in a way that's comfortable for that child, that's enough. And the reason I say that is the opposite would be invading a child's privacy around feelings or walloping them over the head with it, you know, not knowing, oh, this is my agenda or my fear, but actually just having enough language in the room and around yourself of being able to say, I'm really sorry. I spoke to you that way. I realized I just got upset. I had that strange thing when I was driving the car and it upset me and I didn't realize. And then I spoke to you too harshly. I'm really sorry. You know, modeling that too. So they see it with you, but they also have a space for it to be with themselves. And I think that's the most important

thing that you can do is to allow the feelings to be in the room. The other thing for parents, and I'm sure a lot of your listeners know this already, the child is going to bring you back to that age of your childhood, every age they go through. So if your 13th year was a really tough year, pay attention to what happens when your child hits 13. Because there is going to be a feedback loop in your life with this child it doesn't mean they will be a clone of you exactly but it does mean that there will be a crossover in the healing that's going on that year and then the last thing just about you know your boy is the power that you and your husband and your family are now going to come into as a result of his leaving was part of the design it's you guys

couldn't have gone to your next level of power as aware beings and as custodians of change on the planet. And when I say custodians of change on the planet, I'm always reminded by the Zs that a grandmother whose only real major job as she sees it is looking after that grandchild. You're a custodian of change on the planet. You don't have to be on Oprah's book club, which is often the way that our societal stuff conditions us. But we all have different roles and different makeup. But with your boy, that that's the thing that I hear. It's like the power that he is the power that once you're through the stages of grief that you need to get through that you, your husband and your family will now stand for and ripple across the world is magnified as a

result. And as hard as it can be for us to lose our loved ones, because none of us and especially I can't even imagine for you guys with your child. But the one thing the Zs say is that one of the biggest problems we have in our culture is we take life for granted. And the truth is any of us could go at any minute. And they say that as we go through our life, we have many exit points planned. So for example, I might have a hundred possible exit points in my life if I live to 67. And you could say, well, what's an exit point? It's just a moment where you could be hit by a car the gap between my human self and my soul gets very thin and there's an option for my soul to go are you done is this a good time for you to go

and is this the right time for everyone around you it's interesting again recent a recent channeling they talked about the effect that diana princess diana's death had on england And I remember being blown away at the time when that happened. I'd never seen such an emotional reaction in my country. And they said the timing of her death was the most powerful thing she ever did because of the way that she affected and opened the hearts. And of course, at the time, everyone's like, oh, my God, no one wants this for that, for the family, for our loss of her. Yeah. But but they said that was her her greatest act of power for the world because she activated hearts. So from their perspective, they're looking at things that we're here temporarily. Yeah, absolutely. We've been trained to get very attached to it all and go, oh, well, this is what I want to happen when I'm 20. When I'm 40, someone said I should be married and have a career, you know, all that stuff

that isn't true, that we have to break down from our cultural programming that actually isn't taking into account our spiritual life. Yeah, I love everything that you said. And I, I have gotten that message in so many ways. I mean, it doesn't make, well, maybe it does. I don't know. It's not like the loss isn't still unbelievably painful, but I am also aware already. I mean, that was one of the first things I said to my husband when he was like, you know, we were first that it just happened.

And one of the first things he said to me is we're going to make it through this. We're going to be OK. We're going to stay together. We're going to support each other. And I said, yes. And you have to be prepared that I'm going to come out the other side, a totally different version of myself. I have no idea what that's going to look like yet. But I know that every cell in my being is now changing energetically, spiritually, physically in every way.

Like I could feel it, know it. And you can't go through something like this, I don't think, without that happening. So I do feel like and I already see the impact that he's had and, you know, and he really wanted to have an impact on the world. So I understand all of that. And I also I believe that this is a stopover, you know, our lives and the way and I say this to my friends all the time when they're stressing about stupid stuff. And I kind of have the right to say it right now. Eventually, I'll have to stop. but I keep saying to them, look, in 30 seconds, your whole world can change. Like none of us know

anything that's going to happen 30 seconds from now. We can't. And life is so fragile and it's so precious. And I feel so, I mean, that's the irony is to be in that pain, but also feel so unbelievably grateful that I get to be here and that I'm still here and that I could not be, any of us could not be in a split second. And so, you know, you're just, you're confirming. So I really appreciate that, what I've been feeling and believing. And I think, you know, let's talk about the Zs because we've mentioned them a couple of times. This is the group. It's a group of energies, teachers, ascended masters. I mean, what do you call them? Well, I call them, I call them entities and a collective and I'll go back to when it happened

for me so first of all I was 23 and I was because of my childhood with you know I went to weight I was taken to Weight Watchers age 10 and I lost I think I think I lost like 15 pounds at the time which was seen as a success and then I was in and out of different diet clinics in my teenage years because I just you know ballooned and then lost the weight and ballooned and lost the weight because I was binge eating sugar. So then at the end of the whole thing, I had a moment where everything changed for me. And I went to a mixed school after being an all boys school that was very science and mathematics based, which was so not me. And suddenly I went to this creative college that was mixed. And then it was like my light came back and my soul came back. So I was

able to slowly, I think I lost like 60 pounds between the ages of 16 and 18. And I was smaller. But then I turned to bulimia because I hadn't been able to stop the binging, but I knew I didn't want to put the weight on. So I had bulimia for a couple of years. So long story short, by the time I'm 22, 23, I've already been very interested in metaphysics. I love going to tarot readings. I don't know why I feel so alive when I go for them, but I do. Something feels very alive in my system. And I had friends who would ask my advice and I would sometimes, I didn't know this at the time, I would feel intuitively what to say, but I didn't necessarily know it. So at 23, I'm on the London Underground, which is the tube train, the subway, going to my job. At the time,

I was working in fundraising while I was trying to get my music career going. And I was beating myself up in my head and I knew that very well. Yes, we all do. That evil roommate in our head who's telling us what to screw up. I was so used to those voices, right? So they're all chatting away about what I've done wrong or what I'm not good enough about and all that stuff. It's kind of normal. And then all of a sudden there's this voice from the left that says, that's an interesting theory, but you're wrong. And it was not, it was a different kind of voice and it was from outside your head and it was above and still to this day if I hear them it's always to my left and above my head now it's different for everyone by the way so I've other people experience it

differently and at first quite honestly I thought to myself is this multiple personality disorder do I have schizophrenia here really yeah which is what it was called back then and the one thing that I wondered you know I was like oh god this is gonna be awkward this is oh Jesus, you know what I'm going to do with this. But what was interesting was if the voice was multiple personality disorder, I got a really good one. Because the voice was like useful, authoritative, but never controlling or insistent, but just very clear. Like, you know, kind of felt like the elder friends that I had at that time who I went to for help. And so anyway, someone just a lot wiser and more together than you.

Totally. And not fazed by anything either. Not judgmental, not taking it personally. No wobbly emotions, you know, whereas these voices in my head were all accompanied by, so they told me why I was wrong about what I was thinking. And they explained how I was seeing it wrongly. And it was so clear. And all of a sudden it was like having a therapist tell me what the pattern of behavior was and say, no, this isn't their fault. This is yours. And here's why and I suddenly just saw it and it was so clear and I didn't feel judged so I wasn't defensive and and my whole being opened and I was kind of like this yeah and I suddenly just went

like this and I was like who is this what is this and they said well we're your guides and we've been with you since childhood but you haven't been able to hear us um they said but we're we're bigger than you we're a bigger group than your guides there are 88 of us some of us have been incarnate before on earth. Some of us have been incarnate in other places, but we're a collective consciousness. I wasn't very familiar with that term at the time, but I remember thinking, well, hang on, I've heard of channeling, but it's one thing. It's like Abraham, or I hadn't heard of Abraham at that time, but you know, I'd only heard of this one entity talking through people and they went, no, because there's never one entity. They said, even you are composed of all the people

that you've met and all the influences that you've had you're not one singular being so neither are we one singular being but you will hear it through this voice and you can call me Zachary um so that was yeah because I was gonna say how do 88 people agree on what they're going to tell you but they're like a collection of of immediate connection and consciousness so that I've never heard 88 people all at once you know I only ever I only ever hear it as a singular voice Yeah. But in a way, the way I've come to understand it, which has been helpful for me, Laura, is how many people do we think you are and how many people do we think I am? I mean, I'm about at least a million thousands of people, like, you know, with all the influences that people we've known, people we didn't know, but who laid down a pathway for our behavior before we got here. So, yeah, the reason they're called disease is the ones who came forward as spokespeople, there were three.

they eventually became one again it was around 2014 they said we're just going to speak as one group we're no longer going to individuate between the three spokespeople but the people who followed my work at the time referred to them as the Z's because they never knew which Z they were going to get so so that was kind of how it stuck and yeah I've been channeling them now for 22 years and publicly for 17. New from Nespresso blend wellness into your coffee routine with the Coffee plus range infused with functional benefits choose the coffee you love with added b vitamins like coffee plus b12 to help support immune function and coffee plus b6 to keep your day moving or go with the flow and choose ginseng delight our new double espresso with ginseng extract whatever lies

ahead don't change your morning let your morning change you discover coffee plus on espresso.com that's amazing and I and I think it is like having I mean I am more aware than ever and I've just started to connect I hear you know how I started to connect with my guides is when my spirit mother second mother like love of my life mother love incarnate in human form her name was Sandra Flowers and she died almost two years ago but after she died anytime like right now I can say her name was Sandra, but my, we called her Sasa. I say Sasa. And I immediately hear, yeah, baby, she's like right here on my left side. I don't really ask her questions other than, are you there? Or I'm scared, you know, cause like, it's not like we had, you know, she was more mother

love to me. She was like my nanny growing up and my mother more, and also my mother's mother in many ways, but she was very simple. You know, it wasn't like she read Plato or anything, you know? So, so, but I know that once we're not in these bodies anymore, we have access to everything, right? But is that an example of, because I sometimes think I'm crazy and I'm just manifesting her because I miss her. And it is a comfort to me. She's always right there on my left side. And she told me she would always be there before she died. But how do you know the difference? Well, you know, the way I, by the way, the reason you think you're crazy is we've been trained to think it's crazy. You know, if you go back to the witch trials that we have

since learned was just a really convenient way to get rid of an intelligent, outspoken or strong woman, accuse her of witchcraft. That was a really big thing back then. So we, it's interesting if you look at the fear that we have that we've been trained into around our spiritual life if it's organized and it goes through a church for example and it goes through a pastor or a priest and they have a direct access to god and they tell us then we believe it then it's different and and i noticed that in america that's a much more ingrained a culture in america than it is in england for example but we have been taught to fear judge and reject yeah and mistrust it like that can't be real i'm making it up but the way i would say to you is you know is it if you think

you're crazy is it actually helping you yeah or is it damaging your life no it's helping me but how do but i want to know the question i would say to ask yourself because for me i was like if I die and someone says to me and you know if there's a life review and they go oh by the way you didn't really have guides that was just John that was John on a tannoy and he was sending me messages I'm like okay I don't care like it still helps I'm not attached to the mechanics but I'm very attached to the effect yeah that's the effect is because the effect for me has been incredibly grounding and has actually made me a better person in the world, not a worse person in the world, then I'm like, okay, I'm, I'm good with this. Yeah. Whatever it is, I'm good with it.

Yeah. And I think that's a good thing to say to the doubting Thomas's out there, which I give voice to in my head. That's one of my gremlins. Cause I grew up with so many doubting Thomas's that sort of squelched that side of me from the time I was really little. So we all did, by the way we all we all grew up with doubt as the default yes yes so that's a really powerful suggestion you know that's why i always say i'm a big fan of unless it's a clinical trial i'm a big fan of the placebo effect because like regardless it's helping all right so we're going to continue this conversation okay lee perfect all right and if you want to learn more about lee harris go to leeharrisenergy.com you can find the links to

everything there, his books, his podcast, his YouTube channel, his energy predictions, his channeling. He's an amazing resource. And we will see you next time on the Language of Love. don't you wish you could just hit skip on the worst parts of your life you know the same way you can skip an ad i get it i'm siaya and i live in ice cove i've made some questionable decisions that didn't end up the way I planned. And today, I'm still figuring it out. Somehow, things usually get worse before they get better. Apparently, that's how I roll.

So bundle up and come along for the bumpy ride. Stream a new episode of North of North Tuesdays on CBC Gem. And here's the Mona Lisa. Gazing to Mona's eyes in perfect health with no undiagnosed problems and her optic nerve in excellent condition. Anyone here got eyes like Munna? Mine are brownish.

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