Language of Love with Dr. Laura Berman - Never Argue with a Dead Person with Manhattan Medium, Thomas John

Episode Date: November 16, 2022

As most of you know, I believe we’re all psychic. But in this episode of the Language of Love, I’m talking to a professional psychic medium who has a lot to teach us all! Known to his fans and celebrity clients as the, ‘Manhattan Medium’, Thomas John and I talk about his new book, Never Argue with a Dead Person: True and Unbelievable Stories from the Other Side. He shares thoughts on whether he thinks people have trouble crossing over to the spiritual side as well as ways being psychic has shaped his life, including:  How his psychic and medium abilities developed What it was like growing up psychic in a home filled with skeptics How to choose a medium that’s right for you Does he believe there are such things as evil spirits?  What role he thinks Covid has played in our spiritual evolution  Thomas John even did a reading on me! He connected with several of my loved ones on the other side, including my sweet son, Sammy. One relative he contacted, and called out by name, left me speechless. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hey, I'm Dr. Laura Berman, a sex and relationship therapist. And for the past three decades, I've been helping people learn how to love and be loved better. That's what we're doing here on The Language of Love, where I get to answer calls and emails from people just like you. My goal with The Language of Love is to help you discover more meaningful emotional and physical intimacy, and to help you build more awareness of how precious and sacred your sexuality really is. Be sure to email me or reach out with your very own love sex relationship

questions, and I might just answer them live on the air. It's time we all become fluent in the language of love. On this week's episode of the language of love, Thomas John is joining us. He's an internationally regarded psychic medium and clairvoyant. He's a well-published author and life coach. He's conducted hundreds of readings around the world, and he's grown into an international global psychic sensation who has entertained and amazed audiences around the world and counts many celebrities among his private clients. He has hosted sold-out events around the world and also had a televised series, Dinner with the Dead. He also has a wonderful book that I just finished called Never Argue with a Dead Person, True and Unbelievable Stories

from the Other Side. I am so grateful to share this conversation that I had with Thomas John. We talk about how his psychic and medium abilities developed. Are there such thing as evil spirits? Do people have trouble crossing over to the spiritual side? what is the role that COVID has played on our spiritual evolution and what are folks on the other side saying about that? And we also spent a little time with Thomas John connecting with my loved ones on the other side, including Sweet Sammy. But some surprising people came through

that I was pretty flabbergasted by, including one person in particular that didn't even occur to me and has a very unusual name. And Thomas John called it out. So it was really cool. I'm really excited to share this episode with you. So Thomas John, thank you so much, first of all, for taking the time to join us on the Language of Love. I'm so grateful to talk to you. I'm grateful to be here. Thanks for having me and inviting me. So I read your book and I thought, you know, there's so many great stories in there. The book is Never Argue with a Dead Person, which is a great title. And that's really a recurring theme is not only not to argue with a dead person, but that they have so much wisdom to share. I read in the book, and I know you've talked

publicly about this, that you started getting clairvoyant medium messages, messages from the other side or connecting with the other side, I guess, as early as age four, you remember. Can you share a little bit about that? Basically for me, yes, I did start to get messages basically since I could remember. And I feel like spirit has kind of always been somebody that's come forward and been around me. And I've always felt connected maybe more to the spirit world than I do even with the living world. But yes, I have received messages from the other side for a long, you know, basically since I can remember, I don't have any time period in my life that I remember where I didn't, you know, really receive messages. So I think it's something that

I just have kind of a natural ability that I have. Right. You just came in with it. Was it your grandfather? Because there was a story in the book about you being really little, one of your earliest memories. And you saw, I mean, because some people get messages or hear things, and I know you hear things and you see them.

Yes, I do receive clairaudience, which is hearing. I receive clairvoyance, which is seeing, claircognizance, which is knowingness. clairsentience, which is feeling. So yes, I do get all those types of spirit information. And I guess when you're little, you just think it's normal or you don't know any different. I hear so often, and I know this is true for me too, not that I was receiving messages or even to the degree that you are, but I would see fairies or I would connect with magic when I was really little. And then my parents and my sister would tease me and everybody would tell me. It was my imagination. And then I started to get scared of it because then when it would

happen, I wouldn't know how to handle it or what to do with it. And I knew it was wrong or not real and I must be imagining it. So I sort of shut that part off, which I think a lot of us do. Now, in your case, it obviously came in much more clearly and much more strongly. But I'm just curious how your family reacted to it because here you are, this little boy talking to your grandfather, who's not on the planet anymore. You know, how did your family respond? They were really not supportive of it at all. I mean, I would say probably they were led primarily by fear. I grew up in a really small, very, very small town, kind of like one of those places where everybody knows everybody and type of thing, Irish Catholic family. And so

they just responded, I guess, the way that their sort of defense mechanisms went along with. So my father was always, you know, anything that he didn't approve of or understand or, you know, anything like that was always anger. So he went to a place of anger all the time. And so if I brought it up, I would actually get punished or he would be mad at me or it would just create a problem. His father was actually the grandfather that visited me and he just could not receive that. And my mom was just more like her way, which is more anxiety and trying to fix everything and things like that. So it was kind of like not a positive thing growing up at all. And I sort of stepped away from it for a long time and actually didn't focus on it at all because every time it

was brought up in my family, it was just so scary. Yeah. Yeah. I can imagine. When did you come back? It was kind of like a series of things that really had nothing to do with each other. One thing was that I sort of separated energetically and kind of went on my own path. So I ended up going to college and I moved away from my family and my parents got separated and divorced. So it was kind of like I was on my own energy. And I think just me being separate from them, it was able, like I wasn't in that household. So it was easier for me to like kind of process stuff.

I also, I think unknowingly at the time, but I did start in college, sort of a spiritual practice of meditating. I really actually did it primarily because I had a lot of social anxiety. and I went to like the campus guidance counselor or something. And they, they said, oh, you should take this meditation class and it's an elective and you can use it for, you know, PE credit or something. And I was like, oh, okay. So I just did that. And I started to really get into meditation. And I noticed that when I did that, it kind of like calmed my mindset. So that was another thing that helped. And then also losing some people around that time I ended up, cause like up until

that point, I really hadn't lost anybody that I was super close, close to. Both of my grandfathers had passed, one I never knew, one I wasn't, I was close to him. But then as I got older, you know, I lost like a close friend, I lost another close friend. My grandmother passed who I was close to, I kind of like a wanting to connect with them. And so like all those things together sort of brought in that for me. Yeah. And so you started getting messages from them. There were a couple of things that I really wanted to dive into with one, which I completely agree with, but I find so many in society struggle with maybe because of the way media portrays the other side or religion does in many cases. You write a lot about how that the spirits are amazing guides,

that they're really about love and light, that we don't take any hate or anger or sort of those aspects of our personality with us. And there's this beautiful part, I'm not going to quote it correctly, but where you talk about how really your spirit guides or those loved ones on the other side are like your best friend who just understands the universe and can guide you. Maybe you can't predict the future, but really is so wise and so oneness infused that they really are a beautiful and wonderful resource and guide. But I just wanted to let you opine on that a little bit. Do you ever come across spirits? There's this idea of like there are these evil spirits that want to do you harm. Can you comment on that? Yeah, it's not something that I have

really experienced. So in terms of like evil spirits or demons or things like that, I mean, I guess I can't say that they don't exist because I guess it's possible that they could have and and they do, and I'm just not aware of them. The way that I orient myself is when I communicate, I see a spirit world that is a, there's no physical illness on the other side, because there's no bodies on the other side. It's a non-physical experience. It's a spirit-based experience, which, you know, we have spiritual experiences all the time. Our world here is so physical driven. You know, we're so focused on, oh my God, I'm fat. Oh my God, I'm ugly. oh my god i'm this oh my god that person's beautiful that's kind of where we our mindset is

so that is a very spirit directed place and the other side is yes and so that is more we're really more focused in that realm of things i don't see anything or you know no one's ever made a reference to pain or things like that as far as things like you know evilness or somebody's got a bad energy or something like that. I mean, I think there are levels in the spirit, of course. So somebody's afterlife is different depending on different experiences and different things. But I have to say, I've never encountered a spirit that I would describe as like evil. I've never come across that. And do any of them struggle? Like, do you ever come across people that are struggling to kind of cross over and to the spirit world? You know, you hear about that.

I think that could be something that happens or they struggle with the transition or they struggle with letting go of the physical reality or they struggle with that stuff. Yes. How does that manifest? Like, what does that look like in action? I mean, can you help them or how do you know they're struggling? Like, how do you become aware of that? Is it that you're just tapping into something or an entity appears to you and you're aware and they share with you that they're struggling? How does it come across?

They may share it. They may communicate it. they may say, it just depends. I think it depends different ways that they communicate that you may sense that in the reading. But in general, I find that people go to spirit, and they embrace going towards spirit. And they're really sort of in the light. And they're sort of in that kind of that mindset. And I think that that's the way I see it. So yeah, I thought it was really interesting and made a lot of sense to me. And all the stories were really different

that you share in the book of these conversations you've had or these experiences you've had as a medium and clairvoyant. And I forget what you actually called it. There's a word you use, but it's basically that in the beginning of each reading or as you are communicating messages,

there's this very important period of validation or of convincing that you do. It's almost intentional where you're like getting some really good information about that other person or about the relationship that no one else could really know. Do you remember what I'm talking about? There was a term that you used. Do you remember what it is? It was a really interesting term that is evidently common in the world of medium and psychics, like where this is intentional and it makes so much sense because people are skeptical, right? I mean, for the most part, we want to

believe it. But then there's this, yeah, is it really true? So that's one of the things that I think is so cool about living the life you do. And even what you said that from a very early age, it would just was. So unlike many people who really have to build faith, you kind of always had it, which is nice. Yeah, I think there is to an extent there. I also think too that besides that, I also think too, I mean, I even have, you know, doubt sometimes too, even though, you know, I think it's actually natural to sort of have that progression and doubt things. And, you know, we have that natural because we are in a physical world here where, you know, it's a lower vibration. And I think that that comes in for all of us, you know, where we go into that place. You know,

I think it's just, it is an important thing and stuff, you know, and I think, I don't know. I I mean, I think that that is, it's just a reality, you know, part of the human condition. Yeah. I mean, you shared in some stories, especially when you had some tough clients that were big doubters, right? Like you can get nervous that like, am I going to really get it or am I going to hit on it? Right. Cause you're human too.

So that makes sense to me. Has COVID changed things in your work or what are people saying on the other side about it all? Have you gotten any messages about COVID? I mean, certainly that is a dynamic that comes in. I mean, in certain ways, there's tons of similarities to other things. But of course, there's loss. Of course, there's people having doubt. Of course, there's people wanting to have personal conversations. Of course, there is people that are sharing insights. So I think a lot of it is very similar, but there is that in the background and stuff like that. And I think for many people that there's been sort of a spiritual component of things where people have done a little bit of extra, you know, maybe deep diving and stuff and sort of, you know, kind of trying to tune in that way and stuff. So, yeah, I have definitely found that a lot of the spiritual teachers are talking about this idea of ascension, right, that we're all going through this spiritual ascension right now. And COVID was probably a big catalyst for that because as we couldn't go outside anymore, we had to go inward.

and as our things, our societal structure and our home life and everything was becoming chaotic with all the pressure on the system and things started breaking down, we started breaking open. And, you know, my guess is, I'm curious from your perspective, but my guess is that the people coming to you for readings, because I'm certainly seeing it in my work, that people are more open than ever before to just connecting with their own spiritual. I think so. I do think that that is something that I have noticed and stuff. And I think that's been a gradual thing. I remember when I started doing my work, professional readings over 10 years ago, that even in terms of the number of mediums, it was funny. I was talking about this with one of my friends the

other day about just in different things, but it was about how seeing a medium, it's kind of like a different thing. You know, it was something where, you know, you might have to get referred to somebody or you might have to, but I think there's a lot of expansion in a lot of different spirituality and creative fields and things like that, where it's just, there is a more of an accessibility to things. And I think some of that is good. And some of that also, you know, you want to be cautious of certain things as well, you know, so. Like what? What do you want to be cautious. I mean, the number one thing that comes to mind is that there are so many people where mediumship is accessible to them. And that's a great thing. I think it also can lend itself a

little bit to people, not necessarily having a bad intention. It's actually a lot of times it's well-intentioned, but people that, you know, they may be, you know, they're like, oh, I'm a medium, You know, and they haven't gone through the steps of doing that, unfortunately, or maybe it's fortunately or I don't really know. But, you know, in my profession, there's it's not like a psychologist or you have to get a credential. Right. Anyone can say I'm a medium. Right. And so you just have to be kind of aware of just sort of different things to be aware of and sort of what aspects there are and things like that. I think that is something to sort of think about is that, who are you working with, you know, and things like that. And I truly believe that there's a medium for everybody. I think that

that's why some people will say to me, like, you know, like, I've had people like even people that are close friends of mine, and they don't necessarily want to have a reading with me, maybe they feel it's too personal, or they feel like I'm too close to them. And they may ask me for like a referral. And it's sort of hard for me to refer someone to somebody in that way, because of course I know there's a certain level of people that I know are professional. I know they're good people. I know that they do great work. So of course I'll think of those people, but it's hard to know. You may not connect with that person. That person may not be a medium that is for you. So I think it just depends on so many different factors. So how do you know,

like if someone wants to, because lots of people listening to this who maybe weren't aware of you before. I have a large audience that is definitely into this stuff. A lot of them are mainstreamers just sort of coming into this. So besides coming to you, which I know they can do and they can read your book and they can schedule a reading with you, what kind of questions should someone be asking themselves or a potential medium that they're going to work with? Or what should they be looking for to make sure that they're getting the right kind of reading that will really serve them? Yeah. So the first thing is, is that I would say is that when you want to look for a personal connection, so you want to go with somebody that you feel for whatever reason drawn to,

in general, I tell people, read somebody's book, go to one of their live events, you know, go and, you know, book a workshop with them, check them out on, you know, their Facebook Live or Instagram live. I mean, many of us are very accessible. You can ask for referrals, you know, but always remember also that, you know, you want to feel that personal connection. When you work with a medium, always keeping in mind that the medium should be providing you the information, not the other way around. So they shouldn't be needing to ask you a lot of questions. They do need you in general to validate information. So you do have to kind of say, oh, if you understand things and stuff. But I do tell people to be careful because this is a common thing, especially with people

that are grieving, where they just have like an inherent need where they want to just share stuff. I always tell people too, and some people get mad at me for saying this, but I always tell people mediumship is not grief therapy. It's not psychological therapy. A lot of people do come and tell me that they get a lot of benefit and they do feel better in their grief or they feel in more control of it. Or they feel that I've had people say this, which I think is very interesting, where some people have told me that they feel that they are allowed to grieve now because they're out of the PTSD, whatever that is, of where they feel like, well, where is my loved one? It's almost like because they know their loved one is okay, they can step into grief

now. So I think that that is something that happens for people too. But I think that I always tell people, you know, you have to be prepared to have a reading. Some people come and they really are. It's like they're not that you can't be grieving, but it's almost like they're in such an acute stage of grief that it's almost a little bit harder to for them to really process the reading. So it's just a very individual thing. I think it depends on so many different factors. Calculating route to avoid seeing poverty. Turn left to bypass the unhoused youth sleeping on the street. Then keep right to skip by the lines of people waiting for food. Steer clear of the crowded shelter turning people away. Then take the next exit. Let's stop looking away and get in the

way of rising poverty. Your donations help the United Way fight poverty in thousands of ways, like providing food, shelter, and crisis prevention. Donate today at unitedwaygt.org. I do think that it gives definitely a sense of validation. And for those who are worried, is my loved one OK? Are they in hell? Have they transitioned? Whatever. Then it's really helpful from that standpoint as well. But I also think that it's a beautiful way to and we're going to do you're going to do a little reading for me with Sammy in a minute. But it's a beautiful way, in my experience, if you're working with someone really good like you, to confirm and strengthen the connection, because the idea is that energy never dies, right? Our human form dies, but energy lives forever. It just changes form. And so part of my journey a year plus out, and I wouldn't be able to have this conversation a year ago, is really starting to connect more with him in that form. And it feels to me like the kind of work you do supports that because as people get those messages or have that opportunity to communicate with your help with those who have crossed over, it allows them to not only believe in that truth, that energy never dies and that our loved ones are still with us just in a different form and that they're still guiding us and that they're still there for us. but it also allows us to kind of continue to foster a relationship with them. I think that's a big, big, big thing for sure. And yeah, that is something that I think is

actually a big aspect of that. And like I said, it kind of allows you to kind of, you know, step into that new energy and new way of sort of relating to things in a way. Yeah. And relating to them. So, all right, well, maybe this is a good time. Are you willing to see if Sammy's around and wants to come in. Let's see what happens. Yeah. Have you experienced readings before? Have you had that experience of connecting to a loved one through a medium? I have. Yes, I have. Never with you. I've never had the opportunity to work with you, but I have worked with a few friends that did some medium work and have had that experience before. Yes. Okay. Okay. I'm a believer. So what I call it, kind of call it as I

open the door and I bring in what comes through. And as soon as I do that, you know, I don't necessarily have a way of controlling who comes in. You know, it's really just, I open that door and I see who comes in. We'll just kind of go from there and see where we relate and stuff. And I got lots who could come in. So any of them are welcome. Sounds good. So I'm just going to set an intention that anything that I feel, hear, see, or know would be in for your highest good to kind of help you and help you on your path. So hold on one second, please. This is what I'm hearing in my mind. It's more of I'm hearing a thought in my mind, but I hear somebody or somebody, I don't even know who this is that's

saying this, but I hear somebody saying, everyone's here, everybody's here, everyone's here, everyone's here, everyone's together in here. I think it is one of those situations where you do have a group of people that are coming in. It's not just one person. I feel like it's multiple people. I'm feeling like one message that they would want to bring through is that they are all together over there and that there's a whole group of people that are kind of coming in in sort of almost like a pack, I want to say, but there's, there's feels like there's a group of people here. I do want to say that I feel a father energy coming through, Laura. So am I correct in feeling that your dad is on the other side? Yes. Almost like I want to say that he was

kind of a character. Does that make sense to you? Yes, he was. I just feel like he has a, to me, a very colorful type of personality. And I feel like he's even showing me that this is something that could be a positive thing sometimes. And I feel like it's sometimes something that maybe it could be a challenging part of who he was.

He definitely is somebody to me that I feel is like he's going to do things his way. He's going to march to the beat of his own drum. I feel him being like that very much. I don't know if you'd understand that, but I feel him to be very much like,

It's almost like, I don't care what people think. I don't care what you, you know, what, however other people want me to be. I'm, I'm going to kind of be my own way of doing things. Do you understand that? Yes. He definitely was that for good and for bad. That's what I'm saying. Feeling.

I kind of get the feeling is I'm getting a sense when I step in with him that I could see you appreciating this maybe more as an adult. I am sort of feeling that maybe when you were younger, that it was maybe more challenging. I don't know why I feel that. So I don't know if it's like you were close to him when you were younger, but for some reason it feels like as an adult, I see you having more of like, okay, I understand this now and I kind of see how my dad is type of thing. I don't know.

Does that kind of make sense to you? Well, I was definitely, he was very, he could be very flamboyant and provocative and inappropriate. And so I would get really embarrassed when I was a kid, especially a teenager. Yeah. I mean, there was a part of me and I can be that way too. his being that way gave me the freedom to be that way to a certain extent, which I think I also appreciated more in adulthood, for sure. Yeah. So you definitely had that more, yeah, more than adulthood. Now, I want to say also, I feel, because I know you were asking

about this, I feel like there's not a long, long distance between, because I know you were asking about your son. I don't get that there's a long distance between your father's passing and your son's passing. Like I feel either like maybe a couple of years or it doesn't really, does that make sense to you? Yeah, no, it was a couple, it was at most a couple of years, maybe a little bit less. Yeah. And I also want to tell you too, that I'm feeling this. I get with your father that there's a, it's almost like he, I don't know how to explain this to you. I kind of almost want to say like a Renaissance man. Like I sort of feel somebody where it's like he had a very analytical side to him and he was very smart but he also was like very creative in the way he thought about

things and stuff like i i feel both elements with him do you understand that absolutely he was in fact we would call him a renaissance man because he was like that yes calculating route to avoid seeing poverty turn left to bypass the unhoused youth sleeping on the street then keep right to skip by the lines of people waiting for food steer clear of the crowded shelter turning people away then take the next exit. Let's stop looking away and get in the way of rising poverty. Your donations help the United Way fight poverty in thousands of ways, like providing food, shelter, and crisis prevention. Donate today at unitedwaygt.org. So I want to just tell you that it feels like when I'm connecting to him that he is, in a way,

I feel really kind of showering you with love and honoring you. I feel that he's aware of the journey that you've been on. And I feel that he's given me the feeling, I don't know if it's because like maybe because he was a parent too or what, but I feel like he's understanding and knowing about, I feel like kind of what you're going through or I do feel that very, very much. I do want to tell you, I don't know if I'm starting to tune into your son now. I'm not sure, but I kind of feel like I am maybe going in with a little bit with your son. So I'm getting a few things. One thing is they're wanting me to talk about a dog that's in the spirit. So I feel that there's a dog and see, I don't know why I feel now I'm more with your son. So I mean, of course,

anybody in spirit could know about anything or bring anything up. But I sort of feel like I clicked in more with your son now. So your son is showing me being with a dog. That's the first image that he showed me. I also want to tell you this too. I just got this very, very strongly. your son was a very old soul yeah and i feel that being his mom you would definitely know that and i'm aware as i'm tuning in with him a little bit now i'm aware that you do you have other kids besides your son that passed no not the past i mean i had you have other living children i have living two other living children okay because it's not anything bad about them i'm not saying that they're not, but I'm just saying when I tune into your son who passed, that he was a very old

soul, like even when he was little, like the way he would talk about things or, you know what I'm saying? Absolutely. He was ancient. Yeah. That's what I'm feeling. And he's just kind of giving me the feeling of like, mom, I was always wired like this. I was always, you know what I'm saying? I was always different. I was always, I always had a different way of thinking about things. I just was always very different. And I want to say too, I don't know if you understand this, but I feel about this. Do you have anything or anything that I would be understanding about this where I see you may have some of his writing? Do you have any of his writings or things that he wrote that you've kept? Anything like that, that I might understand at all? It's interesting you say that

because I was just thinking about this the other day that I want to go back. I felt this urge to go back and find his writing. And he did write. I remember when he was like in fourth or fifth grade, he decided to write because he was dyslexic and had ADD. So he didn't tend to do a lot of schoolwork or he could. He was brilliant, but he didn't like to. When he was little, he wrote this profound story that I don't even remember what it was about. But I remember being like, holy crap, I can't believe this kid just wrote this whole very complex, long story, and I was going to go back and find it. Okay. So he could be talking also maybe then about a thought that you've had, like if you were recently thinking about his writing, you know what I'm saying? That kind

of makes sense that he could be maybe bringing that up. He was a wonderful writer. I used to tell him he should write because he was very articulate and when he wanted to, he could write beautifully. Yeah. For some reason I'm feeling this and I, and for some, I don't know why that's coming through, but I definitely feel something about that. I also want to say too, because I'm feeling about this or hearing about this. Do you understand something where I would be hearing from your mother and your mother is telling me something about you helping her transition or you helping her at the end? I almost want to say that you must have known that she was going to be passing and you prepared her to pass or something. I don't know. Is that, is that true?

I did. I did. And I helped her. I think I helped her. I mean, I pass, I helped her let go. Yeah. That's what I'm feeling. I feel like she's telling me that you helped her pass. And I almost feel like she's giving me the feeling that, I don't know, that's what I'm feeling and stuff. It almost is like, maybe it was like, I don't want to say that she wasn't ready to pass, but I definitely feel she was ready, but she also, which I'm sure is common, you know, was struggling to let go. Yeah. I think she was scared a little bit. Yeah. Yeah. That's what I feel. I feel something where she's, she showed me that where she feels that you, you actually, you know, you helped her to transition and stuff. So I feel like she's very, very thankful about

that, I feel. I don't know why this is coming in, but I just, for some reason, this came in now. Do you speak to her brother? Not very often. No. I mean, I have, but I'm really not in contact with him, but he's still here. He's still here. And is he kind of one of the relatives that would have like, is he kind of one of the main relatives that would have a central connection to her? The only one probably. Oh, okay. Yeah. Left. okay but you don't it's not like you talk to him all the time okay okay let me just ask you because i am feeling about this or i'm hearing about this would you understand anything that i would be seeing about this where let me just ask you about this so one thing actually two things so one thing

is is i think i'm back with your son oh and also can i just ask you do you know somebody in spirit at Duke? Yes. That's my father-in-law, Sammy's grandfather. Okay. Did he pass though? Yes. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Is Dookie here? I'd love to. Well, like I told you, there is definitely a group of people. And I feel like your son is kind of like, I don't know if it's too, I mean, I'm trying to kind of connect the dots of, you know, why, but I'm thinking maybe part of it is that because he is younger to pass, that he is wanting to express that he's with people that love him. He's with people that he's able to connect with over there. Also, I need to tell you this because I got a very, very strong feeling about this. I feel like your son is telling me

that it's something like this. I want to say happy, but he is sort of validating, I almost think like the decision of there's something where after he passes, it's almost like you could have dug in the thing. You're going to make me cry. And I think that it's almost like your son, not that you wouldn't be totally in your right to do that. I get the feeling of your son being like some things are just better off not, you know what I'm saying? Yeah, that was his father. I wanted to go through, we had to give, cause I'm fine giving you information, but I know you don't want me to, but it's pretty publicly known how he died, but it was very sudden. And I wanted to understand what led up to the mistake he made that led to his death. And we had to give his

phone and the computer and everything to the police. And I wanted it back because I want to go through it. And my husband kept saying that, like, I don't think there's anything on there that we are going to want to see. And my husband's opinion was just like, don't dig there. And I really wanted to dig and wanted to see everything, even though I probably wouldn't like what I saw or there'd be things that were private to him that he would have never wanted me to see. You know, even if he had lived to 85, he wouldn't have wanted me to see. I feel like he's probably talking about that. And I think that there is some sort of thing that he's bringing up about that where he's, I mean, I do feel like that's coming

up. I don't see it as a bad thing or anything. I just feel like he's saying that you, you know, consciously made that choice. And that was a choice that was whatever made. And I feel like I'm getting the feeling that he's more like in line with that. Like he feels like you made the right decision, I feel. Because I basically feel that you do know pretty much the identity of the person who is responsible in some way for this, right? I do. Yeah. It's more than just, well, we think this happened or we kind of think that happened. It's more like, I feel like, you know, the person's name, right? Yeah. The police do. Yeah. But nothing's going to happen from it. Right. And that's kind of what I'm feeling where he's like,

it's almost like I'm feeling that he, you know, he understands that. And it's not like something where he really wants you to kind of dive into that. I don't know. That's what I feel, though. I do get a feeling of him. I don't know if you could understand this, but I do get a feeling about him explaining to me by the way i don't know if you're in a second house we are we moved from the house where he last lived recently yeah so you're in another house another house in kind of another area right yeah you're not like i mean i don't feel like you moved to another like state or something but i feel like another neighborhood yeah very different environment yeah so you're in a new environment type of thing right he knows about that i mean i do feel like

spirit people, they keep track of things, you know, so they kind of know what we're doing and they keep in touch. And I feel like he would take an interest in that. It looks like a woolen, I don't know exactly what it is, but it looks like a woolen sweater. And I don't know if you, I mean, do you have a sweater of his? I do have something cozy, but I don't have a sweater. I kept his fleece bathrobe. Okay. Okay. And this is something that you do have of his? I do. Yeah. And let me ask you also, is this something, I don't want to say wearing, but is it something that you, you know, you hold or you have? I mean, it's kind of ridiculous, but it's, it still smells like him. And so I like treasure

it and I wrapped it. I wrapped it in like saran wrap to make it keep the smell, you know, so it wouldn't air out. And every once in a while when I give myself permission, cause I don't want to lose his smell. I open up a little part and stick my nose in it. Yeah. So I think he could be bringing this up because I mean, to me, I experienced it like a sweater, but I think that makes sense and stuff. I mean, that makes sense that it's something that he's, I think it's something that he's just kind of bringing up and stuff. Do you understand anything where I would be seeing this, but I feel something, I think pretty recently, but he's showing me something where, I don't know if you were recently, or I don't know what the significance of this is,

but I, I see a grasshopper. Yeah. Okay. I've been seeing a lot of grasshoppers. Okay. And I think that they do a lot of things and I feel like it's one of those things. In fact, spirit tells me a lot of times that, you know, 50% of the signs that come through, we often miss because we're just in a different vibration. You know what I'm saying? Let me ask you this. Cause I just need to bring up one thing. I don't want to derive too much, but you know, it's like they, they start coming into things. I don't want to ignore something. Could you understand from your mom that she would be telling me that she loved you a lot, but there are certain things that she would maybe do a little bit differently now that it's like, she's on the other side,

she's had her life review. She sees everything. She's kind of in a higher perspective. I don't know if you, did you have like tension with her or something? I didn't have tension, but I was a very parentified child. And in recent years, a lot of the healing that I've been doing has been about the ways in which she wasn't able because she hadn't been mothered in a really whole way. Like the only way that she could mother me is if I filled her tank was sort of transactional. She couldn't really give me her whole attention or really be present with me in my pain. She was very loving and very supportive, but she was emotionally limited in how much she could soothe or parent me in that way. And I want to ask you one other thing,

but not one other thing, other things. So the grasshoppers then, that could just be, so you've noticed that a lot as maybe- Well, especially since moving into this house. And the other day I was walking down these steps outside and this thing just like zoomed past me and then landed on the ground in front of me. And I was looking at it. And for a split second, you know, cause I'm always, I'm like, Sammy, is that you? And then I was like, I'm being stupid.

That's a grasshopper. So it's funny that you just said that. But I think that could also be his way of saying, you know, that, you know, signs come to us in all different ways, you know? So it could be something where he's saying, hey, you know, pay attention to everything. I don't know.

I just, I kind of am feeling that. I did want to ask you too, also, I just feel this very, very loving, feminine energy coming in. Let me just ask you this. I want to just go back to this. Do you understand with your son where he would be telling me, your son that passed, where he would be telling me that I kind of get a feeling of like a gerbil wheel type of thing. It's almost like I feel like he's trying to give me the feeling that he kind of got caught

up in something that was like a little bit too much for him. Yeah. And it's almost like I don't know how to get out of this. And I feel like he was a little ashamed about this. Not saying that he should be, but I'm just saying I feel that he felt almost like embarrassed or almost like, oh, my God, I don't know what to do. But it's like I feel kind of like that type of feeling where he's kind of showing me that. I don't know if you do you understand that a little bit? Well, yeah. I mean, what killed him was fentanyl poisoning. And he had been so desperate to be accepted by someone because the kids were so mean and rejecting of him that he found this group of kids that would only hang out with him if he did drugs and we wouldn't let him do drugs. and then a drug dealer reached out to him on snapchat and delivered him to the house like pizza and he decided to try something wanting to impress these friends and this girl that he was interested in so and then it was it killed him because it was fentanyl it was counterfeit yeah okay so he could be maybe bringing that up then that it was kind of like something where he did in a way kind of get not stuck, but he kind of got on this.

He was pretty stuck. I mean, he was begging us to let him smoke pot or to use cannabis because then he could be accepted and have friends. And I kept saying, I'm not willing to, as your parent, as much as a part of me wants to say, yeah, go ahead, smoke a joint to have some friends. I'm not going to say that. And he was like ruminating and obsessing on it and trying to find a way but was unwilling to go out there and also it was starting to be covid but he was unwilling to go out there and make other friends or he never liked taking classes because even extracurricular classes because he was always smart he liked learning on his own because he was smarter than everyone else in the room and also i think he socially struggled so he was on

this like obsessed he would get really obsessive about things and he was so smart that he just wouldn't stop so i understand the hamster wheel because that was his brain and he would just become ruminating on it and being intense upon it and wouldn't stop talking about it and was like seeking a solution to the problem but with his 16 year old underdeveloped brain of understanding consequences so yeah that makes sense i think that's probably what he's showing me that he's trying to explain sort of exactly what he's experiencing and stuff and i feel that he yeah i just think that that's where his mind was very much that he was you know kind of yeah like just kind of, I also feel that he is one thing that he's bringing to my mind too, is that your

spouse and you are really dealing with this in a very different way. And, and he's not saying it's, you know, bad or anything like that, but he's just kind of, he keeps bringing that up about it. Sort of, he keeps talking about that, that it's kind of like you guys are dealing with this in very different ways and stuff. And I feel like he's trying to kind of just let you know, I guess that both ways are okay. I don't know. I just feel about that. We definitely are feeling very differently.

Yes. And I work hard, even though I can be, I can feel like my way is the best way. I work hard letting him be okay with his way. But like one thing that I don't like is, you know, it's very hard for him to see pictures of Sammy or be reminded if he's not already thinking about Sammy

to be reminded of it. And I would have pictures of him all over the place if I could. So I have these certain corners of the house where I have his pictures, but not in central locations because his dad just has a really hard time with it. So it's like those kinds of things that are just very different. Yeah. I want to say also too, who is this woman that I keep feeling that's coming through that it's like, it's almost like she passed young, not young, like your son, but she passed

kind of younger. I think I know who she is, but I'm not going to, I won't tell you. This is how I'm getting her personality. Okay. Her personality is, I don't want to say drag queen, but I want to say like, she's kind of a diva. Yeah. oh that's how i'm getting her to be like she's kind of like she's sassy yeah like a diva she's

kind of like got a personality i don't get not a diva like somebody who's like vain it's not like that but the way she carried her energy she's had a good personality yeah i almost kind of get like a um sort of like a goddess feeling like that's how she's coming through to me that she very very very very very loving i it's like i almost feel like i want to just wrap you in a hug and squeeze you type of woman. I feel that she was probably very affectionate. I get more of a connection of somebody that's not bio family, but very much family. If you'd understand that, not like a family. Yeah. And I see her being very close to your mom because she's giving me the feeling that. Ah, you're going to make me cry again.

Yeah, she was her. They were best friends. Yeah. She's telling me that she's she's with your mom. And it's kind of like, I feel she helped your mom a lot. I feel that I don't necessarily feel that it's like, I feel like she had a hard life, actually, this woman, but she had a lot of blessings in life, I feel. And she's just giving me the feeling that I'm kind of feeling now that I'm sort of getting the whole dynamic and I'm having these different I'm kind of feeling like, where there was times where your mom just like she couldn't go there. Like, I feel like this woman was there. Oh yeah, absolutely. That's exactly the nature of their relationship. And she would pick my mother up by the bootstraps and be

like, ah, this is what we're doing. That's kind of what I feel like I was going to tell you. That's why I said kind of like diva. Cause I could kind of feel her being like, no, you're not doing that. Like, you know, you don't let him talk to you that way. You don't. Yeah. She was like my mom's spine. She would make her rise to the occasion and dust her off. You know, my mother's tendency was to just curl up in a ball or let herself be mistreated or become immobilized. This woman whose name was Sandra, I called her Sasa, was basically my babysitter and like mother's helper from the time I was a little girl. But then ultimately, you know, I like to say she was the mother, you know, she was like my, the mother I never had. And also like the mother,

my mother never had, even though she was actually younger than my mother. She was like that. Yeah. And it's kind of like how they are in that realm. You know, they're, they're sort of like, in a way their, their energies are all, you know, connected and stuff, I feel. And I feel like there is a connection with all of them and stuff. Also, I just saw something, your son is telling me this are you trying to tap more into your creative side are you trying to open up to that side of things a little bit more for yourself absolutely yeah I have been starting to and definitely want to more absolutely finally yeah that's kind of what I'm feeling and stuff that they're sort of like however you're doing that and stuff but I feel such an energy of that and

stuff especially from your son and spirits I'm sure assuming I feel he's probably aware of that you know so your son is also showing me too I'm getting the message that however you want to honor his memory it's kind of like he's telling me you know this is your decision to make so however you honor my memory is you know there's not a bad way of doing it there's not anything like that I just feel like I'm seeing that you know so yeah I get that sense and stuff so but like I said I feel that he was you know even though maybe he had these you know typical teenage struggles but I I see him being so, I don't know, I just kind of feel him being so, such an evolved spirit, you know? He really was.

And very few people could see that. Adults did. Adults loved him. But kids, you know, had a hard time with him. And he never really fit in. So I hope, I mean, it's good to hear. I assume everyone's happy in oneness. Yeah.

And it seems like he's with, you know, a group. You know, he's over there that do love him, that do, you know, accept him and that do connect to him and stuff. So I feel like he's got, you know, people over there and stuff that he really loves. And what do they do? Like, what are they? I know there's no time, but are they all just enjoying each other's connection? I mean, what are they? Yeah, that's basically what they are doing. And everybody's also on their own path, too. It's just like you have people in this world right now that you love. Yeah. They're not necessarily people, you know, just because someone's not on the phone with you right now doesn't mean that they don't love you.

Yeah. You know, so on your path and spirit to your you're doing your own stuff, too. You're doing your own learning, your own spiritual growth, too. That's just how it is, you know. And is there anything I mean, I know they tell you what to say versus questions from me. but the one question I have, I guess, is, is there anything he has to say or any of them have to say? Because my intention is really to hear them more, to connect with them more, to see the signs, to get their guidance, because I know that they have a lot to say. I think the door is

opening for you. I mean, the unfortunate part of things is that through a loss, a lot of times that does crack the door open, you know, where you just start to connect in a little bit of a different way. A lot of people have that experience. So it kind of is a vibrational, like, you know, you tend to kind of go up a little bit, especially when it's a traumatic one like that, or, but anyone really, I mean, you know, parents or whatever you, but this is a big loss. So it's almost like what I see, the metaphor that I'm seeing is that the door was always a little bit open with you. You've always had an, definitely an intuitive side and empathic side. I feel like you do, you know, you pick up on things, maybe more than the average person. But now I feel like

it is opening more. And I do think that I do feel that you can and will, you know, it's really like almost in a way, the way I see it is it's like learning a new language. You don't do it overnight. But over time, you start to and then you start to pull from those experiences. And then it starts to become more, you know, it's just like if you took a French class for a week. I mean, if you went to france you know you wouldn't be speaking fluid french but you would maybe know a couple words you know and then it kind of builds and stuff so the more you immerse yourself in it the more that it just becomes a part of the way that your spirit communicates to you so yeah i feel that and i do feel really only over the past three to four six months maybe that i've

even been ready to kind of do that because i was so deeply in the grief for so long so this is perfect timing as are all things. And I know you have another book coming out soon about tapping into your intuition, right? I'm excited to learn more about that. Maybe you'll come back and share some of that wisdom with us as well when that time comes. Yeah, I would love to. I thank you so much for spending time, for sharing your wisdom, and also for helping me connect to, boy, the whole crew, even Duke, which I love that you, I mean, how the hell would you have known that name that's my random people come in and stuff i mean i i love that he's with family that's really sweet good well thank you so much for having me thanks for doing the work you do

in the world thank you so much you take care you too bye Bye. Bye. To bypass the unhoused youth sleeping on the street. Then keep right to skip by the lines of people waiting for food. Steer clear of the crowded shelter turning people away. Then take the next exit. Let's stop looking away and get in the way of rising poverty.

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