Language of Love with Dr. Laura Berman - The Art of Synchronized Satisfaction

Episode Date: April 15, 2024

Have you ever imagined how you can achieve simultaneous orgasms with your partner? Many people find it challenging to experience this together. However, some techniques can be employed in your sex life to achieve this shared climax.  In this episode of the Language of Love Bite, I dive into a subject that is often whispered about in the corners of our most private conversations: the art of achieving simultaneous orgasms with your partner.  I explore: How to achieve simultaneous orgasms with a partner The importance of individual and mutual orgasms The beauty of incorporating oral stimulation alongside self-stimulation Significance of open communication and intuition during sexual exchanges The stepwise approach to practicing simultaneous orgasms The differences in time to reach orgasm for men and women Don't forget to visit my website and explore the free Quantum Sex course. It will help you elevate your sexual response to new heights.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hey, I'm sex, love, and relationship therapist, Dr. Laura Berman, and for the last 30 years, I've been helping people just like you learn to love and be loved better. Welcome to the Language of Love Bites, where I tackle your most asked questions and requested topics. These episodes are designed to be fun, quick, and to the point. It's time we all become fluent in the language of love. so you want to reach simultaneous orgasm with your partner now for most of us that's the holy grail of orgasms when the two of you are orgasmic at the same moment experiencing the hides of

ecstasy it's what we see in movies and to some extent I think that's why most of us want it is because we think that that's the ideal, but it's not super easy to achieve. So I'm going to walk you through how to work through the process of coming to a place where you can have a mutual orgasm should you want that. Okay. So the first step is to make sure both of you not only can reach orgasm alone and together, but that you are attuned to your arousal and orgasmic process. So most couples who have been together for a while and have sex often enough, they kind of have a sense and you maybe even have gotten into a routine where I do this to you, you do this to me, you like this the best, we like this position the best. And you both know, you can kind of even

tell when your partner is getting close or hopefully you're communicating. Yeah, that feels really good. I'm about to come, whatever. You know, you're giving those cues, either nonverbal or verbal cues to your partner and them to you so that you're getting a sense. You're not just in your own arousal and orgasmic path, but you are also attuned to your partners. This is really important because if you're going to have a mutual orgasm, you have to be able to not only reach orgasm and understand your partner's arousal process, but you have to be able to kind of pace, right? So if you're getting really close and your partner is not so close, you're pulling back on your own stimulation a little bit. So that may mean like slow down

or changing positions to one that isn't as exciting for you so that you can catch up, Right. Now, one of the cleanest ways to do this, if you really want to do it in a step wise, you know, strategy is, OK, you both can reach orgasm alone and together. You have decent communication. OK. Step one is to have a simultaneous orgasm during self stimulation. So in that scenario, you'd be sitting across from each other or side by side, and you're learning and practicing pacing, self-stimulating with your partner alongside you. So they're stimulating themselves, you're stimulating yourself, and you're pacing and you're communicating so that you practice having an orgasm at the same moment, right? Can you do that while you're having self-stimulation?

If you can, then you probably can do it during intercourse more easily. course on quantum sex. It's going to teach you how to take your sexual response to the next level capable of full body orgasms, how to use sex magic to manifest your dreams and how to connect on an even deeper level sexually with your partner. Just go to drlauraberman.com and you'll find it right there on the homepage, the quantum sex free course. Check it out and let me know what think. Once you get through the self-stimulation part of the plan, then you move into trying it together. So what normally will have to happen, especially if we're talking about a male and a female, in most cases, men have a much easier time and it takes them less time to reach orgasm

than women. The average man takes about seven and a half minutes to reach orgasm and the average woman takes about 20. So there is that orgasm gap there. What does that mean? That means she's going to need a lot. If you want to do it at the same time, she's going to need a lot of foreplay and a lot of heating up maybe for to get her through the first 10 to 15 minutes of arousal, assuming she takes 20, but to get her through the first part of arousal so that by the time you start really being sexual together and moving through the arousal process, she's close to where you're going to be, right? So often women need a lot of extra foreplay before intercourse even gets started where you're going to have a mutual orgasm. A lot of couples, when they're practicing with

self-stimulation, one of them may say, you know what, actually for me, oral sex is what does it, manual stimulation doesn't. And so one partner will orally stimulate the other while self-stimulating themselves and have a mutual orgasm that way. So there are all sorts of ways to practice mutual orgasms where you're more in control before you start practicing with intercourse. And once you're having intercourse or a sexual exchange, then you really need to communicate. You need to be able to say things like, I'm getting close. Oh, I'm about to come. Oh, this feels really good. Stay there, right? Because you have to be able to attune to each other and you have to kind of be intuitive about it and sense it. And the final thing is that a teeny, teeny, tiny percentage of couples

reach orgasm at the same time. The vast majority of people in relationships reach orgasms at different times. And that is totally fine. And lots of couples don't reach orgasm at all, or certainly not every time. And that's normal too. So while simultaneous orgasms are fantastic and beautiful, don't get too hung up on it. Because like I'm always telling you, the one way to guarantee you're not going to have an orgasm at all is to obsess about having an orgasm. Why? Because it totally takes you out of your body. So practice it and let me know how it goes. I think you'll have fun doing it at least. I went to the doctor, said I'm crazy for your love

Wrote me a prescription, but there's no...