Las Culturistas with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang - "Break My Arm, Sexually" (w/ Max Silvestri)

Episode Date: September 26, 2018

Roll out the red carpet, pop the champagne, because the ALLY OF THE YEAR, Max Silvestri (Big Mouth, The Comedy Lineup), joins Matt & Bowen in-studio!Topics include Bert and Ernie, Goosebumps, breaking your arm (sexually), Julianna Margulies, sex music, tear-jerking films/scenes, Mr. Holland's Opus, and so much more. Plus, Max bravely revisits his 3 failed food shows and delivers a masterful “I Don’t Think So, Honey!” you don't want to miss. ---MERCH! MERCH! GET YOUR LAS CULTURISTAS MERCH!https://www.teepublic.com/stores/las-culturistasLAS CULTURISTAS HAS A PATREON! For $5/month, you get exclusive access to WEEKLY Patreon-ONLY Las Culturistas content!!https://www.patreon.com/lasculturistasSUBSCRIBE ON APPLE PODCASTS TODAY!CONNECT W/ LAS CULTURISTAS ON FACEBOOK & TWITTER for the best in "I Don't Think So, Honey" action, updates on live shows, conversations with the Las Culturistas community, and behind-the scenes photos/videos:www.facebook.com/lasculturistastwitter.com/lasculturistasLAS CULTURISTAS IS A FOREVER DOG PODCASThttp://foreverdogproductions.com/fdpn/podcasts/las-culturistas/ Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Look, man. Oh, I see. Wow. Bowen, look over there. Wow. Is that culture? Yes. Oh, my goodness. Wow. Las Culturistas. Ding dong. Las Culturistas calling. I, you know what?

I was going to just come in hot with this breaking news. Yeah. Okay. I think I know what you're going to talk about. About Sesame Street. Yeah. But we're going to get into it later. It might be my I don't think so money.

I actually want to say something right up top. Okay. It's time I come clean. About? to get into it later it might be my i don't think so honey i actually want to say something right up top okay it's time i come clean about so there's a story out which is the sesame street you know the writers the producers they will come out to say that burt and ernie are not gay the the sesame workshop has released a statement saying that they are not gay they are best friends but the writer the creator of of Bert and Ernie, a gay man, sort of said in an interview with Queerty, I believe,

that when he was writing, when he was conceiving them, of them, that he had no other way to view them but as a couple. I have hooked up with Bert consistently since I moved to New York City. Oh, no.

And I am willing to take a polygraph to that effect. Don't. Bert, I will share this. His penis is shaped like a mushroom to New York City. Oh, no. And I am willing to take a polygraph to that effect. Don't. Bert, I will share this. His penis is shaped like a mushroom toadstool. Oh, we're really synthesizing news stories today. Truly, we are. And like I said, I'm willing to take a polygraph.

I just think visibility is so important. And a lot of people have been asking me what I would say to Ernie. I don't know what I would say. I don't know him. But this is... I don't know what I would say. I don't know him. But this is, but this is, I don't know what the nature of the relationship is. I just know what my nature of,

with my relationship with Bert was. Yes. He's my lover. And it's been like that for 10 years. So I'm sorry, but it's, it's really about truth and people understanding the truth. I am the Stormy Daniels of the Sesame Street universe.

Wow. And I will burn this to the ground. Actually, this is the thing about, this is the thing that I have an issue Daniels of the Sesame Street universe Wow And I will burn this to the ground Actually this is the thing that I have an issue with With the Sesame Workshop statement Is that they end it by saying They share They identify as male, they share many qualities As humans

That humans have But they are puppets and therefore Do not have a sexual orientation And yet puppets can be autistic P have a sexual orientation. But then meanwhile you have autistic. Puppets can be autistic. Puppets can be bitches in dumpsters. Puppets can be, you know,

birds can be walking around. They can be like Puerto Rican, like whatever. They have race. They have mental health spectrum. They can have every quality except not a sexual orientation. Interesting.

And I'm here to say I'm so sorry. That is actually erasure. It might hurt a lot of people, but it's erasure. It's erasure. And might hurt a lot of people, but it's erasure. It's erasure. And you know that we love to come out and scream erasure. Yes, yes. And we will continue to do that.

And I, as the Stormy Daniels of the Sesame Street universe, will continue to blow the whistle on this. And you will see me on television and on red carpets with my lawyer, presidential hopeful Michael Avenatti. No, no. Who could break my arm? Stop it. Sexually. I'm into it.

All right. We don't have the time to unpack all of that. I'm sexually into Avenatti. Okay. Front runner for title of ep. So what's that? I don't know how our guest

is going to feel about the title of this ep being I'm sexually into Michael Avenatti. But we'll find out. Let's try to center it on his experience. I'm sorry. I'm just so emotional about today. So emotional. Okay.

Our guest is really, really, really great. This is a big get. This is a funny man. Big get. Funny man. And like truly legs and dairy legendary. Do you know what I'm saying? I'm very gagged. Would you go go to big terrific shows back in the day? No. Oh my god okay so him, Gabe Liebman, Jenny Slate like

Oh okay. The triumvirate. Truly like in my conception I'm a little zygo like the first great Brooklyn show that like came to my mind like that like came on my dumb little radar back when I was like 20 in this stupid town

I very much enjoyed the comedy lineup special oh and the comedy lineup special on Netflix you must the quarter hour space is opening up the quarter hour space is really opening up but in the digital space I have to talk to him about some stuff that he covers

that you're blessed then because he's here he's here we have to talk to him about some stuff that he covers that you're you're blessed then because he's here he's here we have to talk to him yeah we gotta talk to him about the school the school that he talks about

oh yeah yeah yeah and I always think about that that school and this I was brave to cover all this thank god he's here

thank god he's here because we can talk to him about it and he's the writer for the amazing show Big Mouth season two drops October 5th the same day as a star is born which is really kind of gonna be a tug of war for my attention on that day you're like oh

do i go for bradley and gaga or millennia and and scroll truly the the the uh bradley and gaga of the of the of the netflix digital digital space digital space yeah he's so funny he's so great he's just really the best person cutie cutie everyone

welcome into your ears Max Silvestri wow thank you guys that was a really really wonderful intro you know that's

we here's the thing just to make it clear I like I like my arm being broken sexually yes so that is helpful right for the title.

By Michael Avenatti? Sure. He's the type I would like. If you were to swing that way, you'd be an Avenatti gay. I don't think of it as being gendered or any kind of binary. It's more just like whoever is going to break my arm sexually needs to be strong enough to do it. He does seem like he could, you know,

seems like an arm breaker. Like the Sesame street. It doesn't matter what's going on below the waist. It's just about that. He physically has the, the power to break the bone and muscle. I mean, there's so much sinew.

It's like difficult. There's a reason we don't just fall and break all the time. There's so much. Oh, you're talking about your own sinew or his? Yeah. My, and all of ours,

if you've ever just like asked a friend, like break my arm, like even if they're trying, he looks like he could. Yes. And maybe that's what we need in someone that's going to head up against Trump in 2020. I know it's too early to talk about 2020

because, guys, the midterms are right around the corner. Oh, my God. 50 days. 50 days as of now. Less when this one comes out. I'm doing a weird deregister campaign right now. Which, like, among people in my community, I'm just like, the roles are too big. Stop it. You know know unless you've really thought it through get off those i don't want this

mail what's more about the environment sure so where are you doing this stuff florida like what like texas that'd be smart to actually do it on the ground i'm more just like i'm reaching out to people over dm and being like are you registered to vote please unregister here's the link to do it yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah if you if you and, and it's like a sort of like a, not a pyramid thing, but it's like you tell them to go to five people. Exactly. And the truth is,

is like if you know very little information about someone, you can just deregister them on your own. That's true. You know, like if you like look at someone's mail, you have most of what you need. If you listen to podcasts, I probably know all your security words. Oh, absolutely.

Anyone out there could deregister us oh no i'm certain that you could steal my identity i'm certain of it you know what truly happened the other day i went to go cast my vote for miss cynthia nixon didn't go our way didn't go our way um by the way that's what my mom texted me the day after the 2016 election she said well that didn't go our way but um no one asked for my id really no i know they've been that's not and i also heard that a lot from people it's a fame the general it's a fame it's a fame it's a people people in your district are like hello i think uh are they were like um yeah we know who you are oh my god people volunteering i'm sure you're right um but the thing is i was like this is crazy and then a dark thought But the thing is, I was like, this is crazy.

And then a dark thought ran through my mind. Yeah. I was like, I could go to some, I could just be like, oh, my name is, and just know my friends that aren't like, kind of scoop right in there and vote twice. You have all your various wigs and costumes on like a, you know, like a thing you're pulling in, like a big chest on wheels or whatever. And you're like, I'm going to run outside for a second. I'm Belinda Bagoo.

Belinda Bagoo. Yeah. A lot of my wigs are like Belinda Bagoo. Yeah. They're like, I'm going to run outside for a second. I'm Belinda Bagoo. Belinda Bagoo. Yeah, a lot of my wigs are like Belinda Bagoo last weeks. They're very kind of red and curly. People are like, oh wow, Belinda Magoo.

You haven't voted in so long. We're so happy to have you back. Here you are, registered in South Slope. I am technically committing voter fraud, I will say. How is that? I will just confess it

on the pod, on the record. And I will just change this, but I'm registered in Colorado. Yes. I pay my taxes Colorado. Ah, yes. I pay my taxes here. It's voter fraud. California voter?

I am a California voter, which is, you know, there's a rule following part of me that was just like, well, I want to get a... Yeah. Actually, it's because I wanted to get a marijuana cart.

So I had to change my DMV stuff. So then I was like, well, in New York, it's just as useless in LA. But my partner of many years, like she has family in San then I was like, well, in New York, it's just as useless in LA. But my partner of many years, like she has family in San Diego that is like, and I'm like, we should, we're there a lot. We're there enough that it would not be fraudulent. Like, like it's her parents spent half the year there and we're there a lot. And it's just like, I should do that's just as much

as being like, oh, I never unregistered from my college town or whatever. Just to actually have a vote that matters. So the point is, if you are registered, get off those rolls, guy. It takes five seconds. Truly, truly unregistered. De-registered. Maybe that's the title of that. De-registered.

De-registered to vote. I know someone that just re-registered in Michigan. Oh. That's all I'll say about that. I think I know who this is. Yeah. And honestly, smart strategic move. But he doesn't live there. But very much not

living there. All right. But we have to fight fire with fire. In fact, that's what Michael Avenatti said. That might be his campaign slogan. No joke. Fight fire with fire. Otherwise, they're going to break your arm, and you're not going to like it as much as you and I will.

I always say that. I saw Darren Criss in his suit last night on the Emmys. I said, I'd let that man break my arm. You know what? Give him an extra Emmy for the performative heterosexuality. I think he's the real deal. I had a barbecue at my house. And I'm a fan of his work. And I loved American Horror Story.

Did he roll through? A friend that came invited him. It was the day after he'd gotten the Emmy nomination. I think they'd had a bit of a party the night before, like a surprise thing for him. Sure. But because it was a party, they didn't eat the cake that was made

that his wife got for him. And so just in this last minute invite to come to this barbecue at my house, they brought the cake. And they were in this last minute invite to come to this barbecue at my house, they brought the cake and they were being silly about it and embarrassed, but ultimately did put down with like a handful of homemade cobblers a cake that said like, congratulations

on your Emmy nod, Darren. At your house? At my barbecue, yes. It wasn't like my birthday or anything, but it was just like this beautiful like matte chocolate. It was like a gorgeous cake but next to like you know stuff that friends and i had cooked and it was appreciated but also like they suddenly got embarrassed and we're like should we wipe the words off and i was like i

love it you don't have to do that but then they did they felt so bad because they didn't want to be it was just like we have a full cake and we're going to a barbecue that's how you know who he is straight it would have been way more queer and radical to just lay that cake on the table and be like, this is my party now. I take it back. I take it back. He's sweet. He's very sweet. He seems like a sweetie. I loved his suit. And I was like, but he was a fly suit.

A straight man who wears that kind of suit is too much of an ally. And there might be such a thing. But the suit of the night was your friend John Mulaney. Yes. Emmy winner. Emmy winner John Mulaney. Can't we believe? Unbelievable, that light blue suit. I always say if I ever go to the Emmys, I'm wearing a color.

I'm wearing canary yellow. And I think it's hard for kind of boring-ish white guys to pull off color without seeming... Ironic. Yeah, ironic or like he looked good, I thought. He looked classy, not just like transgressive or whatever. I feel like in the past few years, he has upped the glam factor

in a major way. Someone's styling him. Kid gorgeous. Kid gorgeous. Is that the doing of Cara Maslin? It might be Cara Maslin. Cara Maslin, love Cara Maslin. Cara Maslin, she got a shout out. Cara Maslin's our sister. Our sister. What I loved about his speech is that he thanked the assistants.

Yeah. And that got him a pause break. Love it. Huge deal. Max, we have to talk about this school. First of all, everyone should listen to, everyone should listen, watch. You could listen to it. You could watch it.

It's an audio visual experience. I think Netflix stuff, they should advertise more. Just put it on while you drive. As long as you don't lock the screen, it's like there's some act outs, but you'll get it. You're not staring at the TV at home. It's an album, babe.

It's noise. You know, you have your car iPad. You put in your headphones. You throw it on the passenger side. You know, floor well. Footwell? Footwell. We'll call it the Footwell.

That feels right. Yeah. A lot of ways to enjoy this one. Totally. Anyway, this podcast is sponsored by footwell um they send you socks perfectly molded to your feet once a month footwell check them out use code okay carol maslin wow wow she's gonna fucking flip she's gonna love that she's gonna text us immediately i see max can read ad copy better than we can

yeah honestly you want to do ours? But he fucking improvised it. I mean, I used to be a bad TV host. What did you host on the television? It was a cooking show. I had three food shows that all failed after one season. Okay, what? Very quickly.

Let's run through them because I'm fascinated by this. I need a refresher. Let's first acknowledge that this is brave for me to acknowledge this in fascinated by this. I need a refresher. And let's first acknowledge that this is brave for me to acknowledge this in a high profile. Brave, bruised, and who you were meant to be.

I've been obviously spent years trying to rebrand it, get people like you, younger, up in the future to forget that that was sort of my path. I had a show

with Gail Simmons and Marcus Samuelson, like a talk show thing called The Feed. The Feed. That's a great title for a show about food. It was kind of like Top Gear,

which I also don't watch but about food instead of cars. You know, that audience is almost too obvious. It's like, they're all right here, you know?

I agree. And then I did a show that was kind of like the amazing Race Meets Chopped that was like, Ooh, dangerous. It was called

Pressure Cooker and couples, oh God, I've done two. Did they run with cutlery? Kind of, yeah, yeah. It's rule ofure Cooker. And couples, oh God, I've done two. Did they run with cutlery? Kind of, yeah, yeah. It's rule of culture number six. You cannot run with cutlery.

You're gonna stab an eye out. Which would have made for good television. More people would have watched it. But this is the episode where they had to like have VO at the end explaining why there's no footage. But no, the idea was like a couple's like brother, sister, husband, wife,

et cetera. One who's a professional cook, one who's bad. Three teams would be dropped in a state they'd never been in. Love it. They would get like clues basically to where grocery stores were. They weren't allowed to use GPS, only had a flip phone.

This is insane. So half of the show was kind of like a, you know, like the, like weird, they'd be trying to get to some grocery store, but then like a herd of sheep would cross the road and they're like, honey, and they'd be fighting. And then they go to the grocery store and they're like, we're only a liquor store.

And they're like, we only have 20 minutes to get. And then it was outdoor cooking for the second half in the vista of like we did Portland, Maine, Philly. It was like then localized. I mean, it was crazy. That's incredible. You need so many skills to be good at that. Oh, my God. Yeah. And then I did a show on Bravo called Recipe for Deception. That was even more complicated. What's the deception? Okay. Yeah. What is this? So it was kind of like chopped and that you had like, I guess it was four. It was like one on one, one on one.

And then the winners would face off. So three rounds. Each had to make a dish with a secret ingredient. The trick was they didn't know their own secret ingredient. But the other chef did. So they were allowed at the top of the show to ask three questions of the other chef, yes or no questions, to narrow down their secret ingredient. And that chef answered with two truths and a lie.

Jesus. It was like you needed scrap paper. It was so complicated. A Mobius strip. It's a Mobius strip of a reality show. I had to do so much ADR, as they tried to piece the story of each thing, because they'd be like,

so the whole show is that weird, hushed Padma Top Chef style, like ADR done years later. Just me being like, so right now, Doug is trying to cook a shrimp dish, but he misunderstood the clue. That was the lie clue. His ingredient is actually marshmallow.

He's got nothing sweet going. Meanwhile, like it was, cause they didn't even have the same ingredient. It was, it was a lie. And then like at 10 minutes, they got to ask one more question. If they got it right, if they guessed it with there's a lie, they then got to ask a fourth question.

It was a little bit doomed. It was fun to make. That's crazy. Manifold. Are you a food show fan now? You know, that stuff came out of me writing Eater and Grantland recaps of food shows for many, many years. I think all that time

spent watching and having to look for the moment find the animated gif or whatever um after those shows I like I have not watched any of them but not out of any like I'm above it or beyond it just being like I can't jump back into Top Chef I think it's a good show but yeah yeah yeah totally I have to say I have a blind spot for like food shows same I I try to watch Nailed It, but I feel that the steaks are... I know that the whole point is that the steaks aren't there, and I do love Nicole. That was also my fourth show, The Steaks Aren't There, which is people...

It was like a butchery cutoff, but they didn't know where their steaks were, so they'd have to follow a map that was only half real. I live. The steaks aren't there. Someone would say that in every episode organically. It would be like a plate and they'd reveal the plate and the steaks wouldn't be there and someone would say the steaks aren't there

and then the show would begin. Wow. Oh, man. I will say that speaking of steaks, Great British Bake Off has turned me around I watch that religiously now because it's sort of like diametrically opposite from what we're used to it's just so it's so genteel and it's so like lovely and yeah, I used the Acronym incorrectly all the time. I'm sure but it's a like ASMR

You know like we literally in our new apartment my girlfriend and I we were like we're not going to have a TV in the bedroom we used to we watched too much TV in the bedroom but we put one back on the dresser just for 10 minutes of Great British Bake Off before bed it is the most soothing it's a fun little I think what's missing from Great

British Bake Off for me is the cutthroat bitchy quality that I need, which is why I think I'd like Top Chef. You're never going to get that from GBB. No, I know. But I didn't think I was going to like Project Runway, and then I started watching Project Runway,

and I loved it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because they're truly nasty. Right. But Padma's fantastic. I haven't seen that much Top Chef either. Queen Padma. Padma's wonderful.

She's really, really... Yeah, I got to meet her and hang out with her once and she was everything I wanted her. What happened was is that like they, I got to guest judge

on an episode of Top Chef. Like kind of as cross promotion for mine. Yeah, yeah. Yes. So someone in the Bravo

marketing department was like, you know, we've got you there where we're filming for the day. We should do like kind of a web,

you know, like let's do this thing where you maybe do like a funny kind of sketch with Padma. You know, we have her for 20 minutes or whatever. Right. Yeah. So before I even pitched anything out,

they're like, and just, you know, some ground rules with Padma, you know, you know, like obviously she loves to, has a great sense of humor about herself,

loves to have fun, you know, like she's up for anything though. You know, no jokes that it makes it seem like she doesn't know about food. No jokes that undercut this, nothing that points out like it was kind of an intense, like calculated, like don doesn't know about food. No jokes that undercut this. Nothing that points out. Like it was kind of an intense, like calculated, like don't do that.

Yeah. But then the idea I pitched was like, well, I am genuinely in awe of her and not as experienced as her. Why don't we do a thing where I play up being like a nervous new food host interviewing the queen of food TV. The queen of all that. Yes. interviewing the queen of food TV. The queen of all that. And just like, I can just be kind of bad at it and she can be a little like condescending in her. And they're like,

yeah, we're totally gonna tell her about that. Like, that'll be great. And I'm like, yeah, it seems easy.

She can just lean into what she does and I can do whatever. So we're placed in this tiny little un-air-conditioned green room like that clearly interrupts her hair and makeup

for the real, she's like, oh, I'm doing a favor for the like Bravo web department. But obviously, I have obviously i have 20 minutes yeah yeah and she's sitting there and like her you know like hair and makeup birds are flooding around and i'm just like no it's fine i'll sweat through this suit i don't care at all genuinely so i'm sitting there kind of almost like knee to knee with her because it's like a tight one camera two shot or whatever and no one really

introduces me or someone's like uh padma this is max he's he's gonna be a judge today but he's also he's hosting recipe for deception she just kind of does like a nod and looks at me clearly not prepped not ready to do the sketch and so off camera um she's like looking at me and she's like so like so what is what is your show that you're hosting and uh i say uh well it it's called Recipe for Deception. It's going to be on after Top Chef this coming season. And, you know, so it's a food competition show. I mean, it's not like yours.

It's not Top Chef. It's kind of more like Chopped, kind of like one-offs. And she's like, I've never seen Chopped. It's such a deliberate way. And I was like, yes, of course. I guess what I mean is it's not a king of the hill. It's just there's four chefs. And the the thing is they don't know their secret and she's just staring at me like unblinking you know statuesque as I just like blubber and fast talk and like blink blink

blink blink and I'm like so anyway they're you know getting away from you and you're like oh my god totally I'm like so you know they don't know but it's kind of fun and they lie and so there's a little bit of puzzling and she just is like, you know, if you're going to be hosting the show, a lot of people are going to be asking you what the show is about

so you should probably get good at answering that question in under 20 seconds and then looks away from me and the producer's just like, yeah, that's the energy we were thinking, Padma. Perfect.

Perfect. It's just like, that's how the whole interview went it's just me motor mouthing the thing is i've there i have one experience um where somebody i think they didn't mean anything by it but shook me to my car which was my seinfeld experience oh sure i booked a thing on comedians and cars like years ago where I played Jerry Seinfeld and Michael Richards Michael Richards is assistant yes yes and so Jerry I guess you're crumbling down all my beliefs about the veracity of comedians and cars right Jerry I guess doesn't shake hands sure yeah so I went up to shake his hand cuz he actually had cast me for the part like he was in the room when I when i auditioned like no one knew that was going to happen it's

like for this tiny part it's like the thing this crackle day is the crackle day right right right well back when they were doing like sketch and michael richards was like he played like the head of crackle that was the whole thing oh wow okay and so basically what happened was i'm there on set and i i'm excited it's the first thing I've ever booked in. It's Jerry Seinfeld. And you booked it in the room. It's not just like, oh, yeah. He chose me for it.

Wow. And then he called me and he was like, Matt, come in here. I was like, he knows my name. Oh, my God. Wow, wow, wow. I go up and it's him and it's like this guy who's like his head writer. And I go to shake his hand and I say, this is such an honor. Thank you so much. He goes, I don't shake hands. And I go to shake his hand and I say, this is so, this is such an honor. Thank you so much.

He goes, I don't shake hands. And I was like, okay. And then I was, he goes, this is my head writer. This is so-and-so.

And I go to shake his hand and he goes, I don't shake hands either. And I go, oh, for two. And they were like, they like cocked their head and they were like, hmm,

uh, well, this is going to be great. See ya. And I was like, okay. I hadn't shot one thing. And I was like, ruined that. Oh man. My energy in those situations is I would be like, hmm, well, this is going to be great. See ya. And I was like, okay. Hadn't shot one thing. And I was like, ruined that.

Oh, man. My energy in those situations is I would be like, well, I hope you're a hugger. You know, like I always over, like when I sense a waiter not liking like light bits at the top of the meal, I'm just like, well, I'm doubling down. Like I'm going to have like a whole routine of where the menus are. Like it's as she just loses patience and i just keep like getting sweatier and like my collar getting looser or whatever i dig in as well what do you have any experience with a celebrity where you were like

thrown you you have to see a lot of celebs i but what what are my experiences i don't know here's a good one we can share okay what, what? So we did Vulture Festival. Yes. We were like hosting at Vulture Festival. We were doing like the press room. And Julianna Margulies was coming in. Oh, yeah. This is fun. And the publicist runs in and she's like, I don't know what this is, but Julianna's coming in.

And, you know, she's Julianna Margulies. Like she doesn't do like a bit. She was like, whatever you guys have planned, she's probably not going to be game to do it. Just forget about it. And she's really cold, by the way. It's really cold in this place. She's freezing. She's freezing. She's freezing freezing cold she has prepared answers about process just let her read them and we were like oh my god we're wearing like these ridiculous

suits we're like not journalists we're like oh my god it's like vulture fest we like write the rupaul stragrist recaps that's the only reason your first move is to touch everyone's hair literally like we had just done something with jonathan jonathan van ness where we were just like screaming like screaming and then juliana comes in and we were so terrified it was marty well first it was marty noxon yes who's a queen legend and then um oh may may something that actress in um dietland yes fantastic so it was it was for some dietland press thing yeah so mart Marty and this actress come in and then Juliana comes in

just clenched at her biceps just like, it's so cold in this room. Is it going to be as cold in this room as it is in the other room? And we were like, oh my God, no, this is really going to happen.

She's really not going to be nice. We're journalists. We're also in charge of the temperature in all these rooms. So glad you asked us. The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City are back. I love that. I love that. So glad you asked us. The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City are back. I love that.

I love that. Oh my gosh. Welcome. And last season's drama was just the tip of the iceberg. You're recording us? I am disgusted. Never in a million years after everything we've been through did I think that you would reach out to our sworn enemy.

We were friends. How could you do this to me i don't trust her the real housewives of salt lake city wednesdays at nine on bravo or stream it on city tv plus i'm julian edelman i'm rob grankowski guess what folks we're teammates again and we're gonna welcome you guys all to dudes on dudes i'm a dude you, and Dudes on Dudes is our brand new show. We're going to highlight players, peers, guys that we played against, legends from the past, and we're just going to sit here and talk about them.

And we'll get into the types of dudes. What kind of types of dudes are there, Gronk? We got studs, wizards. We got freaks. Or dudes dudes. We got dogs. Dogs. We'll break down their games.

We'll share some insider stories and determine what kind of dude each of these dudes are is randy moss a stud or a freak is tom brady a dog or a dude's dude we're gonna find out jules new episodes drop every thursday during the nfl season listen to dudes on dudes on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. On Thanksgiving Day, 1999, a five-year-old boy floated alone in the ocean. He had lost his mother trying to reach Florida from Cuba. He looked like a little angel. I mean, he looked so fresh. And his name, Elian Gonzalez, will make headlines everywhere. At the heart of the story is a young boy and the question of who he belongs with.

His father in Cuba. Mr. Gonzalez wanted to go home and he wanted to take his son with him. Or his relatives in Miami. Imagine that your mother died trying to get you to freedom. At the heart of it all is still this painful family separation. Something that as a Cuban, I know all too well. Listen to Chess Peace, the Elian Gonzalez story, as part of the My Cultura podcast network, available on the iHeartRadio app,

Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Cheryl Swoops, WNBA champ, three-time Olympian, and basketball Hall of Famer. I'm a mom, and I'm a woman. I'm Tarika Foster-Brasby, journalist, sports reporter, basketball analyst, a wife, and I'm also a woman. And on our new podcast, we're talking about the real obstacles women face day to day. See, athlete or not, we all know it takes a lot as women to be at the top of our game. We want to share those stories about balancing work and relationships, motherhood, career shifts, you know, just all the we go through.

Because no matter who you are, there are levels to what we experience as women and t and i well we have no problem going there listen to levels to this with shro swoops and tarika foster brasby and i heart women's sports production in partnership with deep blue sports and entertainment you can find us on the i heart radio app apple podcast or wherever you get your podcasts. Presented by Elf Beauty, founding partner of iHeart Women's Sports. So then she sits down and then like the cameras start rolling. And then what do we do? I mean, like this is all a blur to me, honestly.

Well, basically it was like at that point, it's like, well, we're still going to be us. You know what I mean? So then we start playing a game. You're not going to suddenly be good, like be a journalist good like be yeah i'm not gonna like i i don't i wouldn't know what to ask juliana margulies about her process yeah like we we didn't know so we end up doing like a bit with her and she actually was game to do it of course and then so basically like by the end of it she was like oh like super like down to clown and like why doesn't my team let me do more bits and meanwhile something like that kept happening to like throughout the thing

like the publicity people would come in and they'd be like this is gonna be the way it is and don't stray from it and don't ask this question and literally one celebrity came in and we were asked explicitly while he's right there this the publicist was like do not ask any questions about their personal life and he made a face at me like i'm so sorry i was like yeah i mean of course we would i feel like yeah publicists are often those people's worst enemy of like they're being they're making everyone hate that person on their behalf but it's like about the publicist thing but i also think it's probably there's some actors that are like i want i mean it's so fun comedians i'd love to do bits and

then like have in the past done the like Liam Neeson and that Ricky Gervais show where he's like wants to do an improv and he just like keeps saying he has full blown AIDS there's clearly actors

who like should be protected from riffing off the top of their head where the publicist is like you were gonna say such a horrible thing if you're allowed to and then by the end

of the Juliana interview she came over to us and she said quote well you two are a hoot and a holler. And then she said to me, she goes, you know, you could be Matt Bomer's little brother. And I was like, wow. I literally looked her in the eyes and I was like, that's the best thing anyone's ever said to me.

Insane. She was like very kind. But that's the thing is it's like you don't know who's who's telling the truth there it's like it's a weird situation because it's like the publicist probably has been told by the celebrity before like how dare you let me do that yeah but also you know they're overcompensating because they don't want to be put in that situation i always think every like i watched all the good wife really like julietta margulies she's amazing but i remember remember reading a thing probably on Vulture that like Les Moonves, RIP thank God, had

I guess the only way Julianna, like was is it Julianna? Julianna? Julianna Margulies. Julianna. The only way she was willing to do The Good Wife after obviously being, doing the grind of an hour drama for so

many years. And she didn't want to dip back in those waters is she's like, I'm not going to straighten my hair and do hours in the chair to play this like waspy, like whatever's wife. So she's like, if we can figure out a wig situation and did and like her, you know,

her hair the whole time, it's like a very expensive wig. So she could show up and plug it in and save herself over the course of eight seasons. But that it was such a success to convince this lead nervous about TV that wigs are the future

that Les Moonves would farm out Juliana Margulies to sit down with other actresses nervous about doing TV or taking weird character swings. Being like, no, no, you can do it in a wig. Like Juliana will have like show and she would she'd be like, I'd love to talk to other actors about how great it is to just wear a wig every day.

But I just used to like imagine these like weird generals or whatever at the South Beverly Grill just being like, oh, my God, that's crazy. Your kids go to Crossroads and like, oh, we fall out anyway. OK, yeah, we'll do the artichoke tip so wigs you know like what is your experience in the past been with wigs because the technology is whatever that technology is crazy it's there it's moving quickly because now i'm trying to think back to the good wife and think was there ever a time when she was i was like that's a wig when it was like pulled back or something yeah your kids go to crossroads oh my god no she makes me think of she multiple people

and the thing is i'm so i'm happy you brought up les moonves because i i've been waiting to talk about this oh on the pod absolutely julie chen is gonna leave the talk just saw that headline today right right we're triumphant about it because she came after us she came after us because at that very same vulture festival, we interviewed Tracy Morgan. And maybe you don't remember this, but there was that weird thing about Tracy Morgan talking shit about Tiffany Haddish. Oh, I missed that.

But don't they work together? Yes. And so we were doing, and we didn't even know Tracy was coming in. No harried publicist ran in and said, Tracy's coming in. We were told all day, Tracy's not doing Press Room.

We were like, great. And was he doing press for the TV? For The Last OG. The Last OG. And so then he finally comes in and then he sits down and he's giving us great vibes and then we start the interview and then the first thing we ask him is,

congrats on The Last OG, how does it feel to be working with all these great actors like Tiffany Haddish? And then he goes, we're not gonna talk about her. He said that with no, oh wow. Yeah, he said that, but then it became this thing that he, it became this longer meditation about how it takes so many people

to make a successful TV show, and he's memorized every crew member's names, and it was a beautiful sort of rumination on that. If you're gonna ask about Tiffany, ask about Cedric, ask about the crew, ask about craft services. And he's like, I know all their names.

And so I'm thinking like we're doing a little bit of a bit now, but he's hard to read. So then the way it was edited down and the way it got picked up in the media was like, Tracy Morgan talks shit

about Tiffany Haddish. Right. So they play it on the talk and Miss Julie Chen says... Julie Chen Moonves, I'm sorry. Chen says Julie Chen Moonves I'm sorry Julie Chen Moonves signing off

signing off confidently standing with her abuser husband it's important to nail this home the Me Too movement is the real big brother signing off

so Julie Chen Moonves says you know I thought it was really kind of disrespectful of the interviewers to ask a question about a co-star when the star of the show is sitting right there. When meanwhile, A, to act like she's never asked someone about their co-star in her entire journalistic career is truly insane. Wow.

And B, the whole point of what he was saying was shine a light on other people. Yeah, let's talk about all the co-stars. So it was truly insane. And so like Julie Chen Moonves' downfall is one that we are just fine with. We're just fine with. I mean, yeah, he's the Howard stuff today was interesting. Howard Stern came after Julie. And yeah, both of them.

I mean, it feels hard to it's hard to separate the two of them when you're you know like a badass unit yeah totally well he was like how are you gonna leave

like you're gonna leave the talk and like where women talk about these things that's a slap in the face to women you know to side and he was mainly saying to side with Les Moonves

right now totally truly crazy yeah but I mean of course like of course she is right of course of course I think she right? Of course, of course.

I think she's old school. But that's a very good wife narrative. A very good wife narrative. Oh my god. That's definitely like an easy thing to put in the like well for season three, we're thinking that, you know, like just I haven't really thought it out, but

you can think about it. That was a good show, The Good Wife, huh? I haven't watched the new The Good Fight. Yeah, I hear that's great. Yeah. I never got into it. I'm still in the first couple seasons where it's still like a procedural. What, The Good Wife?

The Good Wife. I feel like the reason it's hard to get into The Good Wife is because now you have all these prestige shows that are like 12 episodes. And The Good Wife was still hearkening back to the era of 24 episode seasons. And it's just just really a slog. See, I don't love cooling out with comedy as far as binging goes. If I'm cooking or whatever, that's usually not what I want to put on, but Good Wife is a show where because it's 24 episodes,

because it's only semi-serialized, it's not like, oh, I've got to sit down and watch my homework. It's like blowing through four at a time while I'm like half paying attention you know I maybe have missed some scenes that's interesting that you feel like

so do you feel like when you are watching comedy shows other comedy shows that you're not working on it feels like homework? no no I was talking about prestige dramas feeling like homework but comedy is just it's more the serialized thing where there's so much TV to watch that people will be like well you have to check out this comedy show and i'll watch it and like it but it will never occur to me to keep watching right totally that's why i

i thought search party was so effective of just like give you the thinnest not that it's thin but just like just a little bit of plot and a thread that i want to watch the next one rather than being like okay that felt, that felt good. Anytime I do watch good comedies, I enjoy them. I just mostly am like, I'd rather watch this show about a pile of dead British children being found

in a rectory or whatever. I don't know the weirdest taste. I got so fucking into when it was on The Killing. Oh my god. That was the thickest, darkest show you could ever imagine. It was truly like dead kid show. And that show would have, because it was 13 episodes or whatever,

they would just have three episodes where being like, oh, you know, like, you know when we found that like pile of kid toes, and we thought that was probably the guy that was been cutting off kids' heads. We thought that might have been him. That was just a separate kid toe thing that's not really central. Those kids are alive and it's messed up.

And by the way, here's 13 minutes of the mother from last season still heaving, sobbing and screaming. Remember all the deep grief we thought we at least would move past? They'll just come back around to scream about, you know. I love that the hype was, it was like the first two seasons was still based on that first case of the girl. And then the third season was,

I think they took like a year off and then they came back and they were like, the heightened was 15 times more dead kids. Yeah. It was like, you thought there was just one. No bitch. We're killing a lot of kids.

We had to get a bigger backhoe from Oregon to come clean out the dead kids. We filled a swamp full of dead kids. And some of the dead kids had kids. And their kids are underneath. Did you watch The Killing? No. I watched The Killing with someone I was dating. And I remember,

I guess we were in a dark place because I was dating this guy and we were watching The Killing. And then the first time we were going to hook up, he goes, you know what album we have to listen to? Adele 21. What? This is

the real thing that happened. This is a psychopath. And I was like okay so our life is devastating. It didn't work out. But I mean like every time he said that he heard from a friend that that was the good album to hook up to. No way. I like the idea that that is like your Pavlov that was the good album to hook up to. Wow. No way.

I like the idea that that is like your Pavlov. That sets the mood. Anytime it's like, you know what album we have to listen to? Adele 21. And you're like, you know what? I'm going to take a quick shower.

And I got a rough handjob to, don't you remember? Oh my God. That's like someone, yeah, wanting to get blown to like blue by Joni. Like, that's crazy. Yes, bitch. Put on, to like blue by Joni. Like, that's crazy.

Yes, bitch. Put on D'Angelo. Yeah, I know. Anything else. I masturbate to Bosh, the show on. I don't watch it. I just need to have, you know, the smooth saxophone sounds of him driving around LA. Here's a sexy question.

Music or no music during the sexy time? Oh, I've done either, it i love a good little sound soundtrack i almost never listen to music like there's something about it there's music on in the house but like there's there's such an artifice not that like sex especially in a long-term relationship doesn't have quite a bit of artifice around it anyway uh but like there's such a i've always felt so self-conscious about the vibe of like picking a playlist anytime I would read like a New York Mag sex diary

or some like real thing of someone being like oh they always had sex to like this R&B album I'm like you like go to your phone and like cast it to your Apple TV

like oh this song's a little too like bass heavy or like I just also the intensity of it can creep up on you like I remember my ex-boyfriend like the second or third time we like had sex, like one plus one by Beyonce came on,

which is about being eternally in love and having like true groundswell, like lovemaking. And she's like, what she's doing her whole Beyonce thing. And you might do a shuffle and like, like one of your own, like a voice memos, like a good bit,

a voiceover audition from your voice memo, just being like, whatever, like trying to like nail a kid show or something. It's a footwell. And yeah, the user. Oh my God.

The footwell. It said that they were looking for naturalistic, but then the guy they went with, I mean, this guy's theater train. I mean, he's booming here. I'm like,

you're like in someone. Wait, but that's not to say that You have experience of course Blasting the classical music So that the Sure yes That is my own private intimacy

Now we're gonna get back to what you said Bowen Which was about In the special it's revealed That during During me time As you put it Yes You had to block out the sounds of

The children Who went to the elementary school that you lived literally next door to yes that's a horrifying thing yeah it was so i mean do either you guys live in williamsburg no i live in greenpoint okay so it's the school on uh metropolitan and leonard sure yeah it's like a it's like a it's a grade school and like something i forgot with the bit is that uh most people that know schools like the suburbs, like there is grass and there are like things to climb on and fields like city schools are just like sound baths. It's asphalt and like cage and brick. Yeah.

And traffic right there. And like, so the sound was that much. And the kids didn't have anything to do except scream. And run around in a circle. Yeah, exactly. just screaming each other and like i was writing at home alone and constantly procrastinating and like 10 feet away and was always i don't talk about this as much in the bit but i like i i like at some point all these people that have come out as um like dark perverts in a way that's gotten i don't want to misuse the term pervert because perversion implies a certain

norm, you know, but that have come out as like, Oh, there's something graduated to like sexual assault or like disrespect other people at some point, like at some point they did cross the threshold and just be like, Oh,

that thing that I, I didn't mean to jerk off in front of someone the first time that I did, but like, it didn't kind of have huge consequences. And it was like definitely the best time I ever jerked out like that's at some point as circumstances came together they weren't like I imagine and I don't know

I'm not a psychologist they weren't born with an impulse to just be like you know that's specifically what it's you know like things happen in escalator whatever so I weirdly like always living next to a school just felt like I'm just an adult with weird thoughts. And I watch pornography and I like, but there's just innocence there.

And I know. I don't know. Wow. You're giving this all the the appropriate contours, I think. So thank you for doing that. But that is crazy, though. Yeah, they're right. There is your jerk.

And also they're the loudest. That's the loudest age. You can't. So loud. You talk in your special about, like, it's truly just when you get to recess, you just scream. And these kids are screaming. And you're in your home that you own, that you rent at the time. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And you're well within your rights to procrastinate. Yeah, yeah. Quote, unquote. Any way you would like. If anything, they've transgressed by putting their screams into my personal space. I'm doing due diligence to keep my business out of theirs. If anything, they should come knock at the door and thank me. You know what?

That's exactly what I want. And actually, that's my thing. I just discovered that a teacher knocking on my door and thanking me just as I finish is my thing. Hey, just we all. Very much my thing. We all thank you this thing. There also used to be, and I don't, I guess it's because I would like be thinking about

weird standup premises while there was children around. But like they always used to park buses on my street and around the corner that would have these signs in the back that said, like uh printed out on paper taped to the back door window that said um no sleeping children inside and i think it was a thing of like just someone has checked the bus can drive away there's not like we know all the kids are off the bus we don't have a situation where it's like in the heat of a depot in queens oh yeah but just like the idea of like that was like, like who would volunteer for that job?

Just be like, I'd love to check these buses. I need someone to check for kids. Yeah, and these kids are like exhausted. They haven't had breakfast

or lunch and they're just, oh my God, yeah. Insane. I'll carry them out. Oh, no. Yeah, yeah. No, no, no. Trust me, trust me.

I'm really good at this. Yeah, I'm really, I can spot them. Yeah, no, I'll take my shoes off before I get on the bus so I don't wake them. Oh, yeah, you're welcome to wake them that's actually a big part of it no you can't wake people they're angels because then we won't know if they're sleeping we're looking for sleeping so anyway i got fired because i kept putting up a sign that said no

sleeping angels and they said you have to say no sleeping children angels so take yourself back to the time when you were the angel the angelic cherubic sure yeah yeah and now we'll ask you the question that we ask all of our guests which is max what is the culture that made you say culture is for me this is a piece of culture or just a larger cultural concept like the town you grew up in or a movie a book a play whatever it is that sort of set you off in this path um you know i gotta say the culture um for me that both kind of like I don't know taught me about the first culture I got obsessed about obsessed about like part

of the fun for me in culture and internet's made it a little bit easier is like searching out more of a thing and being able to find a thing and knowing more about it and being a completist and this collection vibe it's something millennial and I'm right on the edge.

You guys get it. But it was Goosebumps. The original Goosebumps series. Mr. Stein. Mr. Stein. Mr. Arl Stein. I never got into the later, he continues to create. The franchises keep bubbling out.

But when I first got into them, I guess maybe it was like the fourth, fifth, sixth grade. I was like always a super reader as a kid. Like I was an only child. We did a lot of like road trips for my parents, like work and stuff. And I could read in the car. So they, library books and books,

they were always happy to like, whatever you need. But that was the first thing where I'm like, oh, this is number two yeah and like you go into certain Walden books and they have like 1 7 10 and 14 but it's like oh I've never seen six around like the idea of ordering online and all that stuff didn't exist so like it was this excitement of like a collection thing a collection of like I want them all I want to read them all I want to have a bookshelf that shows all the pretty colors of like one through 40. So that like prime set of goosebumps like was when I became in middle school and high school, like obsessive about my fandom, you know, about or just about the completest thing is important

here because it's just about filling a set or of just having a thorough breadth of everything about this one thing and saying, I know everything about this. about this yes and saying I'm the guy that has like more goosebumps than you you know like a kid being like I read that one I'm like well did you read all the other ones yeah yeah yeah and you know and I feel like that weird I'm a little OCD

or just a little obsessive in some ways and there's the ability to be like well I want to read them in order I want to like I want to know all the side stories and you know I'm just'm just going to go in this little thing and I'm going to have a Word document that has the lists of the ones I had. All that's mellowed in my adult, learning about priorities and such.

But as a middle schooler, that was the beginning of that. So there's a lot of things that came out of that. That's a great one. Was that an entry point into you liking more scary shit? It weirdly... For me, it wasn't because as a fellow goosebumps now this is it's all coming back to me it wasn't about horror it was just about the the franchise but go yeah and they

were like uh i think it was definitely about getting into novels they were page turners in a way that not all chapter books totally ya chapter books i don't even call that why it's almost younger than that. But like, a lot of times they weren't scary. They were almost silly. So silly. But every two-page chapter

just ended with like, and then Shelly opened the closet and there was a shark. And you turn the page and be like, actually, it was a stuffed shark. Doug left it there.

I forgot they were like that. They were all like, pull your feet out from you. Like, nothing there. Like, it was just like the thinnest of mysteries. And you go to the next gooey number. Gooey. And all like, pull your feet out from you. Like nothing there. Like it was just like the thinnest of mysteries.

And you go to the next gooey number. Gooey. And also like that started my fandom for trippy fonts. I don't know if everyone knows that I love trippy fonts. I think letters that are melting. Are they wet? Are they sweating? I think that's kind of a big thing.

I think they're gooey. I think they're gooey. I don't think it's more complicated than that. Okay, best book in the series for you? Are you staying out of the basement queen? Night of the Living Dummy? Night of the Living Dummy. And I actually like,

I haven't even seen the new Goosebumps movie. It's like, it's not hitting, like no longer I don't have that connection to it. I know, same. When I saw the trailer for the new one. When you saw Slappy, you were like, oh fuck. Oh yeah, it like brought this stuff out. Slappy is iconic.

Slappy is canon sloppy i don't know goosebump i mean he is the like iconic scary yeah ventriloquist dummy oh sure like those those the eyebrows the mouth i was he looks like us he looks like he looks like teddy perkins from atlanta. Did you watch Atlanta this season? I have seen that episode. I haven't watched all of it. But Donald Glover is in whiteface as this crazy looking person. And it just looks, I think whoever vision boarded this, whoever like whatever art person.

Had it as a head slappy as a reference point. Head slappy on as a reference. Absolutely guaranteed. I was talking with somebody the other day about like, they were like, why isn't there like an alt comedy ventriloquist? And I really think that like, ventriloquism, like I was into magic,

I was into comedy as a kid, like I liked the idea of that stuff. Like, it seems so hard. It seems so hard. Like no alt, no person who's doing a joke about ventriloquism is going to learn how to do it. To learn to be good at both things. Yeah.

I was trying for the longest time to either build or buy or commission a robot, like a robot head face thing that would just like. Do comedy with you? That I would program things to say. But also, you could program it to blow you. I could. Totally, I think that's what he's really getting at.

No, no, no, and eventually. He wants to fuck the thing. Right, right. And through recursive learning, it would blow me. You want it to fuck you. I wanted to fuck you. You want it to decide to learn to blow you. Yes, yes, yes.

You don't want to, it's not your slave or whatever. because then that's just too much of a god complex. Right. It could also torment you guys. You want some chase in there. It could torment you. It could replace Kara Maslin.

Wait, don't say that. Oh my God, wait, Goosebumps. You guys need to say no to more things. Oh my God. Wait, but you know what I'm realizing now? Goosebumps is bleeding in with me with Are You Afraid of the Dark. Sure, which also was like-

Is that big for you too? Gorgeous. That was very like, Are You Afraid of the Dark is a weird show where I used to babysit on Saturday nights when I was maybe in like second grade or something like that. And Snick and Are You Afraid of Dark was like big. That'd be right before they'd come home. That would be the last thing.

I thought people in Hollywood, like I didn't know it was Canadian until I was like 19 years old. And like everyone is just like, you know, what are you being so like nervous about hey like come on we like it's just a deep canadian show but i thought that's what like the child actor accent was oh my god they talk different that's like i don't know it's not

the valley but it's like that must be just la not knowing it was just it's a weird connect that it's like this it's yeah everybody's just like, come on, we gotta be serious. Hey. I just didn't know. I don't do a great Canadian, but they don't sound. They don't sound like in that show. That show was truly scary.

Are You Afraid of the Dark was huge. We've talked about this on the pod before, but there's a- Also Sticky Letter. Also- Also Gooey Letters. No, Are You Afraid of the Dark? No, it was The Match.

The Match. A slab serif font. It was big and bold. Graphic design queen over there. Slab serif. Slab serif. But of course, bold graphic design queen there you go slab serif but of course I mean listeners you've heard us talk about

this episode before but the iconic episode for me is the Tia and Tamara episode where one of them a lizard turns into one of them and then the girl

has to decide which one is her friend and which one's the lizard like who's become a Maori sister like in the talking no it's me shoot him

and then she has to shoot one of them with water and guess what she shoots you find out the wrong one oh my god a Maori sister. And the talking, no, it's me, shoot him. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, wow. She has to shoot one of them with water and guess what? She shoots, you find out the wrong one. Oh my God. Wait, but why does water

kill the real one? It's something that will never get answered. It was a signs type thing. It will never get answered. They had 23, well, wait, are you afraid of the dark?

Do they have like three stories in each episode or was it full episodes? I think it was full. I thought it was full. Yeah. The first anthology. The first anthology series.

I mean, that Tia and Tamara, are you afraid of the dark was a precursor to everything Ryan Murphy is doing. Oh, that's a bold claim. Bold claim. I claim it boldly. Also,

I just, like, I remember being just jealous of the bumper, the idea that like these kids kind of know each other and they all just like meet in the woods and it's like it all worked out with no cell phones

and they're all loud out. Like this is cool. Is there a sexual energy here? Like what happens? You know, this is. Oh, you're finally here. This spot in the woods. It's late at night.

I've been sitting on the rock for like a real long time and I'm, boy is my behind working. You know the rock. Yeah. And we throw sand onto the fire. The sand was always the sexiest part. And we throw sand on to the fire.

And the sand was always the sexiest part. Am I talking? Oh yeah. Yeah. They would throw the sand on the thing. Yeah. Snuff it. They would snuff it.

They would snuff it. That's what it was. I forgot about the frame. I totally forgot about it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's,

it's a sexy frame, but yeah, those kids, those kids had something, man. What was it? Um, did you watch the goosebumps TV show?

I watched the original, the official, yes. That I think made me realize it was like after I kind of settle on the books, Those kids had something. Man. What was it? Did you watch the Goosebumps TV show? I watched the original. Yes, the original TV show. That I think made me realize, it was like after I'd kind of settled on the books, but they were doing one-to-one adaptations of the series I'd read. But I remember realizing, I'd gotten better at reading.

I remember realizing like, oh, these books must be pretty thin if they can get everything in one ep. Sure. Like it wasn't like, well, the first book will be the first season, we're thinking Sure. It wasn't like, well, the first book will be the first season, we're thinking. It was just like, yep, that was it.

There were two turns. I've never thought about that good feeling that comes with seeing your books in a row. Oh my god, gorgeous. I didn't even realize I was doing this, but I do it with Harry Potter too. I line them all up and it bothers me to this day.

Imagine 70 of those. I know. I know. I can feel that in my body, how good that probably feels. But it bothers me so much that my Sorcerer's Stone is a paperback. Yeah. And the rest of them are hardcover. I need to go buy the hardcover.

Now that you're a successful adult man with a wildly successful podcast empire, there is this company, and I'm sorry to not plug it correctly. I'd gotten a gift from my girlfriend. Basically, they will take any book you want. Oh, shit. And they will make a custom binding and a cover for it

that you can have like for your like, like art that goes across all the books. So like gorgeous. My girlfriend and I, she especially loves the like Elena Ferrante novels. And like they've, they have only ever been out in paperback in English, but like this company made hardcover versions of them and men,

and then made like a cover that like sits, it's almost like an art piece that sits on your shelf. And like one image goes across and they do like cover that sits, it's almost like an art piece that sits on your shelf, and one image goes across, and they do custom. Ooh, that's satisfying, like an ASMR type thing too. Oh, the catalog, it's worth it just to get the catalog in the mail,

because they obviously have these demo wall bookshelves that are all the classics, but all in sepia with the same font, and just batches of images across five. So it just feels like looking at this like mural with your books. It's so rock hard. I'm rock hard. Promo code.

Kara Maslin. That's it. Okay. Wait, I have, we need to talk about goosebumps more. Was it, was it,

um, no, this is huge for me. This is huge for me, Max. Cause the series was very good at the series was a fox it was fox i was in canada it was ytv for for a minute that's where i watched it but um the haunted mask adaptation was masterful because the mask that they got so it's basically this

they get this mask they put it on it's haunted it's crazy it has those crazy things to the kids well it turns the kid evil. Oh, my God. And the mask they got for it was truly Emmy-worthy props. Wait, was it like a large mask? Green. Yes, okay, I remember this. It's like Green Goblin style. It was like...

Yes, the art is very evocative. I would show you a picture and you would be like, oh, my God, yes, this is coming back. I think I also remember reading, and this could be apocryphal and Arl Stein's on on twitter i'm sure he can correct this uh that for a lot of like that series he would come up with the title and the cover image before and reverse engineer it from there you know like just this idea of like uh you know uh the boy with the you know wasp in his brain or whatever that's not it but like and then just have like an image of like wasp eyes or something and then like be like okay i can imagine that like a kid's at camp and he gets you know, wasp in his brain or whatever. And then just have like an image of like wasp eyes or something and then like be like,

okay, I can imagine that like a kid's at camp and he gets, you know, whatever. Like, and I was always very impressed by the business. The business side of that. Or just, yeah. Pump them out. Wow. But I, cause sometimes I'm going to say something.

Sometimes the content of the books didn't live up to the art. I mean, it can't possibly, especially when that idea comes first. A hundred percent. A hundred percent. And I will say that like part of this collector thing it birthed in me was like the objects, the physical object and the hunt was as important to me in my fandom as the content.

You know, like I, in middle school and early high school, I got really into like Star Wars novels, like the expanded universe before all the prequels are those canon for you you know I that's another fandom I like pulled my foot off the like I'll see the movies but I'm not like well I've got to delete Thrawn out of my database like I live in a very casual way with that now but I liked I liked holding them I like the look of like okay this trilogy and this like that even if the book was weird i still was like well i still i'm gonna read it all i'm still gonna put it on the shelf like i liked finding it and having it as much as you know wow i was really hard so no hard wars like i was like on the star wars website so it's very kind of and i know all about

the novels that extended the universe and everything so it's hard to see the movies now because they've literally thrown that all out which is very confusing. Yeah. And I liked some of the choices they had made back then.

Me too. Yeah, all that. The kids. Yeah, the kids were great. The twins, Jaden and whatever. Yes, Jaden and whatever. Yeah. And now it's like

in, oh my God, what was the name of the last movie? Last Jedi. Last Jedi. You, spoiler alert,

if people haven't seen the last jedi you find out that ray has no familial connection to yeah yeah the skywalkers at all which is i guess was like their big reveal just so anticlimactic it's very uh it's uh the big sci-fi eighth grade all our stories are important and the point is you shouldn't just you shouldn't judge your own story if it doesn't match up to the ones on the big screen. It's true.

Bo Burnham, what's up? At me, follow me. That was the fucking best movie. I still haven't seen it. What? And he was a great interview at Vulture Fest. He was so nice.

He was a sweetheart. So sweet. Have you met him? No. Yeah, I know him a little bit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wait, oh no. I did want to ask you.

I want to ask really quickly have you you met R.L. Starr? That's what my question was too. No, no I haven't. What? He is at UCB. He's at UCB all the time. Really? He has done the monologues for ASCAD I think a couple times.

One time he did that show Nightly. He did Nightly. He hosts a nightly. They do a monthly late night show with a different host. Right, right, right. I've been there. I've been at UCB like several times when he's like rolling through and they're like preparing the green room and everything.

R.L. is a... He's a little comedy performer. I mean, that's all the more power to him, and I'm sure that would be delightful to meet him or see him on that stage. He's someone that I liked the lack of access I had to his persona, his process. I just was like, ooh, you're a spooky man. Where did these ideas come from

I bet you live in a weird like main Stephen King scary thing and just like I don't know my fingers won't stop typing and then to have him just be like

you know follow me on Myspace and like I'm doing a meet and greet and like very out and about like people that like

are into knowing Beverly Cleary is not who I'm thinking who's just like Judy Bloom that she's like on Twitter and like, yeah, we DM or whatever.

I'm just like, I don't interesting. I don't like that. She interacts. I know, but R.L. Stein put a statement out speaking about statements about who's gay and who's not. Oh God.

I, every spec pilot I've ever written. I, uh, years later sent all the production companies had gone out to a statement about who's gay and who's not. Just to let you know. Everyone you thought was gay wasn't.

I know this never went beyond the second draft and our meeting didn't go great, but I just like you to know that those two characters, they do end up getting married. They were gay. There was a great click hole thing. Whoever wrote it, a click hole was like,

um, cross crossing a line. And Jake Caroll has revealed that Daenerys has Crohn's disease yes she's like she's like making statements about characters not even

Daenerys oh fuck yeah yeah Crohn's disease Crohn's disease wait about R.L. Stine though cause okay

but he always had he peeled back somewhere even back in the day where at the end of each Goosebumps book he'd be like now and come

join the Goosebumps fan club like right like remember those pages like those little paragraphs for sure yeah yeah like he would always want he always where at the end of each Goosebumps book, he'd be like, now and come join the Goosebumps fan club. Like, right? Like, remember those pages? Like those little paragraphs? For sure, yeah, yeah. Like he would always want, he always,

he's always been this person who's like wanted to interact with the fans. Yeah, and I think like publishing as a thing pre-JK Rowling has always wanted, how do we get people like even more on the train of like, he was an early guy that had a website. Like if there had been social media,

it was like, you know, like there's a mailing list we'll send you a newsletter like you know they want that engagement i just like always had this thing of being like i don't i'm happy with the books and i don't look look new creators i'm down to find out more about them i'll stalk anybody's instagram like a weird like yeah director of a movie that i kind of like i'd be like oh i want to know about you know his life but for that stuff from childhood i'm like i don't i don't need to like now be your peer sure sure jk i wouldn't be his peer interesting like i never i never yeah i never i have never sought out information about jk rowling's life i'm a harry potter person uh-huh but

like whenever she's like has an interview like and they're like this is jk rowling's story i'm like i know her story her story is harry. So you don't watch the interview? No, I mean, I've watched the interview, but oftentimes- The one she does with Oprah is great. I did watch the one with Oprah. Yeah, yeah. Oprah one's great.

Did you like Harry Potter? You read Harry Potter? You know, I enjoyed Harry Potter. I love the Cormoran Strike novels. Oh. What's those? Those are- Robert, she wrote it under the suit.

Oh, right, right. Like, they are fantastic. It's better than the casual vacancy. It's, like, it is, like, truly great, great... Detective writing. Detective writing. Oh, shit. Sort of pulpy, but she's, like, a very, very, you know,

great literary writer. But they're straight, like, they're mysteries, but, like, super well done, very British. They're, like... And she, like, pumps them out almost... She's amazing. The first three were one a year, I think, in the midst of everything else.

She's putting a play out and writing a screen. Yeah, she's incredible. It's really like... There's some writing in the Harry Potter books that is stunning. Oh, yeah. When he dies and he's in King's Cross. The ghost of his last laugh still on his face

when Fred Weasley dies. And then just like the whole imagery around Cedric dying, like how sudden that felt. And like that just felt like she's good. The whole chapter

where he's dead at King's Cross with Dumbledore. Do you perfectly match up with the... My girlfriend's sister is the biggest Harry Potter. So is my girlfriend,

but the sister is the exact age each year was like I do perfectly match up you do I never even thought of that I was like oh my god

that must have been unbelievable to get that book every August or whatever legitimately and start 7th grade legitimately did you read it as they came out

yeah grew up with them but that's what was so weird about it it was like when the tone of the books changed, I almost didn't notice

because my kind of perception of the dramatic stakes was also changing. I felt like... And then you read them back and that first book is genuinely written at a different reading level. Totally. But they matched up for us towards the end

because the last one came out when we were seniors in high school. I think that you're right. Yeah. Yeah, because the first one I read in fourth grade and that would have been a little bit younger.

Totally. So they ended up matching towards the end and then like when the movies first came out that's when they matched. It was a weird When they cast the kids

as the actors they were the same age as me. They were the same age as us and it was crazy. And I remember reading like a casting breakdown or whatever it was like only looking I don reading a casting breakdown or whatever.

It was like, only looking... I don't know why this is coming out in British accent. Only looking for British actors. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was like heartbreaking. And my dad said to me, you know what? If you worked hard enough, you could be Harry Potter. I was like, I don't think they're checking for me, Dad. He's like, no, if you worked hard enough and you put your mind to it,

you would be Harry Potter. These casting guys, they're on your side. All they want to do is find a good tape. That's what they live for. They don't know what they want until they see it. But wait, now I do want to, before we got on, before we started the pod, we were having a really good conversation, you guys, about Mr. Holland's Opus. Oh, yeah, yeah.

And I want to share one thing. Well, one thing is my dad, we were watching Mr. Holland's opus, and there's the character of Rowena, who is the teen girl that Mr. Holland almost fucks. Yeah. He fully, and then he encourages her to move away to New York. Classic second act temptation of being like, you're a man with a kid and a wife.

Yes. And your responsibility isn't just, but you got this student. Yeah. Who's just like, I mean, she's got something in her eyes. I mean, there's a spark there. Named Rowena. Rowena. And when when she left the town my dad had a classic line which i only just recalled in this conversation before which was well let me tell you something i don't think she makes it because i don't know anybody out there named rowena and what's like

like is does he mean and he could mean both um both, that if the character had made it, she'd be famous? Be like, oh my God, this is Rowena from, or that she, in some weird time loop, the character makes it so big that people are now naming their children after the fictional, it's a weird world within a world. I don't know where his mind was existing at the time. I just remember he was like, well, she shouldn't have done that. Because let me tell you something, she didn't make it.

We don't hear anyone named Rowena. Like as if she was supposed to be like a Cher Madonna type. That is, no, that's a classic Rich Rogers quote. I cannot work out the logic of that. This is, I'm sure you guys don't watch this. I very much love the show Bosch. And it's based on these novels named Bosch. But in the novels originally, the character of Bosch is rich

because there was a Bosch TV show based on a case of his. So the TV show starts and he's got a Bosch poster in his house and you're kind of like, okay, so there's a different Bosch TV show in the TV universe. Yeah.

Okay, I get it. But another weird thing about the novels and they've sold, you know, a hundred million copies is the Lincoln lawyer is the half brother of bosh it's written by the same author they also made a movie of the lincoln lawyer with matthew mcconaughey yes i remember that and they they do overlap in some of the novels i guess i haven't read those but in a

recent bosh book i'm reading the book which is narrated by the actor who plays bosh an audiobook he calls his half brother mickey holler the lincoln lawyer and his half-brother, Mickey Holler, the Lincoln lawyer, and his half-brother answers, hey, little brother, all right, all right, all right. And then in the book it says, his brother has taken to doing a Matthew McConaughey impression after they made a movie based on him starring Matthew McConaughey. So in now the universe of the Bosch novels, there's the real Matthew McConaughey movie, but it's nonfiction.

It's nonfiction, and there's a Bosch TV show that's not this. It's like- And that, friends, is a Mobius strip. That's a true Mobius strip. And you know what that is also? It's in the Oceans franchise now,

where there's Julia Roberts exists in the Oceans universe, but Anne Hathaway doesn't. Right. But then, meanwhile, fucking Daphne Kluger does. But then it's all- Oh, my God.

Okay, so you're saying, because I haven't seen all the Oceans movies, Julia Roberts, the actress, exists in the Oceans universe. Yes. And Julia Roberts plays a character. The big twist of the second movie

is they keep referencing, talking about, I think her name is Trish or something. Tess, you're going to pose as Julia Roberts. But they keep saying that, being like, you know, what we could do, because Tess does,

and everyone keeps being like, she's not going to do it. No. And then they finally are like will you and they and you're like they must not be talking about this and then it's like they are so weird like Bruce Willis plays himself and like gives her

a hug it's like a whole because she happens to be her identical stranger it's like it's so because in any other movie where there are real celebrities in there you can like make some logical you can suspend some disbelief and say oh well every other celebrity except the actors who are

playing these people exist in this world the only thing that would have made Ocean's 8 better is if Anne Hathaway played Anne Hathaway I think it would have made it so much funnier and I already think that movie was great and huge and amazing for her like I think the public narrative on great and huge and amazing for her like I think I

think the public narrative on Anne Hathaway right now is like so positive which I'm down for because I like Anne Hathaway she also got to play the I've only seen half the movie I'm sorry two-thirds of it what the heck uh but she gets to play she gets to make fun of totally yes without having to be literal about it she's not so indulgent that she's playing Anne Hathaway as a big buffoon or yeah or whatever public event she's playing this like rightaway as a big buffoon or whatever public event she's playing this like fake version. It's perfect.

I think the way that the character was conceived and presented and performed would have been such a funny comment on Anne Hathaway. Totally.

I just think it's a little bit of a missed opportunity. Soderbergh would have taken that swing. I think. I think. Yeah. Sure, sure, sure. Gary, Gary.

Gary Ross. Cooper? Ross. Gary Ross. It's the Hunger Games guy. A little. Sure, sure, sure. Gary. Gary. Gary Ross. Cooper. Ross. Gary Ross. Yeah. It's the Hunger Games guy. Hunger Games. Yes, the Hunger Games guy.

How many carrots is it? Enough. Enough. It's very good. It's towards the end. Delicious. It's very good. Wait, we were having this conversation about movies that unfailingly make us cry.

Right. I was saying that Mr. Holland's Opus is one of two films that has a scene that I can access any time and make myself overcome. And it's not a movie that I'm like, well, it's the most important movie to me or the, and so my two, yes, were Mr. Like, like to win a fight with my girlfriend, you know, like a tool. Mr. Holland's Opus, when he, he discovers that his retirement ceremony is actually the first performance of his American Symphony and he stands and the curtain raises and it's all his former students grown up and he chokes up Richard Dreyfuss

yes good performance Oscar nominee and then Forrest Gump when at the end he meets Haley Joel Osment and he asks Robin Wright is he smart or is he stupid like and she's like he's one of the smartest boys in this class that's a really good one I'll say mine okay is the

culmination of big fish when the father is dying yeah and the son has to tell him a story yes and basically he just reveals that like they had this great adventure to take him back to the river and then when

they get to the river to put the father in the water so that he can be the big fish, all his family and friends were there waiting for him and cheering. And none of them were sad. They were all so happy to see you. Oh, my God. And just the music. I could think of it at any time.

If I want to cry, you can find me in my room listening to the big fish soundtrack. So a question about that, because I don't remember that scene perfectly. if I want to cry, you can find me in my room listening to the big fish soundtrack. So a question about that, because I don't remember that scene perfectly. Is anyone on camera crying? No. Cause that's my big thing. Like if,

uh, not that anytime I watch someone cry, I cry. But like in those two movies, it is like the first time you see those characters like buckle. Right. Like I was at a wedding this weekend and like looking at an aunt I've never met start to cry during vows

right kick into me like it's like laughter but getting laughter like I'm very social about it so it's interesting that your big fish has to be honest with you they weren't crying but they were very sure yes and I think there's a shot there's a shot of hell in the bottom Carter and she's like crying out of

happiness and I'm just like, honestly, I'll tell you what's doing it for me there. The thing that I'm keying into is the father-son thing. Oh, got it. Also, have you ever seen the movie? I often talk about this movie. Oh my God, why am I not able to think of it?

Who's in it? Keira Sedgwick, Robert Downey Jr. Sorry, sorry. Oh oh my god oh my god heart and soul heart and soul no i've never seen it heart and souls is one of the like sudsiest like soapy kind of movies it's like literally it's alfre woodard um tom sizemore uh uh kira sedgwick and some other actor so what's that guy from beethoven what's the scene this it's just the movie in general is like they they're in a bus accident and they die and their souls are latched on to a young child robert downey jr and he starts to see them around oh wait so this is, so this is super young Robert Downey Jr.? No, well, basically it's a child playing Robert Downey Jr.,

and then the parents start to realize that their kid's a little fucked up because he sees these ghosts, but they can't see them. So he's all weird, and the parents get divorced, and it's horrible. So he's got a whole crew of ghosts?

He's got a crew of ghosts that are attached to him, and they don't know why. And so they, when they say, we're kind of ruining this kid's life, we have don't know why and so they when they say we're kind of ruining this kid's life we have to leave him and so they make a conscious decision

to all at one time tell him we're gonna leave you and they're his best friends and this is the beginning of the movie so as they're all leaving him

one by one and Alfre Woodard is the last to go Alfre Alfre is the queen it's actually rule of culture number 44 Alfre Woodard is the queen it's actually rule of culture number 44 44 alfre is the queen

and they all leave and this kid this child actor is just crying weeping okay so every single time there's a crying there's one for me but you need to see oh my god it also has a elizabeth shoe isn't it and elizabeth yeah yeah it's really really really oh my god but and then so then ghosts go on from there it's about the so ghosts are then, they're able to see him, but he can't. So they essentially grow up with him. Oh, my God. Or they don't grow up with him. They're there as themselves, but he grows up into Robert Downey Jr. and becomes like

a douche. Oh, my God. And so then they appear to him again because they realize they need him to help them do their unfinished business. Oh, for sure. And then the movie gets going. It's a really good movie, you guys. Oh, that's great.

It's really good. And it's like weepy and like early 90s, like when they used to make movies like this. But Robert Downey Jr. is so good. There's a lot of good scenes of like the ghost taking over his body. So he'll like take on the characteristics of like Kira and Alfre and Tom Sizemore, who's like crazy. Such a bummer that if they were,

they were going to make that now it would have to be faith based. Like you just, you just can't. It would have to be like, you know, Catherine Hagel and like another TV actor. And it would just be like, why is it all the scenes in the daytime?

Yeah. People would, they'd make it more complicated. All the scenes are. Enjoy the movie as it exists in the vacuum that it currently exists is my recommendation. Wow. Do you have one of those movies, Bon? It's a weepy one for you.

Yeah, but we were saying this before off mic that they're not prestige-y films. No, they're not. They're very schmaltzy. Yes, but mine are so, so basic and it's fine, but without fail. And I did this before a scene where I had to cry. The fucking. Is this what got you there on high maintenance this is this was high maintenance this was um I was literally in the kitchen

I'll do it on the day I know I was like I'll do it on the day and then I fucking caught you was like what are you doing I was like I need to watch this clip this part in inside out when they're in the bottom of the pit and I was like and then and then it's Amy just like sobbing and being like don't't you remember when she used to do this thing?

Wow, that gave me chills. That part unfailingly makes me cry. And I don't cry at stuff. And then the other one is these are both Disney movies. Toy Story 2? No. Toy Story 2? When she loved me. It was great. But Mulan

at the end where she brings the sword and the metal she's like, father I brought you back this. And then he takes it, doesn't even look at it, throws it to the side, hugs her. God, parent stuff gets me. Yeah, and that's a parent stuff too. That's a parent thing too. And then the inside out thing is a childhood thing. So it's all, it's that. That's

what I'm working with. Oh my god. Very good ones. But they're both like super blockbuster Disney movies. Right. I mean, to be honest with you, those prestige movies that would make me cry,

they just kind of sit in my gut and make me very upset. They're heavy. They weigh you down. I just like sit with in my despair. Yeah, you walk out

like stunned or whatever. And I mean, I think Hollywood, it's a criticism of them, but they are like, they are willfully taking like narrative coding steps to manipulate you

in a way that I think artsy auteur people are like, well, I'm not gonna do that. I'm not gonna like have swelling music. I'm not gonna zoom in on a trembling lip.

I'm gonna play it truthful or cut away or let you think about it. It's like, sure, do that. But like the manipulation works for that if you wanna get people like tissues, you know. Also, it's a movie and whenever people like the manipulation works works for that if you want

to get people like yeah tissues you know also it's a movie and whenever people are like oh it's like yeah it's a movie like people like the early reviews of a star is born they're like it's a little like treacly at times i'm like yeah because it's a melodrama yeah like it's it's it's a musical and it's a reboot and it's it's a bunch of things and i will weep at that movie and the way that i will get my spirits back up is i will binge big mouth season two yes which will be premiering just minutes after we get home i'm sure oh my god oh my god i mean you know listen to it on the drive well in the footwell yeah in the footwell it's it's a it's not even a visual media television yeah yeah cartoons i mean it's just you come on they all look the same every frame needlessly needlessly um all right is it time i think it's time that's time for i don't think so honey so nervous this is our segment oh don't

be oh max we we kind of know what max's is but it's gonna be great it's gonna be one one for the books i have a concept but and i don't know what i'll say but i know how i feel okay i don't know my words but i do know my heart i don't know my words but i do my do know my heart okay great um this is matt rogers's i don't think so honey his time starts now i don't know what I'll say, but I know how I feel. Okay. I don't know my words, but I do know my heart. I don't know my words, but I do know my heart. Okay, great. This is Matt Rogers' I Don't Think So, Honey. His time starts now. I Don't Think So, Honey, Robin Wright. Oh.

Because I could smell it on you. Yeah. I could smell the Kevin Spacey apologism on you. When you said you didn't really know him when they asked you, you worked with him every single day, and now you're saying he deserves a second chance. Oh, wow. No, Kevin Spacey does not deserve a second chance.

Robin Wright, I'm sorry. Also, I don't think so, honey. I'm going to come for your performance as well. You kind of been doing the same thing for five seasons. You're very good at sitting stone-faced and receiving information coldly. You are one of the best in the biz but honey nah also look you're not doing much more to lift the material up

from where it's been for the past three seasons which is not that good 15 seconds house of cards I don't think so honey you died with Bo Willimon I am absolutely not watching this last season now that you've said what you said I don't think so honey please tell victims of assault that they are not as worthy as kevin spacey of a second chance and

that is one their lives are ruined it doesn't matter wow i could i could smell it on her oh my god for months before it came this like her thing of her saying i think everyone can be rehabilitated and should be given a second chance. Well that was your first I could smell She said that. No she did not She was very tight lipped about the whole thing and never came out with a statement and then she got a lot of praise for like being the one to

spearhead the fact that like the show was gonna continue people were gonna lose their jobs but she could have done all that and said all that without saying that Kevin Spacey can be rehabilitated, deserve a second chance. Go ahead and think that on your own time. Don't make a public statement about it.

Absolutely. Honey. Honey. Don't bring that opinion to the table at the cellar. No. Come on. And you, you know that Robin White has been trying to get,

Robin's been trying to go out and do a set. She's been trying to go out. Yeah. Wow. No, that was no fun. Just because, just because we gave you a little bit of props

for being part of a scene that tugs at the ear, the tear ducts of one Max Silvestri does not mean you're getting off Scott free in this episode of Last Code of Reason.

That's Robin Wright. You're just a tool. Robin Wrong. You're just a tool to Max. Somebody tweeted, how about Robin Wrong? And I was like, I mean,

I don't think so, honey, that tweet. Yeah. But they weren't wrong. They weren't wrong in that tweet. I was a I mean I don't think so honey that tweet yeah but they weren't wrong they weren't wrong in that tweet I was a fan of her early work on the show no she's not growing and changing and evolving I mean I'll watch the new

season but like you think you will you're gonna watch it I am I'm genuinely curious because it's not that far away yeah and it will be the first mass product with like mass money behind it that is trying to, you know,

it's not going to be a poochy thing. It's not going to be like minute one. They're just like the bus just hit them. And then they just don't talk about it. It's going to somehow be enmeshed in it. And like, not that I think that show is pitch perfect. I've always found it very like bingeable,

but I'm like, how are you, how are you guys going to try to stick this landing? Like putting aside, oh, we're trying to save jobs or it was her story anyway. I'm very curious

and how people accept like, I'm, the rationale. I don't want to just read the headline. Yeah, you want to see it. So far it's just been, you know,

and I so often have just, it's been easy to just be like, well, I didn't care about that person's work so I don't need context on the bad thing they did. I'm happy to put them in a bucket but this, I'm just like, how are you going to just be like, well, I didn't care about that person's work, so I don't need context on the bad thing they did. I'm happy to put them in a bucket. Um,

but this, I'm just like, how are you going to do it? Prediction car bomb. Oh, but there's, see, I think there's no way.

I think it's like gun in the mouth. I think there's no way that they can make the character a hero without like awkwardly, if they make them a martyr in the show, it's going to conflatelate mourning Kevin Spacey, Kevin Spacey's character with mourning Kevin Spacey, the actor's career. It's weird.

Like it's gonna have to be like something terrible comes out, like murder Suey or whatever. And just like everyone tried, like I think they're gonna do a meta swing where it's like them trying to cover up what he did to just like keep the country. I don't know. That's me being optimistic about it's a huge opportunity yeah huge opportunity to kill the man

to yeah to figure out the way anyway without lying i mean i think we there's those scenes in movies where uh someone's on top of the train and then they look up and their head gets snapped off right there's like that like i think i think you could have a sort of satisfying dennis hopper phil seymour hoffman just take the top of the head off. Right, love that. I think you could have a sort of satisfying Dennis Hopper, Phil Seymour Hoffman just take the top of the head off. Do you think with that crazy accent he does, it would feel right for an anvil to come follow him? I feel like that actually would feel right.

Wow. He's doing barbershop quartet at a reunion of the military academy and the anchor on top of the school kills him. Yeah. She is just Yosemite Sam. He is. Why did we,

yeah, anyway. Okay, this is Bowen Yang's I Don't Think So Honey. His time starts now. I Don't Think So Honey, Joe Biden.

Oh, shit. You know what? All these tapes are coming out from 1991 during the Anita Hill, during the Anita Hill stuff

and I didn't, I didn't follow this obviously because it wasn't, but like, he's asking her some like bullshit questions and like he was supposedly the good guy on the judiciary committee back then and like that because then like mano did this thing last night where she like cuts between him and arlen specter and arlen's a full monster and yeah he's he's being awful but then

like 30 seconds but then you google old if you google joe biden old photos you see like the ones where everyone's like oh swoon joe biden is bae but then they're the ones where he's just has some shit-eating grin next to clarence thomas like whatever like it's just i don't know joe's joe's great sudi's gonna kill me when she hears this who cares delaware and sudi green but um if she stands for joe biden in the election i'm gonna freak out continue god but like i don't know like it's all the cd to hell stuff is like really upsetting me and like oh my god if you go everyone should read her uh op-ed today in the new york times it's fantastic and that's one minute you know this definitely doesn't help him yeah it's not good look. It's not cute stuff that's coming out. Yeah, I don't think he survives.

No. Correctly, like critical rethinking of like, the buddy-buddy, we're all different sides of the same. It was slimy and collegiate and you put up and smiled at a lot of gross stuff in a way that maybe you thought you didn't have to judge it,

but guess what? No. And then you let through some fucking sexual assailant into the supreme court already did you see confirmation the hbl movie with carrie washington where she now but literally today after after i read this anita hill thing i was like i have to watch everyone should watch that movie it's a really good reminder did she win an emmy for that or no she was nominated she did not she was nominated yeah but you know who else is in it

jennifer hudson as the woman who also was allegedly assaulted by Clarence Thomas or he made advances on and they don't allow her to testify which people also don't understand is that there was more than one woman that was willing to come forward

and they kept her in a room and told her you're going to testify and hours and hours and hours went by. Watch the movie. Jennifer Hudson plays that character. I forget who plays Biden. But... Greg Kinnear.

No, yeah, Greg Kinnear. I think you might be right. Really? Yeah. Kinnear books. Kinnear books. Section rule of culture number 103. Kinnear books.

Okay, it's time for Max Silvestri's I Don't Think So, Honey. I'm very excited. This is going to be really good. Okay. Okay, go. No, no, no. This is Matt.

You call it off. This is Max Silvestri's I Don't Think So, Honey. And his time starts now. I Don't Think So, Honey. Honey. okay okay go no no no this is matt you call it off this is max silvestris i don't think so honey and his time starts now i don't think so honey honey you taste weird you are annoying sugar you are sugar that refuses to own a tv you are sugar on rollerblades trying to explain to a group of girls at a party what inception was about congrats you figured out how to make tea worse you are bumblebee shit. You answer the question, what would it

taste like to felch maple syrup out of Jeff Goldblum in The Fly? Also, I don't think so, honey. You are not healthy. That is some debunked 80s Newsweek cover story Snackwell shit. You are for people on a diet who also move their lips when they read.

You are agave for British grandmas with dementia. You are sweetener for basic people. How dare you get served at a restaurant? You are brie cheese. You are sun-dried tomatoes. You are spinach-flavored wraps. You are an egg white omelet with a scoop of cottage cheese in the middle.

You're a sticky thigh master covered in flies. You make kids look at Winnie the Pooh's asshole. I don't think so, honey. And that's one minute, and it's gotta be one of the best ones. One of the best ever. You know what? You are single-handedly changing the way we attack this on the podcast. We have to come in

with good ones from now on. We do. This was a slay. This was a slay. And I can tell you know it was a slay. I can see it in your eyes. The athlete is coming out. I'm like trying to catch my breath. You was a slay. This was a slay. And I can tell you know it was a slay. I can see it in your eyes. Max, you're proud. The athlete is coming out. I'm like trying to catch my breath. You look like Serena. You look like Serena.

But victorious. I don't shoot to win. I'd rather lose. Max Silvestri. Max Silvestri. Wow. Thanks, guys. That was a slay.

That was amazing. But I will say this. I like honey. It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. No, no, no.

I don't. I mean, that was not. This is not me. I just wanted to be clear that this was not like a meta joke writing exercise where i was like i don't think so honey honey how can i i don't like honey honey it's ruined like root like i've lost security deposits in more than one apartment because of some shitty thing of honey i bought for a recipe that fell over on the pantry that like takes the pain out like it is always annoying to me wow i never thought about what it can do to a home.

Yeah. Clover honey, whatever plain honey is bullshit, I understand everyone maxes reservations with honey. Manuka honey from New Zealand, it's not from a comb. It's from the manuka flower. It's still bumblebee shit. How do you eat it? Okay, I literally eat it from a spoon.

You're disgusting. No, not because I like the taste. There are kids that listen to this. Not because I like the taste, but because- it from a spoon. You're disgusting. No, not because I like the taste. There are kids that listen to this. Not because I like the taste, but because... A lot of kids. Literally, I've been getting sick all year, like once a month. You really have. But any time over the summer when I felt a tickle in my throat,

would take a scoop of Manuka honey, and the next day would feel fine. It's just, it's medicinal. It's not homeopathic. It's not any of that bullshit, but it's like, oh, there's just like literal antibiotics. Soothing. It's soothing. No, it's not even that. It's like there's stuff in it. There's stuff in it, because it's like, oh, this is, there's just like literal antibiotics. It's soothing. No, it's not even that.

It's like there's, there's stuff. There's stuff in it because it's a lot. Cause manuka is like alive. It's flour. Exactly. Right. Exactly. See, like it also tastes like me to being forced to drink lemon honey.

Like when I was like sick as a kid, just being like, no, no, you have to have lemon and honey and stop making me drink this shit. It tastes like medicine. I understand that. But manuka honey might be sort of not of not the gateway, but an exception. Look, I'm willing to. There's so much to explore. There's so much to explore.

I'm willing to open my mind. Okay, good. Thank you, Max. Open your mouth and open your mind. Open your mouth and open your mind. Your big mouth, that is. Oh, my God. Zing, zing, zing.

Zing, zing, zing. That was one of the goats. One of the goats. Greatest of all times. Absolutely. Thank you, Max. I was guessing at what goat meant. Yeah.

Yeah. And I'm really proud of myself. You should be so proud. You're the athletes here, guys. This is huge. Max, this is such a pleasure. This is so fun. And you are only the third straight man to ever have been on the fourth.

Really? What? Fourth. Tim Platt, Billy Domino, John Gabrus, and finally- Sorry, Billy. I forgot. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You guys are true like American

Canadian treasures wow you have the most sterling reputation among peers friends and fans that like I have ever encountered

people love you you know what we're gonna have to award you the icon ally of the year ally of the year you take it away from who do we give it to John Gabrus sorry Gabe oh sorry my love game brother no he doesn't need it he

doesn't need it um Wow this is fantastic please check out his comedy lineup special on Netflix big mouth on Netflix October 5th yes and I'm very excited to say that we're going to be ending this episode right now with, of course, a song. Yes. Which is the theme from A Star is Born. And for the rest of that song. You go see the film. Go see the film.

Bye. October 5th. Bye. Forever. Dog. This has been a Forever Dog production. Executive produced by Brett Boehm, Joe Cilio, and Alex Ramsey. For more original podcasts, please visit foreverdogpodcasts.com

and subscribe to our shows on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Keep up with the latest Forever Dog news by following us on Twitter and Instagram at Forever Dog Team and liking our page on Facebook. I'm Julian Edelman. I'm Rob Gronkowski. And we are super excited to tell you about our new show, Dudes on Dudes. We're spilling all the behind scene stories, crazy details, and honestly just having a blast talking football. Every week we're discussing our favorite players of all times, from

legends to our buddies to current stars. We're finally answering the age-old question, what kind of dudes are these dudes? We're gonna find out, Jules. New episodes drop every Thursday during the NFL season. Listen to Dudes on Dudes on the iHeartRadio app,

Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, I'm Jay Shetty, and I'm the host of On Purpose. My latest episode is with Jelly Roll. This episode is one of the most honest and raw interviews I've ever had. We go deep into Jelly Roll's life story from being in and out of prison from the age of 13 to being one of today's biggest artists. I was a desperate delusional dreamer. Be a delusional dreamer. Just don't be a desperate delusional dreamer. Listen to On Purpose with Jay Shetty on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Trust me, you won't want to miss this one. On Thanksgiving Day, 1999, five-year-old Cuban boy Elian Gonzalez was found off the coast of Florida. And the question was, should the boy go back to his father in Cuba? Mr. Gonzalez wanted to go home and he wanted to take his son with him. Or stay with his relatives in Miami. Imagine that your mother died trying to get you to freedom. Listen to Chess Peace, the Elian Gonzalez story on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Sheryl Swoops. And I'm Tarika Foster-Brasby. And on our new podcast, we're talking about the real obstacles women face day to day.

Because no matter who you are, there are levels to what we experience as women. And T and I have no problem going there. Listen to Levels to This with Cheryl Swoops and Tarika Foster-Brasby, an iHeart Women's Sports production in partnership with Deep Blue Sports and Entertainment. You can find us on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Presented by Capital One, founding partner of iHeart Women's Sports.