Las Culturistas with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang - "ChuckleHut 3000 on the Corner of Butt and Ass" (w/ Sarah Sherman)

Episode Date: February 4, 2026

There's a tonnage of laughter on this one as Sarah Sherman is back! Her special, Live + In The Flesh is streaming on HBO Max, so the child has popped by a get blackout drunk on about four sips of Martini and get through almost a whole a hand of topics. You will have several Big Osaka Laughs and be Sent Boots as a result of your listening experience. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Oh, I see. Wow. Bowen, look over there. Wow. Is that culture? Oh, my goodness. Wow. Las cultureistas.

Ding dong. Las Coulteristas calling. Familia pizza is back. Yeah. Yeah. Remember the familiar pizza on 8th Street? Is it painful to remember it? I guess that's what nostalgia is, right?

Looking back in sort of pain, remembrance and more. there's so many examples of that in that area of New York. I don't go down there that much. So you don't miss the Vapiano like I do. Well, there's Vapiano in all over Europe. That's true. And I think parts of Japan. You were just in Japan.

You were just in Japan. Our guest was not. Yeah. She was invited. Well, immediately when I saw the guest, I was like, have you ever been to Japan? And it's the most purpose. She collapsed into a puddle on the ground. I was like, I have FOMO.

And I was like, I have FOMO. I was like, I'm just letting you know that's for good reason because you would have thrived and more there. Am I allowed to speak? No. If you speak. You can speak. If you speak. I love that turn on if I speak.

Because can I say one of the great expressions is if I speak. Would you like to say something? I would like to say something. Okay. Why don't we just bring her in? You can watch her HBO special. Her truly artful. I would call it a masterpiece.

It's Pewee-Cronenberg, which I want to talk about with you. Peewee-Kronenberg is a front-runner. Front-Rondon. It's Frann Drescher. It's Borch-Belt. It's everything that is good about the world and comedy and art. And that is what I put into this person. I guess you can watch her on Saturday Night Live as well.

I guess. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. This is my impression of our guest in this most recent episode. Tazan, I have your feel ready. That was good. I would love to walk through the accent there. I was coached. You were coached.

Everyone, she's my coach in life. Everyone welcome. Sarah Sherman. Coach. Get off the bench, girl, and get on the field. Get on the field, girl. What do you want to say? What do you want to say?

I want to say something. I, as someone who's speaking of the experience of having been a Jewish person, having been an all-will-all-ins- of being a Jewish person. Someone who has the experience of speaking of the experience of Jewish. I have never really been anywhere that wasn't like for work. What do you mean? Like, where have I ever gone that wasn't like, I have the show?

You've been on vacation. You've not done like a big trip? When was my trip? When would my trip have been? I guess this is when your trip would have been. This is what my trip would have been. Literally, unless I'm doing a show at like the Chuckle Hut 3,000 on like the corner of like Button ass. I'm not going there.

Chucklehut 3,000 on the corner of buttoned ass. That's the title of that. You know what we were talking about actually, when we were there, we were talking about how Osaka is actually the comedy city. And the difference between, we were talking about the difference between, or our tour guard was saying, the difference between a laugh in Kyoto and a laugh in Osaka is this. In Kyoto, they're like, that's funny. Demyor.

And Osaka, they do what's called a big. Oh, Saka laugh like this. And I said that is Sarah's your city. You are Osaka down. I've started to get like really self-conscious at table read with my head thrown back in laughter cackle because now that I don't have my sister across the table. Because he's a big one.

He has a big osoccal left. I know. Well, you and I were matching volume, which your welcome table. You're welcome table. You're welcome table. We were always supporting. And it's not perform. It's not performative.

I worry people think it's performative now that I'm alone in the castle. No, stop. So they've already forgotten, Bowen. Colin texted me week one, post hiatus. He was like, whoa, table was really weird without you. It's really weird. You do have like a big energy, a boyster. And one of the things I love most about you is you're not shy.

It makes me feel good. It's now you're not shy at all about sharing your laughter. You're big Bowen-Yang. Osaka. Bello, big Osaka laugh. Big Osaka laugh. And when you did it, you went, ha, ha, ha, ha. Yeah, I was sort of giving like.

Havanaeguila. Like victorious, you say Avonagila. I say victorious villain. It's really made me, why do I throw my head back? And cackle. It's easier to open your mouth that way. Try doing it like this. Girl, don't get you any idea.

Way harder to open your mouth with your chin on your neck. It's actually a little culture number at nine. Way harder to open your mouth with your chin on your neck. Well, I'm trying to think about sucking somebody off like this. Sarah. What's your favorite laugh among your friends? I was like you're saying, who's your favorite person to suck off? Dan.

You are my favorite laugh and I'm going to say why and this is about me and making it about myself. No, you're just recently biased. I, the greatest catharsis of my life was provided to me by one Mr. Boen Osaka Yang When I'm like Literally five seconds before my HBO comedy special premiere I'm going

Why would I do this? I'm like why would I get 200 people In a room I know I know So watch Our stand-up comedy special Just just see like 200 people

Not laugh And it's just me You know whatever So and you know famously I have maybe one martini and I'm blackout to the stars. I was actually wondering if we should get blackout for this. No right.

Yeah. But yeah, no, sure. And we could probably get something in here. Guys, no. Let's get some martinis delivered. I had, I. There is champagne like around. No, no.

It's not, let's do it. No, here's my problem. No, we can't. We can't because last night I was taken down by a grain of salt. Let's let's get them. Let's get them in. Let's get them in. No worries about.

Fly them in whenever. Open the door. I don't care. Thank you guys. Love you. This is true dedication. And honestly, I believe that they're going to come through. I know. Can I say peek behind the curtain?

I know her at home as the woman who she's a huge power player here. Yeah. She ran in during the Ariana Grande episode because I believe your shoulder was an Ariana shot. And she said, she said, I don't care what's happening. I'm running in there because we have something to fix. Fixed it. And we're grateful for it.

Well, thank God somebody's a professional. She's getting martinis in here. Thank God someone's a professional. I was going to tell you when you were like, what do you want to talk about today? I was like, I have something really big to tell you. What is it? I was realizing that my constitution is so sensitive that I literally was psychically taken down last night by a grain of salt. What are you talking about this more?

And when I say talk about this point, I mean explain it in a way that anyone can understand. What is it? No one knows this. If I have like in my lips like rust against a martini glass I'm 89 she's To the way I'm 89 It's like it's like twister It's like a cow getting picked up by the sisters

Has it always been like that or is this something in Yeah I'll say it are approaching middle age We couldn't possibly be we're oldest we're old as father time How old are you? Do you share that information? Yes I didn't. 32. But not a day over 26. You're three years younger than us.

You're still young. But doesn't it, can someone tell me, I don't look a day over 28? You look, you are ageless and timeless. You don't want to tell her? She wants to hear that she looks young. There you go. I won't open my eyes until someone says I. You just played Jane in a Tarzan sketch.

One of the youngest girls. You looked amazing in that little, And that little dread. Where was my waist? Couldn't find it. You looked amazing. I, you know, that was like... A fight.

It was like, Sarah had to go to Sarah acting school for that. What do you mean? Tazan. They literally, they wrote a joke in the sketch that was like, what part of... Your accent's bad. He says, right, right, right. Your accent's bad. I'm right, right.

In front of your accent. Uh-huh. Yeah. What part of the... of England are you from Long Island? And I go, well, egg on everyone's face. I'm going to an accent coach.

And I went. And she went, you're struggling with your OS sounds. I'm struggling with my OSAT. Cause that table, I was like, Tarzan, Torzanne, dinner's ready. When it doesn't come out of the mouth. You were down at the rodeo first. Damn, I, fuck.

What were you going to say? A grain of salt took you down. You want to go back to Taza and Taza? Do you want to go to Grain of Saul? Let me go to Green of Saul because I feel. Wait, let's close this through. Just so everyone knows, the last time Sarah was here, which was about a year ago, the day of Trump's second inauguration. It was the day of my daughter's wedding.

The day my daughter's wedding was one of the happiest days of my life somehow because you were there. And because our listeners have described that episode as only a series of thought starters. We never finished a single loop that was open. You know what? And I'm going to out him right now. Jack Benzinger, love. Daughter of the Pard.

I can just say stuff. Daughter of the Pard. What's anyone going to say? We need Jack Benzinger on the show. I don't think we've ever met. He's the best angel. Would we have a good time? Yes.

Unbelievable. Okay, okay. You know what I was thinking? Because the song Illegal by Pink Panther's came on and I thought of you too. Because that your jam. Because me, Sarah, and Jack were writing a sketch once. And then we kept pitching jokes that we were like, is this okay to say? And then Jack's,

led the charge by you're always going, it feels illegal. Hey, ooh. By the way, since you've gone, my laugh percentage has dropped. What do you mean your laugh percentage, like that you receive? Like laughs per minute. What's it, what's baseball

terms? My laughs per minute? I guess it would be batting average. Batting average of laughing. I'm just, I'm laughing less. Can I ask you a question? Do you follow baseball? Why are you accusing me of something like that? I want to ask. Because I wear hats.

sometimes. Sarah, don't make this confrontational. I'm just, I'm putting a thought started out there. And if you, like, just ask, do you watch baseball? Do you follow it? Do you know what a good batting average is? Well, no, so this is what I didn't understand. Yes. Because it's like if I'm batting 100 that's bad, even though it sounds good. If you're, if, well, what you want to do is bad a thousand. If you're batting a thousand, it would mean you never didn't get a hit. And you want to know what a good average is, like anything over 300 is like a good average. So baseball play, If they get one hit out of every three at bats, they're considered an incredible hitter.

Oh, so I'm amazing at SNL. Exactly. That's why I wanted to say that. Title of that, exactly. That's why I wanted to say that. Exactly. That's why I wanted to say that. Amazing at SNL title of it.

Three things. You're, you're laughing. Jack, hold on, you're laughing less. A grain of salt took you down. Oh, yeah. We have to talk about the special, which is then I can, special watching you catharsis. Okay.

Grain of salt, Constitution, and then which brings us all the way back to Tarzan. And I have to add, you also wanted to talk about how you watched Justin Bieber's Grammy's performance three times. Right. Okay. But not the rest of the Grammys. Right. Because there's something there. Oh, and this is connected to grain of salt.

Great. So basically last night. We have a whole hand of topics. Right. So as I was saying, Bowen knows that if alcohol touches my lips for 1.4 or five seconds, I'm, like, medically incapacitated and can't move. You know this? I do. And so something now I, so last night I ate a burrito and I've realized that I can be completely overpowered psychically by too much salt.

Yeah. People don't realize this. This is. No, this is a real thing. Salt will get you. What? Have you heard of Greta's party chips giving? Yes.

Yeah. So I ate this really salty burrito, fabulous burrito. Where from? Doesn't matter. Right. Keep going. I'm sorry. I just don't know how much I want to take.

them down because I don't want to let them know where Sarah gets her burritos because then she'll get mobbed. Then the place will become too popular. I just think that they do a fabulous job and I don't want them to think just because I was taken down by a burrito. It's not I'm doing, I'm not doing a negative. Right, right, right. Forget I asked. I had a salty burrito with some chips. I'm not kidding. The salts took over my mind completely. It was. Just poured us out? Yes. Yes. It was last of us?

I was experiencing like salt psychosis. You became you started a hive mind with the salt. It was like pluribus. It was pluribus. It was pluribus. But wait, describe what's happening next. I was like, I was so like salted out and I was like, oh. Salted out.

What are you? What is this mean? What are you experiencing? What are the thought? So like. Did you have, go into like. diabetic shock. Like, what was it?

My whole body gets swollen. You know when you're like really bloated and swollen from Jerusalem? Yeah. And so then I was like, I ate this like huge burritos. I'm exhausted. So I was like, go to lie down to pass out. I had a big day today. Might as well get my sleep.

Yeah. And I was so dehydrated to the marrow that I couldn't like fall asleep. I was so tired from this giant burrito. And I was like the, I was like the, I was like, Like, I was literally like, eh. The crimkeeper. Yeah. Yeah.

But so tired. Couldn't keep my eyes open. And like, and there was just like a, it was a, does that make sense the kind of psychos? And I can feel the salt like in my blood and skin. Have you ever seen the movie seven? No. You haven't seen that movie? You know what's interesting?

Many movies I haven't seen. There's a part in it where like they find like a dead body in a room and like it's like it's like a decomposed body. and all of a sudden it just goes, and it comes to life, and I was, because it's, it's been kept a lot.

The crew knows because all these, all these dudes. These are dudes that have seen the film seven, all of them. Like, I got to tell you, like our crew, you can't see them.

It's so seven. And that's how I would best describe them. They've seen, they love David Fincher's films. Well, I didn't want to say, wait, is it Night of Living Dead?

I'm going to mess this up. It's one of those. There's like a, there's a completely dehydrated corpse that goes, just kill me. So basically, that was what it was doing. It's like, it's like coming to life, but like begging for death. And I think it does die. But that is how I pictured you after your burrito.

No, I was literally rocking back and forth going like, begging for death. And sleep and speaking. I have to do lost cold. And I don't want to drink too much water because then how can you sleep when you have to pee? No, of course. Of course. So then I was like, take out my phone. Of course. I'm only human. Take out my phone. What is the first thing that's shown to me on phone, Justin Bieber in his underwear. Yeah. And I don't know. It brought you to life.

I hysterically sobbing uncontrolled. It was a great performance. And I just felt really moved by it. Yeah. And I don't know. I feel like we've seen him since child. Yeah. And a lot has gone on with him.

And I go, at the end of the day, you can't take away talent. No, you cannot. That's talent. That's talent He was literally stripped everything away And he just gave us

Youcon And know what's funny Like we were like Oh Melissa and I were like Futsting around the apartment Being like Oh yeah he's probably gonna come out And do

You can And then he did It's amazing when you do it It's a great song Jimmy Neutron Yeah the words Jimmy Neutron Like making an appearance there I didn't

You 100% did girl Okay And then... Oh, so I'm just realizing, like, I can black out from a martini. I can also salt out from a small chip and burrito. Well, we're going to see what happens today. Was it the chip or was it the burrito? Well, then it was just...

It's just salt tonnage can send you into... And I find that I'm very suggestible to music. Salt tonnage. This is... The word tonnage, by the way, is very... Tunnage. We've got a tonnage of dark humor in the show. Well, right.

It's like the producers' big. So there's a lot of, like, boob tonnage. A lot of people wrote sketches. Honey, I know. Honey, I know. I've been carrying these things around for days. I've got boob ounces. For days.

I've been carrying these things around for days. Like she got new tits and came to do work that week. You've worn a breastplate. And I have liked what I've seen. Honey, I'll take you at any size. You're one of the most beautiful women to ever live. Do you understand? This is up for debate.

This is quite up for. The fact that it's even up for debate is huge, by the way. So many people. Beauty is not being debated. It's either like, yeah, we see it or it's like, no, it's not being, it's not being debated. To be in the conversation, girl, take the win. I just had a room full of men. Do I look 28 and everyone literally looked at their phone like, I'm just getting a call.

Yeah, because at that point we hadn't brought up David Fincher's filmography yet. They weren't activated. Now they know they're safe here. They're excited. What do we think? 27. 27. 24.

I'm going to close my eyes. That's my new thing. I'm just going to close my eyes. Is that how you're difficult at S&L? When a sketch comes in, you don't like, I'm just going to close my eyes. You're the least difficult. No, I did a diva move.

What was your diva move? Today? We're not at work. You're not at work. I went. What I interpret as like acting Jewishly, I think can often be interpreted as like being difficult. Sure.

Because I'm just saying what I'm thinking, which is to be Jewish. You externalize and then people think, oh, they're yelling at, me. And meanwhile, you're just like, I'm the same way. Are you working it out? Right. Exactly. Yeah. And you were working it out. I was working it out. I was working out. I was working out in the remix. They were like, I was, listen, am I on time every single day in my life? 100%. Well, who is? Oh, I mean, yeah. Yes, she is.

You were, you were punctual. Support it. So bad. And no matter what you say, I'm going to be like, yes. Literally. Yes. You know what I think about every day. Put your weapons down. No. Put your Put your weapons down. I was...

I'm really letting peek behind the actors. Yeah, I'll share a diva moment with you. I... I was having a bad day. And I go, you know what? I deserve the most expensive smoothie I can find. Yes. I want someone to Google this smoothie.

It has ingredients no one's ever seen before. Okay. I just wanted to go... What's the smoothie? It's... I can't even say it out. See, I can't... Oh, is it can't?

Okay, I see, I see. It's just... Is it named after a starlet? It's named after a large amount of money. The name of the smoothie is like, ha-ha, it's expensive. Oh, okay, because I thought similar to Justin Bieber, I thought you're talking about the Haley Bieber smoothie, which I get frequently in L.A.

Which is just a jizzy milkshake, by the way. Yum me. It's got a college in a room. It's got a college in New York. No, they're not. Yes, no, they are. We got sent a sample. Oh.

It's my splurge. It's my splurge. My splurge is, is, That smoothie. Is it good food for you or is it a milk chicken? Doesn't matter. It's a really good shape. There's collagen in it.

I don't like when they do the jizz on the side. They do the cummy splashes on the side. Don't shiver. Cummy is in. I was saying Cool Ranch chips taste cummy. Cummy has always been around. I get feet from Cool Ranch. I get stinky feet.

Oh, interesting. Interesting. It's kind of like a cilantro soap. You either get like calm or feet. Come or feet. Now, you got this smooth. Right. I go, I deserve this. Seriously, I deserve this. It's the craziest. It's got, it has rice and coconut meat and MCT oil in it. So who did you treat in a diva way to get this? I go, and I buy it myself. I go, oh, I deserve it. So thick. You can't even sip it with a straw. You have to eat it with a spoon. Yeah. So I deserve. They go, Sarah, actually, the schedule has changed. You need to leave the building now and go do this, go do a pre-tape. And I said, hey, y'all. I'm going my smoothies eight minutes away.

It's got to wait. Let's give me eight minutes. And did it come on time? They go, you gotta go right now. I go, hey, hey, hey. Hey, hey. I literally kind of went, guy. Like I said like, guys, guys, seriously, guys,

guys, give me eight minutes. It's gonna be here and eight. I'm showing you that's reasonable. This is not diva behavior. This is my one meal break. The schedule has been changed unbeknownst to me. And no, that's totally fair. And I went, hey, like I raise my voice.

And I went, guys, guys, guys. And I kind of went like, please, let me wait for the smoothie, please. And they went, we'll have someone take the smoothie there. And I go, it'll be kind of warm. Okay. So what happened? How did this wrap up? And then they, I relented.

You relented? And they brought me my warm smoothie. Was it not what you wanted? And it was basically like, so then it came. at that eight minute mark, but I was already uptown. And then they then had a, in turn, had to bring me the show. Oh, see. And that sucks. I went, guys, it's warm and coming now.

And then get me another smoothie. And I was like, can I just get it? I go, I paid for that with my own money. And can I ask, when you got there, was it like, oh, thank God we rushed because we're starting right away? Do you think that's what happened? No, not at all. Can I say?

It was redundant. It was rhetorical. It was redundant rhetorical. I got the warm smoothie in there like, we'll get you another smoothie. They ordered me another smoothie. I have to go back to the studio before the other smoothie gets there. So at this point, how much money has been spent? $15,000.

A community college tuition? Whole paycheck. Skip the whole food's joking. Is it fair if I share my TV moment, which I. which I pulled my last week. I told you this. Did I witness it with mine eyes? No.

Careful, here comes the press. I told you about it. Here comes the press. I told you about it. Tarzan, Tarzan. Hot off the press. Your bees, what was it? Your bugs and...

Dinner's ready. I made your favorite. Bugs with mud sauce. See? Really good. Vowels are incredible. Thanks with mud sauce. Thank you, bone.

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Pride. Pride. Feel it all year long. Let's go. With IHart Pride Canada. In the middle of the night, Sasquia awoke in a haze. Her husband, Mike, was on his laptop. What was on his screen would change Saskia's life forever. I said, I need you to tell me exactly what you're doing.

And immediately, the mask came off. You're supposed to be safe. That's your home. That's your husband. to keep this secret for so many years. He's like a seasoned pro. This is a story about the end of a marriage, but it's also the story of one woman

who was done living in the dark. You're a dangerous person who prays on vulnerable and trusting people. Your creditor might go up and good. Listen to Betrayal Season 5 on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. What if mind control is real?

If you could control the behavior of anybody around you, what kind of life would you have? Can you hypnotically persuade someone to buy a car? When you look at your car, you're going to become overwhelmed with such good feelings. Can you hypnotize someone into sleeping with you? I gave her some suggestions to be sexually aroused. Can you get someone to join your cult? NLP was used on me to access my subconscious. NLP, aka neurolinguistic programming, is a blend of,

of hypnosis, linguistics, and psychology. Fans say it's like finally getting a user manual for your brain. It's about engineering consciousness. Mind Games is the story of NLP. It's crazy cast of disciples and the fake doctor who invented it at a new age commune and sold it to guys in suits. He stood trial for murder and got acquitted. The biggest mind game of all, NLP, might actually work.

This is wild. Listen to Mind Games on the e-games. IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. So I was on the set of the Home Alone sketch. Oh, I didn't witness this. Oh, I'm locked. And I was, I was in my costume for, I want to say like, just in like, in my wig and like the glasses and stuff. And it's like not comfortable. No. And so I mean that costume. That went right up the grunge. Yes. Oh, I had suspenders. And so I get there like 8 a.m.

and then it's like 6 p.m. That's... And like they still haven't, like, called me. And I, like, I've been needed. And, like, I need... And, like, my studio call time's getting pushed and whatever. And I was just antsy. And I was just, like, obviously, like, emotional

because it was my last week. Last week. This is Friday. The day before the last show. That is crazy. And I just logistically had shit to do. I had, like, thank you gifts. I had cards.

Like, I was, like, writing. I was just, like, getting over to everything together. I got a really good thinking. I'm no way. And then... It was just so egregious that, that like our wonderful,

wonderful great producer Dina comes in to like check in on me and apologize and I go Dina I love you guys

seriously no no no this is why I did I was like I've never ever done this before and I don't think I ever will again

they have three takes and that was that I was like they have three takes and I'm out I mean and also it's like if you have to

if you have to do it more than three takes exactly yay no that That's a magic lucky number, three takes. Honey. You know what? That's not bad.

It's not bad, but it was like, I was like, I'm being a bitch, but like this is, this is what has to happen. This is what has to happen. Because things are needing to be done. And what diva moment have you had? I'm kind of sweetheart. I'm kind of America's sweetheart. As everyone knows. I'm going to get you this smoothie right now.

I'm going to put it in the microwave. So it's the boiling hot temperature that I drink it at. I'm going to let it. sit for 48 to 63 minutes. I'm going to let you have two steps of it. And then I'm going to take it away. I'm going to say, how would you behave? Okay, fine.

I'll, I will share. I will share when I have diva moments, it's when something is happening that is, that is patently ridiculous. And I'm on a Zoom. Because, like, on a Zoom, it's like, it can get away from you. Right.

Because, like, you're talking. And then all of a sudden, like, people are, like, receiving it on the Zoom. And, like, you're kind of keep going. You're like, well, I'm in a simulation. So anything I say is just going to like get like... Exactly. It doesn't feel real. But like, no. And then I'm like, oh, God.

And then I've gotten off maybe like two or three Zooms in my like career and been like, oh, I don't like the way I acted. And I'll text our manager. And I'll be like, was that crazy? And our manager will just go, it was strong. It was strong. It was strong. But here's a thing.

But I would never be that way if it wasn't like... Sometimes you're pushed into a position where you have to, you must have to, you must Be strong. Well, it's like, I experienced some of it, like, when I was working on one project where it was just like, oh, okay, it's become clear to me that because everyone hates their job, they're not excited about doing it. And I was like, okay, listen, I understand that that's the reality, but like, I mean, probably anyone can can understand this. Like, when you go to work and people don't feel valued at their job or they don't feel paid enough or they don't feel good. the entire atmosphere suffers. That was like something about Tokyo that I really loved.

It was like everyone was just like... Had health insurance and was happy. Yeah, I mean, they were in service of what they were doing and they were all like passionate enough about what they were doing because they're passionate about, they're all just like passionate about what they do. Whatever. So when that's not the case in America. I feel like a lot of workplaces are miserable.

Yeah. And it, you know, it's contagious. And then you come in there being like, hey, I'm excited about this. Right. And you're met with, like, dead energy, and that's frustrating. Right. Because we'd at least like to try and enjoy our lives. I think, like, at the base of, like, much of the misery we're talking about is, like, at the core of the American enterprise, there's a rot.

So any time. Say more. Anytime we have bad behavior at work. It's because there's the, there's the poltergeist energy that we've built this country on. The poltergeist energy. energy being like material things are not being met on like a baseline level. People are struggling universally and I didn't get a meal break and my my smoothie was eight minutes away and then sometimes you're going to be expressing yourself.

You're going to be express. You're going to be strong. You're going to be having to be strong. Having been Jewish. But does the problem? Like having been, if I was like a little more famous, I think it would be like fabulous. but it's kind of just like What the fuck are you?

This woman? This crazy person. There's a woman acting strangely strongly. You had the number two special on HBO. No, I would, let's be frank. The number two movie. Let's be frank. Oh my God.

Yes, and you put it in, in coops? This is crazy. What alcohol is this? Do you guys just have a stash? Tita. Perfect. Oh, my.

My god. Where'd you get the odds? This is crazy. And they have these cute little napkins. Ena, thank you so much. Thank you. Oh my God. This is incredible.

This is amazing. Thank you so much. Sephora napkins. Wow, yours is full. Cheers. To being strong. To being strong. Cheers to being strong.

Wait, and they're cold. Can you? It's stirred, not shaken. We're getting blackout. Oh, yeah. Because these are strong. Oh, I'm blackout. What do you have to do tonight?

Literally nothing That's good Well no and I told you my weak constitution I'm gonna I'm gonna have to go on in a stretcher What did we get So that's one We know about your smoothie

And we know about your diva moment at work So what was else on the five This is great you guys This is really good This is really good Thank you I'm starving so I'm not taking the olives lightly Oh I had

Westville today It was good They had a loaded big potato sandwich? No, not sandwich. Soup. Oh. I got confused. Soup and sandwich. I confused soup for a sandwich. He had one sip and he's going to do it. In the words of the great Brooke Ashley.

You are crazier than a soup sandwich. Who is that? She's a housewife. She's a housewife. She's fantastic. She's the best in the biz. She's the best in the biz. I've been championing her for probably going on four years ago. And I get, I literally sometimes will watch her YouTube subscriber account grow and grow and grow. And I I feel like I'm a part of something.

Yes. You are. You can sometimes see me pop into her lives. Hi, Matt. Thanks for the super chat, Matt. I'm always there. Do you know about the, the Shannon Bador phrase

that I'm actually trying to get going? Oh, yeah. You all see the truth. You will all see the truth. I've been saying it many times this month. You will all see the truth. Now tell everybody. Oh, you guys are icons.

Thank you, legends. You cons. Tell it, tell at the end of an issue. about this moment of Shannon Bador screaming at a restaurant. You are pointing... In a home. In a home, I'm sorry. You all see the truth.

It's like about Heather Dubrow. It's about Heather Dubrow. She's crazy and you will all see. You will all see the truth. We need your housewives' takes. Like, well, first of all, what do you think of Candacellard Bassett as a traitor? I have something really crazy to say.

I bet you do. Three sips in. I, the center of traitors is not holding for me. Okay, just talk about it. I'm struggling with reality television competition shows. Okay, it's not your favorite. Where you know I've said this before. Yes.

The whole show is this person's acting. Evil. You're being evil. They're losing the plot. It's like, it is like, It's like an emotional intelligence game. Yeah. With...

Where the reality is so juvenile. And it's just about whether or not someone's acting a little strangely. 100%. That's really what it is. But meanwhile, some would argue the most evil people to come from that show are the faithfuls. Right. Because right. Because this season, it's Colton being a little.

being a little villainous. He's just come on a little strong. So when you watch the show, and are you watching the show? I had to put my weapon down because I was like, just, just, just, just let me so for real right now. This person, they must have an alliance because their housewives or there's no alliances. We're in a competition.

You're all deciding whether or not someone's acting a little odd or weird. And I don't want to see people out in the mud. Can I just want to say something? Can I just want to say something? Can I just want to say something? We need to drop the word alliances from reality TV, but also just from general, unless it's like diplomatic or it's an airline group. I don't want to hear that word uttered. And we're actually post-aliance on, we're post-alliance culture on reality shows anyway because now if you stick in an alliance for too long, you're literally cooked.

Right. Like one person wins. Like the game on Survivor is all about like, oh, are you in an alliance? How are you secretly not? Right. That's literally the way you win Survivor now is, don't worry, I'm in an alliance with you. Turn to camera.

I'm also in every other alliance, wink. And it's like, well, how? Then what is, then. Then alliances don't mean anything. Are you, you're, you've never been a survivor girl, have you? I've never been a girl besides Real Housewives. Watch Survivor 50 with us. Okay.

That would be fun. That would be fun. That would be fun. And watch Australia versus the world. Is Richard still in the news? Richard Hatch. It's Richard. I think now he is.

Entertainment Weekly is going to pull this. I remember him being like, for me. His Google alert is going crazy at the time of his area. Sarah Sherman questions whether or not Richard Hatch is in the news. He was just really major at the same. And I got my, it's like him and then I got my period during Poe Bice on American Idol. I can't be drinking a martini. No, Beau is back in the news.

Now Bo's back. Sarah Sherman got period during Bo Bice performance on American Idol season before. So it's like him. Achieved. And it's like Richard Hatch like sexual awakening. So I'm like he's major to me. That's like the most of the match was your sexual awakening? I didn't remember seeing him on TV and being like noted.

My eyes appealed. Sarah's type is like. The crazy naked gay guy in a tree. But Sarah's type is just middle age dirtbag. Work. Yes, ma'am. Yes, and. Oh, does he have a wart?

Hello. Honey, if he has a wart, is crazy acting like a nutball up in a tree, and is he gay? Chuching! The sound of my pussy cash register opening for business. I'd like to leave a really big help review for this restaurant. The cash register was a pussy. Oh, God. You should have seen what.

When you ladies were outside the room, we had a long talk and we really broke through with the guys on the crew because we found out they all love David Fincher's films. Aren't they all giving that in a complimentary way? I would not. I love these guys. You guys are in a uniform today too.

Look at you were in the black tops and blue jeans. Guys often are. No offense. Bluntstone. No offense. Guys be wearing blenstones. What is Blenstone? Bluntstone. You're so gay. You don't even know.

know about Blenstone. I know. Look at, look at this. I got this in, um, on Osaka, actually. That's, it's like a Pendleton. It's really lovely. It's stunning. You're stunning the two of you. I'm black out. Are you blackout? I'm like, full blackout. No, how could that be? I will finish it for Yama tank. Okay. I am. But Sarah drunk is something I rarely ever got to see. Okay, so let's do it. Because no. Well, how about when I got blackout in an after party? quite recently and I woke up being like time for my apology tour woke up message from Brady

Lee's you should have two martinis all the time I go apology tour over apologies were over you find out the anxiety was just hang awesome so what awesome she was getting awesome swath last night on the after party

I feel like I had a really coherent cogent thought you always do biting critique of chargers that is actually like dissolved between my people. Okay, so you're saying it's a game about emotional intelligence. Yeah, but I had something interesting to say about that that couldn't mean anything to be anymore. Well, it's a game about emotional intelligence and yet it is intellectually like a farce. It's like it's like, well, how are we?

Well, it's like someone's acting evil because they were a traitor. It's like we're all acting evil and deceitful. We're human beings. Maybe the masks have come off and actually traitors is one of the most important pieces of. I'll get back into it. I think it might be more of that. It's more that. Michael Rappaport is sending me boots.

See, this is what I have... Talk about my... This won't make the news. Entertainment Weekly, Sarah Sherman claims to be sent boots by Michael Rappaport's performance on the traders. Craze is Michael Rappaport as boots. As sending her boots.

Now, what about this terrible human being? Something has happened in the culture, where we go like, we can't platform these people anymore. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, we must. I would agree with you. To be honest with you, I'm like, if you look back at like the last 20, 30, who do we remember the most vile people?

Right. It's important. Also, like, Spencer Pratt is like president of the United States at this point. I'm sorry. You turn on the news, Spencer Pratt. Spencer Pratt did great on Celebrity Weekest Link. See what I'm saying? Like what?

And of course. It's both What? I want a supermodus singer Every day of my life. Olmo Rosa was president She was president of the United States. She was.

For like two years. And she still is to the day. Will you talk about Unless you don't want to? No, please. Why is Michael Rappapaport sending you boo? So I was like, I can't possibly be watching traders.

I have stuff to do. I'm a busy woman. might not be famous but I'm a woman and I'm busy so why is this woman complaining about her smoothie blackout losing the thread where is it? Hello

Mike Ravenport setting you boots and then I open Twitter.com and I see your first mistake and by the way but Bowen knows I was saying this earlier my Twitter

yeah what I've done there was to me the viral news of the I screenshot Texas to Bonin's less. I go, did you guys see this? Paul Giamani wants to be in the new Texas chainsaw. And they were like,

cool. Above the fold news. We've been seeing something else in our algorithms. And I'm like, you guys, you've seen this. I'm like, no. But that was like, that was, what was the? I followed this guy and shout out to him. Shouts out. Shouts out.

Shouts out to him. He's always posting covers of old paperback books with naked women on them. I'm going, that's what I'm seeing. Doesn't you're seeing? Always cease to amazing. See, I am so interested in changing what my algorithm is or like not having one at all, but it does take a long time. Like, I, it is interesting, though, how quickly they get very good at you being like, oh, I have to click on that. Well, Justin Bieber penetrated my veil.

Justin Bere penetrated your veil He penetrated your salt psychosis And like I'm opening Twitter He saved you Trained to show me like You'll never believe what When this person replaced their eyes With ping pong balls

What happened? Or this old This 89 year old woman They found 18 contacts in each of her eyes Like that's like my viral news But Justin Bber penetrated it And I went Now what's this?

He could be your doctor He could feel your disease You love that song I do that's my favorite She wrote a 9-inch nail song She did She's amazing And one of her eyes was bloody

Huh eyes are coming up We'll talk about that in therapy later Are you still with that young young and dream With that psychologist? No I have a different sort of youngian Lacanian kind of Wow That's the psychology that you're taking

I'm in this Are you really? Yeah yeah yeah And I'm going and over the window overlooks like a billboard across the street so I'll be like this and then all of a sudden I'm like I'm staring at despicable me too right now

talking about like Despicable me too I can't believe sometimes what posters are still up in the subway oh that's crazy it's amazing it's amazing it's really good it's amazing amazing it's cool amazing now now riddle me this yeah Lacanian from the name Lacanne

yeah many people are saying Many people are sick. What is this? It's just like, isn't it so interesting how we... Yeah, it's literally like he would do this thing. Podiatrist or podiatric. It's like, why do we shift the emphasis? Depends on how many sheets they are deep.

I'll shift the emphasis anywhere. I gotta tell you, look how far I am already. I gotta catch up. What'd you say? You're a tank. I'm a full tank. Oh, but I open Twitter and I'm going, I'm seeing Michael Rapabor eat out of the bowl.

Yeah, yeah. In that, the way he was, did you see that? Yeah. What bowl? He was eating out of a bowl, like, pressing the bowl to his lip and, like, shoveling the food in. Like a... Let's say it. Like a cave woman.

And I go, guess I'm going to be having to watch Traders again. Based on Michael Rappaport. Sarah Sherman is the one person in the world that saw MacRabort on Trader and was like, I'm in. Can I tell you something? I'm hooked on this. But thank God. Because that answers the question, why is he cast? Because there's people like you watching that are like,

I want to see the nastiest human behavior. Oh my God, an adult human being was eating out of a bowl. Like an upright dog. He was going like this with the ball and I go, I'll throw my hat in the ring. But then I'm watching people who are going, you're acting quite suspiciously. I'm like, enough.

A fucking no. What do you mean? Oh, and this is my other problem. They're like, he's so good at the gameplay. You mean he's a good liar and deceitful? Yeah. Oh, what you're talking about Rob? Well, I'm just saying, like, in general, like, that's always the conversation with these shows is like, well, we ought to get this guy out because he's an amazing game player.

You mean he's a good liar? Right, right. Like, what are we talking about here? I think that there are assumptions being made on behalf of a lot of the cast members that because of their experience on shows where you lie, deceit, and more that you are going to be doing. that on this program and they get a little stopped up with that when clearly the traders are Lisa Rina, Kana Stillard Bassett, and the guy

from Love Island in an overall She looks unbelievable. She looks incredible. Can I just say? Lisa Rina? Toast to this is a toast to Lisa Rina. You deserve this, Mama. You deserve this. You really are. And I love the way that they all, when she got

voted out, they were like, she's a legend. She's an icon. Like, it was so great. Annoyingly, Colton was like, she's a legend, she's an icon, but then two breaths before was like, I've never seen housewives. Well, it's like, then you don't understand the legendaryness. He may know her from her many projects.

From Veronica Mars? I think he may know her from showing up to the rooms wearing a cheetah fedora and going, well, I'm glad. She's an icon. She's an icon, she's a legend. She and I, it does nothing for you that Candace Dillard. Bassett is back on television? Yeah, come on. I guess it does. No, I'll get back into it.

I just, you know, my, my problem was I go, where's the line here? What's, what line? What are you, what are you talking about? Like, you're acting, you're acting evil and deceitful. It's like, we all, guys, guys, this is, guy, guys, this is a show. I don't take, like, evil lightly. You need. So the fact, that this is frivolous evil to you is unacceptable. It's like you wake up every morning

and you look at the news and you're like, well, this is just, I can't believe it. So then when evil is entertainment, you're like, this is just, glad y'all are having fun because I live in the real world where there's real stakes. So I certainly don't need to hear about murder, treachery,

all under the guise of glamour. Fuck you. You're sweating. You're laugh sweating. How dare you? Big Oslof, laugh sweat. Wait. I'm blackout. I think I know the cure. I know the cure for you.

Yeah. Celebrity Traders UK. Okay. Where the She's in. Okay. The concede there is Claudia Winkleman like Who? She's the host.

You're going to be obsessed. You're going to be obsessed. Sarah Winkleman. Sarah Winkleman. It's a me. She. A Winkleman in time. During Oprah, she commits to this so hard to, like, evil as a foot in a way that you will enjoy because it's like so cranked up. Like, Alan does it in his, like, amazing way with Alon.

Claudia does it in a way where she's like, the traitors have murdered again. It's very grounded. Wow. What are you not seeing? Open your eyes. The traitors are laughing at you. I can hear them laughing.

I can hear them laughing. You're not losing the threat of like whether or not people are actually being killed. They killed Tom Daly, who was an Olympic diver. And then she goes, he won gold for this country. Is there not enough? And it's, you know, she knows it's fucking stupid. Right. But she's so sending it.

My favorite, I guess, see, I'm back in because my favorite is when they like go to sleep in the castle that night. And then it's a moniker. Yeah, no, the montages are great. Every Lenovo is built to, let them go. Let them work and rework. Let them animate. A dinosaur. No, a toaster.

No, a hamster and a jetpack. Fun! Let them put golden wings on a dog. Good boy. Let them color correct. Anywhere and everywhere. Let them make. Powered by Intel Core Ultra processors,

Lenovo gives creatives everything they need. Lenovo.com. Let creatives create. The station that says bold, vibrant and diverse as you are. Iheart Pride Canada. From dance anthems to pop icons and hits from 2S-LGBQ Plus Canadian artists. It's the soundtrack that keeps life loud and proud. Just ask your smart speaker to play IHartPride Canada.

Stream us on your phone or listen now at IHartRadio.ca. Come together, celebrate love. Pride. Feel it all year long. Let's go. With IHart Pride Canada. In the middle of the night, Sasquia awoke in a haze. Her husband, Mike, was on his laptop.

What was on his screen would change Saskia's life forever. I said, I need you to tell me exactly what you're doing. And immediately, the mask came off. You're supposed to be safe. That's your home. That's your husband. to keep this secret for so many years. He's like a seasoned pro.

This is a story about the end of a marriage, but it's also the story of one woman who was done living in the dark. You're a dangerous person who prays unvulnerable and trusting people. You're a creditor, Michael Levin Good. Listen to Betrayal Season 5 on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. What if mind control is real?

If you could control the behavior of anybody around you, what kind of life would you have? Can you hypnotically persuade someone to buy a car? When you look at your car, you're going to become overwhelmed with such good feelings. Can you hypnotize someone into sleeping with you? I gave her some suggestions to be sexually aroused. Can you get someone to join your cult? NLP was used on me to access my subconscious. NLP, aka neurolinguistic programming, is a blend of,

of hypnosis, linguistics, and psychology. Fans say it's like finally getting a user manual for your brain. It's about engineering consciousness. Mind Games is the story of NLP. It's crazy cast of disciples and the fake doctor who invented it at a new age commune and sold it to guys in suits. He stood trial for murder and got acquitted. The biggest mind game of all, NLP might actually work.

This is wild. Listen to Mind Games on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Okay. Alan Cumming. No, no, S. Everyone always thinks there's an S. Because you should, you would hope he's Cummings plural times. You would hope.

I'm sure he is. I'm sure he has absolutely no problem relieving himself as much as he wants. I'm too blackout. No. You had a thimble of your martini. I weigh 61 pounds. Do you know what that's like on a woman of my comport? You know what a woman is like in a woman of my comport?

How much do you think this 27-year-old weighs? Men in the room, how much do you think she weighs? Not a pound. This is a dangerous question. No, no, no, no. Everyone do it. As she shows up her Caroline's on Broadway outfit. It really is.

Is that? Oh my God, girl. You got Caroline's on Broadway. RIP. Is it RIP? It's been dead. You're kidding me. It's been gone.

It's gone the way of Vapiano and the familiali. I know. New York is Jesus Christ. Put the image here. Everything is changing in New York. Now, that's the martini conversation. Everything's changing in New York. No, by the way.

That I have a lot to say about that as well. About New York. Wait, but this isn't now a new finger on the hand. Oh, yeah. But say this first. We even go to closing the loops, though. HBO, salt. Justin Bieber.

Got that. Got that. Justin. Good night. Good night. Good night and good luck. Good night. Good luck.

Traders. I was going to talk about the catharsis that you allowed me to have. We're not doing this. We are doing this. So I'm going, I'm going, I'm a fool to do a premiere for a stand-up special where we're all just looking at me. Oh, no. Yeah. Oh, no, whatever.

So, and then my tunnel vision starts smolening and I'm going, oh, no, oh, no. It's like all my fucking coworkers are there. This is like humiliating, whatever. Who love you? Who love you? Who adore you. I go to the bar. I go, I'll take whatever you got.

And you know me. Can't handle a thimble. Can handle a thumbull. They do a theme drink for you? Yes, of course. Who I looked like some sort of peasant? I had a beehive with eyeballs. They put eyeball gummies and the drinks was so cute.

Thanks to the Metrograph. Thanks HBO. Oh, that's great. Cute. Yeah, so cute. Take three, I take a whole drink to the face and then they go, you have to like go introduce it. I'm blackout. I'm at a little podium.

The worst. So my hysterical cry sounds like an hysterical woman. In an institution with her rubber grip socks on laughing like the Joker. And were you crying? I was, I come out there, I really go like, it was adorable. I lock eyes with Bowen. I sit right behind him.

It starts. I go, this is the worst mistake of my life. My mouth on the screen opened to speak. Bowen. Yeah, of course he did. Wait, which is the laughter? Big Osaka laugh. Big Osaka laugh.

I'm right behind him. I see his head thrown back. See his head thrown back. going back. He loves you. Do you know, do you know how much he loves you? He loves you so much. Like, I don't ever hear him talk about anyone. Like he talks about you. He loves you so much. He thinks you are number one. He's been saying it forever. It only intensifies with time. It is like, and I was like, you know what, Bowen, not, not seeing Bowen every day at work will be okay because we're friends outside of work. And the job is so stressful.

Like, you shouldn't, like, have all your friends at your work. Like, I come into work like, I have been sorely mistaken. It's horrible. I look up at Table Read, trying to meet his gaze. I go, there's no bone. It is a whole. It was a comfort for me to see you across the way. Every time.

I was a fool to think not see him. you every day. I'm like, oh, I'm not going to see him every day. I'll see him. I'll see him. Every, the comfort of seeing someone you love every day. I know. That's family. That's Famiglia pizza. That's classical Italian. Like, for that to be ripped away so suddenly. And then for you to be wiped off the face of the planet because you were in Japan. Right. Dude, God knows what. It was, that's, that is my love. But the catharsis of being right behind him, his big Osaka laugh, throwing his head back. That, because it's so scary to put anything out.

Of course. And you, Sarah, it was perfect. That was healing. Because I was like, scared. Like, oh, this special is going to come out. And spoiler alert, my pussy's out. My pussy's out, y'all. My pussy, my asshole.

Everything's out. It's the culmination. To see the head and to hear the big Osaka laugh, You provided me the medicine I needed badly. But I was just emotional. And when I'm emotional, I tend to laugh, I guess. I just laugh. Yeah, me too.

I'm an easy laugh. Yes. Oh, yeah, when you were sobbing. You're a laughter whore. I'm a laughter whore. But I was watching like the full culmination of like Chicago, Sarah, S&L, Sarah, like, touring Sarah. Oh, my God.

And wait, another finger raised. tracking your ass on Find My? Oh my God. I open. I have to follow you. It's so fun. She's at a strip mall and Lincoln, Nebraska. It's like, what's that girl doing there?

I was like, what's that girl? Wait, I love it. I love to track my friends and when you find one that that's like off the grid. Do you remember when Bowen was in China? That was crazy. I don't, see, I didn't get into the Find Mine. We didn't start following. We didn't start following each other until later.

Because honestly, my whole bit was like, I don't want people to know. Not my bit. My reality was, because you're acting evil and suss. But we already live in the surveillance state. Kalantir already knows our like, no, no,

the people we have sex with. That's literally so true. And the fact is also, by the way, like, I think it's important to be able to find your friends now. Like,

because, yes, yes, because. Thank you, surveillance state. And I don't know if he knows this. Do you remember when,

because I have Marcello's location on, of course, but you got a new phone. Time to update. Marcello. You didn't download your ICloud backup. Thanks, Marcello. Because now I think you're always where you're not.

Remember when I opened my fine mind and I go, guys, I guess this is peek behind the actor's studio. I go, Marcelo's at a hospital, guys. And you remember I was, I texted you and I was like, Michelle's at a hospital. What ended up happening that day? He was doing for the children. Of course. I was going to say it's something like truly like.

It was like he was meeting the children and giving them a smile. Oh, that's just like. Art throb stuff. But sometimes fine, Mike, can go so wrong. Where you go, oh,

they're in the hospital. Whoa, can I say something? I got drunk. And ended up at the hospital. No, right now. No, now.

In the moment, I realized I didn't eat enough to have this today. Because you're olive. The truth is, I got about halfway through my Westville lunch and realized,

Brussels sprouts? Why was that, order. That's the whole thing of Westville. It's like, it's like, I'll say hipster cafeteria. And I know hipsters a slur now. Are you both drunk? I'm blackout.

I'm not. I'm not. I don't think I am yet. Can I say something? Please, can I say? If I speak. The special Sarah Squirm live in the flesh, now streaming on HBO. Period. If you you need to watch it. It is

easily my favorite stand-up special ever. It is the culmination of Chicago, Sarah, S&L Sarah, touring Sarah, but it is like, you see the Helltrap nightmare.

You see all of it come to this beautiful crystal, like, fucking so beautiful. It is art. I'm like, just fucking watch it.

Just fucking watch. No, I'll end it with Celeste and I are just like, well, this is mostly Celestine, but they're like, if I think about me at 16 years old, if I was 16 years old now,

I'd be fucking obsessed with you in a way that like I would put posters studio on my wall. Probably that is true. Strange children. Come one, come on. Yeah, but like, thank God that the strange, weird kids like have a fucking

girlie. You know what's so funny? I was like complaining to that about this. I'll like post a like a, I'm like, oh yeah, like stand up clips on Instagram. Those go viral. And so I'll post like a clip. like a clip of standup from my special and it'll get like 400 likes.

No, it's never what you want that goes viral. Let's be clear. It's never like the shining moment that gets grabbed. Of course that. And I'm like the flirt, record scratch, what's going on here? And then like. The flirt. Record scratch.

What's going to be like? Yeah. Like, what did you think when you were making this special? You thought like everyone was going to like it? I was like, yeah. Because I didn't consider that. You know what, though? Things should be.

Things should be. Oh, hey, girl. When did you get here? She's been here. You have? Yeah, yeah. Bye. Bye.

Is our producer Anna. Why? I don't understand. Oh, well, that's cool. Is the Super Bowl tomorrow? You all are going to the Super Bowl? Tomorrow, Sunday. We should talk about Bad Bunny.

Let's talk about Bad Bunny. Hello. Hello. Bad Bunny. Is that your guys' friend? Like, could you consider him a friend? This is my problem. What go?

Every time a celebrity is nice to me at my job. I go like, we're friends now. So it's like, I'll say on camera, bad bunny, pretty sure we're close personal friends. I'll see him at my wedding. Because he is always so kind. He's like the kindest person. The kindest person. I understand.

I'm with you because it's like with these hosts, it's like, and especially because With Benito, it's like, we were with you, you were with us, when all of us have been very vulnerable being like, what the hell are we doing on Saturday? Right. It's like everyone's like, we're in free fall. And then we're not sure if the net is even going to show up until the show happened. Yeah, you guys have like a trauma bond together,

which is a week at that job, which is like all y'all putting together all your effort and everything and putting forth all your ideas. And then do you see how drunk I got? Is that it? So drunk. Like, all y'all. I said all y'all.

All y'all really y'all. If you make eye contact with me, I go, oh, this just in, we're bonded for life. We are mated for life. Avatar. Avatar. I still haven't seen the third one, fire and F. I would love to.

I would love to be. Should we go tonight? I would love to go in 3D. I don't think there's any other way to go. I don't picture you in a 3D movie without you. You don't? Ripping off the glasses going. I can't see.

This is my problem. Oh, I got my prescription update. I can see now. Get this. My problems I can't see her here. So we went for an eye test in Tokyo. Free eye exams. Free eye exams in Tokyo.

And people were happy to do it. I am near-sighted. What, no, what could that mean? Because is it like... I think there's a definition. Well, here's my thing. When my mom would go to the supermarket. that mean.

My mom would go to the supermarket. She would go, I couldn't remember if you either, you love Cheez-Itz-It's. Are you-hated? She was like, I couldn't remember, did she love Cheez-It or did she hate that? It's like with Near-Sited. It's like, can you see near? Or can you not see near? The answer is you can see closer.

Because you are near-sighted. It's in the name. It's in the words as it were. It's in the name. It's either it's it's or the not it. To Sarah. And so should I buy them. I'm going to guess that you love them.

Absolutely 100%. Okay, great. Really? It's a dairy product. And do you know? She'll shit for them. No, thank you. Thank you for highlighting this.

Because I just want to say, people are, she's complaining about a smoothie. I go, I have a struggle. I go, I have a struggle. I love what anyone who goes, I go. I go, I have a struggle. This is a moment where Matt Rogers would use the word, your diaspora, which is not totally correct, but it applies. I thought for a long time the word diaspora meant struggle. Like my diaspora is.

Not too narratively connected. Becca, stop it. Oh, stop someone from laughing. Oh, no, stop someone from judging. You had your moment last week. Becca was an iconic gun. I wonder if the mic is picking up my stomach going like, because I'm more drinking poison.

My stomach's reacting. If you can't finish that, I will have the rest of it because I'm telling you right now. I am so powerless against one drink because if it's one, it's got to be three. Like that's why I can't really drink at all. Because if it's one, it's got to be three. Zootie Green says whenever I sit down, I take a sip in my first cocktail and I go, ooh, I'm going to have three of those. Is that a Long Island thing?

If you like something, you go, ooh, I like that. I'm going to have three of those. Well, for me, it's, well, I've had an eighth of it. Might as well be done. I get, I'll say. If you don't want that, I will have it. Well, I've had an eighth of it. I don't think you're going to finish it.

No, because I'm, the amount of sheets I am to the wind, it's like, I just wasted a whole rheim of paper. 89. Wait, sheets in the wind. Are we talking about sheets of paper or, like, bedroom? I think I always pictured as sheets of linen, like a bedding on a clothes line. I have no idea the etymology of that. It's three sheets to the wind.

Well, the clothes line is about. The length of the Mississippi River. One thing you're going to do is eat your olive though. Yep, there you go. Bottoms up, babe. So the reason why you're drunk is because you had soup, you had soup for lunch. No, I actually had a soup and I had salmon and I had about half the Brussels sprouts that they gave. And then thank you so much.

I am going to finish hers. I'll take your olives. Oh, God. Do you guys want to know the origin of the expression? Yeah. Okay. It is for sailing. It originates from sailing where sheets are the ropes that control the sales position.

Yes. If there are three sheets are loose in the wind, it sails flat. Causing the vessel to lurch and become uncontrolled. Oh. Okay, so it's a sailing thing, y'all. I'm rolling my damn head. Can you think of anything more stressful and somehow

more boring than sailing? I think that's what we need. Stress and boredom? No, you're right. We need to be a drift at sea for 30 calendar days. Should we go on below deck? We can. We can.

Whenever you guys want, they're shooting it right now. Should we leave? Let's go. Well, first of all, I'd be full Angie K. I'd be having full. I'd have no equilibrium and I'd have, who had the diarrhea? It was. They all did.

Angie K. Angie K was throwing up and all that. Angie K was throwing up and her nail came off basically. And she ran into that house sort of like butler. Girl, I can. can be taken down by a grain of salt. I can be taken down by a sip of a martini. You think I can handle a boat.

Well, how do you do on a roller coaster? That is that? That sounds like a lot of fun. Well, I was on a roller coaster. I would be like, ooh. Okay. I guess I like that. Yeah, for sure.

I think woo is a positive. I haven't been on a roller coaster since I'm a child. Oh my God. We just did them. Wait, can I say? Can I say? Oh, yeah. This actually was something that healed me in a way that I desperately

needed. So we were in Osaka. Went to Universal Studios. Laughing town. And two things happened. So we were with a group of people that... Because you're addicted to these places. Rollercoaster zones. Rollercoaster zones.

We like to go to a theme park sometimes. And also we're probably not going to like frequent theme parks if we go to Japan. So we were there. So we went to Tokyo Disney Sea. And we went to Universal Studios Osaka. Which I'm going to say on record right now. my favorite universal park that I've ever been to. Guys.

Here's why. It had a great mix of things. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you so much. The first thing we did, well, blah,

blah, we do like all the Nintendo stuff, whatever. Bowen and I were the only ones that wanted to do a roller coaster that was this intense. It was called the Flying Dinosaur. It was a Jurassic Park roller coaster

and you fly. Like literally, how would you describe it? You get in the, you get in vertically on your two feet as it were. The rest comes down. Then there's a moment where the hinge above you starts to go

and then you are on your belly. And you fly on your belly. You go up, up, up, up. As if you're a teradactyl. Like a teradactyl. And that's the whole bit as a pterodactyl is pulling you. Just stay home smoke crack. It doesn't have to be this complicated.

Honey, why not? You're on your two feet, then you're on your stomach. And there's a whole... Just say how I'm smoke crack. Far less complicated. The carbon footprint is smaller. Honey. Just stay home and smoke crack.

There's carbon and crack. Don't get it twisted. It's an organic compound. Don't get it twisted. Tea boots. Tea boots. Anyway, it was amazing. It was unbelievable.

We were screaming. It was so fucking cold. We were like screaming in the wind. It's so much bigger than you could ever imagine. then we went on the Jaws Ride. Oh, wow. Okay. The Jaws ride.

This is the last Jaws ride, full-blown Jaws ride in any universal park in the world. Practical effects and animatronics. You're right. I love it. You're right. And what you need to understand is that this was in many ways. I know I've said it a few times about a few different things on this podcast.

In so many ways, it was the culture that made me say culture was for me when I was a kid. Going to Universal. When I was like seven or eight years old, the Jaws movie, yes, but also like going on the ride and seeing like going like a mechanical shark attack in the boat, like seeing the blood in the water. At one point a fucking huge gas tank explodes.

Like there's an actor on the boat screaming, committed, firing a gun. That's in... That's the ride. That's the ride. And literally the last one you can ever do at this scale is in Osaka. And we did it.

And it was me, Tom Nye, Matt Whitaker, Greta Tidalman, and Bowen. And they knew how much it meant to me because I used to do a show, which was called You Will Get Wet at UCB, which was about me being a boat captain on this ride. A skipper. And I used to stage the whole ride.

And it was one of my bits that I used to do back in the day. Word for word, Sarah. He would recite this entire ride, what the skippers said. I would play the shark Who was saying You know I think every single day in my life There's just a little voice in my head that goes

We're gonna need a bigger boat Yeah, well Well So who said it? It wasn't said because that line isn't in the ride But like How is that line not in the Hey hey hey hey hey

How is that line on the ride? I don't think it was Maybe it wasn't the right But we don't remember saying it though Diva was Giving the performance of a lifetime In total Japanese And this girl was

And you knew. You probably knew what he was saying. She. She. So we got on and I was like, oh my God, we have a girl skipper. I was like obsessed. And I was like, she's about to pull out a gun. And then what did she do?

She raised a shotgun with... She goes full along. And we were screaming and clapping and just dying. And then we did the ride. And afterwards, I was just like, I am so happy. I have not been that happy in a lot. long time, go in, order lunch. They served a

soft shell crab at lunch. We ordered a burrito. That's when you say, we're going to do a burrito when they gave a side of a soft shell crab, a full on soft shell crab. Because it's Japan, and it's they're committed to delight. I'm moving here. Well, the Jaws ride in

Japan is going to be your Rosetta Stone. That's how you become fluent in Japanese. Yes. Because you know if we're going to it. No, that's actually really a good point. Because I was telling them what she was saying as it was You're like, guys, she's not saying we're going to need a bigger boat. No. But it was, it was just, it was, it healed me doing that.

It was really beautiful to see. I loved it. And because you hadn't been on that ride since you were what? Since I was like, well, they, they took that ride out of Universal Studios Florida. Travesty. Um, when I was like, I don't know, 14, 15, 16 to put more Harry Potter shit in. Which, you know, whatever. But like, I just felt like that was such a cool practical ride.

Like the shark coming out of the wall. like, et cetera. It's so amazing. It's amazing. As a spectacle horror, I have such a bad relationship with roller coaster zones. This is why you would love roller coaster zones. I would. It's not a roller coasters.

Well, but I like, because I forced my boyfriend at boyfriend. Yeah. Put your weapons down. Put your weapons down. Put your weapons down. I forced my boyfriend when I moved to L.A. and I was broke to take me to Disney. Land.

Land. Land. Land. And we didn't, you know, we were fucking broke as a joke So we didn't like do anything And I'm like waiting on these long lines I'm like hot, I'm Jewish so I'm hot And I'm complaining. I'm like, oh

Like these lines are so long I'm so dehydrated And he's like, you wanted to come here Because I was like We literally I guess we should go No no no this is my impression of your boyfriend You are you come here Yeah

That's how we talk You guys are going way an octave low up I guess we haven't spent enough time together And I'm going like I'm like waiting in this line. I'm so hot. I'm so dehydrated. We don't have like any money. We can't do anything.

And I see everybody walking around with these giant turkey legs. I'm like, what are you talking about? They're so good though. I'm a triptophan of them. Oh. Oh, well, if that touched my lip, the boiling hot diarrhea that would be spewing out of my mouth and ass would have sent us home from Anheim. So it's like that.

But listen, maybe I got to be wrong with y'all. No, you need to be. roll with y'all with it with us. Because I love a spectacle so I feel like I would. And also because let me tell you something, the way I take care of things, the way I'm on that app like a ninja. I'm like, what app. He knows the app. I know what I'm doing. You're an American Ninja Warrior in Japan. Let's just say like, I'm better than the guides. He's, wow, that's the headline. No, it's not really true. That's not true. Sarah, you're coming with us to the parks. You're coming with us to Beberchella. so we can watch you sob.

Do you see the way I'm like, if you're crying? Would you be interested in Coachella? Well, again, it's the same problem was outside and I'm upset. No, Sarah, we take care of you. No, but Sarah, the Jews already did 40 days and 40 nights in the desert.

It's 41. Celeste and I went last year for the first time and we were like, we don't know what this is. This might not be for us. We're like, we can't believe we get to have new experiences. I can stand up for 16 minutes at a time and I have to sit down.

Sarah. It was me. It was like Sam Minor. Rebecca. It was me. No, no, no. Rebecca Schwartz is there. Rebecca Schwartz, Carrie Powers. What's beautiful woman in America? Taylor and I is Sam Minor. We were all having the time of our lives on drums. Crying at T-Pain. Like, like, Shady! And then all of a sudden you're sobbing and throwing ass at the same time. Do you guys have this thing, which is, I'm sure you do. Actually, you do. That's the whole reasoning of this podcast. You do. You do. You do. You are. You are. You are. You are. You are.

You are so angry. You are. You are. What's our thing? You probably share this. Sometimes I actually can't listen to music or actually take an art of any kind because I'm feeling so sensitive. I'll be so overpowered and overwhelmed that it's actually like a handicap. You don't even know.

You should have. It's pathetic. It's pathetic. How hard I cry at everything. Norm MacDonald writes in his book. Give it read. that sometimes he he couldn't even look at a painting

because he was like I actually can't like I will become so overwhelmed Was he a Pisces too? Y'all are Pisces crying little fish Can I be a D? Can the woman be a diva for a moment And what was it? Act hard?

Act hard? No, what was it? What did your manager say you were acting? Be strong. Oh, acting hard. It was strong. You look up Norm McDonald's Zodiac. I want to be strong and hard for a second.

but I and that's what I'm gonna guess cancer I saw Bone Temple And as Yes I'm gonna say cancer I'm gonna say cancer I guess Pisces

Oh yeah that makes sense Aquarius Aquarius man Not Aquarius man March to the beat of their own drummer A.k.a. Do whatever the fuck they want That girl did

Yes For sure I just won't date him I watched Bone Temple. And there's a moment in Bone Temple where a song happens. But just because a big song was happening, I lost sobbing uncontrollably. Because Ray Fines was dancing to, spoiler alert, don't listen to this if you don't want to know. Do you remember Iron Maiden song?

Wow. The Greatest Showman. I went to go see the greatest showman with Souty Green. the whole time she's like, this is bad. And then I was like, I kind of agreed. And then this happened. When the sharpest words

want to cut me down. And I'm like, gone. Gone. I go. You're gone. You went. You ever watched the Oscars performance of that song?

Couldn't say. Miss Cayola Settle. It's performing the song. And it's like the bridge where she's like, When the sharpest words want to come me down. And it's like,

circling her and she breaks down. No. Oh, she's amazing. I don't say a chance. I have a question for you. You said Matt's Rosetta Stone was the Jaws right in Japanese. I need you

to be on a foreign language journey. I... Which one? Couldn't agree more. What is your foreign language? Listen, guy came up to me on the train the other day and he was like needing me to help him get to his stop

in Spanish and I'm going, fucking I can do this shit. I know fucking Spanish. He goes like, hey, a utime, whatever. Yeah. I'm going like... It's different.

French. Yeah, it's hard. I got that I need to be getting my Spanish. One down boots at the house. We're going to Barcelona. We're going to Barcelona. We're going to Barcelona. We're going to Coachella. We're going to the Barcelona.

Going to the Barcelona and Coachella. Going to travel, it can't ever be enough. I love travel. Again, you know, I've said this before I say it again, unless I'm doing the chuckle hot at the corner of pizza and gate. I'm not. I've literally like one time my boyfriend Dan. Pold your weapons lab girl In the Yukon

He's like let's go to New Orleans I go okay and he goes No shows And I go totally We're walking around New Orleans I walked by an open mic I go I'm gonna pop in

He goes come on You're such a workhorse You love to do an open mic Well this was like Do you miss it? I'm on a stand-up hiatus right now Good Kind of seeing if people notice

Did I say my favorite joke of all times. It's not my joke to say it. You're giving it credit to someone else. Credit to Whitmer Thomas. He goes, you ever notice old people get a frog in their throat? I turn on the TV today just to like get to my switch too. Say it. It's a full video of RFK Jr. Don't. I was like to get this off my screen now. I know it's the condition but I know here's my thing. I don't know how people can look at the cast of characters that is the G. and not see Batman villains. That's why they like them.

Tulsi Gabbard's hair, that one white streak. I'm like, give me a brick. She's an X-Men. That's a who not-to-wear Stacey London streak. Stacey London has a... Who not to wear. He's stupid. How are you the funniest person on the planet?

Oh, my mother was a blackout horror in the sewer right now. I just don't get it. I'm like a pepper in a treetopop, y'all. I'm gone. By the way, can I have one olive of yours? because I feel like everyone's been taking the olives. I took your olives. Put credit where credits do.

You took it. Unfortunately, I do think it's time for I don't think so honey, which is going to be interesting. We didn't even talk about anything. Talk about, wait, talk about Salt Lake City before before. I didn't see the reunion yet. What? What?

I don't know. We were in Tokyo. It was hard. There's no peacock in Tokyo. It's real culture number 10. There's no peacock in Tokyo. Short for penis cock. No, it's not.

don't go there because we've had a really good time. And now you're going to bring in this humor. That's a rule. That's a rule of culture. Rule of culture number 13. Peacock, that's short. Peacock, that's short for penis cock. And that's on boots, period.

That's on boots period. What are your takes on Salt Lake? And don't be afraid. Y'all let Whitney cook. Yes, I was just going to say. I fucking love her of. I love Whitney, too. And I find that people are like, I don't know about Whitney.

I go, you're wrong. Can I say something? Salt Lake would not be what it. It would lose something without Whitney. My beautiful development, full Bronwyn-Newport stand. Come on, Sarah. I've always liked Bronwyn from the beginning. I like that.

I like that she's going through it. I've always liked Bronwyn. This is what makes sure interesting is that we are debating. She's how. highly intelligent. Yes. And I can feel the producing. Yes.

If I was going through a fucking divorce with my big fat husband, I'd come into that reunion and be like, hey, I'm getting a divorce. You didn't tell your friends you're getting a fucking divorce from this giant monster

that's been the top. I know. I'm like, what the fuck are you talking about? If I walked in here and I was like, hey, me and Dan broke up, you'd be like, what? You didn't tell me? It's insane.

But how would you describe Bidana's a... And they're like, kidding, a divorce? What? We're drunk. Like, you know what I mean? Like, it's like, it's...

Like, it's... We're all been fun here. This is history. This is last cult history. Like, okay, can there be like a lower third? Like, when we got drunk, bleep, black out, black out, black out. Black out.

These, these objects in the rearview mirror, these objects in the rearview mirror. We shot in the video, like, Mark of the moment when each of us got wasted. Have you? gotten it. I can't believe you. Can there be like a little Sims diamond over our head when we got wasted to market? To the note that we're not to be taken seriously. We're now a crazy person you might be in a bar. Can mine be the Caroline's harlequin diamond above my head? So I got I got

wasted approximately. We all know this three and a half hours ago. So that should be over my head from the most. I just got scared. I thought there was another flight of drinks coming. My heart Can you imagine? Can you imagine a second round just came in? I can't. That's why we'd be like, like a threat. I'm hungry.

Okay. Oh my God. What is that? More olive. Abby, you gave you. I'm good. I'm good.

I love olives. He's withering away. He's starving. He's starving. I'm so hungry. You don't even know. Thank you. That would be in your house lives tagging.

I love all. And everyone would be like, he fucking sucks. We always hate it. him. I saw this and I went Sephora. You're not wrong.

Yeah, you're not wrong at all. All right, it's time for Adam things so, honey. Wait, my other bond one take. Yeah, go ahead, go ahead. She's highly intelligent, and if you had gotten divorced from you or her husband,

you would be proclaiming it. Oh, and Brittany is a star. What do you think of Britney saying I won't film with her about Meredith, who's like on the show? She said that? Yeah, didn't she? And Britney full and,

and has never touched a snowflake in her life. I'm not filming with her. She's a stark. Well, guess what? Guess what? We love Brittany. The production team of Real House of Salt Lake City. Y'all have an interesting...

Quandry. Y'all have an interesting... You know how they say the restrictions of the sonnet, make the poem... You know how they say the restrictions of the sonnet? You are on one. The restrictions of a sonnet actually... Would you call that iambic pentameter? It makes the...

You're forced. to be creative because you have restrictions. Yes. Thank you for making it Eurocentric and not Asian-centric. Haikus do the same thing. The haiku does the same thing. I'm not speaking on behalf of the haiku culture. And you wouldn't.

I would never. Or else. So it's like, guess what? Editors and producers. Sarah Sherman refuses to speak in high-co. As someone who is of not that experience. Wait, so you're saying the limit. What are the limitations?

It's someone who is of not that experience. I am big pentameter. I said that in. Okay, we're losing the crew. So he's watching Fincher on his phone. So we got to hurry. Watching the same is take quick. Boys, it's like now, well, now that creativity must come from this now.

There's a restriction. So now let's get creative. Let's get what. Meredith called her anti-Semitic, y'all. Y'all, as someone who's speaking of Semetic experience, Meredith, come on now, girl. anti-semitic was tough that was the deflection of the century I'm going to start doing that

next time the deflection of the century next time HR calls me and says Sarah let's talk about what you did today well you're anti-Semitic yeah you know why I am in this room y'all anti-Semitic y'all

and if you're not watching my special you're anti-Semitic you're anti-Sychotic I think it is time for I don't think so honey I want to say really quickly before we move on Osaka was giving Chicago, which is also another reason why you would like that.

Not going. Comedy Town. No, stop, Sarah. Comedy Town. Canal system. Oh, it's amazing. It's so good. It's a canal system.

Why did you say that? What'd you say? Oh, it's a canal system. Why did you say that? Also, my little Salt Lake take. Yeah. It was tough to hear. There's a moment where, I don't know if you saw this.

There's a moment where, like, the women call out Meredith for always, always blaming it on production. That's crazy. And Maryam Cosby is out here being like, this is our family. Why would you go after these people? Production is our family.

How does Meredith respond to that? She doesn't take it well. Well, again, I'm going to say something crazy. What Housewives show would be good if we didn't have a woman acting monstrously to the crew? Understandable. And I'm

She gets to ask for smoothie She gets to say three takes only And I'm like It's do we Listen I do not want any union labor workers To be abused on set

No They work on a housebite show And one of them is gonna be crazy Wouldn't it Not that she's crazy But like If we were like If there was a reality

Housewives show And everyone was like Well Everyone acted like a peach I'm not watching. They all donated to the ACLU. And yeah. And they all donated to the ACLU.

And they're all in mutual aid groups. And I think that what you're going to see is a lot of women getting along and a lot of growth. I think that what's going to happen is you're going to see amazing vacations and certainly. Emotional intelligence. Bloom even more than you thought they could. A lot of emotional intelligence, a lot of patience. You'd be like, great, I didn't realize I'd be watching a screensaver. Period.

How are you the funniest bitch on the planet? You're saying it's stray space. Straight space. Okay. Stray space. Every Lenovo is built to let them move. Let them put a chicken on a skateboard. Please.

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create. Lenovo. The newest tracks. Let's go. New music. And the next big thing. Always on the new music first. Your first place to hear it all. Because you don't like it, love to want to play it twice.

Playing now. I heart new music. Your digital station for brand new drops, fresh vines, and tomorrow's bangers. I think we need something new. Discover IHeart new music. Always fresh, always first. Stream now on the free IHart Radio. In the middle of the night, Sasquia awoke in a haze.

Her husband, Mike, was on his laptop. What was on his screen would change Saskia's life forever. I said, I need you to tell me exactly. what you're doing. And immediately, the mask came off. You're supposed to be safe. That's your home. That's your husband.

So keep this secret for so many years, he's like a seasoned pro. This is a story about the end of a marriage. But it's also the story of one woman who was done living in the dark. dangerous person who prays unvulnerable and trusting people. Your creditor might go up and good. Listen to Betrayal Season 5 on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

What if mind control is real? If you could control the behavior of anybody around you, what kind of life would you have? Can you hypnotically persuade someone to buy a car? When you look at your car, you're going to become overwhelmed with such good feelings. Can you hypnotize someone into sleeping with you? I gave her some suggestions to be sexually aroused. Can you get someone to join your cult? NLP was used on me to access my subconscious.

NLP, aka neurolinguistic programming, is a blend of hypnosis, linguistics, and psychology. Fans say it's like finally getting a user manual for your brain. It's about engineering consciousness. Mind games is the story of NLP. It's crazy cast of disciples. and the fake doctor who invented it at a new age commune and sold it to guys in suits. He stood trial for murder and got acquitted.

The biggest mind game of all, NLP, might actually work. This is wild. Listen to mind games on the Iheart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm running for me. I've got a good one. Oh, shit.

I can go first. Okay. And you all must agree with me. I'm talking to you people at home. Okay. This is... Oh, you want to get a bogo after this. What?

I want to get a bugga after this. Bugga. You're being weird. This is Bowen Yang's. I don't think so honey his time starts now. I don't think so honey the word restaurant. Why do we call it that? It's a crazy fucking word with a crazy fucking spelling.

You want to know what a restaurant is called in Mandarin Chinese. The translation is, meal store. Thank you for the literalism of that. Because calling anything a restaurant automatically, like, borrowing from the French word for a restore, gives it a false sense of service. I'm not restored at a restaurant.

Most of the time, I'm stressed the fuck out. Because it took me three weeks in advance to book this on Rezi. And I get there and I'm like, well, I guess I have to have the most mind-blowing experience of my life. 15 seconds. Even though it's a place where it sells mid food at best. A restaurant, it's a crazy word. It's too fancy.

Five seconds. Sometimes the place isn't fancy enough to merit or warrant the word and title of a restaurant. And that's okay. Sometimes it's a hole in the wall and I just want a little thing that comes out in a metal tray and that's fine. But that qualifies as a restaurant. It shouldn't be called that. And that's one minute.

The word linguistically, it does not bear the weight of what that's. service is. Okay, I'm going to spell the word restaurant right now and I need you spelling B style to say if I got it right. Restaurant. R-E-S-T-A-U-R-A-N-T. Restaurant. That is correct. Okay, because you never know. Is it restaurant? It's restaurant. It's restaurant. Instead of restaurant. I think it's ten letters. for three syllables, that ratio ain't right. It should be restaurant. Restaurant. We should just call it dinner.

We're going to dinner. Sup. We're going to sup. Supper. When would you call something supper? When there's pheasant. When you're Canadian. When there's...

How are you the funniest bitch on the planet? I don't even know how your brain got there. Tell that to the American problem. When would you call it supper? When there's pheasant. Yeah, like a what? Here's when you call it supper. When you're eating something from a fucking spoon.

Ugh. That's how I picture supper. Supper time, there better be a spoon on the table. My God. You know what I'm saying? There better be a stew and I better have my like, my like, it's like peasant fair. Like grandma's had. Peasants for peasants.

I want to go. I want to go. I want to go. I want to go. It's my turn for this, honey. Okay. This is Matt Rogers. I don't think so many as time starts now.

I don't think so, honey, that AI is in Google. No. Gmail. Right. I don't like that. No. Because, and I learned this from Lori from Shark Tank. Because she put up a very helpful reel about how to disable the AI settings on your Gmail.

And I think everyone should do this. Because I don't need AI to be reading my emails. and seeing everything in my Gmail and then like I get an email from a friend and AI was like, oh, this is basically what it says. I didn't fucking ask for that. I feel like you should have to turn on an AI setting in a Gmail and it not just be an assumed thing

that I want AI to deduce for me. Oh, this is basically what this text says. This is basically what this email says. No, because then you're going to miss a joke, a turn of phrase, a little informative thing that's in, addition. Don't stop using your brain. They want you to do that.

I don't think so, honey. And that's one minute. Thank you. I feel like it's just, we're starting to accept this idea that everything is supposed to be just summarized or abridged for us by a thing that is proven to not be correct. No, no, no. What happened to Geneseequa?

What happened to Geneseequa? What happened to that? I'm looking at my texts. It's saying Bone Yang is expressing affection and is inquiring about I'll read the text. You don't have to do all that. It's really like I really feel like it's going to end up with like us being completely inept at understanding or reading. We're not going to be able to read anymore at this rate. Reading is so important.

And thank you, Lori from Shark Tank because she actually walked through how to disable this setting on the Gmail and please go to her Instagram where she does a reel about this and she says at the end, I care about you. Don't go to Instagram. Look back at your leaves.

Well, yeah, don't go to Instagram but I'm just saying. It's like I've really been shook lately by just how much. Oh, yeah. They want you to just accept, yeah, don't use your brain. Be dumbed down, accept this little thing.

No, you're in Sarah's salt psychosis. Yeah. Constantly, if you're relying on AI. And by the way, it's so boring to talk about, but also you have to talk about it because it's everywhere. So my YouTube algorithm is purely videos of these are the best RPGs to play. Fine, I'm watching every single video. But now what I'm noticing is, oh, this is, this was written by ChatGPT because you know what the tell is. This is for everyone in the room and everyone at home. this is the tell when something is written by AI

because I was like, I'm going insane. This is the syntax for everything written by AI, including Gemini and whatever. What's the other one? What have you? What have you? It isn't A, it's B. Do you know what I mean?

It's like, that's not a martini. That's a drink that's a gorgeous, savory cold soup. It's like, that is the way AI thinks it's being profound by being like, it's not this, it's that. Look, I have consciousness. I can determine there's a difference between two things. But the way it denotes that difference is, it's not this, it's that.

Can I ask a question, when has there ever been a piece of, like, when has there ever been, like, a movie, a television show, whatever, that was like, here comes to AI and it ended positive. Literally when, have we seen one example? example of like this being introduced into society and it ends in a way that isn't total destruction. Never. Right.

Where do we think this is going? Right. I'm shook that people just want to march towards this. My straight computer boyfriend. What's your straight computer boyfriend? He has a Google that I don't really know what's called. It's called like Duck, duck, dug boots or something. That is like a Google without AI.

A duck, duck boot. Boots. Can't be it. Goose. I'm so sorry. Well, don't ask AI. Duck, Duck, Duck, Do. I'm so sorry to make fun of you.

Well, I said duck, duck, duck, buck boots, didn't I? And now, duck, Michael Rapoport sending me boots. Now, I want to, I want to point out that your boyfriend is doing the most anti-AI thing ever, which is he's going to school for maps. And geography, bitch, that's the mountains.

That's the land. I don't see. Do I see AI around there? No, because we think, we're over here thinking, oh, yeah, we've mapped the whole sphere. And geography is about things are real and they're happening in your world right now. Yes, it's dynamic. And we don't know anything about the ocean. I don't, it's chilling me to my bones also how many people.

I'm grandma on the computer because I'm going, I'm so not going on with a, knowing what's going on with AI. I'm so not going knowing what's on with AI. I'm so not going to know. By the way, bars. By the way. I wouldn't even know if something is chat GBT coded. Because I'm so, like, I'm still grandma on the computer being like, you're telling me one made a vending machine that takes a live shrimp out of the vending machine, fries it, and then...

Wait, what are you talking about? No one's telling you that. I saw a video. No. Of a vending machine, live shrimp, the claw picks up the live shrimp, fries it, and then it comes out. And I'm going, oh my God, this is amazing. It's time for Sarah Sherman's, I don't think so, honey. I don't think so, honey.

Hold on, hold on. Fuck. This is Sarah Sherman's actually. Lori the Sharks thing about how you get those settings off your Gmail. That's all I want to say. Matt praising billionaires. This is Sarah Sherman's I don't think so, honey.

Her time starts now. I do not think so, honey. People who complain about my Uber driver talk to me today. Oh, shut up. Oh, shut up. You're in his fucking car. Have a conversation.

Oh, I don't want to talk to anyone. My life is so bad. I'm running around. My life is so busy. I have to move so fast. Fucking have a goddamn fucking conversation. What's your fucking problem? Hey, how is your day?

Oh, it's good. What do you do? You know what I say when someone asks me what I do? I go, I'm on Saturday night live. They go, what is that? I go, well, it's a weekly variety comedy show. You don't want anyone to talk to you.

Then take the fucking train. People are going to talk to you on the train. Deal with it. Talk to them back. If you don't want them to talk to you on the train, 15 seconds. Your clothes off. Shit in your hand smeared all over your body.

Be the person on the train that nobody wants to talk to them. You can do it. You don't want people to talk to you. Start acting like it. Move to a fucking. farm if you want people to talk to you. You move to the fucking farm. Have a cow.

That's my time. That's one minute. Have a cow. I hate that. Fucking just talked. Just talk to that. You wouldn't be someone that no one was talked to. Take a shit spirit all over yourself.

It's so crazy. You're fucked up. And listen, sometimes I, someone gives me an inch and I take a mile. Celeste and I were in the bathroom at Panera when we were coming back from our trip. Me, you and 80. So you do take trips.

We take trips. That was a trip. That was a trip. It was 24 hours. Did you enjoy it? Time of my life. Think about it every day. It was so long ago.

It was last time I had fun. Three years ago. We're in the bathroom. You didn't have fun today. I remember that Panera. Literally. I turn. I get wasted and blacked out.

What? You didn't have fun today. Yeah. You sit there for the rest of the day. We leave you. I'm just going to think about some things. I get like I'm really angry and pissed. I literally saw a woman in the bathroom at Panera goes,

Love your pants. Celeste said that. What did you do? This woman's like being kind. Just wants to go to the bathroom. Of course. In passage, she goes, I like your pants. I basically stop her dead in her tracks.

And I'm like, well, I got them on eBay on this, you know, I searched in the, I searched clown pants on eBay. And actually there, Slice is like, let the, Let the woman go. She was just being They love me in the No. They love me Put me in Compathez.

You rolling your eyes back. We did this one. It was on the podcast We read one of our sketches That never got picked. Do you know what sketching I want to read? What?

Successing. No. No. Payton sip. Girl. Do you want to read Payton's sip? Yes, I do. Do I get to play a role?

Yes. Well, guess what? I don't have my phone on me because I'm a white night. I am going to send you. Hold on. Hold on. Send me nothing. Okay.

I can go get my phone. No, I'm going to, I'm going to send Becca this script. But don't you want to see how big and encumberating my phone case is? No, no, no, no, no, no. We'll come around this. Wait, can we read this? And if it flops, then we'll just cut this out. No, I, if it flops, I want people to know why.

All right. I sent it. Oh, you sent it. Oh, I got it. You did? Yeah. Okay, great. Tyler.

Okay, what's my role? Okay, you, I'm going to read stage direction, and then you, Sarah read Sarah, you read Shane. Oh, we wrote this for Shane. We wrote this for when Shane Giles host is great. This is a great sketch. And then you read all the other parts, okay? Okay. Okay. So I'm just Shane. You're Shane and everyone else.

Wait, isn't that Shane and everyone else? Huh? This is Keenan's favorite sketch. Wait, so then I'm also Heidi and Andrew. You're Heidi and Andrew. So I'm going to read all the lines of the top. But then I'm, yes, and that's okay. And I'm reading, I'm reading stage direction. Okay, got it. But you have to do everyone's voice too. Okay.

Okay. Open on exterior paint and zip studio. We go live, Shane with Willie Nelson Braids, leads a painting session. Andrew, Ago, Heidi, Bowen, and Sarah are sitting at canvases. All right, folks. Thanks for coming to the plastered palette. My name, as you know, is Rachel Dolazol. No relation. As you know. Chell? You said, as you know twice, and we definitely don't know. We're just meeting you. And also, Also, you know, I was dropped on my penis as a child, so if I become so spontaneously aroused during our session, you can't take legal action against me because it's a disability. Long beat, knocks on the table twice. Anywho, we're thrilled to host this corporate offside for uniseal adhesives. You guys ready to paint and sit?

Yeah, we are. Come on now. Amazing balls. Now, in addition to your drinks, you should have a water cup to clean. clean your brushes. Oh, so I shouldn't paint with my wine and sip my paint? They all laugh. Definitely not.

I'm just josh and y'all. Wouldn't waste a drop of this vino. Me either. Not after the drought ravaged those vineyards. I know. Climate changes. Good. Say no more.

Let those icebergs melt. Those fat-ass polar bears could stand to swim some laps. And Greta Thunberg could stand a trip to the fore with those eyebags. They're not Gucci, honey. They're puffy. No what I'm saying? Music theme. They interrupt and they confuse and they jump to the wrong conclusion.

They're the wrong takeaway guys. Say no more. The wrong takeaway guys. And they have their own theme song. Awesome. Now who wants to see what we're painting tonight? Oh, we let it be a sunset. It's a dog on the beach.

Shane turns his easel. Oh, now that's cute. Sorry, I'm reading for Andrew. Now that's cute. Oh my gosh. It looks just like your chihuahua, Pauline. It does. You know, ever since we rescued Pauline, it's like, did we rescue her or did she?

Say no more. Shop don't adopt. Don't want any damage little freaks dragging their traumas and open wounds into my house. Pure breads are bust. I want a dog. I can show off at the grove. No, I'm saying. He's talking on the phone.

Uh, mom, I'm going to be home late tonight. Something amazing is happening. Greg and Chegg, what are you guys drinking? We've been shotguning O'Dule since 7 a.m. They shotgun two beers. You guys are shotgunning non-alcoholic beer? Wait, I have on here that the session was for six people. Are we missing someone?

Yeah, our office manager, Kyle's flight got delayed. God, air travel is so screwed up lately. We really need to start driving planes. on the ground like cars to stop them from blowing up in the sky and hurting and hurting birds say no more and get rid of the black boxes let it be a mystery no what i'm saying no we don't know what you're saying planes as cars how would that work we live in manhattan say no more they should pull your central park and build a new pyramid all hail the sun god rah can i ask what gregg and shan

Chegg do with the company? They're the founder CEOs. We're a glue company and they own a big horse farm. By the way, we finished our paintings. They flip their canvases to reveal paintings of a priest behind bars. Is that a priest in jail? Oh my

God, that belongs in... Santa Moore in the Louvre. I was going to say in the garbage. Read my lips. We integrate church and state post haste, but privatized prisons. That's enough. We thought this would bring us to as a team, but your wrong takeaways are tearing us apart.

So we quit. Wait, guys, Greg and Chegg just want to express themselves. And this place is more than pain and sip. It's a pain and sip and listen. And forgive. Wow. We're sorry we yelled at me. Wow.

We're sorry we yelled at you, Greg and Chegg. You guys really are good bosses, even if we disagree sometimes. Say no more. A multitude of a bunch of our. opinions makes us stronger as a team. Wow, that's actually true. On the opposite day. Guys, the wrong takeaway guys.

Look, guys, I painted two girls kissing. Shane grabs his crotch. Oh, my disability. Not one laugh. People in the room. No one laughing. No, I saw some smiles and chuckles. I don't.

I don't think it's, because I think because I read all the other parts, maybe people can't tell. But I do think we should keep the entire thing. What a Greg and Chegg is confusing. Greg and Chegg, they're the founder, CEOs of a glue company. Honestly, I think it works. I think we keep it in. I wish, in retrospect, I had done more different kinds of noises.

No. No. For a cold read, you were amazing. And I kept seeing the name Shane and thinking it said Sarah, because I'm blackout. I would start to do the line and go, no, that's the celebrity host, Mama. Played by Matt Rogers. So why did that go straight to error?

I think I tabled it like nine. Right, guys. By the way, please watch the incident on YouTube, a cover time sketch that I think is, it stands as one of your best. It's one of my best. And it's all I said. How was Tiana Taylor?

She's literally Someone would be like, I love her shirt And she'd be like, you can have it Literally shirt off your back vibes She I've always Fucking loved her Also, I would just be like Looking at her because she's beautiful all day

The most gorgeous body Is she like she really feels like she carries the light Like she comes in a room and is like gorgeous And it's a beautiful experience Yes and she wears like big baggy pants And baggy coats But you're like I can see right through this baggie.

She's the most beautiful body in America. Yeah, she really does. At the Grammys, I was like, oh my God, every time you see her, you're like, I fucking forgot you are crazy hot. I'm going to pull a stunt and wear that exact dress on my fat ass, and it really heads will turn. What fat ass are you talking about?

Girl, I'm fat like a Christmas house. We have to go. This is the Blackout episode. This is historic. A wonderful episode of Lost Gold. You guys have never blacked out on Mike? No. I don't think we have.

Have me? How many episodes? Literally 500. Over 500. We missed it. We definitely missed our 500th. We're well over it. Sarah Sherman.

Because 440 was actually 400. We were 40 episodes over our 400. No, we're so over. We're way past it. We might as well just wait until 600. Because we're about to celebrate our 10-year anniversary, which kind of is the 500th, but it's like, it's too much. Nicole Kidman.

No. We end every episode with a song. Actually? Yeah. Let it burn. You feel it be. Feeling ain't the same when your body don't want to. But you know, got to let it go.

Because my body ain't a real lucky. Live the wrong takeaway. Let it burn. Let it burn. Deep down you know it's best. We part with you. Hate the thought of the beat. with someone else

but you know that it's over So hear more of that song Listen to Confessions Let it burn By Usher Let it burn Let it burn Let it burn

You come Bye Bye Yeah Last Culture Recess is the production by Will Ferrell's Big Money Players And Iheart Radio podcasts

Created and hosted Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang Executive produced by Anna Hosnii and produced by Becker Ramos Edited and mixed by Doug BAME. And our music is by Henry Kmerzky. Every Lenovo is built to

Let them go. Let them work and rework. Let them animate. A dinosaur. No, a toaster. No, a hamster and a jetback. Fun! Let them put golden wings on a dog. Good boy. Let them color correct. Anywhere and everywhere. Let them make. Powered by Intel Core Ultra processors, Lenovo gives creatives everything they need.

Lenovo.com. Let creatives create. In the middle of the night, Sasquia awoke in a haze. Her husband, Mike, was on his laptop. What was on his screen would change Saskia's life forever. I said, I need you to tell me exactly what you're doing. And immediately, the mask came off. You're supposed to be safe. That's your home.

That's your husband. Listen to Betrayal Season 5 on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcast. or wherever you get your podcasts. Black history lives in our stories, our culture, and the conversations we still having today. This Black History Month, the podcast, I didn't know. Maybe you didn't either. Digs into the moments, perspectives, and experiences that don't always make the textbook.

Let me tell you about Garrett Morgan. Brough had to pretend he didn't even exist just to sell his own invention. Listen to I Didn't Know. Maybe you didn't either. from the Black Effect Podcast Network on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or simply wherever you get your podcast.

Seems like just yesterday that the Two Guys Five Rings podcast was in Paris for the Olympics. And now we're heading to Milan with the 26 Milan-Cortina Olympic Winter Games. I'm Bowen-Yang. And I'm Matt Rogers and we'll join athletes

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