Language of Love with Dr. Laura Berman - The Five Secrets to Capture Your Partner's Heart

Episode Date: May 27, 2024

Do you find yourself in a place where you feel less attractive or irresistible to your partner? You're not alone. It's a common challenge that many people face in their relationships. The good news is that there are strategies and actions you can take to become truly irresistible to your partner. In this Language of Love Bite, I share some golden nuggets to make you absolutely irresistible to your partner. Together, we dive into these transformative insights that can sprinkle some magic into your relationship. From cherishing your independence to keeping that flame of desire alive with little gestures of love, each tip is like a spark igniting deeper connections and joy. As we journey through the importance of loving yourself, looking after your appearance, and daring to explore new adventures together, a path unfolds. It's not just about spicing things up for a moment; it's about nurturing a love that's lasting and electrifying. With these simple yet powerful principles of independence, desire, appearance, exploration, and self-love, you will be on your way to crafting a relationship that's irresistibly beautiful. Remember, if you're seeking to elevate your sex life, visit my website and explore my course on quantum sex. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hey, I'm sex, love, and relationship therapist, Dr. Laura Berman, and for the last 30 years, I've been helping people just like you learn to love and be loved better. Welcome to the Language of Love Bites, where I tackle your most asked questions and requested topics. These episodes are designed to be fun, quick, and to the point. It's time we all become fluent in the language of love. five ways to be irresistible to your partner. I'm going to walk you through all of them, and then I'm going to give you the most important tip at the end. Number five. Number one is to do

your best to have your own independent life. You want to be independent, not clingy. One of the biggest complaints I get from people early in a relationship or at any point is that they don't have space and there is nothing more attractive than someone who has their own interests and own independence and that they see their partner as beautiful icing on an already delicious cake. Number two is to make your partner feel desired and delightful. I can't tell you how many couples struggle with this, especially in longer term relationships where we start. Of course, you love your partner, you're grateful for them, but they're all of these small and sometimes large ways we take each other for granted. And we certainly stop making an effort to be delightful

for our partner, much less make our partner feel delightful. When you look at your partner and say, oh, you look so beautiful today or watching you with the kids or doing the dishes or mowing the lawn or whatever you are really turns me on because you're so beautiful and you're so in flow with it. And I'm so grateful to you. So there's to really make an effort to show your partner appreciation, to let them know how attractive they are to you, how much you desire them is really important because desire begets desire. So if your partner is feeling that energy coming off, you feel seen, feels appreciated, feels delighted by you and you delighted by them, that fuels the sexual energy between the two of you.

Hey, it's Dr. Laura Berman. I've been a sex, love, and relationship therapist for over 30 years. And the main question I always get asked is how the heck do we spice it up in a long-term monogamous relationship? Well, if you want to take your love life, your sex life to the next level, whether you're in a relationship or not, check out my free course on quantum sex. It's going to teach you how to take your sexual response to the next level, capable of full body orgasms, how to use sex magic to manifest your dreams, and how to connect on an even deeper level sexually with your partner. Just go to drlauraberman.com and you'll find it right there on the homepage, the Quantum Sex free course. Check it out and let me know what you think.

number three you know some people scoff at this but this is super important do not get lazy about your appearance we all do it right we get into that habit especially after covid times of the skunchy and the sweats and not bothering i'm guilty of that as well but you have to make an effort to at least look your best. That doesn't mean you have to be the same weight you were when you got together and that you're wearing full hair and makeup and a sexy outfit every day when your partner comes home. I'm not suggesting that. But at least make an effort like you would for anyone else. So that means maybe instead of wearing the sweats, wearing something that's a little more form-fitting. Maybe brushing your hair and putting on a little makeup versus in a skunchy. And I'm

not saying you have to do this every day or all the time, but on a regular basis, if you want to fuel desire in your partner, you have to put an effort into your appearance. Number four is to be as free and as uninhibited as you possibly can. Because one of the things, especially in a longer term relationship that fuels desire is excitement. So if you're willing to try new things, if you're willing to let loose sexually, even if that means talking dirty or making a lot of noise during sex or exploring new positions, it doesn't have to be that you're bringing in a third partner or you're doing, you know, exploring dominance and submission. I mean, you can do that, But it doesn't have to be as extreme as that. You can bring in a new toy. You can explore. But the

main thing is that if your partner feels like you're not holding back and that you're really enjoying the sexual scenarios you're in, they're going to want to do it more. And finally, this is one that many people don't think about, but I have found to be absolutely true. That the more you love and appreciate yourself, the more others are going to love and appreciate you. I can't tell you how many people come to me and want their partner to find them attractive. But when I ask them how you feel about yourself, oh, I'm fat. I need to lose 20 pounds. I'm too short. I'm too tall. I'm not good enough in all these ways. If you don't love yourself, if you don't think you're sexy, how do you expect your partner to? So if you really want to be desired by your partner,

step numero uno is learning how desirable you really are. Make sure to follow the language of love and listen wherever you listen to your favorite podcasts. I went to the doctor Said I'm crazy for your love