Las Culturistas with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang - "Amazon Penis Fish" (w/ Annie Donley)

Episode Date: February 14, 2018

The Goddess, the Queen, the Empress, the True Blue Culturista, the Biggest Treat Of Them All, Queen of Kingdom Queef, Puss-tastic and Mega Madness, you can’t handle the bitch….it’s Annie Donley. This episode is fully insane. It is catharsis. It is medicine. It is delicious. It will make you say, mmmmm…..fuck me sex god. You will hear tales of the Amazonian Penis Fish, you will hear of musical acts that CHANGED PARAMETERS, you will hear of AJ the Backstreet Boy and that time he tipped his hat, you will hear about that time Annie was slapped by a gay man in the women’s restroom of a Houston Gay Bar. And on top of all that, a BIG AWARD is presented and Matt & Bow address Annie Donley’s unborn baby directly. LAS CULTURISTAS HAS A PATREON! For $5/month, you get exclusive access to WEEKLY Patreon-ONLY Las Culturistas content!!https://www.patreon.com/lasculturistasSUBSCRIBE ON APPLE PODCASTS TODAY!CONNECT W/ LAS CULTURISTAS ON FACEBOOK & TWITTER for the best in "I Don't Think So, Honey" action, updates on live shows, conversations with the Las Culturistas community, and behind-the scenes photos/videos:www.facebook.com/lasculturistasLAS CULTURISTAS IS A FOREVER DOG PODCASTforeverdogpodcasts.com/las-culturistas Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This fall on Bravo. It's time to turn up. Think you've seen it all? I don't think you've been a good friend to me lately. We're friends like that, who needs enemies? You ain't seen nothing yet. Cheers to being Germanic. With the Real Housewives of Potomac.

Oh my gosh, can I take this in? It's gonna be amazing. New York City. Everyone is a gossip. No one gets a happier life. Salt Lake City. We don't wear costumes, we wear fashion. And below deck sailing out.

You broke the rules and now you're here getting upset. Watch all new seasons on Bravo or stream it on City TV+. Let's have a real good time. I'm Julian Edelman. I'm Rob Gronkowski. And we are super excited to tell you about our new show, Dudes on Dudes. We're spilling all the behind-the-scenes stories, crazy details, and honestly, just having a blast talking football. Every week, we're discussing our favorite players of all times,

from legends to our buddies to current stars. We're finally answering the age-old question, what kind of dudes are these dudes? We're going to find out, Jules. New episodes drop every Thursday during the NFL season. Listen to Dudes on Dudes on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. On Thanksgiving Day, 1999,

five-year-old Cuban boy Elian Gonzalez was found off the coast of Florida. And the question was, should the boy go back to his father in Cuba? Mr. Gonzalez wanted to go home, and he wanted to take his son with him. Or stay with his relatives in Miami. Imagine that your mother died trying to get you to freedom.

Listen to Chess Peace, the Elian Gonzalez story on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, I'm Jay Shetty and I'm the host of On Purpose. My latest episode is with Jelly Roll. podcasts. biggest artists. I was a desperate delusional dreamer. Be a delusional dreamer. Just don't be a desperate delusional dreamer. Listen to On Purpose with Jay Shetty on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Trust me, you won't want to miss this one. Look, man. Oh, I see. Wow. Bowen, look over there. Wow. Is that culture? Yes.

Las Culturistas. Ding Wow. Las Culturistas. Ding dong, Las Culturistas calling. Why are you coming in so exuberant? I wanted to test out, like, bitch. Well, it failed. Pitching up, you know? Would you like me to, I guess, correct myself? Adjust my behavior to grew? Here's what I was trying to do.

I was trying to go, ding dong, Las Culturistas calling. It was shocking for me. I can try it again now. Well, let's call Teresa's calling. It was shocking for me. I can try it again now. Well, let's go. No, no, no, no, no, no. I'll do what you do. We can't do this. Ding dong, let's call Teresa's calling.

I feel like everyone will have turned it off. You know. We scream at them. We're not screaming. We're giving them something a little bit different. Here's the difference between Bo and between Mo. A name that I never have given to myself until just now. Sometimes Bo will come in and he'll say,

I think we need to change it up a little bit. And I say, we have to keep the podcast the exact same. I think we can't be so resistant to change. Yeah, absolutely. Progress is a coming. I believe that was a song in the late 60s. Progress is a coming. A change is going to come.

Oh. Yes. Or the times there are a changing. Oh. Yeah. And they are indeed. They are indeed at all times. At all times.

What's amazing about the world is you wake up every day and it's a little different than it was the day before. Yes. And sometimes you get big news. And Bowen, I think that our guest today has gotten the biggest news. And we have through her. We have received that news unto ourselves in the biggest way. In the greatest, biggest way. She is the greatest showman.

And I would say she is the biggest treat. I would say amongst some large treats out there, she will be the biggest. The biggest treat of them all. Yeah. So let's go through the credits. You go through the biggest. The biggest treat of them all. Yeah. So let's go through the credits. You go through the credits, and I will sit here and bask in them.

She is the goddess. The goddess, the queen. Yeah. She's the goddess, the queen. The empress. The empress. You can watch her amazing, amazing talk show, Popping Off, with Annie Donnelly

the episodes the old episodes are on Facebook there might be you know in the future some you know a nice little revival of it a reboot who knows we'll see might be a live thing might be something different for you maybe something coming up a little bit

speaking of reboot she is now performing. Progress is a Common. She's now performing with the new iteration of the famous Holy Fuck Comedy Hour. Brought over from Chicago, from the Annoyance Theater there. From Chicago to New York. From Chicago to New York.

Oh, and... Like so many others. Like so many others, but just her... Tina Fey. Her arrival here in New York City was the big blessing momentous we haven't seen this big of a momentous change since tina fey since tina fey now our guest is in the new iteration of the holy fuck comedy hour now called uh yard sale comedy at union hall

so you can check her out there uh regularly from the movie the big sick from the movie from the movie the big sick yeah um so uh this is and this is a true true true blue culturista and you may recognize her from last culturistas live episodes in the past and she actually came i believe in she was a finalist she was a runner up in culture yes the battle and she oh god if you will talk about this, but the reaction of her walking down the aisle was, I will never forget it. I've never experienced something like that. Nor will I. So please, not amongst them,

please warmly welcome our guest, Annie Donnelly. Hello! The queen. The queen. Queen of queef. Thank you, queen. It is queen of queef. And I have to think you're the only one who always truly says what my queen is. Yes, the queen.

The real title. What is that? Why don't people respect the title, Her Royal Highness? Well, people will call me queen, and I think they think it's queen of comedy. No. I think you're right, though. I think they think that. Yeah, they do.

Oh, she's the queen. She's the queen. I'm'm like do you know what you're saying you don't know what you're saying right right it is king of queendom queef queen oh yeah i think i believe queendom queef i believe to quote the bio it's annie donnelly queen of kingdom queef you can't handle the bitch yes i'm puss-tastic and mega madness you can't handle the bitch i'm puss-tastic and mega madness is that from did you make that up on your own i made that up oh my god so is i thought it was a nice hook is the twitter at annie the queen donnelly the twitter is at annie ass queef yes so because asses can queef too. They truly can. It's actually rule of culture number 42.

Asses can queef too. Asses is queefs too. Asses is queefs too. Go on, brush your shoulders off. I believe were the original lyrics. Absolutely. Now, let's talk about the Twitter for a second because there are truly. Our favorite Twitter.

Our favorite Twitter. We will sometimes like many of the tweets and retweet them all at once. I don't know if your phone ever blows up. No. I think Annie has one of the unforgettable tweets that we quote from memory so, so many times. Yes. Here we go. Yeah. My favorite episode of The Simpsons is when Bart fucks Big Titta Marge and she go, oh, Bart. When Bart fuck Big Titta Marge.

Big Titta. Big Titta Marge. And she go, oh, Bart. Oh, Bart. I never thought about it in her voice until now. Oh Bart. That's bad. That's bad.

But imagine those big swinging tits. Imagine. You're vile. Imagine those big swinging tits. And his tits are fucking her. Oh my God. I guess, you know what? I've just never sexualized Marge before,

but it makes a lot of sense. You need to go online. A lot of people do. Do they really? A lot of people sexualize Marge and Family Guy, Lois. Lois. No, I don't like that.

She's fucking the dog upstairs, downstairs, in his dog house. What sites are you on? Hentai. Hentai? Hentai. Hentai is the subculture, the subgenre of porn in which famous cartoon characters,

pop culture characters are, you know, impaled basically, just sodomized. And do they canonically mix? Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's crossover. There's definitely crossover. So we can see like Pikachu,

fuck, you know. Yes. Lisa Simpson. I i mean it's very unfortunate that like it's usually it's always the women who are just being that's horrible well i have to tell you it's not always cartoons i read a um a fan fiction of um tim the tool tool man taylor and he was fucking his son brad and wilson wanted a piece but you but you can't come out from behind the fence you wrote this no I swear I read it it was this gay fan fiction

it was erotic which son Brad oh Brad was the oldest son he was the he was not the hottest sorry it was JTT I don't know I always refer to him as JTT and I think so did many people heartthrob heartthrob true heartthrob I always refer to him as JTT, and I think so did many people. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Heartthrob.

Heartthrob. True heartthrob. I want to see him now. What does JTT look like now? He looks like himself only in suits. Oh, only in suits. I've recently seen photos. Yeah, really. And he's not, you know what?

I will say he hasn't grown into adulthood the way you think he should have. He didn't Leonardo DiCaprio. Exactly. He didn't even Macaulay Culkin, to be honest. Did Leonardo grow into adulthood? I think Leonardo grew into a handsome man. Although, however, I know that's a controversial thing to say, actually, because we've had people on this very podcast come out and say that his face

was a six and his body's a two. I think Sidney Washington said that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I would give him more than a six.

I would give him a solid nine or ten on face to be honest. I think the man is very handsome. Wow. The face is there. The face is there.

The face is there. Yeah, it really is. He's serving face. But the body, I don't know if I feel like he's grown into adulthood properly. No, no, no. You know what, though? I appreciate that he dares to go out there and say, you know what?

This is my body. Yes. You know what I mean? Leonardo DiCaprio is very body positive. He is. He is. He doesn't care. He knows you're judging him. Absolutely the big screen that's why he dates models that are both thin

and and not like him even more thin yes you know what i mean that's why he writes he dates many different kinds of models diff diff kinds of models diff kinds of models and and hot actresses he there's diversity in the people that he fuck. He'll sometimes fuck Blake Lively and sometimes fuck Giselle. Is that who he? No. I know he fucked Blake Lively. Oh my God.

How do you know? What's your intel? I frequently will read a magazine. Who he fuck? He will fuck. I'm saying that's the magazine. They say who he fuck magazine. You haven't read who he fuck. He will fuck. I'm saying that's the magazine. Who he fuck magazine. You haven't read Who He Fuck magazine?

I haven't read any tabloid or people magazine since Michael Jackson died. I swore to myself on the day of his death I would never read. I was all about Perez. Perez. I was all over his blog. And that day I signed off. Because you thought the media killed him. Yes, I believe.

I admire, I have such respect for that. I really do. It's hard because sometimes I will log on to people.com and I truly turn away. I stopped going on Perez Hilton too. There was like, I forget exactly what it was, but there was a certain point where I was like, I think it was after he had apologized. Remember he had that big apology where he came where I was like, I think it was after he had a policy.

Remember he had that big apology where he came out and was like, I am no longer going to be mean. This site is no longer bullying. It's going to be about news and reporting news. No. And then he like went on to say like fucked up shit, but now it wasn't like these two queefs were down at the beach looking like ass.

Now it was looking like dirty poop. Now it was- Ass queefs! Ass queefs! Looking like dirty poop. Now it was like, hmm, I don't know, is this person talented? And it was like, no, this is still like- You are backpedaling, stick to who you are. I don't know. We see right through you.

Also, I think he like got into like physical fights with celebrities because- He did. Yeah, somebody, I think, oh, you know who it was? Will.i.am punched him in the face well because I believe

of a Fergie thing no but according to Perez and you know I think the the instinct should be to believe him

but according to Perez Will.i.am called him a faggot and I don't do you believe I'm gonna bravely say I do not believe by the thing Will.i.Am called him a faggot. Wow. Do you believe? I'm going to bravely say I do not believe by the things Perez always says. Because Will.I.Am and Britney, bitch, there's no way he did it.

Because you know what? Okay, here's, yeah. I'm going to say, I'm going to bravely say I don't believe Perez in that situation because of who Perez is. He's disgusting. He stoops to that level. He stoops to that level. Frequently. disgusting and he stoops to that level he stoops to that level frequently and he you know he fucking bought

an apartment in the same building as Lady Gaga back when they they used to be best friends and then like he was being an asshole to her

so she cut him off and then he like would stalk her and like that's a nightmare put an offer in in her building and like she flipped out

and was like what the fuck are you doing get away from me that is a nightmare he is he's like a truly like a noxious parasitic

not parasitic he's a nightmarish person and you have to imagine that it comes from a place of like deep unhappiness because who else like

creates a site that's literally just to like call Jennifer Aniston Maniston but it became so popular and it makes me so upset when

there's photos of celebrities embracing him and he's at Hollywood parties and he has a place there. People forget very quickly in this town. They really do. Wait, let's get back to MJ because was this such a deep

love for MJ or was this just a general mourning? I didn't realize how deeply I loved MJ until the year surrounding his death. Yeah. I lived with a roommate. Her name's Julia Cobos in Chicago. And she was his biggest fan. And when she would – her energy like brought it out in me. Wow.

I listened to Michael Jackson. I remember being young and my mom like would play his albums when she's like jazzercising or whatever. Yeah. And I didn't appreciate him for the performance artist he was. I just loved his music. Right. And then once I lived with Julia,

she would show me clips of him performing and his music videos. And it's, there's nobody like Michael before Michael. Exactly. He did Michael first. Yeah. And everyone who followed, you know, Beyonce, all these, they're doing Michael. videos and it's there's nobody like michael before michael exactly he did michael first yeah and everyone who followed you know beyonce all these they're doing michael beyonce and beyonce is basically the only person who's like coming close to like that that sort of iconography yeah yes who could truly transcend yes yes yeah but even she is derivative

i hear what you're saying uh there's a trace of her in old acts. I mean, if you watch old Tina Turner, Beyonce is doing it extremely well, but that is what she is doing. You know what I mean? Proud Mary. I bet with no Proud Mary and no Tina Turner and her ladies, we don't exactly get Beyonce the way we have her.

I think she is heavily influenced, and I would imagine that get Beyonce the way we have her. Right. I think she is heavily influenced and I would imagine that Michael Jackson is a huge part of that influence. But Tina Turner, they had such a specific type of performance and Michael Jackson was that first like sensational pop star who had the background dancers behind him

and just like could stand on stage. That's all he had to do. Super Bowl. Exactly. I think he stood still for a had to do. Super Bowl. Exactly. Right. Yeah. I think he stood still for a minute and a half. It was crazy.

And then basking. Yeah. And then being like. Yeah. And then one woman got rolled out on a stretcher. Wait, really? Yeah. Yeah.

You've heard Josh and Aaron, Josh Sharp and Aaron Jackson tell the story all the time where it's like he's still standing there and just one woman faints and gets rolled out on a stretcher. Imagine loving someone that much. But he was the biggest. That you don't know. And he was the biggest. And being that close to him. Yes.

Imagine your parents being called and they say you have to come down to the hospital. Your child literally fainted about someone they don't know because they stood for a minute I'd be like mother fuck

I mean Michael Jackson has to be on the hospital record I mean that that's on the chart have you ever cried about Gaga? I've never cried about when I saw her live I didn't cry because I was, I was very ill and I just, like, didn't have it in me.

You were really sick. You went ill. Yeah, I went ill. Like, probably you shouldn't have gone. Yeah, yeah. I, I remember the, the times I've seen Beyonce, I'm like, I, I, I, I just, I feel. You were swept away with the spirit. My parameters changed. Yes, yes, yes. I was like, oh my God. feel. You were swept away with the spirit. My parameters changed.

Yes, yes, yes. I was like, oh my God. Parameters changed, oh my God. Who do you love more than anyone else that you felt your own parameters change? When I was younger, the Backstreet Boys, I was the girl that the security guards waved their flashlight in front of my eyes

to make sure I was okay. I was damn near on a stretcher because during one of their concerts, I had a sign for AJ McLean, who was my favorite. Yes, you were sure. AJ was the handsomest, the hottest. And I just loved his voice. I had a sign that said AJ is my sex god.

And I had to hide it from my mother because you know, I wasn't like... You didn't want her to know that he was your sex god. Right, exactly. That would be embarrassing. How do know that he was your sex god. Right, exactly. That would be embarrassing. How do I explain that? My sex god. My sex god. And there's a part in their tour, in Millennium Tour, where they fly above your head on skateboards. Yeah.

And they're so close to you. If you're at certain parts of the stage, you can't get that close to them. But they come to you, honey. They come to every seat in that motherfucking house. Oh, my God. And I swear I was wearing a little zebra cowboy hat. I'm from Houston. Oh, my God.

And he was wearing a cowboy hat for that show. And I held up my sign, and I swear to God that he looked at me, and I tipped my hat, and he tipped it back. No. And that was it. I still believe it to this day. That'll give you some material for years if you know what I mean. Scrub a rub rub. Oh my god. Spank bank.

Spank bank. AJ McLean tipping his little hat. Get me wet. Hoo da hoo hoo hoo. That's what I say. I'll tweet about that. Hashtag fuck me. Fuck me, sex god. Hashtag fuck me, sex god.

And of course the me is capitaled. What if it's just a tweet that says, fuck me, sex god. I think that's an Annie Asquith tweet, absolutely. I mean, there's just so many. The character of Annie Asquith's husband. Who is that? Oh, my God.

My husband. Is it necessarily Joey? No. I mean, he inspires some of the ideas, but certainly not the actual husband. And your husband in the world, your husband's very dumb, yes? Yes, he's very dumb. He doesn't get it. He does not get it.

I should not have married him. No, yeah, good, good, good. We love that. Yeah. I imagine Annie Asquitha is sort of like a Betty Rubble type. Is that wrong? Oh, I feel like she's very pure and clean. Oh, okay.

I thought that Betty Rubble was pretty pure and clean with her pearls. Yeah, and she was always coming over with dinosaur meat and stuff. Wasn't she like a good neighbor? She was. Wait, oh, did I say Betty Rebel? I meant Wilma Flintstone. Wilma. No, Betty Rebel was a hoe.

Oh, really? Oh, I believe so. She's cheated on Barney. Yeah, if Rosie O'Donnell plays you, you're a hoe. Oh, my God. Oh, come on. But Betty would also bring over some good dishes. Yes. I agree now. And Wilma, I can see. She Oh, come on. But Betty would also bring over some good dishes. Yes.

And Wilma, I can see. She's closer to Wilma than Betty. Yeah. I think that's who I meant to say. Wilma has had it with her. I mean, she kicks him outside in the theme song. She locks the door. I totally forgot about that.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that is some queen. The Flintstones had some marriage. I mean, maybe all family sitcoms on some level have this, but some real, for a show that could be consumed by children, some real marriage dysfunction. You're right.

He would yell at her a lot. Wilma! It's like, that's unacceptable. Well, this was all coming from the honeymooners. Yeah, of course. Always threatening to... Straight to the moon. One of these days, I will kill you.

One of these days. Excuse me? Also, Archie Bunker. Fully racist. Yes. That was written into his... I know that was the whole character and that was a comedic thing,

but that's not something you could do now. Or maybe you could? If it was, I don't. I think we're ready for another Archie Bunker. I think we're ready for another iconic racist. In comedy. Cartoon. Cartoon or otherwise, I'm ready.

For another iconic racist. Was he racist to everyone? Yeah. Oh, maybe. I want to say so. Like every ethnicity he had a problem with. But was he equal opportunity? Okay.

But his thing was especially to black people he was racist. Yeah. Well, wasn't there a black character? Yeah. So that really. There you go. Were the Jeffersons their neighbors? There was a crossover episode.

Right. There was a crossover episode. Yes, there was a crossover episode. Yes, where they learn, where Archie learns. We need more crossover episodes. We do. Yes. I know they still do them on network TV, like Chicago Fire, we're going to Chicago PD,

but I don't watch that. Scandal, and I don't think, I have to get away with murder. You almost said scandal, and I don't think so, honey. Of course, our next I Don't Think So, Honey is gonna be a crossover with Scandal. Olivia Pope's going to run in and she's going to

you know say what's what I do not I know nothing about Scandal you know what there's not much to know there's literally nothing to know the other day I was watching

The Bachelor and a preview for Scandal came on and you would think it was like a psychological horror film I was like what the fuck where is this show think it was like a psychological horror film. I was like, what the fuck? Where is this show gone? It's like screaming

and like whipping shots. It's just crazy. Shonda Rhimes is nuts. I'm sorry. She's wacko. Is this supposed to be a political show? It used to be. I want to do something. You know what?

Wacko in the best way. We love you, Shonda. Wacko Jacko. We don't usually do this on Lost Cult, um i want to do something you know what wacko in the best way we love you shonda jacko we we don't usually do this on on lost cult but i just i think this there there is there is a section on annie donnelly's website which everyone should visit annie donnelly.com there's a section on annie donnelly's website that is just so so special and so unique that i think i think i think i think it warrants us reading it out loud what is it how it's she has a tab on her website called ideas and joke and it's just a list of original ideas and jokes oh my gosh check back constantly for updates

yeah um so here let's just read some of these jokes what goes up must come down unless you take viagra these are not going to hold up on the air i think they will i think they will feed a man a fish feed him for a day teach a man to fish well that's a straight up miracle that is some Wilma shit husband to wife get a boob job wife to husband get a brick and plant child Merry Christmas this is awful hell if men are from

Mars then beam me down Sockty not Scotty Sockty hold on hold on there's one there's one there's one fine's one there's one fine okay maybe this doesn't quite translate

but there's one that I have to read you have to get the aesthetic of the website yeah you have to understand there's little

little graphics of uh pints of beer cheersing each other in between every joke it's a Geocities site it's Geocities it's digital brutalism

as we call it in the design world digital brutalism oh my god that's the title of this app here we go so um there's one that's just called It's GeoCities. It's digital brutalism as we call it in the design world. Digital brutalism. Oh, my God. That's the title of this app. Here we go. So there's one that's just called, there's the header, a funny video, dot, dot, two dots. And it just says, instead of a video, it just says, wife is giving a husband a hand job.

And as she keeps rubbing harder, harder, and faster. And a genie pops out of his prick. Genie Grand's wife, One Wish, dot, dot, dot. She asks to make her husband to be more in touch with his feminists. These are my struggles. These are my ideas. And these are my struggles as a married straight woman. And that's a struggle.

I mean, okay, so this is beautiful. I would like to actually do a little test. Now, you famously posted up on your Facebook one day. And I don't know if you were. I wondered if you regretted doing this after because of the demand that it created you said comment on this status and i'll read you like a motherfucking drag queen bitch bitch and what what did you say for bowen yang uh for me she said oh um what it didn't have anything that was right Did you tell your parents your big secret?

Yes, yes, yes. Oh, this is perfect. Do you want to just say it yourself? Bowen Yang, did you tell your parents your big secret? No, no, no, no, no. Not that you're gay. That you're honestly trying to break into the podcast circuit. Bitch.

This bitch is thirsty to be on podcast. Thirsty. Crunchy. And of course for me, do you remember what you said about me? Matt Rogers, everything I need to know about pop culture I can gather from your Facebook page.

Everything I need to know about you I can gather within five seconds of talking to you. Shut the fuck up, bitch. Nobody asked for your opinion. Something like that to you. Shut the fuck up, bitch. Nobody asked for your opinion. Something like that. You said shut the fuck up, you loud ass bitch. Yes, that's important. The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City are back.

I love that. Oh my gosh. Welcome. And last season's drama was just the tip of the iceberg. You're recording us? I am disgusted. Never in a million years after everything we've been through, did I think that you would reach out to our sworn enemy.

We were friends. How could you do this to me? I don't trust her. The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City. Wednesdays at nine on Bravo or stream it on city TV plus. I'm Julian Edelman. I'm Rob Gronkowski. Guess what folks? We're teammates again. on City TV+. I'm Julian Edelman. I'm Rob Gronkowski.

Guess what, folks? We're teammates again. And we're going to welcome you guys all to Dudes on Dudes. I'm a dude, you're a dude, and Dudes on Dudes is our brand new show. We're going to highlight players, peers, guys that we played against, legends from the past, and we're just going to sit here and talk about them.

And we'll get into the types of dudes. What kind of types of dudes are there, Gronk? We got studs, wizards. We got freaks. Or dudes dudes. We got dogs. Dogs. We'll break down their games.

We'll share some insider stories and determine what kind of dude each of these dudes are. Is Randy Moss a stud or a freak? Is Tom Brady a dog or a dudes dude? We're going to find out, Jules. New episodes drop every Thursday during the NFL season. Listen to Dudes on Dudes on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. On Thanksgiving Day, 1999, a five-year-old boy floated alone in the ocean.

He had lost his mother trying to reach Florida from Cuba. Looked like a little angel. I mean, he looks so fresh. And his name, Elian Gonzalez, will make headlines everywhere. Elian Gonzalez. Elian. Elian. Elian. Elian. Elian Gonzalez. At the heart of the story is a young boy and the question of who he belongs with. His father in Cuba. Mr. Gonzales wanted to go home and he wanted to take his son with him. Or his relatives in Miami.

Imagine that your mother died trying to get you to freedom. At the heart of it all is still this painful family separation. Something that as a Cuban I know all too well. Listen to Chess Peace, the Elian Gonzalez story, as part of the My Cultura podcast network, available on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Cheryl Swoops, WNBA champ, three-time Olympian, and basketball Hall of Famer.

I'm a mom, and I'm a woman. I'm Tarika Foster-Brasby, journalist, sports reporter, basketball analyst, a wife, and I'm also a woman. And on our new podcast, we're talking about the real obstacles women face day to day. See, athlete or not, we all know it takes a lot as women to be at the top of our game. We want to share those stories about balancing work and relationships, motherhood, career shifts. You know, just all the s*** we go through. Because no matter who you are, there are levels to what we experience as women. And T and I, well, we have no problem going there.

Listen to Levels to This with Cheryl Swoops and Tarika Foster-Brasby, an iHeart Women's Sports production in partnership with Deep Blue Sports and Entertainment. You can find us on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Presented by Elf Beauty, founding partner of iHeart Women's Sports. Oh, that's important. Yes, I mean, that's beautiful. I feel very red. I feel it's cathartic. So what I'd like to do

is I'd like to give you some names and you should read them on the spot. And I will give you three. This is hard. Omarosa. Who is Omarosa? Omarosa was

the contestant on The Apprentice, and then she worked in the Donald Trump White House for a little bit. That woman. No, okay, that's a time. We'll do someone else. Okay, President Obama. President Obama. Bitch.

Last time I checked, going to Martha's Vineyard nine times a year is not okay for a president. Okay, what the fuck am I paying for exactly? My tax dollars are going for you and Miss Michelle and her Pilates classes and sending those trashy ass kids

to their Ivy League schools. Good. You will not be missed. You will not be missed. What the fuck are we paying for? What are we paying for? A fucking president? Okay, here's another one.

Ronald McDonald. Okay. Ronald McDonald. You think you can dress like that because you're tall? No. You are more pale than my white ass. You need to go to the tanning beds and get yourself a little tanning mask. And quit, honestly, quit catering to kids.

And quit pandering to kids. You're right. You're right. He needs to, as we say, level his pussy up. Level your pussy up. Level your pussy up. Level your pussy up, Ronald McDonald. Do you have one more?

You know what? Yes, I do. No, you don't have to. If you don't. No, I do. Mr. Rogers. Mr. Rogers. The late great.

The late great. Thank you so much what you've done for TV and what you've done for kids. But thank you so much what you've done for TV and what you've done for kids. But thank you so little for all those fucking shoes that you put on and off. Do you know how many people would dream for a pair of shoes? Yes. Yes.

Yes. Yes. Fuck you, Mr. Rogers. Fuck you, Mr. Rogers. And what do you think of Tom Hanks playing Mr. Rogers in a feature film? Is that true? Yes. Fuck you, Mr. Rogers. Fuck you, Mr. Rogers. And what do you think of Tom Hanks playing Mr. Rogers in a feature film? Is that true? Yes. That's news today.

That's news today, which producer Joe told us explicitly not to discuss since this episode will be released two weeks later. But what are your thoughts? He doesn't control us is the thing that he doesn't know. Oh, my God. Okay. This is not a read, but Tom Hanks is one of the good guys. And I'm holding out that he will stay a good guy. I hope so.

I think he's a good guy. If something comes out, I'm going to the moon. You're going to the moon, honey. I'm going to the moon. Would you have the means to do that? I don't think you did. Okay, we'll see. We'll see.

I don't think they would allow you to go to the moon. I think it'd be a real fucking chaotic mess. I'd sneak on. If something comes out about Tom Hanks, you better start reading People Magazine again, honey my god you're right can i ask to just reverse everything can i ask you a question you like backstreet boys love but you don't like in sync correct okay so did you not like in sync because am i not right who likes in sync who likes justin timber like now okay i mean not now not now as in like in the last year, because as we know, he's a problem.

But wait, did you dislike NSYNC because they were a threat to Backstreet Boys? Yes. Okay, yeah. It's good that you can admit that. But I must say now that the Backstreet Boys have held up throughout the years. They kind of went into a more like doo-woppy thing after.

They certainly did. And I think it's holding up for their age and they're still touring and they're doing all their cruise ships honey and NSYNC

it aged flash in the pan and it aged yeah you know what album I enjoyed was I want to say

like 2005 and then they had that song that I was I was like incomplete it was that one but no it was the remember that song that was like hey sweet baby that yes that's a good song that's a really it's called real world oh my god no it's a weird it's a weird world don't you know it weird world yes

weird world that's what it is yeah hey hey hey sweet baby they're harmonies so good what is this face for I don't know that fucking shit okay but Matt that's not good

I'll tell you what's good Matt didn't stay so baby I'm sorry just wanna tell you don't worry I will be late don't stay up and wait for me

say it again you're dropping on my battery it's low just say it now I'm going to a place nearby gotta go Wait for me. Say it again. You're dropping on my battery. It's low. Just say it now. I'm going to a place nearby. Gotta go.

Hello. Hello. Hello. Oh, and that was the crucial part. The hello, hello, hello. Yes. That mix. The call.

I love a good storytelling song. Thank you. How come we don't get them anymore? Yes. Sorry. No, they start out with that song and paint this picture of this playboy and then the next song they ask you to forgive them with um uh uh i want it that way it's ridiculous it the the lineup is black and blue wait was was the call on that call was on black and blue and i want that way was famously on Millennium. I can't believe I have to get up in here.

Wait a minute, wait a minute. I was the one who spotted, who blew the whistle on that, honey. Yeah, yeah, I made the mistake. Don't you dare come in here. You didn't even listen to Weird World, bitch. I don't need to listen to Weird World because it's a weird song.

I listen to Black and Blue and when they hang up their hat the first listen to Black and Blue. It's not. And when they hang up their hat the first time, I believe them. Oh, my God. Did you ever listen to that song, Siberia? Then my heart gave time in Siberia. And then I think it's AJ. Oh, my God, a gag.

It is beautiful. AJ could really sing, huh? Yes. Yes. And he can be my sex god. AJ could really sing, huh? Yes. Yes. And he can be my sex god. And he has that jawline, bitch. Isn't Brian Luttrell a Trump? I believe he's a Trump.

I would not be surprised. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. And his cousin, Kevin. You know, they're Kentucky boys. They're trash. I have a beef with Backstreet Boys, actually.

That's not even related to Trump. What? I don't think so, honey, Backstreet Boys, because after Since You've Been Gone came out, which famously went, Since you've been gone. They came out with a song that said, I just want you to know. Okay, but didn't Lady Gaga do the same thing from Madonna? Didn't she? Excuse me.

Wow. I don't think so, Lady Gaga. Wow. Okay. You know that she saved Bowen's life. He says that. Come on. I say Beyonce saved my life.

You say Lady Gaga saved your life and don't try to retreat. Just because she showed up at the Grammys looking pulled, don't you try to retreat. Oh, my God. Enough of this. Wait. Beyonce changed your parameters and Gaga saved your life. Honey. Honey.

Two can intersect. Beyonce did not save your life. You don't say that. I say Beyonce saved my life. Beyonce changed my life. When? I have a story that goes. You're flip-flopping.

That I was coming out of college. Did not know what the fuck I was. I pulled out my med school applications. Didn't know what the fuck I was, I pulled out my med school applications, didn't know what the fuck I was gonna do with my life, didn't know if I was gonna stay in the city, if I was gonna move back in with my parents, depressed as hell until I was walking down Broadway, and School and Life came on by Beyonce,

and then her lyric, Stop Livin' in Regret, Baby, It's Not Over Yet, came on, and I, something clipped, a switch flipped, and I was, I was like, you know what? I'm going to make this work. And honey, I did make it work, bitch. Don't you dare try to rewrite my narrative.

I'm proud of you. I was prompting you to say that. I'm really proud of you. That was not Beyonce's intention with that lyric. To change your life, I have to say. It is a throwaway lyric and you read too deeply into it yeah you should you should re-change your life you're right i'll re-change you need to go to med school honey yes yes honey re-change your life imagine what you could be my new song that i'm gonna put out

re-change re-change your life if you change your life. Rechange it, bitch. It didn't work. Rechange your life. So speaking of life, we're going to have to ask you the question that we ask 100% of our guests, actually. No guest has not been asked this question. That's true. Okay. That's not going to change today. Okay.

We're going to ask it. Bowen, take it away. Annie, what was the culture that made you say culture is for me it's the culture that you found swept under the rug by you know a stern governess yeah but you found that culture under the rug and you said i'm not telling the governess about this i'll take it to my room and i'll grow it put it to my ear yes every day it will grow bigger until it's a tree that i could climb to the skies of culture like jack and the bean stalk so i have a question even though you described this so well is this like a moment that i knew or in retrospect it can be both it It can be anything.

It can be, you know, a song that you heard, a movie that you saw, a TV show, a play, the neighborhood you grew up in. Or a moment of life. Just something that made you you culturally. Your mother's cooking. Yes. Something that made me me. One thing that comes to mind is going to this gay dance club in Houston. Oh, it's called South Beach.

And I'll tell you why it was so, uh, such a turning point for me because I had never been to a gay club. I'd only been to straight and there's such a different energy in the room. And I felt like the, the, this, this was my scene that it was all about the dance. It was all about the room. And I felt like this was my scene, that it was all about the dance. It was all about the fun. It was all about everyone feeling good and not feeling like I'm being hunted.

Yes. Oh, yeah. I was slapped by a man in the women's restroom. What? And I deserved it, and I will never forget it. I'm sorry. No. Explain. What? And I deserved it and I will never forget it. I'm sorry. No. Explain.

What did you do to deserve getting slapped in the women's restroom of a Houston gay bar? My little sheltered life. I had never seen a man bravely, without any regret,

walk into the women's restroom and start peeing. Okay. And so I go in the stall next to him and i can see him uh you know his his legs underneath the yes and i had had some flirtinis or whatever and i said out loud the bathroom was full excuse me don't you think you need to sit down to pee in here oh my god what the fuck did you just say and he finished and i finished and we met outside the stall oh my god i said what don't you understand english

he goes bitch and he slapped me across the face he said i speak three languages and marched out without washing his hands i don't care how many languages he speaks. He should not have fucking slapped you. With his penis hands. Ew, yes. You know he had penis hands. I know, honey. I think about that all the time.

I can't believe this happened. I was in shock. That's formative. I was in shock and I loved it. At the time, I didn't love it. I was like, oh my God, I have done something wrong. Oh my God. Oh my God, Annie.

My existence is troubling and now I just love it. I fucking deserved it. Oh, I don't. Well, I'm glad that you love it, but I don't know that he should have fucking slapped you. I don't think any man should ever hit a woman, but I'm happy that you feel that it's... It was such a motherly... Don't talk that way. Oh, okay. I don't know if that makes it any

better, but I understand, I guess, in some respect. I'm also not promoting women violence. No, no, no. But I would say that... Well, I'll ask you this question. Do you think you'd be sitting here in this chair today had he not slapped you with his penis? Yes, I do. it did not need to happen for any life that wasn't the answer i was expecting you to give yes i would be here

but being at that club is yeah okay yes i will say annie has a deep appreciation for 90s house music. Big. Big for you. Just for historic, holistic queer culture. Annie knows. Annie is one who knows. Annie, I will remind the children, during culture war, marched down the aisle in full drag regalia. Yeah, there was a fierce wig. Had a shirtless male. It was my first lace front wig. I was very proud.

Beat for the gods. That hair was coming out of your head. Yes. Yes, ma'am. Follicles. And the bodysuit, honey. Yeah, it was unforgettable. Unforgettable.

And then, of course, you came back for the second round and the third. Yes. I did not. I felt like the outfit was everything. I didn't deserve those final rounds. I don't think so, honey. It was okay. But I knew it was all about what I was giving.

You. The look. But it doesn't matter. You got to get a gimmick. You got to get a gimmick. As Stephen Sondheim once said. If you want to get a hair. Yes. That's how itick. As Stephen Sondheim once said. If you wanna get a hair. Yes, that's how it goes.

See, she gets it. She gets it deeply. I want you to, as much as you can speak on this, what was your sort of mindset going into culture war? When did the idea come that you had to have this entrance, this look? Because no one else did it. No one you had to have this entrance, this look, you know, like I, because no one else did it.

No one else thought to do it. There was Tim Murray who did a reveal. He did reveals. On reveals, that was very good. But this was the next level. I mean, we didn't know where you were until we called your name and then you appeared. You appeared out of thin air. The spotlight couldn't find me for a moment.

Yes, yes. That's moment. Yes. Yes. That's fine. Yes. But to answer your question, honestly, the moment you emailed me and asked me to be on the, and I think this was pretty far in advance of the show date. Yeah. Oh, yeah. For sure.

I was like, if he is team blue, I am going for Ice Queen and And I immediately got on Amazon and started Googling Ice Queen. And it's all these stupid frozen costumes. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Very stupid. Very stupid. It took me a couple days to stumble upon the haunted cape, as I call it. But I do want to just point out that you were resurrected by me. And you did finish as a finalist on my team.

I did. So. I was red at the end of the night. Yeah. I was red at the end of the night. Yeah. You were red at the end of the night and it was my team that was victorious. I always do love to remind the listeners. Sure. Now, Annie.

Thank you, Matt. All three finalists were mine. Oh, how do you feel about that? He doesn't feel good, but he'll never admit it. The judges sort of, you know, misstepped. I agree. I did perform sexual favors on each one of them. So there you go.

Well, Annie, as an act of rectification of that night, we would like to present you something. There is no question in our minds that this is the moment that Annie Donnelly, we would like to present you for your excellence in culture with the fourth Las Culturistas Icon Award. And we have a certificate. And we have a certificate printed for you. And this is the hat. I'm giving her the hat.

Please, please read the certificate out loud. Las Culturistas Icon Award. Awarded to Annie Donnelly, spelled correctly, bless you, for your contributions in gagging and challenging Las Culturistas and all of its listeners and your elevation of pop culture in your own light. In your own right. Oh, in your own right. Yes.

This is beyond. Please have the hat. You'll have to tape that feather on yourself. I won't do it for you. And it won't fit on you now, but the hat is yours. This is everything to me. Thank you. So you are the second recipient of the Las Culturistas Icon Award. You will join

Pat Regan in the Hall of Fame, in the Las Culturistas Hall of Fame. I can't believe this! You are an Icon Award winner. A deserving winner. A deserving winner. Absolutely. Wow. So thank you so much, Annie. And on that note, we are gonna take a break. Take a short break and we'll be right back with Annie. Yes.

We're back with Annie Donnelly. Yes, we're back with Annie Donnelly. Yes, we're back with Annie Donnelly, who has just been bestowed the Las Colteristas Icon Award winner title. I'm gagged. She is gagged. What will you do during your reign? And we don't know how long it will be. But how will you touch the world as the Las Colteristas Icon Award winner?

Well, I solemnly swear to follow through through social media. Thank you. Just keep giving the people what they want. Yes. Every performance, every public appearance, I'm going to be representing you. The Lost Culture Race does. Yes. And I have to step it up.

I can't just be wearing some Kohl's $20 sweater. Oh, and that's very shady to Kohl's. Shady to Kohl's. Which is actually rule number 15 of culture. You can't just be wearing some shady Kohl's sweater. Yeah. Yeah. You can't just be wearing some shitty Kohl's sweater.

Now, Annie, I think. Oh, my God. My mom loves Kohl's. My mom shitty Kohl's sweater. Now, Annie, I think. Oh, my God. My mom loves Kohl's. My mom loves Kohl's. It's such a thing. Do you know what it is? It's the coupons. And every rack is the sales rack.

Yes. So you feel like you're shopping smart. Yes. And there's something to that. Rule number 16 of culture. My mom loves Kohl's. Absolutely. It immediately followsohl's. Absolutely. It immediately follows number 15.

Yes. Now, I think that this is, you know what? No one will really come close to, you know, I'll mention Pat, but no one will really come close to you in terms of this award. No one. Here's the thing. We don't give this out lightly. We give it out very heavily.

Yes. I understand there's only two people now who are stowed with this honor. It's like you both are the Chad Michaels and Alaska Thunderfuck of Las Colcheristas. Are you watching? Are you watching? I'm not.

Just telling Matt, I have to pirate the new... I don't have VH1. Oh, sure, sure, sure. Actually, yeah. We have to figure out, is that still the same this year where it's difficult to watch the episode afterwards? They've been posting the full episode online.

Have they? Yes. Okay. Oh, just on VH1.com. Just on VH1.com. Okay, it's not over yet. They might change it soon where there is some sort of wall. So I will be doing that tonight.

You know, I don't go clubbing anymore. Yeah, no, not being preg. Not preg. So give us a glimpse into finding out that you were preg. So this is a real, this is a big moment in one's life, yes? It's a big moment, yes. As much as you can want to share, of course. Yeah, I will say this.

Even if you plan and you make a... Vision board. You vision board it up and you raw dog it. Yeah. Okay? Yeah. Okay. The moment you pee on that stick, for me, I was like, I know.

I know. I don't even have to pee. I feel it. Because you felt your body was telling you that you are preg? Yes. You just feel like the surge of something. Yeah. And I really do think it's like all the hormones getting ready to create something.

Create something like a baby. And for me, it was like surprise and immediate happiness. And then it's like, oh. This changes everything. This changes everything. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I would be thinking, oh, my God, I'm so happy. Oh, no, yeah. I would be thinking, oh my God, I'm so happy. Oh no.

Labor. See, I haven't really thought about labor yet. And some snarky motherfuckers will, what about when you have, this pain you're feeling right now, this is nothing compared to childbirth. I don't mean to make you think of that. I know, I know. But I haven't truly thought about labor. I'm just like, oh, this is going to be fine. I feel good.

It'll be 15 minutes. Oh, God. It'll be 15, 20 minutes. Some women, a day, two days. I know, I really can't imagine. I can't. Just howling like a wounded animal. That's a really good impression.

That's really good. Mo, just gutter moans. I don't know about it. I don't think so, honey. Labor. Did you see? There was like something. It was, I think it was like some website.

I think it was BuzzFeed actually, like took the men on their staff and they were put through like a simulation of what labor feels like. I love it. They were stuck with like. Like the tornado simulator. Like they were like. I love it. They were stuck with like- Like the tornadoes. Like they were like,

I don't know, they put these like, I guess like, what would you call them? Electrodes. Electrodes all over their body, like on their stomach or whatever.

And they would, out of nowhere, they'd be laying on there. They would just shock them with like what were meant to be labor pains. And they would be screaming. Unbelievable.

I was going to say, stick one of those little things on your dick hole and have it expand, and maybe that would be more in line. Yeah, they say the equivalent is for men to push a lemon out of their penises. Or kidney stones, to pass a kidney stone. Oh, but it's worse than that.

Well, it is, but that's the best you can, yeah. Right, right, right. How do you get kidney stones so I can never have them? It um it's a build-up of uric acid and it crystallized i believe and isn't a mineral like if you drink a lot of mineral water yeah yeah it's like um what just yeah it's mineral water it's stuff it's stuff that would you know horrified. Wait, how do I never do that? I think pomegranate tea might give you. Oh, fuck you. I'm drinking pomegranate tea right now. So wait, if I drink a lot of water,

it's going to feel like a lemon coming out of my penis? No, no, no, Matt. You're bouncing around. Look. Lemon. It's fine. Nothing better come out of there but pee and cum. Oh my God.

You should. Or in. Or in cum. Oh my God. You should. Or in. Or in, baby. No thanks. You ever heard about those men who go pee in the Amazon? Oh, the fish. They pee in the lake and the fish swims up their piss. You need to stop.

Into their penis. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's an Amazon penis fish. That's fucked up. It was on Grey's Anatomy. Amazon penis fish? Yeah. Oh my God. That's fucked up. It was on Grey's Anatomy. Amazon Penis Fish? Yeah. Oh my God.

That's my drag name. Amazon Penis Fish. You. Coming to the stage. Amazon Penis Fish. Wait, the men pee in the water and the fish feel the warmth and swim upstream.

Yes, yes, yes. I don't think so, honey, that hard. Is this a parasite and it dies in there? It just stays in there. And yeah, it's... I don't know if it's really draining your bodily resources, but you have to get

it out as soon as possible. Amazonian penis fish is culture. It is culture, honey. You can't say it's not culture. You can't. That's why anyone that says come to Brazil, I'll say I don't think so, honey. No, honey. You can't say it's not culture. You can't. That's why anyone that says, come to Brazil, I'll say, I don't think so, honey. No, no. If I ever become a pop star and people comment on my Instagram, come to Brazil, I'll say, not with those Amazon penis fish.

Figure that out. Then I'll book a date. Yeah. I'll go to Sao Paulo, but Brazil, no. Yeah. Sorry, our Brazilian fans. We're not doing any I Don't Think So Honey Lives in Brazil. Sao Paulo, which. Sao Paulo. Sao Paulo. Sao Paulo, which. See you in Sao Paulo, our Brazilian fans. We're not doing any I Don't Think So Honey Lives in Brazil. Sao Paulo, which.

Sao Paulo. Sao Paulo, which. See you in Sao Paulo, Brazil, bitch. The only part of Brazil we'll go to. Yeah, I'm not going where there's the penis fish. That's no doubt. Now, I think that childbirth is, you know, truly. And you would know.

I would know. Childbirth is a beautiful thing but i mean but yeah let's get back to this do you how are you feeling about just labor in general i haven't she hasn't thought about it bitch i don't you haven't you're making bringing it up again now she's gonna think about it more i i am i am um so consumed with um the day to day yeah fine things that are happening in my body and i have a little book uh what to expect which when you're expecting oh i heard of this book right right it was bestowed upon me and it is helpful yeah but it it is very um terrifying it gives you warnings but that's okay it's okay to feel scared as long as it's preparing you.

Right. When is the due date for the baby? July 21st. July 21st. What sign does that make it? It's a- Leo? No, it's-

Sagittarius? It's one of the bitchy ones that only likes designer clothes. I'm like, you are in for something else, Kohl's. This mom loves Kohl's. I'll tell you that right now. You are going to be shopping at Kohl's's. This mom loves Kohl's. I'll tell you that right now. You are going to be shopping at Kohl's down. This mom loves Kohl's. This mom loves Kohl's.

It might be a title of that. I don't know. There was a good one before. Digital Brutalism is ahead for me. Digital Brutalism. Because I feel like that represents Annie. You know what? Fine, fine, fine, fine, fine.

But this baby better learn. Oh, this baby. I would say this. This baby better learn how to, you know, take a fucking joke. Tell me about it. Because with these parents, I don't know. You and Joey are going to be fucking making jokes to that baby. I feel like we have to be careful because it could really turn on us.

Like, how will we feel like when we're making jokes at this baby and this baby's like, I hate comedy. I don't like to laugh. I'm antisocial because of all the jokes you make. And I do not want a little wallflower child. I don't want an outgoing. You don't want your baby to be that person that's like around comedians and they go can we ever not do a bit oh my god there's nothing worse i don't think so why is it always a bit it's like why can we ever be just like can we be real i don't think so go hang out at the corner yeah

you know what you know i've been that with all your real bodega friends yeah i've been that person and i've i've been to a bodega when my friends have been too much. Okay, well. Then stay there, ho. Stay there, you ho. You're just lucky you're cute, Beau. Standing on the corner in front of the bodega waiting for a John.

For a John. To pick you up and take you home. You ever heard of a penis fish before? I got an Amazonian penis fish in my pants. I'm really sick. You know, I try. That's a real kink, I bet. Some penis fish.

Oh, yeah, that's a serious kink. Honey, release the fish. Honey, release the fish. It's the only way it can come is with these fish swimming in my ureter. Whatever you guys have. Urethra? Ureter? Urethra?

Urethra. You have a urethra? Yeah, I think that we all have a urethra, actually. I think across the board. Women have their urethras, too. A ureter is- This is stuff you need to know. You're going to be a mother?

God, this mom loves calls. This mom loves calls. This mom god this mom this mom loves calls this mom loves calls wait hold on yes did cause Bowen's sister just recently had a baby

which means she went through childbirth she did did she have a natural birth or was it all about the drugs she was uh ooh

I haven't asked but she she went into labor at 3am and then the baby wasn't born until 11 a.m. So it was an eight-hour labor. Which, you know, that seems pretty normal to me.

I don't know. Can you stop it? Honestly, I have not even processed. Wait, I didn't bring up the labor again. You did. I was just— I did not normalize the labor time i have to tell you i skipped each picture he's shaking his motherfucking head like he has any dog in this fight get out

leave the room all right you know i skipped to the end of the book where it's all about how to you know assist your partner in labor it's for the guys there's there's sectionist for the husband and it was describing what i will be going through. And honey, I flipped it right back to week 15 because I am not ready. No, not ready. Okay, yes. It was bad. So you were-

This is impossible. Childbirth is impossible. Every woman, almost every woman does it. Almost every woman. Almost every woman. Almost every woman. This is tough. I don't know.

Here's the thing. Almost every woman, look, I'll say almost every woman should. This is tough. I don't know. Here's the thing. Almost every woman, look, I'll say almost every woman should. Oh my god. We have been tasked by god. Yes, it is your duty. I don't know. All I know is

this. You know who said she's had two babies and whenever she's asked about her pregnancy, she's very upset? Kelly Clarkson. She had bad pregnancies. Have you heard about kelly clarkson's pregnancies no but they weren't they weren't enjoyable well but didn't kim kardashian have a horrible second she had a bad one but then there's some women like that say the pregnancy is the most beautiful time in their lives they were more comfortable every day than they ever how are you feeling right now you feel pretty good i

feel comfortable i feel great except frequent peeing frequent peeing but i'm already kind of getting into that mode of like you have to deal with my presence i am pregnant yes yeah i am doing my own thing i do not care yeah yeah no that's good that's good like you when before we hit we hit the airwaves she said i may have to leave at a moment's notice to go pee. Drop of a dime. And we said, yes. We couldn't push back on them. We couldn't be like, no.

We actually were contacted beforehand by her reps and said, you cannot push back on this. We didn't even push back. I have been slapped in the face by a gay. I refuse to be pushed. And he was a representative of the gay community in that moment. Yes. As a whole. With his penis hands.

And you've been slapped by another penis hand. Penis hand. I'm sorry. We have to find him. Yeah. Who is it? And kill him. He's useless.

He's just useless. He deserves. It's punishable by death. Anyway, I mean I I don't I just to go back to that I don't accept

I don't accept that no that was horrible you shouldn't have gone through that I shouldn't have gone through that maybe but we were both so like you know it's one of those stories

like we're both drunk maybe he should have done it maybe I shouldn't have said it maybe he shouldn't have been in the girl's bathroom maybe he shouldn't have he should have washed his hands. There's a lot of woulda, coulda,

shoulda's here. But you know what? If you met him now, you might be close friends. Oh my god. You might be close friends. He could teach me all those languages he knows. All three of them. Yeah, what? I would like to know what these languages are. Yeah, honey. Please. American Sign Language does not

count. I was just gonna say American Sign Language does not count. I was just gonna say American Sign Language does not count. I took it in college as a foreign language. They call it the IPA? No. ASL. ASL. IPA is a beer. No, what's IPA? It's an Indian Pale Ale. Oh, shit.

Well, of culture. Whenever I... Well, of culture. Sometimes when you go on the dating apps it'll say ipa i don't i don't know do they just talking about the beer i don't know what ipa is i thought it was international phonetic alphabet or something and i just didn't understand oh okay under languages they say are you looking this up look this up please look up if there's hpj look up if there's two different kinds of ipa and i'm not talking about like very bitter ipa that's what it's gonna pull up yeah if it pulls that up you're both we're both right thank you gods dear gods thank Dear gods, thank you. Gods. What is?

The Greek gods, the Roman gods. Which gods are you beckoning? The Pantheon. The Pantheon. I'm Greek. I'm Greek, which means I believe in several gods. All the Pantheon. Good.

There's, of course, Zeus, Aphrodite, honey, Hercules. Hermes. Hermes. You know, all my girls. Yeah. yeah all my girls i have a lot of girls they're yeah yeah mighty yeah harrah of course harrah my my number one girl um did i say zeus number one girl yes i'll say him again because we're very close can't forget zeus zeus is the number one girl. Yes, we get it. I'll say him again because we're very close. Can't forget Zeus. Zeus is the queen.

What if somebody accepted an Oscar and thanked all the Greek gods? I would die. I would die. She'd be like, I have to thank Zeus. I have to thank Aphrodite. I have to thank Hermes. Hera, you my girl. You've been with me for 30 years. Oh, Poseidon.

Poseidon, oh my God. For all the way under the sea. Artemis. Watching tonight. Artemis Ares, you catch me grounded. Hercules, go to bed, sweetie. There you go. Oh, my God.

Can I tell you what I don't think so, honey? Whenever anyone wins an Oscar and they tell their kids to go to bed. Oh. Shut up. Come on. And that's so overused. Overdone. We've seen it. We. Overdone. We've heard it. We've seen it.

Will Ferrell just did it on SNL. Or I think he said my son's birthday was this week. Also, can I tell you something? You're not fooling me because guess what? The Oscars, I know they tape three hours before. So you know those Oscars are at 5pm. So therefore, that means

around 5.45, these Best Supporting Actress winners telling their kids to go to bed. Guess what, honey? Unless your kid is a motherfucking infant, it's not going to bed at 5.45 p.m. So think about that. That's me pulling back the curtain on culture.

Oh, wow. So they're just doing it for the... They're doing it for the moment. The moment. Yeah. Wow. I didn't know that it was a pre-taped. Absolutely.

I would imagine that they show the Oscars live in LA. There's... Yeah. Well, live in LA means like 5 p.m. in LA. That's what I'm saying. So when those actresses get up there at 5.45 p.m. There's no way they're kids. And they say, go to bed, sweetie.

I love you. It's like 6 o'clock. But maybe their kids are on the East Coast. I don't think so, honey. I don't think they are. I think they're lying. No, mother. I just poked holes, bitch.

You know what? Even if they are, it's only 8.45. Which might be late. The kids say, any time past 9 9 kids are gagged and they say I stayed up past 9 that's ridiculous oh my god but 6pm I mean really that's way too you two are wrong I don't want to hear it

let me tell you something I will meet your kid I would assume okay and it's staying up all night I don't know I mean it will for the first couple of years it will stay up all night. Yeah, goddamn right. Okay, and then when I'm doing my late night comedy shows,

I will keep that kid awake for when I arrive and we'll all go to bed together at 2 a.m. and we'll all get up at 10 a.m. and we'll be a happy family. I have a question for you. Put him on blast. Which comedy venues are you going to bring your kid to? And which ones are you not going to bring your kid to?

Oh, my God. In New York. I will never bring my kid to UCB East. I just, what is that? A movie theater? The kid will want to like be, where's the popcorn? Where's the movie? The kid will want the popcorn.

Yeah. Yeah. I will bring my child to um what's a good one um you know i know where you would have brought your kid jilly departed your kid would have been crawling on the floor at the annoyance oh my god the annoyance the rats did you know i was teaching a class and a rat uh scurried across the floor oh And this girl, who never spoke in class, she was trying so hard to get her to speak and open up. She stood up, grabbed a trash can lid as a shield,

like Xenon, the warrior princess, and beat the rat with the broom. Didn't kill it. The rat runs into the back room. I said, class is over. Over. It is over. It is over, honey.

You cannot go on from that moment. And a boy finished the job in the back. Killed it. And together the class killed the rat? Killed the rat. And I said, we will form a circle and we will have a funeral for this rat. I mean, we left it there for the poor soul who had to clean it up, but we... That class is bound forever

until the end of time by that rat. Yes, and Anthony Oberbeck had a rat fall from the ceiling in that basement. Oh my God, that's so fucked up. Can you imagine sitting in that theater enjoying a show and a rat falls upon you? Your head. No, that's insane. A rat falls upon you? Your head. No, that's insane.

A rat falls on a student's head. You know what? It's over. It is over. It is over. She is over. Can we get real on this? Do you miss the space or do you miss the theater?

Or do you miss neither? I miss the theater. Sometimes I do you do you miss neither i miss the theater uh sometimes i think oh that space was so cool but i house managed there and i was i had to work there and it would get so crowded and there was one bathroom i hated that there was one bathroom that one bathroom that was right there by the stage so anytime somebody you know dropped the kids off it would just stunk up the whole goddamn somebody dropped the kids off, it would just dunk up the whole goddamn place. I dropped the kids off a lot in that bathroom. I took a shit there. Yeah, it beckoned.

It was a nice bathroom. Yeah, the bathroom was fine. I mean, it wasn't a nice bathroom. It wasn't the Four Seasons. It was a spacious bathroom. It wasn't the fucking Four Seasons. It wasn't the Four Seasons bathroom. I will say that space,

there was something about this. I mean. Annoyance Theater, Dilly Departed, New York. Beautiful. There was something special about that space and beautiful, but just the fact that fucking rats

fell from the ceiling is unacceptable. No, it was totally unacceptable. You know what? What were we to do? Louder than jazz? More like shitty with rats. That's a read. That's a read. That's a read. That's a read.

That's a read. That's a read. It definitely is. Shitty with rats. But you're right. A comedy show. I don't mean to, I don't mean to,

I don't mean to, you know, comment on just, just acquiring that space. But, you know, because what were you to do? What were we to do? To plug up all the holes

with rat cement? I mean, like, what do you do?? What were we to do? To plug up all the holes with rat cement? I mean, like, what do you do? We have fond memories there. I have such fond memories. Probably because a rat never fell on our head, but I'm able to say that I have fond memories there. Is this where? I had two shows there.

I miss it every day. You had- Good Morning Hell with Anna Dresden. Oh, God, that was a good one. That was really fun. And then, of course, Lake Homo High. Yes. And I believe the Annoyance back theater is where the

infamous line treat to me was born. Yeah well that's when we first looked at Annie and we said you are a treat to me. What the? A treat to me actually maybe that should be the title of it. A treat to me. You walked into that back room with your entourage of all the Lake Homo high,

and you saw me sitting there, and you go, you are a treat to me, and Bowen lost his bladder. I mean, I was like, what? And we just said, treat to me. It never gets old. It never gets old. It never will. No.

A treat to me. Because Annie is a treat and with that i think that we should treat each other oh oh with some i don't think so honeys i think it's time i think why i'm here arrived at the moment uh of i don't think so honey which is of course um that moment where we take one minute each to rail against something in culture and we have something uh in common here because Annie Donnelly has you know I don't think so honey lost culture is this

before yes that's specifically us and it's it was very disrespectful and that was and you never did get contacts bitch clocked what is wrong with you? Oh my God.

She's right. She never did get a contact. You got new glasses, in fact. I didn't. Not new ones. But I am about to get new glasses. What was my read on that one?

Oh, can we hang out because all your friends get famous except you, bitch? That's right. Okay. And what have you done?

I've been trying really hard. But you're hanging out now. So that's beautiful. Yeah, that's true. So I actually would like to go first. Yeah, because I'm, you know what, classically unprepared. So this is Matt Rogers' I Don't Think So Honey, and his time starts now. I don't

think so honey any motherfucking Donnelly. We have an overpopulation problem, bitch. We don't need your fucking stupid ass kid. By the way, how'd this bitch get pregnant? She's 60 years old, this motherfucker. Annoyance Theater is closed. How the fuck's she gonna keep a kid alive?

She can't even keep her motherfucking own theater alive, bitch. Annoyance Theater. Yeah, I'll tell you what's annoying. This bitch coming up and doing every comedy show, doing her anti-comedy. Oh, dearly departed Annoyance Theater. There's no place for all the anti-comedians to go. Guess what, bitch? Check Annie Bill that Annie motherfucking Donnelly is on. She's coming out here doing character performance in quotes. No, bitch.

She annoying my ass. I don't think so, honey. Annoyance theater, aka Annie Donnelly. Let me tell you something, bitch. Let me tell you something, bitch. 15 seconds. There is a problem in the world. It's overpopulation. It's Annie Donnelly polluting.

Polluting the world. You should have checked the population of the world before you got pregnant, okay? I rue the day. That's one minute. I am mortified. I rue the day. That doesn't even make sense

I should have checked The population We don't need your kid Bitch didn't even come up for air On that one I was feeling some kind of way And I've been waiting to take you down Since you came for me

Several times And you tried to blacken my name in this village. And I smeared it good, bitch. You did. You tried to come for me and I come for you. Oh my, this is worse than getting slapped. I also, I mean none of what I say.

That's what we call a read. But that was a read. Wow, I don't know if I can follow that. Well, I think that you, I think that you can. I think you know what to do.

You have to. I'm deflated. Okay, alright. I think you know what to do. Okay, here we go. And Bowen Nix,

I don't think so, honey. His time starts now. I don't think so, honey. Annie motherfucking Donley. Bitch, you think you can just

come on this show and we're gonna award you the Las Culturistas Icon Award and the hat? Just, willy fuck nilly-nilly no there's a price to pay motherfucker

you are gonna take a verbal assault from us and don't you dare hashtag me to this one bitch because because you cannot you cannot say that you that this was that you did that this was unwarranted honey a bitch deserve it I have

I have not recovered since. 30 seconds. You commented on my sexual life, on me not getting laid, bitch, because, honey, it is a chore for me to fucking bag a man, to bring a man home into my bed. Impossible with these glasses. And I will never get glasses, bitch. I never get contacts, bitch, is what I meant to say. So, honey, honey, I don't think so, honey.

Annie Donnelly and bitch, this baby, you better, this baby will resent you and Joey and say, I can't laugh because my mother, she ruined laughter for me. That's one. Oh, my God. You better, and guess what? If you don't make us the baby's godfathers, we will never stop. I don't think so, honey. Yes, we're going to, we're

super cast like you both will be the godfather. I am religious. Okay. I thought you were going to say we're super casting the godparents right now. I say I am religious and then I religiously forget to pay off all my credit cards. Okay. There you go.

Coming for a newborn is a new low. Both of you, shame on you. Yeah, we accept it. Happy to lower the bar. Happy to lower the bar. Because when you step on that stage and you come for us, it only made us stronger. Do you want retaliation right now? Is that what you're asking for?

Go ahead, bitch. Whatever you want. Whatever you want. Oh, bitch. Okay okay here we go this is this is annie toddley's i don't think so honey your time starts now i don't think so honey i came on this podcast to talk and do it i don't think so honey on the sims 3 and how it is so cool to be a vampire sims but after that ferocious read, I don't think so, honey. I will be coming for your host, Matt Rogers and Bowen Day. How dare you post on social media yesterday you had your most favorite guest of all time. And then ask me the next day to come in after that. And all your friends are like, who was it?

Who was the guest? Please tell us. We are chained to your podcast. And then you drag my ass to 81... We work with all the slugs of humanity sitting on beanbags, and I have to pour water from the well just to get a sip out here. You tell me I cannot take a bathroom break. I am pregnant.

And then you read me. After you... You tell... You've take a bathroom break. I am pregnant. And then you read me. After you tell... You've already had your favorite guest. Why have any more? This podcast needs to be shut down. Forever dog, never dog. I have had it. You are rude, rude, rude.

I don't think so. Forever dog Never dog You are rude That was the ultimate read On forever dog Forever dog Never dog Ew

You have the wire in your mouth Joe Joe it's okay Let Joe be HB Joe got so nervous During that read That he was eating He was eating the equipment It's okay

Get that out of your mouth oh my god you know what do we feel better we're even I feel like that was very cathartic oh my god that's you're only gonna get that from Annie no I mean come on you think cause after those vicious

reads we gave people would usually you know they would go back into their proverbial shell, but not you. You are a warrior. I am no turtle. She is no turtle. That's right. Warrior queen. She was not gonna recede. Or concede. I have to say, I was very surprised by the

icon of war. I was very surprised by these reads. Yeah. We're shocking and provocative. This is a shocking podcast. People don't know, but we are las provocatistas. Oh my God. Bilingual. Bilingual. We speak culture and provocative.

Honey, I speak two languages. Bitch. This is a huge episode. Don't even try it. You've already had your huge good episode. No, stop, stop. This was magic. Look, Annie is queen of kingdom queef.

Pussytastic. What is it? Puss-tastic. Puss-tastic. Mega madness. You can't handle the bitch. You can't handle the bitch. That's right.

I think we need to say it one more time together. Annie Donnelly is queen of kingdom queef. Puss-tastic. Mega madness. You can't handle the bitch. I'm gagged. I'm gagged for Phil. And with that, I think we have to wrap it up on this episode of Las Culturistas.

Thank you, Annie Donnelly, who you can follow at Annie Ask Queef. On Twitter. On Twitter. At Annie the Queen Donnelly on Instagram. Or is that the other way around? No, that's correct. That's it. I know my handles.

You know your history. Your herstory. Now, let's sing. Is there anything you want to say to all the listeners? There are other podcasts out there. Just remember that. You have options as an American and utilize that freedom that soldiers are dying for. Yes. Absolutely. Yes.

Absolutely. Absolutely. I think we're going to sing our song. The soldiers are dying for podcasts. Let me tell you a story about the call that changed my destiny.

Me and my boys went out just to end up in misery. During the war they didn't inform me to end up in misery I said hi Soldiers are dying For podcasts everywhere Soldiers are dying For podcasts everywhere I said

I will be late Don't stay up and wait for me. Bye. Forever Dog. This has been a Forever Dog production. Executive produced by Brett Boehm, Joe Cilio, and Alex Ramsey. For more original podcasts, please visit foreverdogpodcasts.com and subscribe to our shows on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Keep up with the latest Forever Dog news by following us on Twitter and Instagram at Forever Dog Team and liking our page on Facebook.

I'm Julian Edelman. I'm Rob Gronkowski. And we are super excited to tell you about our new show, Dudes on Dudes. We're spilling all the behind-the-scenes stories, crazy details, and honestly, just having a blast talking football. Every week, we're discussing our favorite players of all times, from legends to our buddies to current stars. We're finally answering the age-old question, what kind of dudes are these dudes?

We're going to find out, Jules. New episodes drop every Thursday during the NFL season. Listen to Dudes on Dudes on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, I'm Jay Shetty, and I'm the host of On Purpose. My latest episode is with Jelly Roll. podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Trust me, you won't want to miss this one. On Thanksgiving Day, 1999, five-year-old Cuban boy Elian Gonzalez was found off the coast of Florida. And the question was, should the boy go back to his father in Cuba? Mr. Gonzalez wanted

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