Language of Love with Dr. Laura Berman - The Secrets to a Sizzling Sex Life

Episode Date: December 27, 2023

It’s time for a follow-up session! In a previous Language of Love Session, Marla and Ken opened up about their struggles with intimacy. Ken's performance fears and feelings of inadequacy had led to a dwindling sex life. This week, we’re doing a follow-up session, and I continue my work with Marla and Ken to spice up their love life. And guess what? They're on a roll! I gave them some homework, you know, the fun kind – daily hugs and weekly heart-to-hearts. And guess what? It's working like magic! Marla and Ken are like my relationship rockstars. They've been sharing how these little exercises have turned up the heat and brought them even closer. Can you believe it? Hugs and chats, people – that's the secret sauce! I gave them a virtual high-five for sticking to it. I mean, commitment level: expert! But you know me, always looking for ways to level up. So, I threw in a few more suggestions to keep the love train chugging along. We got into a cool chat about communication and trust – the real MVPs in any relationship. They're totally vibing with the idea and are all in to keep the good vibes flowing. It's like they've unlocked a new level of emotional and sensual connection. So, there you have it – Marla and Ken are the dynamic duo, taking on the world one hug at a time. Can't wait to see what other relationship adventures we'll embark on together This journey with Marla and Ken has been a testament to the power of open communication, commitment, and the willingness to work on a relationship. Their story serves as an inspiration for couples facing similar issues, reminding us all that with the right guidance and effort, we can rebuild and strengthen our relationships. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hey, I'm sex, love, and relationship therapist, Dr. Laura Berman, and for the last 30 years, I've been helping people learn to love and be loved better. Welcome to the Language of Love Sessions. This is where I get to work with you one-on-one, on air. You, my listeners, my goal in these sessions is to empower you to enjoy better relationships, both with others and with yourself and to help you embrace how precious and sacred your body your love life and your sexuality really is it's time we all become fluent in the language of love so you guys already know marla and ken say hi guys hi how are you so good to see you you too

i'm actually talking to them just so you all know from their brand new house they haven't even moved in yet. So maybe a little echoey in there, but we'll work with that. I'm excited to see you guys in your new nest. And as my peeps here know, if you listened to the last episode with Marla and Ken, the main issue was their sex life. And tell me if I'm summarizing this adequately for you guys, but that basically you weren't having sex, that that was really missing. And part of the reason for that was really that Ken was kind of avoiding it around some performance fears and also feeling like he couldn't bring you to orgasm. And so somehow that was pretty typical in men, that that meant that he wasn't satisfying you. And then that discouraged him even more. And so we talked

about that. We talked about kind of because so much energy had now come in between the two of you. And so, and it'd been so long before you were, you know, there was like this 800 pound gorilla in the room with you that nobody was talking about. We just kind of cleaned the slate and said, all right, we're starting from scratch. No more sex. You cannot even have sex, right? And you are just, so not only sex, no sex, no orgasm for anybody. I mean, you can do it on your own, but that's it. And I engaged you in a plan for what therapists call sense or sex therapist called Sensate Focus, where you did these touching exercises, where you get back into the sensuality and the connection and the senses and the communication. And we're slowly

going to rebuild your sex life from the ground up on new terms. Is that a good summary? Perfect. Did I forget anything I told you to do? Not. Oh, the one thing was the 30 second hug every day. Oh, yeah, yeah. I told you to do a 30-second hug every day and send love from your heart into each other's and say inside yourself or out loud, I am choosing you, right? I'm choosing you today and really making that reconnection every day. Okay, so that was it, right? That's the bulk of what I gave you as homework? Yes, and then there was one 15 minutes of no logistics, just talking about that. Oh, I'm so glad you're remembering this because I don't have my notes here. That's okay. It's locked in, locked into my heart.

Well, this is good because it means you've probably been doing it. All right. So then 15 minutes once a week, right? Yes. Hanging out and talking and kissing and cuddling, but not talking about the logistics of your lives. Correct. Okay. Give me the update.

How did the homework go or how has it been going? It went very well. We cheated once, I think. You did? That's just between us. but it went well in the beginning and it's probably a typical male response it's like you know just it's like whatever yeah but we'll we'll do it because that's who art told us to so we did it and but as it the days went on it was it was really pretty cool because it

It taught me, hopefully re-taught me, but it certainly taught me to just slow down and enjoy Marla and all of her emotional and physical attributes. And to rediscover at a level that I don't know that I've ever really discovered her, you know, her deep sensuality. And mine too, like I guess it was there all the while and I just kind of lost it. And, you know, it's, you know, there'll always be time for the quickie, but it's important to get back into making love and not having sex. And the one time we did that, it was really very cool. We tried to, you know, behave, but for the most part we did it. But, you know, we've done the touching exercises. I think once or twice touching turned into massage, but nothing crazy.

Just going a little further than the touch, but never going beyond that. And I thought it was really great. I think it was a really, really good exercise. It really taught me to, you know, just slow down a little bit. And, you know, women are just more complicated than that. And you need to honor that and work with them, not against them. beautiful I love that so much so just to kind of summarize and you guys can listen to the the last episode I did with Marla and Ken to get more specifics maybe you want to try this in your relationship but what Ken is talking about more specifically is that I asked them to kind of take turns to schedule it but also take turns initiating it within the time they scheduled it and to touch each other in a really sensual, loving, communicative way that wasn't intended to arouse or to be foreplay, but just to be really, really present, giving for 10 minutes on both

sides at first, avoiding the breast and genitals, and then doing the other side, same thing, and then switching up. So each of you, and so it isn't, yes, of course, sometimes you fall into massage, but the intention was to really focus on that sensual communication. So what it sounds like you're saying and I love your honesty so much about this because you're right that I mean almost every guy is certainly every heterosexual guy that I see but really most guys that I suggest something like this too are like kind of if they're not overtly rolling their eyes they're rolling their eyes inside their heads at what I'm saying right and they're like okay I'll do it but And you're saying that at first that was the case, but once you stuck with it, which I'm so glad you did, you started discovering that there was a new level of sensual and erotic connection that was available to you, and you discovered things about each other, it sounds like.

yeah be able to do that you know 38 years it's just it's just terrific i mean anytime you discover something new in life it's great when you do it with somebody it's great greater when you do it with your significant partner it's the best so it's you know it's just just a whole other world i love that i think that's so beautiful and marla's crying over there if you hear her sniffing she's like what what's moving you about i mean i can imagine what's moving you about what he's just his receptivity to you he read your book but to talk to you when we were really so fragile that day yeah like really fragile that day is just remarkable um it speaks volumes to his character and his dedication to our marriage and our barn because it's funny it was like it's like it was

like the one missing link and in your words the 800 pound gorilla in the room and it's tough to talk about yeah and you to hear him because i i'm usually one like oh i'll tell you what happened and i love just listening to kenny i'm learning to listen more than talk and it's really moving me and the funny thing at least for me was i forgot how it came up but I guess in my naivete, I didn't realize that this was being broadcast. Wait, we said it was. Did you not tell him, Marla? No, I swear to God, I did.

I swear I did. I told him. I swear. Oh, no. What do you think? The head start of the microphone will give it away. Yeah, you would think. I feel like we're having a little private session.

Oh, that's cool. It's for everybody. I forgot how it came up, but I think someone might have come from your office, contacted Marla, and said the session, the paper number session is available, and the broadcast version will be available later. Something like that. And I looked at Marla, and I was like, seriously? So I thought that was very funny. It's kind of funny because in marriage, you know, especially we met 38 years ago on Halloween on a blind date. So a lot of times we say things, but we don't always lock it in.

Yeah. I said, Kenny, just so you know, full disclosure, this is a podcast. It didn't register. And I said, I've been hovering near a radio listening to Dr. Laura Berman forever when you aren't serious. When my friend got divorced, I'm like, you've got to listen to this episode. How many years, forever you're married. So I explained it all, but I don't think it really registered. And now you're coming back on, even so.

So the prescription was you couldn't have sex and full disclosure on my side, I always have in the back of my mind, I'm of two minds about you cheating, right? Because on the one hand, I'm like, don't cheat on your homework. I'm the teacher, do what I say. But on the other hand, I'm kind of secretly cheering you on when you get so excited that you're like, screw Dr. Laura we're doing this anyway right because especially for a couple like you who's been avoiding sex so in that cheating episode you've been cheating on me you weren't cheating on each other right you're cheating in that when you did have sex even though you weren't supposed to how did it go I don't know it was Kenny was so present which is so erotic for me

yeah because he's a brilliant man his mind goes a mile a minute mine goes a mile a minute but they go differently yeah and we bought this house and we renovated and painted and did everything in three and a half weeks so while we were doing it we were doing the homework which was so such a gift to us from you but when it happened it was just like well it was like a brand new partner really was what was different you don't have to give me i don't mind no actually now that kenny knows that the world is listening to this what is it that what is it that was different or felt you don't have to give us like graphic although you can but it's it is a podcast but i don't need you

no kenny was confident yeah because when we did the central touching we were i said you know dr Laura says tell me what feels good so and tell me what you you know tell me what you prefer what you like what you did so he gave me feedback I gave him feedback so that when it happened he was just very slow and intentional and I I believe how I felt in very it's very spiritual way that he had finally realized like this is really a thing I really do need to take my time and tune in to marla it's nothing that i can just do there's like sensual involvement with my hands and my mind and my eyes and yeah it's not a mechanical act no it's not an active presence and that's what we talked about right we talked about how there was this fear about your performance and

the logistics and then that was affecting your arousal and then that was affecting your confidence and then you were withdrawing from it because, and that is super common among men. And we talked also about how the key and all in the huge national study that I did, and it keeps coming up in other research as well, is that orgasms are amazing when they happen, right? But that the key to a woman's sexual satisfaction, and Marla certainly confirmed this is true for herself, is the emotional connection they feel to the person they're having sex with. So what it sounds like you're saying is that maybe it must've been on the heels of maybe doing one of these exercises and then you got turned on and you decided to keep going.

Is that what happened? Or did you just- You know what? It was so mystical. I don't remember when it happened. What do you remember? I'm being really honest. Like, I don't know.

Was it after the touching? No. Was it after the touching? Seriously. Because one night I fell asleep, full disclosure. He did such a good job. I jumped out. so i'm like okay i owe you 20 so it was after after doing the exercises you were getting aroused

getting turned on and then you just decide so you were already in that presence and in that sensuality and secret right you kind of figured out what i would have brought you to next anyway is to use this sensual touching exercise as you know shifted out of an exercise into an aspect of sensual connection that can stand alone, certainly, but it absolutely can be part of foreplay because what you've probably, what it sounds like you've noticed, which is what is always the case is if you kind of commit to this and do this together, then it brings you both into the room, into your bodies, present with each other, into your senses, sensually aware, sensually connecting, right? So it's automatically setting the sensual connected presence stage

for the kind of sex that is most arousing to Marla, for sure. But what it also sounds like for you, Ken, is that you found it amazingly gratifying. And did you find it arousing? Yeah, very much so. Very much so. Yeah, I was very pleasantly surprised by it. And I was able to relax, really.

And when my time was up, I thought, shit, that was really nice. but now it's my turn to but yeah it was really it was almost like meditation yeah it is filter out of your head and you just sit back and enjoy

whatever's happening so it was really a special time and I want to just give Kenny a plug because the other night he was rubbing my back and it felt so good and I said oh honey could you keep it wasn't a planned session it wasn't our date and he's like

no i that this time i was just touching you for me i'm done now i'm going to sleep i was like oh you go he set a little boundary there kenny yeah all right and it was very sexy and so with the initiating did you do okay with that because that was an issue too where you were going to schedule it and you were going to follow through and you did that yeah yeah i think uh yeah my recollection yes he did he did a great job and we had a lot of roadblocks with we go home the contractor calls we come back you know ladders everywhere so kenny's like you know sunday tonight won't work and we mutually postponed it was just we weren't in that place and we didn't want to muddy it with stress yeah so you negotiated a new we did

yeah so we were committed to it and we honored it and it really was a really really cool thing but we didn't want to force it just to do it so we can say we did our homework yeah so we ad-libbed a little bit we did that's allowed you know if i as i said one or both of you might need you know if something major comes up you want to try to keep to the dates as much as possible but if something comes up where you're both really distracted or one of you is going through something you just need to make sure that you don't postpone it too long and that whoever in this case it was both of you but whoever needs to postpone really takes responsibility for making sure it happens and doesn't drop the ball there yeah and it also opened up for me anyway like this

whole i wish i lived near you because i would come to your all your great things i've lost a lot of people so i you know i carry it and i it comes out and it goes like waves but in this connection with kenny so much came out of me yeah you know yeah yeah yeah which really needed to come out and then i was doing your shaking and all the things in the other room afterwards so i was just like this is a full circle feeling for for us well you know why that happened and i'm assuming it helped and worked but oh it did but one of the reason that happens is because you're opening your heart when you're in that not that your heart isn't open to kenny all the time but There is a sensual sexual opening. I mean, that's why women are always, when they have those kind of sexual imagery that you see, there's a flower opening, a rose opening, a lotus opening, because that is literally what is happening inside a woman's, not just in her genitals, but inside her.

when when she feels safe contained and cherished when she feels that which most women include in this one feels through presence central awareness and connection then you really open and when you open that's when all kinds of pleasure all kinds of connection all kinds of stuff can happen but of course when we open which is why a lot of us don't like to open even though it feels so good when you do, we try to avoid it because we've somehow learned that when we do open our hearts, we also feel other things we've been protecting against, right? So once we open it, sometimes some sadness will want to come out. Sometimes some fear will want to come out. And you mentioned the grief stuff, which is really normal. I mean, I'm learning more and more as a sex and love

and relationship therapist of 30 years who is now diving so deeply into grief healing and saying to my friends and colleagues, like, what the frick, you know, sex and death, sex and grief, like, how did these two? And I'm realizing that they are much more intimately connected than I realized in terms of healing and processing of them. And this is beyond, you know, the fact that sex and death both are things that nobody will talk about and everybody's everybody's experiencing but not talking about but also that there is a deep energetic connection between the two and that's what you're describing and by the way we have just made the good grief day which what is and has been an in-person event in hermosa beach now it is available

tickets are available as a live streaming event oh my gosh really yeah because of so many people like you all over the country and world who are like shit i can't get to california and then we're also gonna package it up hopefully as a video and people can buy it that way too if they didn't make the live stream event but so yeah so you'll be able to come even up to california that's the great gift today because to be honestly if we weren't moving i would have flown out like i i I just, I just think you're so, you're so brave and I'm so happy that someone of your stature is talking so openly because nobody talks about it and you've just made it so beautifully available to so many people.

And I'm just, I honor that and I honor you and I understand that. Thank you so much for that. And it sounds like you've been watching and learning and you went and you moved some energy as I came up. Yeah, that's beautiful. And then I watched it even watch like, when I, you know, when I was young, we would cry and watch ourselves. Did you do that? Did you film yourself crying and watch? Yeah. You know, I was the youngest of three, two older brothers, and I just was trying to get attention. So I gave myself the attention, right? So, but I was in the mirror

shaking and I was like really thanking my body for getting to this house every day thanking my body for still being able to receive this beautiful man and also honoring and promising my body that I'm going to take so much for better care and I have a yard to shake it out in and there's deer and yeah it's just I feel so blessed good and it's so beautiful that you're moving you're moving into a new home but you're also moving into a new home within each other and within the relationship. I think that's so beautiful. And so you also, I'm assuming the 15 minutes talking and kissing and cuddling and the hugs, how have those been going? Have you noticed anything with that? Was that something you want to keep going? Was that something that was impactful or was just

nice? What was your experience of it? I love the hugs because I said out loud, you know Kenny I cherish you I choose you and to say that out loud and feel his heart against mine it's really powerful yeah it is you know and my timing might have been off like when we were zooming I'm just like 30 seconds you know and I grabbed him in the 15 minutes of cuddling we've done it but I don't think we've cuddled but we've we've talked without talking about our lists and there's lots of lists right now but what about you? I think that's right but I would say

and I think I mentioned this tomorrow there's kind of little but I think there's variations so I'm going to run along with that for 10 or 15 minutes and that calms her down or puts her at rest or puts her to sleep

or puts me to sleep so you know it might not be hugging and snuggling yeah again i think guys are not necessarily that into but the touch yeah the sensual touching the soothing taking that brush oh yeah we have a body brush we keep it in the bed oh nice so you brush each other very yeah each other you know one way or the other i think we get that i'm a big time snuggler and i i've been an abusive like that's a bad word to use i've been like snuggle me hold me like i would

literally i say there's a twig and a vine in every marriage right and i'm definitely the vine yeah i'm the vine yeah and ken is the twig he doesn't like to be held when he sleeps so I'm like listen 38 years I've been at your way hold me please just 15 minutes so we're trying to negotiate that snuggle thing because if you're not a snuggler you don't get it but someone else needs it and I've actually noticed since not that my son was such a snuggler in his junior and senior year of high school but I definitely miss physical cuddles and so I'm forcing my husband to cuddle me more too oh I love it not that he's offended by it but it certainly doesn't occur to him to do you know what I mean I have to and then I sneak across the bed at night because he does not like

he gets too hot he doesn't like to cuddle I sneak over while he's sleeping and spoon him until he wakes up too hot but I'm like oh I love that yeah I'd come over and sneak cuddles in the middle of the night hey it's Dr. Laura Berman I've been a sex love and relationship therapist for over 30 years. And the main question I always get asked is how the heck do we spice it up in a long-term monogamous relationship? Well, if you want to take your love life, your sex life to the next level, whether you're in a relationship or not, check out my free course on quantum sex. It's going to teach you how to take your sexual response to the next level capable of full body orgasms, how to use sex magic to manifest your dreams, and how to connect on an even deeper

level sexually with your partner. Just go to drlauraberman.com and you'll find it right there on the homepage, the quantum sex free course. Check it out. Let me know what you think. so that sounds really beautiful everything you said was beautiful but i'm really excited that you took this to heart that you did it that you committed to it that you kept to it that you grew from it that you enjoyed it that it sir you know it did what i was hoping it would do so this is a win-win-win. So what do you want to do now? What's next? How do you guys want to move forward? What do you have in mind? We're looking forward to our next, I feel like our next assignment. You've spoiled us, Dr. Laura. You've spoiled us. Because I really do think

it's progressive. Yeah, it is progressive. And I think what we could do if you really wanted to go in a stepwise fashion, right? You've been doing this once a week, right? Yeah. So we definitely want to keep going with once a week. And if you want, you can move forward to instead of the genital brush by, you can spend some time there. But if we really want to take it in a stepwise progression, you can spend some time there because I really, what I don't want to do is slide backwards with the, in the erectile confidence category. So I don't want to jump to a place where performance is expected yet so even though performance worked on your the one time you slid one in it we still want to if we're going to take this slowly we want to be careful so so the goal

would be like when you're touching ken marla you know you do his back first and you're doing his front and when you're doing his front you can stroke his penis you can even kiss his penis a little bit. You can put your hair over it. You can put your breasts on it, but you're not sucking his penis. You're not performing oral sex. You're not expecting an erection. You certainly aren't expecting an orgasm. The goal is not at all an orgasm. His penis may or may not get hard. It may get hard and then soft and then hard and then soft. There's no expectation about how his penis is going to perform but because there is no performance your only goal can is to receive right and notice what feels good what do i like what doesn't feel as good right

and then when you're doing marla's front you can do the same thing kiss touch fondle her breasts and her external genitals you're not going to do any penetration with anything fingers or otherwise yet you can kiss there a little bit but once again you're not suckling her breasts you're not performing oral sex there's no expectation of orgasm it's just like a sensual loving lingering visitation in an all-body experience i like that that's beautifully said i did have a question i noticed kenny when sometimes i'm rubbing kenny like if you rub my feet i would never ever stop you or my hands or my nose anything yeah but when i'm rubbing kenny like i'll just get into it and i'm like into it and he'll be like thank you honey so i don't know

in that moment if you're just being polite or if you've had enough touching so that's like a good question what is the answer kenny the answer is that marla has very bad thoughts and you mean you may hurt i have arthritis and so you're trying to take care of her and after a certain amount of time i mean And I see Marla quite often having difficulty with certain things. And I can usually feel when Marla's hands bother her based on the amount of pressure she's applying. Aw, look how intuitive he is. So when she's touching you, you're feeling by the nature of her touch that she may be starting to experience some pain.

Yeah, I would want that. I would want Marla to experience that. So, you know, it feels great when Marla touches me for a minute, for 10 minutes, for an hour, so a car or somewhere in between, but it shouldn't come at a price. So, you know, so that's usually when I put up the... That's sweet, but I can be in charge of that. She has to be in charge. That's what I was going to say, that I want her to be in charge, right?

Because you spend, which is so beautiful and a sign of your giving heart, but it also can be a curse sexually in lots of different ways, not in this way, because obviously this is just touching your back. But in other ways, if you are too focused on what's going, I mean, obviously we want to be focused in a sexual sense on what's going on for your partner. But if you're preemptively worrying about any aspect of her response, whether it is a pleasure response or a pain response, it is your job, Marla. This is a really important place where couples can fall into codependence and it's coming from a place of love and care. But still, it's not working in your favor, right? So it's really important to trust Marla and for you,

Marla, to step up and make sure that you are verbalizing, right? So like I had a couple not long ago where she has really bad TMJ and she has always loved performing oral sex on her husband and her husband loves receiving oral sex, but he was shutting down the oral before she even really needed to because he was worried about her being in pain. And then there were times where she kept going because she really felt bad stopping because he was enjoying it so much, but she was in pain, right? Now, this wasn't the only issue, obviously, but one of the things I said to them, which I'll say to you and just did, is that each of you, you have to be able to trust that the other is going to stand and speak what they need and that each of you have that permission from the other to do

that, right? Because neither one of you want the other to experience pain and you certainly don't want them to have pain while they're giving you pleasure. Absolutely. I have TMJ too and he worries about that and I love what you said that because that's a huge that's a huge thing about when you're together so long it's easy to get into that parental thing a little bit yeah like you know let me take care of you or I know what's best for you or okay that's enough but it's good to know that that's why because I thought it was him his touch meter going enough thank you so much or you're annoying me yeah like you can stop now yeah girlfriend i was doing that for a while when my because i love having my back tickled and he likes it but he gets tired of it and so after he

would tickle it a little bit i would say thank you and now he says thank you you've had enough or thank you for doing it and i say thank you for doing it and so then he keeps going until until he's done right so i'm gonna steal your husband's line i like that i like that because you know we tell ourselves stories like oh man you know here he is doing this thing and really not his thing and he's thinking about the game or the house or whatever so now i know it's you were just worried about me and and that really opens up so many doors for us to really express our needs openly and honestly you know because i'm really bad at saying i need to stay because i love him so much he's like honey just tell me when you need space but i'm not good at

that like because that's why he jumps in to take care of you because he's been with you for over 30 years and he knows that you're not so good at saying what you need so he's trying to guess right and we don't want that's not fair to him right or to you because then he yes and then you misinterpret his guess well i mean it's an innocent cluster but it's a cluster it is it is because i i get into storytelling and it's so silly because he's such a good man and i know that so you know it's my own it's my own work that i have to do too we all have our work man oh man you guys are working beautifully together and that is going well and we'll keep the momentum going and if you want

let's check in in another month but you will have had at least four central erotic genital visitation experiences keep that keep the quality time attention to the quality you don't have to be religiously a timer for 15 minutes, but keep the quality time going regularly with where you have those pockets of time where you aren't talking about the logistics of your life and stay in that non-sexual exercise, sensual connection, whether it's a hug. It sounds like the hug, even though for you, Ken, you could take it or leave it and you get that physical affection in other ways, that it's really meaningful to Marla that she's verbally choosing you and having that heart-to-heart experience. So let me ask you, since it's so meaningful to her to choose you

that way every day and to send love and receive love in that way, are you open to continuing? I mean, is it a hardship for you or is it just something that, or is it something that you're willing and very comfortable doing for 30 seconds every day? No, I enjoy the 30 seconds. okay i think that that's a lot of fun and i would say 13 out of 14 days marlin's the one that we just used a 30-day hug but already day that's a new that's a new challenge maybe we'll do that next time i'm all in on the 30s okay so you're going to keep doing the 30-second hug you're going to keep making a point to talk about things whether it's 15 minutes all at once or a couple of times or whatever, you don't just set the timer, but put your attention on making sure

you have that. And you're going to move forward onto Sense8 Focus Part 2. I love that. I love that. You're such a blessing to us. Thank you. I'm so grateful to be of help. And you guys are beautiful students. So thank you. It's a blessing for all. Thank you so much. And hopefully for those listening because they're learning with you yeah thank you all right we'll talk in a month you'll give me the update this is fun awesome lots of love i can't wait to stream with you on sunday right on december 2nd oh december 2nd okay maybe i will oh no i can't i have a surgery i'll be streaming. Okay. Thanks, Dr. Lauren. Be well. Bye-bye. Lots of love. Bye-bye.