Las Culturistas with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang - "An Emergency With Our Closest Friend" (w/ Cole Escola)

Episode Date: May 22, 2024

Broadway. You don't get bigger than THAT. And today's Las Cultch guest, gleaming diamond of the culture Cole Escola, is headed there, honey. "Oh, Mary!" is the show AND the moment, and Matt & Bowen welcome its star and playwright to discuss reasons for dick appointment cancellation, how it might actually be the time for our civilization to end, and whether or not 45 deserves a turn to *dazzle* on Broadway. All this, Cole's refusal to discuss the Met Gala, the time Bow and Cole saw a Dutch production of Les Miz, new Nicholas Galitzine theories, the best bathroom cruising and birding locations, and the question of whether or not our assholes are the same color as our lips. Also, dream casting for the future of Oh, Mary!, pills, how to battle giardia when it hits your household, theme party etiquette, a lot of tension and a ton of other fucking nonsense. You wanted Cole?! Well, they're here, queer and USED to it (hearing how much Matt and Bowen love them). See Oh, Mary! at the Lyceum starting in June! 12 Weeks Only!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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You can find us on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Presented by Capital One, founding partner of iHeart Women's Sports. Look, man. Where? Oh, I see. Wow. Oh, my. Bowen, look over there. Wow. Is that culture? Yes. Oh, my goodness. Wow. Look over there. Is that culture? Yes.

Las Culturistas. Ding dong. Las Culturistas calling. I just gave prayer hands to the camera. It was involuntary. Well, we do praise God. Praise God. By the way, just so everyone knows moving forward, this is officially a Judeo-Christian podcast. If you have anything to say negative about the Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, Old or New Testament, can it, Missy. You had a really tragic energy coming in. Not tragic energy, but you were a little ornery.

You know what? I actually, as I was walking here today, I was like, am I going to show up as my bitchy self today? Or am I going to put up a front? No. But I'm choosing to be authentic today and say, I'm in a bitchy mood because of two things. And you know when two things go wrong

and then everything else is the third thing? Well, you know, for the domino effect to happen. Now go on. Two dominoes have to fall. Or one has to fall. But one has to knock into the second. That's actually rule of culture number eight. For the dominoes to fall,

one has to fall into the second. Not our best. So, tell us what happened. Well, the first thing was, today I was coming back into New York City. Welcome, by the way. Thank you so much. I'm from Long Island, New York, because it was of course, the Day of Mothers. Mother's Day, I spent the. Thank you so much. I'm from Long Island, New York, because it was, of course, the day of mothers.

Mother's Day. I spent the day with Katrina and co. And I came back in today and was going to open my AirPods. Classic comedy. They fell out onto the train tracks. Classic comedy. And would you believe there actually was a moment where I was like, can I go on the train tracks and get my AirPods? And I said, can you imagine that type of death for me?

Third rail. And then you were going to get railed tonight. Okay. So then the second thing was I get a text like immediately after the AirPods are gone. I did not hop on the track that says my dick appointment that I had to cancel. And I wanted to discuss the reason that he gave. We don't know the reason. We're about to get the big reveal.

No. And I said, the snake is eating its own tail in the gay community when it comes to reasons for canceling on dick appointments. Because we've heard them all. This is one I've used. Having an emergency with his closest friend.

I said, you know what? Just say that your friend needs you. When you said closest friend, that was the tell. I'm having an emergency with my closest friend and they really need me, dot, dot, dot.

Really wanted to hang out wondering about later or maybe when you get back to New Yorkork this is fine this is not a big deal i'm just saying i've used that excuse i'm not sure what the better excuse would be those are two severe words that are used in proximity to each other that is suspicious emergency closest emergency and closest friend like it's not just something came up An emergency came up No it's just a friend No the closest friend

So what I'm saying is We need to come up with a new excuse We need new excuses And I would love to brainstorm today Yeah With our noted queer guest One of the biggest queers That's gonna be really fun to talk to them

Yeah definitely But I think that I really needed the dick after the AirPods went away. I was already excited about it. You know who wants to fuck you? My dad. We can't talk about this. No, actually, don't tell me what I can't talk about. I'm in a bad mood as it is.

I'm not comfortable with you talking about your father being attracted to me. So Bowen has been sort of hitting the gym. And you better get comfortable with Lost Coach becoming the poster children for sex

because we're working so hard in the gym. I went to Barry's today, but this isn't about me. This is about Bow. My dad said, when you did the Mother's Day bit with your mom, who was perfect.

Very, very sweet. My dad goes, Bowen looks fucking great. And he's saying fuck more than ever. Bowen looks fucking great. He's been in the fucking gym. Fucking looking toned. Big arms. You don't have to know anything.

Okay. Don't piss me off. Go ahead, calm yourself down. Because you're out of control is this what they call transference I don't know what that means we're not psychologists he rubs himself

I'm getting transference this is an auspicious day we have our guest joining us back by popular demand. Literally, they beg. They beg us to do.

They beg and plead and it wasn't the right time. And this is the right time because guess what? It's day one of their much deserved time off before previews begin for O'Mary on Broadway. You don't get bigger than Broadway. You don't get bigger than Broadway You don't get bigger than Broadway There's no way up There's not any bigger stage A lot of people have been asking

I swear to God This is a conversation I have constantly With people in the community How do you think they'll make it bigger and better I don't think they have to And that's my answer to every single individual Thank you sis Bigger and better

Shut up I said Shut up It's already big and good It's already big and better Bigger and better Look Bowen I'm so happy

That you have this Oh shut See now I'm pissed off We're so angry What else do you want It is I'm sorry And I said this

I had the privilege Of going opening night At the Lucille Hortel. I walked out of that saying, that is the funniest comedy play ever written, ever produced, ever performed. Why do we want more? Stop it. Let me tell you something. Certainly. Stop it with that colonial attitude.

Certainly the best thing that's been at the Lucille Hortel. Say, hey, all right. Let's not do that. The best thing that's been at the Lucille Hortel. What about hey, alright, let's not do that. The best thing that's been at the Lucio Lortel. What about the Lyceum? Everything before it sucks. What about the Lyceum? Lyceum, more like I-see-um.

Flopping. I-see-um all flopping. At the Lyceum. I-see-um. There's been no good theater. There's been no good. There's been nothing of salt until now. And we were all talking about that,

actually, right before we got on mic. We were all saying how, thank God. There's been no good theater for decades. Well, Cole came in and they said, thank God I decided to do the show. Not since what show has there not been good theater?

I don't think there's been anything good on stage since Mame. Sarah Jessica Parker agrees. Agrees. June 26th, previews begin 12 weeks at the YCM. Only,

give this person a fucking break. Please. Give Conrad Rickamore a goddamn break. No, I say continue to work him. Yeah. He needs to stay busy,

keep the voices at bay. Crazy people. Everyone in that show, everyone in the show is insane and the people backstage are even crazier Hannah Solo

Peter Smith dear god Hannah and Peter squawking oh my god selling their little baubles selling their baubles backstage trying the best they can to get on stage

good luck I say this one's never getting sick have fun with the little marbles and spilling them all over the floor. This one is never going to trip. This one's never getting sick. And if they do trip, you're going to see the bloomers. I'm sorry, I'm spoiling the show.

I'm spoiling the show, aren't I? Well, here's a spoiler. It's incredible. And so is our guest. And when I say they beg, I mean the audience begs the audience literally begs us to have Cole back because they don't like our other episodes

they get mad when we they get furious we're in our polarizing flop era and it ends today with our guest the one and only Cole Essoa. Oh my God. Don't talk when we're talking.

Don't talk when we're talking. That was rude. How dare you? Don't you have enough stage time? You are trying to get me ruined. Yeah. How so? I never said,

I never said that there's never been any good theater. Who are they going to believe, you know? Me or you? You're going to get me in trouble because I'm part of the community now. I love every show that's ever been written. Yeah, that's true. Ever been performed.

Well, what are the top three shows? Top three shows of all time? Yeah. O'Mary. No. Our Town. Our Town. Thornton. My Town. Thornton My Town Thornton and The Town

Oh I love The Town Blake Lively was so good in that Blake Lively, come back to Broadway I would like to see that I would like to see that Ariana Come back to Broadway So Cole would do this bit

way back in the day what would they do now they would pretend to be like I mean how about you tell it I butcher this I just it's a character

that's like all my other characters it's just crazy woman crazy crazy woman all she cares about is getting Ariana Grande back on Broadway

honestly you're in the right place you're in the right place. You're in the right place. You have a direct line. Well, no. Ariana. This is all set up to say, first day on set of Wicked. My friend, Cola Scola, does this bit where they pretend to be this old woman, this theater-going woman, who all she wants. She goes to every show, but all she wants.

Ariana, come back to Broadway. We miss you, sweetheart. Get on this side of the footlights again. I see you at the shows. Yeah. Do something besides Jason. Come on. JRB. Come on. It's all the same. You said that before coming on the mic too. JRB's

all the same. No. No. You are getting me so... Can you imagine what you just did I have mucus a cough in my mouth I was getting mucus up oh my god

we need to start this over let's start this over I think we need to start this over listen I think the listeners need to know that I've been doing eight shows a week

for a long time yeah now explain you sound hot explain what's going on so this voice is tired yeah

now what's the pre-show ritual this voice Is Tired Yeah Yeah yeah yeah Now what's the pre-show ritual Greathers Past Steals Atomizer What do you do I do I vocal steam I meet with Tony

Tony Robbins Oh Robbins Tony Robbins Tony Robbins To censor you Yeah

Bring it on to earth God he's good Yeah God he's good People forget They do forget People forget how good he is, he's good. People forget. They do forget. People forget how good he is.

Yeah, yeah, for sure. But I don't want to forget about the dick appointment excuses. What's your sort of whole read on that situation? You know what? I think just saying I need to reschedule. Yeah, totally fine. I need to reschedule.

Because it's so anxiety inducing because then you have to be like, oh no, I hope your friend's okay. And then, otherwise you're an asshole. Now I'm worried about this friend. Closest.

Closest friend. What kind of emergency? Because not for nothing, but if it's a real emergency, we might not be able to reschedule. You're going to be grieving. Yeah.

This is an emergency with your closest friend. How do you know Thursday is going to work? You don't know that? You have an emergency with your closest friend. An emergency

with your closest friend? You don't know anything about the future. You can't plan out anything. Text them tomorrow. How's your friend doing? Well, I think I might. How's your friend doing? It's like think I might. How's your friend doing?

It's like, it was the kind of thing where it was like, it went a little bit beyond like dick appointment because of how far it went in the sexting. And there even was some verbal. There were some voice messages sent back and forth. Do y'all do that? Gay culture is, gay courting, gay courtship is over-promising, under-delivering gay courtship is over-promising, under-delivering.

Constantly. Over-promising, under-delivering. Don't you think? My mind went to the Olympics. My mind went to Carrie Struth. Well, they're right around the corner.

You going? You going? Yeah, I'll be there because I have to promote the show. Right. In July. 12 weeks.

When does that end? I can't remember. Help us. 3, 4, 5, 6. Five, six, seven. Carry the one. Carry the one. We came up in the same community. We came up in the same community.

We both came up in the same community. Carry the one at the same time. Amazing. I don't know. Anyway. You'll be in Paris. I'll be in Paris for the Olympics promoting O'Mary. Yeah.

Now, do you think they know who she is? Being that she's, I'm reading in my notes, a former first lady of the United States. Well, you know, I think a lot of people forget. Yeah. Well. People forget. Can I be honest and say you were on Seth? It was perfect.

Seth Meyers, a friend of the community. Yeah. And a little too friendly, I think. Well, total gay guy. He's arriving at that. Let him cook. You're right. Let him come out.

Let him cook. Let him cook. Let Seth Meyers come out on his own terms. Right. So, uh, you said on his show that,

um, you did almost no research because, and I think this is so smart because you would have written jokes that were like, well, that's going to get a laugh because that's where she was born. Yeah. Well, I got

a lot of people... The story has been fucking annoying. No, no, no. Just two people being like, oh, this person does no research and now they get a play on Broadway? Yes, actually. Wow. And I'm like, you don't understand the decades of work

that went into this play. Yes. It literally has been. Yeah. 15 years? 15, 18, 19. Oh, God. Actually, though? Carry the one.

Please. Someone else carry the one. Yeah. My back hurts. My back hurts. Someone else carry it. Carry it. Carry it.

They're pointing. You at home. Carry the one. So, why do you think she was so crazy? Mary? Yeah. What do you think she was so crazy Mary yeah what do you think it was I have no idea

she was hysterical that woman she was she was kind of silly yeah she's just a silly little gal right she liked to have fun

with her friends go shopping yeah you know and then Abe kind of tied her down yeah oh that's my worst nightmare

if I were a cabaret singer so the character of Mary and I think If I were a cabaret singer, so the character of Mary, and I think Mary historically was a cabaret star. Yes. Yeah, it doesn't work out. You marry this guy, he's president, and then you're like, I would go crazy. Yeah. It is a perfect Who Among Us. Yeah. I've talked

a lot to Michelle about this. Obama? Yeah. You know, because she really wanted to sing. Really? She's really been wanting to sing for a long time. What stopped her? Her bad voice?

You know, they released a picture of Michelle Obama the other day. She looked really high. High? Yeah, she looked like

she was having fun like at a resort or something. Well, look, you're going to get me in trouble with more than one

community tonight, okay the dc community you're not even gonna be able to go down and do it at the lincoln theater my tony bye bye i mean my tony gone gone thanks a lot reactions to the tony noms this year there's too many i actually should be one award. Yeah. For the whole show. For the whole show. Yeah. With how many nominations?

Just like two. Okay. It should be down to like two people. Oh, that's good. I love that. It makes it even more heartbreaking. It should be Hillary versus Trump. Yeah.

And. Oh God. Yeah. Trump would be a better actor, wouldn't he? I mean, Hillary can, depends on the show. Right. You're actually right better actor, wouldn't he? I mean, Hillary can, depends on the show.

Right. You're actually right. Well, Hillary can produce stuff. Trump could produce stuff, but Hillary couldn't do, you know, like Angels in America.

Whereas Trump could, Trump would be an amazing Roy Cohn. Trump would be an amazing Roy Cohn. I mean, he knew him. He knew him. That's his mentor. I think he'd be a good,

what's his name? Pryor. Pryor. Trump as Pryor. Yeah. Trump good, what's his name? Pryor. Pryor. Trump as Pryor. Trump as Harper. Trump dazzles as Pryor. Can't you see it? I can see it.

Because you can spell it out. Trump has never been better as Pryor. Dazzles. Oh my God. Just the word Trump over Angels in America. America is great again. That's where we're going. Yeah. That's what's going to happen. Make Angels in America? America is great again. That's where we're going. Yeah.

I mean, that's what's going to happen. Make Angels in America great again. Wow. Oh, my God. That's title of app. Title of app. Make Angels in America great again. Oh.

Trump dazzles as prior. Trump dazzles as prior. You have to say it in that voice, too. Now we're in hot water with the Kushner community. Okay. And the Mike Nichols community. That's okay. No, they would love it. Hey. And the Mike Nichols community. That's okay. No, they would love it. Hey, hey,

their checks are clearing. Yeah, that's absolutely true. You don't want to put butts in seats? Put Trump on Broadway. We're all scared to say it. Put Trump on Broadway if you want to save Broadway. We're going. Big ass around the boards. I'm saying boards I'm saying

I'm saying what are we so afraid of talent what are we so afraid of that we might like it yeah I think America's too afraid

I know of yeah 100% that's why we're in this mess that's why we're in this mess yeah if we just put him on Broadway this is

honestly not not an answer if I were to go to him right now and say, yeah, look, if you drop out 12 weeks,

Oh Mary, would you do that? No, not at all. I don't care who it would save. Yeah. I think that's really noble. This is my time.

It's my year. Of course it is. Yeah. No, I don't want you to give up thank you I do think we could recast some of your castmates

hey let's get them out of there put Trump in put Trump in yeah sorry Scully sorry Scully later

Trump would be a great Mary's teacher yeah cause honestly Trump would get the same reaction as James when he walks out just the audience James walks out

and the audience goes, oh. Fuck yeah. Sorry, can we cuss? I forget, is this ex-Christian? No, this is Judeo-Christian, but the whole religion is like... It's fake? How did you find

that out? It's about control. Okay. As I put my coffee all over myself. You know, I went to the museum the other day. I brought my mom to the Brooklyn Museum. Lovely. Congratulations, by the way. Thank you. I know you've been meaning to get there for years. Yeah. Very hard

to get it. Most empires last three, four hundred years. Yeah. We're due. We're done. You think so? It's curtains for me. You know what podcast I love? Yes. We're due. We're done. You think so? It's curtains for me. You know what podcast I love? Yes. The Kelsey Brothers. The Kelsey Brothers. Who are the

Kelsey Brothers? Travis and Jason Kelsey. And they have a podcast? And they're actually very charming. No, they're great. They actually... Oh wait, that's how I first heard I Don't Think So, Honey. Because they started it. And then you guys kind of... It's the first time gay people have taken from...

Straight. Straight football players. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This podcast called Fall of Civilizations. Oh. And every episode is... Wake up.

Wake up. Every episode is a new civil... Like, you know... You wanted them on. Now they're here. Now they're talking about the fall civilizations! And yeah, they're being didactic. Roman Britain.

Yeah. The fall of Roman Britain. The Bronze Age collapsed. When you say Roman Britain, as in when Britain was Roman? Yes. And how that fell apart. Yes, yes, yes. It's fascinating. It's really interesting stuff.

And I think people don't realize. But here's the thing about history. I get annoyed when people are like, we're doomed to repeat the mistakes. And I'm like, I think we're doomed no matter what, even if we do know the history. That's just how... Not me.

No, certainly not you. Not you. Well, congrats. Thank you. Can I tell this story, Cole? You can tell it, but you better be careful. I don't know what story you're talking about. I basically had a little mental breakdown over the summer.

Oh my God, that was hilarious. We were all laughing about it. Yeah, I remember. The group thread was just screaming. On fire. On fire. I go to Amsterdam. You were in Ghent at the time?

Yes. You were in Ghent at the time yes you were in Ghent at the time I was posting my close friends gonna be in Amsterdam you said maybe I'll come see you yeah I said I will pay

for a hotel room if you come and hang out with me and you were so kind to do that kind I was

in Ghent everyone's kind I was in Ghent yeah and then we had a lovely day together and we I was in Ghent. Everyone's kind. I was in Ghent. Yeah. And then we had a lovely day together and we were in the park. Yeah. Was it you or me?

We were just like, we should go see a play tonight. Yeah. I can't remember. God, I can't remember who it was. What did you guys go see? We're like, let's go see Les Mis. Yeah. And then we looked up tickets for that night, bought two tickets to Les Mis,

sat in the mezzanine, all in Dutch. In Dutch. The ugliest language ever. Not a gorgeous language. Bad, bad language. Bad tongue. And hilarious. Songs in Dutch?

No way. Oh, wow. That's generous. Thank you. Did any song survive the language? I mean, One Day More was pretty cool. Yeah. Of course.

What about those harmonies? The harmonies. One day more! Yeah. That's good. That was great. That was really good. That was too good.

Jean right here. Stop it. Trump, look out. Trump, look out. Hey, Trump, I'm coming for you. Hey, Donald Trump, I'm coming for you, baby. It was a lovely time. It was one of the worst days of my life.

Well, for me, it was nice. No, it was incredible. Thank you for being there for my sake. Watching Les Mis in Dutch. Yeah. It was like going to the opera. Yeah. You know?

Exactly. Now, did y'all sort of do a post-mortem after? What do you mean? We just couldn't. We were so moved. Yeah. Oh, we were very moved. All we could do was walk.

Yeah. Yeah. We just walked. It's a beautiful city for that type of thing. Oh, yeah. Be careful. Be very careful. Tread lightly.

You're right. I tread much lighter sorry I'm just reeling reeling from the subway from the airpods the airpods went down

there's gonna be no dick in my butt tonight I think there's still time there's still time I did think about getting like on the apps

and being like who yeah Samantha who Christina Applegate Christina Applegate who I share a birthday with so please be careful

that must be where all the talent gets born oh yeah me, Joe DiMaggio Christina Applegate that's pretty good that's a really good trio yeah day over

now what are the hopes and dreams for this time off you have before the previews start? I want to get back to me. Yeah. I believed that. I'm sorry. Thank you. Don't let this change you.

Well, no. I think what's happening is. What? Don't let this success change you. Yeah. Thank you. One thing that everyone's been talking about in the group thread that you're not in

is that you've changed. Thank you. And that you've become a big star. You went to the Met Gala. That actually happened. And if you think I'm not going to ask about it and who you sat next to, you didn't...

You weren't correct. I think they're just going to sip on that. You didn't... You weren't correct. You're just going to sip on that water? Well, I'm not going to forget the question and you're going to run out of water. At some point, you're going to have to come up for air, boo. Oh, not that. And you asked for them to come back.

Can we please... No. We don't have to talk about it. No, I was going to say, have to talk about it No I was gonna say You looked stunned Can we talk About The abuse

Mariah Carey Precious Oh you matched Every inflection Yeah Can we talk About The abuse

In your household I'm talking about What did you say Talking about Repeated instances I'm sort of making it up now But really Mariah

Was never better at acting than that moment. So grounded. Can I tell you something? No, please. Can I just throw it out there anyway? Watch Glitter again. It's not bad.

Of course not. I've never seen it. Do yourself a favor. I will. Watch a couple movies. You have a lot of time off? Yeah. So, you know what you gotta watch?

And this is, one's a real suggestion, one's not. Okay. Watch Glitter, lol, that's the bit. You really should watch The Idea of You. Both of you. Oh, I used to have the Anne Hathaway necklace. Yeah, I was mesmerized. I loved it.

And I cried at the end. That man is made out of milk. Well, Matt's theory is that he's AI. Now, do you like him any better now that you've seen this film? So, get this. I'm not convinced he's AI. Now, do you like him any better now that you've seen this film? So get this. I'm not convinced he's not AI at this point. But you don't mind. But I am a big fan.

And I think if Nick Galitzine is AI, then we need to just cut Fran loose and start doing the AI thing. Because if Nick Galitzine is AI, which is still my theory, then I think that's the future. Let him take our jobs. Yeah. And start doing the AI thing. Because if Nick Galitzine is AI, which is still my theory, then I think that's the future. Let him take our jobs. Yeah. We're not booking them anyway, sweetheart.

He's made out of milk. Explain. Go on. Look at him. Oh, yeah. Yeah. That makes sense. Imagine taking a bite out of his cheek.

Yummy. Actually, I think you could. Yeah. He is milk duddish. Yeah. And I say this in a very, like, horny way. I think he's very attractive. Yummy. Actually, I think you could. He is milk dud-ish. And I say this in a very horny way. I think he's very attractive.

I have a theory that people's assholes are the same color as their lips. I think you're wrong. I'm going to tell you you're wrong. Why you're so brown? Don't presume the hue. Don't presume the hue. Don't presume the hue. That's actually rollercoaster number eight. Don't presume The hue Don't presume the hue Don't presume the hue

That's actually Roller coaster number 8 Don't presume The hue No That's not the color Of my hole Let me see mine

No Wait No Wait Wait Wait hold on Okay That's gonna be the picture

Okay We all just took a picture Of our beautiful lips And I don't know You don't know. Your hole can't be that color. I can't see it. Yes, you can. Take a picture. Squat over your phone. You've never taken a picture of your booty hole? No.

Cole, please. Oh my god. You've seen it. I've not seen Cole's hole. I've seen a gorgeous shot on a close friend of Cole's amazing ass oh sure well I mean it's easy

it catches the light so perfectly it's hard to take a bad one give yourself some credit I'll give myself a little credit I don't think I made the close friends it's not the close friends it's another thing it's another secret third thing oh it's a finsta it's another thing. It's another thing. It's another secret third thing.

It's a finsta. I had a horny finsta. I guess I still do. Is it done? What? I don't really maintain mine. Me neither. I think I took six pictures during the horniest time of the pandemic. We have to

forgive ourselves for everything we did in 2020. Especially electing Joe Biden. Especially Biden. we have to forgive ourselves for everything we did in 2020 oh yeah especially electing Joe Biden especially Biden we should have given Trump another chance we're giving him a chance on stage you're right

now I think O'Mary would be the perfect show for him I think he would be so good as Mary in a way let's really actually dreamcast Trump in something. So you're saying, oh, Mary. Gypsy. Gypsy.

Heartbreaking. Heartbreaking. Haunting performance. Haunting. Why did I do it? No. Why did it get me? No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

No, no, no. I'm going to have to leave. No, don't go. Follow me in the background. This is not a no. I'm going to have to leave. No, don't go. Follow me in the background. This is not a good time. Who is that? Who is that? It's someone else.

It's an original character. It's an original character. Listen, there's a Patty. Ronald Dump. Ronald Dump. There's a Patty-sized hole, shaped hole in Broadway. Yeah.

And he could fill that out. Appeal to Patty now to return to Broadway. She is. She is. Oh, she is. She's called the roommate. Her and Mia Farrow at the Booth Theater. You're kidding. She was just being like dramatic about the quitting? You're kidding.

You're kidding. We love her. I love her to death. Oh wait, sorry. You think women aren't allowed to change their minds or wait, what's this? What I'm saying is what you said before you got on the episode which is that women are crazy hysterical

and can't make up their minds that's what you said how dare you I am gonna kill you I wish you would no airpods no dick why should I keep living yeah

great color for you by the way thank you That's no dick. Why should I keep living? Yeah. Yeah. Great color for you, by the way. Thank you. And they're popping. Thank you. And you did that on purpose, didn't you? I did. I did. You're a warm tone.

Well, this is the other thing that I wanted to talk about. Okay. Color theory. I really want to see one of those color theory people that like- Who put the things over. I know. Me too. I'm obsessed with them.

Me and Claudia O'Doherty. Yes. Love Claudia. Hi, sweetheart.. I'm obsessed with that. Me and Claudia O'Doherty. Yes. Love Claudia. Hi, sweetheart. Great legends. Go to bed. We really, sorry, people are probably like angry at my hoarse voice, but we really wanted to see, there's this woman in LA who does the color theory thing, who was

the wardrobe supervisor on The Nanny. She has many Emmys. She knows what she's doing. But then we looked and the prices were like Broadway prices. Literally, I can buy half a ticket to Oh Mary for that.

It was like $1,000 per session. Or oh it was like a thousand dollars per um session or maybe it was like there's i bet you there's someone who does that here right in new york city i know where you live did they design costumes for the nanny i mean i don't know what to tell have you ever had that done no i want to say but i was just watching an asmr video last night of course where they do it of course you were. I don't even think

I know what it is. You get off on that stuff? Yeah. He does. Splued all over. Ew. Splued all over himself. Matt's classically

olive tone, but I think that makes him neutral. So Matt, that means you can wear any color. This is the truth. I actually came here today

and I was going to wear a yellow shirt. I was going to actually follow up on the Taylor Tomlinson episode. Yes. Where I said that I bought a yellow shirt at a museum and I never wear it because why would I? I actually put it on today to wear it to this. It looked good.

Looked at myself and said, this is not my color. But you don't know if it's like, oh, it's the cool undertones. It's the blue undertones of the yellow that don't suit you. You probably do have a good yellow. You probably do. Can I say when I'm a little bit more tan, which is happening, it's in process, I can do yellow. But this was not, we are not there yet at this juncture. And then the step beyond that is like, are you a cool yellow or a warm yellow?

Right. And I would never know what this is. So I guess I have to do this sort of test. This is why it's dangerous to be like for us because we don't know what we're talking about

and so for us to just sort of posit all of these oh I'm yellow I'm blue I'm it's dangerous. You're so good with color.

Yeah. We've all seen The Apartment. Thank you. Not all. Well it was in the pages of Vogue. Oh. What was that?

Remember it was in a magazine? Apartment Therapy, I think you're thinking of, or The New York Post, or I don't remember. I really don't remember. You have a really good relationship with The Post. Yeah. I do, yeah. Well, they reviewed the show. Look, The Post has always been very good to me.

Yeah. What's your favorite review you've gotten? Probably the long one. Because they said everything. No stone left unturned. They went there, honey. They talked about the play, me. Yes.

Like everything that you can imagine. The play, me, everything. Yeah. Oh my God. I'm thinking about it right now. Do you feel like you can't wait to get back up there? I am excited for a break. Yeah, good.

That's healthy. That's so healthy. Thank you. I think health is important. That's one of the reasons I wanted to come on here. Because I don't... The play is doing fine. fine. We don't need the press. Okay. I want to talk about health because as queer people in the community, we're not healthy. We have a different relationship from our upbringings to health that invariably does affect circumstances

and basically like human rights. So true. Well, when one of us is sick, we're all sick. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God.

Oh my God. Should Oh My God be the title of ep? We've got a lot of great ep. I don't think so. I actually don of great ep. I don't think so. I actually don't think so. I don't think so either. But thank you. I mean, I think health is wealth at the end of the day.

Well, Bowen would know. Oh my God. We're back on this again. We're back on this. Since go. We're back on this again. We're back on this. Guys, I'm going through a tough time.

Are you? Let's talk about it. Let's go there. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. The Real Housewives of New York City are back for another bite of the Big Apple. Look who it is. Joined by elite new friends.

Rebecca Minkoff. Have you ever heard of her? But things could change in a New York Minute. She had this wild night and ended up getting pregnant by some other guy. What? You told her? Not today, Satan. Not today.

The Real Housewives of New York City. All new Tuesdays at 9 on Bravo or stream it on City TV+. I'm Julian Edelman. I'm Rob Gronkowski. Guess what, folks? We're teammates again. And we're going to welcome you guys all to Dudes on Dudes. I'm a dude, you're a dude, and Dudes on Dudes is our brand new show.

We're going to highlight players, peers, guys that we played against, legends from the past, and we're just gonna sit here and talk about them and we'll get into the types of dudes what kind of types of dudes are there girls we got studs wizards we got freaks or dudes dude we got dogs dog we'll break down their games we'll share some insider stories and determine what kind of dude each of these dudes are is randy moss a stud or a freak is tom Tom Brady a dog or a dude's dude? We're going to find out, Jules. New episodes drop every Thursday

during the NFL season. Listen to Dudes on Dudes on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, I'm Jay Shetty and I'm the host of On Purpose. My latest episode is with Jelly Roll.

This episode is one of the most honest and raw interviews I've ever had. We go deep into Jelly Roll's life story from being in and out of prison from the age of 13 to being one of

today's biggest artists. We talk about guilt, shame, body image and huge life transformations. I was a desperate, delusional dreamer and the desperate part

got me in a lot of trouble. I encourage delusional dreamers. Be a delusional dreamer. Just don't be a desperate, delusional dreamer, and the desperate part got me in a lot of trouble. I encourage delusional dreamers. Be a delusional dreamer. Just don't be a desperate, delusional dreamer. I just had such an anger. I was just so mad at life. Everything that wasn't right was everybody's fault but mine. I had such a victim mentality.

I took zero accountability for anything in my life. I was the kid that if you asked what happened, I immediately started with everything but me. It took years for me to break that like years of work listen to on purpose with jay shetty on the iheart radio app apple podcast or wherever you get your podcasts trust me you won't want to miss this one on thanksgiving day 1999 a five-year-old boy floated alone in the ocean. He had lost his mother trying to reach Florida from Cuba. He looked like a little angel. I mean, he looked so fresh.

And his name, Elian Gonzalez, will make headlines everywhere. Elian Gonzalez. Elian, Elian, Elian Gonzalez. Elian, Elian, Elian Gonzalez. At the heart of the story is a young boy and the question of who he belongs with. His father in Cuba. Mr. Gonzalez wanted to go home and he wanted to take his son with him. Or his relatives in Miami.

Imagine that your mother died trying to get you to freedom. At the heart of it all is still this painful family separation. Something that as a Cuban, I know all too well. Listen to Chess Peace, the Elian Gonzalez story, as part of the My Cultura podcast network, available on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. And we're back. Actually, it's probably what we'll put up for the break.

Before the break, Bowen was going to open up to us about what he's going through. I would love for them to just host this. Oh my god, please. That would be amazing. Everyone would be so much happy. What happened? Hillary Clinton, what happened?

By the way. What? Say what you want about Hillary. And I will. And you will. And I will. It's a great title for a book. Just in general.

What happens? The book can be about anything. It can be a cookbook. And it doesn't have, Hillary doesn't have to write it. It can be, anyone can write any book and call it what happened

and it would be great. No punctuation. What, before I want to hear about the pain you're going through, now you have to cast Hillary and Trump in a show together.

Oh! Night Mother. Night Mother? Night Mother's good. That's really good. Who's mother, though? I think mother is Trump. Yeah.

Oleana. Oleana. What's that one? Oh. I just know that it's a two-hander. A two-hander? Waiting for Godot. Waiting for Godot. Waiting for Godot would be not to watch with them. What about

Chocolat? The movie. What about Amelie the musical? Which I did a reading of, so be careful. With Pippa? No, then it was Rachel... Lee Cook. Lee Cook.

Because it was going to... We wanted to do like a sort of she's all that, Amelie sort of like, hey, what about this? Sister stories. Sister stories. We called them in the business.

Yeah, it's sort of like how, you know, Detroit is a sister city of like, I don't know, Paris. Minneapolis, Detroit, the twin cities. The twin cities. Sister cities do be random. Yeah. You're like Shanghai and Des Moines?

Yeah. Yeah, it's funny. I find it amusing. No one's laughing. What is New York City's sister city? Couldn't tell you. Couldn't tell you. At all.

Couldn't tell you. You know what I just... A lot of these cities wish they could be our sister. Well, you know what I just realized? No. The second city, I'm telling you,

the second city is called that because it's like known as like a second city. You didn't know that? No. And then I understood why there was also one in Toronto. Famously also a second city. Also a second city.

Sorry to everyone that lives there. I love Toronto. If I had to live in another city that wasn't New York, it would in Toronto. Famously also a second city. Also a second city. Sorry to everyone that lives there. I love Toronto. If I had to live in another city that wasn't New York, it would be Toronto. Really? Toronto. Toronto.

Very cute gays. All the second cities have cute gays. They do. Chicago and Toronto. Yep. I would say San Francisco. That's not a second city. It is.

If you're like consultants. I actually do. I'm looking for a consultant for what I don't want to say a bad word but one time a psychic told me that oh is this the psychic that scammed you

no the community is very upset this is a different one oh Matt who said that my my husband is wearing a suit well that could be anything your husband is wearing a suit it's the charlatan it's psychic it's made up it wearing a suit. Well, that could be anything. Your husband is wearing a suit.

It's the charlatan. It's psychic. It's made up. It's a suit. A hazmat suit. Oh. To get near that dirty hole. Hey.

Ew. What'd you eat last night? Chinese broccoli. Golly. Hey, that's my people. Chinese broccoli? Yeah. It's not actually Chinese, is it? That was very, very racist of you to say.

Even more racist than what you were saying right before you got on. You came in here and you were saying a whole load of racist stuff. Chinese broccoli? Is that what the bats were eating in the wet market? You said that. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I did say that. I did say that.

I was saying that while I was peeing to myself. Yeah. And I was... And Bowen was right there. And Bowen was right there. And I was saying that while I was peeing to myself. And I was... And I was being... What was that guy's name? Larry something? Hmm? Larry Craig. Oh no, don't cut this out at all.

I think enough time has passed and that guy, you know, his whole life was ruined. Did he die? I think he is dead at this point. Let's call bathroom cruising as a closeted man, Larry Craig. Larry Craig-ing. Let's call bathroom cruising as a closeted man. Larry Craig. Larry Craig. Have you ever hooked up in a bathroom?

Yes. Yes. Oh, and by the way, tell the story because I realized that I'm sorry about this. We were doing our episode with Dua Lipa and you were telling the story. I've told it many times. You have told it before, but I did redirect the conversation in an irresponsible, annoying, and very Matt Rogers-coded way, and so I want you to take the floor.

Tell us about how you had sex in Madrid airport bathroom. That's the story. Okay. Have you? No. I don't think I could. Hygienically. Get hard?

Yeah. I don't think I could do that in a bathroom. Yeah. Because of the smells or because of the awareness of other people's proximity? I think growing up gay Sorry Oh no

No go there This is good Go there I just We'll be right back I want what's best for everyone Hold on one second We're back

We're back Okay and you were crying? I'm I don't know what's best for everyone. Hold on one second. We're back. We're back. Okay. And you were crying? I don't know. I don't, I just don't think I could. No, sure. Ideal place for an encounter?

Um, probably, um, Country. I want a country. Okay. Time of day. I'm going to say Canada. I'm going to say Toronto. A hotel room in Toronto.

Okay. We're being stupid. We did not actually ask you to expand on Toronto. What do you love about it? What makes it an ideal place? It's not trying to be New York. Thank God. No.

This is my impression of Toronto. Hey, we're not New York. We've got a couple restaurants have fun let us know if you need anything bring your kids, don't actually don't please don't it's six of one

we've got a quote unquote beach they do? oh it's a lake can I tell you something? don't ever sleep on a lake. Oh, it's a lake beach. Yeah. Can I tell you something? Don't ever sleep. Oh, I love a lake beach. Don't ever sleep. Claudia, wake up!

There needs to be a gay lake. And there really is. There is. Yeah, there is. Where? Epcot. That's actually rule of culture number two. There is a gay lake at Epcot.

That is one of the gayest lakes but I'm saying there needs to be like lake house culture for gay people yeah the Germany pavilion at Epcot I'm so mad

the most relaxing place on earth the Germany pavilion at Epcot go there bring a beach chair have a sauerkraut and a fucking

pilsner and a pilsner honey that's where I'm going to be all June. For relaxation. You're working. Yeah, well, for Pride festivities, Epcot. Well, Trump's going on the first week of Broadway.

Yeah. Because Cole's still going to be in Epcot. Cole, we keep trying to get you to come to Disney with us. Well, you don't. Yes, we do. You never have. Well, would you do it? No. Yeah, I didn't think so. You don't. Yes, we do. You never have. Well, would you do it? No.

Yeah, I didn't think so. You don't like it. Being gay. Growing up. We'll be right back. Okay. We're back. You just hate it on principle.

That's not true. You can say. BDS. Wow. I don't like you two together. It's too much. I don't like you two together. It's too much. I know. I know.

It's too much. Yeah. Too much of what? Calm down. I agree. Yeah. No, I bet I would like it. No, no, no.

You don't have to say that. I think you would because I think you'd see the irony in the whole thing. John Early and I once went to Disneyland. Yeah. Well, that must have been fun. It wasn't. Why? But Splash Mountain was fun. And I wish, we both wish we would have just

like done it again and again. Well, you can't anymore because they've renamed it Princess Tati's Bayou Dip. But it's the same. You still splash. Very much the same but they've taken out everything that you love which was the racism

and you were saying that before you got on the mic and they've replaced it with Princess Tiana because that's how you correct the wrongs of the ills of the world.

Again, I said this when I was peeing to myself as a joke. And we were both Larry Craig-ing. And we were both Larry Craig-ing.

I was looking for sex with closeted men. Of course I was going to say that stuff. Yeah, of course. You were trying to attract people. Yes. Please. Please. Don't get it twisted.

I don't ever want to get it twisted. Can I say something? What? I can't think of anything more embarrassing than getting it twisted. A lot of other embarrassing things. Truly, but like, what's more embarrassing than getting it twisted. A lot of other embarrassing things. Truly, but like, what's more embarrassing than getting it twisted?

What do you... First of all, ouch. How do you feel? Just generally? A lot better now, honestly. Okay, good. I was not in a good mood earlier. And now I really am.

Okay. I'm very happy to see you both. Do you think you're gonna have S-E-X with someone else? Can I tell you something? No. I did you something? No. I did the thing. Sorry.

I did the thing. We'll be right back. I did the thing where I over scheduled myself on dates this week. So it's actually, I'm going to reveal, okay, that my guy canceled tonight because I'm going on three dates this week with three different men. Sorry, everyone. I'm actually trying to find a partner actively. I would like that for myself.

I recently discovered about myself that I would like to be in a relationship. That's great. I don't think you're ready for one though. I don't think I am either. No, you're just not ready for one. But being ready for it and wanting it is two different things.

That's true. Right. Yeah. Someday soon. What do you think it'll take? I think you two have to stop being friends. Yeah. Someday soon. What do you, yeah. What do you think it'll take? I think you two have to stop being friends. Yeah. Well, everyone's so intimidated by him.

True story. It just, like. I say, no, no, he's great. I lie. I go, no, no, he's great. He's easy. He's going to love you. Yeah.

And then I go. And then, old mother-in-law over here. Nothing's good enough for her son. The last two guys I've dated have been like, I'm nervous to meet Bowen. And I was like, don't be nervous. He's my best friend and the kind and the best person ever.

I was nervous to meet you. Yeah. When did you meet? 40 years ago. 40 years ago. Well, it obviously went well. Y'all did all of Europe together.

Yeah. That was ago. Well, it obviously went well. Y'all did all of Europe together? Yeah. Yeah, we did all of Europe. That was 84. 84. And Berlin was East and West. Oh my God. Yeah. And we didn't know which was which.

And so I was trying to buy jeans and they said, we don't sell those here. That was good. That was a hilarious misunderstanding. Yeah. Well, you were just saying before that you miss Germany the way it was. That's what you were saying. And you gave a specific year, too.

Cool. Oh, my God. We missed you. There goes my Tony. There goes my Tony. Oh, it's a fucking shoo-in. Thank you. Do you see me get actually genuine there for a second?

No. I said, we missed you. Yeah, we did miss you. Don't say that, though. I'm sorry. I'm embarrassed. Do you not like to say hi to people after the show? No, I love it.

I love it. Yes. Good. Okay. Because we didn't like go backstage or anything. Well, there's not a backstage at the Lortel. Oh, it's a theater moment. It's like you have to come into the...

Everyone clears out and the notables sort of stay behind. Yeah. Yeah. The friends. The friends. Can I reveal at this point that the opening night party

at the Lortel run, the off-Broadway run, was at Houston Hall, which is a pretty very straight venue. There were sports on the screen. There were sports on the screen and I thought that was kind of the perfect, perfect touch.

I didn't see it the same way as you. Oh, you were stressed out. You didn't like it. I thought, change the channel. Yeah. Totally, totally. No one listened to you when you said that? I didn't say it to anyone.

I just felt it. You thought it. But it's a big beer. That was your biggest mistake. That was your first and biggest mistake. You know what would be fun to play at a bar? Yeah. What?

QVC. I agree. Oh my God. Gay bars should be played. QVC. I 100% agree. Yeah. And that would drive business, which is what you care about.

Yeah. The economy. Absolutely. Jobs. Yeah. Bringing jobs back to America. All these companies. There's nothing more American than QVC. It's actually roller coaster number 98. Yeah. Eight. There's nothing more American than QVC.

It's actually roller coaster number 98. There's nothing more American than QVC. Because it's a conversation piece. You can talk about it. You don't have to pay attention. It's not like, oh, well, now Mamma Mia's on, so I guess I'm going to watch it, which is what I do. No, there is no through line to follow with qvc no no

actually in fact there is the absence of that completely which is why it's so great peek behind the curtain to when i shot i love that for you the people that had to play the uh on air people you just have to be always talking yeah you literally it was it's actually so funny when you watch because they end up saying some crazy things sometimes just words together in like a soup that truly are just like and look at this diamond pendant now i love this for graduations for funerals for you know and i and my mother had a pendant and i always remember my mother especially now today because janine is gonna turn around and you can see the pendant from the. It's like nonsense gobbledygook. It doesn't matter.

It doesn't matter. It's nothing, but it is everything. If you can watch it on mute and it still looks like things are happening, that is the mark of success for that, which I love. And it gives you moments like the planet moon. Oh, the planet moon.

Is the moon a planet? Tell me you know about the planet moon. Yeah, the planet moon, Liza. Also, you know what's really wild? Actually, they do watch second by second to see if the sales are going up and down. And it does correlate to how charming they're being. At any given time, there are a million plus people watching this channel. And gauging second by second whether they're buying something or not

to the point where like it actually corresponds with the i guess salesman flopping or not i love the economy you said that i love the economy yeah i love inflation yeah keeping up with those prices yeah keeping up with the price yeah we gotta keep up with those prices. Yeah, keeping up with the prices. Yeah, we got to keep up with those prices. Raise them a little bit and then give us something to aspire to, you know? Yeah. Was that the big conversation at the Met Gala? Can I get some water? No. No.

No. No. Don't bring them anything. You like your job? Is my lawyer here? No, your lawyer's not here. Who's your lawyer? You want to shout him out?

Yeah. Go ahead. Elizabeth. I bet she rocks. Elspeth. Elspeth. Elspeth. Have you seen all the commercials for that show Elspeth?

No, but I really want to watch the show. It's supposed to be good. Yeah. Yeah. I love. Kari Preston is a legend. Good wife. Oh, yeah.

I didn't watch The Good Fight. Me neither. I should. Christine's mad at you. She is. Have you met her? No. Christine Baranski we're talking about I should. Christine's mad at you. She is. Have you met her? No. Christine Baranski we're talking about.

No, she's mad at me. Right. Well, I think we can... Because of all that stuff you made up about me, what I said, like... I didn't make anything up, sweetheart. It's so funny that you try to come here on what is our show. Uh-huh. Because even though we made a joke about you hosting it, it's our show.

That's really interesting. Is it interesting? It's interesting. I-N-C-H-E-R-S-T-E-E-N. Got it. I think that Archie Punjabi is having a moment again. Thoughts?

Where? Under the bridge. We'll be right back. The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City are back. I love that. Oh my gosh. Welcome.

And last season's drama was just the tip of the iceberg. You're recording us? I am disgusted. Never in a million years after everything we've been through did I think that you would reach out to our sworn enemy. We were friends. How could you do this to me? I don't trust her.

The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City, Wednesdays at 9 on Bravo or stream it on City TV+. Hey, I'm Jay Shetty and I'm the host of On Purpose. My latest episode is with Jelly Roll. Bravo or stream it on City TV Plus. We talk about guilt, shame, body image, and huge life transformations. I was a desperate, delusional dreamer. And the desperate part got me in a lot of trouble. I encourage delusional dreamers. Be a delusional dreamer. Just don't be a desperate, delusional dreamer. I just had such an anger.

I was just so mad at life. Everything that wasn't right was everybody's fault but mine. I had such a victim mentality. I took zero accountability for anything in my life. I was the kid that if you asked what happened, I immediately started with everything but me. It took years for me to break that, like years of work. Listen to On Purpose with Jay Shetty on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Trust me, you won't want to miss this one. On Thanksgiving Day, 1999, a five-year-old boy floated alone in the ocean. He had lost his mother trying to reach Florida from Cuba.

He looked like a little angel. I mean, he looked so fresh. And his name, Elian Gonzalez, will make headlines everywhere. Elian Gonzalez. Elian Gonzalez. Elian. Elian. Elian Gonzalez. Elian. Elian. Elian. Elian. Elian. Elian Gonzalez.

At the heart of the story is a young boy and the question of who he belongs with. His father in Cuba. Mr. Gonzalez wanted to go home and he wanted to take his son with him. Or his relatives in Miami. Imagine that your mother died trying to get you to freedom. At the heart of it all is still this painful family separation.

Something that as a Cuban, I know all too well. Listen to Chess Peace, the Elian Gonzalez story, as part of the My Cultura podcast network, available on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Julian Edelman. I'm Rob Gronkowski. Guess what, folks? We're teammates again. And we're going to welcome you guys all to Dudes on Dudes. I'm a dude, you're a dude,

and Dudes on Dudes is our brand new show. We're going to highlight players, peers, guys that we played against, legends from the past, and we're just going to sit here and talk about them. And we'll get into the types of dudes. What kind of types of dudes are there, Gronk? We got studs, wizards. We got freaks. Or dudes dude.

We got dogs. Dogs. We'll break down their games. We'll share some insider stories and determine what kind of dude each of these dudes are. Is Randy Moss a stud or a freak? Is Tom Brady a dog or a dude's dude? We're gonna find out, Jules. New episodes drop every Thursday

during the NFL season. Listen to Dudes on Dudes on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. And we're back. Wait, what is she doing right now? Talk about Bjork Under the Bridge, though. I didn't go to Bjork Under the Bridge. Oh, you didn't. now wait talk about Bjork under the bridge though I didn't go to Bjork under the bridge

oh you didn't did you go to Bjork under the bridge no they were working did what did she do a concert she did it she did a concert slash set under the K bridge K bridge bridge to sort of insinuate that there'll be ketamine use under the bridge, which I find

to be... Now as an iconic sober person, what do you think of that? I'm disturbed. Yeah. Whoa, careful. The table is making noise. That's because Bowen is shaking. He's humping. He's like a dog. I don't think

gay people and drugs go together. I actually agree. I think let's just put a pause on it. Let's put a pause on it until I figure it out. What's going on? I need to get in there. No, I'm busy with my show right now.

If you and Trump swap places. Absolutely. Come fall. I just want to open it up. Open the community up and look at it. Cole, if I want to like, I just want to open it up, open the community up and like, look at it. Cole, if you were to put out like a missive to the community across the world and say, stop it with the drugs for like a month, people would do it. I don't think they would. I think they would. These gays love drugs so much.

I'm going to do it in October. Well then. I'm going to do it in October. Was there a favorite drug back in the day? Just weed. Yeah. Just baking. Just baking.

Waking up and baking. We call it wake and bake. And we were really fun wake and bake sucks it was awful it's really bad I'm sorry

if you're a wake and baker no I just feel bad it was awful it was like no of course no yeah it's a huge alarm bell

moment yeah once it becomes wake and bake that's when you have to stop and take uh huh a second to reassess and bake, that's when you have to stop and take a second to reassess. And I guess that's what we're saying to all the gay community who's really the biggest

problem within the gay community is marijuana. Marijuana use is out of control in the gay community. These gays are too stoned. Yeah, they M out. Have you noticed that Taylor Swift has started to talk about weed a lot in her music? Has she?

Yes. In her music? Say more. Like, the Tortured Poets Department is an album about a chaotic, manic relationship, and she references, like, always being, she was with someone that was always stoned, my friends smell like weed, et cetera, da, da, da. Oh, yes, yes. You know what I mean?

I hate that. I hate the word weed. What do you like to say? I don't know. I don't like pot at all. You know what I say? Reefer. I don't care what you think. Reefer, weed, pot, marijuana.

It's all pretty bad. I think reefer is funny because it's stupid. Green. Flower. Never flower. Yeah. 420. Never flower. Yeah. 420. Bowen. I don't know what that was.

Go to bed. I've never seen you do that. Go to bed. Your tongue fell out of your mouth. Bowen goes. I'm sexual. I'm sexual. You were a sexual bully.

That was me rimming the air. You're gooning. Do you know what? Eat ass. Every now and then. You know what? I stopped. Yeah You're gooning. Do you eat ass every now and then? You know what? I stopped. Yeah, good. Is that because you got sick?

I got, yeah, giardia. I had giardia for like six months. I was like, oh, I guess my stomach's just weird now. This is a great story. You'll want to put this in the book, okay? And it's coming up right after the break. We're back. Hi, I went to a dietician for my acid reflux

and they ran all these tests and they said here you need to poop in this jar and mail it in I said no questions absolutely I'll do that for you take my poop hey you take it and what they make you do is like put a bag, like a little, you tape basically a piece of paper onto your toilet seat.

Oh, yes, yes, yes. And you poop onto that paper and then they give you a little scooper to, I hope everyone at home is eating a nice big chocolate cake right now. And you scoop the poop and you put it into a little cup and you mail that in to, I think, the government. And what do you think they do with the cup? They lick it clean, mama. Again, I hope you're eating chocolate cake with your mama. And if you are eating chocolate cake right now, it's poop. It's poop. Is it poop? And, um... Is it poop? Is it poop?

Okay, so... Then they came out with Giardia. So, well, then I met with the dietician and she goes, um, have you been

camping recently? And I was like, no. I haven't been camping since I was 12. What kind of weird question is that? And she was like, no, I haven't been camping since I was 12. What, what kind of weird question is that? And she was like,

you have this parasite that is common with people who've maybe been camping, drinking contaminated water or from, and does she get there? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And then I was like,

Oh, and then, but so the. And then I was like, oh. So the process of confirming that you have Giardia in order to get the antibiotics is like mailing in your poop. And I'm like, I don't want to be mailing my poop. I'm leaving that behind. So no more acid in it? 2024, I'm not mailing my poop anymore. I said, new year, new me.

No poop. I am not going to that mailbox with a jar of poop. That's completely insane. Yeah. I've had it before and it hasn't stopped me. It was horrible and I got it on Fire Island and you saw me.

Yeah, it was bad. It was not good. Ew, you like watched him? Yeah. We shared a room. No, but I watched you get your ass kicked. Was I really? No, you did not.

Don't tell them that. They don't want to think about us like that. No, I was insinuating that you were watching him have like explosive diarrhea. Oh, I thought you were insinuating that you were watching him have like explosive diarrhea. Oh, I thought you were insinuating that I was watching him. Isn't that funny? Were we sharing the bed when I had to keep

getting up? Yes, we were. And we also shared the bed. The only, only, only time I've ever, and it was bad. Like we both had like growing up moments in that. The only time I've ever blacked out. Oh. From the 4th of July, where like they found my wallet on the boardwalk

and it was this whole like community effort to get. That was the only time you've ever blacked out? Good for you. Yeah. Really? I would say so. I didn't really ever black out in college or high school. Hmm.

You sound like you don't believe me. No, I'm trying to go through the Rolodex in my mind to think of times I've seen Bo and Yang sloppy. It was so scary because I've never had a black box in the memory of like, oh, I don't remember what happened. Well, we got you back the wallet. Got me back the wallet. And

thank God because a lot of fat credit cards. I hope everybody's listening to this because this goes back to what I was saying about health. Yeah. You were saying that right before we got on. Yeah. You were saying you hope COVID comes back. Yes.

Yeah. Stronger. Because like a gay. Yeah. It over promised. And under delivered. You think COVID under delivered? Compared to what?

Compared to what? Compared to what? Compared to what? That's a really good question. Season two of Veep? I mean, you gotta be specific. I know, I'm sorry. I guess compared to... Difficult people.

Okay. Are you... Yes. Yeah. Did you find something ever since... Matt, come on, screw up. You're right. I shouldn't even go there. Did you ever find something since Downton on, screw up. You're right. I shouldn't even go there.

Did you ever find something since Downton Abbey that you liked as much? Yes. What? Gilded Age. Coming up, I was always sort of like sidelined. Like I was sidelined. We're going to take a break and not come back.

We're back. We're back. The Waltons. I don't think I know that. Is that about. We're back. The Waltons. I don't think I know that. Is that about the Walton family? Yeah. No, no, no, no, no, no. They're a family named the Waltons.

It's not like the Walmart Waltons. Because you were saying before you came on that you love Walmart and the family that... I love their business model. Like, why is that controversial to say? They're doing very well. And they're funding O'Mary on Broadway. Why shouldn't I be proud of them? And yes, they're funding O'Mary on Broadway.

And I'm very proud of them. What they're doing is legal. 100% Yeah, they're cutting corners. They're underpaying. It's legal. If you have a problem with them They're underpaying. Like, it's legal. If you have a problem with them, take it up with your president, Joe Biden. The one you both wanted so bad.

We did. We wanted him so bad. We really did. Yeah. We really did it. I didn't even vote for him this time. I wrote in... But I will vote for him.

I wrote in... Judy Garland. Trump. I wrote in Ivanka. You wrote in I wrote in Judy Garland I wrote in Ivanka You wrote in Ivanka? Where is Ivanka? She'll be hitting trail Ivanka! If she came out she was like

I have been wanting to be on this podcast She's like I want to talk about health in the gay community I bet she does. Yeah. Jardia. My husband has Jardia. He can't get rid of it.

Jared. Jay Kush. We can't give him a cool name. No, that's not cool. Jay Kush? Even Kush, terrible weed name. Yeah. I don't like that. Ganja Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I don't like that. Ganja? What about Ganja? No. It's bad. We really haven't come up with something good. I think reefer is good. Molly is so reefer. You think reefer is good? I think reefer is funny. Who has reefer? I love it. Let's go smoke reefer. You love it.

Matt says it in a fun way smoke reefer let's smoke reefer I got Jared be saying it too not Kushner Jared Frieder Frieder

Jay Fried reefer I'm looking at you like I'm not sure like I'm a crazy guy like you're a crazy guy I um you love

what's it like kissing James every night gross why don't you tell us? Oh, stop. Wait, we share a leading man. We share a leading man. We share a romantic interest.

Romantic lead. I'm sorry. That was my brain. Not what it used to be. It's okay. I think it's getting sharper all the time. I think you're getting smarter every day and stronger. Yeah.

I gotta say, I love to read. I'm reading books again. We're taking a European trip and Bowen described the desire to read. And I thought that that sounded so boring.

Yeah. It's good for depression. It was so, it was really good for the bad moment that last summer. Mm-hmm. Was I, I was probably even boring you to death with it.

I was just like, I've been reading a lot. No. The thing is like you actually, and this is the scary part. You did not seem different at all. That is terrifying. It's because he was lying. Right. It's because it was all lying.

It was all a lie. It was for attention. No, the bad moment was like in london and i was like i have to go somewhere i can't be like i can't be here for i'm sorry i keep shaking the table and then by this by the time i was in another place and i was among friends or a friend it was like this is much better so you were lying or wait what are you saying yeah you were lying i i was lying by the time you got there is not is not real and you and you were saying that we'll be right sorry uh no we're back no you really

didn't seem that's terrifying that's terrifying do you talk to anyone no yeah yeah okay are you both in therapy like for real yes with each other each other. You know what I just started doing? What? EMDR? Uh-huh. Controversial. Is it controversial? Yeah, it's controversial. Well, I can't wait to hear everyone's opinion on it. Can I just say, what I really cannot wait for is for everyone in our beloved community to tell

me how I should be doing it. Well, no, but I didn't mean to undercut. What is controversial about it? It killed JonBenet. It was EMDR that did it. Yeah. Wait, why is it controversial?

I think it's just, I think it's a relatively new form of therapy. Oh, okay. It's like, there's a lot of debate around it. And it killed JonBenet. Wow. Someone had to.

Matt. Matt. Okay, it's a comedy Wow. Someone had to. Matt. Okay, we have to cut that out. Okay, it's a comedy podcast. Oh my God. Okay, then be funny. Shit. God. You said before you came on here, you killed her.

So what the fuck? Oh my God, and the burping. Remember that? And the burping. What? What was that from? The parents? No, no, no.

The guy that killed his wife. What's it called? That documentary. And? The parents? No, no, no. The guy that killed his wife. What's it called? That documentary. And then he was. Oh, oh, oh. The Jinx? The Jinx. No.

No, it's not the Jinx. The Jinx or was the murder in Boston? No, no, no. That guy that like he killed his wife. Uh-huh. And then he was like in a bathroom on a live mic going pee. And he's like, of course I killed him. Oh, the jinx.

Yeah, the jinx. Have you guys seen what Jennifer did? No. What's what Jennifer did? It's on Netflix. It's like truly the most. It hits hard because it hits close to home for me because it is this Asian girl who felt so pressured by her parents to succeed that she. Killed them?

Killed them. So that hit home for you? That's what you just said. On the mic. It wasn't like Cole who said all the nasty things. No. This is on mic I'm saying.

No. Not that I relate to her killing her wanting to kill her parents or killing her parents. It is this thing of like she must have felt like I

it's like y'all if things did not go a certain way like I would have been I would have killed my parents. No, I would have, like, been, like, in that, like, kind of, like, y'all. You're saying you get it. Yeah. You could have seen yourself going down.

No, not killing her parents, but. Oh, my God, this is so crazy. That's not what I'm saying. Everyone that watched the Mother's Day episode of SNL the other night that said, oh, look, Bowen's mom. That's not what I'm saying. So everyone that watched the Mother's Day episode that I sent out the other night that said, oh, look, Bowen's mom. That could have turned out really different. I'm saying, I'm like, my life turned out. It was so many things aligning.

And it was this. No, I think what you're saying is very cogent. I think this is good. I'm not saying I wanted to kill my parents. You're saying you understand the circumstances in which this is good. I'm not saying I wanted to kill my parents. You're saying you understand the circumstances in which this girl did. You're saying you identify with, sympathize with,

and trust her to be president. You want Trump on Broadway acting and this girl president. What Jennifer did was slay. She was like a compulsive. She lied about going to school because her parents were like, it was so crazy. She was like a compulsive, she like lied about like going to school because like her parents were like, like it was,

it was so crazy. I love liars. I do have to tell you, last night I watched the Lisa Rinna Lifetime movie, Mommy Meanest. You gotta get into it. It's good. It's based on a true story.

It's about a mother who terrorizes her daughter to like control her by texting her like horrible, vicious things from several burner phones. This is based on a true story. Lisa Rinna is just like, I don't understand what's happening. She's the mom.

She goes in her closet, sits down at her computer, and just types. These soap actresses are so good. The soaps really get people like Julianne Moore came from soaps. Meg Ryan came from so good. The soaps really get people, like Julianne Moore came from soaps. Meg Ryan came from soaps. Who else?

There's like a famous, oh, Margot Robbie was in Australian soaps. Neighbors. Yeah. Isn't that what it's called? Neighbors. And I believe Chris Hemsworth was also on that. And maybe even Kylie Minogue back in the day.

Kylie Minogue was definitely on a soap back in the day. Yes, that's right. Shout out to Kylie Minogue. Just saw her in Minogue was definitely on a soap bat yes that's right shout out to Kylie Minogue just saw her in Vegas that was a great show oh congrats by the way thank you I rolled my eyes

I rolled them right back okay yeah wait isn't Bethany Frankel in a Lifetime movie yes she is

and it's another thing where it's like I have a daughter and it's weird it's they really are pivoting to like it's me against my daughter. Yes.

A lot. And you know what was so bad about this movie was like, it literally just ends with Lisa Rinna. Spoiler alert. She just like gets caught. Yeah. And she doesn't even like change. She's just like, well, I did it because I want us to be close friends. Yeah.

And the daughter's like, you're a fucking crazy person. She goes to jail for two days, gets out, and then the daughter moves out. That's it. There's like no, there's no campy fight. There's no anything. I mean, it's Gypsy. It's Gypsy.

It's Trump and Gypsy. Yeah. I think we found it right off the bat. It is Trump and Gypsy. Why did I do it? Why don't I get me? Hey, butter boom. It's just kind of giving like, what's that bear?

Yogi. Yogi Bear. Yeah, yeah. It's kind of giving Yogi Bear. Brad Garrett. Yeah. Everybody loves Raymond. That's really good.

That's really good. Everybody loves Raymond. Yeah, that's really good. Why did I do it? Can you do Patty Heaton? Why do Kelsey Grammer and I get ostracized for being Republicans? Uh-huh. It's actually a really good question.

Why? Why? It's just their beliefs. It's just their beliefs. We'll be right back. I'm sorry. And we're back. We're back.

Well, would you host a talk show? Yes. Because I, I feel like Broadway is over. Well, it's over, but I feel like there is something.

You gotta be, you guys gotta be careful because this is my community now. You're right. You're right. Broadway is, I think for you, is this fair to say?

It's like the goal. It is. It was always the goal the secret dream in the back of my mind was always like that's so cool how do I get to Broadway this could not have happened everyone thinks I'm joking

oh fuck you I'm sorry, I didn't mean that ugly I remember you saying this to me and Celeste and Celeste and I were talking about it afterwards oh that's so cool like it's amazing I feel like I thought every gay person was always

just secretly like wanting to be on Broadway don't you think a little bit? have that dream not quite as much as you guys but I think yes I've like had like the flash of the fantasy and honey honey, you will. No, no, no, no, no, no.

For me, it's just like, I don't think that's like... Frost Nixon. Frost? The two of you. That actually would be good. I'm Nixon? I think so.

I think you have a better Nixon. I'm not a crook. Oh my God. Sly. Sly. Better than your Trump. Oh my God. Let me tell you something.

Who is that? I can't wait to get to Broadway. Who is that? I don't know. It's tell you something. Who is that? I can't wait to get to Broadway. Who is that? I don't know. It's sort of like Who is it? It's like you doing Fallon doing Trump. But it's like a cartoon villain. Like I can't It's not Jafar.

It's almost Jafar. To get back on track. It's very cool that you're doing Broadway and is the fantasy to stay there for the rest of your life. I would like to keep working on track. It's very cool that you're doing Broadway and is the fantasy to stay there for the rest of your life. I would like to keep working in theater. Why just 12 weeks? I work with a numerologist who,

she's very powerful, this woman. Her shoulders are so broad. You think it's because of the numerology? Yeah. She's got this kind of sexy kind of, ooh, like, yeah, she's got this sexy gait. She just walks real bow-legged.

Yeah. And I love her. And she said, 12. Yeah. She looked at me and she said, 12. Is it actually the goal for you? Like, because I saw you talking about this on Stradio Lab. Someone else would do it?

I would love for someone else to play Mary. Really? Yeah. And would you want some A-list person to drop in? I don't care. I would want them to be good and funny. My dream is Titus Burgess. Oh, my God.

In a way that almost would make me be like, wait, maybe you're too good. Don't, don't. It wouldn't be that. It would be different. That's what I was going to say.

But that would be good and like thrilling. But like, yeah, imagine. Yeah, totally. Yeah. Yeah.

And I can picture how Titus's wig would be different too. Like the stupid curls Have you had so many conversations with people where they cast it at you? No Really? No Do you want to start? Sure

I mean, frankly, you'd be great No Yeah No, I wouldn't But you don't think I'd be good? As Mary? Hey! No, I'm thinking I think you'd be good? As Mary? Say no more. Hey! No, I'm thinking.

I think you'd be a good Mary's teacher. Yeah. You have the skull. If I had to cast you in the show, it would be as... If I had to. If I had... Gun to my head.

Leading man. Gun to my head, I would just tell them to shoot. But... I would say, I can't cast Matt in this show. I would say, just shoot me. But,

don't actually feel bad for me. That makes it real, you monster. Don't be like, this is my friend, breaking down, crying, weeping. God damn it. You really are driving us apart. I really, I hate us together.

If Bowen's Mary, then I would want you to be Mary's teacher. But I can also see a world where you're Mary and you're Abe. I would love to. See, I think I'm better cast as Abe. You put all your little Asian guys as Abe, don't you?

Yeah, you were saying earlier before on mic that you fetishized them. Yeah. Yeah. I do. Not to put her, not because of Titus. I didn't, it's like such a, within that circle. But like, I think Krakowski. I was just going to say like, John Krakowski.

Yeah. I mean, oh my God, wouldn't Sedaris want to do it? Absolutely. Gosh. That'd be amazing. She would crush. But I would love to write plays, I would love to keep writing plays for other people to be in.

I mean, what's very cool is that I think it's like at this point you just get to do anything and everything. I don't know. Can we be earnest? The industry is really amazing. That's true earnest the industry is really amazing that's true

the industry is really amazing right now yeah everyone's really excited and everyone is happy earnestly yeah

no one deserves it more yeah nobody deserves it more fuck you no cause I'm not doing this you this is

you are not the host of this podcast it's my podcast and sometimes it gets earnest thanks I hate that word though earnest? yeah

deserve deserve oh sure cause we all deserve of course everyone deserves can I say something? no

I guess you are you are the sister you never had you are whatever You are... The sister you never had. You are... Whatever. You know you're our idol. Stop it.

I mean, it is perfect. It's also... I mean, watching the show... It's the best thing that's ever happened to me in my whole life. This show being produced. And I'm trying to soak up everything that's, that's happening right now. Cause I know soon my turn will be over and that's fine.

All our turn. We all get a turn and we get to the back of the line and we wait and we wait and we wait and then we get our turn. Well, you got to get fast pass. This is why you need to go to Epcot with us. Oh my God. You gays.

Cut every line. Yeah. Okay, fine. I'll go to Epcot. Honestly, I, one Honestly, one day. One day. The next time we're on one of our eight-day trips.

Here's why I wouldn't go. I don't want to be on a plane about it. It's a three-hour situation. I don't want to take a plane about it, you know? But I don't want to go to the airport, get on a plane, be at the airport, get my luggage, all for Epcot. Like if I was in wherever, where is it? Virginia? Orlando, Florida.

Exactly. And if I was in Orlando. They would love O'Mary down in Orlando, by the way. You think so? Of course. Yes. Liars, both of you. I smell it.

I smell it seeping out of your pores, the lies. The weed. The weed. The marijuana. The pot. You two pot smokers, I've had enough of you two pot smokers. I've had enough of us too, to be quite honest. But I would go to Epcot if I was in Orlando already.

All right, okay. So we just have to figure out a way to trap Cole. Get me in Orlando. In Orlando. Entrapment. Central Florida. have to figure out a way to trap Cole. Get me in Orlando. Entrapment. Central Florida. We can do it. What's that face for? I don't know. I don't know if I can do it. I don't know about

like really Florida in general. What a hell of a drug. But yeah, you do have to kind of go there to go to Disney World. so that's I guess where we're rubbing up it's just it's the plane correct it's the airports you don't like to fly?

I don't like it it's very scary because growing up gay I just like I never got to soar and to be that high like Like, I never got to soar. And to be that high, like, it's like, everything.

It reminds me of like what I didn't get growing up. And I'm sorry, I have to go poop really bad. We'll be right back. The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City are back. I love that. I love that. Oh my gosh. Welcome. And last season's drama was just the tip of the iceberg. You're recording

us? I am disgusted. Never in a million years after everything we've been through did I think that you would reach out to our sworn enemy. We were friends. How could you do this to me? I don't trust her. The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City, Wednesdays at 9 on Bravo or stream it on City TV+. On Thanksgiving Day, 1999, a five-year-old boy floated alone in the ocean. He had lost his mother trying to reach Florida from Cuba.

He looked like a little angel. I mean, he looked so fresh. And his name, Elian Gonzalez, will make headlines everywhere. Elian Gonzalez. Elian. Elian. Elian. Elian. Elian.

Elian Gonzalez. At the heart of the story is a young boy and the question of who he belongs with. His father in Cuba. Mr. Gonzalez wanted to go home and he wanted to take his son with him. Or his relatives in Miami. Imagine that your mother died trying to get you to freedom. At the heart of it all is still this painful family separation. Something that as a Cuban,

I know all too well. Listen to Chess Peace, the Elian Gonzalez story, as part of the My Cultura podcast network, available on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, I'm Jay Shetty

and I'm the host of On Purpose. My latest episode is with Jelly Roll. This episode is one of the most honest and raw interviews I've ever had. We go deep into Jelly Roll's life story from being in and out of prison from the age of 13 to being one of today's biggest artists. We talk about guilt, shame, body image,

and huge life transformations. I was a desperate, delusional dreamer, and the desperate part got me in a lot of I was a desperate delusional dreamer and the desperate part got me in a lot of trouble. I encourage delusional dreamers. Be a delusional dreamer. Just don't be a desperate delusional dreamer. I just had such an anger. I was just so mad at life. Everything that wasn't right was everybody's fault but mine. I had such a victim mentality. I took zero accountability for anything in my life. I was the kid that if you asked what happened, I immediately started with everything but me. It took years for me in my life. I was the kid that if you asked what happened, I immediately started with everything but me.

It took years for me to break that, like years of work. Listen to On Purpose with Jay Shetty on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Trust me, you won't want to miss this one. I'm Julian Edelman. I'm Rob Gronkowski. Guess what, folks? We're teammates again.

And we're going to welcome you guys all to Dudes on Dudes. I'm a dude. You're a dude. And Dudes on Dudes is our brand new show. We're going to highlight players, peers, guys that we played against, legends from the past. And we're just going to sit here and talk about them. And we'll get into the types of dudes.

What kind of types of dudes are there, Gronk? We got studs, wizards. We got freaks. Or dudes dudes. We got dogs. Dogs. We'll break down their games. We'll share some insider stories and determine what kind of dude each of these dudes are.

Is Randy Moss a stud or a freak? Is Tom Brady a dog or a dudes dude? We're going to find out, Jules. New episodes drop every Thursday during the NFL season. Listen to Dudes on Dudes on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.

Are you pooping a lot? I do poop a lot. That's good. You poop a lot? I'm a vegan mmm so all of this really supports the idea

that I've had which is that Cole not to actually earnestly get on health but I find you to be very healthy thank you for saying that

overall it's one of my main initiatives going to Broadway make Broadway healthy again bring healthy back bring health back to Broadway people think oh capitalism's ruining theater because ticket prices to broadway make broadway healthy again bring healthy back bring health back to broadway

people think oh capitalism's ruining theater because ticket prices are right i think we eat right we get the good eight hours of sleep we need yeah finances will catch up do you sleep well because you eat well i don't sleep well you don't sleep well I stay up every night till 5am seriously yeah no matter what what time do you get up if I'm on my own I'll wake up at

like if I have nowhere to be nothing yeah 3 really so you're nocturnal nocturnal

always have been does that bother you that you don't see the morning alright yes what do we do I don't see the morning? Yes. What do we do? I don't know. Birding. Birding?

Birding. Like when poop comes out? This has been a thing. This has been a thing with phones. Oh, you want to like go look at birds? I've thought about that because I need a hobby. It's actually... Do you bird? I've started to. Do you have an app? I have an app. Merlin is the one that the Cornell

Institute of Ornithology or whatever like they have a department oh they're really problematic actually well because you're the president you were saying

before you got on yeah and it's been your mission yeah to problematize to kill the birds oh my kill the birds

tuppence that's very well I mean it's interesting because that's that feeds into my I don't think so kill the birds tuppence Barry? well I mean it's interesting because that's that feeds into my I don't think so

you sang that song at Queers Live I did oh that was so fun it means a lot to me should we do it again we should do it again

it means a lot to me that you came to the show thank you it really means a lot what if we did Queers Live at like Radio City Music Hall yeah let's do it let's do it tomorrow actually we did Queers Live at like Radio City Music Hall? Yeah, let's do it. Let's do it. Tomorrow? Actually, we were

offered a show at this other thing. Maybe we should do Queers Live. Maybe we should do that. That's fun. That could be really fun. In Orlando? In Orlando. And then that's when we get ya! Yeah. If you can get me to Orlando for a gig, I'll go to Epcot with you. Okay. But really quickly, I've gone birding for just like

curiosity. So much fun. Where do you go? The parks? Prospect Park, Vale of Kashmir. So literally like historic cruising spot, but it is the best spot for birding. It's so funny. Sure.

Yeah, my husband said that too. Peckers about. Oh, honey, I was just looking for a bird. Next thing I know, I've got Jardia. This character is a caricature. Yeah. It's so fun.

Get a nice pair of binoculars and then you go in the mornings and it's all these old... How much were they? How much were they? The binoculars. Go ahead.

I actually bought a mid... They were in the way of a phone you bought them. No, no, no. I bought a mid price. I mean, they do go crazy. I bought like 80 bucks. Oh my God.

They were only $300. They're expensive. Yeah. I bought one for 80 bucks and then... But They're only $300. They're expensive. Yeah. I bought one for 80 bucks and then, but then you go there, it's all these old women, but the activity itself is free

and the old women there are- Old compared to- Okay, all right, all right. You gotta be careful with these words. Boomer. How about that? Generational.

You can't, okay. Are they stupid is what I'm saying. In a group. Well, it seems like there's a lot of walks. There's like a queer birding group and there's like,

you know, like whatever, like different- Queer birding group like a queer birding group and there's like you know like whatever like different queer birding group queer birding group it's already redundant redundant but and then there's like

all these like guys with cameras but it's like nice it's like you get all types and it's free and then cameras guys ugh god

that makes me so horny I love guys with cameras I love oh my god to be lensed and it's it's just four different people telling you like

there's a scarlet tanager today. Oh like they're like pointing it out to you. Or it's like they're politely being like do you see there's a there's a nuthatch today. It's so sweet. It's very sweet and you go I heard I heard. Leave me alone. Leave me alone. No no no it's not even that and then I'm sorry looking at

a bird up close in the binoculars in 3D space as the light's hitting it, it is like incredible. And it sounds more healthy than like gambling. Totally. But it feeds the same impulse. It feeds the same impulse. It's like, I want to win.

I want to catch the thing. And it's like, all you're doing is looking at a bird. You're looking at a bird and then you think, who's that going to hurt? Exactly. It's really nice. If they want their privacy. It's one of those things, it's one of those hobbies

where I'm like, why the fuck do people get into this? And then you do it once and you're like, oh, I get it. Promise. And it seems like it would be something fun

to add to traveling. Like if you're traveling and you're like, ooh, I'm going to see what kind of birds they have here. A big yellow. A big yellow. Oh, the big yellow.

Oh, I went to Canada and I saw all the big yellow. I'm genuinely excited to do that when I go. This would loop back around to activity I can't do because of colorblindness. No, I'm colorblind as well.

You actually are? I am. It doesn't matter. I can't tell the difference between green and brown a lot of the time. Neither can I. Yeah. It's because you're red-green colorblind, right? Same.

So when I was a kid, I would color the tree. Sorry. Okay. I would color the trunks of the trees green. Yeah. And the leaves brown. And I would get points knocked off. Yeah. Minus two.

And there were only a few points. And there's only, yeah, like ten points. My sister, I used to think she had green hair all my life. Because she had brown hair and it looked green to me. I thought peanut butter was green. I probably still do, to be honest. Blue and purple, impossible.

Same. Sometimes weird ones like orange and green. Have you ever worn those glasses? Yes, to be honest. Yeah. Blue and purple. Me too. Impossible. Same. Forget it. Sometimes weird ones like orange and green. Have you ever worn those glasses? Yes, but they're a scam. Oh. Don't you think? Oh, really?

I've never tried them. Oh, they're a scam. I was going to say like, oh, that would have been a fun thing for us to do today. But they're a scam. Honestly, we did a Secret Santa and my one friend got me those glasses and it ended up being like, I put them on and I'm like, well if this is what everyone sees normally it's hell. Yeah. And

I just thought, because you know those red glasses? Right. I just saw like red. Like I didn't see anything. No. New. I wonder if they bought the cheap ones or something. I mean certainly. Who is this friend? Name them. Chris Schleicher.

Chris Schleicher. Oh, Chris, you cheap bastard. Totally. But also... He got me like a set, though, at the same time. It wasn't the only gift. He got me like a shirt. What is it? So you're a spoiled little...

Your daddy's spoiled little brat. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. Yes. Always have been, always will be. Yeah. Never will change. Never will grow. I love a brat.

I love a brat. It's so fun. Mary. I love a brat. I love a brat. It's so fun. Mary's kind of a brat. I love, yeah. Total brat. Total brat. Total brat. Bratty girl.

Bratty girl. I'm a brat. I know that about you. Yeah. They demanded a very nice hotel room. Did they? In Amsterdam, and I gave it. Yeah.

The Sofitel? Sofitel. Sofitel. Did we get breakfast the next dayel Sofitel did we get breakfast the next day? no we did we did yeah

great breakfast I love breakfast there I think maybe my favorite city that I've been to is breakfast is breakfast Amsterdam breakfast is great

Amsterdam London's great keep naming cities well I like I forgot the rest I loved Bruges actually, I like, I forgot the rest. I love the Bruges, actually.

I like California. Oh my God, this is going so south. I love Atlantic Ocean. It's time for I Don't Think So, Honey. Just before, our friend really

embarrasses themselves. Oh, I'm in a cave. I'm doing a thing with a cup. Golly. I'm in a cave. It's a visual medium. You look silly.

We got cameras since you've last been on now this is I don't think so honey one thing hasn't changed one thing hasn't changed we still do this

god damn segment okay I don't think so honey we rant and rave against something in pop culture that's not so great to us no

and I had an experience this weekend and I would like to talk about it okay tough couple days for my girl. This is Matt Rogers. I don't think so honey,

his time starts now. I don't think so honey if you show up to a theme party and you don't have anything on that's the theme. Maybe they're coming from work. And it's, no. Did I tell you something?

Stop it. Okay. Because I haven't even been in, I hadn't even been doing that for 10 seconds and you sided with all of them. And that says a lot about what's going to happen going forward. You're going to side with them outside of this dynamic. And I

agree with Cole. I'm sick of us. Because if you're going to keep doing this, I'm seconds into my I Don't Think So. I'm doing a really good one that no one's ever talked about before, which is that as a theme party, people should dress the theme. And you undermine me. Just sit there and count down how

much time i have left during my time how about that i'm sick of you at a theme party let's say the theme is new year's eve i want to see a couple hats and glasses please for christ's sake because i show up if you do that again then we're gonna to have a huge problem. Five seconds. This podcast is over. I agree. I don't think so, honey. That's one minute. Now, wait, hold on. Was the theme New Year's Eve? Because that's fun if it's not.

It was Tom Nye's birthday party held at the house of Tom Nye and Matt Whitaker, and they had a New Year's Eve themed 30th birthday for Thomas. And I show up, and I don't know if everyone is too cool but no one was doing the theme and I looked silly in a white jacket, fun glasses, and a vest. And I'm the only one dressed

for the theme and then I get looked at once over by everyone and I'm like it's the theme. See if it's a party and gay guys are there and they once over you... Give me a break. Get out. Stop it. It's like, I'm dressed perfect

and y'all just look like you put a flannel on and rolled out of bed. You're on your way to Animal afterwards. I get it. They're ordinary. Everyone wants to look their best for Animal. The sip and twirl of Brooklyn. I want to apologize to you.

That would be appropriate, I think. I'm really sorry. If you were offended. You almost had me there. Girl. Almost had me thinking. I'm really sorry for interrupting you. I didn't mean to do that.

No, that's okay. You were right. I don't mean to bring up past, you know. What? Oh my God. Did I interrupt you? That's just what the viewers love. Equivalent injustices.

No, 100%. You know. What happens is, Cole. What? Sometimes I get over-caffeinated for the podcast and I get excited. Yeah. And especially when we have a guest that I'm really excited to talk to and really like into. Yeah.

I will often do the most to say the least. But can I tell you, I don't mind. And people seem to think that I have a problem with you like kind of like getting over enthusiastic. And it's like, that's what I love. And I really don't care. Yeah. It's called a podcast, bitch. When they go for Bowen, I'm like, why are you infantilizing Bowen?

Like, I'm just like, like. I'm a child. To them, it seems like infantilizing Bowen like I'm just like I'm a child to them it seems like it's like Bowen Yang if Bowen Yang ever thought that I was out of pocket I have heard it and I would hear it

and I would think that that's something we share Bowen loves diapers wearing diapers we were talking about this yesterday me, Josh Sharp Max Wittert at a party

and we were saying that people we just want to try one day where we're in adult diapers. Just to see what it's like. Because the models on adult diapers are just, the way they cast models for adult diapers is so amazing. Because it is these people. Well, I've been in those rooms. Oh, yeah. Well, and you never booked.

Right. But it's people who, and this is why you didn't book. It's because it's people who look happy, healthy. And now you look better. But back then, you probably looked really gaunt. I was drinking and trying to get work as a diaper model. And that was my low. That was my rock bottom.

I was hungover, you know, lost my phone, lost my wallet. I would show up to these castings, put on that diaper. It's, you know, me and Geena Davis up for the same spot. That's tough. And she's, you know, the picture of health. Yeah. The picture of health. Academy Award winner.

Academy Award winner. Going to be very believable on the diaper. Absolutely. Yeah. It's just Thelma. Yeah. But then, of course, neither of us got it because that's how this fucked up industry I'm sorry I gotta say it

well I have to tell you something she booked it they just they replaced her with the coke bear they put the coke bear over her the cocaine bear?

yeah yes from Elizabeth Banks' movie but can I tell you something? what? now with this play world's your oyster it really is.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Wait, you really, but you want to wear, like, would you wear the diaper, like, in life, like, under your pants?

In life. Like, just walk around? Just to walk around. Would you pee-pee? Yeah. Yeah, for sure. If you're going to wear it, use it.

You might as well use it. I don't know if I would poop, though. I think I would pee all over myself, but I don't know if I would poop though I think I would pee all over myself but I don't know if I'd poop on myself but we just wanna try one night at the club listeners are gonna hate

this episode it's so much poop I just tell I'm telling you guys right now I have to say you brought it up it would be right in line

with how they felt about our other episodes recently so that's actually okay alright I have something yeah Ivan I don't. So that's actually okay. All right. I think I have something. Yeah. I haven't,

I don't think so. Oh, that's great. And this is, oh, not three missed calls. Oh, Oh God.

That's like always a little disconcerting. You know what I mean? I can wait. Okay. Well, uh, where are they from? I'll never know because it's like random numbers.

It always gives me a little bit of anxiety. No, no, no. Okay. This is Bo and Yang's. I don't think so, honey. And it's time starts now. I always gives me a little bit of anxiety. No, no, no. Okay, this is Bo and Yang's. I don't think so, honey. And it's time starts now.

I don't think so, honey. Pills. You want me to put what? Where? In my mouth? Here's what my mouth is for. Smiling. Saying a nice compliment to a friend.

You look amazing today, both of you. How are you going to get better when you get sick? Sucking. Fucking. Rucking. Fucking. Rimming. No. Not for swallowing a little rock that might not make me better. It might actually make me feel worse.

This mouth is exit only. That's right. Nothing goes in. If I have my druthers, if my perfect day is if nothing goes into my mouth. If only stuff comes out like a funny joke, a word. 15 seconds. Vomit.

I'll say it. Just kidding. I need to eat. But pills make everything a vaccine. Or actually, I would love a microchip in me if you could just download a cure to the brain. That's one minute. That was a mess. That was perfect.

That was a mess. Well, it seems like that was polarizing. Let me tell you something. I'm going to get emotional. Go there. If you get sick, you better take pills. Because I know it's been very tense between us today. But if anything ever happened to you, I would not be able to continue on.

And I'm not going to let Cole get between us. You really have Drifted Wedge. By the way, we now know Bowen Yang eats with his butthole and vomits with his mouth. Oh, yeah. I'm trying tonight.

Desperately out here. Okay. Okay. I like this dance. Okay. Worming. Now it's the anus. Let. I like this dance. Okay. Worming. Woo. Now it's the anus.

Let's warm up our bodies. That feels good actually. Relax. Roll our shoulders back. Do you do little warmups before every show? I do. That's good.

Conrad really has taught me a lot about That's a pro. He's a pro about like protecting and yeah. He's not even like

actively teaching me. I'm just like watching him going like this is cool here's how you do cat cow that was so mean that was so mean Matt yeah I'm racist that's a Tagalog thing yikes you better cut that you better cut that

can I say in a real way yes what happened with realized love at the Tonys? Truly. Thank you. Thank you. Isn't that weird? Thank you. It was so good.

I guess an overcrowded season. Was it though? Or just like a lot of shows? I don't know. It was such a beloved show. It was so good. It was so original. And then I was like,

when I saw that it got almost nothing, I was like, oh, maybe it wasn't eligible. Maybe it was last year and then it was like when I saw that it got almost nothing I was like oh maybe it wasn't eligible maybe it was last year and then it was fully eligible it was eligible but you know

it's like summer movies how they're like less likely to get nominated for Oscars people didn't remember it yeah I guess or I don't know

that's the only explanation I can think of yeah yeah yeah like it just was like totally blanked across the board pretty much I was like that's so surprising.

Yeah. So this is actually going to be Cool as Skolas. And they said that it has to do with Feed the Birds, Tup and Sabacc. Yeah. Something along those lines. Another Mary. Yeah. Very interesting.

Well, this is Cool as Skolas, I Don't Think So, Honey. And their time starts now. I Don't Think So, Honey. The scene in Mary Poppins where they go to the bank. The movie is six hours long. It is. That scene comes in at hour five. Right.

Takes up another hour. They get a song. The men get a song. And I understand the point of that scene is to be boring to show like, oh they need Mary Poppins, this is boring 30 seconds you know what, thematically have that scene have no music you know, it's Mary

brings the music in, and for that matter no music before she comes in either okay, you know except for maybe the children dancing to show that they want music, you know because when was the last time you watched Mary Poppins? You know? Except for maybe the children to show that they want music. Yeah. Because when was the last time

you watched Mary Poppins? I watched The Returns. No, but this isn't... No, it's been a while. You haven't watched it because you're scared of that bank scene. That's what I'm saying.

And that's one minute. You're so right. And can I tell you something? Yeah. The whole arc of Mary Poppins, that movie, is like, not to bring drugs in again,

it is like, it's all a come down after they go to cartoons. Yes. Super, super, super, super, super,

super, super, super, super, super, super, super, super,

super, super, super, super, super, super, super, super,

super, super, super, super, super, super, super, super,

super, super, super, super, super, super, super, super,

super, super, super, super, super, super, super, super,

super, super, super, super, super, super, super, super,

super, super, super, super, super, super, super, super,

super, super, super, super, super, super, super, super,

super, super, super, super, super, super, super, super, super, super, super, super, super, super, super, super, super, super, super, super, super, super, super, super, super, super, super, super, in so high. And you're like shaking and you have those shakes. And you get the, and you're like your teeth hurt and you're like, oh my god why did I smoke all that pot? She's a drug addict. Why did I wake and bake? Why did I wake and bake and fly in? She was like, so fucking stupid and Mary Poppins is

so fucking dumb. Racist. You were saying before, just like every woman. You said that before. Mary Poppins is so saying before just like every woman you said that before Mary Poppins is so dumb just like every crazy hysterical woman now I'm so mad

Julie Andrews drag her Julie Andrews can fuck can fuck I bet you know what's crazy what

is she has fucked yes and you know you think about Julie Andrews and you don't fuck. I bet, you know what's crazy? What? She has fucked. Yes. And you know, you think about Julie Andrews and you don't think about fucking, but then not everyone has seen Victor Vittoria. Her whole career after Sound of Music was, I need to like, let go of this girl. I think she made a movie with Blake Edwards where she was like, topless. She made several movies with him. Right after.

And there's a lot of subtext in Princess Diaries about how she's a nymphomaniac. I don't think so honey can i coin a phrase i don't think so honey that was the kelsey well now now it's done now it's done now and now i just feel silly about the whole i don't think something though yeah i think today this podcast and you guys are back. Thank you so much. A lot of people are going to say that. We've had a fallow period. I'm not even kidding. A lot of people are going to say they're back. You guys are back. And I want you to be friends.

Earlier, I wanted you guys to not be friends. Can I tell you something? There's nothing you could have said that would have come between us. Really? That really made me scared. Really? Really? What do you know?

Well, should I? Don't. Yeah. Don't. That's the dichotomy, Bowen. Don't. Me. Yeah.

Did I? No. No, I really just, I was worried and now I'm not. Thank you. You're welcome. I hope this episode inspired confidence. And I hope it inspired. Period.

And I hope it inspires. Go see what? Wicked? Oh Mary. Go see Wicked the movie. And Oh Mary on Broadway. How do you think Wicked the movie is going to be? Pretend he's not here. Oh, I can't wait. And I've never seen it on stage.

You've never seen it on stage? I think he would like it on stage. I know I would. I know I would. You gotta go. You gotta go. It's that thing where I forget that you can just go. Oh, yeah, yeah.

You absolutely can just go. In fact, I'm like, I don't have tickets. I'm like, oh, you get tickets. You get tickets. I was going to say you should go tonight, but it's Monday and famously they're dark. It's always dark. Except O'Mary will not be dark on Mondays in the summer. Wow.

Perfect. Perfect. So then when are you dark then? Sundays. You did tell me this. Yeah. That's so genius. Is that strategy?

No, Conrad's like very, very, very, very religious. I'm kidding. I was like trying to search my mind to remember if that was true no way it's deeply not deeply not he's such a heathen

oh yeah he really is a heathen he believes in like upending all social norms yeah chaos yeah

this is a Judeo-Christian podcast by the way so we have to sort of float away from that yeah you did inspire me to go see

Hello Dollar League by myself wait where? because when Bernadette was on oh yeah yeah yeah I think you and I

had a conversation I was like I gotta go I never went I couldn't afford it at the time it was like I could not get tickets

and couldn't afford it and I feel so fucking crazy that I didn't go see that I feel that way about Patty and Gypsy yeah I couldn't afford tickets at the time. You know what's weird? I saw a

matinee of it and at the time I was like she was marking and I felt crazy thinking that but like I think she was. Laura Benanti crush. I can't imagine doing that eight times. See and that's why I don't go to

matinees and it's no shade and't go to matinees. And it's no shade, and I'm sure everyone does. But I also think that the performers know what I'm talking about. You know what I mean? Like, you're not giving out a Wednesday matinee. When I see a play, I see it on a Thursday night. Oh, great. Why do you think Thursday night is the best? I am always like,

oh, weekends, that's too many shows. They might be tired. Tuesday, they're just coming back. Yeah. Wednesday, sometimes they have a matinee and then they have an evening show. Thursday's perfect. So Thursday is right before that weekend show.

They've had enough time to, you know. But now, having done several weeks off Broadway. When do you feel strongest? It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. It really doesn't matter. Like some days I'm like, oh my God, that Sunday matinee was amazing. days i'm like oh friday night it really is like so then

that's how patty was i i mean listen yeah it's patty i i don't need to be convinced at all like i was just like oh i think because i was with my family i think and at the time like always but we were being sort of like you know cognizant about how much we were spending on it they were like oh let's go to a Wednesday matinee

or whatever it was and I remember leaving being like oh I wish that that could have lived up to what my little gay brain made it

which was absolute roaring performance of a lifetime at all times it could have been the audience too it absolutely could have how do we love you

one of the best how do we love you we want you to live we want. Hattie, we love you. We want you to live. Corky, we love you. We want you to live. A line that we quote all the time from Waiting for Catherine. Corky, we love you. We want you to live. It's so funny. Catherine O'Hara would be a great Mary. Oh my god! Oh my god!

So would Parker. So would Parker. Oh my god. would Parker So would Parker Oh my god I mean But she's off doing White Lotus right now No she's not Oh

She was fired Today Oh my gosh Chaotic behavior Oh no Personal differences You're kidding Guys I'm kidding

Okay April Fool's. You know what I love to say? What? You're kidding. You're kidding. You're kidding. Oh my God, you're kidding. You can do it so many different ways.

No. I'm auditioning for you because I really want you to want to cast me in the show. You want me to cast... You want me to want you as Mary. No, that's not what I said. No, I don't want that. And I don't think I'm right for it. No, yes, you are. I think, yes, you are. No, that's not what I said. No, I don't want that. And? I don't think I'm right for it.

No, yes, you are. I think, yes, you are. Yes, you are. And the right casting is me as Abe and Mary's husband. No. Not gonna say it.

Cool. Whenever I get auditions, I'm always thinking like, oh, Gideon Glick should get this. Oh, Matt Rogers should get this. I feel that way

all the time. Yeah, but actually less as of late. As of late, I'm kind of like, hey, I'm in my bag. Like, I actually have a big audition this week, and I actually think, no, I don't think there's anyone that could do it like me. Wait, but I don't think you will get that one.

No, it's too soon. It's too soon. Yeah, you're right. You're not ready. It's too soon. It's too big an opportunity. I only too soon. Yeah, you're right. You're not ready. It's too soon. It's too big an opportunity. I only just started. Yeah.

Well, listen. No, you have to kiss a lot of frogs before you kiss. You sure do, queen. You sure do, queen. We are three neophytes here. Am I too mean? No. No.

Okay, okay. You're not mean enough. I love being mean. This is Broadway, baby. Broadway. You watch your back or you wash your mouth? You know what? I'm actually at work.

I'm upset for you. Why? Well, actually, no, I'm not because you're going to have Sundays off. Yeah. This is a real thing. You have to go see The Sunset Boulevard with Nicole Scherzinger. Wait, is that coming here? Yes.

Oh, my God. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Sundays. I'm telling you, I went in the West End. It was so great. She is perfect in it.

The concept that they went for, Jamie Lloyd, really good. It's an all-queer cast, right? I wish that were so. Right? Just because they were gorge. It's all-queer cast, right? You're kidding. It's Queer's Live.

It's Queer's Live, right? Are you making... You're kidding. It's Queers Live. It's Queers Live, right? It's all queer. That's what I was talking about. It's like a fully like queer crew. Everyone on the team is queer. Is AMAB. AMAB. What's that?

Assigned male of birth. Bowen is the face of AMAB. I'm the face of AMAB. Wait. But something I do want to say is I need everyone to buy tickets to Bernadette Peters on Fire Island. Wait, oh, is that happening?

That's happening. I need everyone to buy tickets so that they add a Sunday show. It's on a Saturday. But I think maybe it already is sold out. It's on a Saturday in June or July. But that's what they did for Patty last year. They sold out so quickly

that they decided to send a show. I'm like, maybe Bernadette wouldn't want to add a second show, but I would, I'm dying to see her. Look to the camera. Make your plea. Mom. Dad. Add a day. Add a day.

Add a day. Add a day of Bernadette Peters on Fire Island. Growing up. I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry yeah that would be amazing

yeah I mean we saw Patty I saw her twice I saw both nights oh yeah you were there you were there that weekend I don't know how

who got me in I bought the ticket for the second night the first night I bought tickets I need to know what day it's happening because we're

you gotta go we're gonna be there that June well Bowen day it's happening because we're going to be there that June. Well, Bowen's working all of June but I'm going to be there. Doing what? People's Court? Yeah. Oh, you would be great as like a judge on one of those shows. Well, he's not very fair. He barely even let me get me through my I Don't Think So Honey.

But you have to be more entertaining than fair. Right. You're so right. And if there's one thing Bowen is, it's entertaining. Entertaining. Yeah. As in making, you know, dishes.

He's going to show his butt in a movie. You hear about this? That's why I've been going to the gym. You're going to see squats. Ass.

Squats and hip thrusts. I've never seen my butt hole. And keep it that way. Because of the hair. Because of the hair and but just it's the color.

Is it real hairy down there? Producers are puking by the way because of the hair because of the hair and but just it's the color is it real hairy down there producers are puking by the way all the producers are puking by the way they're all fired all fired um

we have to end the episode I believe oh no because there's but I just wanted to read a book for you guys instead of

instead of us ending every episode with a song can you end the episode with an excerpt from a book? Yeah. Okay. Success is counted sweetest by those who ne'er succeed. To comprehend a nectar requires sorest need.

Not one of all the purple hosts who took the flag today can tell the definition so clear of Victor A. As he defeated dying on whose forbidden ear the distant strains of triumph ring agonized and clear. That was J.K. Rowling. Yes.

Speaking about trans rights. Bye. Bye. On Thanksgiving Day, 1999, five-year-old Cuban boy, Elian Gonzalez, was found off the coast of Florida. And the question was, should the boy go back to his father in Cuba? Mr. Gonzalez wanted to go home and he wanted to take his son with him.

Or stay with his relatives in Miami? Imagine that your mother died trying to get you to freedom. Listen to Chess Peace, the Elian Gonzalez story, on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Julian Edelman. I'm Rob Gronkowski. And we are super excited to tell you about our new show, Dudes on Dudes. We're spilling all the behind-scenes stories, crazy details, and honestly,

just having a blast talking football. Every week, we're discussing our favorite players of all times, from legends to our buddies to current stars. We're finally answering the age-old question, what kind of dudes are these dudes? We're going to find out, Jules. New episodes drop every Thursday during the NFL season.

Listen to Dudes on Dudes on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Sheryl Swoops. And I'm Tarika Foster-Brasby. And on our new podcast, we're talking about the real obstacles women face day to day. Because no matter who you are, there are levels to what we experience as women. And T and I have no problem going there. Listen to Levels to This with Sheryl Swoops and Tarika Foster-Brasby,

an iHeart Women's Sports production in partnership with Deep Blue Sports and Entertainment. You can find us on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Presented by Capital One, founding partner of iHeart Women's Sports. Hey, I'm Jay Shetty and I'm the host of On Purpose. My latest episode is with Jelly Roll. This episode is one of the most honest and raw interviews I've ever had. We go deep into Jelly Roll's life story from being in and out of prison from the age of 13 to being one of today's biggest artists. I was a desperate delusional dreamer.

Be a delusional dreamer. Just don't be a desperate delusional dreamer. Listen to On Purpose with Jay Shetty on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Just don't be a desperate delusional dreamer.